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(Entertainment Weekly)   Sixteen year-old girl who wrote a piece of fan fiction about a teenager caught in a love triangle with two members of One Direction gets a book deal out of her story. So this is the future of literature   (shelf-life.ew.com) divider line 88
    More: Sick, ya novels  
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2749 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Nov 2012 at 9:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-18 03:01:59 AM

QT_3.14159: As a writer of smutty Star Wars (specifically kotor) fanfic, I'd like to think that one day this could be me...

/*gigglesnort*


Let me know when the newest one is out, you know the one where Hanharr and Kreia bang while Bao-Dur gives himself a mechanical stranger in the corner and T3 is set to vibrate.
 
2012-11-18 03:16:13 AM

MurphyMurphy: quatchi: As a complete aside here, I thought the rule of thumb for Boy Bands was that one of the boys had to be straight.

Apparently One Direction never got that memo.

fixed


Nsync didn't get that memo either. 2 "band members" from that "band" are gay. There's a photo floating around Reddit of 1 direction from the back and one of the guys has his hand on the ass of another.
 
2012-11-18 03:20:11 AM
Just wait until my X-Men Gambit/Pyro vore fanfiction hits the shelves of your local CVS. Here's I'll give you guys a taste.

When Remy turned away to put the knife into the sink, John giggled and quickly climbed onto the open sandwich, lying down on the cheese, giggling madly as he shook in anticipation. Remy came back and smiled fondly down at John, eyes glowing softly. John smiled up at him and spread his arms, saying childishly, "Help! The giant's gonna eat me!"

Remy nodded, saying, "Oh yes he is." and gently placed the other half of the sandwich on top of John, making sure not to squash him too badly.

John wriggled, feeling the cheese under him and the sticky mayo pressing down on top of him, smearing all over his face. He turned his head and chuckled, feeling Remy poking at him gently, feeling for him. The finger withdrew and John heard a loud crunching sound and suddenly light flooded him. He looked up, grinning, as Remy chewed his mouthful of sandwich, smiling at him.

Remy then bit off some sandwich to the side of John, careful of his hands, of course, his teeth slicing cleanly through the bread, cheese and veggie.

For anyone else, this would be terrifying, but John laughed as Remy licked at his head, shouting, "Aww, come on, mate! Get to the good part!" Remy ignored him and continued to nibble around him, making a big deal out of nearly biting the little mutant.

When the only thing left was the sandwich encompassing John, the pyromaniac giggled, saying, "One more bite, Remy!"

But as Remy swallowed his mouthful, he grinned and then said, "Well, actually, I'm suddenly not so hungry..."

He made a motion as if to put the sandwich down, and grinned as Pyro shouted in protest, "No way! Come on, mate! Finish! Please!"

Remy grinned at him and brought the sandwich back up, saying as if annoyed, "Oh fine." He winked at John and gave him one last lick before he put half the remaining sandwich into his mouth. It grew dark and John couldn't see a thing, but then he felt an uncomfortable pressure on his gut, which he guessed were the front teeth. He wasn't scared, however; giggling as the teeth teased him before Remy shoved the rest of him and the sandwich into his mouth.

Then Remy began to chew, carefully and slowly. John heard the crunching sound of Remy chomping through the lettuce and squirmed in the hot mouth, kicking a little as he laughed. He felt the tongue shift under him, and then it grew tight and John let out shrill laughter at the sensation of being squeezed tightly by Remy's throat.
 

No I didn't write this. This is shiat is farking insane.
 
2012-11-18 03:31:36 AM

Richard_The_Clown: My girlfriend loves reading and writing fan fic. Doctor Who, Storm Hawks, Harry Potter. It's just dreadful. Now though she's gotten into "RumBelle" fanfic which is Rumpkestiltskin and Belle related stories from Once Upon a Time. And she will go on and on about that. Seriously it's the one thing that really irks me about her. She wants to enjoy it by herself, fine, but don't drag me into it. Especially when I've let her know what I think of fanfic. It's a dark hole of fandom that I wish didn't exist.


See, sometimes I like to

trippycrazy12: Richard_The_Clown: My girlfriend loves reading and writing fan fic. Doctor Who, Storm Hawks, Harry Potter. It's just dreadful. Now though she's gotten into "RumBelle" fanfic which is Rumpkestiltskin and Belle related stories from Once Upon a Time. And she will go on and on about that. Seriously it's the one thing that really irks me about her. She wants to enjoy it by herself, fine, but don't drag me into it. Especially when I've let her know what I think of fanfic. It's a dark hole of fandom that I wish didn't exist.

Not all fanfic are crap. I've read some CSI and Cold Case fanfic that I wouldn't mind getting turned into real episodes. Unfortunately, those are only a few gyms in a mostly shiat pile.


See, I'm not as interesting in the good stuff as I am in the really, really bad trainwreck stuff. I don't know why. I know I'm a bad person and I should feel bad but some of that stuff is HILARIOUS, especially the sex scenes written by people who have a mental age of twelve and have obviously never had sex before and have little to no understanding of how the human body works. Bonus points for misspellings and an abuse of grammar that would make Grammar Nazis hole up in their bunker and commit suicide.
 
2012-11-18 03:50:50 AM
And then John was a zombie.
 
2012-11-18 04:00:21 AM

Foxxinnia: Just wait until my X-Men Gambit/Pyro vore fanfiction hits the shelves of your local CVS. Here's I'll give you guys a taste.


Pffft. Amateur hour. Come back when you have some Thor/Loki mpreg rapefic focusing on watersports and their asexuality.

ambercat: See, I'm not as interesting in the good stuff as I am in the really, really bad trainwreck stuff. I don't know why. I know I'm a bad person and I should feel bad but some of that stuff is HILARIOUS, especially the sex scenes written by people who have a mental age of twelve and have obviously never had sex before and have little to no understanding of how the human body works. Bonus points for misspellings and an abuse of grammar that would make Grammar Nazis hole up in their bunker and commit suicide.


Too true. The crazier the better. Especially great when the writer throws an agenda into their wank material.
 
2012-11-18 06:27:05 AM

nimawai: MurphyMurphy: quatchi: As a complete aside here, I thought the rule of thumb for Boy Bands was that one of the boys had to be straight.

Apparently One Direction never got that memo.

fixed

Nsync didn't get that memo either. 2 "band members" from that "band" are gay. There's a photo floating around Reddit of 1 direction from the back and one of the guys has his hand on the ass of another.


Wait, who's the other gay Nsync member?

As far as One Direction goes, I'm not sure how it is that I'm fairly certain I've never heard one of their songs yet I know far too much about their personal drama.
 
2012-11-18 07:06:24 AM
I guess One Direction is a musical act of some kind. (click)

Gah! They make Beiber look mature.
 
2012-11-18 07:25:54 AM

Duck_of_Doom: Foxxinnia: Just wait until my X-Men Gambit/Pyro vore fanfiction hits the shelves of your local CVS. Here's I'll give you guys a taste.

Pffft. Amateur hour. Come back when you have some Thor/Loki mpreg rapefic focusing on watersports and their asexuality.

ambercat: See, I'm not as interesting in the good stuff as I am in the really, really bad trainwreck stuff. I don't know why. I know I'm a bad person and I should feel bad but some of that stuff is HILARIOUS, especially the sex scenes written by people who have a mental age of twelve and have obviously never had sex before and have little to no understanding of how the human body works. Bonus points for misspellings and an abuse of grammar that would make Grammar Nazis hole up in their bunker and commit suicide.

Too true. The crazier the better. Especially great when the writer throws an agenda into their wank material.


MST3k/Rifftrax literature style.
 
2012-11-18 07:44:52 AM

Mega Steve: jimmyjackfunk: hmm fanfiction involving a fan and a musical group. maybe i should see if I could find my fanfiction i wrote involving me in a love triangle and the Mandrell sisters.

Like, what decade are we talking about here? Now, or the 80's?

Eh it doesn't matter if we go now, then you open up a whole other genre. CGILF (country grandmother's I...)


95BV5: jimmyjackfunk: hmm fanfiction involving a fan and a musical group. maybe i should see if I could find my fanfiction i wrote involving me in a love triangle and the Mandrell sisters.

Wouldn't that be a love rectangle?


Oh that's right there were three I remembered Babs and Irlene forgot about the Brunette what was her name?
 
2012-11-18 08:24:25 AM
Love triangle? So does that mean that one of the members of One Direction is bi?

Seriously though, pop literature reflects the culture it came from. It's not a market that promotes junk. It's a market that makes successful things that resonate with the culture. A brilliantly written book can and probably still will be published but with luck will find popularity with those who it resonates with.

I don't like to bash things I haven't seen myself but this just sounds like a stereotypical shallow teen drama. The actual emotional depth of it may find a home in many teen girls but with any luck they'll grow out of it. The only literature that's allowed to have poorly formed characters and still be popular is religious or political.
 
2012-11-18 08:26:31 AM

rappy: Richard_The_Clown: My girlfriend loves reading and writing fan fic. Doctor Who, Storm Hawks, Harry Potter. It's just dreadful. Now though she's gotten into "RumBelle" fanfic which is Rumpkestiltskin and Belle related stories from Once Upon a Time. And she will go on and on about that. Seriously it's the one thing that really irks me about her. She wants to enjoy it by herself, fine, but don't drag me into it. Especially when I've let her know what I think of fanfic. It's a dark hole of fandom that I wish didn't exist.

Really? You're going to judge your girlfriend when your job is to be a clown?


Eh, she's a clown too, so on that score it all evens out :op
 
2012-11-18 08:27:04 AM

B.L.Z. Bub: Plus, in this era where anyone with an Internet connection can be a published author, it's inevitable that there will be more crap in literature. It doesn't diminish the good stuff one bit. You can still find good literature, your rights have not infringed because a moron can be published.


I can't recall who did it but they studied films from the 70s versus today. They found that there were just as many critically acclaimed films today as there were then. The only thing is Hollywood went from making several dozen films a year to releasing several hundred. So the appearance is that everything is crap but the reality is that we've still got as much quality stuff as before.
 
2012-11-18 09:05:42 AM

pion: Let me know when the newest one is out, you know the one where Hanharr and Kreia bang while Bao-Dur gives himself a mechanical stranger in the corner and T3 is set to vibrate.


Gah, I never pick up Hanharr! Mira is where it's at for my oversexed, bat-shiat crazy Exile.
 
2012-11-18 09:13:52 AM

Duck_of_Doom: PanicMan If it's not furry Star Trek slash fiction, it's not literature.

So is Spock/Pinky Pie fic cool with you?


Ha ha, now that's a mash-up! How would that even work?
 
2012-11-18 09:42:14 AM

PanicMan: If it's not furry Star Trek slash fiction, it's not literature.


Even back in the days when most fanfic was Trek-based, I think you had to have at least one male pregnancy to qualify as literature.

/These days it has to have a crossover with a completely unrelated series and at least one character has to have been inexplicably rewritten as a vampire.
//Also, I think Stargate: Atlantis is the current go-to sci-fi series for fanfic.
///I actually know a woman who hangs out in Second Life pretending to be Rodney McKay as the sub in a BDSM relationship with John Sheppard, whom I suspect is also her. I try to avoid her because I feel so embarrassed for her. It's like watching a terrible sitcom based entirely on the characters publicly humiliating themselves, only much, much worse.
////At least neither of them is a furry or a vampire.
 
2012-11-18 09:50:48 AM
So boy bands are back then? Yup, right on schedule.
 
2012-11-18 12:45:44 PM

quatchi: Britney Spear's Speculum: GAT_00: So, same publisher that did 50 Shades of Grey, which if you'll recall was a Twilight fanfic, or a competing one hoping to cash in?

This

Yeah, what scurrilous outfit is dumb enuff to publish this type of trash?

*click*

16-year-old U.K. teen Emily Baker is the envy of not only One Direction fans, but wannabe authors everywhere. She has just inked a deal with Penguin to publish her fanfiction story about a teen who is in an intense romantic love triangle with two of the boys from One Direction.

Penguin?

WTF, Penguin?! You guys used to be cool.

/Haz a sad.


upload.wikimedia.org

Problem?
 
2012-11-18 01:11:37 PM

PanicMan: Duck_of_Doom: PanicMan If it's not furry Star Trek slash fiction, it's not literature.

So is Spock/Pinky Pie fic cool with you?

Ha ha, now that's a mash-up! How would that even work?


i.imgur.com

Pretty awkwardly, but it appears to exist.
 
2012-11-18 02:00:59 PM
gglibertine
///I actually know a woman who hangs out in Second Life pretending to be Rodney McKay as the sub in a BDSM relationship with John Sheppard, whom I suspect is also her. I try to avoid her because I feel so embarrassed for her. It's like watching a terrible sitcom based entirely on the characters publicly humiliating themselves, only much, much worse.

/ftfy
 
2012-11-18 02:36:07 PM
Has the internet destroyed all sense of context or were there doomsayers like the ones on here fifty years ago too?
 
2012-11-18 04:13:40 PM

trippycrazy12: Duck_of_Doom: Foxxinnia: Just wait until my X-Men Gambit/Pyro vore fanfiction hits the shelves of your local CVS. Here's I'll give you guys a taste.

Pffft. Amateur hour. Come back when you have some Thor/Loki mpreg rapefic focusing on watersports and their asexuality.

ambercat: See, I'm not as interesting in the good stuff as I am in the really, really bad trainwreck stuff. I don't know why. I know I'm a bad person and I should feel bad but some of that stuff is HILARIOUS, especially the sex scenes written by people who have a mental age of twelve and have obviously never had sex before and have little to no understanding of how the human body works. Bonus points for misspellings and an abuse of grammar that would make Grammar Nazis hole up in their bunker and commit suicide.

Too true. The crazier the better. Especially great when the writer throws an agenda into their wank material.

MST3k/Rifftrax literature style.


For those interested in some bad fic: badfic.tumblr.com

Couldn't track down the ancient livejournal that used to have impressive examples of horrific purple prose in fanfic.
 
2012-11-18 04:42:27 PM
I've learned things today. Things I can't un-learn.
 
2012-11-18 05:20:53 PM

rynthetyn: nimawai: MurphyMurphy: quatchi: As a complete aside here, I thought the rule of thumb for Boy Bands was that one of the boys had to be straight.

Apparently One Direction never got that memo.

fixed

Nsync didn't get that memo either. 2 "band members" from that "band" are gay. There's a photo floating around Reddit of 1 direction from the back and one of the guys has his hand on the ass of another.

Wait, who's the other gay Nsync member?

As far as One Direction goes, I'm not sure how it is that I'm fairly certain I've never heard one of their songs yet I know far too much about their personal drama.


JC is as gay as a rainbow. He's just firmly in the closet. There have been quite a few reports of him being with male "friends". Recently it was reported that he went on an island vacation with a bunch of said "friends" who all just happen to be gay.
 
2012-11-18 05:55:33 PM

nimawai: rynthetyn: nimawai: MurphyMurphy: quatchi: As a complete aside here, I thought the rule of thumb for Boy Bands was that one of the boys had to be straight.

Apparently One Direction never got that memo.

fixed

Nsync didn't get that memo either. 2 "band members" from that "band" are gay. There's a photo floating around Reddit of 1 direction from the back and one of the guys has his hand on the ass of another.

Wait, who's the other gay Nsync member?

As far as One Direction goes, I'm not sure how it is that I'm fairly certain I've never heard one of their songs yet I know far too much about their personal drama.

JC is as gay as a rainbow. He's just firmly in the closet. There have been quite a few reports of him being with male "friends". Recently it was reported that he went on an island vacation with a bunch of said "friends" who all just happen to be gay.


I suppose I'm confused as to why one of the lesser members of a boy band that hasn't been relevant in a decade would even bother to stay in the closet. How's that even supposed to hurt your career when you don't have one anymore?
 
2012-11-18 07:18:36 PM

rynthetyn: nimawai: rynthetyn: nimawai: MurphyMurphy: quatchi: As a complete aside here, I thought the rule of thumb for Boy Bands was that one of the boys had to be straight.

Apparently One Direction never got that memo.

fixed

Nsync didn't get that memo either. 2 "band members" from that "band" are gay. There's a photo floating around Reddit of 1 direction from the back and one of the guys has his hand on the ass of another.

Wait, who's the other gay Nsync member?

As far as One Direction goes, I'm not sure how it is that I'm fairly certain I've never heard one of their songs yet I know far too much about their personal drama.

JC is as gay as a rainbow. He's just firmly in the closet. There have been quite a few reports of him being with male "friends". Recently it was reported that he went on an island vacation with a bunch of said "friends" who all just happen to be gay.

I suppose I'm confused as to why one of the lesser members of a boy band that hasn't been relevant in a decade would even bother to stay in the closet. How's that even supposed to hurt your career when you don't have one anymore?


Because the music industry is full of ass kissers who say he'll have a solo career. He just needs to stay in the closet so he can make the girls wet their panties. Sorry but being gay hasn't diminished my crush on quite a few gay actors or musicians. It's made me respect them more. Even now it still takes courage to come on out of the closet.

Also back then JC wasn't one of the minor members. He & Justin shared top duty. I'm ashamed that I know this.
 
2012-11-18 08:42:34 PM

nimawai: rynthetyn: nimawai: rynthetyn: nimawai: MurphyMurphy: quatchi: As a complete aside here, I thought the rule of thumb for Boy Bands was that one of the boys had to be straight.

Apparently One Direction never got that memo.

fixed

Nsync didn't get that memo either. 2 "band members" from that "band" are gay. There's a photo floating around Reddit of 1 direction from the back and one of the guys has his hand on the ass of another.

Wait, who's the other gay Nsync member?

As far as One Direction goes, I'm not sure how it is that I'm fairly certain I've never heard one of their songs yet I know far too much about their personal drama.

JC is as gay as a rainbow. He's just firmly in the closet. There have been quite a few reports of him being with male "friends". Recently it was reported that he went on an island vacation with a bunch of said "friends" who all just happen to be gay.

I suppose I'm confused as to why one of the lesser members of a boy band that hasn't been relevant in a decade would even bother to stay in the closet. How's that even supposed to hurt your career when you don't have one anymore?

Because the music industry is full of ass kissers who say he'll have a solo career. He just needs to stay in the closet so he can make the girls wet their panties. Sorry but being gay hasn't diminished my crush on quite a few gay actors or musicians. It's made me respect them more. Even now it still takes courage to come on out of the closet.

Also back then JC wasn't one of the minor members. He & Justin shared top duty. I'm ashamed that I know this.


Yeah, but I didn't think that JC was ever particularly the object of teenage girls' affections. Everybody was in love with Justin Timberlake and Lance Bass.

In any case, even though I think that people shouldn't be forced out of the closet until they're ready, I have a hard time with closeted, washed up boy banders. They don't really have anything to lose, the best years of their career are behind them, and if anything coming out would remind everyone that they still exist.
 
2012-11-19 12:15:36 AM

penthesilea:

For those interested in some bad fic: badfic.tumblr.com

Couldn't track down the ancient livejournal that used to have impressive examples of horrific purple prose in fanfic.


Could this be it? Probably NSFW.
 
2012-11-19 12:41:19 AM

wont_eat_bugs: penthesilea:

For those interested in some bad fic: badfic.tumblr.com

Couldn't track down the ancient livejournal that used to have impressive examples of horrific purple prose in fanfic.

Could this be it? Probably NSFW.


Weeping Cock! Yes that's it! Thanks.
Wow. Can't believe that it's still active.
 
2012-11-19 12:53:56 AM

penthesilea: wont_eat_bugs: penthesilea:

For those interested in some bad fic: badfic.tumblr.com

Couldn't track down the ancient livejournal that used to have impressive examples of horrific purple prose in fanfic.

Could this be it? Probably NSFW.

Weeping Cock! Yes that's it! Thanks.
Wow. Can't believe that it's still active.


I was kind of surprised myself. I thought everyone in the entire (fannish) world had moved to tumblr, except me. Have fun!
 
2012-11-19 01:31:26 AM

wont_eat_bugs: penthesilea:

For those interested in some bad fic: badfic.tumblr.com

Couldn't track down the ancient livejournal that used to have impressive examples of horrific purple prose in fanfic.

Could this be it? Probably NSFW.


Hah, great! Thanks for the link!

/first hit: clotted fark cream. Delish!
 
2012-11-19 01:44:01 AM

baorao: is there fanfic that isn't erotic fanfic? why?


Yes. I've quite a few novel-length fanfics that have no more (or even less) sex than "normal" books, and some rather short ones that are not erotic at all.

Why? I suppose because someone has a story they want to tell, and doing fanfic gives you a ready-made audience of people who would normally have no interest in your writing, plus it saves you the burden of doing the character development because the readers are already familiar with the characters. And because there are more relationships than just sex.

This author sucks because Mary Sues inevitably suck. And calling it "OFC" doesn't hide the fact it's a Mary Sue, biatch.

/The internet was shipping Bond and newQ as soon as the movie was out
//Also came across Bond/John Watson today because of the 'not the first time' thing
///YES REALLY
 
2012-11-19 03:27:23 AM

QT_3.14159: pion: Let me know when the newest one is out, you know the one where Hanharr and Kreia bang while Bao-Dur gives himself a mechanical stranger in the corner and T3 is set to vibrate.

Gah, I never pick up Hanharr! Mira is where it's at for my oversexed, bat-shiat crazy Exile.


Well, me neither, because I can't play as the Dark Side, but we all know wookies be packin' (know what I'm saying?).
 
2012-11-19 02:22:43 PM
Please, please, please tell me ComicsNix is next for a book deal for his emotionally gripping love story between Batman and Robocop! http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/01/fan_fiction_friday_batman_and_robo cop_in_the_day_t.php

Also, Shakespeare Hemmingway's Garfield trilogy seriously needs a look too

/already misses Topless Robot's fanfic Fridays and can't wait for iO9 to start it up. It's a good excuse to drink.
 
2012-11-19 06:43:17 PM
Upon scanning this thread, that's just about enough internet for today.
 
2012-11-19 09:45:05 PM

MysticSavage: Upon scanning this thread, that's just about enough internet for today.


I have it on good authority that I'm a bad person.
 
2012-11-20 08:42:57 AM

trippycrazy12: Richard_The_Clown: My girlfriend loves reading and writing fan fic. Doctor Who, Storm Hawks, Harry Potter. It's just dreadful. Now though she's gotten into "RumBelle" fanfic which is Rumpkestiltskin and Belle related stories from Once Upon a Time. And she will go on and on about that. Seriously it's the one thing that really irks me about her. She wants to enjoy it by herself, fine, but don't drag me into it. Especially when I've let her know what I think of fanfic. It's a dark hole of fandom that I wish didn't exist.

Not all fanfic are crap. I've read some CSI and Cold Case fanfic that I wouldn't mind getting turned into real episodes. Unfortunately, those are only a few gyms in a mostly shiat pile.


They're probably only 26 minute-length episodes.
 
2012-11-20 08:52:14 AM
Hey, the girl was able to imagine a world where 2 members of 1 Direction are straight. Clearly she has a talent for fiction.
 
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