Those food stamps do get mighty cold when I'm walking in to the liquor store from the bentley my welfare check paid for.

Endive Wombat:
Maybe it is because I am almost 30 and now with a little bit of life behind me

I just now realized I've been voting about as long as Endive has been on this earth.



*picks up cane, hobbles away to get drunk*

bwilson27: Wait, college girls love to fark?

Not you, silly!

More_Like_A_Stain: Endive Wombat: I see limited sized government more in a what I can and cannot do aspect rather than a monetary aspect. If I want to build a 60ft tall pink dildo on my property, I should be allowed.

You pickin' up what I'm throwin' down?


Big government again. Without out government intrusion, how will we know if your 60ft tall pink dildo is structurally sound? Are the materials used certified as safe for such an application? Were worker safety standards followed during construction? An entire new bureaucracy will have to be formed, as surely you can't be saying that the local county building department is prepared to take on such a burden.

So you think there will be an enormous number of people wanting big pink dildos in their yard if we were to allow it?

That's interesting.

Endive Wombat: I see limited sized government more in a what I can and cannot do aspect rather than a monetary aspect. If I want to build a 60ft tall pink dildo on my property, I should be allowed.

You pickin' up what I'm throwin' down?


Big government again. Without out government intrusion, how will we know if your 60ft tall pink dildo is structurally sound? Are the materials used certified as safe for such an application? Were worker safety standards followed during construction? An entire new bureaucracy will have to be formed, as surely you can't be saying that the local county building department is prepared to take on such a burden.

Wait a minute...I got no pinata in my gift bag. What the fark, Obama?! I'm a goddamned Ohio voter! Now I'll never vote for you for reelection again!!!

Although perhaps it was a little more targeted for Ohioans...we did get a lovely Ohio State EBT card holder and a pack of cheetos to go with the huge bag of weed.

sparkeyjames: Dr.Zom: No Obamaphone?

Excuse me for getting serious here. The Obamaphone is actually a George W. Bush invention. I'm serious here stop laughing.
Republican Saint, Ronald Reagan in 1984 with the FCC created a program called Lifeline. A program to help welfare and other
government assistance recipients get affordable telephone service. In 2008 then President Bush updated this FCC program to include Cellular
phones. Hence GWB invented the Obamaphone or is that the GWBphone?
The program does not get one dollar of your income taxes. It is paid for by a sir-tax on existing telephone service.

Really? Do I have to do this for every thread, where people mis-remember history or whatever?

Dr.Zom: No Obamaphone?

Excuse me for getting serious here. The Obamaphone is actually a George W. Bush invention. I'm serious here stop laughing.
Republican Saint, Ronald Reagan in 1984 with the FCC created a program called Lifeline. A program to help welfare and other
government assistance recipients get affordable telephone service. In 2008 then President Bush updated this FCC program to include Cellular
phones. Hence GWB invented the Obamaphone or is that the GWBphone?
The program does not get one dollar of your income taxes. It is paid for by a sir-tax on existing telephone service.

Endive Wombat: You pickin' up what I'm throwin' down?

You do realize that those very logical arguments make you, by todays standards, a rainbow flag waving godless communist liberal.

I know, I don't think the standards make any sense either.

spcMike: Endive Wombat: As a conservative

A real conservative would've bought an American car.

A real conservative would've bought a 60 foot pink dildo.

/ interesting that spellcheck recognizes the word "dildo"
// but not the word "spellcheck"

lennavan: So you think there will be an enormous number of people wanting big pink dildos in their yard if we were to allow it?

That's interesting.


What!? That wasn't over the top whackadoodle enough for you? You really thought I was advocating an entire new regulatory agency charged with dildo construction safety?

QueenMamaBee: So where do I donate to the 60 Ft Tall Pink Dildo fund? Because that would be worth a road trip just to have an awesome story for the great grandkids one day.

Size queen.

TheOther: What about power consumption? Is it Green? Does it run on Ancient Alien D-cells or is it hooked up to the grid? When you turn it on, will the vibrations cause nearby buildings to collapse? earthquakes? Whale beachings?

Point of order: "Dildos" are not necessarily "Vibrators", and likewise, not all "Vibrators" are "Dildos".

QueenMamaBee: So where do I donate to the 60 Ft Tall Pink Dildo fund? Because that would be worth a road trip just to have an awesome story for the great grandkids one day.

See? What did I just tell you? Freaking Tourists...

YoungSwedishBlonde: Well, it all depends on how "minority" you look. You know, sorta like those signs at the amusement park, but like "You must be this dark to collect welfare" instead.

I have Indian (casino, not mini-mart) ancestry, but at this time of year I'm just slightly darker than khaki. Do I have to wait til summer til I get my free stuff?

Needlessly Complicated: I was told I would get a pony.


Still waiting.

Well, it all depends on how "minority" you look. You know, sorta like those signs at the amusement park, but like "You must be this dark to collect welfare" instead.

QueenMamaBee: I have a 66 Ford Mustang for sale!!! :)

$20. Cash money right now.

bulldg4life: Bleyo: We just haven't updated what we label ourselves.

People always fight to label themselves conservative. Part of it is making themselves seem sensible and part of it is the dirty connotation that liberal or progressive has become within american society.

I'm a liberal.

I'm taking it back!

So where do I donate to the 60 Ft Tall Pink Dildo fund? Because that would be worth a road trip just to have an awesome story for the great grandkids one day.

Endive Wombat: I think that once the nervous system of the developing fetus surpasses the complexity of a lobster

This sounds suspiciously like anti-mollusk bigotry. Who's paying you? Is it the crustacean lobby? IS IT?

More_Like_A_Stain: Endive Wombat: I see limited sized government more in a what I can and cannot do aspect rather than a monetary aspect. If I want to build a 60ft tall pink dildo on my property, I should be allowed.

You pickin' up what I'm throwin' down?


Big government again. Without out government intrusion, how will we know if your 60ft tall pink dildo is structurally sound? Are the materials used certified as safe for such an application? Were worker safety standards followed during construction? An entire new bureaucracy will have to be formed, as surely you can't be saying that the local county building department is prepared to take on such a burden.

What about power consumption? Is it Green? Does it run on Ancient Alien D-cells or is it hooked up to the grid? When you turn it on, will the vibrations cause nearby buildings to collapse? earthquakes? Whale beachings?

So I've heard this a few times now and my question is

HOW DO I GET MY STUDENT LOANS FORGIVEN!

Seriously, when was this magical plan to release people from their student loan debt passed? I want to get in on some of that sweet sweet loan forgiveness as my wife and I (now in our mid 30's) will most likely be just finishing paying off our grad school loans when my daughter is ready to go to college.

Jon Stewart reaches into the Obama 2012 gift bag

in our new segment, "Jon Stewart checks out a man's sack".

Wait, college girls love to fark?

graggor: whats the deal folks? states that go for romney have a higher percentage of their population on welfare.
States that go for obama have a lower percentage on welfare....

Obama obviously bought off all of the states that vote for him by giving them enough handouts that they don't qualify for welfare any more. Hard to justify yourself at the welfare office when you roll up in your Obama Motors Cadillac.

Welfare checks.

wow.

You guys realize about 4.75 million people in the country receive welfare checks right?

And these are the amounts you can receive...
In georgia a single parent with a family of 3 receives 280 dollars. (this is the max if she is not working as well....280 dollars)

IN vermont its 640 a month.

How about food stamps?

Big liberal Illinois. 1.891 million people on food stamps in Illinois. Liberals... (12 million people live in Illinois)
Then big conservative Georgia... 1.91 million people on food stamps...Population 10 million...

How about Texas vs California?
California has 4.1 million people on food stamps with a population of 37.6 million people.
Texas has 3.9 million people on food stamps with a population of 25 million people...

I keep seeing a common theme here.

whats the deal folks? states that go for romney have a higher percentage of their population on welfare.
States that go for obama have a lower percentage on welfare....

weird.

No Obamaphone?

Not a bad Daily Show, but Colbert knocked it out of the park with the soap opera sketch.