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(Some Guy)   Continuing this month's parade of bizarre Christmas gifts: The Mullet Calendar   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

12908 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2003 at 4:08 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

47 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-12-04 04:12:03 PM  
Mullets are 16 minutes ago. No longer funny, as if they were to begin with.
2003-12-04 04:12:23 PM  
Hmm. I think I'll mullet this over for a bit.
2003-12-04 04:12:51 PM  
I wish I had an image host - I've got pics of the drunken creation of a mullet on my suitemates head in College - they're great.

it should go without saying, but a lot of Pabst was involved.
2003-12-04 04:12:52 PM  
Name overheard on the police scanner last week . . . "Bubba Mullets."
2003-12-04 04:13:12 PM  
Wow. That's some bad photoshopping!
2003-12-04 04:13:37 PM  
$12 for this pile of garbage?

The mullets could at least be REAL!
2003-12-04 04:13:48 PM  
Mullets are particularly not funny when it's a common female hairstyle here in Pittsburgh.
2003-12-04 04:13:50 PM  
Another server brought to its knees by the power of FARK!!!
2003-12-04 04:16:36 PM  
...yeah, been there done that. For WTO (white trash olympics), I think butt-rock is the new hotness. Find the compilation "Goin South" and let 'er rip.

Or, are we moving away from ripping on 'rurally challenged' Euro Americans and moving to, say, Jews and Mexicans?

Remember, if you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people!
2003-12-04 04:16:46 PM  
the sites farked, cause there's 100's of farkers waiting and waiting for new posts, and then we get this farking site!! What's going on??
2003-12-04 04:18:29 PM  
Here's a mullet pin-up boy. No matter where you go in the room, it seems like his ass follows you.
2003-12-04 04:19:31 PM  
ChicoEscuela -
Or, are we moving away from ripping on 'rurally challenged' Euro Americans and moving to, say, Jews and Mexicans?

i dont get it.
2003-12-04 04:20:39 PM  
My lady's brother has long-ish hair in the back, which I think looks stupid on a male no matter what... but he ordinarily keeps it in a sort of pony tail. Much to my co-mingled delight and horror, he shows up on Thanksgiving Day with no hat on, and his long hair in the back blow-dried for extra puffy-/frizzness. It's just your classic mullet. His hair is black, past his neck in back, blow-dried frizzy and to top it all off, he's got a bald-spot forming on the top rear of his head. I look over and I see this, and I just lost all control. I was right in the middle of making the gravy and almost burned my roux because I was laughing so hard and couldn't pay attention to what I was doing.

He's a good guy - and he takes the people pointing and laughing at him in stride. He even laughs at himself... but still. Dude, you wouldn't have to laugh at yourself if you cut your hair.

I was like "Matt... I didn't hear your Trans-Am pull up." haha he doesn't really have one but when faced with such mulletude, things like trailers, Pabst and trans-ams immediately come to mind.
2003-12-04 04:21:14 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-04 04:22:01 PM  
that website is a waste of bandwidth.
2003-12-04 04:24:30 PM  

i gotta say, this mullet shiat was never funny.
2003-12-04 04:24:43 PM  
GIS for "christmas mullet"

[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-04 04:25:51 PM  

Mullets are particularly not funny when it's a common female hairstyle here in Pittsburgh.

You mean like this with the two-tone? Some people just can't part ways with their mullet!

[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-04 04:26:09 PM  
The only thing sadder than a mullet is a fakey photoshopped mullet
2003-12-04 04:26:49 PM  
That link wasn't funny or interesting. Unlike recent new fark cliche's concerning primates and explosives.
2003-12-04 04:30:16 PM  
Kingston, Ont. - Home of the Mullet.

And I do not say this to be funny, it's a simple fact.

2003-12-04 04:30:42 PM  
The link is not opening for me, so I guess I miss out on the mullet article. I know a couple people that have a mullet. When I say something to them about it, they deny that it is a mullet, but I think they are trying to make up for the lack of hair on top.
2003-12-04 04:31:05 PM  
I'm sorry, but I think mullets are hilarious. It's the official white trash haircut. White Trash = Funny.
2003-12-04 04:33:29 PM  
There is nothing, I repeat, nothing cooler than a mullet.
2003-12-04 04:34:47 PM  

That is a funny story! I love the touch you added about the Trans-Am.

However, I laughed more when you said, "...I was right in the middle of making the gravy and almost burned my roux because I was laughing so hard and couldn't pay attention to what I was doing.

Gravy makers know how important a good roux is! :)

It's good he has a good sense of humor about it which makes it all the more funny.
2003-12-04 04:36:18 PM  

No, ridiculing European-Americans due to their heritage and economic status is here to stay. It's socially acceptable bigotry, and the terms "white trash" ,"mullethead", and "redneck" are not considered offensive. You will not be thrown out of parties for telling offensive jokes, and indeed you may become the hit of the party. Check your NYT style guide for details.
2003-12-04 04:37:21 PM  
Sadly, these weren't real mullets. I love laughing at real mullets. These were crappy photoshops of geek icons with mullets. The people making the calendar thought they were clever as hell. But they are lame as hell.
2003-12-04 04:40:45 PM  
No Photoshops of the Taliban leader Mullet Omarr?
2003-12-04 04:50:05 PM  
Man, if I could only find a white guy that was offended by mullet humor we could have it outlawed.....

Democracy: Majority beats minority, minority beats one offended guy, one offended guy beats majority. It's the true balance of power.
2003-12-04 04:51:59 PM  
I always think there's something fishy about mullets.
2003-12-04 05:01:40 PM  
No Catchy Nickname

I always think there's something fishy about mullets.

Mullet wearers are mostly Pisces, and they work for scale.
2003-12-04 05:06:01 PM  
I don't get it, I'll have to "mull it" over for a while...

/really, really sorry, it's just such a slow Fark day...
2003-12-04 05:10:17 PM  
There was a song a while back 80's-90's where they used different types of fish in it. The chorus was something like "I think I had a wet dream cruising down the gulf stream" and another line was something like "not tonight, I think I have a haddock".

Does anyone know what I'm talking about or did I just imagine the song while in a drug-induced haze?
2003-12-04 05:22:56 PM  
Wet Dreams
by Kip Addotta


It was April the forty-first
Being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My barracuda was in the shop
So I was in a rented stingray
And it was overheating

So I pulled into a Shell Station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing
And leave my private life out of it
Okay pal?"

While they were doing that
I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real dive
But I knew the owner
He used to play for the Dolphins
I said "Hi Gil"
You have to yell, he's hard of herring

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream

Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is he was barely keeping his head below water
I bellied up to the sandbar
He poured me the usual

Rusty snail, hold the grunion
Shaken not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side
Heavy on the mako

I slipped him a fin
On porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids
For the halibut

Well the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal
What sole

Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna
Salmon Chanted Evening
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player

One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she's giving me the eye
So I figured this is my chance for a little fun
You know, piece of Pisces

But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a . . .
She drank a lot

I said "What's your sign"
She said "Aquarium"
I said "Great, let's get tanked"

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream

I invited her to my place for a midnight bait
I said "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
"Not tonight, I gotta haddock"

And she wasn't kidding either
Cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock
I'd ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels

He came over to me and said
"Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here"
What a crab
This guy was steamed
I could see the anchor in his eyes

I turned to him, I said
"A-balone, you're just being shellfish"
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil
Cause he was already on the phone to the cods

The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke but there he was
Lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel

I said "Forget the cods Gil
This guy's gonna need a sturgeon"
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said
"Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish
What's your name"
I said "Marlin"

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream

Well, from then on we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner, I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble
A case of the clams

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
2003-12-04 05:31:03 PM  
2003-12-04 05:22:56 PM LisaPeace:

Thank you!!!! I always got such a kick out of that song...
2003-12-04 05:33:21 PM  
A thought I had last month... the goatee is the new mullet.

2003-12-04 05:40:23 PM  
The Southern Dandy
I also thank you for the reference.

For those of you that do not find mullets amusing, check out the Nuns Having Fun Calendar and also check out the back view
2003-12-04 05:42:28 PM  
Girly Girl - hehe, glad you liked the story. :)

I left out the part about him wearing a frickin' button-down shirt with like the top 2 buttons undone, complete with gold chain around his neck. God, what a farkin' Larry. I mean, it's my lady's sister and she and I both love him to death but damn is he an oakball. Oh and his girlfriend brought one of those ambrosia salads... you know, with the marshmallows in the green stuff? With the shredded coconut? What the hell is that supposed to be? It's like the quintessential redneck potluck dish.

I'm over here with a gorgeous turkey stuffed with my own stuffing, cranberry and pear relish, candied sweet potatoes, apple-pecan spoonbread, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, pan-juice gravy, etc. and these two walk in, sporting a mullet and some marshmallow ambrosia. Oh and he reeked of like, Stetson or Chaps or something like that. God it was too much. I swear, I felt like I was living a sketch from Saturday Night Live or something. :)
2003-12-04 05:45:11 PM  
Oh, and for those of you who may not have had the pleasure of this most hilarious site yet:

Check this out.

and, although it's not directly related, it happens to be hilarious too:

Great stuff.

2003-12-04 05:48:06 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Cut the mullet, you numbskull!
2003-12-04 06:16:43 PM  

/you know it
2003-12-04 06:20:56 PM  
I have to say that "Mean Stephen Hawking" made me lol0rz in my shorts. I had a dream once that he was a wherewolf . . . but was still disabled. Don't be too mad though, he and Sagan are two of my biggest heroes.

2003-12-04 06:22:15 PM  

Those ARE derogatory, racist slurs.
(well, not mullethead)
2003-12-04 06:46:56 PM  

[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-04 10:20:56 PM  
This mullet shot of Bill Gates makes him look like Bono. Or Jon Bon Jovi.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-05 12:24:50 AM  
I just went to my wife's 20th HS reunion. There was not one, not two, but FIVE dudes with mullets.

What the fark?

Have you seen 37 year olds with mullets? It's not pretty.
2003-12-05 11:26:03 AM  
It appears that this site lets anyone publish a book (or, in this case, a calendar). Are there no standards anymore?
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