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(The Windsor Star)   Just how friendly is Canada? Stephen Colbert calls Windsor, Ontario the "Earth's Rectum." Windsor responds by inviting him to lead the Christmas Parade this year   (windsorstar.com) divider line 130
    More: Amusing, Christmas Parade, Earth  
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7214 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2012 at 10:21 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-16 01:45:37 PM  

rwfan: ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website

How is the Pinery? Still awesome?


no the pinery has been run down a bit by kids wanting to drink on holiday weekends
 
2012-11-16 02:03:30 PM  
I guess it all depends on whether your idea of the world's rectum looks like this

photos1.blogger.com
Markham, ON

or like this...

3.bp.blogspot.com
Windsor, ON

Either way, Ontario has it all!
 
2012-11-16 02:34:31 PM  

Boris S. Wort: I guess it all depends on whether your idea of the world's rectum looks like this

[photos1.blogger.com image 500x373]
Markham, ON

or like this...

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON

Either way, Ontario has it all!


Meh, check out Sault Ste. Marie, ON if you want industrial wasteland.
 
2012-11-16 02:36:59 PM  
born and raised in windsor and I quite like it. has everything you need in a medium sized city. Sports and shows right across the river. plus the economy is picking up.
 
2012-11-16 02:39:50 PM  

rwfan: Boris S. Wort: I guess it all depends on whether your idea of the world's rectum looks like this

[photos1.blogger.com image 500x373]
Markham, ON

or like this...

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON

Either way, Ontario has it all!

Meh, check out Sault Ste. Marie, ON if you want industrial wasteland.


Oh and if Windsor is the rectum and Detroit is the turd, Zug Island across the river is a special little turdlette.
 
2012-11-16 02:40:52 PM  
Meh. It's a bit of a shiathole but I can think of a lot of worse places.

/Canadian
 
2012-11-16 02:45:49 PM  
Lived in Kingsville and loved it. Moved to Windsor and hated it. Now I'm back in the States. Michigan is somewhere in between the two.

/6th grade teacher was an unabashed 'Yank Hater'
//His favorite person was Sir John A McDonald
///His least favorite person was me, cause I was a 'Yank'
 
2012-11-16 02:51:14 PM  

rwfan: Ever been to Killarney or sailed in the Georgian Bay? The provincial parks in Ontario are the best, IMHO. I have many found memories of Algonquin. I hope I can take my kids backpacking/canoeing in either Killarney or Alqonquin in the next couple of years.


Can't say as I've done Killarney or the Georgian Bay area, but Algonquin's always held great memories for me; caught about 70 fish in 90 minutes in the Madawaska as a kid. Haven't been in 6 years, though, should probably correct that this summer.

Boris S. Wort: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON


Er... pretty sure that's actually Zug Island in Detroit. The Canadian side is the little sliver on the right with about 90% of the entire green part of this photo.

/Not that we don't live downwind from all the pollution, of course
//Hooray, dying 3 years earlier on average
 
2012-11-16 03:01:11 PM  

ds_4815: Boris S. Wort: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON

Er... pretty sure that's actually Zug Island in Detroit. The Canadian side is the little sliver on the right with about 90% of the entire green part of this photo.


LOL, you're right!
 
2012-11-16 03:16:18 PM  
Yeah, Zug Island is the source of a lot of the "bad smell" you get in Windsor.

/grew up too in Windsor, 8-13 yrs old
//Villages of Riverside ftl
//Riverside High School alumni
 
2012-11-16 03:30:29 PM  

Boris S. Wort: I guess it all depends on whether your idea of the world's rectum looks like this

[photos1.blogger.com image 500x373]
Markham, ON

or like this...

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON

Either way, Ontario has it all!


Did you notice that big international border on the right hand side your picture? That is not a picture of Windsor (except maybe that tiny sliver in the corner). And I would be shocked if you can't find similar subdivisions in Windsor suburbs as your one from Markham.
 
2012-11-16 03:40:05 PM  

roughridersfan: Decillion:

I've also NEVER seen milk in a plastic bag. Maybe it's an Ontario thing because I never saw it in Saskatchewan or Manitoba. I grew up seeing milk in cartons and, eventually, in plastic jugs.


Yeppers, it's an Eastern thing. We had milk-bags when I was a kid in Ontario, but then when we moved one province over to Manitoba it was cartons only.

This is awesome:

"We warmly welcome Mr. Colbert to lead the parade and go where no man has gone before."

heh.
 
2012-11-16 03:45:11 PM  

gund goat: born and raised in windsor and I quite like it. has everything you need in a medium sized city. Sports and shows right across the river. plus the economy is picking up.


When I was living in Detroit (late 70s) a typical Saturday was to go over the Ambassador Bridge into Windsor and spend the afternoon shopping, bar hopping, dinner, etc. I even had a "local" - a place called the Red Lion on Sandwich Street. Wonder if it's still there?

Anyway, I thought Windsor was a damned nice place to hang out. Even thought about moving over there but the writing was already on the wall about Detroit. Too bad . . .
 
2012-11-16 03:49:36 PM  

gopher321: Yeah, Zug Island is the source of a lot of the "bad smell" you get in Windsor.

/grew up too in Windsor, 8-13 yrs old
//Villages of Riverside ftl
//Riverside High School alumni


In the up left hand corner of the "Windsor" picture, which is really Zug Island, you can see part the Detroit's massive waste water treatment plant. That's directly upwind of Windsor. There is where your Eau de Rectum smell is coming from.
 
2012-11-16 04:01:47 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: I even had a "local" - a place called the Red Lion on Sandwich Street. Wonder if it's still there?


Rings a bell. Do you remember roughly where it would've been in the city?
 
2012-11-16 04:08:15 PM  

ds_4815: OldManDownDRoad: I even had a "local" - a place called the Red Lion on Sandwich Street. Wonder if it's still there?

Rings a bell. Do you remember roughly where it would've been in the city?


Heh - yeah, you could see the city jail (a block or so away) from the front door of the pub. Not exactly a pinpoint locator, but that was always a subject of discussion.

Actually, I found the Windsor cops to be a lot easier to deal with than the Detroit guys. And the guards on the American side of the bridge were always dicks for some reason. I mean, why risk smuggling weed to the US when all you had to do was go to Belle Isle and ask one of the friendly local dealers hanging out? I think they just liked making us all get out of the car and stand around.
 
2012-11-16 04:10:42 PM  

Reverend Monkeypants: It was better than Detroit, that's for sure


methinks you damn it with faint praise.
 
2012-11-16 04:15:42 PM  

Decillion: HaHa never heard of the theatre thing. But we do drink milk from plastic bags. It doesn't get any more patriotic than that.


I haven't done this myself. Although the poor kids across the street have.

What century do you live in?
 
2012-11-16 04:19:21 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: Heh - yeah, you could see the city jail (a block or so away) from the front door of the pub. Not exactly a pinpoint locator, but that was always a subject of discussion.


I'm almost never down that way (and no, the occasions I am do NOT involve the jail), but a quick Google Street View perusal yields nothing. Plenty of newer pubs in older buildings in that area of town, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if it still operates under a different name.
 
2012-11-16 04:23:57 PM  

ds_4815: OldManDownDRoad: Heh - yeah, you could see the city jail (a block or so away) from the front door of the pub. Not exactly a pinpoint locator, but that was always a subject of discussion.

I'm almost never down that way (and no, the occasions I am do NOT involve the jail), but a quick Google Street View perusal yields nothing. Plenty of newer pubs in older buildings in that area of town, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if it still operates under a different name.


Yeah, wouldn't be surprised. Nice neighborhood, some offices (doctors, dentists, and such) and small shops. That was the area I was thinking of buying in, but decided to head back South after it became apparent that Detroit wasn't working out. The owner wasn't exactly young then, I can see him retiring and selling out to someone who thought "Red Lion" was a little old-fashioned.
 
2012-11-16 04:33:39 PM  

Any Pie Left: As an American, I have to say I've always liked Canada and Canadians, even when they beat the Black Hawks at hockey. As a kid, my folks drove us to visit a distant relative in Windsor. My everlasting impressions of WIndsor from that time were: BOY, this place is kept spotlessly clean - not a speck of trash on any road or sidewalk, everything looks swept and dusted and tidy, compared to Chicago, and everyone is SO DAMNed Polite.

My second impression was how patriotic the people were: we went to the movies and they played a clip of the Maple Leaf Flag and everyone stood and sang their anthem, which sounds very nice, by the way; firm, yet understated, confident and reverent. As a kid, I sat back down and thought, as the film started to play, why don't we do that in our theaters, only at sports events?

Do Canadian theaters still do that? I'd like to think they do, but I expect that's no longer the case today.


It was a British custom (you can see references to it in Monty Python's Flying Circus) to sing "God Save the King (or Queen)" before performances of plays and later film showings.

This probably ended in most places by the late 60s or early 70s but they even did it in the British equivalent of Vaudeville shows, where it probably led to audience restlessness in less patriotic times.

A patriotic image (such as the famous 1950s image of the Queen on a horse) was probably displayed at the time and the theatre piano player or sound system would provide the music.

I don't recall this being done when I was a child in the 1960s and 70s, so it must have been abandoned to shorten the length of programmes, and was most likely discarded along with the news reel and cartoon(s) as theatres sought greater profits, faster turnaround, and gave up keeping people out of the theatre until a break in the programme.

Going to the theatre, even for a movie, was once an event that evoked a sense of occasion and back when men still wore hats and suits on the street and ladies wore their hats in church, the anthem was part of the pomp and ceremony, although resented by the same sort of yahoos who boo the national anthem today (Quebequers and Philadelphia Fliers fans).

Just kidding. A lot of other people are yahoos, too.

The fact that you remember hearing "Oh, Canada" suggests that either Windsor was more with it than much of small town Ontario or that you were there after 1967. Earlier it might have been "God Save the Queen", "God Save the King", or even "the Maple Leaf Forever", which like the Canadian Red Ensign (a naval flag) was belovèd in Ontario and difficult to supplant with more recent and less British emblems and symbols.

When I was a child there were a lot of old people who insited on "God Save the Queen" and either the Red Enseign or the UK Union Jack. I thing some of them were flying an early version. Many of these, as public school substitute teachers, would insist on singing the national anthem (almost always "God Save the Queen") at the beginning of the day and a reading from the Bible although they weren't supposed to do that. We'd tell them that they weren't supposed to do that, but they'd do that anyway. What the Heck, it was a waste of a good ten or fifteen minutes at the beginning of class. We didn't circle the desks and drive them out of the classroom, even though many of the students were French.

Canadian Republicans were Monarchists in those days.

This patriotism was deeply embued in them before the Liberals took over their rural world but it may have been partly due to American immigrants living next to British immigrants in great numbers. The percentage of Canadians who were of British ancestry peaked in 1871, while the percentage who were French peaked around the early Sixties. I suspect the rambunctiousness of both populations at or near their peak was partly demographic--a lot of young people with ants in their pants and a lot of older people worried about the coming fall.

This may also explain American politics since 1988 or thereabouts.

But this is no doubt too much information for most readers, even the Canuckistanis, so I will stop with that thought.
 
2012-11-16 06:39:12 PM  

brantgoose: It was a British custom (you can see references to it in Monty Python's Flying Circus) to sing "God Save the King (or Queen)" before performances of plays and later film showings.


Not really surprising and (at least in North America) it is customary to sing the national anthem before major sporting events.
 
2012-11-16 07:46:43 PM  
The anus is Bismarck, ND -- after all, it is just south of Regina.
 
2012-11-16 08:19:33 PM  

Max Awesome: roughridersfan: Decillion:

I've also NEVER seen milk in a plastic bag. Maybe it's an Ontario thing because I never saw it in Saskatchewan or Manitoba. I grew up seeing milk in cartons and, eventually, in plastic jugs.

Yeppers, it's an Eastern thing. We had milk-bags when I was a kid in Ontario, but then when we moved one province over to Manitoba it was cartons only.

This is awesome:

"We warmly welcome Mr. Colbert to lead the parade and go where no man has gone before."

heh.


We had them in BC back in the eighties when I was a kid, I remember putting the milk bag into the plastic container and snipping the end off to make a spout. Maybe you're too young to remember them?
 
2012-11-17 12:27:28 AM  
And it won't be the first time Colbert has traveled up a rectum.
 
2012-11-17 12:30:14 AM  

ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website


My condolences; I fled in 1995. Was back in town recently, noticed the population is now over 220,000. Asked my family about it and they swear up and down that Windsor is growing again. (I decided against asking if this was akin to a corpse bloating in the sun as I was spending almost a week staying with them and I really wanted Mom to cook me breakfast.)
 
2012-11-17 12:37:51 AM  

NephilimNexus: What is particularly amusing is that Windsor is well known as being one of the most anti-US cities in Canada... being that on any given Friday night there are more Yanks than Canadians there, they've had plenty of experience with hordes of obnoxious, beer swilling 19 and 20 years old drunkards from across the river.

Places where the economy is based primarily on tourism are always populated by people who hate tourists. Florida is the same way.

Once you get deeper into Canada everyone becomes more stereotypically super-friendly, though.


Amusingly (or sadly), this came up for me just a month ago. A really nice American was giving a few of us a tour of an interesting project they're involved with, and while we were waiting for everyone to show up we got to talking about ourselves to pass the time. I mentioned that I was from Windsor and no one knew where that was. So I said "Right across the river from Detroit." to which a Canadian University student asked "Are you American?". Without thinking I said "Hell no!" then spent the next five minutes apologizing to the American giving us the tour and explaining that I'm from Windsor, and we really don't like being called Americans. Been out of Windsor for 17 years and it's still an automatic reaction for me.

/I do miss getting drunk in the parks near the Ambassador Bridge, talking about all the cars coming across from Detroit as if they were full of 19yr old college guys coming over here to get drunk while watching Canadian strippers. I'm told we had some really good nights doing that.
 
2012-11-17 12:43:29 AM  

Techhell: ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website

My condolences; I fled in 1995. Was back in town recently, noticed the population is now over 220,000. Asked my family about it and they swear up and down that Windsor is growing again. (I decided against asking if this was akin to a corpse bloating in the sun as I was spending almost a week staying with them and I really wanted Mom to cook me breakfast.)


While I'm not quite as cynical about the city as a whole ("hole"?), that's pretty damn funny.

/I'm actually "out in the county", but you probably know well by now the motions of "it's easier just to say you're from Windsor".
 
2012-11-17 01:59:29 AM  

trackerbri: wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.

Never been to Welland, huh?


Hey! I was born there..... it truly is earth's rectum.
 
2012-11-17 04:57:04 PM  

brantgoose: It was a British custom (you can see references to it in Monty Python's Flying Circus) to sing "God Save the King (or Queen)" before performances of plays and later film showings.

This probably ended in most places by the late 60s or early 70s but they even did it in the British equivalent of Vaudeville shows, where it probably led to audience restlessness in less patriotic times.

A patriotic image (such as the famous 1950s image of the Queen on a horse) was probably displayed at the time and the theatre piano player or sound system would provide the music.

I don't recall this being done when I was a child in the 1960s and 70s, so it must have been abandoned to shorten the length of programmes, and was most likely discarded along with the news reel and cartoon(s) as theatres sought greater profits, faster turnaround, and gave up keeping people out of the theatre until a break in the programme.

Going to the theatre, even for a movie, was once an event that evoked a sense of occasion and back when men still wore hats and suits on the street and l ...


My understanding was that this custom was (and maybe still is) fairly common in any country that does not grant it's citizens the right to assemble freely. Singing the anthem, or other patriotic display, before a gathering of any size is a way to indicate to anyone who may be watching that the purpose of the gathering is not to plot against the government. From this perspective I find it odd that Americans always play their anthem before sporting events - but I have heard this was not common practice before the McCarthy-era. Perhaps someone can confirm?

Personally I find all the jingoistic flag waving pointless, but I stand for the anthem anyway because not doing so so can still earn you a beat-down.
 
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