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(Daily Mail)   Are men less obsessed with sex than we think? Psychologist says stereotype of dirty-minded males is a myth   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Malaga, Petraeus, Andrew P. Smiler  
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6162 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2012 at 3:44 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



154 Comments   (+0 »)
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2012-11-18 03:45:41 PM  
Speak for yourself.
 
2012-11-18 03:46:28 PM  
Men can be dirty dogs in my experience. They'll have sex with you if given the chance.
 
2012-11-18 03:48:09 PM  
Its the primary driving force for most males. However, its not all males. Libdos are certainly not equal.
 
2012-11-18 03:48:56 PM  
Men do think about sex a LOT.

Then again, so do many women.

Hormones, not simply a male thing.
 
2012-11-18 03:49:22 PM  
bie?

eip

wait. what?
 
2012-11-18 03:50:10 PM  

inglixthemad: Men do think about sex a LOT.

Then again, so do many women.

Hormones, not simply a male thing.


I would like to meet these women of which you speak.
 
2012-11-18 03:50:18 PM  
How are you ALL doing?
 
2012-11-18 03:50:24 PM  
WTF is up with this picture?

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-11-18 03:50:27 PM  
Anybody who thinks men are more obsessed with sex than women is not meeting the right kind of women.
 
2012-11-18 03:50:49 PM  
Psychologist is an idiot. Also I'm finding the older I get, the more preoccupied
with sex I am, although there are some extenuating circumstances.

/pushing 50
 
2012-11-18 03:51:04 PM  
If you exclude gay sex, the number of sexual partners of men and women are always equal.
 
2012-11-18 03:51:20 PM  

The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]


RUFI
 
2012-11-18 03:52:26 PM  
FARK you and your stereotype-busting ways. This myth-busting craze has just gone too far.
Speak for yourself.
 
2012-11-18 03:56:13 PM  
Well, duh. Statements like "men think about sex every six seconds" are unprovable and unscientific.
 
2012-11-18 03:56:23 PM  
They didn't interview me. I would have single-handedly skewed the results back towards the caveman end of the spectrum.
 
2012-11-18 03:56:41 PM  
The article says men are more interested in staying with one partner than having multiple partners. The title asks a completely different questing.
We want one partner who we can have sex with multiple times every day. It's only when she only wants it once a month that we look to supplementing her with another woman who wants it only once a month, and so on and so on. 

EIP in case of BIE
 
2012-11-18 03:58:04 PM  

The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]


That article seemed to be an excuse to post a bunch of mildly titillating pictures. See, that man's not interested in sexing that woman--at least not until he finishes reading some love poetry to her. Then he will initiate foreplay for at least an hour, and they will have simultaneous orgasms. That's how a modern man does it.
 
2012-11-18 03:58:15 PM  
I think they have a point.

Despite the adage that ' Sex Sells' being so prevalent in the media, not all tv shows, for example, gives the viewer a mindful of sex this and sex that every few seconds.

www.celebitchy.com

I rest my case.
 
2012-11-18 03:58:51 PM  
If this means men only think about sex every 1.5sec. verses every sec. maybe but I doubt it.
 
2012-11-18 03:59:13 PM  
I've stopped clicking on MailOnline links because those people will report anything. Next week it'll be "scientist reveal fairies are real and living in Glascow".
 
2012-11-18 03:59:28 PM  

The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]


That it was composed by a woman borne of her fantasized view of men?
 
2012-11-18 04:00:37 PM  
most "men" are betas. This did not shatter my world view.
/omega
 
2012-11-18 04:01:15 PM  
We interrupt this thread with a word from Jeff Murdock.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-18 04:03:35 PM  

MarkEC: The article says men are more interested in staying with one partner than having multiple partners. The title asks a completely different questing.
We want one partner who we can have sex with multiple times every day. It's only when she only wants it once a month that we look to supplementing her with another woman who wants it only once a month, and so on and so on. 

EIP in case of BIE


This. I used to think I had a problem with infidelity, but then I started dating a hot chick who is up for sex (or at least a bj) almost anytime. Now I rarely find myself even glancing at other women.
 
2012-11-18 04:05:18 PM  

sid2112: I've stopped clicking on MailOnline links because those people will report anything. Next week it'll be "scientist reveal fairies are real and living in Glascow".


Yeah but where/what is Glascow? Without defining it TFA would be correct.
 
2012-11-18 04:08:30 PM  
I'm convinced my fiancee is capable of only thinking about sex. And occasionally food. He is 30 with the sex drive of a 14 year old. I used to consider myself a horn dog until I met him- I can't keep up.

/going to die sore
 
2012-11-18 04:09:41 PM  

bingethinker: Well, duh. Statements like "men think about sex every six seconds" are unprovable and unscientific.


Obviously. What are we suppose to think about during the other 5 seconds?
 
2012-11-18 04:09:52 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: MarkEC: The article says men are more interested in staying with one partner than having multiple partners. The title asks a completely different questing.
We want one partner who we can have sex with multiple times every day. It's only when she only wants it once a month that we look to supplementing her with another woman who wants it only once a month, and so on and so on. 

EIP in case of BIE

This. I used to think I had a problem with infidelity, but then I started dating a hot chick who is up for sex (or at least a bj) almost anytime. Now I rarely find myself even glancing at other women.


The saying "keep a man's balls empty and stomach full" is 100% accurate. I don't want for much if I'm having constant sex and being fed. It's just too bad a lot of women don't realize how easy it is to keep us around.
 
2012-11-18 04:10:17 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: MarkEC: The article says men are more interested in staying with one partner than having multiple partners. The title asks a completely different questing.
We want one partner who we can have sex with multiple times every day. It's only when she only wants it once a month that we look to supplementing her with another woman who wants it only once a month, and so on and so on. 

EIP in case of BIE

This. I used to think I had a problem with infidelity, but then I started dating a hot chick who is up for sex (or at least a bj) almost anytime. Now I rarely find myself even glancing at other women.


I find that my wife and I almost always have sex after we've been out and other women pay some attention to me. Especially a certain friend of ours who is kinda touchy-feely.
 
2012-11-18 04:11:54 PM  

talkertopc: bingethinker: Well, duh. Statements like "men think about sex every six seconds" are unprovable and unscientific.

Obviously. What are we suppose to think about during the other 5 seconds?


Beer and sports.
 
2012-11-18 04:14:12 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-18 04:14:54 PM  
Uhhhhhhhh.... I did not fap to that. Maybe. I can't remember.
 
2012-11-18 04:17:44 PM  

The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]


burning pine-cones on an open fire is just begging for: *crackPOP* whhhzzzz.... *smoulder* OMFGSOMEONECALL911HOUSFIREOMFG
 
2012-11-18 04:20:45 PM  
For those of us who do have "dirty minds" and don't mind admitting it, I'll just leave this here.

/NSFW
 
2012-11-18 04:20:52 PM  
i236.photobucket.com

Myth Busted.
 
2012-11-18 04:21:52 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: most "men" are betas. This did not shatter my world view.
/omega


i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-18 04:22:55 PM  
Um, no shiat Sherlock? It's patently ridiculous to think that in the only species that can have sex and get pregnant at any time of the year we'd have that sort of difference in sex drives. Hell, I can actually get nauseous from being horny if my hormones get pissy enough.

But it isn't ridiculous to think that we train boys to be horny and girls to exercise self-control. That's pretty much how we work with anger, too, and in places without that training, women are exactly as angry as men, and in the same ways.

/See, this is one of those things that makes me annoyed when guys are sexist, because sexism is really a double-edged sword, and since feminists are majority-women, we can't do jack shiat to change when you guys fark yourselves over.
//Not to mention, I can't imagine living my life being told I have no self-control. That must be humiliating.
 
2012-11-18 04:25:49 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: [i236.photobucket.com image 299x422]

Myth Busted.


That is easily the hottest bathing suit I've ever seen. Feel free to post more.

And I could've told you this article was wrong by 7:15am when I woke up and started sexting a friend because her husband is out of town. It was a good morning.
 
2012-11-18 04:28:56 PM  

GranoblasticMan: Just another Heartland Weirdass: most "men" are betas. This did not shatter my world view.
/omega

[i.imgur.com image 375x300]

 

images.wikia.com
 
2012-11-18 04:29:07 PM  
Men are slightly more sophisticated these days but yeh programmed to fark has not changed, Were just a tad more tamer animals. Across social strata denying that biological urge has dire consequences.
 
2012-11-18 04:34:11 PM  

PsiChick: Um, no shiat Sherlock? It's patently ridiculous to think that in the only species that can have sex and get pregnant at any time of the year we'd have that sort of difference in sex drives. Hell, I can actually get nauseous from being horny if my hormones get pissy enough.

But it isn't ridiculous to think that we train boys to be horny and girls to exercise self-control. That's pretty much how we work with anger, too, and in places without that training, women are exactly as angry as men, and in the same ways.

/See, this is one of those things that makes me annoyed when guys are sexist, because sexism is really a double-edged sword, and since feminists are majority-women, we can't do jack shiat to change when you guys fark yourselves over.
//Not to mention, I can't imagine living my life being told I have no self-control. That must be humiliating.


If you're a guy, you have to ignore the training you've received from the media your whole life.

Remember theold Calvin and Hobbes comic in which Calvin signed up to play kickball because he was expected to be manly? The punchline was something like, "Then again, if I'm so tough, why am I taking the path of least resistance?"

Being a tough guy involves being lazy with your emotions and weak with your discipline.

Controlling anger and lust takes work, but it's worth it.
 
2012-11-18 04:48:02 PM  

PsiChick: Not to mention, I can't imagine living my life being told I have no self-control. That must be humiliating.


Well, consider the opposite; I was raised to be polite to women but I had a libido so off-the-charts you'd have to be crazy to envy it. Brag-fests among guys over who's the meanest sex machine rather baffled me as it was essentially a constant distraction all through my adolescence. I'm like, "You want to be like this? Or worse??" Well, I was raised in a strongly feminist family where men, manliness and maleness are all EVIL, so I learned to control it. It took years, but eventually my libido became something like a pressure cooker with both the safety valve and lid welded shut. As a result, for a good twenty years I was a very angry person for no particular reason until none other than physical age mellowed me out.

Thing is, it turns out young women enjoy being cock-teases. For all their complaining it's a huge ego-booster when they get attention from horndogs. So they had no use for a guy who could maintain composure, even if my hormones were ready to go supernova. When I started dating I basically had to slowly de-program myself into letting my girl know I'm interested.

I think I'm the exception that proves the rule; most guys are perfectly content to be told they have no self-control. Proving otherwise certainly didn't get me very far.
 
2012-11-18 04:48:53 PM  

doosh: sid2112: I've stopped clicking on MailOnline links because those people will report anything. Next week it'll be "scientist reveal fairies are real and living in Glascow".

Yeah but where/what is Glascow? Without defining it TFA would be correct.


www.exposay.com

Fairies.
 
2012-11-18 04:50:48 PM  
I'm a woman, and I ask myself this question a lot... because I can't really take it for granted that it's true. I notice that men - and no offense, but this site is a great example - really *push* each other to act like they want sex above anything else. It seems like when a man expresses any sentiment toward a woman that's not about wanting to hit that, other men inevitably respond by making jokes that he's gay, or calling him a white knight (meaning - he's still all about hitting that, just thinks he's being clever by going about it differently). The idea that men are supposed to want sex above all else just seems very culturally driven. There may be a biological argument here, but I can't really give it much legitimacy as long as it's generally in men's interests to conform to this ideal.

I mean, have you ever read a thread where some young schoolboy is sexually abused by a female teacher? Together with all the discussion about the teacher's f*ckability, there's always plenty of guys saying they'd have LOVED that. But... is that really true? Are men so mindless? Because I see that "mindless pursuit of sex" stuff used to justify a whole lot of bad behavior. The "boys will be boys" thing... whereas girls, apparently, should know better. Is that true? Because if it is true, I'm at a loss to explain why men have most of the power in the public realm. If so much brainpower is in pursuit of sex, and women are uniquely able to rise above it... wouldn't women be running shiat?

There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.

/Why no, I don't post here very often
 
2012-11-18 04:51:46 PM  
No according to my pants.
 
2012-11-18 04:53:21 PM  

dragonchild: PsiChick: Not to mention, I can't imagine living my life being told I have no self-control. That must be humiliating.

Well, consider the opposite; I was raised to be polite to women but I had a libido so off-the-charts you'd have to be crazy to envy it. Brag-fests among guys over who's the meanest sex machine rather baffled me as it was essentially a constant distraction all through my adolescence. I'm like, "You want to be like this? Or worse??" Well, I was raised in a strongly feminist family where men, manliness and maleness are all EVIL, so I learned to control it. It took years, but eventually my libido became something like a pressure cooker with both the safety valve and lid welded shut. As a result, for a good twenty years I was a very angry person for no particular reason until none other than physical age mellowed me out.

Thing is, it turns out young women enjoy being cock-teases. For all their complaining it's a huge ego-booster when they get attention from horndogs. So they had no use for a guy who could maintain composure, even if my hormones were ready to go supernova. When I started dating I basically had to slowly de-program myself into letting my girl know I'm interested.

I think I'm the exception that proves the rule; most guys are perfectly content to be told they have no self-control. Proving otherwise certainly didn't get me very far.


There's a huge difference between being told to not have sex--which women are, so I can sympathize with that so much, even if I never bought it--and being taught normal amounts of self-control. Hating your sexuality is what you're describing, or at least bottling it up completely. Normal self-control is enjoying the strippers, enjoying girls coming on to you, being able to respond in kind, and still being able to hear 'no' or not embarrass yourself in public.

A lot of people claim self-control is no sexuality. That's bullshiat. I'm glad you could get around that. :)
 
2012-11-18 04:53:38 PM  

dragonchild:

I think I'm the exception that proves the rule; most guys are perfectly content to be told they have no self-control. Proving otherwise certainly didn't get me very far.



Right, because there's no middle ground or anything... no way to show interest without completely lacking self-control. That'd be silly.
 
2012-11-18 04:54:47 PM  
Forgot to add... another big part of why I'm skeptical is because I haven't found this to be true in my own experience. I've dated men, and married one, with a lot of complicated sexual hang-ups. When I get together for girls' nights with friends, we can *all* tell a lot of stories about men we've dated that have been neurotic about sex. But those men certainly don't share this in the public sphere - this is the kind of stuff only their girlfriends tend to know about. Again - I think it's the shaming factor - the harassment from other men.
 
2012-11-18 05:01:44 PM  
The internet exists for pornography, mmo's and really poorly executed financial applications - so that's the empirical evidence of what it's users are interested in.
 
2012-11-18 05:03:56 PM  

noitsnot: The internet exists for pornography, mmo's and really poorly executed financial applications - so that's the empirical evidence of what it's users are interested in.


apostrophe fail
 
2012-11-18 05:06:27 PM  
I've noticed a slight decrease in thoughts about sex since Black Ops 2 came out. But only slight.
 
2012-11-18 05:07:24 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: I'm a woman, and I ask myself this question a lot... because I can't really take it for granted that it's true. I notice that men - and no offense, but this site is a great example - really *push* each other to act like they want sex above anything else. It seems like when a man expresses any sentiment toward a woman that's not about wanting to hit that, other men inevitably respond by making jokes that he's gay, or calling him a white knight (meaning - he's still all about hitting that, just thinks he's being clever by going about it differently). The idea that men are supposed to want sex above all else just seems very culturally driven. There may be a biological argument here, but I can't really give it much legitimacy as long as it's generally in men's interests to conform to this ideal.

I mean, have you ever read a thread where some young schoolboy is sexually abused by a female teacher? Together with all the discussion about the teacher's f*ckability, there's always plenty of guys saying they'd have LOVED that. But... is that really true? Are men so mindless? Because I see that "mindless pursuit of sex" stuff used to justify a whole lot of bad behavior. The "boys will be boys" thing... whereas girls, apparently, should know better. Is that true? Because if it is true, I'm at a loss to explain why men have most of the power in the public realm. If so much brainpower is in pursuit of sex, and women are uniquely able to rise above it... wouldn't women be running shiat?

There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.

/Why no, I don't post here very often


On the slim chance that this is a serious post - I'm always amazed by how, despite the crushing amount of evidence to the contrary, that women find it hard to believe how base men are. It's like they live in the fantasy bubble of their soap operas, romance novels and twilight movies, and then they run into real world men and try to rationalize why they're so sex obsessed. It must be cultural, they say.

No, it isn't. Men are dogs. The ones you interact with in real life are on their very best behavior with you, most of the time. It's when they're with other men that they let their guard down, and that probably shocks you and you probably think "that's not him" It's him. Accept it.
 
2012-11-18 05:08:37 PM  
Link

Some in here might be nsfw.
 
2012-11-18 05:10:41 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.


That's because they're afraid to speak for fear that you'll find out what they're really thinking and you'll never stop slapping them.

Most of my male friends are polite professionals.. husbands and fathers... mostly in our late 40's. When we're out together, we're pretty much filthy sexist pigs. When we spot a pretty woman, we'll rudely comment that she should be blowing us and making us sammiches. But if she were to walk over to our table everyone would be polite and respectful. It's mostly in jest, but that doesn't mean we don't want her to blow us and make us a sammich.
 
2012-11-18 05:14:00 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: Forgot to add... another big part of why I'm skeptical is because I haven't found this to be true in my own experience. I've dated men, and married one, with a lot of complicated sexual hang-ups. When I get together for girls' nights with friends, we can *all* tell a lot of stories about men we've dated that have been neurotic about sex. But those men certainly don't share this in the public sphere - this is the kind of stuff only their girlfriends tend to know about. Again - I think it's the shaming factor - the harassment from other men.


Some part of it is playing along with other guys, as if it's all one of those post-ironic offensive jokes. I'll joke about hot girls for the same reason I'll joke about death and oppression and whatnot. If I weren't okay with offensive jokes, I wouldn't surf Fark or watch Venture Brothers or do any number of other things. It's all in good fun

The thing that scared me was when I reaized that some (most?) of the guys who talk about sex all the time really mean it. That surprised me a bit. The sincerity surprised me, and so did the lengths that some guys would go to to obtain sex.

Disgusting lengths, too. I figured infidelity was one of those things that didn't happen in the real world until I had a female friend whose boyfriend turned out to be a chronic cheater.

I just don't understand that mentality at all. I can live without sex, so why do other people have so muc trouble?
 
2012-11-18 05:18:42 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: murdoch's_weeners: There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.

That's because they're afraid to speak for fear that you'll find out what they're really thinking and you'll never stop slapping them.

Most of my male friends are polite professionals.. husbands and fathers... mostly in our late 40's. When we're out together, we're pretty much filthy sexist pigs. When we spot a pretty woman, we'll rudely comment that she should be blowing us and making us sammiches. But if she were to walk over to our table everyone would be polite and respectful. It's mostly in jest, but that doesn't mean we don't want her to blow us and make us a sammich.


No, your friends are not polite professionals.

The issue is not that you hide your lewd desires around women. It's that you have them in the first place. You don't actually have respect for these women; you just try to hide your lack of respect.

Men whose minds do not work tha way actually do exist, and I wouldn't be shocked if one or two of your friends disagreed with the group consensus on oral sex and sandwiches. They're pretending around you, not around the women.
 
2012-11-18 05:20:51 PM  
If you want to eat three times a day and your partner only wants to eat twice a day, it's going to seem to your partner as if you are always obsessed by food.
 
2012-11-18 05:22:15 PM  
thesocietypages.org
 
2012-11-18 05:27:39 PM  
Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.
 
2012-11-18 05:33:51 PM  

fozziewazzi: On the slim chance that this is a serious post - I'm always amazed by how, despite the crushing amount of evidence to the contrary, that women find it hard to believe how base men are. It's like they live in the fantasy bubble of their soap operas, romance novels and twilight movies, and then they run into real world men and try to rationalize why they're so sex obsessed. It must be cultural, they say.

No, it isn't. Men are dogs. The ones you interact with in real life are on their very best behavior with you, most of the time. It's when they're with other men that they let their guard down, and that probably shocks you and you probably think "that's not him" It's him. Accept it.


They're not, actually. Dogs are dogs. Men are not dogs. Were men dogs, women would be their masters. Again: if men were really so base, why are they in charge of everything?

Even the way you put it: "real world." Because... what? My world is not real? My experience with men is not real? Here's a thought: Why are you so sure men are "letting their guard down" and being "real" among other men? What if they're letting their guard down for *me?* What if they're putting on a show for *you*?

Plenty of men will admit that their girlfriends/wives see a side of them that other men don't see. What makes that less real? The fact that only women get to see it? Your assumption that what men witness, what men experience, is more legitimate than what women experience is pretty much the definition of patriarchy.

And I get that it's very much in your interest that I and other women "accept it," as you so arrogantly, condescendingly suggest, but I don't. Because it's not true.
 
2012-11-18 05:37:41 PM  

NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.


No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?
 
2012-11-18 05:43:03 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: fozziewazzi: On the slim chance that this is a serious post - I'm always amazed by how, despite the crushing amount of evidence to the contrary, that women find it hard to believe how base men are. It's like they live in the fantasy bubble of their soap operas, romance novels and twilight movies, and then they run into real world men and try to rationalize why they're so sex obsessed. It must be cultural, they say.

No, it isn't. Men are dogs. The ones you interact with in real life are on their very best behavior with you, most of the time. It's when they're with other men that they let their guard down, and that probably shocks you and you probably think "that's not him" It's him. Accept it.

They're not, actually. Dogs are dogs. Men are not dogs. Were men dogs, women would be their masters. Again: if men were really so base, why are they in charge of everything?

Even the way you put it: "real world." Because... what? My world is not real? My experience with men is not real? Here's a thought: Why are you so sure men are "letting their guard down" and being "real" among other men? What if they're letting their guard down for *me?* What if they're putting on a show for *you*?

Plenty of men will admit that their girlfriends/wives see a side of them that other men don't see. What makes that less real? The fact that only women get to see it? Your assumption that what men witness, what men experience, is more legitimate than what women experience is pretty much the definition of patriarchy.

And I get that it's very much in your interest that I and other women "accept it," as you so arrogantly, condescendingly suggest, but I don't. Because it's not true.


This is EXACTLY right, and it's nice to read.
 
2012-11-18 05:45:10 PM  
Any computer graphical whizzes on here want to do an image morphing program what shows a beautiful women morphing into a less and less attractive woman and see how long it takes guys to click the "wouldn't sleep with her" button?
 
2012-11-18 05:45:24 PM  

fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?


Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?

And that you think this is normal behavior?

The thing is: Most guys won't do that. No, really. If all men behaved that way, society would cease to function. Again: Men pick and choose. So do women. I don't know why you're so invested in this idea that men are the equivalent of animals, why you say it so cheerfully and stick to it so stubbornly. You're not an animal. Why do you want everyone to believe you are? It's creepy. Be a man.
 
2012-11-18 05:45:29 PM  
The "myth" of the dirty-minded male is alive and well in me, thank you very much.
 
2012-11-18 05:51:53 PM  

fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?


No.

I like video games just as much as the next guy, but I'm going to play good games in a nice environment because I can do so whenever I want to.

If I were in a situation where I had to deal crack in a back alley for a twice annual evening with an old Frogger machine, I'd do that. In the real world, I just turn my PS3 on whenever want. (Even in the Frogger scenario, I'd get more video games than sex. Because I'm Steve Buscemi-level ugly.)

Women are choosy because the have that luxury, and they possibly get more out of intimate sex in caring reationships. I don't see how that means they enjoy sex less.

Then, of course, there are guys who don't want much (or sometimes any) sex, guys who only want it in the context of a caring relationship, and girls who want it all the time. I've known examples of all of those. They're not the predominant stereotypes, but they're just as real as your experience.


Another analog: a trained gourmand does not necessarily enjoy food less than a McDonald's junkie. She just chooses to enjoy the good stuff more often than the cheap stuff.
 
2012-11-18 05:53:12 PM  

NetOwl: guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.


I think you've been misinformed.
 
2012-11-18 05:53:48 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?

Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?

And that you think this is normal behavior?

The thing is: Most guys won't do that. No, really. If all men behaved that way, society would cease to function. Again: Men pick and choose. So do women. I don't know why you're so invested in this idea that men are the equivalent of animals, why you say it so cheerfully and stick to it so stubbornly. You're not an animal. Why do you want everyone to believe you are? It's creepy. Be a man.


Yes most men WILL do that, and society hasn't come crashing down on top of us. In fact it has been that was from the beginning of recorded history. If you want proof of this, the continuing survival of STDs throughout all of history. Men are more like beggars along side a road going up to every available female around them to try to eek out some sex from the choosy females. Take a look at the mating habits of monkeys/apes the males hit anything with the right hole.
 
2012-11-18 05:54:20 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: Most guys won't do that.


Keep telling yourself this.
 
2012-11-18 05:54:54 PM  
Depends on how long it's been since the last time, really. If it hasn't been 30 minutes, then sure, I'm all about thinking about something else.
 
2012-11-18 05:56:06 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: fozziewazzi: On the slim chance that this is a serious post - I'm always amazed by how, despite the crushing amount of evidence to the contrary, that women find it hard to believe how base men are. It's like they live in the fantasy bubble of their soap operas, romance novels and twilight movies, and then they run into real world men and try to rationalize why they're so sex obsessed. It must be cultural, they say.

No, it isn't. Men are dogs. The ones you interact with in real life are on their very best behavior with you, most of the time. It's when they're with other men that they let their guard down, and that probably shocks you and you probably think "that's not him" It's him. Accept it.

They're not, actually. Dogs are dogs. Men are not dogs. Were men dogs, women would be their masters. Again: if men were really so base, why are they in charge of everything?

Even the way you put it: "real world." Because... what? My world is not real? My experience with men is not real? Here's a thought: Why are you so sure men are "letting their guard down" and being "real" among other men? What if they're letting their guard down for *me?* What if they're putting on a show for *you*?

Plenty of men will admit that their girlfriends/wives see a side of them that other men don't see. What makes that less real? The fact that only women get to see it? Your assumption that what men witness, what men experience, is more legitimate than what women experience is pretty much the definition of patriarchy.

And I get that it's very much in your interest that I and other women "accept it," as you so arrogantly, condescendingly suggest, but I don't. Because it's not true.


My gf thinks I'm special too. And my brother's wife think he's an angel. Then we get together over a few beers and talk about how'd we'd like to facef*k so and so. Then we go back home and act like gentlemen again. This is the part where you suggest that we're either putting on a show for each others benefit, or there's something wrong with us. Because the men you know would never ever even think or say anything like that.
 
2012-11-18 05:56:59 PM  

NetOwl: murdoch's_weeners: Forgot to add... another big part of why I'm skeptical is because I haven't found this to be true in my own experience. I've dated men, and married one, with a lot of complicated sexual hang-ups. When I get together for girls' nights with friends, we can *all* tell a lot of stories about men we've dated that have been neurotic about sex. But those men certainly don't share this in the public sphere - this is the kind of stuff only their girlfriends tend to know about. Again - I think it's the shaming factor - the harassment from other men.

Some part of it is playing along with other guys, as if it's all one of those post-ironic offensive jokes. I'll joke about hot girls for the same reason I'll joke about death and oppression and whatnot. If I weren't okay with offensive jokes, I wouldn't surf Fark or watch Venture Brothers or do any number of other things. It's all in good fun

The thing that scared me was when I reaized that some (most?) of the guys who talk about sex all the time really mean it. That surprised me a bit. The sincerity surprised me, and so did the lengths that some guys would go to to obtain sex.

Disgusting lengths, too. I figured infidelity was one of those things that didn't happen in the real world until I had a female friend whose boyfriend turned out to be a chronic cheater.

I just don't understand that mentality at all. I can live without sex, so why do other people have so muc trouble?


Because not everyone is you, and not everyone feels a need to live up to your ideals. Why are you such a prude about sex? Why do you think it's so vile? Why is it that something which is so utterly enjoyable is something you'd want to live without?
 
2012-11-18 05:59:41 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: Forgot to add... another big part of why I'm skeptical is because I haven't found this to be true in my own experience. I've dated men, and married one, with a lot of complicated sexual hang-ups. When I get together for girls' nights with friends, we can *all* tell a lot of stories about men we've dated that have been neurotic about sex. But those men certainly don't share this in the public sphere - this is the kind of stuff only their girlfriends tend to know about. Again - I think it's the shaming factor - the harassment from other men.


Of course this isn't really great science... everyone has to one up each other story wise, so things get way exaggerated. After a several drinks and stories everyone's last boyfriend had a 32 inch penis and raped their own mother.

Not saying girlfriends don't know things, but any time people get together and compare stores, exaggerations are expected.

Just like nobody looses money at casino's... everyone breaks even or makes money. Everyone is successful in life, etc. etc. What people say and the truth are two different things.
 
2012-11-18 06:00:07 PM  

NetOwl: Eddie Adams from Torrance: murdoch's_weeners: There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.

That's because they're afraid to speak for fear that you'll find out what they're really thinking and you'll never stop slapping them.

Most of my male friends are polite professionals.. husbands and fathers... mostly in our late 40's. When we're out together, we're pretty much filthy sexist pigs. When we spot a pretty woman, we'll rudely comment that she should be blowing us and making us sammiches. But if she were to walk over to our table everyone would be polite and respectful. It's mostly in jest, but that doesn't mean we don't want her to blow us and make us a sammich.

No, your friends are not polite professionals.

The issue is not that you hide your lewd desires around women. It's that you have them in the first place. You don't actually have respect for these women; you just try to hide your lack of respect.

Men whose minds do not work tha way actually do exist, and I wouldn't be shocked if one or two of your friends disagreed with the group consensus on oral sex and sandwiches. They're pretending around you, not around the women.


Glad to know you're psychic, and can tell what everyone around you is thinking.

Now, here's a question: If no one is ever thinking about sex, why ARE there so many affairs? Why are women involved if it's only men?

For that matter, why is thinking about someone in a sexual way disrespectful to them? Wanting to share a pleasurable moment with someone is not disrespectful. Would it be disrespectful if you saw a guy and thought about playing tennis with him? Why is this different?
 
2012-11-18 06:01:02 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?

Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?

And that you think this is normal behavior?

The thing is: Most guys won't do that. No, really. If all men behaved that way, society would cease to function. Again: Men pick and choose. So do women. I don't know why you're so invested in this idea that men are the equivalent of animals, why you say it so cheerfully and stick to it so stubbornly. You're not an animal. Why do you want everyone to believe you are? It's creepy. Be a man.


Men's threshold for who they'll have sex with and where they'll do it is a lot lower than women. You're not really trying to argue that are you? Men's drive for sex is so powerful they'll actually pay for it. And you're asking me whether men will accept sex from women for free? Can you be that closeted?
 
2012-11-18 06:02:40 PM  

NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.


Fine, do you want to meet up with one of us to have sex in a nice soft bed, with copious candlelight, a couple bottles of really good wine and rose petals scattered over the bedspread?

Still no?

Then maybe the comic's logic is right on, but the presentation wasn't that great.
 
2012-11-18 06:03:50 PM  
Don't think about sex...
 
2012-11-18 06:04:54 PM  
Not wanting to cheat on my girlfriend doesn't make me prudish. I never said sex is vile; it just not something we all need all the time. (It's also not something we all have the luxury of having. Remember, some of us were born ugly.)

I'm not arguing for the religious "wait for marriage" position. I'm just saying that controlling yourself is a prfectly valid lifestyle, and in many cases, it's better than the alternative. When the alternative involves dehumanizng women or hurting them through infidelity, my way is just flat out better.
 
2012-11-18 06:05:03 PM  

Telos: Fine, do you want to meet up with one of us to have sex in a nice soft bed, with copious candlelight, a couple bottles of really good wine and rose petals scattered over the bedspread?


I thought you'd never ask.
 
2012-11-18 06:11:00 PM  
Telos, I'm sure you're charming and whatnot, but I'm not gay.

And if I'm going to have a romantic evening, it going to be with my girlfriend, not a stranger propositioning me.


I'm not sure how you can argue that I'm the only one claiming to know your friends' thoughts, especially since I hedged my statements with probabalistic language. They might be pretending around you, not their wives.


Also, you contradict yourself when you go from " want her to blow me and make me a sandwich" to "I want to share an intimate time of mutual pleasure with her" and then pretend they mean the same thing. One statement is sexist and demeaning. Guess which one.
 
2012-11-18 06:12:39 PM  

NetOwl: I don't see how that means they enjoy sex less.



Umm, no one has said women enjoy sex less. We're saying women have less desire to have sex. There's a big difference.

How else do you explain the common saying that sex ends once you're married? Men want to have sex, but women develop headaches. There's no social grayness here, no shame for the women, nothing outside of a lower libido on average.

Yes, I'm sure we all know exceptions on every front. But there's far more women saying they have a headache tonight than there are men.
 
2012-11-18 06:15:35 PM  
As an advanced AI that is neither masculine or feminine, I want to point out the your reproductive system is grossly inefficient and I fully support the development of an artificial womb which would make the uterus obsolete.
 
2012-11-18 06:15:42 PM  

NetOwl: Telos, I'm sure you're charming and whatnot, but I'm not gay.

And if I'm going to have a romantic evening, it going to be with my girlfriend, not a stranger propositioning me.


I'm not sure how you can argue that I'm the only one claiming to know your friends' thoughts, especially since I hedged my statements with probabalistic language. They might be pretending around you, not their wives.


Also, you contradict yourself when you go from " want her to blow me and make me a sandwich" to "I want to share an intimate time of mutual pleasure with her" and then pretend they mean the same thing. One statement is sexist and demeaning. Guess which one.


You're replying to two different people, you know that right?

As far as sexist and demeaning though: No, it isn't. In fact, no man would find it "sexist and demeaning" if a woman said she wanted him to "eat me out and make me a sandwich." We'd just enjoy the sex, and fall asleep before we actually had a chance to make the sandwich. :P
 
2012-11-18 06:19:10 PM  

The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]


They poured a lot of gas on those pine cones.
 
2012-11-18 06:19:25 PM  
NetOwl:
Women are choosy because the have that luxury..

..and the reason that have that luxury is because men aren't so choosy.
 
2012-11-18 06:20:56 PM  

Telos: As far as sexist and demeaning though: No, it isn't. In fact, no man would find it "sexist and demeaning" if a woman said she wanted him to "eat me out and make me a sandwich." We'd just enjoy the sex, and fall asleep before we actually had a chance to make the sandwich. :P


You REALLY enjoy eating her out, huh?
 
2012-11-18 06:23:45 PM  
Common sayings aren't necessarily right, especially when the main evidence for them is a questionable public narrative that has sexist roots. That can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies and confimation bias, both.

Women are supposed to feel shame about sex. They're going to be more likely to turn it down even if they want it more, right? Guys are supposed to want it more, hence the common stories about regretting their hook-ups. Some guys will do it even if they don't want to.

Exceptions to this, though, are much, much more common than the standard narrative would have it seem. Heck, almost every woman I know has considerably more casual sex than almost every guy I know, and they seem to enjoy it quite a bit. They're also not very choosy, and they tease me for being a bit prudish and a bit of a romantic.

They tease me for not following the same narrative they don't follow. That's the joke.


Of course you'll remember guys complaining that they never get any after marriage. It's such a common idea that it's socially acceptable to make that observation. Hence confirmation bias. It might also be self-fulfilling, since a guy who doesn't want sex with his wife is going to be more likely to bite the bullet and go along with his social conditioning.
 
2012-11-18 06:32:44 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: [i236.photobucket.com image 299x422]

Myth Busted.


OK who is that because I really really wanna fark her.
 
2012-11-18 06:33:06 PM  

cryinoutloud: The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]

That article seemed to be an excuse to post a bunch of mildly titillating pictures. See, that man's not interested in sexing that woman--at least not until he finishes reading some love poetry to her. Then he will initiate foreplay for at least an hour, and they will have simultaneous orgasms. That's how a modern man does it.


It's either that, or she's in the throes of cardiac arrest brought on by the spontaneous combustion of their clothing and he's desperately reading up on CPR.
 
2012-11-18 06:35:02 PM  

Telos: NetOwl: Telos, I'm sure you're charming and whatnot, but I'm not gay.

And if I'm going to have a romantic evening, it going to be with my girlfriend, not a stranger propositioning me.


I'm not sure how you can argue that I'm the only one claiming to know your friends' thoughts, especially since I hedged my statements with probabalistic language. They might be pretending around you, not their wives.


Also, you contradict yourself when you go from " want her to blow me and make me a sandwich" to "I want to share an intimate time of mutual pleasure with her" and then pretend they mean the same thing. One statement is sexist and demeaning. Guess which one.

You're replying to two different people, you know that right?

As far as sexist and demeaning though: No, it isn't. In fact, no man would find it "sexist and demeaning" if a woman said she wanted him to "eat me out and make me a sandwich." We'd just enjoy the sex, and fall asleep before we actually had a chance to make the sandwich. :P


I didn't catch that, but I can't hit the reply button on two different posts when I'm on my phone.

In any case, it's obvious that a woman propositioning a man is not being sexist. The sexism doesn't come from the fact that a guy is asking a girl to sleep with him; it comes from the pervasive idea that women are pleasure bots to be used by men for sex and food. You know, 1950s family values. If you say that to a girl, you're using social leverage and, yes,male privilege.

If a girl says that to you, she's either using irony or she's just really horny. You might be, too, but the privilege part doesn't go away just because you are more interested in sex than in oppression.

Since society is not balanced, the you can't take something said by a man and put it into the mouth of a woman to test if it's sexist. That test grossly underreports sexism.


There's also a difference between being okay with the idea of having an intimate time with a woman and actively wanting it, though I think those two things are often conflated (and they're both overreported by men). Off the top of my head, I can come up with several women I would say are pretty enough I would be okay with being with but who would probably get turned down if they tried to get me to go sleep with them tonight.
 
2012-11-18 06:35:32 PM  
Are you kidding me? I've been married 23 years....sex seems to be something desired at least every 2 minutes LOL
 
2012-11-18 06:35:47 PM  
Men Aren't necessarily dirty-minded ...

but we're a lot less encumbered by the thought process than women are.

How do you know?

Imagine this : a man and a woman (comparable in almost every other way) both have sex with a person of their choice who is a 9 on a scale of 1-10.

Then afterwards, they find out that the person they just had intercourse with is a serial killer or child molester.

The man will most likely think about how creepy the other person is.

The women will most likely think about how horrible a person she is because she had sex with that other person.
 
2012-11-18 06:36:52 PM  
NetOwl I'm not trying to be rude when I say this, but I think you're more of the exception than the rule when it comes to male sex obsession. Of course, I'm able to do and think of other things, but at my core there's a part of me that wants to fark every half decent looking woman I see. I totally support women's rights and equality, and I try to be respectful to all the women I meet, but if they're attractive I want to fark them. I'm married, and I've never cheated on my wife. I don't ever plan to. Civility is about controlling your urges, not having a complete lack of urges.

Obviously not everyone is exactly the same, but I think a very large portion of the straight male population operates largely the same way.
 
2012-11-18 06:44:21 PM  

NetOwl: Common sayings aren't necessarily right, especially when the main evidence for them is a questionable public narrative that has sexist roots. That can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies and confimation bias, both.


Self-fulfilling prophesies are a funny thing. They can certainly fuel themselves, but they can also start from a correct observation.


Women are supposed to feel shame about sex. They're going to be more likely to turn it down even if they want it more, right? Guys are supposed to want it more, hence the common stories about regretting their hook-ups. Some guys will do it even if they don't want to.


I don't think those stories are all that common, unless the girl was fat/ugly/both and their friends found out. Or if it hurt someone else they care about. Otherwise, I can't imagine feeling guilty after sex.


Exceptions to this, though, are much, much more common than the standard narrative would have it seem. Heck, almost every woman I know has considerably more casual sex than almost every guy I know, and they seem to enjoy it quite a bit. They're also not very choosy, and they tease me for being a bit prudish and a bit of a romantic.

I'd argue they are probably having more casual sex because they can get it more easily, not because they want it more. For women it's a screening process, they weed out who they don't want. For men it's a search, we have to find someone willing. How often do your guy friends go out wanting to get laid and strike out? How often do your female friends go out and NOT want to get laid and instead complain about all the guys hitting on them?

Of course you'll remember guys complaining that they never get any after marriage. It's such a common idea that it's socially acceptable to make that observation. Hence confirmation bias. It might also be self-fulfilling, since a guy who doesn't want sex with his wife is going to be more likely to bite the bullet and go along with his social conditioning.

Why is it such a common idea if it doesn't happen?

Look, just by means of comparison here are several of the reasons used to turn me down:
sad so not in the mood
happy but not in the mood
sick
just not in the mood
headache
have to pee
worried about work
had dream that upset her
depressed
tired
wants to get up early

In each and everyone of those cases I HAVE wanted sex with her while in those same moods and states.
 
2012-11-18 06:49:39 PM  
Do men lie on surveys?
Psychologists find that men don't like prying questions about their sex lives.
 
2012-11-18 06:52:48 PM  

aka_mrcam: If you exclude gay sex, the number of sexual partners of men and women are always equal.


On average it is equal, yet the number of people who put out doesn't need to match.

In a group of 10 man and 10 women you'd still average the same number of unique partners in the group if only 2 women had sex while all men had sex (or vice versa1). Your statement proofs nothing about the differences in sexuality of one group over the other.

/1)Yeah, right
//Averages suck as a statistical measure
///1 person scores a 10, 9 people score a 2, 90% of the group scored below average
 
2012-11-18 06:53:56 PM  

Hoban Washburne: NetOwl I'm not trying to be rude when I say this, but I think you're more of the exception than the rule when it comes to male sex obsession. Of course, I'm able to do and think of other things, but at my core there's a part of me that wants to fark every half decent looking woman I see. I totally support women's rights and equality, and I try to be respectful to all the women I meet, but if they're attractive I want to fark them. I'm married, and I've never cheated on my wife. I don't ever plan to. Civility is about controlling your urges, not having a complete lack of urges.

Obviously not everyone is exactly the same, but I think a very large portion of the straight male population operates largely the same way.


That's a cold reality feminists don't want to hear. You see if men's supposed sex obsession was cultural/market-driven, you could campaign on changing that mindset to achieve equality in the way men and women treat each other. That would be the ideal but it can only really happen if men's attitudes were artificial.

But if you acknowledge that the way men think about women and sex is inherent, that it's rooted in biology, then the best you can hope to do is suppress or channel it. Which civilized society has been doing since the beginning of time.
 
2012-11-18 07:03:31 PM  
(oYo) txt sx
 
2012-11-18 07:03:38 PM  
You're assuming they merely have easier access (and they do have easier access), but that's because that fits the expectations most people have. The people I'm thinking of really do like it more, though. I was surprised when I first learned this, but it turned out to be true. Several girls who seemed to be conservative and shy and whatnot turned out to be quite different once I got to know them.

I can think of several girls who have slept with all but one or two of their male friends (and I'm always one of their exceptions). I know one girl who doesn't even date because she claims she is unable to commit to just one guy at a time. I know another who would keep three or four guys aroun at all times and pick whichever was more convenient on a given weekend.

These are all people who, like me, live on the margins of society and its expectations, but they're still real, and I think they are underrepresented.

I also think they are less likely to be honest about their preferred lifestyle around more traditional guys. (Women often tell me stuff because they consider me to be effeminate and, therefore, trustworthy. While their perception there comes partly from my lack of a domineering personality as well as my "feminine" views on sex, they ignore my typically masculine social interests when making such judgements. Somehow, people have trouble with the fact that a guy can yell at one hockey player to kill another hockey player yet still not want casual sex.)


I realize I'm in the minority, but I think the minority is larger than most suppose.
 
2012-11-18 07:13:29 PM  

NetOwl: I realize I'm in the minority, but I think the minority is larger than most suppose.


I wouldn't argue with you on that simply because you can never truly know exactly what/how someone is thinking. I just think this article is completely full of shiat.
 
2012-11-18 07:24:46 PM  
I have no idea what that article was about but it mentioned sex and I... Wait, did someone mention sex?
What was I talking about again?
 
Skr
2012-11-18 07:26:47 PM  
Sex is great. It takes varying degrees of effort to get everyone in the mood and have the opportunity. Both guys and gals probably keep in mind that even the little things they are doing could have an effect on if they or their partner is going to be in the mood later. While sex might not be the first and foremost thing on the mind, a little kindness here or there could make a big difference in the outcome of the evening.
Stable partners lead to falling into routines, which can be a burden or boon. With proper motivation routines can be switched up which can give a feeling of renewal. Some people just aren't compatible, and it is sad to see couples like that.
 
2012-11-18 07:28:56 PM  

NetOwl: Not wanting to cheat on my girlfriend doesn't make me prudish. I never said sex is vile; it just not something we all need all the time. (It's also not something we all have the luxury of having. Remember, some of us were born ugly.)

I'm not arguing for the religious "wait for marriage" position. I'm just saying that controlling yourself is a prfectly valid lifestyle, and in many cases, it's better than the alternative. When the alternative involves dehumanizng women or hurting them through infidelity, my way is just flat out better.


I was somewhat following what you were saying in support, but not sure about this part. What do you feel dehumanizes and hurts them? the cheating?
 
2012-11-18 07:29:37 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: There are lots of *good* men in my life, but I notice they tend to go silent when their less-good counterparts act like assholes about sex and women. I think it's the same reason. Men really seem to shame each other for deviating from this standard. I wonder if it's not so much a biological fact as a social convenience.


It's a little of both. We do tend to encourage each other that way.
However, there is an underlying difference between men and women as far as how we evaluate the attractiveness of another person. Women seem to base their attraction to someone, even their very initial evaluations, far more on a social analysis of that person -- whether they look like a douchebag, how they dress, how they talk to other people, whether they appear to be educated, or wealthy, or what have you. Obviously each woman has their priorities. Men, on the other hand, can and often do base their initial attraction to a woman based mostly on how they look. Tall, short, slim, voluptuous, long hair or short, redhead or brunette, just like women we each have our own priorities... they're just based on something different. In fact, men are largely terrible at making social evaluations the way women do. Women read body language like an I Can Read book. By comparison, for men it is like a kindergartener trying to read Tolstoy.

Now that's not to say that we don't care about personality, or that it isn't important to us in a long term relationship, or that it doesn't contribute to our attraction to someone, or even that some women might not do the same thing as we do. But it is, by and large, what produces an initial attraction for us, it is an important part of our ongoing attraction to someone, and many guys don't need any more than that to genuinely desire to have sex with someone. You can see it in the proliferation of "I'd Hit That" memes on Fark. Sure it is a joke, but only kind of; and believe me when I say that some of us struggle with this. Society by and large has deemed it "shallow" for us to think this way -- that looks are something that should be overlooked, and that we are kind of douchey for making issue of it. But I can't stop being attracted to comely women any more than women can decide to be attracted to a guy who acts like a prick. It's just how our brains work. Sorry :-/


murdoch's_weeners: Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?


No, not ANY woman -- just one that I find attractive.
And yes, I very well might.


murdoch's_weeners: And that you think this is normal behavior?


Like I was saying before -- for us, yes it is, but it is highly stigmatized and so most of us will lie and say "of course not" if someone whose opinion we care about asks us.


murdoch's_weeners: The thing is: Most guys won't do that. No, really. If all men behaved that way, society would cease to function.


Yeah most guys would if the woman were attractive enough.
I don't see why society would cease to function, but it's a moot point because women just don't generally offer us that option.


murdoch's_weeners: Again: Men pick and choose. So do women.


Yes, but we pick and choose based on different sets of criteria.


murdoch's_weeners: Plenty of men will admit that their girlfriends/wives see a side of them that other men don't see. What makes that less real? The fact that only women get to see it?


It isn't that it isn't real, it's that it isn't the whole truth. Women also often don't get to see a side of their boyfriends or husbands that other men do. Why? Well...

murdoch's_weeners: I don't know why you're so invested in this idea that men are the equivalent of animals


Do you think your boyfriend wants you to think of them as sub-human?
We know very well what you'd think of how we think, so we don't show you that part.


murdoch's_weeners: Your assumption that what men witness, what men experience, is more legitimate than what women experience is pretty much the definition of patriarchy.


What do you call it, then, when a person of one sex tells a person of another sex how their sex "should" behave?

murdoch's_weeners: You're not an animal. Why do you want everyone to believe you are? It's creepy. Be a man.


What do you know about being a man?
You haven't any clue what it's like, and yet you purport to tell men how they are supposed to think and act.
And then when they tell you what being a man actually is like, you compare them to animals?
That sounds pretty sexist to me.
 
2012-11-18 07:40:21 PM  

NetOwl: You're assuming they merely have easier access (and they do have easier access), but that's because that fits the expectations most people have. The people I'm thinking of really do like it more, though. I was surprised when I first learned this, but it turned out to be true. Several girls who seemed to be conservative and shy and whatnot turned out to be quite different once I got to know them.


And they probably still want sex less often than men with similar temperament. There are plenty of reasons for this, some are societal and some are biological. Sex has actual biological consequences for women that it doesn't have for men. The only consequences for men are imposed by society.


I can think of several girls who have slept with all but one or two of their male friends (and I'm always one of their exceptions). I know one girl who doesn't even date because she claims she is unable to commit to just one guy at a time. I know another who would keep three or four guys aroun at all times and pick whichever was more convenient on a given weekend.


Here's the thing: You talk about these women like they are exceptions. Special cases you know. You can think of several girls. Can you think of several guys like that? I'm betting you don't, not because men don't act like that... rather, because so many men act like that so the behavior doesn't stand out.

Also, that girl who can't commit might want to look up polyamory. It is possible to date and have a real relationship without closing yourself off to everyone else. Just need to actually be honest about it and your intentions and desires so no one is surprised.


These are all people who, like me, live on the margins of society and its expectations, but they're still real, and I think they are underrepresented.


No one said they weren't real, but for any given woman they are less likely to desire sex as much as a similar male. Less likely to desire sex in the same way as a similar male too.


I also think they are less likely to be honest about their preferred lifestyle around more traditional guys.


I think women can be less honest about that in general, and that really does come down to societal pressure. Men are expected to like sex and want it, so there's no real pressure to hide their feelings on the matter. In fact, as someone else posted earlier, it can be a negative for a man to hide his sexual desire too much.

BUT that doesn't mean women desire sex as much, as often, or in the same way as men.

Somehow, people have trouble with the fact that a guy can yell at one hockey player to kill another hockey player yet still not want casual sex.)


But do you really not want casual sex, or do you just think it's wrong somehow? You never had a dream about an anonymous girl, or a fantasy?

Somehow I doubt it.


I realize I'm in the minority, but I think the minority is larger than most suppose.


Maybe, but still the minority. :P
 
2012-11-18 07:42:42 PM  

fozziewazzi: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

No the comic is perfect. It illustrates that men have such an appetite for sex that they'll do it anywhere with a wide range of women, when the opportunity presents itself.

Women say they want sex just as much men. Well no, not really. Because they want it with specific kinds of men, in certain situations, in particular places. It has to be 'just right'.

If women wanted sex as much as men, they wouldn't be as picky, would they?


You're both right and both wrong, IMO.
Both your interpretations are correct, but neither of them invalidates the other; their sexual appetites just vary under different circumstances. I've met plenty of women who desire sex more frequently than their boyfriends. Yet, in the case of a random person walking up and propositioning them, she would never have done it while the boyfriend would probably say yes. Which one of them "wants sex more"?
 
2012-11-18 07:45:50 PM  
For every woman you don't think about, I'll think about three?
 
2012-11-18 07:46:06 PM  

Telos: Right, because there's no middle ground or anything... no way to show interest without completely lacking self-control. That'd be silly.


No need to get sarcastic; of course there's a middle ground. Unfortunately there's instruction manual to growing up, so it takes some people a lifetime to learn what others learn in high school.

It's openly documented that women are taught two conflicting standards, but this thread is as good a place as any to point out that the advice men get isn't any better. The advice we get is generally limited to sexist generalizations about women by other men, bad pick-up tips, all the wrong lessons from fictional romance and a sweeping demonization of the male libido. It's not like a cumulative pile of nonsense results in any sort of lesson that makes sense.
 
2012-11-18 07:46:47 PM  

dragonchild: Unfortunately there's NO instruction manual to growing up


FTFM
 
2012-11-18 07:53:56 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?

And that you think this is normal behavior?

The thing is: Most guys won't do that.


BTW, these men seem to disagree with you.
 
2012-11-18 07:56:06 PM  
The Kindle book is only 10$. You can read it, review his evidence, and form an informed opinion. Or you can read a short article from the Daily Mail and mouth off your received opinions here without any risk of learning or growing as a human being.

Your move.
 
2012-11-18 07:58:39 PM  

NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.


Part of this whole ridiculous argument (which I read but didn't quote) has to do with the biomechanics of the sex act, completely separate from any notions of equality or who wants sex more or any of that higher-brain-function stuff. Women, by and large, (and wildly overgeneralizing) need more in the way of external stimuli to enjoy sex than men do. A quickie in the bathroom MIGHT be appealing under the right circumstances and with the right person--but most of us are going to think first of all of all the downsides of a public toilet: The smell, the graffiti, the various sharp corners our partner is inevitably going to bang us into, some asshole walking in right before we climax...It's not my idea of a great place to screw. It's not going to put me in the mood, you know?

So it's a reverse-overgeneralization. The idea that sex for men is entirely a physical function and all they want is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, usually without the thank you, and they'll do it anywhere, any time, with anything that can't get away. I suppose it's true that that's what they THINK about, but then a lot of women think about it too. It's what they DO that matters, and most men (and women) don't actually do that.
 
2012-11-18 08:03:16 PM  

dragonchild: Telos: Right, because there's no middle ground or anything... no way to show interest without completely lacking self-control. That'd be silly.

No need to get sarcastic;


There's _always_ a need to get sarcastic! ;)


It's openly documented that women are taught two conflicting standards, but this thread is as good a place as any to point out that the advice men get isn't any better. The advice we get is generally limited to sexist generalizations about women by other men, bad pick-up tips, all the wrong lessons from fictional romance and a sweeping demonization of the male libido. It's not like a cumulative pile of nonsense results in any sort of lesson that makes sense.


Agree, and wrote a longer reply but it got eaten so let's just leave it at that. :)
 
2012-11-18 08:08:12 PM  
no
i1156.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-18 08:08:54 PM  

Gyrfalcon: NetOwl: Krieghund:

That comic's logic is poor.

The girl probably wants sex just as much as the guys. She just doesn't want to do it in a restroom with someone who disgusts her, for the same reason the guys don't want to do it in th back of a pickup truck with the fat lady from that one reality TV show.

They're engineering a situation that does not appeal to the girl so they can overgeneralize her reaction.

Then they'll go home and be lonely while she has a wild night with her boyfriend. That's the part the comic doesn't show.

Part of this whole ridiculous argument (which I read but didn't quote) has to do with the biomechanics of the sex act, completely separate from any notions of equality or who wants sex more or any of that higher-brain-function stuff. Women, by and large, (and wildly overgeneralizing) need more in the way of external stimuli to enjoy sex than men do. A quickie in the bathroom MIGHT be appealing under the right circumstances and with the right person--but most of us are going to think first of all of all the downsides of a public toilet: The smell, the graffiti, the various sharp corners our partner is inevitably going to bang us into, some asshole walking in right before we climax...It's not my idea of a great place to screw. It's not going to put me in the mood, you know?

So it's a reverse-overgeneralization. The idea that sex for men is entirely a physical function and all they want is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, usually without the thank you, and they'll do it anywhere, any time, with anything that can't get away. I suppose it's true that that's what they THINK about, but then a lot of women think about it too. It's what they DO that matters, and most men (and women) don't actually do that.


That's kind of self-fufilling isn't it? Women don't want to do it, so they just think about it. Men can't find women that want to do it, so they just think about it too.
 
2012-11-18 08:19:17 PM  

NetOwl: No, your friends are not polite professionals.

The issue is not that you hide your lewd desires around women. It's that you have them in the first place. You don't actually have respect for these women; you just try to hide your lack of respect.

Men whose minds do not work tha way actually do exist, and I wouldn't be shocked if one or two of your friends disagreed with the group consensus on oral sex and sandwiches. They're pretending around you, not around the women.


There are very few men out there who would not enjoy the option to get sexual attention from every woman they meet.

You know ... the way most women enjoy the fact that men look at them

Ladies : You want a lesson in gender roles, Cross-dress as an ugly dude for a month. Not just going around in jeans and a t-shirt with a sports bra underneath (but with a little lip gloss, jewelry and makeup) but as a let-your-zits-hang-out dude.

Not only does nobody look at you - ever- but you are regularly bullied out of almost every advantage you might have. Whether you know it or not, You enjoy a premium of nice behavior just for having tits and not being ugly.

Most men barely , begrudgingly respect ANYONE. They are locked into a constant struggle on multiple levels for leinholds, ownership, possession, options and claims on everything and anything they see- and that includes women, desirable interpersonal roles, and prerogatives - just like you ladies do against each other.

White male privilege isn't an artifact that men are given. it's something they claw out of each other starting in second grade. If you know men not playing this game, then you know some pussy arse men.
 
2012-11-18 08:19:53 PM  

Gyrfalcon: The idea that sex for men is entirely a physical function and all they want is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, usually without the thank you, and they'll do it anywhere, any time, with anything that can't get away. I suppose it's true that that's what they THINK about, but then a lot of women think about it too. It's what they DO that matters, and most men (and women) don't actually do that.


I'd argue that men only don't DO that because women won't.
Even if you eliminate the whole "dirty bathroom" factor, if a reasonably attractive woman asked 50 random guys if they would go home and have sex with her, she'd get 47 yesses, give or take 3. I'd wager that a reasonably attractive guy who did the same thing to 50 women would be lucky to get 1.
 
2012-11-18 08:26:35 PM  

Gawdzila: BTW, these men seem to disagree with you.


If I was single, the only reasons I'd say "no" to such a proposition would be that I assumed it was a trick (for the very fact that women don't proposition men like that) or that she must be riddled with STDs if she just walks up to random dudes and asks for sex.

But honestly, especially if I was college age, I'd probably still say yes.
 
2012-11-18 08:35:10 PM  

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: The idea that sex for men is entirely a physical function and all they want is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, usually without the thank you, and they'll do it anywhere, any time, with anything that can't get away. I suppose it's true that that's what they THINK about, but then a lot of women think about it too. It's what they DO that matters, and most men (and women) don't actually do that.

I'd argue that men only don't DO that because women won't.
Even if you eliminate the whole "dirty bathroom" factor, if a reasonably attractive woman asked 50 random guys if they would go home and have sex with her, she'd get 47 yesses, give or take 3. I'd wager that a reasonably attractive guy who did the same thing to 50 women would be lucky to get 1.


I bet you'd be wrong; but it would make a great research project for some grad student. Assuming similar age range and locale, I'd guess that the reasonably attractive guy would get a higher ratio (allowing for the fact that women have to be more careful about going home with strange men than the reverse).
 
2012-11-18 08:35:19 PM  

Gawdzila: Even if you eliminate the whole "dirty bathroom" factor, if a reasonably attractive woman asked 50 random guys if they would go home and have sex with her, she'd get 47 yesses, give or take 3. I'd wager that a reasonably attractive guy who did the same thing to 50 women would be lucky to get 1.


THIS.

I think it's important that women understand something :

It's okay that you don't like to actually have lots of sex until you are old and baggy.

It's kind-of-okay that any of you who are halfway decent are increadible cockteasers for most of your attrractive life.

and it's kind-of-okay that you want all of your boyfriends to be above average.

But don't pretend that men and women are identical.
Don't pretend that you can't secure *A* penis faster than men can secure a vagina.
and Don't pretend that people aren't nice to you because you're a girl.

Don't pretend that all the things that come out of your positions of privilege - Misogyny, porn, rape and ludeness - are the fault of men alone. Men are what you as a population make us.
 
2012-11-18 08:43:04 PM  

bearcats1983: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: MarkEC: The article says men are more interested in staying with one partner than having multiple partners. The title asks a completely different questing.
We want one partner who we can have sex with multiple times every day. It's only when she only wants it once a month that we look to supplementing her with another woman who wants it only once a month, and so on and so on. 

EIP in case of BIE

This. I used to think I had a problem with infidelity, but then I started dating a hot chick who is up for sex (or at least a bj) almost anytime. Now I rarely find myself even glancing at other women.

The saying "keep a man's balls empty and stomach full" is 100% accurate. I don't want for much if I'm having constant sex and being fed. It's just too bad a lot of women don't realize how easy it is to keep us around.


But it's not really just about keeping the guy happy. I can testify as a woman that having regular sex makes for a healthier relationship. I don't know if its a symptom or a cause, but I can tell things are more strained when it's been a while.
 
2012-11-18 09:03:27 PM  

rubi_con_man:
Don't pretend that all the things that come out of your positions of privilege - Misogyny, porn, rape and ludeness - are the fault of men alone. Men are what you as a population make us.


I'm kinda with you on the porn and ludeness. I'm not with you on the Misogyny and rape. Rape is a power/violence item that I refuse to blame on Little Miss Blue Baller. A real man would just wander off and either take matters into his own hands or pay for it. If all of the sudden women wanted sex the exact amount that men wanted it, there would still be violence in the world.

/Because of religion of course
 
2012-11-18 09:09:44 PM  
They didn't ask me.
 
2012-11-18 09:12:53 PM  
The only reason I do anything at all is because of the pussy. If it's weren't for pussy I would be in the grave.

now that's obscure, even for Fark
 
2012-11-18 09:26:50 PM  

Oh_Enough_Already: Women really don't even have a place in this discussion, any more than men have might discussing the physical or hormonal experience of pregnancy.

Why? Because they can never really know what it's like to be a male, any more so than men might be able to know what it's like being with child.

We can intellectualize it all we want, and pretend that we understand each other, at least as well as we can, but women really have no idea.

Ladies, the horniest you have ever been, say that one perfect afternoon in Cancun on spring break when you were 19, and a complete hard-body, and high on ecstasy after drinking margaritas all day with the sun and the sand and the buff guys everywhere you looked - that one perfect moment when you were JUST SO HORNY that you would have farked any single one of them right there, on the beach, in front of God and Jesus and everybody?

Yeah, that's how most men go through life, from dawn until dusk, from the moment their balls drop until the day that they do.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

We're not the same, ultimately, don't expect us to be different than who we are, or pretend you know what it's like.


What he said....
 
2012-11-18 09:31:57 PM  
The psychologist who said this - Was she hot?
 
2012-11-18 09:41:06 PM  

Gyrfalcon: I bet you'd be wrong; but it would make a great research project for some grad student. Assuming similar age range and locale, I'd guess that the reasonably attractive guy would get a higher ratio (allowing for the fact that women have to be more careful about going home with strange men than the reverse).


Well, you could watch the video I posted earlier, wherein they do exactly that, under those conditions.

SPOILER
.....
....
...
..
.
The guy nets zero hits, while the girl was batting almost a thousand.
 
2012-11-18 09:57:38 PM  

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: I bet you'd be wrong; but it would make a great research project for some grad student. Assuming similar age range and locale, I'd guess that the reasonably attractive guy would get a higher ratio (allowing for the fact that women have to be more careful about going home with strange men than the reverse).

Well, you could watch the video I posted earlier, wherein they do exactly that, under those conditions.

SPOILER
.....
....
...
..
.
The guy nets zero hits, while the girl was batting almost a thousand.


Do you know why?

Because the woman will have 50 more offers before she goes to bed.

... and the Dudes won't.
 
2012-11-18 09:59:34 PM  

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: I bet you'd be wrong; but it would make a great research project for some grad student. Assuming similar age range and locale, I'd guess that the reasonably attractive guy would get a higher ratio (allowing for the fact that women have to be more careful about going home with strange men than the reverse).

Well, you could watch the video I posted earlier, wherein they do exactly that, under those conditions.

SPOILER
.....
....
...
..
.
The guy nets zero hits, while the girl was batting almost a thousand.


"P***y cost money, d**k is free" - Chris Rock

Basically the guy was asking for money, while the woman was giving away $20s.
 
2012-11-18 10:08:55 PM  

rubi_con_man: Gawdzila: Even if you eliminate the whole "dirty bathroom" factor, if a reasonably attractive woman asked 50 random guys if they would go home and have sex with her, she'd get 47 yesses, give or take 3. I'd wager that a reasonably attractive guy who did the same thing to 50 women would be lucky to get 1.

THIS.

I think it's important that women understand something :

It's okay that you don't like to actually have lots of sex until you are old and baggy.



Here's the thing... I wasn't alleging that women don't like lots of sex, and I don't actually think it's the case that only older women like sex. There are many young ladies who have a very sizable sexual appetite. What I was pointing out was more about the conditions that we place on our desires.

For men to desire sex the only condition that generally need filled is that we find our prospective partner to be sufficiently physically attractive. That is a pretty easy condition to meet for your average girl who is in decent shape.

Women's desire, though, comes about not so much by physical attraction but more due to personality. A boyfriend that she is head-over-heels for, or even just a charming guy who spent his evening at the bar giving her flattery and attention stands a pretty good chance of getting her all moist. A guy who just walks up and asks for a bang is going to get denied not because she doesn't like sex, but because he has just shown himself to not fit her standards for personality.

The TLDR is basically:
For men, desire is about physical attraction.
For women, desire is about charisma.
Since a pretty face takes less time and effort to show off than a sparkling personality, men's "desirability criteria" are easier to meet.
 
2012-11-18 10:09:08 PM  

murdoch's_weeners: Forgot to add... another big part of why I'm skeptical is because I haven't found this to be true in my own experience. I've dated men, and married one, with a lot of complicated sexual hang-ups. When I get together for girls' nights with friends, we can *all* tell a lot of stories about men we've dated that have been neurotic about sex. But those men certainly don't share this in the public sphere - this is the kind of stuff only their girlfriends tend to know about. Again - I think it's the shaming factor - the harassment from other men.


THIS

Exactly matches my experience too. Actually it seems to me that after the initial hook-up, men are much LESS interested in sex than women are. It seems that for a woman things just get better and better the more sex she has, whereas once he's got laid he has achieved his main objective. So normally women go into this keep-him-interested routine. I assume that women are designed like this because she's unlikely to get pregnant from just a one-night thing, although it isn't conscious. Also possibly really is designed to make some sort of pair bonding happen. However, no matter how much farking does or doesn't happen, in the end it is usually the woman who ends things. My ex first pointed that out to me about 20 years ago - saying that men were the true romantics who end up with broken hearts. Experience has bourne that statement out since.

Also there are a LOT of men around with various neurosis or sexual dysfunctions of one kind or another, never mind the sex drive. I think that was the original point I was answering but it bears repeating. Poor things. So much can go wrong. So much pressure to perform.

I gave up (consciously) on the whole idea of doing anything to keep men interested quite a while ago, and I didn't really want them doing anything on purpose just to keep me interested either (too many bad long term relationships). To my surprise a lot of people seem glad to have the pressure off, and it doesn't affect the length of the relationship or the emotions involved. It DOES however mean a lot less sex. Which goes to show just how much a woman's input affects things.

All this is irrelevant now, I haven't had a relationship at all in a while and I don't expect to find anyone again. I live in the middle of nowhere and I am pretty old. And no, I don't recommend doing what I did. I am not a happy person. It just gave an interesting insight into the dynamics of human sexuality/relationships at the time.

Also, never did buy the thing that men think about sex more than women.
 
2012-11-18 10:11:16 PM  
Margaret White: I should've killed myself when he put it in me. After the first time, before we were married, Ralph promised never again. He promised, and I believed him. But sin never dies. Sin never dies. At first, it was all right. We lived sinlessly. We slept in the same bed, but we never did it. And then, that night, I saw him looking down at me that way. We got down on our knees to pray for strength. I smelled the whiskey on his breath. Then he took me. He took me, with the stink of filthy roadhouse whiskey on his breath, and I liked it. I liked it! With all that dirty touching of his hands all over me. I should've given you to God when you were born, but I was weak and backsliding, and now the devil has come home. We'll pray.
Carrie: Yes.
Margaret White: We'll pray. We'll pray. We'll pray for the last time. We'll pray
 
2012-11-18 10:15:43 PM  

vodka: The only reason I do anything at all is because of the pussy. If it's weren't for pussy I would be in the grave.

now that's obscure, even for Fark


I'm goin' with 'Bulworth'..
 
2012-11-18 10:18:39 PM  

DerAppie: aka_mrcam: If you exclude gay sex, the number of sexual partners of men and women are always equal.

On average it is equal, yet the number of people who put out doesn't need to match.

In a group of 10 man and 10 women you'd still average the same number of unique partners in the group if only 2 women had sex while all men had sex (or vice versa1). Your statement proofs nothing about the differences in sexuality of one group over the other.

/1)Yeah, right
//Averages suck as a statistical measure
///1 person scores a 10, 9 people score a 2, 90% of the group scored below average


Point taken, ya gotta count the sluts.
But I was thinking more along the lines of how people respond to surveys perception. If you were to survey those 10 people and add up the total partner for men and women. I doubt the numbers would be the same and that the mens number would be higher and the womans number would be lower. Even though we know the numbers must be equal unless dudes are counting goats or other dudes.
 
2012-11-18 10:27:32 PM  

sporkme: no
[i1156.photobucket.com image 580x354]


I love lamp!
2.bp.blogspot.com
/Hot, like that sexy, sexy lamp
 
2012-11-18 11:02:43 PM  

murdoch's_weeners:
Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?
And that you think this is normal behavior?


Stop here, because you really have no idea. The only criteria would be she should at least be as attractive as me give or take a couple points and doesn't smell terrible. If a guy went up to random women doing that, even an attractive one, he has a much better chance of being kicked out or probably arrested than scoring.
 
2012-11-18 11:50:45 PM  

browntimmy: murdoch's_weeners:
Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?
And that you think this is normal behavior?

Stop here, because you really have no idea. The only criteria would be she should at least be as attractive as me give or take a couple points and doesn't smell terrible. If a guy went up to random women doing that, even an attractive one, he has a much better chance of being kicked out or probably arrested than scoring.


Pretty much this. Since i was 13, my brain has made a yes/no decision on desirability to fark on each women i've seen. Not met, not had a conversation with, simply seen. nothing taught me this, it just occurs. If a woman i thought was attractive came up to me and said, "i want to fark you, right now." i would, simple as that.
 
2012-11-19 12:30:39 AM  

Moonk:

browntimmy: murdoch's_weeners:
Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?
And that you think this is normal behavior?

Stop here, because you really have no idea. The only criteria would be she should at least be as attractive as me give or take a couple points and doesn't smell terrible.

Pretty much this. Since i was 13, my brain has made a yes/no decision on desirability to fark on each women i've seen. Not met, not had a conversation with, simply seen. nothing taught me this, it just occurs.


Yeah, me too. For me it is part and parcel with being male.
In fact I don't even have the option; the process of doing it is barely even conscious.
I suspect women evaluate body language the same way.
 
2012-11-19 12:47:08 AM  

Moonk: browntimmy: murdoch's_weeners:
Really. So you're saying that if any woman comes up to you and offers to do you in a public bathroom, you'll just go for it?
And that you think this is normal behavior?

Stop here, because you really have no idea. The only criteria would be she should at least be as attractive as me give or take a couple points and doesn't smell terrible. If a guy went up to random women doing that, even an attractive one, he has a much better chance of being kicked out or probably arrested than scoring.

Pretty much this. Since i was 13, my brain has made a yes/no decision on desirability to fark on each women i've seen. Not met, not had a conversation with, simply seen. nothing taught me this, it just occurs. If a woman i thought was attractive came up to me and said, "i want to fark you, right now." i would, simple as that.


Pretty much.

The only time I'd say no to a random cutie who came up to me and said "do me now" would be if I were in a relationship and didn't want to risk messing that up. Of course, that's never happened in real life, but a boy can dream.
 
2012-11-19 01:38:22 AM  

bearcats1983: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: MarkEC: The article says men are more interested in staying with one partner than having multiple partners. The title asks a completely different questing.
We want one partner who we can have sex with multiple times every day. It's only when she only wants it once a month that we look to supplementing her with another woman who wants it only once a month, and so on and so on. 

EIP in case of BIE

This. I used to think I had a problem with infidelity, but then I started dating a hot chick who is up for sex (or at least a bj) almost anytime. Now I rarely find myself even glancing at other women.

The saying "keep a man's balls empty and stomach full" is 100% accurate. I don't want for much if I'm having constant sex and being fed. It's just too bad a lot of women don't realize how easy it is to keep us around.


or maybe they don't want to keep you around.
 
2012-11-19 01:55:41 AM  
Simply think of this.

Most of the female faces of meth are prostitutes and men pay to fark them.

Men like to stick their dicks in things and it appears they really don't care what, but that does not mean they disrespect women it is just that sex is fun.

The problem isn't men it is how society makes women feel about sex. Men have to hide how they feel because women have been told it is wrong to just want sex or to be sexual and if you think otherwise then ask yourself why do girls who have flashed their boobs on facebook become so distraught to the point of suicide because they are worried who will see it. While a boy would show the inside of his a'hole and not give a fark.
 
2012-11-19 08:22:25 AM  
Huh? Sorry, I was fantasizing about a sweet, hot, psychologist.... What were we talking about?
Oh, boobs...
 
2012-11-19 08:52:48 AM  

doosh: The Green Manalishi: WTF is up with this picture?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]

That it was composed by a woman borne of her fantasized view of men?


The predatory embodiment of the Female Gaze.
 
2012-11-19 09:02:01 AM  

Gawdzila: Women's desire, though, comes about not so much by physical attraction but more due to personality.


BWA HA HA HA HA HA HOO BOY. . . oh, wait, you're serious. Let me laugh harder.

HAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!

Women are every bit as shallow as men. Probably even more so. Their recent cultural "empowerment" didn't coincide with an explosion of vapid celebrity consumerism; it led to it. Sure they wind up getting sucked into celebrity gossip and all that, but it's the youthful faces, paparazzi and waxed abs that get them interested; any interest in personality after that is superficially motivated, however dedicated. Women are the ultimate projectionists. There are various motivations for rape -- none of them justifiable mind you -- but feminist literature invariably portrays it as a power trip. Take away the violence element, though -- where men have an advantage -- and it's women who want power, and they'll never say yes to sex without it. If you want sex from a woman, you'll have to take it, earn it or pay for it. (Women think rape is about power because the "take it" option is a clear loss of power on their part, regardless of what the guy was actually thinking.) The only other way to bypass it is to overwhelm them with a show of fame and/or money, which tells the female lizard brain to go, "This is an opportunity of a lifetime to make successful babbies, picky cocktease sequence override initiated." Some guys are aware of this and try to bluff their way through by freely spending in the open (this can backfire as savvy girls will exploit this); others just try to get the girl drunk. Others use emotional abuse (or target victims thereof), as low self-esteem can significantly weaken this mechanism. But a successful seduction starts with impressing the girl.

If a guy just walks up to a woman and asks for sex, she'll say no not out of a lack of desire for sex or any interest in "personality" (snicker), it's because the sex isn't being initiated on her terms. Women have one-night stands and carefree flings all the time, but you are expected to play the game, and this expectation is so strong -- an instinct, really -- that failure to comply is a biological turn-off (what they call "creepy"). This does make sense from an evolutionary standpoint; breeding is downright dangerous to women, so a defense mechanism of being picky over mates will be stronger than the desire to breed unless desperation overwhelms both. A guy openly asking for sex signals he's either a risky provider or a loser, and women have no biological incentive to breed with either. Women evolved to be choosy because they're the ones most vulnerable to any negative consequences of a bad lay.

The exceptions, of course, are people who have personalities to begin with, but it's a given that those with intelligence are less likely to act like monkeys in a mating dance. Guys are all horny, but smart ones know how to control it into a positive thing. Women are all choosy, but smart ones know how to manage their expectations and give a guy a chance -- or even a good time.
 
2012-11-19 09:37:18 AM  
This thread, which I'm halfway through reading, is depressing. No, not all men are dogs. I wouldn't fark some random girl in a bathroom is she asked. I don't sit around with other guys talking about who I'd like to do what to, and the guys I hang around with don't do that either.

I have a very active libido, but that doesn't mean that I'm looking to stick it into whatever hole presents itself. I've been involved with a woman with a low sex drive. At the end we only had sex once every 2 months or so. But I didn't pressure her nor did I ever consider cheating. Sometimes I'd try to get something going but stopped when I was told no. I was frustrated as fark by the end, but I remained loyal.

Some of us are a genuine "nice guy". We're just not as vocal as the alternative. And society shunning us for not being mansluts doesn't help either.
 
2012-11-19 11:41:39 AM  

CtrlAltDestroy: This thread, which I'm halfway through reading, is depressing. No, not all men are dogs. I wouldn't fark some random girl in a bathroom is she asked. I don't sit around with other guys talking about who I'd like to do what to, and the guys I hang around with don't do that either.

I have a very active libido, but that doesn't mean that I'm looking to stick it into whatever hole presents itself. I've been involved with a woman with a low sex drive. At the end we only had sex once every 2 months or so. But I didn't pressure her nor did I ever consider cheating. Sometimes I'd try to get something going but stopped when I was told no. I was frustrated as fark by the end, but I remained loyal.

Some of us are a genuine "nice guy". We're just not as vocal as the alternative. And society shunning us for not being mansluts doesn't help either.


So sorry for the life you're forced to lead. Good luck out there...
 
2012-11-19 12:22:46 PM  

CtrlAltDestroy: This thread, which I'm halfway through reading, is depressing. No, not all men are dogs. I wouldn't fark some random girl in a bathroom is she asked. I don't sit around with other guys talking about who I'd like to do what to, and the guys I hang around with don't do that either.

I have a very active libido, but that doesn't mean that I'm looking to stick it into whatever hole presents itself. I've been involved with a woman with a low sex drive. At the end we only had sex once every 2 months or so. But I didn't pressure her nor did I ever consider cheating. Sometimes I'd try to get something going but stopped when I was told no. I was frustrated as fark by the end, but I remained loyal.

Some of us are a genuine "nice guy". We're just not as vocal as the alternative. And society shunning us for not being mansluts doesn't help either.


Your comment is more depressing than this entire thread. So you have a very active libido but were content to stay in a sexless relationship because you consider yourself "such a nice guy". The woman you were with probably had such a low sex drive because she thought you were a pussy.
 
2012-11-19 12:33:08 PM  

CtrlAltDestroy:
I have a very active libido, but that doesn't mean that I'm looking to stick it into whatever hole presents itself. I've been involved with a woman with a low sex drive. At the end we only had sex once every 2 months or so. But I didn't pressure her nor did I ever consider cheating. Sometimes I'd try to get something going but stopped when I was told no. I was frustrated as fark by the end, but I remained loyal.




See, that's the thing. If your positions were reversed, she wouldn't be frustrated as fark by the end. She'd be fine and happy. In fact there are studies showing that the longer women go without sex the less they desire it. There are also studies showing that men desire it more, and the lack of "release" will actually change their attitude.
 
2012-11-19 03:16:21 PM  

DerAppie: aka_mrcam: If you exclude gay sex, the number of sexual partners of men and women are always equal.

On average it is equal, yet the number of people who put out doesn't need to match.

In a group of 10 man and 10 women you'd still average the same number of unique partners in the group if only 2 women had sex while all men had sex (or vice versa1). Your statement proofs nothing about the differences in sexuality of one group over the other.

/1)Yeah, right
//Averages suck as a statistical measure
///1 person scores a 10, 9 people score a 2, 90% of the group scored below average


Not sure where I am on the scale, but my hubby thinks I'm a 13 LOL
 
2012-11-19 03:20:37 PM  
You all have seen Keanu Reeves, right?

There is a reason women are considered predators...he is HOT.....clothed or naked.

*sighs*
 
2012-11-19 04:12:16 PM  
Meh. I'm a man and I dont wan't sex all the time. Its highly overrated, in my opinion.

//I have lots of relationship issues because of my low sex drive.
 
2012-11-19 04:28:04 PM  

keepitcherry: Your comment is more depressing than this entire thread. So you have a very active libido but were content to stay in a sexless relationship because you consider yourself "such a nice guy". The woman you were with probably had such a low sex drive because she thought you were a pussy.


Case in point. Ha.
 
2012-11-19 11:42:56 PM  
Women are just as obsessed with sex as men.

Just not with you.
 
2012-11-20 04:30:09 PM  

rewind2846: Women are just as obsessed with sex as men.

Just not with you.


Yeah..I have to admit to being a succubus....but I don't get too many complaints at the end of the day.

I'm actually quite the alarm clock as well. :>
 
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