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(Some Manly Guy)   Introducing "Alpha Nail," nail polish for men that's 100% heterosexual   (alphanail.com) divider line 226
    More: Amusing, alpha  
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10522 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2012 at 5:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



226 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-18 04:05:04 PM
Somehow, I don't think the color is the problem with nail polish not being manly enough. I think I could get every color this company offers already.

I think the problem is, most woman aren't really going for a guy who is worried about chipping a nail.
 
2012-11-18 04:07:43 PM
Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. You have to be sexually attracted to men for that to happen, and I don't think some nail polish will cause you to suddenly look at a guy's butt and think, "I need to snap my dick off in that."

I think it's weird to see men in nail polish, but whatever floats your boat.
 
2012-11-18 04:16:49 PM

Coco LaFemme: Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. You have to be sexually attracted to men for that to happen, and I don't think some nail polish will cause you to suddenly look at a guy's butt and think, "I need to snap my dick off in that."


hmmmm, I hope reason #3 is female, cause it caused me to think that.
 
2012-11-18 04:28:35 PM
My son went through a goth phase in middle school. His mother freaked out over black fingernail polish. I wasn't thrilled but I saw no harm in fingernail polish.

But I nearly disgorged when I saw his painted toenails. I don't like that even on women. Just an anti-fetish of mine, I guess.
 
2012-11-18 04:35:55 PM
One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.
 
2012-11-18 05:11:51 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


It's not that they are living their lives.

It's the marketing of that product to me. It offends my sensibilities of what is and isn't stupid.

If other people buy into it then they are obviously moronic rubes... they don't offend me so much as scare me by their mere existence.
 
2012-11-18 05:17:58 PM
"EfficiencyNo self respecting man should ever have to buy cotton balls. Our acetone free wipes preserve the strengthening power of Alpha Nail, and come in a durable, easy to transport plastic round. 15 wipes per round."

Four bucks for 15 pad of nail polish remover. That's what offends me. I'll take 200 cotton balls and half a liter of acetone for $5.00 instead
 
2012-11-18 05:30:46 PM
Nails for men. Harder, faster, longer, sharper, pointier, er, more like penises?
 
2012-11-18 05:30:56 PM
assets.motivationalgenerator.com
 
2012-11-18 05:31:57 PM
That website is ridiculous.
 
2012-11-18 05:32:23 PM
applejack.ponychan.net
 
2012-11-18 05:33:28 PM
Gay. NTTIAWWT
 
2012-11-18 05:33:49 PM
So it is one of those, I'm not gay but the guy applying it while giving me a hummer is things?
 
2012-11-18 05:34:00 PM
lol. homos.
 
2012-11-18 05:34:27 PM
Welp, that finishes out my Christmas wish list.
 
2012-11-18 05:34:36 PM
I can see how it could help guys trying to pull off certain looks. Especially young, hip(ster) looks.

Not my thing, but I have boring (but reliable) fashion sense.


I don't get how dressing to make yourself appealing to women makes you gay, but I don't understand the macho posturing culture at all. (Okay, I actually do understand what the point is supposed to be, and I've observed enough of this kind of behavior to have a good idea of where these guys's insecurities lie, but it's still stupid.)
 
2012-11-18 05:34:44 PM
hahahahaha
 
2012-11-18 05:35:26 PM
Wearing nail polish is about as gay as talking with a lisp, and saying everything is just super fabulous.

/ nttawwt
 
2012-11-18 05:35:39 PM
Oh, come on. You can look like this guy and be surrounded by bimbos

www.alphanail.com
 
2012-11-18 05:36:41 PM

whatshisname: Oh, come on. You can look like this guy and be surrounded by bimbos

[www.alphanail.com image 321x284]


I'd hit it, even with nail polish on
 
2012-11-18 05:36:53 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


Then what the fark are we supposed to do for entertainment? A dude can only beat meat so many times a day.
 
2012-11-18 05:37:00 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-18 05:37:16 PM
Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay
 
2012-11-18 05:37:48 PM
Don't care about the gay/manly thing. If there's a market for it, fine, whatever. But it seems like someone's always trying to sell men on women's products by reframing it as masculine (body wash, body scrubs, nail polish, shampoo, creams, anal lube, etc)
 
2012-11-18 05:38:29 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


No, that won't ever happen. Even commenting on what other people care about is caring how those people spend their lives. Fark itself relies on this.

Also, people love to gossip.
 
2012-11-18 05:39:11 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


Not that Obamacare is now in effect.
 
2012-11-18 05:39:16 PM
White people problems.
 
2012-11-18 05:39:33 PM

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay


hahahahaha

you write pony songs? and you wear glitter nailpolish. you're gay you just don't know it yet
 
2012-11-18 05:40:06 PM
I went through a phase where I wore nail polish, and I'm a dude. Didn't make me gay.

Course, I only wore it on one nail.

And it was clear.

And I was wearing it because I had a brittle nail that kept splitting and NutriNail kept it from doing that. Painful sumbiatch.

Diet changes cured that nail issue, though.
 
2012-11-18 05:40:43 PM

EvilEgg: "EfficiencyNo self respecting man should ever have to buy cotton balls. Our acetone free wipes preserve the strengthening power of Alpha Nail, and come in a durable, easy to transport plastic round. 15 wipes per round."

Four bucks for 15 pad of nail polish remover. That's what offends me. I'll take 200 cotton balls and half a liter of acetone for $5.00 instead


Right, because buying cotton balls would be unmanly.
 
2012-11-18 05:41:56 PM

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay


Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. It does, however, make me assume you're gay. But in DC, that's just a safe bet.
 
2012-11-18 05:42:52 PM

andrewagill: Diet changes cured that nail issue, though.


ct.fra.bz
 
2012-11-18 05:43:02 PM
I much prefer Manglaze. Alpha Nail is... uh how do I put this... douchey in their vibe. They take 'emselves WAY too seriously, and it's hilarous.

http://www.manglaze.com
 
2012-11-18 05:44:26 PM
Please. I know someone that went to college with Alpha Nail, and they say it "experimented" with guys during sophomore year.
 
2012-11-18 05:44:33 PM
Alpha Nail is technologically and biologically superior to anything on the market. Formulated with both Citral and Ginseng to strengthen and invigorate the nails down to the beds, our formula keeps nails harder and healthier.

That is clearly some high-tech shiat right there.
 
2012-11-18 05:45:35 PM

dorkymidgetqueen: I much prefer Manglaze. Alpha Nail is... uh how do I put this... douchey in their vibe. They take 'emselves WAY too seriously, and it's hilarous.

http://www.manglaze.com


There's nothing gay at all about a product called man glaze, nope, nothing at all.

/may as well call it baby batter
 
2012-11-18 05:46:15 PM
Are people still liking things other people don't like?

Shame on them!
 
2012-11-18 05:47:02 PM

NetOwl:
I don't get how dressing to make yourself appealing to women makes you gay, but I don't understand the macho posturing culture at all. (Okay, I actually do understand what the point is supposed to be, and I've observed enough of this kind of behavior to have a good idea of where these guys's insecurities lie, but it's still stupid.)


Painting yourself like a woman is supposed to attract women? I think there's a self-defeating flaw in that. NTTAWW any of the people involved, just a certain incompatibilty.

I'll admit my views on the whole metrosexual thing are lagging a decade or three behind. If they want to preen and look pretty, I'm not going to stop them, but I reserve the right to quietly snicker behind their backs.

whatshisname: Oh, come on. You can look like this guy and be surrounded by bimbos

[www.alphanail.com image 321x284]


He's not surrounded, just flanked.
 
2012-11-18 05:47:16 PM
This is as manly as manly gets

s16.postimage.org
 
2012-11-18 05:47:22 PM
i1199.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-18 05:47:35 PM
Sure to be a Farker Stocking Stuffer favorite this shopping season, if you know what I mean....

And I think you do...
 
2012-11-18 05:48:02 PM
Yeah. I wore nail polish in college during my, "I think I'm David Bowie" phase. I have NEVER done as well with the ladies as I did during that phase of my life. (Of course that's half to do with just being ON a stage and playing Any type of music than the nail polish.)

The point is that I just called it nail polish and eyeliner. I knew what I was putting on.
 
2012-11-18 05:49:01 PM
It starts at birth with blue and pink baby rooms and clothes. Then boy dolls and girl dolls. Then lunch boxes with cars and some with princesses.

I can get all of that kind of.

But why do we have skincare for men and women, shampoos for men and women, razors for men and women, and now different nail polish for men? I've heard of men who won't use a skincare product if it doesn't specifically say it's for a man on it.

Virginia Slims even capitalized on the women's movement with "You've come a long way, baby."

Men end up paying a fortune for specialized skincare and now makeup and nail polish. It's all the same stuff.

I don't really find it interesting or scandalizing at all that men wear make-up or nail polish. You see it in rock and roll all the time. It's the making-it-OK marketing that is so fascinating to me.
 
2012-11-18 05:49:35 PM

probesport: This is as manly as manly gets

[s16.postimage.org image 492x356]


You know he's straight 'cause of the posters.
 
2012-11-18 05:50:40 PM
Nail Polish?

www.kcconfidential.com
 
2012-11-18 05:50:45 PM

swingerofbirches: It starts at birth with blue and pink baby rooms and clothes. Then boy dolls and girl dolls. Then lunch boxes with cars and some with princesses.

I can get all of that kind of.

But why do we have skincare for men and women, shampoos for men and women, razors for men and women, and now different nail polish for men? I've heard of men who won't use a skincare product if it doesn't specifically say it's for a man on it.

Virginia Slims even capitalized on the women's movement with "You've come a long way, baby."

Men end up paying a fortune for specialized skincare and now makeup and nail polish. It's all the same stuff.

I don't really find it interesting or scandalizing at all that men wear make-up or nail polish. You see it in rock and roll all the time. It's the making-it-OK marketing that is so fascinating to me.


Two words. Focus groups.
 
2012-11-18 05:50:56 PM
Is there something I can put on my nails that will let them take a razor sharp edge? Because if not, I'm not buying it.

//watched too much kung fu as a kid
 
2012-11-18 05:51:14 PM
gateway
 
2012-11-18 05:51:15 PM
hhahahahah roger huerta, c'mon man

this article deserves to be in the sports tab as well
 
2012-11-18 05:51:52 PM

Fista-Phobia: [i1199.photobucket.com image 371x476]


Smile for the camera, sweethart!
 
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