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(JSOnline)   Wild turkey causes blackout   (jsonline.com) divider line 43
    More: Obvious, Sheboygan, wild turkeys, punching power, pre-emptive strike, The Sheboygan Press  
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4487 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2012 at 9:27 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-18 09:28:50 AM
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fry.
 
2012-11-18 09:29:19 AM
Is Adjective Bird Whiskey trying to have himself a one-man Fark Party?
 
2012-11-18 09:30:46 AM
But what happened to the turkey?!
 
2012-11-18 09:31:08 AM
heh. yeah, that'll do it.
 
2012-11-18 09:33:34 AM
Kill the turkeys. They should have a holiday where we eat them.
 
2012-11-18 09:37:35 AM
All that was left was his snood.
 
2012-11-18 09:39:02 AM
But I thought the Fark admins drank Maker's Mark.
 
2012-11-18 09:39:44 AM
It certainly does.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-18 09:40:05 AM
Whoda thunk it?
 
2012-11-18 09:43:13 AM
Bravo, subby.
 
2012-11-18 09:44:13 AM
CSB: One time in Hoboken I was participating in a beer pong tourney at an Elk's Club. They had kegs of Yuengling and a couple bottles of wild turkey. Toward the end of the night someone was playing a joke by filling a solo cup halfway with the wild turkey, pretending it was Yuengling, and trying to get people to chug it. Most people sniffed it or took a sip and figured it out, but already being quite hammered I just grabbed it and chugged it. Next thing I recall is waking up in my hotel room with a rather annoyed girlfriend who said the worst of it was when I stole one of the beer pong tables and ran down the streets of Hoboken with it trying to find our party bus and then crammed it on board.
 
2012-11-18 09:45:32 AM
fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net

OMG THEY'RE TAKING OVER MY BACKYARD!
 
2012-11-18 09:56:37 AM

jtown: It certainly does.


As someone who will be picking up a friend from jail in a few minutes, I can confirm.
 
2012-11-18 09:57:36 AM
Was the turkey cooked to 160 degrees?
 
2012-11-18 10:04:12 AM
Tryptophan... I think.

seinfeld.jpg
 
2012-11-18 10:05:00 AM
jtown: It certainly does.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 315x608]


Shakes tiny fist
 
2012-11-18 10:09:17 AM
Ah man, it was a real turkey and not some drunk or the actual distillery as the cause.
 
2012-11-18 10:12:59 AM
media.egotvonline.com

/sorry
 
2012-11-18 10:21:35 AM
Take the turkey feeder off the power line now.
 
2012-11-18 10:42:42 AM
CSB: Camping trip, drinking Wild Turkey strait out of the bottle. One of my friends goes off in the woods to pee. 20 min later still not back. We can't find him because he's wearing all camouflageand he's passed out in a pile of leaves . Someone tripped over him, that's how we found him.

Someone else passed out by the campfire and pissed their pants.
 
2012-11-18 11:04:15 AM

ButterMule


But what happened to the turkey?!


His goose was cooked.
 
2012-11-18 11:09:05 AM
RIP Gobbles

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-18 11:10:12 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: ButterMule

But what happened to the turkey?!


His goose was cooked.


That's nobody's business.
 
JVD
2012-11-18 11:12:49 AM
Fitting title for Wisconsin.
 
2012-11-18 11:19:30 AM

cleveoh


That's nobody's business.


So... not Constantinople, then.
 
2012-11-18 11:23:02 AM
Making the first of several batches of cranberry chutney today.

Also drinking. And the Saints play Raider Nation.

GOBBLES!
 
2012-11-18 11:32:30 AM

JVD: Fitting title for Wisconsin.


As someone from Wisconsin who took a shot of Turkey 101 during a fantasy draft for every white guy taken, I resemble that remark.

/It was a few years ago now
//Damn you, Mike Bibby!
 
2012-11-18 11:39:49 AM
www.mobileddl.com
 
2012-11-18 11:45:45 AM
Mr. Wookies band is called Wyld Turkeez.

/true story
 
2012-11-18 12:24:34 PM

cyberbenali: [fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net image 400x300]

OMG THEY'RE TAKING OVER MY BACKYARD!


Yet people still claim we dont need semi-automatic rifles with high capacity magazines. Without those how are we going to repel the delicious turkey invaders?
 
2012-11-18 12:45:19 PM
Jeebus. That must have been one big farking bird.
 
2012-11-18 12:49:45 PM
I refer to blacking out as "time traveling".
 
2012-11-18 01:04:26 PM
I'll bet every day is shpadoinkle in Sheboygan.
 
2012-11-18 01:33:34 PM
The windshield in my truck was nearly caved in by a flying wild turkey.

i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-18 01:34:43 PM
Yeah, but I bet it smelled delicious.
 
2012-11-18 01:35:21 PM
Wild Turkey Surprise?
i.ytimg.com
 
2012-11-18 01:46:26 PM
Wild Turkey->Funky Chicken
 
2012-11-18 02:06:19 PM

Repo Man: The windshield in my truck was nearly caved in by a flying wild turkey.


Tangentially related csb time!

Many moons ago, I was driving home. I noticed that a turkey was flying infront of and parallel to my to my truck. He started banking toward the roadway; it was like an action movie. The turkey hit the top of my truck's grill, bounced over the cab, hitting the roof and finally bounced on the tailgate, nearly landing in the bed of the truck. I thought about going back for it, but decided that any turkey dumb enough to bank right into my truck probably wouldn't be good to eat.

/ also tangentially related csb: when ever I said silly things in my granny's presence; she'd call me a turkey.
 
2012-11-18 02:13:48 PM
It's a little known fact that turkeys generate a low level electromagnetic field.
 
2012-11-18 02:25:34 PM

Repo Man: The windshield in my truck was nearly caved in by a flying wild turkey.

[i48.tinypic.com image 640x480]


Ive seen small aircraft with dents that size in various places courtesy of bird hits. Worst was a 152 Cessna that nearly lost its horizontal tail plane due to a Turkey Vulture strike. Pilot made a mistake...he saw the bird coming and dove...which is a bad thing since birds always dive to avoid obstacles. The rule to avoid birds is to climb.
 
2012-11-18 02:34:52 PM
It's all part of the War on Thanksgiving Conspiracy.

10 Things the Powers of Evil and Darkness are Doing to Destroy Thanksgiving

10. Putting Christmas decorations and goods out before Halloween.
9. Guilting us about eating grotesquely obese commercial turkeys instead of Nature's own perfect
food, the wild turkey.
8. Oven Top Stuffing and other supposedly time-saving dishes that require more time washng-up
than they save us cooking-time.
7. Holding us up to impossible to maintain Martha Stewart standards of hospitality, cooking,
decoration, etc.
6. Feeding us lies about peaceful relations and friendship between the Puritans and Indians.
5. Playing football games during a holiday, thus guarantng maximum levels of boredom, ennui,
and division among family members.
4. Fox preempts our beloved cartoons and shows for football, thus ruining the weekend for everybody.
3. Wild Turkey ruins more holidays than dry, over-cooked turkey.
2. Driving a wedge between the world's religions.
1. Forcing us to be thankful with our farking families instead of people we like and with whom we share
our politics and values.

And who is behind the Powers of Evil and Darkness? The turkeys. They are trying to destroy all of the major turkey-cooking holidays.

REMEMBER: EAT MORE LAMB AND MINT JELLY.

We can still save a traditional Easter dinner if we try. 

Brought to you by the New Zealand Lamb Growers Association (NZLGA)
 
2012-11-18 03:30:39 PM
+1
 
2012-11-19 03:02:00 PM
I did not need to click that link to know that was the perfect headline.

+1 subby
 
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