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(Buzzfeed)   34 insanely simple, two-ingredient recipes. Yet more proof that Nutella is the duct tape of the kitchen   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 82
    More: Cool, room temperatures, seasons, steam  
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10372 clicks; posted to Geek » on 18 Nov 2012 at 10:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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kab
2012-11-18 03:41:35 PM
Nutella is farking disgusting.

/thread.
 
2012-11-18 03:59:50 PM

kab: Nutella is farking disgusting.

/thread.


You're disgusting.

/Thread reopened.
 
2012-11-18 04:10:19 PM
Baaaaaad thing to read while dieting... on the other hand, since I'm dieting I don't have any of those things in the house, except oatmeal and dates.
 
2012-11-18 04:11:01 PM
Phone + cash = damn near anything you want
 
2012-11-18 04:35:29 PM
Some were interesting, most were sugar + sugar = something else sweet, and then there was

Broccoli Florets + Garlic Hummus = Creamy Garlic Broccoli

Really? Raw vegetables in hummus? Earthshattering.
 
2012-11-18 04:36:54 PM

aerojockey: You complainers might want to contact the author about this. The author obviously had no idea that nutella and self-rising flour contain multiple ingredients, and is probably completely ignorant of the unfathomable devastation this piece of misinformation is causing.


More like he's the kind of idiot that thinks meat grows on trees prepackaged.
 
2012-11-18 05:48:57 PM
steak plus fire = steak
 
2012-11-18 06:13:07 PM
List fails without beer bread,

2 cups self rising flour per bottle of Guinness. That's it.

And it is goooooooooood.
 
2012-11-18 06:14:58 PM

verbaltoxin: kab: Nutella is farking disgusting.

/thread.

You're disgusting.

/Thread reopened.


YOU'RE a towel.

/thread the needle
 
2012-11-18 07:33:23 PM
No bologna+ritz cracker sandwiches?
 
2012-11-18 07:42:20 PM
Wasabi powder + soy sauce or teriyaki. Or use powdered mustard instead of the wasabi powder

/yeah, I know wasabi powder isn't real wasabi
 
2012-11-18 07:44:14 PM
1c yogert
1T buttermilk
Let sit on counter overnight
: creme freish
 
2012-11-18 08:00:38 PM

wildcardjack: If Nutella is the duct tape of the kitchen then BACON is the gaffers tape of the kitchen.

/gaffers tape gets shiat done.
//At $25 a roll.


Suddenly my feet are feet of mud.
It all goes slo-mo.
I don't know why I'm crying.
Am I suspended in gaffa?
Not 'til I'm ready for you,
Not 'til I'm ready for you
Can I have it all?

Now Kate Bush makes more sense when you realize she's been singing about bacon all this time.
 
2012-11-18 08:02:19 PM
Flat beer (or microwave it for about 45 seconds to flatten it) + flour = all purpose beer batter.
 
2012-11-18 08:13:23 PM
Macaroni.

Cheese.

/you're welcome
 
2012-11-18 08:28:31 PM
woman + kitchen = dinner
 
2012-11-18 08:34:01 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Well of course you have to get out your tweezers and get rid of the middle-aged atoms with their bifocals and beer bellies. They don't make for tasty food. I wonder what happens to all the old atoms in old people when they die. Is there like a pile of old, slow carbon atoms out there that we shouldn't use anymore?


you are by far the funniest life-extension nutter I've (n)ever met. :-)
 
2012-11-18 08:49:32 PM

max_pooper: woman + kitchen = dinner


You must eat out often.
 
2012-11-18 09:01:12 PM

uttertosh: Quantum Apostrophe: Well of course you have to get out your tweezers and get rid of the middle-aged atoms with their bifocals and beer bellies. They don't make for tasty food. I wonder what happens to all the old atoms in old people when they die. Is there like a pile of old, slow carbon atoms out there that we shouldn't use anymore?

you are by far the funniest life-extension nutter I've (n)ever met. :-)


What's funny is that some people who think they're smart actually believe atoms have an age and therefore our lifespans are somehow set by (wrong) physics. These are the same people who also believe actual physics won't apply for their space colonies, 3D printed cars, warp drives and space elevators.

To me, that's funny.
 
2012-11-18 09:42:28 PM
flour + eggs = pasta

1 cup flour (about) to 1 egg.

read this:

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pasta-recipes/a-basic-recipe-for- fr esh-egg-pasta
 
2012-11-18 10:19:24 PM
Ketchup + butter = Honey Boo Boo sketti sauce
 
2012-11-18 10:33:54 PM

Dead for Tax Reasons: Insanely easy 1 ingredient recipe: beer=liquid lunch


Crack a raw egg into it = Insanely easy 2 ingredient breakfast. 


/ and provides for a balanced diet!
 
2012-11-18 11:05:22 PM
Three eggs + One medium-size red potato = breakfast

All right, it's technically six ingredients, since I use a combination of butter and peanut oil to fry the potato slices (butter for flavor, peanut oil for crazy high smoke-point so I can cook them quickly), and season with salt and pepper.
 
2012-11-18 11:21:51 PM

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: [img69.imageshack.us image 320x240]

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[img94.imageshack.us image 320x213] 

Anyone who uses that disgusting crap in a kitchen must think Cheetos count as dairy. Might as well add a metric assload of sugar to a bucket of lard and dig into that with a big spoon.

Horribly disgusting "recipe" list, looks like the shopping list of morbidly obese white trash riding an electric wheelchair in Walmart.


A school teacher introduced my children to Nutella. One loves it and has completely replaced the jelly in his/her peanut butter sandwiches. If s/he were replacing the peanut butter with Nutella, I would have a hissy fit, but with 3 grams of protein per serving, Nutella is marginally more nutritious than jelly. More annoying to me, is that my children have always eaten a low sugar, low salt peanut butter with three ingredients total. My mother recently sent them a jar of Peter Pan peanut butter. It's so full of sugar it doesn't even taste like peanut butter. Naturally, the picky eater, the one who consistently has nutrition related health problems; wants no peanut butter except Peter Pan. I am continuing to buy the brand I prefer. The child is allowed to buy Peter Pan with his/her allowance. That made eating the peanut butter I buy a bit more appealing. And mind you, I don't buy one of those weird organic brands "sweetened" with raisin juice or some nonsense. It's just ordinary peanut butter without quite so much salt and sugar.
 
2012-11-18 11:34:11 PM
Nut ella - hopefully its not Dick's Special Sauce.
 
2012-11-19 12:20:00 AM

Lunaville: Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: [img69.imageshack.us image 320x240]

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[img248.imageshack.us image 320x240][img248.imageshack.us image 320x240]

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[img27.imageshack.us image 320x240][img27.imageshack.us image 320x240][img27.imageshack.us image 320x240]



[img94.imageshack.us image 320x213] 

Anyone who uses that disgusting crap in a kitchen must think Cheetos count as dairy. Might as well add a metric assload of sugar to a bucket of lard and dig into that with a big spoon.

Horribly disgusting "recipe" list, looks like the shopping list of morbidly obese white trash riding an electric wheelchair in Walmart.

A school teacher introduced my children to Nutella. One loves it and has completely replaced the jelly in his/her peanut butter sandwiches. If s/he were replacing the peanut butter with Nutella, I would have a hissy fit, but with 3 grams of protein per serving, Nutella is marginally more nutritious than jelly. More annoying to me, is that my children have always eaten a low sugar, low salt peanut butter with three ingredients total. My mother recently sent them a jar of Peter Pan peanut butter. It's so full of sugar it doesn't even taste like peanut butter. Naturally, the picky eater, the one who consistently has nutrition related health problems; wants no peanut butter except Peter Pan. I am continuing to buy the brand I prefer. The child is allowed to buy Peter Pan with his/her allowance. That made eating the peanut butter I buy a bit more appealing. And mind you, I don't buy one of those weird organic brands "sweetened" with raisin juice or some nonsense. It's just ordinary peanut butter without quite so much salt and sugar.


Might I ask what peanut butter you buy? I'm always looking to carve sugar out of places it has no business being in.
 
2012-11-19 01:44:49 AM

Lunaville: (...)I don't buy one of those weird organic brands "sweetened" with raisin juice or some nonsense. It's just ordinary peanut butter without quite so much salt and sugar.


Tried almond butter? I have a jar right now, and that stuff rocks. Usually without so much of the PB crud in it, either.
 
2012-11-19 02:24:41 AM
yah, Nutella blows. If you use Nutella for anything other than a once or twice-weekly spread on bread, you probably have the palate sophistication of a teenaged girl. Hazlenuts and chocolate are good, useful ingredients. Nutella is flavored vegetable oil.
 
2012-11-19 02:37:47 AM

wildcardjack: max_pooper: woman + kitchen = dinner

You must eat out often.


Brilliant!

That has two meanings, and both make sense.

/same way to get a guy to do things

anfrind: Three eggs + One medium-size red potato = breakfast

All right, it's technically six ingredients, since I use a combination of butter and peanut oil to fry the potato slices (butter for flavor, peanut oil for crazy high smoke-point so I can cook them quickly), and season with salt and pepper.


We'll fry up left-over potato's. Mashed make good garlic patties(can add cream cheese as well).

Baked or boiled, cut in cubes and seasoned to taste, then fried. Soft on the inside, crispy on the out. Frying raw potato doesn't work so hot, imo, because they're generally the same on the outside but still hard if not crunchy(still raw) in the middle, blech. You've got to slow cook raw potato's to get rid of that consistancy if that's an issue to you. Otherwise, have at it if you like or don't mind them hard. I like a potato cooked to the point it is near mush, they also soak up the butter / seasoning this way.

Another contribution to something easy:

Easy party dip(A go-to for a brother of mine but stupid easy)
Full container of each(if you get normal sizes, not sam's club huge..)
Velveeta
Sourcream(helps with the goopy when cooled)
Chicken breast(boiled then cubed, already enough butter and any flavorings from frying will eek into the cheese) Shredded if you like the meat flavor to mix thoroughly, but I prefer a burst of the earthy / bland of the meat when cubed, sets off the spice of the salsa.
Salsa

All in a crockpot/slowcooker.

Can easily add a large variety of things to taste: small cans/jars of olives, cream cheese, sliced jalapenos, garlic, sub in pork or italian sausage fried up like loose hamburger if you want double the grease and flavor on top of the processed dairy...worth it on rare occasion. Just the sausage + cheese = Eyes roll back in your head good, imo, but you can feel your arteries clog with each bite.
We tried a slight BBQ flavor additive once, wasn't a fan but some may dig it.
 
2012-11-19 02:40:19 AM

omeganuepsilon: We'll fry up left-over potato's.


As a side for breakfasts normally, but occasionally a pinch and hit supper.
 
2012-11-19 07:40:04 AM
One package of Oreos (flavors are fun)
Two packages of cream cheese (sweet flavors can e good here as well)
One brick of almond bark (white or milk chocolate)

Crush Oreos.
Mesh Oreo remnants w cream cheese and roll into testicle size balls
Melt Almond Back
dunk balls into almond bark

= Chefʻs Chocolate Salty Balls.
 
2012-11-19 10:59:19 AM
Ugh I hate Nutella, I didn't even know what it was until I saw a bottle at my hubby's house. Ick, it tastes nasty, like regular peanut butter.

I love smuckers all-natural, back in the 90's it was the only brand I was allowed to eat as a kid and thank god.
 
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