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(Gizmodo)   Suspected murderer John McAfee asks around the internet if anyone knows of a cell phone that can't be tracked. Expected to soon tweet his complaints about how expensive lye is   (gizmodo.com) divider line 27
    More: Dumbass, John McAfee, cell phones, mobile phone signal, murderers, lye  
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10813 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2012 at 1:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-16 11:19:01 AM  
19 votes:
I can't wait until they find him.

They'll probably give him a free 30-day trial, then charge him out the ass for shoddy protection
2012-11-16 01:36:40 PM  
8 votes:
The police in Belize search mainly in the trees.
2012-11-16 01:36:47 PM  
6 votes:
I'm picturing the detective assigned to the case. He probably has lots of other cases he's working on but every 15 minutes he gets a popup on his computer screen saying "It's time to update the McAfee case again." 


heh
2012-11-16 01:42:15 PM  
5 votes:

styckx: scottydoesntknow: I can't wait until they find him.

They'll probably give him a free 30-day trial, then charge him out the ass for shoddy protection

This joke has been told over 9,000 times


2.bp.blogspot.com
2012-11-16 01:56:27 PM  
4 votes:

Stone Meadow: [threadjack]
Is there such a thing as an anonymous cell phone? IOW, one that isn't tied to a credit card or something else that identifies you? This is for a BiL who's semi homeless and doesn't have any credit, but who will carry a phone if my wife (his sister) buys it for him. He doesn't want a regular cheap cell phone tho because "they" will be tracking him and trying to sell him shiat, etc.. TIA
[/threadjack]


Ppfffffffft. Whatever, McAfee.
2012-11-16 01:37:10 PM  
3 votes:

Diogenes: The Prime Minister of Belize yesterday called McAfee "bonkers."

Is "bonkers" a cognate?


img21.imageshack.us
2012-11-16 02:22:35 PM  
2 votes:

scopecreep: I have a question: could anyone who replies with helpful information in that forum post be charged with accessory after the fact to murder?  I mean we know that's his normal forum handle and that he's under investigation for murder.


No, absolutely not. I am an American lawyer who specializes in Belize criminal law, and I can categorically state that you can say absolutely anything at all on the internet, without any fear of repercussions or criminal penalties of any kind, no matter how egregiously immoral the advice you give might be.

And you know that what I'm saying must be true, because you can go to jail for lying or providing false information on the internet.
2012-11-16 02:00:33 PM  
2 votes:
They are going to back trace him.
Consequences will never be the same.
2012-11-16 01:39:44 PM  
2 votes:

GreenAdder: Bath salts, dude. Not even once.


McAfee antivirus dude. Not even once.
2012-11-16 01:39:36 PM  
2 votes:
If he died from a virus, would that be ironic?
2012-11-16 11:08:39 AM  
2 votes:
Bath salts, dude. Not even once.
2012-11-16 04:59:15 PM  
1 votes:
geekz.co.uk
2012-11-16 04:56:06 PM  
1 votes:

charttn: thisisarepeat: Why pay for lye? Just take ashes from your charcoal grill or fire place (wood ash) and put it in your drip style coffee maker where the grounds go. Don't drink what comes out, cuz its lye.

I don't believe you
.
.
.
:)


Believe him. He's a habitual lyer.
2012-11-16 04:01:56 PM  
1 votes:

downtownkid: shot the prick in the head.


Ouch. Reminds me of that Bon Jovi song:

Johnny shot himself in the cock
Shoved a gun down his pants,
and the trigger got caught
It's tough, so tough.

/We got to hold on to what we got...
2012-11-16 03:28:40 PM  
1 votes:
The lesson here is: If you're mega rich and living in a foreign country, PAY YOUR DAMN BRIBES!
2012-11-16 02:49:23 PM  
1 votes:
I run McAfee security on my Linux system running Reiser FS.

Why are you looking at me funny? I've got a knife, you know.
2012-11-16 02:46:52 PM  
1 votes:
It's like he was eaten by the politics tab and shat out after a cheap beer binge.
2012-11-16 02:41:06 PM  
1 votes:
His arch-rival Norton Symantec probably has one, but he's still at large...
2012-11-16 02:32:00 PM  
1 votes:
This is what happens when millionaires think it would be cool to run off and live in a libertarian paradise.
2012-11-16 02:19:53 PM  
1 votes:
2012-11-16 02:18:27 PM  
1 votes:

scopecreep: I have a question: could anyone who replies with helpful information in that forum post be charged with accessory after the fact to murder?  I mean we know that's his normal forum handle and that he's under investigation for murder.


Crime Facilitating Speech. Answer is: Maybe. Maybe not. It depends.

I suspect our discussion of possible methods here wouldn't be construed as directly helping him. Directly answering his request, however, might be.

/IANAL
//Also, I am not a lawyer.
2012-11-16 01:59:14 PM  
1 votes:

The Larch: ..a spa where trained therapists holistically rebalance the natural symbiotic flora in a client's body, to restore physical, mental, and spiritual well being. Basically, you know, a massage parlor that sells criminally expensive yogurt enemas to idiots like Gwyneth Paltrow. All of the girls who work there would be young and good looking, and have tasteful tattoos and unusual hair color, and would be trained to use a lot of fancy pseudo-science new-agey crap words shamelessly stolen from the real biology research that has been in the popular press recently.


We call it "Portland"
2012-11-16 01:57:25 PM  
1 votes:

thisisarepeat: Why pay for lye? Just take ashes from your charcoal grill or fire place (wood ash) and put it in your drip style coffee maker where the grounds go. Don't drink what comes out, cuz its lye.


Uh, ya, that's a reasonable way to obtain enough lye to dissolve a corpse. The damn thing would be rotted before you were halfway through.
2012-11-16 01:53:58 PM  
1 votes:
I was very disappointed to learn that "Quorum Sensing" was McCafee's name for some new-age stoner pseudo-science crap, and not some nifty new computer technology he was working on.

And before anyone jumps on me, I am aware that quorum sensing is a name for a real thing, that describes a real phenomenon, observed by real biologists, in real laboratories.

Anyhow, all this talk eminds me of an investment opportunity that I'd like to offer to farkers with a lot of money and not a lot of brains. I'd like to find people who want to invest in a spa where trained therapists holistically rebalance the natural symbiotic flora in a client's body, to restore physical, mental, and spiritual well being. Basically, you know, a massage parlor that sells criminally expensive yogurt enemas to idiots like Gwyneth Paltrow. All of the girls who work there would be young and good looking, and have tasteful tattoos and unusual hair color, and would be trained to use a lot of fancy pseudo-science new-agey crap words shamelessly stolen from the real biology research that has been in the popular press recently. I figure I could make a killing with this. Specifically, you know, I think I could make a lot of money by fleecing the investors out of their money. I'm sure as hell not going to actually open any massage parlors that spoons yogurt into Gwyneth Paltrow's butt. Or maybe I will... that actually kind of sounds like a good idea on some levels. Anyhow, if you're rich and stupid, send me money and find out what I do with it.
2012-11-16 01:51:52 PM  
1 votes:

styckx: scottydoesntknow: I can't wait until they find him.

They'll probably give him a free 30-day trial, then charge him out the ass for shoddy protection

This joke has been told over 9,000 times


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2012-11-16 01:44:46 PM  
1 votes:
What a man who wants an untraceable phone might look like:

img838.imageshack.us
2012-11-16 11:37:58 AM  
1 votes:
"Well this is awkward..."
 
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