If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KJRH Tulsa)   After three years in the making, Ten Commandments monument at Oklahoma state capitol finally unveiled. Unfortunately during that three year period, no one ever thought to run a spell check on it   (kjrh.com) divider line 90
    More: Fail, Oklahoma State Capitol, Ten Commandments, Oklahoma, Ten Commandments monument, Broken Arrow, misspellings, orbital period  
•       •       •

30584 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2012 at 3:48 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-16 01:07:54 PM
24 votes:

simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.


The other 5 were simply advisory, and dealt with interpersonal relationships. Some biblical scholars believe that they read as follows:

11. Favor thine brothers before harlots.
12. If there be grass on the field, though mayest play ball.
13. Stickest not thy manhood into crazy.
14. Once thou hast gone black, thou shalt not again go back.
15. Remember always: No matter how fetching appearest thy neighbor's wife or thy neighbor's maidservant, some man, somewhere, and quite possibly thy neighbor, hath grown weary of her excrement.
2012-11-16 12:06:20 PM
19 votes:
This certainly helps dispel the stereotypes.
2012-11-16 12:41:18 PM
15 votes:

AdolfOliverPanties: Isn't there something in the Ten Commandments about graven images?

\
i.imgur.com 

Yup, that's the monument--with misspellings and all.
2012-11-16 12:21:01 PM
15 votes:

simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?


Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?
2012-11-16 12:01:43 PM
14 votes:
Red state problems.
2012-11-16 01:12:27 PM
10 votes:
j.wigflip.com
2012-11-16 11:56:19 AM
10 votes:
So... their tablets need to be updated?

/wait until they try the maps
2012-11-16 12:15:54 PM
9 votes:
It's a sad day when you can't spell as well as Ozzy Osbourne.
2012-11-16 12:05:37 PM
9 votes:
It was God's will that it be misspelled.
2012-11-16 11:58:19 AM
8 votes:
Isn't there something in the Ten Commandments about graven images?
2012-11-16 12:44:00 PM
7 votes:

simplicimus: Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.


i.imgur.com
2012-11-16 12:29:39 PM
7 votes:
It's really NOT misspelled. They just went back to the original texts and translated it properly from the Pnakotic fragments.

It's not "Remember the Sabbath" it's "Remember the Shoggoth"
2012-11-16 12:38:40 PM
5 votes:

simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.


Exceptions
2012-11-16 03:59:03 PM
4 votes:
imageshack.us
2012-11-16 03:57:43 PM
4 votes:

Loucifer: Teh Ten Commandments.


1 Then Ceiling Cat spoked all them werds:

2 I iz Ceiling Cat An I iz Top Cat, An I broughted u out of hawt litturbawx wit no cheezbrgrs for hard mousin at all

3 No can has other ceiling cat!! U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lollazer eyes. Srsly.

4 If u try be Ceiling Cat of any of mai creayshunz up in floaty skai, down in erth or in watr or I shoot yous wit mah lollazer eyes.

5 If u think faek Ceiling Cat iz Ceiling Cat, I mek u ded An ur kittenz ded An if yur kittenz have kittenz, dey be ded too, for being stupid and stuffs.

6 If not I wuv u An all ur lotz uf kittenz!

7 U sez Ceiling Cat bad, I shoot yous wit mah lollazer eyes, cuz I dun liek it. Srsly.

8 Remembur Caturday An keep holy.

9 U ketch mousies 6 dais An finish ketchin, K?

10 Caturday, u no ketchin mousies. U An all ur peepz go wrship me. And, if yu beez gudd, I maks it so yu can stays home and do alla stuffs yu wanted tu doos.

11 I maded heavenz An erth An see An the stuff that does teh funney hoppey stuffz in An on it - so I make it holy cuz I no ketch mousies.

12 Bez u good to papa kitteh An mama kitteh so u has long nine liefs.

13 U no maek peepz ded with teh malice! Srsly!

14 U no maek sexxes wit other gurlz or menz than urs (that mi jobz!).

15 U no taek cheezburgerz for free if not getz for free.

16 U no tell bad stuff ov ur neibor.

17 U no wantz neibor cheezburgerz! No wief, no gurlz, no menz, no abimalz, NO BUKKITZ! DEY NOT UR BUKKITZ, K? dey da LOLrus' bukkits.

18 When peepz see mai great orkestr wit thundr An all cool speshul effects thei wur scairdey wimps

19 Thei sed to Mozus 'U goez speek to uz An we will listen; but Ceiling Cat will shoot us wit His lazer eyes!'

20 Mozus LOL'd lotz, An a bit moar, for thei wuz such scairdies, An sed 'Ceiling Cat no maek u ded; he just wantz to hav fun wit u gais An maek u scairdey cats so u obei him.'

21 But peepz wur still scairdies An let Mozus go ther to Ceiling Cat.
Ceiling Cat roolz for idles an alters
22 Ceiling Cat sez "Tellz them scairdies: 'U see I meowed to u from big ceilingz.

23 U no mek me of silvar or goldz.

24 U mek me altar of kitteh-litturz An gif me pwnz0rzed animulz ther An I gif u cheezburgr.

25 But u no maek me altar of bjutiful stonez. DO NOT WANT!

26 An u no use steps on altar or I can see ur penises. DO NOT WANT!"
2012-11-16 12:30:47 PM
4 votes:
I'm not sure but I think I found another typo.  I'm pretty sure the 7th commandment isn't "Thou Shalt Get 'er Done".
2012-11-16 12:25:44 PM
4 votes:

Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?


Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.
2012-11-16 04:22:48 PM
3 votes:

propasaurus: Thou shalt have no other gods...

Wait. There are other gods?


Clapton.
2012-11-16 04:05:14 PM
3 votes:
Look, proper spelling is for elitists. If the faithful feel that the monument is correct, then the monument is correct. Why do you hate Jesus and God and the angels and Heaven and 'Murca, and George Washington and Liberty teeth?
2012-11-16 02:23:21 PM
3 votes:
i26.tinypic.com
2012-11-16 01:47:54 PM
3 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: doyner: propasaurus: Thou shalt have no other gods...

Wait. There are other gods?

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

Indefinite article. I.e., one of several. God admits he's not alone more than once.

"Let us make man in our own image."


Great. I knew man must have been designed by a committee.
2012-11-16 12:59:24 PM
3 votes:

Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?


11)Thou shalt not be a douche to your fellow man: seriously knock it off, even if they dress funny, speak a different language or have different colored skin

12) Thou shalt not try to forcefully impose your religion or morality on others: I am the lord your god, *I* got the whole revealing my will to others thing, mmkay?

13) Thou Shalt not be Smug:Before you got these tablets you were just a s big a sinner as that guy you are looking down on, so cut it out

14) IF thou seest a guy with a short mustache and a funny haircut coming to power in your country, thou shalt GTFO immediately

15) Thou shalt shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
2012-11-16 12:54:16 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com

1. It's okay to call hooters "knockers" and sometimes "snack trays."
2. It is wrong to be French.
3. It's okay to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder.
4. Lawyers: see rule three.
5. It is okay to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes.
6. Everyone should car pool but me.
7. Bring back the word "stewardesses"
8. Synchronized Swimming is not a sport.
9. Mudwrestling is a sport.
2012-11-16 12:52:36 PM
3 votes:

St_Francis_P: simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.

Legal disclaimers.


* Not valid outside the middle east
* probably some EULA
2012-11-16 12:42:40 PM
3 votes:

simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.


Legal disclaimers.
2012-11-16 12:11:23 PM
3 votes:

simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?


Do you think any of 'em actually read any of the book?
2012-11-16 11:53:32 AM
3 votes:
So apparently Oklahoma is Jewish?
2012-11-16 09:16:20 PM
2 votes:
2012-11-16 06:20:57 PM
2 votes:

felching pen: /As a Christian, I wish we Christians would act more Christ-like.


Silly Christian, American Christianity is about making a big show that you believe. As long as you believe you are saved, so you can act like a giant douchebag and it's ok because you're forgiven. Doing good works? That's Papist talk, and Papism is practically devil worship.
2012-11-16 06:06:54 PM
2 votes:

simplicimus: I have a hard enough time breaking 10 commandments. I don't think I'd live long enough to break 613 commandments.


At that level it's less of a religion and more Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
2012-11-16 04:48:41 PM
2 votes:
I thought in the case of legitimate misspelling a monument had a way of shutting that whole thing down,.
2012-11-16 04:12:14 PM
2 votes:
Jesus weapt.
2012-11-16 04:08:06 PM
2 votes:

simplicimus: DamnYankees: Serious question - how many of the ten commandments actually make sense for a secular person? 3?

"Be excellent to each other."
That covers the secular part.


lh3.googleusercontent.com
GBB
2012-11-16 04:05:48 PM
2 votes:
If the Christians can have their 10 commandments. Then they need to put up the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, too.
2012-11-16 04:05:03 PM
2 votes:
I'm glad the ACLU decided to stand down, this time. As long as they don't try to correct the spelling, it should be allowed to stand. As a monument to........well, I'm sure you can all figure that out.
2012-11-16 03:36:09 PM
2 votes:

DamnYankees: Serious question - how many of the ten commandments actually make sense for a secular person? 3?


"Be excellent to each other."
That covers the secular part.
2012-11-16 03:21:03 PM
2 votes:

give me doughnuts: simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.

Probably something about not buggering sheep.


Paging Mr. Black... Will Mr. Lewis Black please pick up the Fark courtesy phone?

Around the 4:08 mark.
2012-11-16 02:45:38 PM
2 votes:
Oklahoma Ten Commandments:

1. Thall shalt not worship anyone other than Ralph Dale Earnhardt, Sr.
2. Take off your hat at the table.
3. Remember to watch the OSU game
4. Do what your Pappy says, and don't sass your Mama.
5. You shall not kill without a permit or outside hunting season
6. If I catch you and your teenage cousin alone in the barn again....
7. Don't take nuthin that ain't yours.
8. Lies make baby Jesus cry
9. Jealousy will get you nowhere.
10. Rubbin' is racin'
2012-11-16 02:19:47 PM
2 votes:
Don't worry everyone, a lady from spain is going to restore this. She has experience with these things.
2012-11-16 01:56:53 PM
2 votes:
You know the people who wanted that thing there in the first place are the same ones who keep talking about how the want their state to succeed from the US and carry signs that say descent is the highest form of patriotic, right?

So I don't actually see this as a problem.
2012-11-16 01:45:10 PM
2 votes:
I was wondering what was wrong with desiring a small, high-pitched, transverse flute.
2012-11-16 01:20:23 PM
2 votes:
Thou shalt have no other gods...

Wait. There are other gods?
2012-11-16 01:04:25 PM
2 votes:

simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two three two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?


lesposen.files.wordpress.com

Oy.
2012-11-16 12:55:29 PM
2 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.

Exceptions


'm pretty sure there's something in the director's cut edition that has to do with loving thy neighbor being suspended when neighbor is gay, not stealing except when capitalism, and looking the other way about killing when the dead guy is brown
2012-11-16 12:51:47 PM
2 votes:

Somacandra: AdolfOliverPanties: Isn't there something in the Ten Commandments about graven images?
\
 

Yup, that's the monument--with misspellings and all.


I'm sorry, but is that the All-seeing Eye in the pyramid above the eagle? What the hell is THAT doing on there?
2012-11-16 12:33:00 PM
2 votes:

toraque: It's really NOT misspelled. They just went back to the original texts and translated it properly from the Pnakotic fragments.

It's not "Remember the Sabbath" it's "Remember the Shoggoth"


upload.wikimedia.org
2012-11-16 12:28:40 PM
2 votes:
The problem didn't seem to worry Oklahoma State Representative Mike Ritze, who paid $10,000 of his own money to see the monument's creation.

Shouldn't have hired that sh*tty tattoo artist to do it, Rep Cletus.
2012-11-16 12:20:09 PM
2 votes:
They also seemed to have forgotten about the whole "first amendment checker"
2012-11-17 05:49:13 AM
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2012-11-16 11:18:49 PM
1 votes:

simplicimus: 9Speed: I count 11 commandments...

Most of don't use base 9.


If you think about it, everybody uses base 10.
2012-11-16 10:51:23 PM
1 votes:
Faith, hop, and charity and the greatest of these is hop.
2012-11-16 10:39:30 PM
1 votes:

ciberido: GBB: If the Christians can have their 10 commandments. Then they need to put up the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, too.

284. Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.

One of my personal favorites.


6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.

31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. Insult something they care about instead.

111. Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.

192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you can get away with it.

211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
2012-11-16 08:19:21 PM
1 votes:

Bird3149: How do you misspell "derp"?


"R-E-LI-G-I-O-U-S R-I-G-H-T"?
2012-11-16 06:19:17 PM
1 votes:

propasaurus: Thou shalt have no other gods...

Wait. There are other gods?


Exactly :)

Christians aren't REALLY monotheists...they just like to dress that way.
2012-11-16 06:03:31 PM
1 votes:

simplicimus: Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.


Recipes.
2012-11-16 05:52:38 PM
1 votes:
People who believe in fairy tales aren't the type to bother with things like correct spelling.
2012-11-16 05:45:18 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Do you think any of 'em actually read any of the book?


They prefer to beat people over the head with it and stuff it down their throats.
2012-11-16 05:28:11 PM
1 votes:

SquiggsIN


he's an angel named Moroni. He's supposedly the son of a prophet named Mormon. hence the name of the book.


But then he got deported to Sweden. He claimed he wasn't from there. 


Sonamambatches
2012-11-16 05:22:04 PM
1 votes:

simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.


The third tablet is man's relationship with sheep.
2012-11-16 04:40:49 PM
1 votes:
Why not make a monument engraved with the 1st amendment to the constitution of the united states of america instead?
2012-11-16 04:38:17 PM
1 votes:
"O-klahoma, every night my Aunt Louise and I...."
2012-11-16 04:27:27 PM
1 votes:
It's like the Constitution: it's not like they're going to read it or anything.
2012-11-16 04:20:23 PM
1 votes:
Thou shalt not Kiln????


What's God got against ceramics?????
2012-11-16 04:13:49 PM
1 votes:
farm4.staticflickr.com
2012-11-16 04:11:04 PM
1 votes:
It looks more like they buried the 10 commandments there and put up that marker.
2012-11-16 04:09:15 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Do you think any of 'em actually read any of the book?


FTFY
2012-11-16 04:01:20 PM
1 votes:
White-Out can fix anything...
2012-11-16 03:53:00 PM
1 votes:
Teh Ten Commandments.
2012-11-16 03:02:02 PM
1 votes:
You'd think God would fix the typos for them. Ungrateful bastard.
2012-11-16 02:57:35 PM
1 votes:

Pud: simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.

That was the honey-do list his wife gave him.


Outside of "Keep the Palm trees watered", what else would be on the list?
2012-11-16 02:32:39 PM
1 votes:
2012-11-16 02:18:15 PM
1 votes:

Diogenes: God Is My Co-Pirate: doyner: propasaurus: Thou shalt have no other gods...

Wait. There are other gods?

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

Indefinite article. I.e., one of several. God admits he's not alone more than once.

"Let us make man in our own image."

God has thirteen "attributes."

simplicimus: God Is My Co-Pirate: doyner: propasaurus: Thou shalt have no other gods...

Wait. There are other gods?

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

Indefinite article. I.e., one of several. God admits he's not alone more than once.

"Let us make man in our own image."

Great. I knew man must have been designed by a committee.

Clearly we are the product of groupthink.


Gives new meaning to "cloudsource."
2012-11-16 02:16:13 PM
1 votes:

Magorn: propasaurus: Thou shalt have no other gods...

Wait. There are other gods?

Well there WERE, but if you read the Old Testament literally God went all Michael Corleone on them and consoldiated the Family business



I hear He shot Enlil right in the eye.
2012-11-16 02:09:40 PM
1 votes:

Friskya: Wait a second...

You mean to tell me it's not "Thou shalt not omit adultery"?


That's on the third tablet;
* Thou shalt not commit adultery during weekends and holidays.
2012-11-16 02:06:26 PM
1 votes:
Wait a second...

You mean to tell me it's not "Thou shalt not omit adultery"?
2012-11-16 02:04:46 PM
1 votes:

wee: unlikely: want their state to succeed from the US

And they're doing very well, too!


As long as they don't try to secede.
wee [TotalFark]
2012-11-16 02:00:53 PM
1 votes:

unlikely: want their state to succeed from the US


And they're doing very well, too!
2012-11-16 01:24:59 PM
1 votes:

propasaurus: Thou shalt have no other gods...

Wait. There are other gods?


Well there WERE, but if you read the Old Testament literally God went all Michael Corleone on them and consoldiated the Family business
2012-11-16 01:23:54 PM
1 votes:

kid_icarus: simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.

the fine print.


j/k
2012-11-16 01:15:47 PM
1 votes:

Cyberluddite: The other 5 were simply advisory, and dealt with interpersonal relationships. Some biblical scholars believe that they read as follows:

11. Favor thine brothers before harlots.
12. If there be grass on the field, though mayest play ball.
13. Stickest not thy manhood into crazy.
14. Once thou hast gone black, thou shalt not again go back.
15. Remember always: No matter how fetching appearest thy neighbor's wife or thy neighbor's maidservant, some man, somewhere, and quite possibly thy neighbor, hath grown weary of her excrement.


+1 Internets.
2012-11-16 01:14:38 PM
1 votes:

simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.


Girl on girl.
2012-11-16 01:07:10 PM
1 votes:

Magorn: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

11)Thou shalt not be a douche to your fellow man: seriously knock it off, even if they dress funny, speak a different language or have different colored skin

12) Thou shalt not try to forcefully impose your religion or morality on others: I am the lord your god, *I* got the whole revealing my will to others thing, mmkay?

13) Thou Shalt not be Smug:Before you got these tablets you were just a s big a sinner as that guy you are looking down on, so cut it out

14) IF thou seest a guy with a short mustache and a funny haircut coming to power in your country, thou shalt GTFO immediately

15) Thou shalt shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.


16) Thou shalt read the thread before posting your Mel Brooks jpg, to make sure your Very Clever Joke hasn't already been beaten to death long before you got here.

*shakes fist at thread*
2012-11-16 01:01:31 PM
1 votes:

simplicimus: Paris1127: simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.

I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?

Well, the first 5 are man's relationship with God, the second 5 are man's relationship with fellow humans. No idea what would be on the third tablet.


Man's relationship with animals. Indiana Santorum found the lost tablets, so he knows what he's talking about when talks about a man and a turtle.
2012-11-16 01:00:00 PM
1 votes:

TheCharmerUnderMe: I'm sorry, but is that the All-seeing Eye in the pyramid above the eagle? What the hell is THAT doing on there?


i.imgur.com

Yup, that's the Masonic Eye--the eye of God as the providential Great Architect. Its on our U.S. money of course, and so I'm guessing they wanted a fusion of historically idolatrous symbols used to represent God's favor on the American Experiment. Seriously, the commandment in Exodus 20 expressly forbids making images of ANYTHING in Heaven as well as Earth. So with the Bald Eagle on there they're getting a two'fer deal.
2012-11-16 12:42:12 PM
1 votes:

simplicimus: Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.


Maybe you do, but the Jews have 613 commandments. That whole "Maimonides" thing.
2012-11-16 12:30:29 PM
1 votes:

simplicimus: Magorn: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Well actually THREE tablets, 5 on each, didn't you see the movie?

Yeah, I saw the movie. But on the bright side, we have 5 fewer commandments.


I wonder what was on that tablet... Perhaps a commandment about loving other people even if you disagree with him or her?
2012-11-16 12:13:54 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: simplicimus: The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?

Do you think any of 'em actually read any of the book?


Probably not.
2012-11-16 12:13:38 PM
1 votes:
They can't even get spelling right on the Ten Commandments yet they're all experts on interpreting the entire Bible and how we all should follow its words?
2012-11-16 12:10:12 PM
1 votes:
The design is wrong. It's two tablets, 5 on each. Did this guy even read the Old Testament?
2012-11-16 11:58:38 AM
1 votes:
Geez - give God a break! There was no such thing as spell-check when he gave them to Moses!
 
Displayed 90 of 90 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report