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(Some Manly Guy)   Introducing "Alpha Nail," nail polish for men that's 100% heterosexual   (alphanail.com) divider line 226
    More: Amusing, alpha  
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10520 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2012 at 5:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-18 06:23:16 PM

lazd: Fista-Phobia: 8/10

rappy:This is why you're single

Sorry, not a troll and been married for nearly nine years :)


Word.
 
2012-11-18 06:23:20 PM
Yeah, it's really heterosexual to wear nail polish
www.threewordphrase.com
 
2012-11-18 06:24:33 PM

PrivateCaboose: Right, because buying cotton balls would be unmanly.


I don't know if buying cotton balls somehow reduces manliness, but I did have a pretty noticeable skin tone change when I picked them up.

/Buy them at your own risk
 
2012-11-18 06:24:55 PM

lazd: Fista-Phobia: 8/10

rappy:This is why you're single

Sorry, not a troll and been married for nearly nine years :)


Just remembered here's a pic of my nails from last week:

sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-11-18 06:25:42 PM

robohobo: dorkymidgetqueen: I much prefer Manglaze. Alpha Nail is... uh how do I put this... douchey in their vibe. They take 'emselves WAY too seriously, and it's hilarous.

http://www.manglaze.com

There's nothing gay at all about a product called man glaze, nope, nothing at all.

/may as well call it baby batter


lol. that's kind of the point. They make so much fun of themselves, it's ridiculous. They call their colors 'fugly,' they have shade names like Santorum, Hot Mess, Fuggin Ugly, Mattesturbator, LesbiHonest.... it's puerile by design.They market by making jokes. This Alpha Nail product, it might be good, but their campaign *is* a joke.
 
2012-11-18 06:27:15 PM

Bondith: I have a hell of a time finding a shampoo I deem "manly", since my definition eliminates pretty much every product on the market. I don't need it to moisturise, condition, demoisturise, detangle, remoisturise, volumise, or do anything else fancy. I just need it to remove the excess dirt and oil from my hair so I can be respectably clean. I really don't need it to smell like Carmen Miranda's hat in a blender or be stuffed full of unpronounceable tropical foliage.


Werd.

img543.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-18 06:28:25 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


AS long as human beings are social animals, there will always be a group that places judgement on another. That being said, there is nothing manly about nail polish and stop being so flaming.
 
2012-11-18 06:30:32 PM
www.ocmit.com

Lol, he's a Kok Champion. But with that fabulous baby blue, I doubt he's a lightweight at it.

/NTTAWWT
 
2012-11-18 06:31:17 PM

lazd: lazd: Fista-Phobia: 8/10

rappy:This is why you're single

Sorry, not a troll and been married for nearly nine years :)

Just remembered here's a pic of my nails from last week:

[sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net image 850x498]


img.metro.co.uk
 
2012-11-18 06:33:21 PM
I don't know. Twenty years ago when men started wearing ear studs I thought, no way. Metrosexual fad. Now it's so commonplace that no one thinks twice about it.
 
2012-11-18 06:33:38 PM
Bondith:I only use shampoo because I don't want to walk around with a greasy rat's nest on my head. I have a hell of a time finding a shampoo I deem "manly", since my definition eliminates pretty much every product on the market. I don't need it to moisturise, condition, demoisturise, detangle, remoisturise, volumise, or do anything else fancy. I just need it to remove the excess dirt and oil from my hair so I can be respectably clean. I really don't need it to smell like Carmen Miranda's hat in a blender or be stuffed full of unpronounceable tropical foliage. I've ended up resorting to generic knock-off Irish Spring (I'm Irish(ish) and it smells like dirt) body wash (which I tell myself is just soap in a squeeze bottle). Back in the day I found a giant 1L bottle of bright industrial orange dollar store shampoo labelled "NORMAL" and nothing else. Oh how I miss that.

I've shared Tresemme with my ex. Subtle/neutral scent, comes in a big ugly black pump bottle. When I was a kid, my dad (and therefore I) usually went with Alberto VO-5 (amber goop in a clunky ol' flat bottle), though you may have to dig through those fruity new scents they started to put out a while back. Or you could try that so-called "no-poo" thing where you rinse your hair with a baking soda solution and optionally condition with cider vinegar - didn't work great for me though.

Anyway, if us ladies have to put up with ergonomic pink razors, let fellas have a turn with overpriced polish remover pads. Just another way to tell how dumb someone is with his money.
 
2012-11-18 06:33:41 PM

SoCalChris: [www.ocmit.com image 850x404]

Lol, he's a Kok Champion. But with that fabulous baby blue, I doubt he's a lightweight at it.

/NTTAWWT


Do they also make a skin-care line for all his pockmarks?
 
2012-11-18 06:34:12 PM

Cargo:
/straight
//I tell women I date about it
///they think it's weird but funny


Just know that when the relationship is over and she's talking about you with her girlfriends you're the "nailpolish guy".
 
2012-11-18 06:36:04 PM
Nail polish is a handy toolkit component. It's good for holding windings down (magnet wire, tiedowns, fishing flies, musical reeds). You can color-code reeds too so you know instantly if you're looking at an indoors reed or bad weather reed, for instance. There's less of a chance of funky tastes this way versus using other kinds of paint. Never use anti-nail-biting polish on a reed.
 
2012-11-18 06:36:58 PM

DerAppie: PrivateCaboose: Right, because buying cotton balls would be unmanly.

I don't know if buying cotton balls somehow reduces manliness, but I did have a pretty noticeable skin tone change when I picked them up.

/Buy them at your own risk


And Target thinks you're pregnant.

Link
 
2012-11-18 06:37:20 PM
What the f*ck is wrong with you guys, grow a damn pair of balls
 
2012-11-18 06:40:59 PM

Special J: Ok, maybe 60% heterosexual.


NO, no.
First it's 60% then it becomes, well, it was just one blowjob.

btw, for serious students of the human condition, normal healthy humans are incredibly, extremely adaptable, really is one of our finer points, but haters gotta hate
/maybe the human race is simply the long run to hate or love
 
2012-11-18 06:41:10 PM

LiberalEastCoastElitist: Cargo:
/straight
//I tell women I date about it
///they think it's weird but funny

Just know that when the relationship is over and she's talking about you with her girlfriends you're the "nailpolish guy".


Maybe. But probably not.
 
2012-11-18 06:41:31 PM
As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now
 
2012-11-18 06:42:02 PM
If I see a guy with nail polish, I will ask him or it, where is the rest of the outfit? You know the dress, high heels, and purse?
You want to exfoliate? Use lava soap
You need moisturizer? Rub some mineral oil into your cutting block or gun stocks.
 
2012-11-18 06:43:36 PM

rappy: What the f*ck is wrong with you guys, grow a damn pair of balls


Yeah, It takes real balls to conform to an arbitrary social standard. I think I'll show my manliness by appeasing some child on Fark.
 
2012-11-18 06:43:51 PM

LaughingRadish: Nail polish is a handy toolkit component. It's good for holding windings down (magnet wire, tiedowns, fishing flies, musical reeds). You can color-code reeds too so you know instantly if you're looking at an indoors reed or bad weather reed, for instance. There's less of a chance of funky tastes this way versus using other kinds of paint. Never use anti-nail-biting polish on a reed.


I am looking some to handle 5-600F for finishing off some ground glass fitting.
Any high temp, pretty, glossy availible?
 
2012-11-18 06:43:58 PM

Ebenator: That website is ridiculous.


I'm in love with the section on peacocking.
 
2012-11-18 06:44:33 PM

Dreamless: rappy: What the f*ck is wrong with you guys, grow a damn pair of balls

Yeah, It takes real balls to conform to an arbitrary social standard. I think I'll show my manliness by appeasing some child on Fark.


Whatever makes you feel better, fairy
 
2012-11-18 06:45:31 PM

wildlifer: If I see a guy with nail polish, I will ask him or it, where is the rest of the outfit? You know the dress, high heels, and purse?
You want to exfoliate? Use lava soap
You need moisturizer? Rub some mineral oil into your cutting block or gun stocks.


Yeah, but you said it in your head.

/actually, not sure if serious
 
2012-11-18 06:45:37 PM

Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.


Yeah, I know what you mean.
Sometimes you feel like a nut. sometimes you don't.
 
2012-11-18 06:46:31 PM

rappy: Dreamless: rappy: What the f*ck is wrong with you guys, grow a damn pair of balls

Yeah, It takes real balls to conform to an arbitrary social standard. I think I'll show my manliness by appeasing some child on Fark.

Whatever makes you feel better, fairy


Actually, your petulance is quite amusing. Does that count?
 
2012-11-18 06:46:39 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.



I agree.

Let's start now by eliminating all access to "leech" tax money for shiatbags that can't afford to pay for their OWN g'damn problems, and give that money back to the tax payers. There's plenty of private charity to help the needy.

Live free, and DIE free.
 
2012-11-18 06:47:10 PM
There are a few things that are inherently womanly. Like flowery scents and red nail polish. I don't know why, they just are. If a guy was wearing pink nail polish, it just wouldn't look right. Maybe in a few generations, but not now.

If a guy wants to wear dark polish, more power to him; but bear in mind everyone will think you're gay and be prepared for the looks & questions.
 
2012-11-18 06:47:58 PM

Bonzo_1116: Ebenator: That website is ridiculous.

I'm in love with the section on peacocking.


My reaction was...

i1199.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-18 06:49:26 PM
Actually, done right, a few "masculine" lines of nail polish might be nice to have around.Nail colors can go through fads too - neons and pastels are pretty popular now, or were last time I looked. Men can get set in their ways when it comes to the products they buy. It'd be nice to have a few companies around always putting out their basic line of colors, never discontinuing "your" color, even if it's not "in season". I'd wear a nice matte forest green (though glittery/shimmery polishes are actually the most durable).

/geez what's with all the scare quotes
 
2012-11-18 06:49:43 PM

Fista-Phobia: Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.

Or gloves.


Mine are purple.
Not gay.
 
2012-11-18 06:50:00 PM

Gyrfalcon: There are a few things that are inherently womanly. Like flowery scents and red nail polish. I don't know why, they just are. If a guy was wearing pink nail polish, it just wouldn't look right. Maybe in a few generations, but not now.

If a guy wants to wear dark polish, more power to him; but bear in mind everyone will think you're gay and be prepared for the looks & questions.


Are you sure you know what the word "inherently" means?
 
2012-11-18 06:52:03 PM

blender61: Fista-Phobia: Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.

Or gloves.

Mine are purple.
Not gay.


+1 for Frosty Grips.
 
2012-11-18 06:53:35 PM

Xyzzyka: Bondith:I only use shampoo because I don't want to walk around with a greasy rat's nest on my head. I have a hell of a time finding a shampoo I deem "manly", since my definition eliminates pretty much every product on the market. I don't need it to moisturise, condition, demoisturise, detangle, remoisturise, volumise, or do anything else fancy. I just need it to remove the excess dirt and oil from my hair so I can be respectably clean. I really don't need it to smell like Carmen Miranda's hat in a blender or be stuffed full of unpronounceable tropical foliage. I've ended up resorting to generic knock-off Irish Spring (I'm Irish(ish) and it smells like dirt) body wash (which I tell myself is just soap in a squeeze bottle). Back in the day I found a giant 1L bottle of bright industrial orange dollar store shampoo labelled "NORMAL" and nothing else. Oh how I miss that.

I've shared Tresemme with my ex. Subtle/neutral scent, comes in a big ugly black pump bottle. When I was a kid, my dad (and therefore I) usually went with Alberto VO-5 (amber goop in a clunky ol' flat bottle), though you may have to dig through those fruity new scents they started to put out a while back. Or you could try that so-called "no-poo" thing where you rinse your hair with a baking soda solution and optionally condition with cider vinegar - didn't work great for me though.

Anyway, if us ladies have to put up with ergonomic pink razors, let fellas have a turn with overpriced polish remover pads. Just another way to tell how dumb someone is with his money.


I was pretty confused when I picked up a pack of razors on sale and they were SCENTED. Because when I'm cutting the hair on my legs, I obviously prioritize purchasing a razor that smells like lavender.
 
2012-11-18 06:53:50 PM

peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now


This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue
 
2012-11-18 06:55:49 PM

spaten: peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now

This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue


Idk, I have no desire to paint my boyfriend's toes. Different strokes for different folks, though - whatever makes you happy.
 
2012-11-18 06:59:09 PM
I am the least likely woman to ever go for a hairy caveman sort of guy.

... and even *I* think nail polish for men smacks of (kindly deleted offensive words)
 
2012-11-18 06:59:53 PM

spaten: It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.



hahahahah
 
2012-11-18 07:00:02 PM

PrivateCaboose: spaten: peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now

This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue

Idk, I have no desire to paint my boyfriend's toes. Different strokes for different folks, though - whatever makes you happy.


It was her idea... we are really open with each others sexual fantasies.
 
2012-11-18 07:00:11 PM
..actually I want that for myself. I really suck at doing my nails. Too bad it doesn't come in red.
 
2012-11-18 07:00:50 PM
Nail polish on men is very 1998 in my book.

/done
//and dusted
 
2012-11-18 07:05:13 PM
Eh.... they try to hard to sell their product.

The thing about really good products is they sell themselves to the people who need it. If I was in a situation where my nails could get damaged, I could see maybe getting it to help protect them. But making it out to be Axe for your fingernails just makes me reflexively decline.
 
2012-11-18 07:05:26 PM

spaten:
It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue



**Sigh** So if a man doesn't let a woman paint his nails he's not "confident in his sexuality?" Sorry, but I would be completely freaked if my husband wanted me to "paint his nails out of the bath." Everyone has their own expectations and ideas. I expect a mans hands to look useful, others expect a mans hands to smell like lavender and rubbed with baby oil. Each to his own man.

Awesome hands (below) in my opinion...

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-18 07:05:46 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


Ironic, since the point of nail polish is to have others look at it.
 
2012-11-18 07:06:08 PM

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay


Unfortunately, you are.
 
2012-11-18 07:09:16 PM

Orange-Pippin: spaten:
It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue


**Sigh** So if a man doesn't let a woman paint his nails he's not "confident in his sexuality?" Sorry, but I would be completely freaked if my husband wanted me to "paint his nails out of the bath." Everyone has their own expectations and ideas. I expect a mans hands to look useful, others expect a mans hands to smell like lavender and rubbed with baby oil. Each to his own man.

Awesome hands (below) in my opinion...

[i.imgur.com image 850x566]


While I agree whole-heartedly with your sentiment, wtf is up with dude's thumbnails? Really. are those gorilla hands?
 
2012-11-18 07:13:01 PM

spaten: PrivateCaboose: spaten: peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now

This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue

Idk, I have no desire to paint my boyfriend's toes. Different strokes for different folks, though - whatever makes you happy.

It was her idea... we are really open with each others sexual fantasies.


xfinity.comcast.net
 
2012-11-18 07:16:27 PM
Delicate...yet masculine!
 
2012-11-18 07:19:25 PM
I went to high school with a guy who wore makeup and nail polish. Once I realized that was just black nail polish, not bruised nails, I gave no farks. If guys want to wear any type of makeup, they have every right to, and actually it's nice to know a guy takes care of himself physically.
 
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