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(Some Manly Guy)   Introducing "Alpha Nail," nail polish for men that's 100% heterosexual   (alphanail.com) divider line 226
    More: Amusing, alpha  
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10525 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2012 at 5:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



226 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-18 04:05:04 PM  
Somehow, I don't think the color is the problem with nail polish not being manly enough. I think I could get every color this company offers already.

I think the problem is, most woman aren't really going for a guy who is worried about chipping a nail.
 
2012-11-18 04:07:43 PM  
Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. You have to be sexually attracted to men for that to happen, and I don't think some nail polish will cause you to suddenly look at a guy's butt and think, "I need to snap my dick off in that."

I think it's weird to see men in nail polish, but whatever floats your boat.
 
2012-11-18 04:16:49 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. You have to be sexually attracted to men for that to happen, and I don't think some nail polish will cause you to suddenly look at a guy's butt and think, "I need to snap my dick off in that."


hmmmm, I hope reason #3 is female, cause it caused me to think that.
 
2012-11-18 04:28:35 PM  
My son went through a goth phase in middle school. His mother freaked out over black fingernail polish. I wasn't thrilled but I saw no harm in fingernail polish.

But I nearly disgorged when I saw his painted toenails. I don't like that even on women. Just an anti-fetish of mine, I guess.
 
2012-11-18 04:35:55 PM  
One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.
 
2012-11-18 05:11:51 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


It's not that they are living their lives.

It's the marketing of that product to me. It offends my sensibilities of what is and isn't stupid.

If other people buy into it then they are obviously moronic rubes... they don't offend me so much as scare me by their mere existence.
 
2012-11-18 05:17:58 PM  
"EfficiencyNo self respecting man should ever have to buy cotton balls. Our acetone free wipes preserve the strengthening power of Alpha Nail, and come in a durable, easy to transport plastic round. 15 wipes per round."

Four bucks for 15 pad of nail polish remover. That's what offends me. I'll take 200 cotton balls and half a liter of acetone for $5.00 instead
 
2012-11-18 05:30:46 PM  
Nails for men. Harder, faster, longer, sharper, pointier, er, more like penises?
 
2012-11-18 05:30:56 PM  
assets.motivationalgenerator.com
 
2012-11-18 05:31:57 PM  
That website is ridiculous.
 
2012-11-18 05:32:23 PM  
applejack.ponychan.net
 
2012-11-18 05:33:28 PM  
Gay. NTTIAWWT
 
2012-11-18 05:33:49 PM  
So it is one of those, I'm not gay but the guy applying it while giving me a hummer is things?
 
2012-11-18 05:34:00 PM  
lol. homos.
 
2012-11-18 05:34:27 PM  
Welp, that finishes out my Christmas wish list.
 
2012-11-18 05:34:36 PM  
I can see how it could help guys trying to pull off certain looks. Especially young, hip(ster) looks.

Not my thing, but I have boring (but reliable) fashion sense.


I don't get how dressing to make yourself appealing to women makes you gay, but I don't understand the macho posturing culture at all. (Okay, I actually do understand what the point is supposed to be, and I've observed enough of this kind of behavior to have a good idea of where these guys's insecurities lie, but it's still stupid.)
 
2012-11-18 05:34:44 PM  
hahahahaha
 
2012-11-18 05:35:26 PM  
Wearing nail polish is about as gay as talking with a lisp, and saying everything is just super fabulous.

/ nttawwt
 
2012-11-18 05:35:39 PM  
Oh, come on. You can look like this guy and be surrounded by bimbos

www.alphanail.com
 
2012-11-18 05:36:41 PM  

whatshisname: Oh, come on. You can look like this guy and be surrounded by bimbos

[www.alphanail.com image 321x284]


I'd hit it, even with nail polish on
 
2012-11-18 05:36:53 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


Then what the fark are we supposed to do for entertainment? A dude can only beat meat so many times a day.
 
2012-11-18 05:37:00 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-18 05:37:16 PM  
Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay
 
2012-11-18 05:37:48 PM  
Don't care about the gay/manly thing. If there's a market for it, fine, whatever. But it seems like someone's always trying to sell men on women's products by reframing it as masculine (body wash, body scrubs, nail polish, shampoo, creams, anal lube, etc)
 
2012-11-18 05:38:29 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


No, that won't ever happen. Even commenting on what other people care about is caring how those people spend their lives. Fark itself relies on this.

Also, people love to gossip.
 
2012-11-18 05:39:11 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


Not that Obamacare is now in effect.
 
2012-11-18 05:39:16 PM  
White people problems.
 
2012-11-18 05:39:33 PM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay


hahahahaha

you write pony songs? and you wear glitter nailpolish. you're gay you just don't know it yet
 
2012-11-18 05:40:06 PM  
I went through a phase where I wore nail polish, and I'm a dude. Didn't make me gay.

Course, I only wore it on one nail.

And it was clear.

And I was wearing it because I had a brittle nail that kept splitting and NutriNail kept it from doing that. Painful sumbiatch.

Diet changes cured that nail issue, though.
 
2012-11-18 05:40:43 PM  

EvilEgg: "EfficiencyNo self respecting man should ever have to buy cotton balls. Our acetone free wipes preserve the strengthening power of Alpha Nail, and come in a durable, easy to transport plastic round. 15 wipes per round."

Four bucks for 15 pad of nail polish remover. That's what offends me. I'll take 200 cotton balls and half a liter of acetone for $5.00 instead


Right, because buying cotton balls would be unmanly.
 
2012-11-18 05:41:56 PM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay


Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. It does, however, make me assume you're gay. But in DC, that's just a safe bet.
 
2012-11-18 05:42:52 PM  

andrewagill: Diet changes cured that nail issue, though.


ct.fra.bz
 
2012-11-18 05:43:02 PM  
I much prefer Manglaze. Alpha Nail is... uh how do I put this... douchey in their vibe. They take 'emselves WAY too seriously, and it's hilarous.

http://www.manglaze.com
 
2012-11-18 05:44:26 PM  
Please. I know someone that went to college with Alpha Nail, and they say it "experimented" with guys during sophomore year.
 
2012-11-18 05:44:33 PM  
Alpha Nail is technologically and biologically superior to anything on the market. Formulated with both Citral and Ginseng to strengthen and invigorate the nails down to the beds, our formula keeps nails harder and healthier.

That is clearly some high-tech shiat right there.
 
2012-11-18 05:45:35 PM  

dorkymidgetqueen: I much prefer Manglaze. Alpha Nail is... uh how do I put this... douchey in their vibe. They take 'emselves WAY too seriously, and it's hilarous.

http://www.manglaze.com


There's nothing gay at all about a product called man glaze, nope, nothing at all.

/may as well call it baby batter
 
2012-11-18 05:46:15 PM  
Are people still liking things other people don't like?

Shame on them!
 
2012-11-18 05:47:02 PM  

NetOwl:
I don't get how dressing to make yourself appealing to women makes you gay, but I don't understand the macho posturing culture at all. (Okay, I actually do understand what the point is supposed to be, and I've observed enough of this kind of behavior to have a good idea of where these guys's insecurities lie, but it's still stupid.)


Painting yourself like a woman is supposed to attract women? I think there's a self-defeating flaw in that. NTTAWW any of the people involved, just a certain incompatibilty.

I'll admit my views on the whole metrosexual thing are lagging a decade or three behind. If they want to preen and look pretty, I'm not going to stop them, but I reserve the right to quietly snicker behind their backs.

whatshisname: Oh, come on. You can look like this guy and be surrounded by bimbos

[www.alphanail.com image 321x284]


He's not surrounded, just flanked.
 
2012-11-18 05:47:16 PM  
This is as manly as manly gets

s16.postimage.org
 
2012-11-18 05:47:22 PM  
i1199.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-18 05:47:35 PM  
Sure to be a Farker Stocking Stuffer favorite this shopping season, if you know what I mean....

And I think you do...
 
2012-11-18 05:48:02 PM  
Yeah. I wore nail polish in college during my, "I think I'm David Bowie" phase. I have NEVER done as well with the ladies as I did during that phase of my life. (Of course that's half to do with just being ON a stage and playing Any type of music than the nail polish.)

The point is that I just called it nail polish and eyeliner. I knew what I was putting on.
 
2012-11-18 05:49:01 PM  
It starts at birth with blue and pink baby rooms and clothes. Then boy dolls and girl dolls. Then lunch boxes with cars and some with princesses.

I can get all of that kind of.

But why do we have skincare for men and women, shampoos for men and women, razors for men and women, and now different nail polish for men? I've heard of men who won't use a skincare product if it doesn't specifically say it's for a man on it.

Virginia Slims even capitalized on the women's movement with "You've come a long way, baby."

Men end up paying a fortune for specialized skincare and now makeup and nail polish. It's all the same stuff.

I don't really find it interesting or scandalizing at all that men wear make-up or nail polish. You see it in rock and roll all the time. It's the making-it-OK marketing that is so fascinating to me.
 
2012-11-18 05:49:35 PM  

probesport: This is as manly as manly gets

[s16.postimage.org image 492x356]


You know he's straight 'cause of the posters.
 
2012-11-18 05:50:40 PM  
Nail Polish?

www.kcconfidential.com
 
2012-11-18 05:50:45 PM  

swingerofbirches: It starts at birth with blue and pink baby rooms and clothes. Then boy dolls and girl dolls. Then lunch boxes with cars and some with princesses.

I can get all of that kind of.

But why do we have skincare for men and women, shampoos for men and women, razors for men and women, and now different nail polish for men? I've heard of men who won't use a skincare product if it doesn't specifically say it's for a man on it.

Virginia Slims even capitalized on the women's movement with "You've come a long way, baby."

Men end up paying a fortune for specialized skincare and now makeup and nail polish. It's all the same stuff.

I don't really find it interesting or scandalizing at all that men wear make-up or nail polish. You see it in rock and roll all the time. It's the making-it-OK marketing that is so fascinating to me.


Two words. Focus groups.
 
2012-11-18 05:50:56 PM  
Is there something I can put on my nails that will let them take a razor sharp edge? Because if not, I'm not buying it.

//watched too much kung fu as a kid
 
2012-11-18 05:51:14 PM  
gateway
 
2012-11-18 05:51:15 PM  
hhahahahah roger huerta, c'mon man

this article deserves to be in the sports tab as well
 
2012-11-18 05:51:52 PM  

Fista-Phobia: [i1199.photobucket.com image 371x476]


Smile for the camera, sweethart!
 
2012-11-18 05:52:20 PM  
or gaytway
 
2012-11-18 05:53:05 PM  
As a straight lady typed person, I find painted nails on a man very sexy. But maybe it's just me. My first crushes were Prince and Robert Smith, so...
 
2012-11-18 05:53:24 PM  
i.qkme.me

Yep. Pretty much this. No matter how many MMA fighters endorse your product, it's still farking nail polish.
 
2012-11-18 05:53:25 PM  
From a womans point of view, I just can't picture a guy who uses nail polish as being that being very useful-- i.e. knowing how to build a barn, run equipment, taking care of livestock, etc.

Each to her own I guess though.
 
2012-11-18 05:53:36 PM  

rappy: andrewagill: Diet changes cured that nail issue, though.

[ct.fra.bz image 544x479]


Sometimes that actually works. If you notice that your fingernails have white spots on them, try eating more vegetables and less bacon for a few weeks. Then see if you still have spots.

And if eating more vegetables offends your delicate masculine sensibilities, you could top them with jalapeño ranch and/or bacon grease.
 
2012-11-18 05:54:07 PM  

swingerofbirches: It starts at birth with blue and pink baby rooms and clothes. Then boy dolls and girl dolls. Then lunch boxes with cars and some with princesses.

I can get all of that kind of.

But why do we have skincare for men and women, shampoos for men and women, razors for men and women, and now different nail polish for men? I've heard of men who won't use a skincare product if it doesn't specifically say it's for a man on it.

Virginia Slims even capitalized on the women's movement with "You've come a long way, baby."

Men end up paying a fortune for specialized skincare and now makeup and nail polish. It's all the same stuff.

I don't really find it interesting or scandalizing at all that men wear make-up or nail polish. You see it in rock and roll all the time. It's the making-it-OK marketing that is so fascinating to me.


Not all guys are that hung up on it. I know plenty of dudes who use Origins or Kiehl's, and they're not really marketed towards men.
 
2012-11-18 05:55:01 PM  
nope
lh3.googleusercontent.com
 
2012-11-18 05:55:10 PM  

Todashy: As a straight lady typed person, I find painted nails on a man very sexy. But maybe it's just me. My first crushes were Prince and Robert Smith, so...


I personally don't find it sexy. But I like tall hairy men and I know plenty of chicks who hair guys with chest hair.
 
2012-11-18 05:55:23 PM  
perfect for men who are into My Little Ponies
 
2012-11-18 05:55:25 PM  

anfrind: rappy: andrewagill: Diet changes cured that nail issue, though.

[ct.fra.bz image 544x479]

Sometimes that actually works. If you notice that your fingernails have white spots on them, try eating more vegetables and less bacon for a few weeks. Then see if you still have spots.

And if eating more vegetables offends your delicate masculine sensibilities, you could top them with jalapeño ranch and/or bacon grease.


I don't need for my nails to start rotting to know that I should take care of my body
 
2012-11-18 05:55:26 PM  

anfrind: rappy: andrewagill: Diet changes cured that nail issue, though.

[ct.fra.bz image 544x479]

Sometimes that actually works. If you notice that your fingernails have white spots on them, try eating more vegetables and less bacon for a few weeks. Then see if you still have spots.

And if eating more vegetables offends your delicate masculine sensibilities, you could top them with jalapeño ranch and/or bacon grease.


Naw. I think it was the biotin supplements, honestly.  Though I did have some other major dietary changes around the same time.
 
2012-11-18 05:55:31 PM  
so instead of linking to cracked we're linking to 1 of the items listed in their articles
 
2012-11-18 05:55:42 PM  
graphics8.nytimes.com
 
2012-11-18 05:55:46 PM  
How about NO
 
2012-11-18 05:56:49 PM  
I started wearing polish to stop biting my nails, now I just like having tidy nails after years of looking like they'd been savaged.

That and it's a great conversation starter :)

/ 38 year old straight male
// Currently glitter on black
 
2012-11-18 05:57:50 PM  

lazd: I started wearing polish to stop biting my nails, now I just like having tidy nails after years of looking like they'd been savaged.

That and it's a great conversation starter :)

/ 38 year old straight male
// Currently glitter on black


This is why you're single
 
2012-11-18 06:00:21 PM  

lordjupiter: Don't care about the gay/manly thing. If there's a market for it, fine, whatever. But it seems like someone's always trying to sell men on women's products by reframing it as masculine (body wash, body scrubs, nail polish, shampoo, creams, anal lube, etc)


I can see the powerpoint with the pie chart showing that heterosexual males are only 2% of the nail polish market and the marketing executives coming up with advertising campaigns to try to tap this untapped market.

/Do not approve
 
2012-11-18 06:00:39 PM  
Declaring something not gay pretty much makes it gay, eh?

/even if it wasn't gay in the first place
 
2012-11-18 06:00:50 PM  

lazd: I started wearing polish to stop biting my nails, now I just like having tidy nails after years of looking like they'd been savaged.

That and it's a great conversation starter :)

/ 38 year old straight male
// Currently glitter on black


8/10
 
2012-11-18 06:01:23 PM  
It's funny watching people get worked up over what is and what is not gender appropriate. There was a time when people freaked out even harder over women wearing bloomers, and then pants.

Of course, back in the bloomer days it was also considered perfectly normal to dress little boys and girls the same way, in dresses with long hair.

But now we've cracked the code for sure! Nail polish on men is gay!
 
2012-11-18 06:01:51 PM  

Sail The Wide Accountancy: Yeah. I wore nail polish in college during my, "I think I'm David Bowie" phase. I have NEVER done as well with the ladies as I did during that phase of my life. (Of course that's half to do with just being ON a stage and playing Any type of music than the nail polish.)

The point is that I just called it nail polish and eyeliner. I knew what I was putting on.


Huh, Apparently I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

swingerofbirches: It starts at birth with blue and pink baby rooms and clothes. Then boy dolls and girl dolls. Then lunch boxes with cars and some with princesses.

I can get all of that kind of.

But why do we have skincare for men and women, shampoos for men and women, razors for men and women, and now different nail polish for men? I've heard of men who won't use a skincare product if it doesn't specifically say it's for a man on it.


That's me. I only use shampoo because I don't want to walk around with a greasy rat's nest on my head. I have a hell of a time finding a shampoo I deem "manly", since my definition eliminates pretty much every product on the market. I don't need it to moisturise, condition, demoisturise, detangle, remoisturise, volumise, or do anything else fancy. I just need it to remove the excess dirt and oil from my hair so I can be respectably clean. I really don't need it to smell like Carmen Miranda's hat in a blender or be stuffed full of unpronounceable tropical foliage. I've ended up resorting to generic knock-off Irish Spring (I'm Irish(ish) and it smells like dirt) body wash (which I tell myself is just soap in a squeeze bottle). Back in the day I found a giant 1L bottle of bright industrial orange dollar store shampoo labelled "NORMAL" and nothing else. Oh how I miss that.

The first step may be admitting I have a problem.
 
2012-11-18 06:02:11 PM  
Gayer than 7 dudes sucking off 8 dudes.
 
2012-11-18 06:04:03 PM  
I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.
 
2012-11-18 06:04:18 PM  
i bet edward and jacob would use something like this
so basically NOT GAY

/twilight rulez
 
2012-11-18 06:04:40 PM  

Bondith:

Irish Spring (I'm Irish(ish) and it smells like dirt) body wash (which I tell myself is just soap in a squeeze bottle). Back in the day I found a giant 1L bottle of bright industrial orange dollar store shampoo labelled "NORMAL" and nothing else. Oh how I miss that.

The first step may be admitting I have a problem.


I'm pretty sure the radiologist I'm working with right now used Irish Spring when he showered before work and f*ck he smells good. It's distracting.

Keep on keepin' on
 
2012-11-18 06:05:12 PM  

Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.


Or gloves.
 
2012-11-18 06:06:31 PM  
"And while putting it on won't make you Alpha, chances are that if you do it, you already are."

This is mocking itself!
 
2012-11-18 06:07:07 PM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-11-18 06:07:12 PM  
Didn't they try this before? I think there was a brand called Hard Candy or something.

Anyway, as a dude who wears nail polish, I couldn't care less to whom it is marketed.
 
2012-11-18 06:07:42 PM  
www.gtawebgalerie.net
 
2012-11-18 06:08:56 PM  

Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.


You're doing it wrong.
 
2012-11-18 06:09:22 PM  
"For those of you with a flair for style, our colors are so sick Dr. House can't fix them."

....
 
2012-11-18 06:10:26 PM  

rappy: Bondith:

Irish Spring (I'm Irish(ish) and it smells like dirt) body wash (which I tell myself is just soap in a squeeze bottle). Back in the day I found a giant 1L bottle of bright industrial orange dollar store shampoo labelled "NORMAL" and nothing else. Oh how I miss that.

The first step may be admitting I have a problem.

I'm pretty sure the radiologist I'm working with right now used Irish Spring when he showered before work and f*ck he smells good. It's distracting.

Keep on keepin' on


My girlfriend likes the smell too. In fact, she picked a bottle for me when I ran out. She's awesome.

ambercat: It's funny watching people get worked up over what is and what is not gender appropriate. There was a time when people freaked out even harder over women wearing bloomers, and then pants.

Of course, back in the bloomer days it was also considered perfectly normal to dress little boys and girls the same way, in dresses with long hair.

But now we've cracked the code for sure! Nail polish on men is gay!


It's bizarre. I'm 100% supportive of gay marriage, but straight men wearing a little big of pigment weirds me out. I'm too young to be a relic, dammit!
 
2012-11-18 06:11:00 PM  
And hell, sometimes I'll use my gf's deodorant. fark that nonsensical marketing.

/It smells good, dammit!
 
2012-11-18 06:11:52 PM  
I have no issue with dudes who wear nail polish. If you want to wear it and can pull it off, more power to you. I've known plenty of straight men who wear nail polish and I've never made the assumption that they were gay (in fact I think most of the polish-wearing men I've known were straight).

Though personally, I think dudes who insist they need nail polish (or any other beauty/skincare product) made just for men with manly color names and "hard core" packaging asserting how alpha they are doth protest a bit too much...
 
2012-11-18 06:12:48 PM  
No it's not
 
2012-11-18 06:13:41 PM  

Fista-Phobia: Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.

Or gloves.


Do you know how hard it is to accessorize shop clothes? I never know whether gloves should match your coveralls or your boots. And you just can't find them in New Holland blue.
 
2012-11-18 06:14:00 PM  

Bondith: It's bizarre. I'm 100% supportive of gay marriage, but straight men wearing a little big of pigment weirds me out. I'm too young to be a relic, dammit!


It's OK to admit that you have that reaction. Obviously you are introspective enough to engage in a little self-assessment.
 
2012-11-18 06:14:42 PM  
 
2012-11-18 06:14:56 PM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay



Yeahhhh, about that. 

www.deanmorriscards.co.uk
 
2012-11-18 06:15:33 PM  

LiberalEastCoastElitist: lordjupiter: Don't care about the gay/manly thing. If there's a market for it, fine, whatever. But it seems like someone's always trying to sell men on women's products by reframing it as masculine (body wash, body scrubs, nail polish, shampoo, creams, anal lube, etc)

I can see the powerpoint with the pie chart showing that heterosexual males are only 2% of the nail polish market and the marketing executives coming up with advertising campaigns to try to tap this untapped market.

/Do not approve


No, that's now how that marketing meeting went! It was more like "Half the population isn't wearing nail polish. So lets change the packaging, pay some bad-ass dudes with tattoos to endorse it, and slap babes in bikinis all over the website!"

When you tell me this is something I should buy, because I didn't know yet that I needed it? That's when I get all "not no way, not no how" about a product.
 
2012-11-18 06:16:59 PM  
$9.99 for black "mens" nail polish, or pay $4 for a bottle of Revlon.

Alpha Nail won't make you 100% heterosexual but will make you 100% stupid.
 
2012-11-18 06:17:13 PM  

Rozinante: Fista-Phobia: Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.

Or gloves.

Do you know how hard it is to accessorize shop clothes? I never know whether gloves should match your coveralls or your boots. And you just can't find them in New Holland blue.


Wait. Are you a mechanic or a member of a popin'-n-lockin' flash mob? Boing. Boom. Tschak. PING!
 
2012-11-18 06:18:34 PM  

jmr61: Yeahhhh, about that. 

[www.deanmorriscards.co.uk image 200x283]


That word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

/too lazy to post the image
 
2012-11-18 06:20:20 PM  
Ok, maybe 60% heterosexual.
 
2012-11-18 06:20:40 PM  
Look, the current National League Batting Champ and MVP wears nail polish to work every day. How much more manly can you be than batting champ and MVP? And have "Buster" as a first name?
 
2012-11-18 06:21:12 PM  

Fista-Phobia: 8/10


rappy:This is why you're single

Sorry, not a troll and been married for nearly nine years :)
 
2012-11-18 06:21:20 PM  

Sail The Wide Accountancy: Yeah. I wore nail polish in college during my, "I think I'm David Bowie" phase. I have NEVER done as well with the ladies as I did during that phase of my life. (Of course that's half to do with just being ON a stage and playing Any type of music than the nail polish.)


That's because college-aged men and woman are:

a) stupid
b) horny

I did great with the ladies in college, and I looked like something that fell out of the Sears catalog interspersed with a severely mistaken love of Miami Vice neon. It didn't matter.
 
2012-11-18 06:21:41 PM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay


Wasn't going to admit to this but now that you've posted, so do I.

It's only on my left pinky, though. I teach at an all girls school and years ago, a student asked if she could paint my left pinky nail, just for shiats and giggles. She did and I thought it was actually kind of cool.

Six years later, and I now own 25 bottles of OPI, and I change the shade every day to match my shirt or tie. The kids like it, and we talk nail polish quite a bit. Why, the other day for my birthday, a student gave me "Monsooner or Later" and "Pamplona Purple." It was thoughtful and much appreciated.

And I smirk at all of you who are about to besmirch my character. Smirk, I tell you!!1!

/straight
//I tell women I date about it
///they think it's weird but funny
 
2012-11-18 06:22:05 PM  
The device is actually a pretty clever way to deliver nail polish. Have normal nail polishes picked up on something like that?
 
2012-11-18 06:23:16 PM  

lazd: Fista-Phobia: 8/10

rappy:This is why you're single

Sorry, not a troll and been married for nearly nine years :)


Word.
 
2012-11-18 06:23:20 PM  
Yeah, it's really heterosexual to wear nail polish
www.threewordphrase.com
 
2012-11-18 06:24:33 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Right, because buying cotton balls would be unmanly.


I don't know if buying cotton balls somehow reduces manliness, but I did have a pretty noticeable skin tone change when I picked them up.

/Buy them at your own risk
 
2012-11-18 06:24:55 PM  

lazd: Fista-Phobia: 8/10

rappy:This is why you're single

Sorry, not a troll and been married for nearly nine years :)


Just remembered here's a pic of my nails from last week:

sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-11-18 06:25:42 PM  

robohobo: dorkymidgetqueen: I much prefer Manglaze. Alpha Nail is... uh how do I put this... douchey in their vibe. They take 'emselves WAY too seriously, and it's hilarous.

http://www.manglaze.com

There's nothing gay at all about a product called man glaze, nope, nothing at all.

/may as well call it baby batter


lol. that's kind of the point. They make so much fun of themselves, it's ridiculous. They call their colors 'fugly,' they have shade names like Santorum, Hot Mess, Fuggin Ugly, Mattesturbator, LesbiHonest.... it's puerile by design.They market by making jokes. This Alpha Nail product, it might be good, but their campaign *is* a joke.
 
2012-11-18 06:27:15 PM  

Bondith: I have a hell of a time finding a shampoo I deem "manly", since my definition eliminates pretty much every product on the market. I don't need it to moisturise, condition, demoisturise, detangle, remoisturise, volumise, or do anything else fancy. I just need it to remove the excess dirt and oil from my hair so I can be respectably clean. I really don't need it to smell like Carmen Miranda's hat in a blender or be stuffed full of unpronounceable tropical foliage.


Werd.

img543.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-18 06:28:25 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


AS long as human beings are social animals, there will always be a group that places judgement on another. That being said, there is nothing manly about nail polish and stop being so flaming.
 
2012-11-18 06:30:32 PM  
www.ocmit.com

Lol, he's a Kok Champion. But with that fabulous baby blue, I doubt he's a lightweight at it.

/NTTAWWT
 
2012-11-18 06:31:17 PM  

lazd: lazd: Fista-Phobia: 8/10

rappy:This is why you're single

Sorry, not a troll and been married for nearly nine years :)

Just remembered here's a pic of my nails from last week:

[sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net image 850x498]


img.metro.co.uk
 
2012-11-18 06:33:21 PM  
I don't know. Twenty years ago when men started wearing ear studs I thought, no way. Metrosexual fad. Now it's so commonplace that no one thinks twice about it.
 
2012-11-18 06:33:38 PM  
Bondith:I only use shampoo because I don't want to walk around with a greasy rat's nest on my head. I have a hell of a time finding a shampoo I deem "manly", since my definition eliminates pretty much every product on the market. I don't need it to moisturise, condition, demoisturise, detangle, remoisturise, volumise, or do anything else fancy. I just need it to remove the excess dirt and oil from my hair so I can be respectably clean. I really don't need it to smell like Carmen Miranda's hat in a blender or be stuffed full of unpronounceable tropical foliage. I've ended up resorting to generic knock-off Irish Spring (I'm Irish(ish) and it smells like dirt) body wash (which I tell myself is just soap in a squeeze bottle). Back in the day I found a giant 1L bottle of bright industrial orange dollar store shampoo labelled "NORMAL" and nothing else. Oh how I miss that.

I've shared Tresemme with my ex. Subtle/neutral scent, comes in a big ugly black pump bottle. When I was a kid, my dad (and therefore I) usually went with Alberto VO-5 (amber goop in a clunky ol' flat bottle), though you may have to dig through those fruity new scents they started to put out a while back. Or you could try that so-called "no-poo" thing where you rinse your hair with a baking soda solution and optionally condition with cider vinegar - didn't work great for me though.

Anyway, if us ladies have to put up with ergonomic pink razors, let fellas have a turn with overpriced polish remover pads. Just another way to tell how dumb someone is with his money.
 
2012-11-18 06:33:41 PM  

SoCalChris: [www.ocmit.com image 850x404]

Lol, he's a Kok Champion. But with that fabulous baby blue, I doubt he's a lightweight at it.

/NTTAWWT


Do they also make a skin-care line for all his pockmarks?
 
2012-11-18 06:34:12 PM  

Cargo:
/straight
//I tell women I date about it
///they think it's weird but funny


Just know that when the relationship is over and she's talking about you with her girlfriends you're the "nailpolish guy".
 
2012-11-18 06:36:04 PM  
Nail polish is a handy toolkit component. It's good for holding windings down (magnet wire, tiedowns, fishing flies, musical reeds). You can color-code reeds too so you know instantly if you're looking at an indoors reed or bad weather reed, for instance. There's less of a chance of funky tastes this way versus using other kinds of paint. Never use anti-nail-biting polish on a reed.
 
2012-11-18 06:36:58 PM  

DerAppie: PrivateCaboose: Right, because buying cotton balls would be unmanly.

I don't know if buying cotton balls somehow reduces manliness, but I did have a pretty noticeable skin tone change when I picked them up.

/Buy them at your own risk


And Target thinks you're pregnant.

Link
 
2012-11-18 06:37:20 PM  
What the f*ck is wrong with you guys, grow a damn pair of balls
 
2012-11-18 06:40:59 PM  

Special J: Ok, maybe 60% heterosexual.


NO, no.
First it's 60% then it becomes, well, it was just one blowjob.

btw, for serious students of the human condition, normal healthy humans are incredibly, extremely adaptable, really is one of our finer points, but haters gotta hate
/maybe the human race is simply the long run to hate or love
 
2012-11-18 06:41:10 PM  

LiberalEastCoastElitist: Cargo:
/straight
//I tell women I date about it
///they think it's weird but funny

Just know that when the relationship is over and she's talking about you with her girlfriends you're the "nailpolish guy".


Maybe. But probably not.
 
2012-11-18 06:41:31 PM  
As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now
 
2012-11-18 06:42:02 PM  
If I see a guy with nail polish, I will ask him or it, where is the rest of the outfit? You know the dress, high heels, and purse?
You want to exfoliate? Use lava soap
You need moisturizer? Rub some mineral oil into your cutting block or gun stocks.
 
2012-11-18 06:43:36 PM  

rappy: What the f*ck is wrong with you guys, grow a damn pair of balls


Yeah, It takes real balls to conform to an arbitrary social standard. I think I'll show my manliness by appeasing some child on Fark.
 
2012-11-18 06:43:51 PM  

LaughingRadish: Nail polish is a handy toolkit component. It's good for holding windings down (magnet wire, tiedowns, fishing flies, musical reeds). You can color-code reeds too so you know instantly if you're looking at an indoors reed or bad weather reed, for instance. There's less of a chance of funky tastes this way versus using other kinds of paint. Never use anti-nail-biting polish on a reed.


I am looking some to handle 5-600F for finishing off some ground glass fitting.
Any high temp, pretty, glossy availible?
 
2012-11-18 06:43:58 PM  

Ebenator: That website is ridiculous.


I'm in love with the section on peacocking.
 
2012-11-18 06:44:33 PM  

Dreamless: rappy: What the f*ck is wrong with you guys, grow a damn pair of balls

Yeah, It takes real balls to conform to an arbitrary social standard. I think I'll show my manliness by appeasing some child on Fark.


Whatever makes you feel better, fairy
 
2012-11-18 06:45:31 PM  

wildlifer: If I see a guy with nail polish, I will ask him or it, where is the rest of the outfit? You know the dress, high heels, and purse?
You want to exfoliate? Use lava soap
You need moisturizer? Rub some mineral oil into your cutting block or gun stocks.


Yeah, but you said it in your head.

/actually, not sure if serious
 
2012-11-18 06:45:37 PM  

Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.


Yeah, I know what you mean.
Sometimes you feel like a nut. sometimes you don't.
 
2012-11-18 06:46:31 PM  

rappy: Dreamless: rappy: What the f*ck is wrong with you guys, grow a damn pair of balls

Yeah, It takes real balls to conform to an arbitrary social standard. I think I'll show my manliness by appeasing some child on Fark.

Whatever makes you feel better, fairy


Actually, your petulance is quite amusing. Does that count?
 
2012-11-18 06:46:39 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.



I agree.

Let's start now by eliminating all access to "leech" tax money for shiatbags that can't afford to pay for their OWN g'damn problems, and give that money back to the tax payers. There's plenty of private charity to help the needy.

Live free, and DIE free.
 
2012-11-18 06:47:10 PM  
There are a few things that are inherently womanly. Like flowery scents and red nail polish. I don't know why, they just are. If a guy was wearing pink nail polish, it just wouldn't look right. Maybe in a few generations, but not now.

If a guy wants to wear dark polish, more power to him; but bear in mind everyone will think you're gay and be prepared for the looks & questions.
 
2012-11-18 06:47:58 PM  

Bonzo_1116: Ebenator: That website is ridiculous.

I'm in love with the section on peacocking.


My reaction was...

i1199.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-18 06:49:26 PM  
Actually, done right, a few "masculine" lines of nail polish might be nice to have around.Nail colors can go through fads too - neons and pastels are pretty popular now, or were last time I looked. Men can get set in their ways when it comes to the products they buy. It'd be nice to have a few companies around always putting out their basic line of colors, never discontinuing "your" color, even if it's not "in season". I'd wear a nice matte forest green (though glittery/shimmery polishes are actually the most durable).

/geez what's with all the scare quotes
 
2012-11-18 06:49:43 PM  

Fista-Phobia: Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.

Or gloves.


Mine are purple.
Not gay.
 
2012-11-18 06:50:00 PM  

Gyrfalcon: There are a few things that are inherently womanly. Like flowery scents and red nail polish. I don't know why, they just are. If a guy was wearing pink nail polish, it just wouldn't look right. Maybe in a few generations, but not now.

If a guy wants to wear dark polish, more power to him; but bear in mind everyone will think you're gay and be prepared for the looks & questions.


Are you sure you know what the word "inherently" means?
 
2012-11-18 06:52:03 PM  

blender61: Fista-Phobia: Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.

Or gloves.

Mine are purple.
Not gay.


+1 for Frosty Grips.
 
2012-11-18 06:53:35 PM  

Xyzzyka: Bondith:I only use shampoo because I don't want to walk around with a greasy rat's nest on my head. I have a hell of a time finding a shampoo I deem "manly", since my definition eliminates pretty much every product on the market. I don't need it to moisturise, condition, demoisturise, detangle, remoisturise, volumise, or do anything else fancy. I just need it to remove the excess dirt and oil from my hair so I can be respectably clean. I really don't need it to smell like Carmen Miranda's hat in a blender or be stuffed full of unpronounceable tropical foliage. I've ended up resorting to generic knock-off Irish Spring (I'm Irish(ish) and it smells like dirt) body wash (which I tell myself is just soap in a squeeze bottle). Back in the day I found a giant 1L bottle of bright industrial orange dollar store shampoo labelled "NORMAL" and nothing else. Oh how I miss that.

I've shared Tresemme with my ex. Subtle/neutral scent, comes in a big ugly black pump bottle. When I was a kid, my dad (and therefore I) usually went with Alberto VO-5 (amber goop in a clunky ol' flat bottle), though you may have to dig through those fruity new scents they started to put out a while back. Or you could try that so-called "no-poo" thing where you rinse your hair with a baking soda solution and optionally condition with cider vinegar - didn't work great for me though.

Anyway, if us ladies have to put up with ergonomic pink razors, let fellas have a turn with overpriced polish remover pads. Just another way to tell how dumb someone is with his money.


I was pretty confused when I picked up a pack of razors on sale and they were SCENTED. Because when I'm cutting the hair on my legs, I obviously prioritize purchasing a razor that smells like lavender.
 
2012-11-18 06:53:50 PM  

peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now


This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue
 
2012-11-18 06:55:49 PM  

spaten: peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now

This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue


Idk, I have no desire to paint my boyfriend's toes. Different strokes for different folks, though - whatever makes you happy.
 
2012-11-18 06:59:09 PM  
I am the least likely woman to ever go for a hairy caveman sort of guy.

... and even *I* think nail polish for men smacks of (kindly deleted offensive words)
 
2012-11-18 06:59:53 PM  

spaten: It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.



hahahahah
 
2012-11-18 07:00:02 PM  

PrivateCaboose: spaten: peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now

This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue

Idk, I have no desire to paint my boyfriend's toes. Different strokes for different folks, though - whatever makes you happy.


It was her idea... we are really open with each others sexual fantasies.
 
2012-11-18 07:00:11 PM  
..actually I want that for myself. I really suck at doing my nails. Too bad it doesn't come in red.
 
2012-11-18 07:00:50 PM  
Nail polish on men is very 1998 in my book.

/done
//and dusted
 
2012-11-18 07:05:13 PM  
Eh.... they try to hard to sell their product.

The thing about really good products is they sell themselves to the people who need it. If I was in a situation where my nails could get damaged, I could see maybe getting it to help protect them. But making it out to be Axe for your fingernails just makes me reflexively decline.
 
2012-11-18 07:05:26 PM  

spaten:
It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue



**Sigh** So if a man doesn't let a woman paint his nails he's not "confident in his sexuality?" Sorry, but I would be completely freaked if my husband wanted me to "paint his nails out of the bath." Everyone has their own expectations and ideas. I expect a mans hands to look useful, others expect a mans hands to smell like lavender and rubbed with baby oil. Each to his own man.

Awesome hands (below) in my opinion...

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-18 07:05:46 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


Ironic, since the point of nail polish is to have others look at it.
 
2012-11-18 07:06:08 PM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay


Unfortunately, you are.
 
2012-11-18 07:09:16 PM  

Orange-Pippin: spaten:
It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue


**Sigh** So if a man doesn't let a woman paint his nails he's not "confident in his sexuality?" Sorry, but I would be completely freaked if my husband wanted me to "paint his nails out of the bath." Everyone has their own expectations and ideas. I expect a mans hands to look useful, others expect a mans hands to smell like lavender and rubbed with baby oil. Each to his own man.

Awesome hands (below) in my opinion...

[i.imgur.com image 850x566]


While I agree whole-heartedly with your sentiment, wtf is up with dude's thumbnails? Really. are those gorilla hands?
 
2012-11-18 07:13:01 PM  

spaten: PrivateCaboose: spaten: peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now

This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue

Idk, I have no desire to paint my boyfriend's toes. Different strokes for different folks, though - whatever makes you happy.

It was her idea... we are really open with each others sexual fantasies.


xfinity.comcast.net
 
2012-11-18 07:16:27 PM  
Delicate...yet masculine!
 
2012-11-18 07:19:25 PM  
I went to high school with a guy who wore makeup and nail polish. Once I realized that was just black nail polish, not bruised nails, I gave no farks. If guys want to wear any type of makeup, they have every right to, and actually it's nice to know a guy takes care of himself physically.
 
2012-11-18 07:19:27 PM  
The only way a guy can have painted nails and not have it gay is if his young daughter did it. You shut the hell up and let her do it. The same goes when a kid hands you a toy phone. You answer it.
 
2012-11-18 07:22:37 PM  

robohobo: Orange-Pippin: spaten:
It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue


**Sigh** So if a man doesn't let a woman paint his nails he's not "confident in his sexuality?" Sorry, but I would be completely freaked if my husband wanted me to "paint his nails out of the bath." Everyone has their own expectations and ideas. I expect a mans hands to look useful, others expect a mans hands to smell like lavender and rubbed with baby oil. Each to his own man.

Awesome hands (below) in my opinion...

[i.imgur.com image 850x566]

While I agree whole-heartedly with your sentiment, wtf is up with dude's thumbnails? Really. are those gorilla hands?



Occasionally a fingernail will get removed from labor...I lost my left thumb nail 3 times over the last 5 or so years. It regrows and everytime it looks like some kind of mutant thing from the FireFly series. Now, if it falls off (or is removed) it doesn't even hurt. I'm guessing that's what happened in that pic.
 
2012-11-18 07:24:55 PM  
I'm sorry, am I the only one that picked up reason #3? SEX: You'll have more of it.
What? Is that a guarantee? Can I hold the company responsible if wearing their nail polish somehow doesn't get me laid?
This is the douchiest site I've seen all week. And I go to some pretty douchey sites. I'm just waiting for them to put up a line of "distinctly masculine and savage wedding dresses."

I'm a hetero dude, and I have well defined boundaries between masculine and feminine which I respect. I wouldn't be caught dead in that nail polish, because it's clearly feminine. I don't really care how others perceive me, but if I wore nail polish, I wouldn't be able to take myself seriously as a man.

If you want to wear nail polish as a dude, knock yourself out. Knowing that it's considered "girly" and doing it anyway because you want to and because you don't care about the stigma is, to me, a sign of strength. The problem I have with this site is that the underlying message isn't just "wear our nail polish because you like it," but "if you don't wear our nail polish, you're less of a man."

The implication with #3 is the perfect example. Don't wear our nail polish: get less sex.

I don't necessarily believe the inventors of this product should be shot, but I do think the people who came up with their image/ad campaign/site design should be executed without trial.
 
2012-11-18 07:28:19 PM  

Orange-Pippin: robohobo: Orange-Pippin: spaten:
It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue


**Sigh** So if a man doesn't let a woman paint his nails he's not "confident in his sexuality?" Sorry, but I would be completely freaked if my husband wanted me to "paint his nails out of the bath." Everyone has their own expectations and ideas. I expect a mans hands to look useful, others expect a mans hands to smell like lavender and rubbed with baby oil. Each to his own man.

Awesome hands (below) in my opinion...

[i.imgur.com image 850x566]

While I agree whole-heartedly with your sentiment, wtf is up with dude's thumbnails? Really. are those gorilla hands?


Occasionally a fingernail will get removed from labor...I lost my left thumb nail 3 times over the last 5 or so years. It regrows and everytime it looks like some kind of mutant thing from the FireFly series. Now, if it falls off (or is removed) it doesn't even hurt. I'm guessing that's what happened in that pic.


Ah. Okay, fair enough. I was really just curious.

I think I'd be more afraid of having a fingernail ripped off than breaking a bone, and I've broken more than my fair share of bones.
 
2012-11-18 07:30:40 PM  

spaten: peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now

This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue


No, it's not that I'm not comfortable with my sexuality, it's that I wouldn't be comfortable with yours. Not to say I'm homophobic, but if someone started licking my butthole, I'd probably kick them in the face. Just because I don't want my toenails painted/like penises entering my butt does not make me a latent homosexual, it just makes me a heterosexual who is aware of what he likes and what he doesn't like...it just so happens that what I don't like (sexually) are gay acts.

It seems some dudes here are not comfortable with other people being legitimately straight.
 
2012-11-18 07:30:59 PM  

swingerofbirches: It starts at birth with blue and pink baby rooms and clothes. Then boy dolls and girl dolls. Then lunch boxes with cars and some with princesses.

I can get all of that kind of.

But why do we have skincare for men and women, shampoos for men and women, razors for men and women, and now different nail polish for men? I've heard of men who won't use a skincare product if it doesn't specifically say it's for a man on it.

Virginia Slims even capitalized on the women's movement with "You've come a long way, baby."

Men end up paying a fortune for specialized skincare and now makeup and nail polish. It's all the same stuff.

I don't really find it interesting or scandalizing at all that men wear make-up or nail polish. You see it in rock and roll all the time. It's the making-it-OK marketing that is so fascinating to me.


The cosmetics industry realised some time ago that they were missing out on half the market, and were overjoyed to discover that their time tested method of creating and exploiting women's insecurities worked just as well on men. I thinks it's sad. This website made my skin crawl.
 
2012-11-18 07:31:05 PM  
Please tell me this is satire

/Please
 
2012-11-18 07:31:37 PM  

Muffin'sTop: hhahahahah roger huerta, c'mon man

this article deserves to be in the sports tab as well


At first I thought it said Rutger Hauer...
 
2012-11-18 07:33:41 PM  

PrivateCaboose: I was pretty confused when I picked up a pack of razors on sale and they were SCENTED. Because when I'm cutting the hair on my legs, I obviously prioritize purchasing a razor that smells like lavender.


Maybe their marketing research shows women are highly flexible.
 
2012-11-18 07:34:29 PM  

peachpicker: I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...


When I was in plays and had to put mascara on (yes, I know what I said upthread, it's different when it's theatre. Because it just is. Because. Stop looking at me like that), I would usually wander around helplessly holding the tube until a girl took pity on me.

Because who doesn't love having a girl gaze intently into your eyes from a short distance away?

Now that I think of it, there was a period in history where it was socially acceptable for men to wear makeup: the decadence of the French court just before the Revolution. Make of that what you will.
 
2012-11-18 07:35:46 PM  

robohobo: Orange-Pippin: robohobo: Orange-Pippin: spaten:
It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue


**Sigh** So if a man doesn't let a woman paint his nails he's not "confident in his sexuality?" Sorry, but I would be completely freaked if my husband wanted me to "paint his nails out of the bath." Everyone has their own expectations and ideas. I expect a mans hands to look useful, others expect a mans hands to smell like lavender and rubbed with baby oil. Each to his own man.

Awesome hands (below) in my opinion...

[i.imgur.com image 850x566]

While I agree whole-heartedly with your sentiment, wtf is up with dude's thumbnails? Really. are those gorilla hands?


Occasionally a fingernail will get removed from labor...I lost my left thumb nail 3 times over the last 5 or so years. It regrows and everytime it looks like some kind of mutant thing from the FireFly series. Now, if it falls off (or is removed) it doesn't even hurt. I'm guessing that's what happened in that pic.

Ah. Okay, fair enough. I was really just curious.

I think I'd be more afraid of having a fingernail ripped off than breaking a bone, and I've broken more than my fair share of bones.



It usually happens really quickly. The first time it hurts pretty badly and that's when you usually see me running to my husband sobbing like a little a girl :( After that, seriously, you don't even feel it. It becomes hard-like-callous and you end up clipping it off anyway.
 
2012-11-18 07:54:33 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


When the sun has entered its red giant phase and all of the oceans are boiled off the earth. Thanks a lot for the depressing vision, Debbie Downer.
 
2012-11-18 07:55:44 PM  

Tuskan_Roeder: No, it's not that I'm not comfortable with my sexuality, it's that I wouldn't be comfortable with yours. Not to say I'm homophobic, but if someone started licking my butthole, I'd probably kick them in the face. Just because I don't want my toenails painted/like penises entering my butt does not make me a latent homosexual, it just makes me a heterosexual who is aware of what he likes and what he doesn't like...it just so happens that what I don't like (sexually) are gay acts.


If you don't see a distinction between painting your toenails and someone licking your butt or farking you in the ass, then please, contact your local authorities and demand to be locked up for community safety. You frequently are in the vicinity of people with painted toes, so who knows what you're going to do to them?
 
2012-11-18 07:56:54 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
All glory to the Emperor! Death to the Pink Korps!
 
2012-11-18 07:59:30 PM  

Tuskan_Roeder: The implication with #3 is the perfect example. Don't wear our nail polish: get less sex.

I don't necessarily believe the inventors of this product should be shot, but I do think the people who came up with their image/ad campaign/site design should be executed without trial.


If we executed everyone who realized that aiming a message at the libidos that men are (in)famous for being unable to ignore is a good way to manipulate us, there'd be no one left but prepubescent children.
 
2012-11-18 08:01:06 PM  
 
2012-11-18 08:06:41 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Todashy: As a straight lady typed person, I find painted nails on a man very sexy. But maybe it's just me. My first crushes were Prince and Robert Smith, so...

I personally don't find it sexy. But I like tall hairy men and I know plenty of chicks who hair guys with chest hair.


We watched Smokey and the Bandit last month and I remembered the sexiness of the 7 0's. What happened to the men with chest hair and other manly features?
 
2012-11-18 08:20:14 PM  

Orange-Pippin: robohobo: Orange-Pippin: robohobo: Orange-Pippin: spaten:
It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue


**Sigh** So if a man doesn't let a woman paint his nails he's not "confident in his sexuality?" Sorry, but I would be completely freaked if my husband wanted me to "paint his nails out of the bath." Everyone has their own expectations and ideas. I expect a mans hands to look useful, others expect a mans hands to smell like lavender and rubbed with baby oil. Each to his own man.

Awesome hands (below) in my opinion...

[i.imgur.com image 850x566]

While I agree whole-heartedly with your sentiment, wtf is up with dude's thumbnails? Really. are those gorilla hands?


Occasionally a fingernail will get removed from labor...I lost my left thumb nail 3 times over the last 5 or so years. It regrows and everytime it looks like some kind of mutant thing from the FireFly series. Now, if it falls off (or is removed) it doesn't even hurt. I'm guessing that's what happened in that pic.

Ah. Okay, fair enough. I was really just curious.

I think I'd be more afraid of having a fingernail ripped off than breaking a bone, and I've broken more than my fair share of bones.


It usually happens really quickly. The first time it hurts pretty badly and that's when you usually see me running to my husband sobbing like a little a girl :( After that, seriously, you don't even feel it. It becomes hard-like-callous and you end up clipping it off anyway.


I think that guy has Terry's nails. It's a sign of liver failure
 
2012-11-18 08:28:43 PM  
Guys....men's nail polish has been around for YEARS! This is just an upstart company trying to make it sound "new". Phhttt....get over yerselves...
 
2012-11-18 08:30:16 PM  
I go to work sometimes wearing colored nail polish. I'm beginning to think that coworkers have figured out that I'm transgender, lol.
 
2012-11-18 08:31:30 PM  

AbbeySomeone: PrivateCaboose: Todashy:
We watched Smokey and the Bandit last month and I remembered the sexiness of the 7 0's. What happened to the men with chest hair and other manly features?


I'm one of those manly 70's looking dudes (thanks, Sicilian heritage). I tried to get metrosexual for awhile, but it's really too difficult when you've got John Travolta-level chest hair and Eugene Levy eyebrows. Just going with it is better...there aren't as many women around who like it, but when you find one, they REALLY like it.

I do have long nails on one hand though (guitarist). I wouldn't mind painting the long nails, I guess. Am I gay too?
 
2012-11-18 08:45:37 PM  

PrivateCaboose: spaten: peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now

This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue

Idk, I have no desire to paint my boyfriend's toes. Different strokes for different folks, though - whatever makes you happy.


I do my hubby's nails (hands and feet) a few times a month. Doesn't like polish but love the rest of mani-pedi. Started this routine twenty years ago when one of his beastly claws drew blood when he bumped my leg. He is one of those clean-my-nails-with-my-penknife guys otherwise.
 
2012-11-18 08:51:51 PM  
If this shiat catches on, I am moving to Nunavut.
 
2012-11-18 09:04:19 PM  
No, never, what a pain to take care of. This is why I am glad I am a guy, do not like preparing myself for public appearance. Short hair, wake up, put on clothes, go to work. How much time do these people have for all this crap?
 
2012-11-18 09:04:21 PM  

Dreamless: wildlifer: If I see a guy with nail polish, I will ask him or it, where is the rest of the outfit? You know the dress, high heels, and purse?
You want to exfoliate? Use lava soap
You need moisturizer? Rub some mineral oil into your cutting block or gun stocks.

Yeah, but you said it in your head.

/actually, not sure if serious


Very serious
 
2012-11-18 09:12:45 PM  
Oh look it another subby who is confused. (Or mabye just curious)

Heterosexuality is not the same thing as masculinity. 

i.imgur.com

Above, masculine way of doing nails, sexuality not apparent (though the barbed wire ankle tatt suggests probably gay.)
 
2012-11-18 09:20:05 PM  
Hetero nail polish is like hetero guy-on-guy fellatio.
 
2012-11-18 09:26:37 PM  

probesport: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x371]


It's how you can tell if he's in a mirrored universe.

Actually, it's just the mirror thing.
 
2012-11-18 09:27:48 PM  
This whole site wreaks of satire. And check out the video... when he goes to show you how easy it is to remove, he takes a couple swipes and it doesn't come off, then the video switches to him shadow boxing, then switches back the polish coming off (with the gauze he's using to remove it soaked black). It is hilarious.
 
2012-11-18 09:39:24 PM  

Greymalkin: Oh look it another subby who is confused. (Or mabye just curious)

Heterosexuality is not the same thing as masculinity. 

[i.imgur.com image 656x455]

Above, masculine way of doing nails, sexuality not apparent (though the barbed wire ankle tatt suggests probably gay.)


I think you could go a step further. What's disturbing (at least to me) is not that this sort of crap is "gay" or even "feminine" -- it's just foppish.

Dandies are nothing new. But they aren't exactly a sign of a healthy culture.
 
2012-11-18 09:43:48 PM  
I think I'm gonna paint my nails next week. Maybe a nice metallic deep green, or blue.
 
2012-11-18 09:51:09 PM  
oversized goof big mouth Penn Gillette does nail polish. this is the reason i will never indulge.
 
2012-11-18 09:58:44 PM  

Tuskan_Roeder: spaten: peachpicker: As a straight man in a long term monogamous relationship with a beautiful, smart and hilarious woman who paints my toenails, I find this product's marketing angle laughably silly. No one paints their nails to look tougher, you paint your nails because you like it and you don't really give a shiat what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel kinda bad for the guy in the picture painting his fingernails by himself. It's a hell of a lot more fun to let a woman do it for you. Preferably while she's wearing only a bra and panties...

/don't want my fngernails painted, only toes
//sparkly orange right now

This.

It's intimate and sexy to have a woman paint your toes, preferably naked just out of the bath.

It seems a lot of dudes are not comfortable in their sexuality.

/Not a metrosexual
//Long term relationship
//Electric blue

No, it's not that I'm not comfortable with my sexuality, it's that I wouldn't be comfortable with yours. Not to say I'm homophobic, but if someone started licking my butthole, I'd probably kick them in the face. Just because I don't want my toenails painted/like penises entering my butt does not make me a latent homosexual, it just makes me a heterosexual who is aware of what he likes and what he doesn't like...it just so happens that what I don't like (sexually) are gay acts.

It seems some dudes here are not comfortable with other people being legitimately straight.


Fine dude, My girl likes when she can fix my farked up toe nails. Too many times smashed and broken.
 
2012-11-18 10:13:33 PM  
As hetero as a football bat.
 
2012-11-18 10:16:39 PM  
Based on the pictures on the site, they are targeting the douchebagosaurus. I don't care.
 
2012-11-18 10:22:17 PM  
How is it any different then a tattoo or piercing?

Less permanent...

farking Homophobes.
 
2012-11-18 10:22:41 PM  
Meh, those colours suck.
And, it does not make one gay to wear nail polish. Just remember-
 
2012-11-18 10:24:07 PM  
wow, that cut off oddly .... time to smash this kb. Anyhow- gender specific things are fluidic- tights used to be the norm for men, and skirts were mandatory for women. ....
 
2012-11-18 10:25:11 PM  
So many people have taken one step closer to coming out in this thread.

Good for you guys!!
 
2012-11-18 10:33:11 PM  

rappy: So many people have taken one step closer to coming out in this thread.

Good for you guys!!


It would seem that you are still quite a ways away from such a thing yourself. Your constant puerile attacks reek of the mostly cliched trope of the repressed, projecting, homosexual. Some day, you'll be able to stop attacking others and accept yourself.
 
2012-11-18 10:34:24 PM  

Dreamless: rappy: So many people have taken one step closer to coming out in this thread.

Good for you guys!!

It would seem that you are still quite a ways away from such a thing yourself. Your constant puerile attacks reek of the mostly cliched trope of the repressed, projecting, homosexual. Some day, you'll be able to stop attacking others and accept yourself.


/pat
 
2012-11-18 10:39:44 PM  
My question is this - will it help me get laid?

/Cause that is all that matters!
 
2012-11-18 10:40:22 PM  

Phony_Soldier: My question is this - will it help me get laid?

/Cause that is all that matters!


Dudes will wanna f*ck your brains out
 
2012-11-18 10:40:55 PM  

Dreamless: rappy: So many people have taken one step closer to coming out in this thread.

Good for you guys!!

It would seem that you are still quite a ways away from such a thing yourself. Your constant puerile attacks reek of the mostly cliched trope of the repressed, projecting, homosexual. Some day, you'll be able to stop attacking others and accept yourself.


He does seem like he would like anal. 

His girl probably has a strap on and he takes it from her.
 
2012-11-18 10:43:46 PM  

rappy: Phony_Soldier: My question is this - will it help me get laid?

/Cause that is all that matters!

Dudes will wanna f*ck your brains out


Well, at least someone will.

/So lonely...
 
2012-11-18 10:48:13 PM  

spaten:
He does seem like he would like anal. 

His girl probably has a strap on and he takes it from her.


I mean. I'm a girl. So, there's that.
 
2012-11-18 10:52:13 PM  

rappy: spaten:
He does seem like he would like anal. 

His girl probably has a strap on and he takes it from her.

I mean. I'm a girl. So, there's that.


Sorry, didn't mean to offend you miss.
 
2012-11-18 10:53:52 PM  

LamOtter: AbbeySomeone: PrivateCaboose: Todashy:
We watched Smokey and the Bandit last month and I remembered the sexiness of the 7 0's. What happened to the men with chest hair and other manly features?

I'm one of those manly 70's looking dudes (thanks, Sicilian heritage). I tried to get metrosexual for awhile, but it's really too difficult when you've got John Travolta-level chest hair and Eugene Levy eyebrows. Just going with it is better...there aren't as many women around who like it, but when you find one, they REALLY like it.

I do have long nails on one hand though (guitarist). I wouldn't mind painting the long nails, I guess. Am I gay too?


Same here. I used to have long hair, but it has moved South for the Winter of my body. I'd bleed to death if I ever tried waxing, and laser removal would cost me a fortune. Better to accept that I'm a bald neanderthal and move on with my life.

I used to grow my pinky nails fairly long. People called it my "coke nail", but I just liked the way it looked.

Never painted my nails, but whatever floats your boat. Most women these days seem to prefer the metrosexual look
 
2012-11-18 11:08:37 PM  

Phony_Soldier: My question is this - will it help me get laid?

/Cause that is all that matters!


Well, Im trans, and mostly in guy mode, but- I do get a ton of compliments on my nails from females, so- perhaps- it can be an icebreaker. Now, soak your nails in olive oil for 10-15 minutes, towel tthem off, wash, and trim. Wash again, dry well. Have a comfy seat and take your time. best of luck

And- No! I am not joking or being sarcastic- olive oil helps the nail and you will need a comfy seat as it take me about an hour to do my nails, and I am practised at it. You will make mistakes, so have a few swabs and remover to fix errors. There are youtube videos also ....
 
2012-11-18 11:14:27 PM  
Don't use whiteout to paint your nails. Or tar.
White out is only marginally easier to remove.
 
2012-11-18 11:15:49 PM  

Phony_Soldier: My question is this - will it help me get laid?

/Cause that is all that matters!


Maybe, you have to pull it off with a not giving a shiat attitude... Women like confidence.

Don't do it in the creepy crossdressing way.
 
2012-11-18 11:25:57 PM  
Thanks, Alienated and spaten.

Those are both pro-tips!

/Unusual for fark
 
2012-11-18 11:52:27 PM  

Phony_Soldier: Thanks, Alienated and spaten.

Those are both pro-tips!

/Unusual for fark


You are quite welcome.
 
2012-11-19 12:03:17 AM  

probesport: This is as manly as manly gets

[s16.postimage.org image 492x356]


I have such a deep admiration for guys who roll around on the floor with other guys.

/he wears the required uniform
 
2012-11-19 01:33:39 AM  

Coco LaFemme: Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. You have to be sexually attracted to men for that to happen, and I don't think some nail polish will cause you to suddenly look at a guy's butt and think, "I need to snap my dick off in that."


I'm pretty sure that when people call something "gay" these days, no one is actually implying that doing/wearing that thing will actually make you gay. It just means "that's something a stereotypically effeminate gay man would wear/do".
 
2012-11-19 01:43:32 AM  
This is an Onion article, right?
 
2012-11-19 01:47:09 AM  

Rozinante: Fista-Phobia: Rozinante: I spent a good chunk of the day working on the car, and yesterday on the tractor. My nails would be ruined if I used polish. What I'm saying is they need men's press on nails.

Or gloves.

Do you know how hard it is to accessorize shop clothes? I never know whether gloves should match your coveralls or your boots. And you just can't find them in New Holland blue.


boots obviously... duh
 
2012-11-19 01:53:07 AM  
My thumb nail is black - stupid hammer. Black nail polish would be handy to hide all the gunk under my nails.
 
2012-11-19 01:54:35 AM  
Awww thooper! And fabulous! I'll finally have a color to match my big, hairy Ford truck!
 
2012-11-19 03:29:34 AM  

Gawdzila: Coco LaFemme: Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. You have to be sexually attracted to men for that to happen, and I don't think some nail polish will cause you to suddenly look at a guy's butt and think, "I need to snap my dick off in that."

I'm pretty sure that when people call something "gay" these days, no one is actually implying that doing/wearing that thing will actually make you gay. It just means "that's something a stereotypically effeminate gay man would wear/do".


I think it moved mostly into "liking what I don't like" territory about 12-15 years ago. By now it's just as played out as idiot or dumb, no one uses those for the real meanings anymore.
 
2012-11-19 04:20:21 AM  

Phony_Soldier: My question is this - will it help me get laid?

/Cause that is all that matters!


been doing my nails for 2&1/2 years and yes it definitely will

Women who would otherwise pass you by will instead initiate a conversation out of the blue
I've never had an offer of a mani and a pedi tomorrow turned down by a woman I was attracted too
It might not work so well if you are a young breeder but
If you are an older man of some means who enjoys the company and enthusiasm of younger women, definitely

cats out of the bag, now I guess
but so few will have the courage I'm not overly concerned yet
 
2012-11-19 06:10:45 AM  
Next up: MACHO TAMPONS FOR MEN!
 
2012-11-19 06:16:12 AM  
Pro-tip: It's actually "Male Polish"...
 
2012-11-19 10:08:21 AM  
Aww. Why do I always get to the fun threads late?

EvilEgg: I think the problem is, most woman aren't really going for a guy who is worried about chipping a nail.


I paint my nails. I also work with my hands for a living. And I'm also the go-to family car mechanic. I'm pretty good about wearing mechanic's gloves when doing rough stuff but my polish will chip after a couple of days. I don't really care. If they're chipped I'll just wait until I get home and remove the polish. I'll leave my nails clean for a couple of days before reapplying. And for the record, no cotton balls for me. Acetone based remover and paper towels work just fine.

NetOwl: I can see how it could help guys trying to pull off certain looks.


It works for me. At the last formal event I went to I wore this - black 3 piece, modern fit, suit with a herringbone pattern and slight shine, black dress shirt, square toe dress shoes, white tie, eye liner, and black nail polish. I got lots of compliments that night and all but one were from women.

As far as Alpha Nail, Man Glaze, and the other couple of companies marketing polish to men, no thanks. They do have nice colors. But they're farking expensive. $10-13 for a single bottle? Screw that. Sally Hansen Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear works for me. Decent colors, $2-3 a bottle, and lasts well.

/Women like the nail polish
//Straight as can be
///Guys I work with thought it was weird at first, but no one cares anymore
////Own whatever it is you do and no one can make you feel bad for it
 
2012-11-19 10:18:22 AM  
CtrlAltDestroy
///Guys I work with thought it was weird at first, but no one cares anymore
////Own whatever it is you do and no one can make you feel bad for it


I think I'm going to go shut up and not care.

Enjoy your nails, and all the female attention.

/they're not my nails, why should I give a damn?
 
2012-11-19 10:30:01 AM  

Dreamless: And hell, sometimes I'll use my gf's deodorant. fark that nonsensical marketing.

/It smells good, dammit!


I was in a store in the mall looking at clothes. A guy was holding his girlfriend's purse as she leafed through the racks. A trio of people, 2 guys and one girl, noticed. One guy made some remark that I couldn't hear. The girl said, not so quietly, "You can't say anything. You're wearing girl's shoes." He responded back, fairly loudly, "They're comfortable!"

Gyrfalcon: If a guy wants to wear dark polish, more power to him; but bear in mind everyone will think you're gay and be prepared for the looks & questions.


The looks are fun. Most of the time when someone notices, their eyes will dart to my hands, and then snap away because they don't want to be caught staring.

Novart: Ironic, since the point of nail polish is to have others look at it.


That's a common misconception when it comes to things like that, dyed hair, etc. I do it because I personally like it. I'm not an attention whore. It's entirely possible to do something different without doing it for attention.
 
2012-11-19 10:35:17 AM  

CtrlAltDestroy: It's entirely possible to do something different without doing it for attention.


Ok, possible. But you have to understand why we don't believe that when you're talking about literally painting visible parts of your body. That seems designed to attract attention. If it went on your ass or some other non-visible part of your body, it would be easier to believe that you are doing it solely because you like it. Just saying.
 
2012-11-19 10:36:48 AM  
I'll admit that I wear nail polish on a semi-regular basis. I do it mostly for myself, since I enjoy the way it looks, but also because I can occasionally be a bit of an attention whore. Well, attention whore is a bit strong, but yeah, I do enjoy the attention.

Of course, I've also been known to wear makeup. I wear eye makeup pretty regularly, and sometimes wear full makeup (mostly when going out to parties/bars), but it's usually more on the subtle end of the spectrum.

/Yes, I do consider myself somewhat genderqueer. What of it?
 
2012-11-19 03:18:45 PM  

AaronSynn: Next up: MACHO TAMPONS FOR MEN!


It's a self-fulfilling invention: once you jam it in your urethra, you're going to need it to soak up all the blood
 
2012-11-19 06:49:28 PM  
I did the black nails a few times, and didn't feel less straight for it. Found it a time consuming act of vanity, and (aside from once painting my nails with a sharpie) it was a short lived fad for me. I do see this as a continuation of the emasculation of the modern man (good/bad YMMV)... What better follow up to a work-out and manscaping than a manlycure?
 
2012-11-19 11:32:15 PM  
Okay, first off...
$9.95 for nail polish?! Any polish that costs more than $2.50 is a rip-off.

Finally our clean slate remover wipes eliminate the need to ever buy a fluffy sack of cotton balls

You realize that a kleenex or some toilet paper works just as well?

What's more, our unique click pen applicator does away with those dainty little brushes and girly nail polish containers

I wasn't aware a container could be girly. The click pen sounds like it would be useful, but not worth $9.95.

Designed specifically for men, Alpha Nail is technologically and biologically superior to anything on the market. Formulated with both Citral and Ginseng to strengthen and invigorate the nails down to the beds, our formula keeps nails harder and healthier.

Bullshiat. No polish can make your nail healthier.

Any guy who would buy this is blithering idiot.
 
2012-11-19 11:33:08 PM  
David Bowie painted his nails as Ziggy Stardust = did lots of dudes

David Bowie doesn't paint his nails now = married to a hot chick

on the other hand,

Freddie Mercury painted his nails in the 70's = didn't get AIDS

Freddie Mercury didn't paint his nails in the 80's = got AIDS
 
2012-11-19 11:38:02 PM  
EvilEgg

Four bucks for 15 pad of nail polish remover. That's what offends me. I'll take 200 cotton balls and half a liter of acetone for $5.00 instead

They make fairly cheap non-acetone remover. In fact, when I worked at a drug store, all the remover was non-acetone.

Acetone fumes are incredibly flammable and can make you sick.
 
2012-11-19 11:39:25 PM  
If you want nail polish that's marketed toward men but plays is straight, try BB Couture.

It's still expensive, though. I want a bottle of Orion's Belt nevertheless. Maybe as one of my christmas treats to myself.
 
2012-11-19 11:44:41 PM  
You know, they already do this with hair dye, with the "Just For Men" hair dye. Men's hair is no different than a woman's hair. People just get uncomfortable with the connotations of effeminacy that buying a box of Clairol with a picture of a woman on it.
 
2012-11-22 01:08:16 AM  

MeanJean: You know, they already do this with hair dye, with the "Just For Men" hair dye. Men's hair is no different than a woman's hair. People just get uncomfortable with the connotations of effeminacy that buying a box of Clairol with a picture of a woman on it.


I thought the formulations for beard hairs were a little bit different.
 
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