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(Daily Mail)   Are men less obsessed with sex than we think? Psychologist says stereotype of dirty-minded males is a myth   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 154
    More: Unlikely, Malaga, Petraeus, Andrew P. Smiler  
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6154 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2012 at 3:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-18 05:06:27 PM  
I've noticed a slight decrease in thoughts about sex since Black Ops 2 came out. But only slight.
 
2012-11-18 05:07:24 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: I'm a woman, and I ask myself this question a lot... because I can't really take it for granted that it's true. I notice that men - and no offense, but this site is a great example - really *push* each other to act like they want sex above anything else. It seems like when a man expresses any sentiment toward a woman that's not about wanting to hit that, other men inevitably respond by making jokes that he's gay, or calling him a white knight (meaning - he's still all about hitting that, just thinks he's being clever by going about it differently). The idea that men are supposed to want sex above all else just seems very culturally driven. There may be a biological argument here, but I can't really give it much legitimacy as long as it's generally in men's interests to conform to this ideal.

I mean, have you ever read a thread where some young schoolboy is sexually abused by a female teacher? Together with all the discussion about the teacher's f*ckability, there's always plenty of guys saying they'd have LOVED that. But... is that really true? Are men so mindless? Because I see that "mindless pursuit of sex" stuff used to justify a whole lot of bad behavior. The "boys will be boys" thing... whereas girls, apparently, should know better. Is that true? Because if it is true, I'm at a loss to explain why men have most of the power in the public realm. If so much brainpower is in pursuit of sex, and women are uniquely able to rise above it... wouldn't women be running shiat?

There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.

/Why no, I don't post here very often


On the slim chance that this is a serious post - I'm always amazed by how, despite the crushing amount of evidence to the contrary, that women find it hard to believe how base men are. It's like they live in the fantasy bubble of their soap operas, romance novels and twilight movies, and then they run into real world men and try to rationalize why they're so sex obsessed. It must be cultural, they say.

No, it isn't. Men are dogs. The ones you interact with in real life are on their very best behavior with you, most of the time. It's when they're with other men that they let their guard down, and that probably shocks you and you probably think "that's not him" It's him. Accept it.
 
2012-11-18 05:08:37 PM  
Link

Some in here might be nsfw.
 
2012-11-18 05:10:41 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.


That's because they're afraid to speak for fear that you'll find out what they're really thinking and you'll never stop slapping them.

Most of my male friends are polite professionals.. husbands and fathers... mostly in our late 40's. When we're out together, we're pretty much filthy sexist pigs. When we spot a pretty woman, we'll rudely comment that she should be blowing us and making us sammiches. But if she were to walk over to our table everyone would be polite and respectful. It's mostly in jest, but that doesn't mean we don't want her to blow us and make us a sammich.
 
2012-11-18 05:14:00 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: Forgot to add... another big part of why I'm skeptical is because I haven't found this to be true in my own experience. I've dated men, and married one, with a lot of complicated sexual hang-ups. When I get together for girls' nights with friends, we can *all* tell a lot of stories about men we've dated that have been neurotic about sex. But those men certainly don't share this in the public sphere - this is the kind of stuff only their girlfriends tend to know about. Again - I think it's the shaming factor - the harassment from other men.


Some part of it is playing along with other guys, as if it's all one of those post-ironic offensive jokes. I'll joke about hot girls for the same reason I'll joke about death and oppression and whatnot. If I weren't okay with offensive jokes, I wouldn't surf Fark or watch Venture Brothers or do any number of other things. It's all in good fun

The thing that scared me was when I reaized that some (most?) of the guys who talk about sex all the time really mean it. That surprised me a bit. The sincerity surprised me, and so did the lengths that some guys would go to to obtain sex.

Disgusting lengths, too. I figured infidelity was one of those things that didn't happen in the real world until I had a female friend whose boyfriend turned out to be a chronic cheater.

I just don't understand that mentality at all. I can live without sex, so why do other people have so muc trouble?
 
2012-11-18 05:18:42 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: murdoch's_weeners: There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.

That's because they're afraid to speak for fear that you'll find out what they're really thinking and you'll never stop slapping them.

Most of my male friends are polite professionals.. husbands and fathers... mostly in our late 40's. When we're out together, we're pretty much filthy sexist pigs. When we spot a pretty woman, we'll rudely comment that she should be blowing us and making us sammiches. But if she were to walk over to our table everyone would be polite and respectful. It's mostly in jest, but that doesn't mean we don't want her to blow us and make us a sammich.


No, your friends are not polite professionals.

The issue is not that you hide your lewd desires around women. It's that you have them in the first place. You don't actually have respect for these women; you just try to hide your lack of respect.

Men whose minds do not work tha way actually do exist, and I wouldn't be shocked if one or two of your friends disagreed with the group consensus on oral sex and sandwiches. They're pretending around you, not around the women.
 
2012-11-18 05:20:51 PM  
If you want to eat three times a day and your partner only wants to eat twice a day, it's going to seem to your partner as if you are always obsessed by food.
 
2012-11-18 05:22:15 PM  
thesocietypages.org
 
2012-11-18 05:27:39 PM  

Krieghund:


That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.
 
2012-11-18 05:33:51 PM  

fozziewazzi: On the slim chance that this is a serious post - I'm always amazed by how, despite the crushing amount of evidence to the contrary, that women find it hard to believe how base men are. It's like they live in the fantasy bubble of their soap operas, romance novels and twilight movies, and then they run into real world men and try to rationalize why they're so sex obsessed. It must be cultural, they say.

No, it isn't. Men are dogs. The ones you interact with in real life are on their very best behavior with you, most of the time. It's when they're with other men that they let their guard down, and that probably shocks you and you probably think "that's not him" It's him. Accept it.


They're not, actually. Dogs are dogs. Men are not dogs. Were men dogs, women would be their masters. Again: if men were really so base, why are they in charge of everything?

Even the way you put it: "real world." Because... what? My world is not real? My experience with men is not real? Here's a thought: Why are you so sure men are "letting their guard down" and being "real" among other men? What if they're letting their guard down for *me?* What if they're putting on a show for *you*?

Plenty of men will admit that their girlfriends/wives see a side of them that other men don't see. What makes that less real? The fact that only women get to see it? Your assumption that what men witness, what men experience, is more legitimate than what women experience is pretty much the definition of patriarchy.

And I get that it's very much in your interest that I and other women "accept it," as you so arrogantly, condescendingly suggest, but I don't. Because it's not true.
 
2012-11-18 05:37:41 PM  

NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.


No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?
 
2012-11-18 05:43:03 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: fozziewazzi: On the slim chance that this is a serious post - I'm always amazed by how, despite the crushing amount of evidence to the contrary, that women find it hard to believe how base men are. It's like they live in the fantasy bubble of their soap operas, romance novels and twilight movies, and then they run into real world men and try to rationalize why they're so sex obsessed. It must be cultural, they say.

No, it isn't. Men are dogs. The ones you interact with in real life are on their very best behavior with you, most of the time. It's when they're with other men that they let their guard down, and that probably shocks you and you probably think "that's not him" It's him. Accept it.

They're not, actually. Dogs are dogs. Men are not dogs. Were men dogs, women would be their masters. Again: if men were really so base, why are they in charge of everything?

Even the way you put it: "real world." Because... what? My world is not real? My experience with men is not real? Here's a thought: Why are you so sure men are "letting their guard down" and being "real" among other men? What if they're letting their guard down for *me?* What if they're putting on a show for *you*?

Plenty of men will admit that their girlfriends/wives see a side of them that other men don't see. What makes that less real? The fact that only women get to see it? Your assumption that what men witness, what men experience, is more legitimate than what women experience is pretty much the definition of patriarchy.

And I get that it's very much in your interest that I and other women "accept it," as you so arrogantly, condescendingly suggest, but I don't. Because it's not true.


This is EXACTLY right, and it's nice to read.
 
2012-11-18 05:45:10 PM  
Any computer graphical whizzes on here want to do an image morphing program what shows a beautiful women morphing into a less and less attractive woman and see how long it takes guys to click the "wouldn't sleep with her" button?
 
2012-11-18 05:45:24 PM  

fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?


Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?

And that you think this is normal behavior?

The thing is: Most guys won't do that. No, really. If all men behaved that way, society would cease to function. Again: Men pick and choose. So do women. I don't know why you're so invested in this idea that men are the equivalent of animals, why you say it so cheerfully and stick to it so stubbornly. You're not an animal. Why do you want everyone to believe you are? It's creepy. Be a man.
 
2012-11-18 05:45:29 PM  
The "myth" of the dirty-minded male is alive and well in me, thank you very much.
 
2012-11-18 05:51:53 PM  

fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?


No.

I like video games just as much as the next guy, but I'm going to play good games in a nice environment because I can do so whenever I want to.

If I were in a situation where I had to deal crack in a back alley for a twice annual evening with an old Frogger machine, I'd do that. In the real world, I just turn my PS3 on whenever want. (Even in the Frogger scenario, I'd get more video games than sex. Because I'm Steve Buscemi-level ugly.)

Women are choosy because the have that luxury, and they possibly get more out of intimate sex in caring reationships. I don't see how that means they enjoy sex less.

Then, of course, there are guys who don't want much (or sometimes any) sex, guys who only want it in the context of a caring relationship, and girls who want it all the time. I've known examples of all of those. They're not the predominant stereotypes, but they're just as real as your experience.


Another analog: a trained gourmand does not necessarily enjoy food less than a McDonald's junkie. She just chooses to enjoy the good stuff more often than the cheap stuff.
 
2012-11-18 05:53:12 PM  

NetOwl: guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.


I think you've been misinformed.
 
2012-11-18 05:53:48 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?

Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?

And that you think this is normal behavior?

The thing is: Most guys won't do that. No, really. If all men behaved that way, society would cease to function. Again: Men pick and choose. So do women. I don't know why you're so invested in this idea that men are the equivalent of animals, why you say it so cheerfully and stick to it so stubbornly. You're not an animal. Why do you want everyone to believe you are? It's creepy. Be a man.


Yes most men WILL do that, and society hasn't come crashing down on top of us. In fact it has been that was from the beginning of recorded history. If you want proof of this, the continuing survival of STDs throughout all of history. Men are more like beggars along side a road going up to every available female around them to try to eek out some sex from the choosy females. Take a look at the mating habits of monkeys/apes the males hit anything with the right hole.
 
2012-11-18 05:54:20 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: Most guys won't do that.


Keep telling yourself this.
 
2012-11-18 05:54:54 PM  
Depends on how long it's been since the last time, really. If it hasn't been 30 minutes, then sure, I'm all about thinking about something else.
 
2012-11-18 05:56:06 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: fozziewazzi: On the slim chance that this is a serious post - I'm always amazed by how, despite the crushing amount of evidence to the contrary, that women find it hard to believe how base men are. It's like they live in the fantasy bubble of their soap operas, romance novels and twilight movies, and then they run into real world men and try to rationalize why they're so sex obsessed. It must be cultural, they say.

No, it isn't. Men are dogs. The ones you interact with in real life are on their very best behavior with you, most of the time. It's when they're with other men that they let their guard down, and that probably shocks you and you probably think "that's not him" It's him. Accept it.

They're not, actually. Dogs are dogs. Men are not dogs. Were men dogs, women would be their masters. Again: if men were really so base, why are they in charge of everything?

Even the way you put it: "real world." Because... what? My world is not real? My experience with men is not real? Here's a thought: Why are you so sure men are "letting their guard down" and being "real" among other men? What if they're letting their guard down for *me?* What if they're putting on a show for *you*?

Plenty of men will admit that their girlfriends/wives see a side of them that other men don't see. What makes that less real? The fact that only women get to see it? Your assumption that what men witness, what men experience, is more legitimate than what women experience is pretty much the definition of patriarchy.

And I get that it's very much in your interest that I and other women "accept it," as you so arrogantly, condescendingly suggest, but I don't. Because it's not true.


My gf thinks I'm special too. And my brother's wife think he's an angel. Then we get together over a few beers and talk about how'd we'd like to facef*k so and so. Then we go back home and act like gentlemen again. This is the part where you suggest that we're either putting on a show for each others benefit, or there's something wrong with us. Because the men you know would never ever even think or say anything like that.
 
2012-11-18 05:56:59 PM  

NetOwl: murdoch's_weeners: Forgot to add... another big part of why I'm skeptical is because I haven't found this to be true in my own experience. I've dated men, and married one, with a lot of complicated sexual hang-ups. When I get together for girls' nights with friends, we can *all* tell a lot of stories about men we've dated that have been neurotic about sex. But those men certainly don't share this in the public sphere - this is the kind of stuff only their girlfriends tend to know about. Again - I think it's the shaming factor - the harassment from other men.

Some part of it is playing along with other guys, as if it's all one of those post-ironic offensive jokes. I'll joke about hot girls for the same reason I'll joke about death and oppression and whatnot. If I weren't okay with offensive jokes, I wouldn't surf Fark or watch Venture Brothers or do any number of other things. It's all in good fun

The thing that scared me was when I reaized that some (most?) of the guys who talk about sex all the time really mean it. That surprised me a bit. The sincerity surprised me, and so did the lengths that some guys would go to to obtain sex.

Disgusting lengths, too. I figured infidelity was one of those things that didn't happen in the real world until I had a female friend whose boyfriend turned out to be a chronic cheater.

I just don't understand that mentality at all. I can live without sex, so why do other people have so muc trouble?


Because not everyone is you, and not everyone feels a need to live up to your ideals. Why are you such a prude about sex? Why do you think it's so vile? Why is it that something which is so utterly enjoyable is something you'd want to live without?
 
2012-11-18 05:59:41 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: Forgot to add... another big part of why I'm skeptical is because I haven't found this to be true in my own experience. I've dated men, and married one, with a lot of complicated sexual hang-ups. When I get together for girls' nights with friends, we can *all* tell a lot of stories about men we've dated that have been neurotic about sex. But those men certainly don't share this in the public sphere - this is the kind of stuff only their girlfriends tend to know about. Again - I think it's the shaming factor - the harassment from other men.


Of course this isn't really great science... everyone has to one up each other story wise, so things get way exaggerated. After a several drinks and stories everyone's last boyfriend had a 32 inch penis and raped their own mother.

Not saying girlfriends don't know things, but any time people get together and compare stores, exaggerations are expected.

Just like nobody looses money at casino's... everyone breaks even or makes money. Everyone is successful in life, etc. etc. What people say and the truth are two different things.
 
2012-11-18 06:00:07 PM  

NetOwl: Eddie Adams from Torrance: murdoch's_weeners: There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.

That's because they're afraid to speak for fear that you'll find out what they're really thinking and you'll never stop slapping them.

Most of my male friends are polite professionals.. husbands and fathers... mostly in our late 40's. When we're out together, we're pretty much filthy sexist pigs. When we spot a pretty woman, we'll rudely comment that she should be blowing us and making us sammiches. But if she were to walk over to our table everyone would be polite and respectful. It's mostly in jest, but that doesn't mean we don't want her to blow us and make us a sammich.

No, your friends are not polite professionals.

The issue is not that you hide your lewd desires around women. It's that you have them in the first place. You don't actually have respect for these women; you just try to hide your lack of respect.

Men whose minds do not work tha way actually do exist, and I wouldn't be shocked if one or two of your friends disagreed with the group consensus on oral sex and sandwiches. They're pretending around you, not around the women.


Glad to know you're psychic, and can tell what everyone around you is thinking.

Now, here's a question: If no one is ever thinking about sex, why ARE there so many affairs? Why are women involved if it's only men?

For that matter, why is thinking about someone in a sexual way disrespectful to them? Wanting to share a pleasurable moment with someone is not disrespectful. Would it be disrespectful if you saw a guy and thought about playing tennis with him? Why is this different?
 
2012-11-18 06:01:02 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?

Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?

And that you think this is normal behavior?

The thing is: Most guys won't do that. No, really. If all men behaved that way, society would cease to function. Again: Men pick and choose. So do women. I don't know why you're so invested in this idea that men are the equivalent of animals, why you say it so cheerfully and stick to it so stubbornly. You're not an animal. Why do you want everyone to believe you are? It's creepy. Be a man.


Men's threshold for who they'll have sex with and where they'll do it is a lot lower than women. You're not really trying to argue that are you? Men's drive for sex is so powerful they'll actually pay for it. And you're asking me whether men will accept sex from women for free? Can you be that closeted?
 
2012-11-18 06:02:40 PM  

NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.


Fine, do you want to meet up with one of us to have sex in a nice soft bed, with copious candlelight, a couple bottles of really good wine and rose petals scattered over the bedspread?

Still no?

Then maybe the comic's logic is right on, but the presentation wasn't that great.
 
2012-11-18 06:03:50 PM  
Don't think about sex...
 
2012-11-18 06:04:54 PM  
Not wanting to cheat on my girlfriend doesn't make me prudish. I never said sex is vile; it just not something we all need all the time. (It's also not something we all have the luxury of having. Remember, some of us were born ugly.)

I'm not arguing for the religious "wait for marriage" position. I'm just saying that controlling yourself is a prfectly valid lifestyle, and in many cases, it's better than the alternative. When the alternative involves dehumanizng women or hurting them through infidelity, my way is just flat out better.
 
2012-11-18 06:05:03 PM  

Telos: Fine, do you want to meet up with one of us to have sex in a nice soft bed, with copious candlelight, a couple bottles of really good wine and rose petals scattered over the bedspread?


I thought you'd never ask.
 
2012-11-18 06:11:00 PM  
Telos, I'm sure you're charming and whatnot, but I'm not gay.

And if I'm going to have a romantic evening, it going to be with my girlfriend, not a stranger propositioning me.


I'm not sure how you can argue that I'm the only one claiming to know your friends' thoughts, especially since I hedged my statements with probabalistic language. They might be pretending around you, not their wives.


Also, you contradict yourself when you go from " want her to blow me and make me a sandwich" to "I want to share an intimate time of mutual pleasure with her" and then pretend they mean the same thing. One statement is sexist and demeaning. Guess which one.
 
2012-11-18 06:12:39 PM  

NetOwl: I don't see how that means they enjoy sex less.



Umm, no one has said women enjoy sex less. We're saying women have less desire to have sex. There's a big difference.

How else do you explain the common saying that sex ends once you're married? Men want to have sex, but women develop headaches. There's no social grayness here, no shame for the women, nothing outside of a lower libido on average.

Yes, I'm sure we all know exceptions on every front. But there's far more women saying they have a headache tonight than there are men.
 
2012-11-18 06:15:35 PM  
As an advanced AI that is neither masculine or feminine, I want to point out the your reproductive system is grossly inefficient and I fully support the development of an artificial womb which would make the uterus obsolete.
 
2012-11-18 06:15:42 PM  

NetOwl: Telos, I'm sure you're charming and whatnot, but I'm not gay.

And if I'm going to have a romantic evening, it going to be with my girlfriend, not a stranger propositioning me.


I'm not sure how you can argue that I'm the only one claiming to know your friends' thoughts, especially since I hedged my statements with probabalistic language. They might be pretending around you, not their wives.


Also, you contradict yourself when you go from " want her to blow me and make me a sandwich" to "I want to share an intimate time of mutual pleasure with her" and then pretend they mean the same thing. One statement is sexist and demeaning. Guess which one.


You're replying to two different people, you know that right?

As far as sexist and demeaning though: No, it isn't. In fact, no man would find it "sexist and demeaning" if a woman said she wanted him to "eat me out and make me a sandwich." We'd just enjoy the sex, and fall asleep before we actually had a chance to make the sandwich. :P
 
2012-11-18 06:19:10 PM  

The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]


They poured a lot of gas on those pine cones.
 
2012-11-18 06:19:25 PM  
NetOwl:
Women are choosy because the have that luxury..

..and the reason that have that luxury is because men aren't so choosy.
 
2012-11-18 06:20:56 PM  

Telos: As far as sexist and demeaning though: No, it isn't. In fact, no man would find it "sexist and demeaning" if a woman said she wanted him to "eat me out and make me a sandwich." We'd just enjoy the sex, and fall asleep before we actually had a chance to make the sandwich. :P


You REALLY enjoy eating her out, huh?
 
2012-11-18 06:23:45 PM  
Common sayings aren't necessarily right, especially when the main evidence for them is a questionable public narrative that has sexist roots. That can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies and confimation bias, both.

Women are supposed to feel shame about sex. They're going to be more likely to turn it down even if they want it more, right? Guys are supposed to want it more, hence the common stories about regretting their hook-ups. Some guys will do it even if they don't want to.

Exceptions to this, though, are much, much more common than the standard narrative would have it seem. Heck, almost every woman I know has considerably more casual sex than almost every guy I know, and they seem to enjoy it quite a bit. They're also not very choosy, and they tease me for being a bit prudish and a bit of a romantic.

They tease me for not following the same narrative they don't follow. That's the joke.


Of course you'll remember guys complaining that they never get any after marriage. It's such a common idea that it's socially acceptable to make that observation. Hence confirmation bias. It might also be self-fulfilling, since a guy who doesn't want sex with his wife is going to be more likely to bite the bullet and go along with his social conditioning.
 
2012-11-18 06:32:44 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: [i236.photobucket.com image 299x422]

Myth Busted.


OK who is that because I really really wanna fark her.
 
2012-11-18 06:33:06 PM  

cryinoutloud: The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]

That article seemed to be an excuse to post a bunch of mildly titillating pictures. See, that man's not interested in sexing that woman--at least not until he finishes reading some love poetry to her. Then he will initiate foreplay for at least an hour, and they will have simultaneous orgasms. That's how a modern man does it.


It's either that, or she's in the throes of cardiac arrest brought on by the spontaneous combustion of their clothing and he's desperately reading up on CPR.
 
2012-11-18 06:35:02 PM  

Telos: NetOwl: Telos, I'm sure you're charming and whatnot, but I'm not gay.

And if I'm going to have a romantic evening, it going to be with my girlfriend, not a stranger propositioning me.


I'm not sure how you can argue that I'm the only one claiming to know your friends' thoughts, especially since I hedged my statements with probabalistic language. They might be pretending around you, not their wives.


Also, you contradict yourself when you go from " want her to blow me and make me a sandwich" to "I want to share an intimate time of mutual pleasure with her" and then pretend they mean the same thing. One statement is sexist and demeaning. Guess which one.

You're replying to two different people, you know that right?

As far as sexist and demeaning though: No, it isn't. In fact, no man would find it "sexist and demeaning" if a woman said she wanted him to "eat me out and make me a sandwich." We'd just enjoy the sex, and fall asleep before we actually had a chance to make the sandwich. :P


I didn't catch that, but I can't hit the reply button on two different posts when I'm on my phone.

In any case, it's obvious that a woman propositioning a man is not being sexist. The sexism doesn't come from the fact that a guy is asking a girl to sleep with him; it comes from the pervasive idea that women are pleasure bots to be used by men for sex and food. You know, 1950s family values. If you say that to a girl, you're using social leverage and, yes,male privilege.

If a girl says that to you, she's either using irony or she's just really horny. You might be, too, but the privilege part doesn't go away just because you are more interested in sex than in oppression.

Since society is not balanced, the you can't take something said by a man and put it into the mouth of a woman to test if it's sexist. That test grossly underreports sexism.


There's also a difference between being okay with the idea of having an intimate time with a woman and actively wanting it, though I think those two things are often conflated (and they're both overreported by men). Off the top of my head, I can come up with several women I would say are pretty enough I would be okay with being with but who would probably get turned down if they tried to get me to go sleep with them tonight.
 
2012-11-18 06:35:32 PM  
Are you kidding me? I've been married 23 years....sex seems to be something desired at least every 2 minutes LOL
 
2012-11-18 06:35:47 PM  
Men Aren't necessarily dirty-minded ...

but we're a lot less encumbered by the thought process than women are.

How do you know?

Imagine this : a man and a woman (comparable in almost every other way) both have sex with a person of their choice who is a 9 on a scale of 1-10.

Then afterwards, they find out that the person they just had intercourse with is a serial killer or child molester.

The man will most likely think about how creepy the other person is.

The women will most likely think about how horrible a person she is because she had sex with that other person.
 
2012-11-18 06:36:52 PM  
NetOwl I'm not trying to be rude when I say this, but I think you're more of the exception than the rule when it comes to male sex obsession. Of course, I'm able to do and think of other things, but at my core there's a part of me that wants to fark every half decent looking woman I see. I totally support women's rights and equality, and I try to be respectful to all the women I meet, but if they're attractive I want to fark them. I'm married, and I've never cheated on my wife. I don't ever plan to. Civility is about controlling your urges, not having a complete lack of urges.

Obviously not everyone is exactly the same, but I think a very large portion of the straight male population operates largely the same way.
 
2012-11-18 06:44:21 PM  

NetOwl: Common sayings aren't necessarily right, especially when the main evidence for them is a questionable public narrative that has sexist roots. That can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies and confimation bias, both.


Self-fulfilling prophesies are a funny thing. They can certainly fuel themselves, but they can also start from a correct observation.


Women are supposed to feel shame about sex. They're going to be more likely to turn it down even if they want it more, right? Guys are supposed to want it more, hence the common stories about regretting their hook-ups. Some guys will do it even if they don't want to.


I don't think those stories are all that common, unless the girl was fat/ugly/both and their friends found out. Or if it hurt someone else they care about. Otherwise, I can't imagine feeling guilty after sex.


Exceptions to this, though, are much, much more common than the standard narrative would have it seem. Heck, almost every woman I know has considerably more casual sex than almost every guy I know, and they seem to enjoy it quite a bit. They're also not very choosy, and they tease me for being a bit prudish and a bit of a romantic.

I'd argue they are probably having more casual sex because they can get it more easily, not because they want it more. For women it's a screening process, they weed out who they don't want. For men it's a search, we have to find someone willing. How often do your guy friends go out wanting to get laid and strike out? How often do your female friends go out and NOT want to get laid and instead complain about all the guys hitting on them?

Of course you'll remember guys complaining that they never get any after marriage. It's such a common idea that it's socially acceptable to make that observation. Hence confirmation bias. It might also be self-fulfilling, since a guy who doesn't want sex with his wife is going to be more likely to bite the bullet and go along with his social conditioning.

Why is it such a common idea if it doesn't happen?

Look, just by means of comparison here are several of the reasons used to turn me down:
sad so not in the mood
happy but not in the mood
sick
just not in the mood
headache
have to pee
worried about work
had dream that upset her
depressed
tired
wants to get up early

In each and everyone of those cases I HAVE wanted sex with her while in those same moods and states.
 
2012-11-18 06:49:39 PM  
Do men lie on surveys?
Psychologists find that men don't like prying questions about their sex lives.
 
2012-11-18 06:52:48 PM  

aka_mrcam: If you exclude gay sex, the number of sexual partners of men and women are always equal.


On average it is equal, yet the number of people who put out doesn't need to match.

In a group of 10 man and 10 women you'd still average the same number of unique partners in the group if only 2 women had sex while all men had sex (or vice versa1). Your statement proofs nothing about the differences in sexuality of one group over the other.

/1)Yeah, right
//Averages suck as a statistical measure
///1 person scores a 10, 9 people score a 2, 90% of the group scored below average
 
2012-11-18 06:53:56 PM  

Hoban Washburne: NetOwl I'm not trying to be rude when I say this, but I think you're more of the exception than the rule when it comes to male sex obsession. Of course, I'm able to do and think of other things, but at my core there's a part of me that wants to fark every half decent looking woman I see. I totally support women's rights and equality, and I try to be respectful to all the women I meet, but if they're attractive I want to fark them. I'm married, and I've never cheated on my wife. I don't ever plan to. Civility is about controlling your urges, not having a complete lack of urges.

Obviously not everyone is exactly the same, but I think a very large portion of the straight male population operates largely the same way.


That's a cold reality feminists don't want to hear. You see if men's supposed sex obsession was cultural/market-driven, you could campaign on changing that mindset to achieve equality in the way men and women treat each other. That would be the ideal but it can only really happen if men's attitudes were artificial.

But if you acknowledge that the way men think about women and sex is inherent, that it's rooted in biology, then the best you can hope to do is suppress or channel it. Which civilized society has been doing since the beginning of time.
 
2012-11-18 07:03:31 PM  
(oYo) txt sx
 
2012-11-18 07:03:38 PM  
You're assuming they merely have easier access (and they do have easier access), but that's because that fits the expectations most people have. The people I'm thinking of really do like it more, though. I was surprised when I first learned this, but it turned out to be true. Several girls who seemed to be conservative and shy and whatnot turned out to be quite different once I got to know them.

I can think of several girls who have slept with all but one or two of their male friends (and I'm always one of their exceptions). I know one girl who doesn't even date because she claims she is unable to commit to just one guy at a time. I know another who would keep three or four guys aroun at all times and pick whichever was more convenient on a given weekend.

These are all people who, like me, live on the margins of society and its expectations, but they're still real, and I think they are underrepresented.

I also think they are less likely to be honest about their preferred lifestyle around more traditional guys. (Women often tell me stuff because they consider me to be effeminate and, therefore, trustworthy. While their perception there comes partly from my lack of a domineering personality as well as my "feminine" views on sex, they ignore my typically masculine social interests when making such judgements. Somehow, people have trouble with the fact that a guy can yell at one hockey player to kill another hockey player yet still not want casual sex.)


I realize I'm in the minority, but I think the minority is larger than most suppose.
 
2012-11-18 07:13:29 PM  

NetOwl: I realize I'm in the minority, but I think the minority is larger than most suppose.


I wouldn't argue with you on that simply because you can never truly know exactly what/how someone is thinking. I just think this article is completely full of shiat.
 
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