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(The News International)   Meat eaters lie, steal and even commit sex crimes according to a thoroughly unbiased vegetarian textbook   (thenews.com.pk) divider line 72
    More: Silly, secondary educations, NDTV, vegetarians, sex crimes, textbooks  
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5328 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Nov 2012 at 7:09 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-17 07:10:17 AM  
On a page about non-vegetarians, the book said that they "easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes".

Yes it is true, but the same is true of vegetarians.
 
2012-11-17 07:12:04 AM  
Isn't this the Southern Baptist Sunday School Guidebook?

/fanatics of all flavors are the same
 
2012-11-17 07:21:49 AM  
Sounds like somebody needs to get their ass back to the call center and stop writing stupid books.
 
2012-11-17 07:24:22 AM  
i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-17 07:28:59 AM  
I only commit my sex crimes against vegetables
 
2012-11-17 07:35:37 AM  
YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT WE DO, AND IF YOU OPEN YOUR YAP WE'LL THROW YOU ON THE BARBI AND EAT YOU TO

HURRAAH!!! MORE MEAT FOR THE F***ING MEAT EATERS!!


/off to lie cheat and steal for a rare steak
//dog is right behind me
 
2012-11-17 07:39:17 AM  
Maybe they should get a textbook that clearly explains how correlation and causation work instead.
 
2012-11-17 07:39:46 AM  
Vegetarians start world wars and massacre six million Jews. So there.
 
2012-11-17 07:58:58 AM  
They also breathe, sleep and defecate.
 
2012-11-17 07:59:08 AM  
I guess Vegans don't commit sex crimes because they can't get a hard-on?
 
2012-11-17 08:03:18 AM  
Well, to be fair, they DID teach a lion how to eat tofu.
 
2012-11-17 08:05:40 AM  
Atheists, meat-eaters and other awesome humans. Mmm sacrelicious.
 
2012-11-17 08:11:23 AM  
I heard much the same of the Air Breathers.
 
2012-11-17 08:17:29 AM  
i50.tinypic.com
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-17 08:20:43 AM  
That lamb was asking for it!
 
2012-11-17 08:26:58 AM  

Watchtower's Fiction Editor: Vegetarians start world wars and massacre six million Jews. So there.


But what about all the good things Hitler did?
 
2012-11-17 08:33:26 AM  
You know who else was a vegetarian?

Because as we all know, vegetarians are the pinnacles of human civilization.
 
2012-11-17 08:34:50 AM  
The vast majority of criminals regularly eat bread. Therefore, banning bread will reduce crime.

/Wait, what?
 
2012-11-17 08:44:39 AM  
But I'm looking forward to a promising political career.
 
2012-11-17 08:50:09 AM  

Richard_The_Clown: But what about all the good things Hitler did?


You know that the Hitler was a vegetarian thing is Nazi propaganda, and while he might have reduced his meat consumption during periods of his life, he was never actually a vegetarian, right?
 
2012-11-17 08:55:36 AM  
That rotting banana gif is hypnotic.
 
2012-11-17 08:58:53 AM  

EvilEgg: On a page about non-vegetarians, the book said that they "easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes".

Yes it is true, but the same is true of vegetarians.


i.ytimg.com
What non-Vegetarians singing about sexcrime might look like.
 
2012-11-17 09:01:05 AM  

Watchtower's Fiction Editor: Vegetarians start world wars and massacre six million Jews. So there.


Boy, that escalated quickly.
i4.ytimg.com
Sure, I figured the thread would Godwin eventually, but ... only 8 posts in?
 
2012-11-17 09:02:14 AM  

Archie Goodwin: They also breathe, sleep and defecate.


Let's be fair.
upload.wikimedia.org
Everybody does that.
 
2012-11-17 09:10:53 AM  
Sadly this is true, I would sell my mother for a bacon cheeseburger.

Also, this guy is a big liar, says he will pay on Tuesday but never does
i26.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-17 09:16:13 AM  
Vegetarians die every day, as do non smokers.
 
2012-11-17 09:16:29 AM  
it probably is true that vegetarians have more morels.
 
2012-11-17 09:33:58 AM  
There's a word for humans who don't eat meat.

It's "chimpanzee".
 
2012-11-17 09:40:13 AM  

ciberido: EvilEgg: On a page about non-vegetarians, the book said that they "easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes".

Yes it is true, but the same is true of vegetarians.

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]
What non-Vegetarians singing about sexcrime might look like.


Pull the bricks down, one by one.
 
2012-11-17 09:46:41 AM  

Verzio: There's a word for humans who don't eat meat.

It's "chimpanzee".


They do eat meat. It may not be one of their primary staples but they will gladly eat it if they get some.

Hence an old article from an expert that stated "they will eat meat with great relish" to which somebody said "Where do they get the relish from?"
 
2012-11-17 09:50:05 AM  

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Richard_The_Clown: But what about all the good things Hitler did?

You know that the Hitler was a vegetarian thing is Nazi propaganda, and while he might have reduced his meat consumption during periods of his life, he was never actually a vegetarian, right?


It makes me fear what Hitler would've been like had he gone full vegetarian.
 
2012-11-17 09:50:18 AM  

Watchtower's Fiction Editor: Vegetarians start world wars and massacre six million Jews. So there.


Hitler was also heavily medicated, so no more Xanax, Prozac, Cialis, Vicodin, Codeine, arthritis meds, steroids and estrogen supplements, birth control pills, etc. etc. etc...............

Never Again!!!!!
 
2012-11-17 09:51:30 AM  
Der Ewige Fleisch-Esser
 
2012-11-17 09:58:30 AM  
human, chimp, orang, gorilla.... this is not only the order of higher apes from most animal protein consumed to least, but also the list of highest intelligence to least. There is a possible correlation as hunting requires more cognitive skill than foraging. And chimps are known to wage war on other chimp bands as well as tear their own children from limb to limb if paternity is in question. Bonobos on the other hand believe in farking to solve conflict. We should strive to be like the bonobo.
 
2012-11-17 10:03:30 AM  
the perfect counterpoint to the article: Bill Clinton is vegan.
 
2012-11-17 10:05:44 AM  

ciberido: Sure, I figured the thread would Godwin eventually, but ... only 8 posts in?


Yeah, but it's kind of begging for it, isn't it? :D
 
2012-11-17 10:28:29 AM  
I know from experience this is totally untrue. I was vegan for a few years and still committed plenty of sex crimes. More, even. Because, you know... I was morally superior in other ways.
 
2012-11-17 10:29:01 AM  

dumbobruni: the perfect counterpoint to the article: Bill Clinton is vegan.


He got a young intern to eat his meat
 
2012-11-17 10:59:49 AM  

DrunkenInsomniac: dumbobruni: the perfect counterpoint to the article: Bill Clinton is vegan.

He got a young intern to eat his meat


Bazinga.
 
2012-11-17 11:19:09 AM  

dumbobruni: the perfect counterpoint to the article: Bill Clinton is vegan.


No wonder McDonalds sales have dropped recently
 
2012-11-17 11:30:29 AM  
I read that as "Most eaters lie...."

It makes just as much sense either way.
 
2012-11-17 01:03:26 PM  

monstera: I only commit my sex crimes against vegetables


Stop it! "Crunch" means "no"!
 
2012-11-17 01:10:22 PM  

Okoboji: You know who else was a vegetarian?


3.bp.blogspot.com
/he was a no good kid
 
2012-11-17 01:15:30 PM  
FTA: On a page about non-vegetarians, the book said that they "easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes".

They forgot card playing, whistling and dancing on Sunday.
 
2012-11-17 01:44:12 PM  

MBooda: Okoboji: You know who else was a vegetarian?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x219]
/he was a no good kid


Gee thanks. I recently had that soundtrack running through my head in a rather maddening fashion... it was finally gone... now, thanks to you, it's back.
 
2012-11-17 01:46:16 PM  
www.whiskyintelligence.com

it's just a little airborne, it's still good it's still good!!
 
2012-11-17 02:17:43 PM  
Hitler was a vegetarian, so this makes total sense.
 
2012-11-17 02:32:15 PM  

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Richard_The_Clown: But what about all the good things Hitler did?

You know that the Hitler was a vegetarian thing is Nazi propaganda, and while he might have reduced his meat consumption during periods of his life, he was never actually a vegetarian, right?


But most, if not all, of the members of the Manson Family were vegans.
 
2012-11-17 02:47:52 PM  
Every dog in the world eats nothing but meat and they do none of those things. Heck, a dog cannot even lie. Eating meat must make you a saint. You know what they don't eat? Vegetables. fark vegetables. Vegetables must be terrible things if an animal that eats it's own poop won't eat them. Therefore vegetables make you lie, cheat, steal, and hump the cat.
 
2012-11-17 03:02:42 PM  

ciberido: Everybody does that.


The thing about that book cover that bugs me is that apples don't poop. Really. You can look it up.
 
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