AngryJailhouseFistfark: They rigged up a ramp where anyone can get on the thing and only once you're committed do you realize that there's no toll-taker option. You either have the EZ-Pass radio transponder or you don't. The sign informing you "EZ-Pass Required" is little more than the sign you might have in your neighborhood reading, "Cloaca Lane" or "Mutton Road".And once you're in, there's no way out NOR do you have any idea what fate awaits you if you don't pay the toll. Could be the Drone comes out of the Pentagon and Hellfire's your illicit motoring ass. Could be the whole thing locks up like those giant steel plates that come up out of the ground around the Capitol Building and other super-secure locations around here. Rather than risk such a fate, the only alternative is to back your shiat on up the ramp to freedom and hope your friendly fellow motorists will take sympathy on you.Turns out it's a minor fine if you don't have the EZ-Pass, something like $12.50 plus a $1.50 handling fee. They should make the EZ-Pass Required sign a GIANT farking billboard, screaming at you, some radio message broadcasting at 10 Million Megawatts across the entire radio spectrum so that no matter what you're tuned to it'll scream "YOU MUST HAVE AN EZ-PASS OR THE VIRGINIA DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION WILL HOLD YOU DOWN AND ADMINISTER AN ANGRY JAILHOUSE FISTFARK!" or some such warning.
Hack Patooey: The cause of the crash has not been determined but Virginia State Police are urging drivers to be careful and not back up if they mistakenly enter the Express Lanes.I see it all the time, but who the fark thinks its OK to back up on the highway because you screwed up an exit?
GRCooper: That being said, I'm a Alexandrian transplant from NJ, and I cannot BELIEVE how shiatty the driving is here. And by shiatty, I mean slow, slow, not-in-a-rush, get-the-fark-out-of-the-left-lane, do-the-farking-speed-limit shiattyYou should'a been there back in the day. In the 80's, the beltway was a 90mph, bumper-to-bumper deathmatch Circus Maximus, baby./then you yankees all moved down and farked it up
oakleym82: This thing. You switch to to "HOV ON" if you have 3 people in your car, then you don't get charged the toll. It's not complicated.
AngryJailhouseFistfark: This is Metro DC. It is a place of cults and cults of cults. A place of secret access, of passwords and back rooms. It is a culture of exclusion and rigid hierarchy, where systems and structures that would be simple and commonplace anywhere else are bound up in jargon and codes and hoops through which one must jump in order to prove worthy to be in The Club.
wambu: Hey NOVA FARKers!When I used to visit DC, I parked in the old Perpetual Savings Bank parking lot near the yellow line just off the beltway (near Geo. Washinton's Masonic lodge). It's been years, so that option is probably no longer available. I'm planning a trip to visit some museums. Where are some good parking lots in NOVA for those of us just visiting that are near a Metro station? I don't mind paying to park, but free is always better.
ImpendingCynic: WTH is an "HOV-capable" EZ-pass?? Why doesn't a standard EZ-pass work as-is? C'mon Virginia, this doesn't need to be complicated.
computerguyUT: I think it's BS that they take public road space, publicly maintained roads and tell you that you can't use them, even though you're paying your taxes.For them to be fair and legal, they need to create their own space that does not infringe on the public roadways, fund them privately, maintain them privately, and charge whatever the usage market will bear for use.They did the same thing here in Utah. They took one of our lanes away, turned it into a (miserable faliure of an) HOV lane and charge for it's use unless you're carpooling or have paid for the Express (whatever the hell they're calling it).It's a complete joke.
groppet: And work wonders why I dont want to transfer to any of our DC/VA offices. Commuted there for years and it was not worth the hassle. Wait til the snow hits the hot lanes then you will see the fun. What a waste of money, the best thing you can do is avoid Tysons corner all together.
RsquaredW: They've had five collisions since the HOT lanes opened on Saturday, all of which were people who got caught going onto the lanes and trying to swerve out. Brilliant signage, obviously.
freewill: Fade2black: A woman.If I could have the time back that I've spent frantically reminding the g/f that no, she can't just brake here to give herself a moment to think about what to do next.../ The cop is waving you on to the right. Go. Go now! I know we were going left, but the road is closed. There are on other options. You have to go right. THE COP IS GETTING PISSED. GO.
jkl65s4: There has been an extensive media campaign for these new express lanes. The traffic reporters are going out of their way to mention it as well as a big push since summer to get the locals signed up and using E-ZPass. I seriously don't know how much more clear it could be. The only thing I can suggest is parking a state trooper at the entrance 24/7, as people are a lot less likely to do stupid things if they know a cop is right there who will give them an even bigger ticket.
Some FAQs for the road:
How do I know how many axles my vehicle has?If you are driving a private passenger vehicle and not towing a trailer, chances are your vehicle has two axles. However, you should contact the E-ZPass agency which manages your account to verify the number of axles on your vehicle. Please make sure that your vehicle has only two axles before your first trip in the 495 Express Lanes.There was an accident and I did not receive a faster trip. Will I be charged?We are sorry to hear that your trip in the 495 Express Lanes did not meet you expectations. Refunds will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.What are the administrative fees for toll violations?If you do not pay your toll, the best thing to do is to immediately go to the ?Missed Toll??page to pay your toll. There will be a $1.50 administrative fee to cover the cost of collecting the toll. If the 495 Express Lanes has to send you a letter with an unpaid invoice, that administrative fee goes up to $12.50 per trip. If you do not pay your first invoice then that fee escalates to $25.00 per trip.
brigid_fitch: Hack Patooey: The cause of the crash has not been determined but Virginia State Police are urging drivers to be careful and not back up if they mistakenly enter the Express Lanes.I see it all the time, but who the fark thinks its OK to back up on the highway because you screwed up an exit?Not only do I see this all the time, some farkwit BACKED INTO ME once! Going onto an entrance ramp and the car started giving me issues--wouldn't accelerate right, almost every idiot light on the dash starts flashing. Didn't want to pull onto a busy highway when she's acting up, so I pulled onto the shoulder & called AAA. As I'm waiting, a white commercial pickup truck passes me, goes onto the shoulder, and starts backing up. I figure he's being a good Samaritan and wants to see if he can help. Except that he's not slowing down. Hit the horn but the car's turned off--no horn. By the time I turn on the ignition to try the horn again or maybe try to get the hell out of the way, the asshole slams right into me. Bumper crumples, trailer hitch on the back of the truck punctures the radiator. When he tries to pull forward, he nearly rips the radiator out of the engine. No injuries, thankfully, just utter incredulity.Luckily, the 2 guys he was with told the cops the truth. I don't think anyone, myself included, would EVER believe that somebody got backed into on the shoulder of a busy highway ramp. But it happened./CSB//VW's apparently have a "limp-home" mode (Emergency Running Mode). That's what kicked in that day. Never experienced it before.
gochuck: I laugh at the people who live out in the burbs. If you work in DC, live in DC (especially if you don't have kids, no excuse then).
genepool lifeboat: I actually know people that will get on an expressway, even if there is a more direct route, simply because it is the only way they know how to get anywhere.
Want more stories with less ads? Try
It's what the cool kids are doing.It's also how we pay the bills.
Sign up for the Fark NotNewsletter!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2017 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Nov 21 2017 14:34:53
Runtime: 0.318 sec (317 ms)