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(Daily Mail)   Are men less obsessed with sex than we think? Psychologist says stereotype of dirty-minded males is a myth   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 154
    More: Unlikely, Malaga, Petraeus, Andrew P. Smiler  
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6143 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2012 at 3:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-18 07:24:46 PM
I have no idea what that article was about but it mentioned sex and I... Wait, did someone mention sex?
What was I talking about again?
 
Skr
2012-11-18 07:26:47 PM
Sex is great. It takes varying degrees of effort to get everyone in the mood and have the opportunity. Both guys and gals probably keep in mind that even the little things they are doing could have an effect on if they or their partner is going to be in the mood later. While sex might not be the first and foremost thing on the mind, a little kindness here or there could make a big difference in the outcome of the evening.
Stable partners lead to falling into routines, which can be a burden or boon. With proper motivation routines can be switched up which can give a feeling of renewal. Some people just aren't compatible, and it is sad to see couples like that.
 
2012-11-18 07:28:56 PM

NetOwl: Not wanting to cheat on my girlfriend doesn't make me prudish. I never said sex is vile; it just not something we all need all the time. (It's also not something we all have the luxury of having. Remember, some of us were born ugly.)

I'm not arguing for the religious "wait for marriage" position. I'm just saying that controlling yourself is a prfectly valid lifestyle, and in many cases, it's better than the alternative. When the alternative involves dehumanizng women or hurting them through infidelity, my way is just flat out better.


I was somewhat following what you were saying in support, but not sure about this part. What do you feel dehumanizes and hurts them? the cheating?
 
2012-11-18 07:29:37 PM

murdoch's_weeners: There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.


It's a little of both. We do tend to encourage each other that way.
However, there is an underlying difference between men and women as far as how we evaluate the attractiveness of another person. Women seem to base their attraction to someone, even their very initial evaluations, far more on a social analysis of that person -- whether they look like a douchebag, how they dress, how they talk to other people, whether they appear to be educated, or wealthy, or what have you. Obviously each woman has their priorities. Men, on the other hand, can and often do base their initial attraction to a woman based mostly on how they look. Tall, short, slim, voluptuous, long hair or short, redhead or brunette, just like women we each have our own priorities... they're just based on something different. In fact, men are largely terrible at making social evaluations the way women do. Women read body language like an I Can Read book. By comparison, for men it is like a kindergartener trying to read Tolstoy.

Now that's not to say that we don't care about personality, or that it isn't important to us in a long term relationship, or that it doesn't contribute to our attraction to someone, or even that some women might not do the same thing as we do. But it is, by and large, what produces an initial attraction for us, it is an important part of our ongoing attraction to someone, and many guys don't need any more than that to genuinely desire to have sex with someone. You can see it in the proliferation of "I'd Hit That" memes on Fark. Sure it is a joke, but only kind of; and believe me when I say that some of us struggle with this. Society by and large has deemed it "shallow" for us to think this way -- that looks are something that should be overlooked, and that we are kind of douchey for making issue of it. But I can't stop being attracted to comely women any more than women can decide to be attracted to a guy who acts like a prick. It's just how our brains work. Sorry :-/


murdoch's_weeners: Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?


No, not ANY woman -- just one that I find attractive.
And yes, I very well might.


murdoch's_weeners: And that you think this is normal behavior?


Like I was saying before -- for us, yes it is, but it is highly stigmatized and so most of us will lie and say "of course not" if someone whose opinion we care about asks us.


murdoch's_weeners: The thing is: Most guys won't do that. No, really. If all men behaved that way, society would cease to function.


Yeah most guys would if the woman were attractive enough.
I don't see why society would cease to function, but it's a moot point because women just don't generally offer us that option.


murdoch's_weeners: Again: Men pick and choose. So do women.


Yes, but we pick and choose based on different sets of criteria.


murdoch's_weeners: Plenty of men will admit that their girlfriends/wives see a side of them that other men don't see. What makes that less real? The fact that only women get to see it?


It isn't that it isn't real, it's that it isn't the whole truth. Women also often don't get to see a side of their boyfriends or husbands that other men do. Why? Well...

murdoch's_weeners: I don't know why you're so invested in this idea that men are the equivalent of animals


Do you think your boyfriend wants you to think of them as sub-human?
We know very well what you'd think of how we think, so we don't show you that part.


murdoch's_weeners: Your assumption that what men witness, what men experience, is more legitimate than what women experience is pretty much the definition of patriarchy.


What do you call it, then, when a person of one sex tells a person of another sex how their sex "should" behave?

murdoch's_weeners: You're not an animal. Why do you want everyone to believe you are? It's creepy. Be a man.


What do you know about being a man?
You haven't any clue what it's like, and yet you purport to tell men how they are supposed to think and act.
And then when they tell you what being a man actually is like, you compare them to animals?
That sounds pretty sexist to me.
 
2012-11-18 07:40:21 PM

NetOwl: You're assuming they merely have easier access (and they do have easier access), but that's because that fits the expectations most people have. The people I'm thinking of really do like it more, though. I was surprised when I first learned this, but it turned out to be true. Several girls who seemed to be conservative and shy and whatnot turned out to be quite different once I got to know them.


And they probably still want sex less often than men with similar temperament. There are plenty of reasons for this, some are societal and some are biological. Sex has actual biological consequences for women that it doesn't have for men. The only consequences for men are imposed by society.


I can think of several girls who have slept with all but one or two of their male friends (and I'm always one of their exceptions). I know one girl who doesn't even date because she claims she is unable to commit to just one guy at a time. I know another who would keep three or four guys aroun at all times and pick whichever was more convenient on a given weekend.


Here's the thing: You talk about these women like they are exceptions. Special cases you know. You can think of several girls. Can you think of several guys like that? I'm betting you don't, not because men don't act like that... rather, because so many men act like that so the behavior doesn't stand out.

Also, that girl who can't commit might want to look up polyamory. It is possible to date and have a real relationship without closing yourself off to everyone else. Just need to actually be honest about it and your intentions and desires so no one is surprised.


These are all people who, like me, live on the margins of society and its expectations, but they're still real, and I think they are underrepresented.


No one said they weren't real, but for any given woman they are less likely to desire sex as much as a similar male. Less likely to desire sex in the same way as a similar male too.


I also think they are less likely to be honest about their preferred lifestyle around more traditional guys.


I think women can be less honest about that in general, and that really does come down to societal pressure. Men are expected to like sex and want it, so there's no real pressure to hide their feelings on the matter. In fact, as someone else posted earlier, it can be a negative for a man to hide his sexual desire too much.

BUT that doesn't mean women desire sex as much, as often, or in the same way as men.

Somehow, people have trouble with the fact that a guy can yell at one hockey player to kill another hockey player yet still not want casual sex.)


But do you really not want casual sex, or do you just think it's wrong somehow? You never had a dream about an anonymous girl, or a fantasy?

Somehow I doubt it.


I realize I'm in the minority, but I think the minority is larger than most suppose.


Maybe, but still the minority. :P
 
2012-11-18 07:42:42 PM

fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?


You're both right and both wrong, IMO.
Both your interpretations are correct, but neither of them invalidates the other; their sexual appetites just vary under different circumstances. I've met plenty of women who desire sex more frequently than their boyfriends. Yet, in the case of a random person walking up and propositioning them, she would never have done it while the boyfriend would probably say yes. Which one of them "wants sex more"?
 
2012-11-18 07:45:50 PM
For every woman you don't think about, I'll think about three?
 
2012-11-18 07:46:06 PM

Telos: Right, because there's no middle ground or anything... no way to show interest without completely lacking self-control. That'd be silly.


No need to get sarcastic; of course there's a middle ground. Unfortunately there's instruction manual to growing up, so it takes some people a lifetime to learn what others learn in high school.

It's openly documented that women are taught two conflicting standards, but this thread is as good a place as any to point out that the advice men get isn't any better. The advice we get is generally limited to sexist generalizations about women by other men, bad pick-up tips, all the wrong lessons from fictional romance and a sweeping demonization of the male libido. It's not like a cumulative pile of nonsense results in any sort of lesson that makes sense.
 
2012-11-18 07:46:47 PM

dragonchild: Unfortunately there's NO instruction manual to growing up


FTFM
 
2012-11-18 07:53:56 PM

murdoch's_weeners: Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?

And that you think this is normal behavior?

The thing is: Most guys won't do that.


BTW, these men seem to disagree with you.
 
2012-11-18 07:56:06 PM
The Kindle book is only 10$. You can read it, review his evidence, and form an informed opinion. Or you can read a short article from the Daily Mail and mouth off your received opinions here without any risk of learning or growing as a human being.

Your move.
 
2012-11-18 07:58:39 PM

NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.


Part of this whole ridiculous argument (which I read but didn't quote) has to do with the biomechanics of the sex act, completely separate from any notions of equality or who wants sex more or any of that higher-brain-function stuff. Women, by and large, (and wildly overgeneralizing) need more in the way of external stimuli to enjoy sex than men do. A quickie in the bathroom MIGHT be appealing under the right circumstances and with the right person--but most of us are going to think first of all of all the downsides of a public toilet: The smell, the graffiti, the various sharp corners our partner is inevitably going to bang us into, some asshole walking in right before we climax...It's not my idea of a great place to screw. It's not going to put me in the mood, you know?

So it's a reverse-overgeneralization. The idea that sex for men is entirely a physical function and all they want is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, usually without the thank you, and they'll do it anywhere, any time, with anything that can't get away. I suppose it's true that that's what they THINK about, but then a lot of women think about it too. It's what they DO that matters, and most men (and women) don't actually do that.
 
2012-11-18 08:03:16 PM

dragonchild: Telos: Right, because there's no middle ground or anything... no way to show interest without completely lacking self-control. That'd be silly.

No need to get sarcastic;


There's _always_ a need to get sarcastic! ;)


It's openly documented that women are taught two conflicting standards, but this thread is as good a place as any to point out that the advice men get isn't any better. The advice we get is generally limited to sexist generalizations about women by other men, bad pick-up tips, all the wrong lessons from fictional romance and a sweeping demonization of the male libido. It's not like a cumulative pile of nonsense results in any sort of lesson that makes sense.


Agree, and wrote a longer reply but it got eaten so let's just leave it at that. :)
 
2012-11-18 08:08:12 PM
no
i1156.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-18 08:08:54 PM

Gyrfalcon: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

Part of this whole ridiculous argument (which I read but didn't quote) has to do with the biomechanics of the sex act, completely separate from any notions of equality or who wants sex more or any of that higher-brain-function stuff. Women, by and large, (and wildly overgeneralizing) need more in the way of external stimuli to enjoy sex than men do. A quickie in the bathroom MIGHT be appealing under the right circumstances and with the right person--but most of us are going to think first of all of all the downsides of a public toilet: The smell, the graffiti, the various sharp corners our partner is inevitably going to bang us into, some asshole walking in right before we climax...It's not my idea of a great place to screw. It's not going to put me in the mood, you know?

So it's a reverse-overgeneralization. The idea that sex for men is entirely a physical function and all they want is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, usually without the thank you, and they'll do it anywhere, any time, with anything that can't get away. I suppose it's true that that's what they THINK about, but then a lot of women think about it too. It's what they DO that matters, and most men (and women) don't actually do that.


That's kind of self-fufilling isn't it? Women don't want to do it, so they just think about it. Men can't find women that want to do it, so they just think about it too.
 
2012-11-18 08:19:17 PM

NetOwl: No, your friends are not polite professionals.

The issue is not that you hide your lewd desires around women. It's that you have them in the first place. You don't actually have respect for these women; you just try to hide your lack of respect.

Men whose minds do not work tha way actually do exist, and I wouldn't be shocked if one or two of your friends disagreed with the group consensus on oral sex and sandwiches. They're pretending around you, not around the women.


There are very few men out there who would not enjoy the option to get sexual attention from every woman they meet.

You know ... the way most women enjoy the fact that men look at them

Ladies : You want a lesson in gender roles, Cross-dress as an ugly dude for a month. Not just going around in jeans and a t-shirt with a sports bra underneath (but with a little lip gloss, jewelry and makeup) but as a let-your-zits-hang-out dude.

Not only does nobody look at you - ever- but you are regularly bullied out of almost every advantage you might have. Whether you know it or not, You enjoy a premium of nice behavior just for having tits and not being ugly.

Most men barely , begrudgingly respect ANYONE. They are locked into a constant struggle on multiple levels for leinholds, ownership, possession, options and claims on everything and anything they see- and that includes women, desirable interpersonal roles, and prerogatives - just like you ladies do against each other.

White male privilege isn't an artifact that men are given. it's something they claw out of each other starting in second grade. If you know men not playing this game, then you know some pussy arse men.
 
2012-11-18 08:19:53 PM

Gyrfalcon: The idea that sex for men is entirely a physical function and all they want is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, usually without the thank you, and they'll do it anywhere, any time, with anything that can't get away. I suppose it's true that that's what they THINK about, but then a lot of women think about it too. It's what they DO that matters, and most men (and women) don't actually do that.


I'd argue that men only don't DO that because women won't.
Even if you eliminate the whole "dirty bathroom" factor, if a reasonably attractive woman asked 50 random guys if they would go home and have sex with her, she'd get 47 yesses, give or take 3. I'd wager that a reasonably attractive guy who did the same thing to 50 women would be lucky to get 1.
 
2012-11-18 08:26:35 PM

Gawdzila: BTW, these men seem to disagree with you.


If I was single, the only reasons I'd say "no" to such a proposition would be that I assumed it was a trick (for the very fact that women don't proposition men like that) or that she must be riddled with STDs if she just walks up to random dudes and asks for sex.

But honestly, especially if I was college age, I'd probably still say yes.
 
2012-11-18 08:35:10 PM

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: The idea that sex for men is entirely a physical function and all they want is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, usually without the thank you, and they'll do it anywhere, any time, with anything that can't get away. I suppose it's true that that's what they THINK about, but then a lot of women think about it too. It's what they DO that matters, and most men (and women) don't actually do that.

I'd argue that men only don't DO that because women won't.
Even if you eliminate the whole "dirty bathroom" factor, if a reasonably attractive woman asked 50 random guys if they would go home and have sex with her, she'd get 47 yesses, give or take 3. I'd wager that a reasonably attractive guy who did the same thing to 50 women would be lucky to get 1.


I bet you'd be wrong; but it would make a great research project for some grad student. Assuming similar age range and locale, I'd guess that the reasonably attractive guy would get a higher ratio (allowing for the fact that women have to be more careful about going home with strange men than the reverse).
 
2012-11-18 08:35:19 PM

Gawdzila: Even if you eliminate the whole "dirty bathroom" factor, if a reasonably attractive woman asked 50 random guys if they would go home and have sex with her, she'd get 47 yesses, give or take 3. I'd wager that a reasonably attractive guy who did the same thing to 50 women would be lucky to get 1.


THIS.

I think it's important that women understand something :

It's okay that you don't like to actually have lots of sex until you are old and baggy.

It's kind-of-okay that any of you who are halfway decent are increadible cockteasers for most of your attrractive life.

and it's kind-of-okay that you want all of your boyfriends to be above average.

But don't pretend that men and women are identical.
Don't pretend that you can't secure *A* penis faster than men can secure a vagina.
and Don't pretend that people aren't nice to you because you're a girl.

Don't pretend that all the things that come out of your positions of privilege - Misogyny, porn, rape and ludeness - are the fault of men alone. Men are what you as a population make us.
 
2012-11-18 08:43:04 PM

bearcats1983: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: MarkEC: The article says men are more interested in staying with one partner than having multiple partners. The title asks a completely different questing.
We want one partner who we can have sex with multiple times every day. It's only when she only wants it once a month that we look to supplementing her with another woman who wants it only once a month, and so on and so on. 

EIP in case of BIE

This. I used to think I had a problem with infidelity, but then I started dating a hot chick who is up for sex (or at least a bj) almost anytime. Now I rarely find myself even glancing at other women.

The saying "keep a man's balls empty and stomach full" is 100% accurate. I don't want for much if I'm having constant sex and being fed. It's just too bad a lot of women don't realize how easy it is to keep us around.


But it's not really just about keeping the guy happy. I can testify as a woman that having regular sex makes for a healthier relationship. I don't know if its a symptom or a cause, but I can tell things are more strained when it's been a while.
 
2012-11-18 09:03:27 PM

rubi_con_man:
Don't pretend that all the things that come out of your positions of privilege - Misogyny, porn, rape and ludeness - are the fault of men alone. Men are what you as a population make us.


I'm kinda with you on the porn and ludeness. I'm not with you on the Misogyny and rape. Rape is a power/violence item that I refuse to blame on Little Miss Blue Baller. A real man would just wander off and either take matters into his own hands or pay for it. If all of the sudden women wanted sex the exact amount that men wanted it, there would still be violence in the world.

/Because of religion of course
 
2012-11-18 09:09:44 PM
They didn't ask me.
 
2012-11-18 09:12:53 PM
The only reason I do anything at all is because of the pussy. If it's weren't for pussy I would be in the grave.

now that's obscure, even for Fark
 
2012-11-18 09:26:50 PM

Oh_Enough_Already: Women really don't even have a place in this discussion, any more than men have might discussing the physical or hormonal experience of pregnancy.

Why? Because they can never really know what it's like to be a male, any more so than men might be able to know what it's like being with child.

We can intellectualize it all we want, and pretend that we understand each other, at least as well as we can, but women really have no idea.

Ladies, the horniest you have ever been, say that one perfect afternoon in Cancun on spring break when you were 19, and a complete hard-body, and high on ecstasy after drinking margaritas all day with the sun and the sand and the buff guys everywhere you looked - that one perfect moment when you were JUST SO HORNY that you would have farked any single one of them right there, on the beach, in front of God and Jesus and everybody?

Yeah, that's how most men go through life, from dawn until dusk, from the moment their balls drop until the day that they do.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

We're not the same, ultimately, don't expect us to be different than who we are, or pretend you know what it's like.


What he said....
 
2012-11-18 09:31:57 PM
The psychologist who said this - Was she hot?
 
2012-11-18 09:41:06 PM

Gyrfalcon: I bet you'd be wrong; but it would make a great research project for some grad student. Assuming similar age range and locale, I'd guess that the reasonably attractive guy would get a higher ratio (allowing for the fact that women have to be more careful about going home with strange men than the reverse).


Well, you could watch the video I posted earlier, wherein they do exactly that, under those conditions.

SPOILER
.....
....
...
..
.
The guy nets zero hits, while the girl was batting almost a thousand.
 
2012-11-18 09:57:38 PM

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: I bet you'd be wrong; but it would make a great research project for some grad student. Assuming similar age range and locale, I'd guess that the reasonably attractive guy would get a higher ratio (allowing for the fact that women have to be more careful about going home with strange men than the reverse).

Well, you could watch the video I posted earlier, wherein they do exactly that, under those conditions.

SPOILER
.....
....
...
..
.
The guy nets zero hits, while the girl was batting almost a thousand.


Do you know why?

Because the woman will have 50 more offers before she goes to bed.

... and the Dudes won't.
 
2012-11-18 09:59:34 PM

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: I bet you'd be wrong; but it would make a great research project for some grad student. Assuming similar age range and locale, I'd guess that the reasonably attractive guy would get a higher ratio (allowing for the fact that women have to be more careful about going home with strange men than the reverse).

Well, you could watch the video I posted earlier, wherein they do exactly that, under those conditions.

SPOILER
.....
....
...
..
.
The guy nets zero hits, while the girl was batting almost a thousand.


"P***y cost money, d**k is free" - Chris Rock

Basically the guy was asking for money, while the woman was giving away $20s.
 
2012-11-18 10:08:55 PM

rubi_con_man: Gawdzila: Even if you eliminate the whole "dirty bathroom" factor, if a reasonably attractive woman asked 50 random guys if they would go home and have sex with her, she'd get 47 yesses, give or take 3. I'd wager that a reasonably attractive guy who did the same thing to 50 women would be lucky to get 1.

THIS.

I think it's important that women understand something :

It's okay that you don't like to actually have lots of sex until you are old and baggy.



Here's the thing... I wasn't alleging that women don't like lots of sex, and I don't actually think it's the case that only older women like sex. There are many young ladies who have a very sizable sexual appetite. What I was pointing out was more about the conditions that we place on our desires.

For men to desire sex the only condition that generally need filled is that we find our prospective partner to be sufficiently physically attractive. That is a pretty easy condition to meet for your average girl who is in decent shape.

Women's desire, though, comes about not so much by physical attraction but more due to personality. A boyfriend that she is head-over-heels for, or even just a charming guy who spent his evening at the bar giving her flattery and attention stands a pretty good chance of getting her all moist. A guy who just walks up and asks for a bang is going to get denied not because she doesn't like sex, but because he has just shown himself to not fit her standards for personality.

The TLDR is basically:
For men, desire is about physical attraction.
For women, desire is about charisma.
Since a pretty face takes less time and effort to show off than a sparkling personality, men's "desirability criteria" are easier to meet.
 
2012-11-18 10:09:08 PM

murdoch's_weeners: Forgot to add... another big part of why I'm skeptical is because I haven't found this to be true in my own experience. I've dated men, and married one, with a lot of complicated sexual hang-ups. When I get together for girls' nights with friends, we can *all* tell a lot of stories about men we've dated that have been neurotic about sex. But those men certainly don't share this in the public sphere - this is the kind of stuff only their girlfriends tend to know about. Again - I think it's the shaming factor - the harassment from other men.


THIS

Exactly matches my experience too. Actually it seems to me that after the initial hook-up, men are much LESS interested in sex than women are. It seems that for a woman things just get better and better the more sex she has, whereas once he's got laid he has achieved his main objective. So normally women go into this keep-him-interested routine. I assume that women are designed like this because she's unlikely to get pregnant from just a one-night thing, although it isn't conscious. Also possibly really is designed to make some sort of pair bonding happen. However, no matter how much farking does or doesn't happen, in the end it is usually the woman who ends things. My ex first pointed that out to me about 20 years ago - saying that men were the true romantics who end up with broken hearts. Experience has bourne that statement out since.

Also there are a LOT of men around with various neurosis or sexual dysfunctions of one kind or another, never mind the sex drive. I think that was the original point I was answering but it bears repeating. Poor things. So much can go wrong. So much pressure to perform.

I gave up (consciously) on the whole idea of doing anything to keep men interested quite a while ago, and I didn't really want them doing anything on purpose just to keep me interested either (too many bad long term relationships). To my surprise a lot of people seem glad to have the pressure off, and it doesn't affect the length of the relationship or the emotions involved. It DOES however mean a lot less sex. Which goes to show just how much a woman's input affects things.

All this is irrelevant now, I haven't had a relationship at all in a while and I don't expect to find anyone again. I live in the middle of nowhere and I am pretty old. And no, I don't recommend doing what I did. I am not a happy person. It just gave an interesting insight into the dynamics of human sexuality/relationships at the time.

Also, never did buy the thing that men think about sex more than women.
 
2012-11-18 10:11:16 PM
Margaret White: I should've killed myself when he put it in me. After the first time, before we were married, Ralph promised never again. He promised, and I believed him. But sin never dies. Sin never dies. At first, it was all right. We lived sinlessly. We slept in the same bed, but we never did it. And then, that night, I saw him looking down at me that way. We got down on our knees to pray for strength. I smelled the whiskey on his breath. Then he took me. He took me, with the stink of filthy roadhouse whiskey on his breath, and I liked it. I liked it! With all that dirty touching of his hands all over me. I should've given you to God when you were born, but I was weak and backsliding, and now the devil has come home. We'll pray.
Carrie: Yes.
Margaret White: We'll pray. We'll pray. We'll pray for the last time. We'll pray
 
2012-11-18 10:15:43 PM

vodka: The only reason I do anything at all is because of the pussy. If it's weren't for pussy I would be in the grave.

now that's obscure, even for Fark


I'm goin' with 'Bulworth'..
 
2012-11-18 10:18:39 PM

DerAppie: aka_mrcam: If you exclude gay sex, the number of sexual partners of men and women are always equal.

On average it is equal, yet the number of people who put out doesn't need to match.

In a group of 10 man and 10 women you'd still average the same number of unique partners in the group if only 2 women had sex while all men had sex (or vice versa1). Your statement proofs nothing about the differences in sexuality of one group over the other.

/1)Yeah, right
//Averages suck as a statistical measure
///1 person scores a 10, 9 people score a 2, 90% of the group scored below average


Point taken, ya gotta count the sluts.
But I was thinking more along the lines of how people respond to surveys perception. If you were to survey those 10 people and add up the total partner for men and women. I doubt the numbers would be the same and that the mens number would be higher and the womans number would be lower. Even though we know the numbers must be equal unless dudes are counting goats or other dudes.
 
2012-11-18 10:27:32 PM

sporkme: no
[i1156.photobucket.com image 580x354]


I love lamp!
2.bp.blogspot.com
/Hot, like that sexy, sexy lamp
 
2012-11-18 11:02:43 PM

murdoch's_weeners:
Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?
And that you think this is normal behavior?


Stop here, because you really have no idea. The only criteria would be she should at least be as attractive as me give or take a couple points and doesn't smell terrible. If a guy went up to random women doing that, even an attractive one, he has a much better chance of being kicked out or probably arrested than scoring.
 
2012-11-18 11:50:45 PM

browntimmy: murdoch's_weeners:
Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?
And that you think this is normal behavior?

Stop here, because you really have no idea. The only criteria would be she should at least be as attractive as me give or take a couple points and doesn't smell terrible. If a guy went up to random women doing that, even an attractive one, he has a much better chance of being kicked out or probably arrested than scoring.


Pretty much this. Since i was 13, my brain has made a yes/no decision on desirability to fark on each women i've seen. Not met, not had a conversation with, simply seen. nothing taught me this, it just occurs. If a woman i thought was attractive came up to me and said, "i want to fark you, right now." i would, simple as that.
 
2012-11-19 12:30:39 AM

Moonk:

browntimmy: murdoch's_weeners:
Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?
And that you think this is normal behavior?

Stop here, because you really have no idea. The only criteria would be she should at least be as attractive as me give or take a couple points and doesn't smell terrible.

Pretty much this. Since i was 13, my brain has made a yes/no decision on desirability to fark on each women i've seen. Not met, not had a conversation with, simply seen. nothing taught me this, it just occurs.


Yeah, me too. For me it is part and parcel with being male.
In fact I don't even have the option; the process of doing it is barely even conscious.
I suspect women evaluate body language the same way.
 
2012-11-19 12:47:08 AM

Moonk: browntimmy: murdoch's_weeners:
Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?
And that you think this is normal behavior?

Stop here, because you really have no idea. The only criteria would be she should at least be as attractive as me give or take a couple points and doesn't smell terrible. If a guy went up to random women doing that, even an attractive one, he has a much better chance of being kicked out or probably arrested than scoring.

Pretty much this. Since i was 13, my brain has made a yes/no decision on desirability to fark on each women i've seen. Not met, not had a conversation with, simply seen. nothing taught me this, it just occurs. If a woman i thought was attractive came up to me and said, "i want to fark you, right now." i would, simple as that.


Pretty much.

The only time I'd say no to a random cutie who came up to me and said "do me now" would be if I were in a relationship and didn't want to risk messing that up. Of course, that's never happened in real life, but a boy can dream.
 
2012-11-19 01:38:22 AM

bearcats1983: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: MarkEC: The article says men are more interested in staying with one partner than having multiple partners. The title asks a completely different questing.
We want one partner who we can have sex with multiple times every day. It's only when she only wants it once a month that we look to supplementing her with another woman who wants it only once a month, and so on and so on. 

EIP in case of BIE

This. I used to think I had a problem with infidelity, but then I started dating a hot chick who is up for sex (or at least a bj) almost anytime. Now I rarely find myself even glancing at other women.

The saying "keep a man's balls empty and stomach full" is 100% accurate. I don't want for much if I'm having constant sex and being fed. It's just too bad a lot of women don't realize how easy it is to keep us around.


or maybe they don't want to keep you around.
 
2012-11-19 01:55:41 AM
Simply think of this.

Most of the female faces of meth are prostitutes and men pay to fark them.

Men like to stick their dicks in things and it appears they really don't care what, but that does not mean they disrespect women it is just that sex is fun.

The problem isn't men it is how society makes women feel about sex. Men have to hide how they feel because women have been told it is wrong to just want sex or to be sexual and if you think otherwise then ask yourself why do girls who have flashed their boobs on facebook become so distraught to the point of suicide because they are worried who will see it. While a boy would show the inside of his a'hole and not give a fark.
 
2012-11-19 08:22:25 AM
Huh? Sorry, I was fantasizing about a sweet, hot, psychologist.... What were we talking about?
Oh, boobs...
 
2012-11-19 08:52:48 AM

doosh: The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]

That it was composed by a woman borne of her fantasized view of men?


The predatory embodiment of the Female Gaze.
 
2012-11-19 09:02:01 AM

Gawdzila: Women's desire, though, comes about not so much by physical attraction but more due to personality.


BWA HA HA HA HA HA HOO BOY. . . oh, wait, you're serious. Let me laugh harder.

HAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!

Women are every bit as shallow as men. Probably even more so. Their recent cultural "empowerment" didn't coincide with an explosion of vapid celebrity consumerism; it led to it. Sure they wind up getting sucked into celebrity gossip and all that, but it's the youthful faces, paparazzi and waxed abs that get them interested; any interest in personality after that is superficially motivated, however dedicated. Women are the ultimate projectionists. There are various motivations for rape -- none of them justifiable mind you -- but feminist literature invariably portrays it as a power trip. Take away the violence element, though -- where men have an advantage -- and it's women who want power, and they'll never say yes to sex without it. If you want sex from a woman, you'll have to take it, earn it or pay for it. (Women think rape is about power because the "take it" option is a clear loss of power on their part, regardless of what the guy was actually thinking.) The only other way to bypass it is to overwhelm them with a show of fame and/or money, which tells the female lizard brain to go, "This is an opportunity of a lifetime to make successful babbies, picky cocktease sequence override initiated." Some guys are aware of this and try to bluff their way through by freely spending in the open (this can backfire as savvy girls will exploit this); others just try to get the girl drunk. Others use emotional abuse (or target victims thereof), as low self-esteem can significantly weaken this mechanism. But a successful seduction starts with impressing the girl.

If a guy just walks up to a woman and asks for sex, she'll say no not out of a lack of desire for sex or any interest in "personality" (snicker), it's because the sex isn't being initiated on her terms. Women have one-night stands and carefree flings all the time, but you are expected to play the game, and this expectation is so strong -- an instinct, really -- that failure to comply is a biological turn-off (what they call "creepy"). This does make sense from an evolutionary standpoint; breeding is downright dangerous to women, so a defense mechanism of being picky over mates will be stronger than the desire to breed unless desperation overwhelms both. A guy openly asking for sex signals he's either a risky provider or a loser, and women have no biological incentive to breed with either. Women evolved to be choosy because they're the ones most vulnerable to any negative consequences of a bad lay.

The exceptions, of course, are people who have personalities to begin with, but it's a given that those with intelligence are less likely to act like monkeys in a mating dance. Guys are all horny, but smart ones know how to control it into a positive thing. Women are all choosy, but smart ones know how to manage their expectations and give a guy a chance -- or even a good time.
 
2012-11-19 09:37:18 AM
This thread, which I'm halfway through reading, is depressing. No, not all men are dogs. I wouldn't fark some random girl in a bathroom is she asked. I don't sit around with other guys talking about who I'd like to do what to, and the guys I hang around with don't do that either.

I have a very active libido, but that doesn't mean that I'm looking to stick it into whatever hole presents itself. I've been involved with a woman with a low sex drive. At the end we only had sex once every 2 months or so. But I didn't pressure her nor did I ever consider cheating. Sometimes I'd try to get something going but stopped when I was told no. I was frustrated as fark by the end, but I remained loyal.

Some of us are a genuine "nice guy". We're just not as vocal as the alternative. And society shunning us for not being mansluts doesn't help either.
 
2012-11-19 11:41:39 AM

CtrlAltDestroy: This thread, which I'm halfway through reading, is depressing. No, not all men are dogs. I wouldn't fark some random girl in a bathroom is she asked. I don't sit around with other guys talking about who I'd like to do what to, and the guys I hang around with don't do that either.

I have a very active libido, but that doesn't mean that I'm looking to stick it into whatever hole presents itself. I've been involved with a woman with a low sex drive. At the end we only had sex once every 2 months or so. But I didn't pressure her nor did I ever consider cheating. Sometimes I'd try to get something going but stopped when I was told no. I was frustrated as fark by the end, but I remained loyal.

Some of us are a genuine "nice guy". We're just not as vocal as the alternative. And society shunning us for not being mansluts doesn't help either.


So sorry for the life you're forced to lead. Good luck out there...
 
2012-11-19 12:22:46 PM

CtrlAltDestroy: This thread, which I'm halfway through reading, is depressing. No, not all men are dogs. I wouldn't fark some random girl in a bathroom is she asked. I don't sit around with other guys talking about who I'd like to do what to, and the guys I hang around with don't do that either.

I have a very active libido, but that doesn't mean that I'm looking to stick it into whatever hole presents itself. I've been involved with a woman with a low sex drive. At the end we only had sex once every 2 months or so. But I didn't pressure her nor did I ever consider cheating. Sometimes I'd try to get something going but stopped when I was told no. I was frustrated as fark by the end, but I remained loyal.

Some of us are a genuine "nice guy". We're just not as vocal as the alternative. And society shunning us for not being mansluts doesn't help either.


Your comment is more depressing than this entire thread. So you have a very active libido but were content to stay in a sexless relationship because you consider yourself "such a nice guy". The woman you were with probably had such a low sex drive because she thought you were a pussy.
 
2012-11-19 12:33:08 PM

CtrlAltDestroy:
I have a very active libido, but that doesn't mean that I'm looking to stick it into whatever hole presents itself. I've been involved with a woman with a low sex drive. At the end we only had sex once every 2 months or so. But I didn't pressure her nor did I ever consider cheating. Sometimes I'd try to get something going but stopped when I was told no. I was frustrated as fark by the end, but I remained loyal.




See, that's the thing. If your positions were reversed, she wouldn't be frustrated as fark by the end. She'd be fine and happy. In fact there are studies showing that the longer women go without sex the less they desire it. There are also studies showing that men desire it more, and the lack of "release" will actually change their attitude.
 
2012-11-19 03:16:21 PM

DerAppie: aka_mrcam: If you exclude gay sex, the number of sexual partners of men and women are always equal.

On average it is equal, yet the number of people who put out doesn't need to match.

In a group of 10 man and 10 women you'd still average the same number of unique partners in the group if only 2 women had sex while all men had sex (or vice versa1). Your statement proofs nothing about the differences in sexuality of one group over the other.

/1)Yeah, right
//Averages suck as a statistical measure
///1 person scores a 10, 9 people score a 2, 90% of the group scored below average


Not sure where I am on the scale, but my hubby thinks I'm a 13 LOL
 
2012-11-19 03:20:37 PM
You all have seen Keanu Reeves, right?

There is a reason women are considered predators...he is HOT.....clothed or naked.

*sighs*
 
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