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(Lexington Herald Leader)   Sometimes the comments are more relevant than the article   (kentucky.com) divider line 34
    More: Sad, Big Lots  
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20484 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2012 at 11:15 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-19 11:27:24 AM  
5 votes:
I think that shopping on Thanksgiving is a good idea. Shoppers get a leg up on the X-Mas rush, and I get some quality alone time to break into their homes and steal all their stuff. It's win win!

/Last year I finished all of my 'Holiday Shopping" by Friday at 3:00 AM.
//And all I had to pay for was a crowbar and some gas.
2012-11-19 11:03:52 AM  
5 votes:
that guy writes really well for a dude that works at a big lots in kentucky.
2012-11-19 12:55:00 PM  
4 votes:
It's ATTRACTIVE AND SUCCESSFUL AFRICAN AMERICAN FRIDAY 
/get it *right*
2012-11-19 10:20:23 AM  
4 votes:

sigdiamond2000: FTFA:

I caught the Black Friday shopping bug as a child on - wait for it - Thanksgiving. My family would dine on country ham, fried potatoes and the like, then head to the Big Lots in Cynthiana. It wasn't for the door-buster deals or anything; it was just a fun way to spend the afternoon.

These people have serious, serious mental problems.


Seriously... ham on Thanksgiving?
2012-11-19 02:20:43 PM  
3 votes:

the8re: I have a BA in Theatre.

I went back to another school to get my CCNA.

I work in technology and get 11 days off (including Christmas week), 2 weeks vaca, and 2 weeks PBA.

Go to school, learn the right things, get a good job.

Don't and you will work on Thanksgiving.

Or quit. As I have said in other threads, there are plenty of people who would be thankful to have a friggin job.



Show me on the doll where the mall Santa touched you.
2012-11-19 11:36:24 AM  
3 votes:

the8re: I have a BA in Theatre.

I went back to another school to get my CCNA.

I work in technology and get 11 days off (including Christmas week), 2 weeks vaca, and 2 weeks PBA.

Go to school, learn the right things, get a good job.

Don't and you will work on Thanksgiving.

Or quit. As I have said in other threads, there are plenty of people who would be thankful to have a friggin job.


You now have 25 minutes to get to the gym.
2012-11-19 11:32:40 AM  
3 votes:
Just go to work and after a couple of hours call your boss to the side and tell him you farted and pooped your pants. You get to go home early and be with your family then.
2012-11-19 11:24:04 AM  
3 votes:
African American friday? No thanks.

I'm sticking around for CyberMen Monday.
2012-11-19 11:15:46 AM  
3 votes:

thomps: that guy writes really well for a dude that works at a big lots in kentucky.


He probably has a BA in liberal arts or theater.
2012-11-19 10:05:04 AM  
3 votes:

Nezorf: I agree with the comments on this.

Black friday shiat is never worth it. Saving $10 is not worth not seeing your family.


Some of us would actually pay for that option, but that's beside the point.
2012-11-19 11:59:14 AM  
2 votes:
Good to know Black Friday shoppers are "heroes". I always thought those troglodytes that trample Wal-Mart Greeters to get that $x.88 deal on some cheaply-made garbage were kind of like Audie Murphy and Chesty Puller in their heroism.
2012-11-19 11:43:23 AM  
2 votes:

Summer Glau's Love Slave: I think that shopping on Thanksgiving is a good idea. Shoppers get a leg up on the X-Mas rush, and I get some quality alone time to break into their homes and steal all their stuff. It's win win!

/Last year I finished all of my 'Holiday Shopping" by Friday at 3:00 AM.
//And all I had to pay for was a crowbar and some gas.


Too much effort.

Just go to the mall & clean out the overstuffed cars. Hit a couple of SUVs and you're done.
2012-11-19 11:35:48 AM  
2 votes:

darth_badger: Just go to work and after a couple of hours call your boss to the side and tell him you farted and pooped your pants. You get to go home early and be with your family then.


What are you gonna do when he asks to see the goods? Quit bein a sissy and just shiat your pants in historic native american fashion.
2012-11-19 11:25:12 AM  
2 votes:
I will be too drunk and full to move from the couch anyways
2012-11-19 11:15:07 AM  
2 votes:

jaylectricity: vladster


Even better is one of the responses: Vladster, I would have shared this on the internet, but according to the terms of use, that appears to be a copyright infringement to do so. Great post.

The Internet police are coming for you. Consequences won't be the same.
2012-11-19 02:34:33 PM  
1 votes:
Well if they wanted people to take thanksgiving seriously, why did they put it so close to black friday?
2012-11-19 02:07:21 PM  
1 votes:

jfivealive: darth_badger: Just go to work and after a couple of hours call your boss to the side and tell him you farted and pooped your pants. You get to go home early and be with your family then.

What are you gonna do when he asks to see the goods? Quit bein a sissy and just shiat your pants in historic native american fashion.


Done and done.
2012-11-19 02:01:33 PM  
1 votes:

Summer Glau's Love Slave: Khazar-Khum: Summer Glau's Love Slave: I think that shopping on Thanksgiving is a good idea. Shoppers get a leg up on the X-Mas rush, and I get some quality alone time to break into their homes and steal all their stuff. It's win win!

/Last year I finished all of my 'Holiday Shopping" by Friday at 3:00 AM.
//And all I had to pay for was a crowbar and some gas.

Too much effort.

Just go to the mall & clean out the overstuffed cars. Hit a couple of SUVs and you're done.

I wanna be you when I grow up.

/I can be ur disciple?


Sure!

Lesson one: Buy receipts & store bags from people as they shove junk into their car. Makes returns easier for you.
2012-11-19 01:10:33 PM  
1 votes:

Englebert Slaptyback: bhcompy

because you sold half a thousand cases of Bud Light 30packs.


Why didn't you just say 500?

Are you one of those people who say "half a decade" instead of "five years"?


Agreed. Should obviously have been "a thousand half-cases of Bud Light 30packs."
2012-11-19 12:42:41 PM  
1 votes:
... who the hell physically goes to stores anymore?

Even if you're willing to trample an obese woman to death and punch an angry grandmother square in her ugly face just to get a copy of Kazaam (which by all accounts was a fine spectacle of theater) with a 2 dollar discount, why bother? You know that ugly old woman is going to spit on you, and even the majestic screenwork of Shaq isn't worth that. Crack her nose open with an elbow and lay her out bloody and enraged on the floor, and she'll resort to spitting and cursing, I'd just bet.

It's all on the internet, and it's cheaper, easier to find, they deliver it to your door and even if you buy all the cheese in the state of Wisconsin, shipping's only a nickle (free with your free trial of Amazon Prime!). They'll probably even suggest a funeral home that can take care of the hate crime you commit against your toilet afterwards.

Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't physically strike ugly women - I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that we're already in the second decade of the new millennium, and jockeying for position around a bargain bin and fighting over Glitter-Whore Bratz dolls is so last century.
2012-11-19 12:39:18 PM  
1 votes:
Nezorf:

I agree with the comments on this. Black friday shiat is never worth it.

I agree with feeling sympathy for the employees on this. This is what they call "wage slavery," folks. And who will be our Lincoln?


Saving $10 is not worth not seeing your family.

On the other hand I have no family to speak of myself and live 500 miles away from the few I bother to keep in some kind of touch with. It makes life much easier, cheaper and less stressful: with no family to support -- i.e. with no need to buy affection and power from other human beings -- the world has much less hold over me. I need not fear that becoming more impoverished will give my wife an excuse to ditch me for a richer stupider man, nor need I worry that my daughter will become a pillhead ho and need treatment I can't afford, nor need I be concerned that spending myself working to pay the mortage might deprive my son of a good role model and leave him to become an iSomething-toting hipster. Even becoming homeless won't mean giving up very much, for at the shelter bedbugs can bite me for free.

I heartily recommend misanthropy and cynicism to anyone seeking a life of liberty and simplicity. Not only does satifying my alleged intimacy needs by petting the neighbor's indoor/outdoor cat beat all hell of all the crap one has to go through to maintain any kind of relationship with another human being, it also costs nothing in financial terms too. And thanks to cheap booze and Internet porn I don't even need to go to strip bars anymore.

It's not that "people persons" are despicable suckers: somebody has to provide me with products and services, and there are no better motivators than fear and greed for people who are afraid to live and die alone. The fact is I'd be up a creek if it weren't for you poor souls, so I can't help feeling immense gratitude and the deepest sympathy for you and the jams you get youselves into; also without your plights to compare my life to I might not realize how incredibly lucky I am.

Without you I'd be nothing but a horribly pathetic loser. Thanks for being saps.
2012-11-19 12:26:26 PM  
1 votes:

pgh9fan: What's the big deal about working on Thanksgiving? I work at a bowling alley and I'm going to work. Couldn't care less. It's what I do. If I wasn't working I would be at the mall shopping. So what?

I'll get paid to work Thursday.


Yes, well, you see some people have these things called "families" that they like to have at least one guaranteed day of the year to spend time with. But I'm sure your tubesocks emulate those feelings just as well.
PJ-
2012-11-19 12:25:44 PM  
1 votes:

Englebert Slaptyback: bhcompy

because you sold half a thousand cases of Bud Light 30packs.


Why didn't you just say 500?

Are you one of those people who say "half a decade" instead of "five years"?


Are you one of those people who walk around parties correcting people on things that they say because you don't approve how they word things?
2012-11-19 12:18:59 PM  
1 votes:

xanadian: This is even better:

[i249.photobucket.com image 639x429]


I've always wanted a large fan for my ass
2012-11-19 12:12:30 PM  
1 votes:

thecpt: Me and my friends have been saying exactly this all week. I'm hoping the American consumer has found his or her limit for what they're willing to spend money on.

It's sad. Stay home, eat turkey, and watch some football


Fark football

PUNKIN CHUNKIN!!

science.discovery.com
2012-11-19 12:10:11 PM  
1 votes:
Won't someone think of the poor strippers who have to work on holidays?
2012-11-19 11:46:16 AM  
1 votes:
I think Black Friday is awesome. I go every year.

But I think shopping on Thanksgiving is awful and I think anyone who shops on Thanksgiving is an awful person. Seriously, Lincoln declared Thanksgiving a national holiday and set the date. You're offending Lincoln if you shop on Thanksgiving. 

Seriously, if you're not happy with a day dedicated to gorging yourself on turkey and watching TV, there's something wrong with you.
2012-11-19 11:31:53 AM  
1 votes:
Welcome back, fellow Black Friday shoppers, to this fifth annual edition of tips and quips. But I'm afraid, heroes, that quips are once again in short supply,

Heroes?

for our holiday is under siege. In fact, it's almost completely lost.

Under siege?

It's Black Friday.

No, fark you!
2012-11-19 11:30:04 AM  
1 votes:

spif: A few things...

1. Turkey + Ham on Thanksgiving


2. This is the best holiday we have as Americans. No damn gifts, just food and laziness.
3. Know too many people that are pissed off about this. I will deliver a scowl to all who are actually shopping on this day.

 

FTFM

My family has always had turkey AND ham on Thanksgiving.

Goose and ham for Christmas.
2012-11-19 11:25:45 AM  
1 votes:
How about just not going and doing your shopping online? You will be able to avoid the stampede of overweight gutter trash crushing one another as they kill and maim trying to get the latest doll or stupid ass toy at 20 percent off.

/Christmas shopping done, all online at good discounts.
//waiting for the following "herd" vids and death videos from the wal mart stampedes.

//pops popcorn.
2012-11-19 11:23:26 AM  
1 votes:

xanadian: thomps: that guy writes really well for a dude that works at a big lots in kentucky.

He probably has a BA PhD in liberal arts or theater English.


FTFY
2012-11-19 11:22:43 AM  
1 votes:
No backlash against this guy yet? Then again, I haven't refreshed the comments yet...
2012-11-19 11:21:05 AM  
1 votes:

sigdiamond2000: FTFA:

I caught the Black Friday shopping bug as a child on - wait for it - Thanksgiving. My family would dine on country ham, fried potatoes and the like, then head to the Big Lots in Cynthiana. It wasn't for the door-buster deals or anything; it was just a fun way to spend the afternoon.

These people have serious, serious mental problems.


They need to get out of the house more.
2012-11-19 11:19:19 AM  
1 votes:
This is even better:

i249.photobucket.com
 
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