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(Huffington Post)   World's Biggest Liar Competition underway in England, sadly for Obama and Romney, lawyers and politicians are excluded under the rules as this is a strictly amateur competiton   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 71
    More: Amusing, Pinewood Studios, sports clubs, Tom Crone, Johnny Vaughan, England, Capital Radio  
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3155 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2012 at 1:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-16 01:19:41 PM
Is spentmiles competing?
 
2012-11-16 01:20:06 PM
Everything I say is a lie, but I'm really lying.
 
2012-11-16 01:20:48 PM
MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG
 
2012-11-16 01:21:09 PM
I won!!!! Got the $10 million grand prize, too!
 
2012-11-16 01:22:29 PM

ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG


That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.
 
2012-11-16 01:23:48 PM

Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.


Fortunately, he loves oral and his girlfriend is an anteater.
 
2012-11-16 01:24:21 PM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-11-16 01:25:11 PM
Romney and Obama? Nice fence-sitting, Pussymitter.
 
2012-11-16 01:25:16 PM
I had a threesome with Christina Ricci and Christina Hendricks. It was great, I didn't have to worry about saying the wrong name.
 
2012-11-16 01:26:13 PM
img91.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-16 01:26:32 PM

Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.


At least it's not a penis tank.
.
¶▅c●▄███████||▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅||█~ ~:~:~ :~:█►
▄██ PENIS PENIS PENIS ██▅▄▃▂
███████████████████████►
◥☼▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙☼◤
 
2012-11-16 01:26:41 PM
Atomic Spunk Smartest
Funniest
2012-11-16 01:25:11 PM


Romney and Obama? Nice fence-sitting, Pussymitter




That actually bothers you?
 
2012-11-16 01:26:43 PM

World's Biggest Liar Competition underway in England


Please tell me it's in Yorkshire...

*RsTFA*

Rats.
 
2012-11-16 01:27:30 PM

Atomic Spunk: Romney and Obama? Nice fence-sitting, Pussymitter.


That was the Mods not me, but it will cut down on the flame-war aspects of this thread

(and no I ain't telling you which one was there originally)
 
2012-11-16 01:29:40 PM
Magorn (favorite: Attorney): Atomic Spunk: Romney and Obama? Nice fence-sitting, Pussymitter.

That was the Mods not me, but it will cut down on the flame-war aspects of this thread


Nice try, but you're excluded from competing.
 
2012-11-16 01:31:39 PM

Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.


********************************************************************* * ********************************************************************** ******************
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ............................................................ *
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ..............................................................*
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... .............................................................. *
...................................................................My PENIS (actual size)................................................................. ..................................... 0
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... .............................................................. *
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ..............................................................*
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ............................................................ *
********************************************************************* * ********************************************************************** ******************

/and I'm not even hard.
 
2012-11-16 01:32:05 PM
I'd was a shoe-in for the win but Ron Swanson and I were busy curing bacon.
 
2012-11-16 01:32:14 PM

dv-ous: I had a threesome with Christina Ricci and Christina Hendricks. It was great, I didn't have to worry about saying the wrong name.


Why don't you call your own name out during sex like everyone else here does?
 
2012-11-16 01:33:39 PM
JackieRabbit Smartest
Funniest
2012-11-16 01:19:41 PM


Is spentmiles competing?




What makes him extraordinary is the fact that all of spentmiles' stories are, in fact, true.
 
2012-11-16 01:34:34 PM
How about the stolen valor dude from American Idol. He is such a big liar he claims he doesn't know he is lying. He was on Doctor Phil yesterday, what an idiot. (I know, I watched Doc Phil and I am therefore an idiot as well)
 
2012-11-16 01:38:30 PM

ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG


* As viewed on an iPhone.
 
2012-11-16 01:39:29 PM
My grandfather is 17 feet tall.

/disqualified by reason of being Official Tribe Liar
 
2012-11-16 01:40:52 PM
I hope they dont let anyone involved in politics enter. They would win every farking year!!!
 
2012-11-16 01:43:42 PM
www.dailyfundose.net
 
2012-11-16 01:44:08 PM
Back in 1934 I deliberately crash landed a light plane on the slopes of Mount Everest and climbed to the top.

Oh, wait, that was this idiot:

Link 

He formed a plan to fly a small aeroplane to Tibet, crash-land it on the upper slopes of Everest, and walk to the summit. It was a bold plan; a solo flight half way across the world would have been a significant undertaking for the best aviators of the day, while no mountaineer of the time would have contemplated a solo ascent of Everest - a feat which was not to be achieved until 1980. A practical problem was posed by the fact that Wilson knew nothing about either flying or mountaineering, so he set out to learn these.
 
2012-11-16 01:44:59 PM
Don't get to close to the pants on fire guy.
 
2012-11-16 01:46:49 PM
I am a Nigerian Royal who has millions owed to him but just needs $50,000 to obtain it.Please help
 
2012-11-16 01:52:22 PM
www.thealmightyguru.com
 
2012-11-16 01:52:28 PM
No point in me entering a contest like that. I'm a terrible liar.
 
2012-11-16 01:53:18 PM

ChipNASA: Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.

********************************************************************* * ********************************************************************** ******************
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ............................................................ *
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ..............................................................*
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... .............................................................. *
...................................................................My PENIS (actual size)................................................................. ..................................... 0
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... .............................................................. *
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ..............................................................*
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ............................................................ *
********************************************************************* * ** ...


I'm viewing this on a phone right now, so.... Also, is it supposed to be broken in half like that?
 
2012-11-16 01:56:12 PM
I swear, this isn't a lie. I was out there fishing off the shore just outside the Coast Guard base on Kodiak Island. The day was a bright, sunny 78 degrees in late August. So I was out there having ridden my bicycle the 18 miles uphill from the Lake Louise housing. It's not a bad ride. You can make it in the length of the Meatloaf song Bat out of Hell.

Back to the story, there I was tossing out a 4oz pixie some 80 yards out past the wreckage of the H-52 that went down back in '65. That's when this monster fish, I'm talking 40 lbs of coho hit the lure. Jesus what a monster. I know, you're thinking bullshiat, 40 lbs? The state record is only 28 lbs. Well I know that now. Shut up, I'm telling my story.

90 minutes of fighting this bastard and I finally manage to drag it up onto the beach. Son of a biatch if a goddamned sea lion didn't swim up and take the farking thing. Well before the farker could get back into the water I shot it with my old man's .357 I carried in case of bears.

You know the bears right? Huge farkers. Stand some 16 feet at the shoulder. Well this .357 had some black tips just to make sure. So I shoot this sea lion right in the back of it's head. It's brains get blown everywhere. The fish has some tooth marks but otherwise it's in good shape. fark it, we're hungry, we'll eat it.

So I strap this thing to the backpack, bring it back home and we make a big meal out of it. It gets smoked in our Little Chief, we have some fresh caught dungeness crab to go with it. Big crab too, the legs were 2 feet long if an inch.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
 
2012-11-16 02:00:46 PM
THE LIAR


I was born about ten thousand years ago
In Bellmullet in the County of Mayo
It was me that chased the vermin, while St. Patrick preached the sermon
And I'll whoop the man that says it isn't so

Chorus:
Singing rightful too-ra-laddie too-ra-lee
There is no one who can tell a lie like me
You can search until you tire, you won't find a bigger liar
I've been lying since the dawn of history

I saw Eve go pickin' apples off a tree
She came over and she offered one to me
I turned and said, "Dear madam, go try your luck with Adam
I'm going home to have some fish and chips and tea."

I saw Delilah cuttin' Samson's hair
She snipped away until his head was bare
When he couldn't run away, she married him next day
And they opened a barber shop in Clare

With King Billy at the Boyne I heard them call
On his followers to follow till they fall
Then he said, "We'll win quite easy, and we'll canonize, young Paisley."
Then he up and sang a verse of Derry's Walls

In was back in sixty-two in Donoghue's
I was singing there with Luke and Ronnie Drew
Luke sez, 'Nick your singing's grand, so let's form a ballad band
And a great big hairy beard I went and grew

Oh I'd like ride your sister's motor bike I'd like ride your sister's motor bike
I'd like ride your sister,  I'd like ride your sister I'd like ride your sister's motor bike

Would you like to ride on Johnson's Motor Car
would you like to ride on Johnson's Motor Car
Would you like to ride on Johnson, would you like to ride on Johnson
Would you like to ride on Johnson's Motor Car.

It was during World War II I met them all
There was Roosevelt and Churchill and De Gaulle
Then one day I nearly fainted, I was having my house painted
There was Hitler hanging paper in the hall
 
2012-11-16 02:00:57 PM

ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG


Both of them? One is shorter than the other.
 
2012-11-16 02:01:21 PM

ChipNASA: Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.

********************************************************************* * ********************************************************************** ******************
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ............................................................ *
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ..............................................................*
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... .............................................................. *
...................................................................My PENIS (actual size)................................................................. ..................................... 0
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... .............................................................. *
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ..............................................................*
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ............................................................ *
********************************************************************* * ** ...



Was this posted from your iPhone?
 
2012-11-16 02:05:39 PM

lostcat: No point in me entering a contest like that. I'm a terrible liar.


fry-iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg
 
2012-11-16 02:05:42 PM
Should have finished reading comments before posting. Oh well.
 
2012-11-16 02:05:57 PM

Trapper439: Back in 1934 I deliberately crash landed a light plane on the slopes of Mount Everest and climbed to the top.

Oh, wait, that was this idiot:


He didn't actually crash land his plane on Everest; it was impounded in India.

/guess you were lying ...
 
2012-11-16 02:07:00 PM

Valeriyance:

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men


Beat you to it........

www.stereoluz.net

 
2012-11-16 02:10:27 PM

ProfessorOhki: I'm viewing this on a phone right now, so.... Also, is it supposed to be broken in half like that?


I'm viewing it on a phone too, I think it's supposed to be a nub, maybe ChipNASA has a case of micropenis.
 
2012-11-16 02:13:05 PM
Please tell me more about Obama and Romney, it's such great reading
 
2012-11-16 02:14:00 PM
If any one can top this, I will be thoroughly impressed. So help me this is a true story...the story isn't the lie, but the story is about a lie.

My best friend of 20 years likes himself some strippers. Spends a considerable amount of time at strip clubs. He's a crazy looking BRIGHT red haired guy, like carrot-top red, and it's long and down to the base of his back. Big red beard, looks a lot like Hamish from Braveheart, only creepier.

So, we used to do this thing where we'd talk like Scotsmen after Braveheart came out. We just ran around doining it wherever we went, we even picked up a book on Scottish slang to sound authentic. He got REALLY good at it. Just some goofy shiat guys do in their 20s. Well, we're almost 40 now.

We forgot about our Scotsmen days, as time moved on and we did other crazy shiat. About two years ago, he decides to bring it back. He goes into a strip club, and decides he's going to be scottish. The whole time he's there. Well, the girls fawned all over him, at least as he tells it, which doesn't surprise me - strippers are easily amused. So he keeps going back. For two years. Scottish every time he goes. He has a back story, about his home in the hihglands, blah blah blah...I wish I could remember all the details because the story iteself is pretty entertaining. So, he's talking like a Scot, getting lap dances, for a couple of years, and one of the strippers takes a pretty serious liking to him.

They're dating now. Have been for months. And he has to be a Scotsman around her ALL THE TIME. When they go out. When they stay in When they fark. When he wakes up in the morning next to her. ALL THE TIME.

We just talked a bit ago, and he's in love with her. And he has no idea what to do about it. She thinks they're gonna go back to his homeland, live in the highlands, restore the family farm, raise a family of little lying redheads...

I don't know what to tell him. On one hand, I want to tell him, as a friend, that he needs to come clean with her, and maybe she'll still love him, maybe she won't, but at least he will have his sanity back. But the problem is, there wasn't much sanity there to begin with - clearly. And the other problem is, IT'S F(_)CKING HILARIOUS, and I don't to stop hearing the stories.
 
2012-11-16 02:14:15 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: World's Biggest Liar Competition underway in England


Please tell me it's in Yorkshire...

*RsTFA*

Rats.


When we were kids, we had it rough!
 
2012-11-16 02:20:35 PM

Silverstaff: ProfessorOhki: I'm viewing this on a phone right now, so.... Also, is it supposed to be broken in half like that?

I'm viewing it on a phone too, I think it's supposed to be a nub, maybe ChipNASA has a case of micropenis.


I AM NOT TYPING MY POSTS ON ON AN iPHONE USING MY PENIS AS A STYLUS!!!!!

/runs away crying....LOL!!! 8=========D~~
 
2012-11-16 02:29:46 PM

Quadruple Entendre: If any one can top this, I will be thoroughly impressed. So help me this is a true story...the story isn't the lie, but the story is about a lie.

My best friend of 20 years likes himself some strippers. Spends a considerable amount of time at strip clubs. He's a crazy looking BRIGHT red haired guy, like carrot-top red, and it's long and down to the base of his back. Big red beard, looks a lot like Hamish from Braveheart, only creepier.

So, we used to do this thing where we'd talk like Scotsmen after Braveheart came out. We just ran around doining it wherever we went, we even picked up a book on Scottish slang to sound authentic. He got REALLY good at it. Just some goofy shiat guys do in their 20s. Well, we're almost 40 now.

We forgot about our Scotsmen days, as time moved on and we did other crazy shiat. About two years ago, he decides to bring it back. He goes into a strip club, and decides he's going to be scottish. The whole time he's there. Well, the girls fawned all over him, at least as he tells it, which doesn't surprise me - strippers are easily amused. So he keeps going back. For two years. Scottish every time he goes. He has a back story, about his home in the hihglands, blah blah blah...I wish I could remember all the details because the story iteself is pretty entertaining. So, he's talking like a Scot, getting lap dances, for a couple of years, and one of the strippers takes a pretty serious liking to him.

They're dating now. Have been for months. And he has to be a Scotsman around her ALL THE TIME. When they go out. When they stay in When they fark. When he wakes up in the morning next to her. ALL THE TIME.

We just talked a bit ago, and he's in love with her. And he has no idea what to do about it. She thinks they're gonna go back to his homeland, live in the highlands, restore the family farm, raise a family of little lying redheads...

I don't know what to tell him. On one hand, I want to tell him, as a friend, that he ...


That's...pretty awesome on all levels. He should tell her the truth, and remind her she's a stripper, if needed. In fact, you may want to remind HIM that she's a stripper.
 
2012-11-16 02:30:23 PM

Quadruple Entendre: If any one can top this, I will be thoroughly impressed. So help me this is a true story...the story isn't the lie, but the story is about a lie.

My best friend of 20 years likes himself some strippers. Spends a considerable amount of time at strip clubs. He's a crazy looking BRIGHT red haired guy, like carrot-top red, and it's long and down to the base of his back. Big red beard, looks a lot like Hamish from Braveheart, only creepier.

So, we used to do this thing where we'd talk like Scotsmen after Braveheart came out. We just ran around doining it wherever we went, we even picked up a book on Scottish slang to sound authentic. He got REALLY good at it. Just some goofy shiat guys do in their 20s. Well, we're almost 40 now.

We forgot about our Scotsmen days, as time moved on and we did other crazy shiat. About two years ago, he decides to bring it back. He goes into a strip club, and decides he's going to be scottish. The whole time he's there. Well, the girls fawned all over him, at least as he tells it, which doesn't surprise me - strippers are easily amused. So he keeps going back. For two years. Scottish every time he goes. He has a back story, about his home in the hihglands, blah blah blah...I wish I could remember all the details because the story iteself is pretty entertaining. So, he's talking like a Scot, getting lap dances, for a couple of years, and one of the strippers takes a pretty serious liking to him.

They're dating now. Have been for months. And he has to be a Scotsman around her ALL THE TIME. When they go out. When they stay in When they fark. When he wakes up in the morning next to her. ALL THE TIME.

We just talked a bit ago, and he's in love with her. And he has no idea what to do about it. She thinks they're gonna go back to his homeland, live in the highlands, restore the family farm, raise a family of little lying redheads...

I don't know what to tell him. On one hand, I want to tell him, as a friend, that he ...


I think he needs to go back to Scotland, rebuild the "family" farm, and raise sheep.

Not enough sheep in the world.

BAAAAAA!
 
2012-11-16 02:32:10 PM

Rufus Lee King: FARK is one of the most intellectually stimulating websites I have ever seen.


It sucked pretty hard until you showed up.
 
2012-11-16 02:35:14 PM
Remember when I told you that I would never lie? Well, that was the first time.
 
2012-11-16 02:44:21 PM
I submitted this with a better headline.
 
2012-11-16 02:48:46 PM
The cake.
 
2012-11-16 02:49:21 PM

ChipNASA: Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.

********************************************************************* * ********************************************************************** ******************
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ............................................................ *
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ..............................................................*
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... .............................................................. *
...................................................................My PENIS (actual size)................................................................. ..................................... 0
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... .............................................................. *
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ..............................................................*
..................................................................... . ...................................................................... ............................................................ *
********************************************************************* * ** ...


Your wee-wee has stripes like a Yankees uniform?
 
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