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(The Windsor Star)   Just how friendly is Canada? Stephen Colbert calls Windsor, Ontario the "Earth's Rectum." Windsor responds by inviting him to lead the Christmas Parade this year   (windsorstar.com) divider line 130
    More: Amusing, Christmas Parade, Earth  
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7219 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2012 at 10:21 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-16 11:02:36 AM  

GranoblasticMan: What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums.


24.media.tumblr.comlh3.ggpht.com
 
2012-11-16 11:02:43 AM  

Any Pie Left:
My second impression was how patriotic the people were: we went to the movies and they played a clip of the Maple Leaf Flag and everyone stood and sang their anthem, which sounds very nice, by the way; firm, yet understated, confident and reverent. As a kid, I sat back down and thought, as the film started to play, why don't we do that in our theaters, only at sports events?

Do Canadian theaters still do that? I'd like to think they do, but I expect that's no longer the case today.


HaHa never heard of the theatre thing. But we do drink milk from plastic bags. It doesn't get any more patriotic than that.
 
2012-11-16 11:04:37 AM  
On my criss-crossing trips of Canada, I always enjoyed flying over other parts of Ontario more than Windsor. Even from 35,000 feet in a pressurized cabin, there was a.... smell.
 
2012-11-16 11:06:32 AM  

GranoblasticMan: What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums.


Well, each country has a rectum.

/What's the rectum of Romania, btw?
 
2012-11-16 11:06:35 AM  
Sure this house isn't great, but at $720, your monthly payment will be $1.53

p.rdcpix.com

For anyone who believes government doesn't make all that much difference. Drive down 8-mile...look left, look right.
 
2012-11-16 11:07:03 AM  

starsrift: On my criss-crossing trips of Canada, I always enjoyed flying over other parts of Ontario more than Windsor. Even from 35,000 feet in a pressurized cabin, there was a.... smell.


Actually that was downriver Detroit. Seriously.
 
2012-11-16 11:07:27 AM  

CygnusDarius: GranoblasticMan: What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums.

Well, each country has a rectum.

/What's the rectum of Romania, btw?


I believe the answer is, "Romania".
/ I kid
 
2012-11-16 11:07:34 AM  

Prevailing Wind: You know what? Good on em. Most city officials would have responded in a completely different and far less productive way. Now the city will get the Colbert rump bump and maybe even draw in some extra dollars from additional attendees to their parade.

Well played Mr. Mayor.


I prefer the town that, after being insulted by Dave Barry, named a sewage pumping station after him. (Dave went to the ribbon-cutting and wrote about it in his column, naturally).
 
2012-11-16 11:07:38 AM  

Any Pie Left:
Do Canadian theaters still do that? I'd like to think they do, but I expect that's no longer the case today.


I'm gonna say yes, but only because its such a warm memory you have that I hate to despoil it. I'm going to the movies tonight- I'll see if I can't get the crowd into a rousing version of O' Canada before the show. Just for you.
 
2012-11-16 11:10:33 AM  

rwfan: ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website

How is the Pinery? Still awesome?


Yep. We go every Thanksgiving and May 2-4 weekend. (The former of course being much better on account of no alcohol limit.)
 
2012-11-16 11:12:47 AM  
Saw a lot of fine rectums when the Windsor strip club scene was off the hook during the mid-90s.
 
2012-11-16 11:13:10 AM  
I spent a few weeks in Windsor playing baseball and thought it was a very nice city.
 
2012-11-16 11:15:08 AM  

SevenizGud:

For anyone who believes government doesn't make all that much difference. Drive down 8-mile...look left, look right.


Not familiar with 8-mile. Can you elaborate?
 
2012-11-16 11:15:45 AM  

Decillion: Any Pie Left:
My second impression was how patriotic the people were: we went to the movies and they played a clip of the Maple Leaf Flag and everyone stood and sang their anthem, which sounds very nice, by the way; firm, yet understated, confident and reverent. As a kid, I sat back down and thought, as the film started to play, why don't we do that in our theaters, only at sports events?

Do Canadian theaters still do that? I'd like to think they do, but I expect that's no longer the case today.

HaHa never heard of the theatre thing. But we do drink milk from plastic bags. It doesn't get any more patriotic than that.


I remember the anthem in the movie theatre from my childhood. I am 40 in a month so that tells you how long ago that was.
 
2012-11-16 11:16:49 AM  
Grew up in Windsor so getting a kick

\not that bad of a place
\\weather is nice
\\\great strip bars
\\
 
2012-11-16 11:18:36 AM  
As a resident of El Paso, DO NOT go to Rosa's Cantina. It's worse than a dive and the food is barely considered.

Have I mentioned the floor is peel and stick linoleum on dirt?

/They're proud of being the inspiration for that damned song...
 
2012-11-16 11:20:26 AM  
I always thought that Battle Mountain, Nev. was the "armpit of America."
 
2012-11-16 11:22:32 AM  
Damn near killed him!
 
2012-11-16 11:26:25 AM  

nucular bum: I always thought that Battle Mountain, Nev. was the "armpit of America."


That would be any town named "Fayetteville" - particularly the one in North Carolina, but the Farkers from Arkansas will swear theirs is even worse.
 
2012-11-16 11:28:16 AM  

starsrift: CygnusDarius: GranoblasticMan: What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums.

Well, each country has a rectum.

/What's the rectum of Romania, btw?

I believe the answer is, "Romania".
/ I kid


Is that like New York, NY?
 
2012-11-16 11:40:51 AM  

ds_4815: rwfan: ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website

How is the Pinery? Still awesome?

Yep. We go every Thanksgiving and May 2-4 weekend. (The former of course being much better on account of no alcohol limit.)


I've been in and around all 5 Great Lakes and Huron is hands down the best. While I love the Pinery, the Georgian Bay is incredible. I love how you can follow the Niagara escarpment all the way up the Bruce peninsula and watch it disappear under the water then come up again at Manitoulin. Ever been to Killarney or sailed in the Georgian Bay? The provincial parks in Ontario are the best, IMHO. I have many found memories of Algonquin. I hope I can take my kids backpacking/canoeing in either Killarney or Alqonquin in the next couple of years.
 
2012-11-16 11:41:21 AM  

zialu: trackerbri: wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.

Never been to Welland, huh?

Or Sarnia? Or Hamilton?


Here in Hamilton, we like to say "at least we're not Windsor". It's a small comfort.
 
2012-11-16 11:42:02 AM  
Colbert is wrong

The earth's rectum is Here
 
2012-11-16 11:42:43 AM  

NephilimNexus: What is particularly amusing is that Windsor is well known as being one of the most anti-US cities in Canada... being that on any given Friday night there are more Yanks than Canadians there, they've had plenty of experience with hordes of obnoxious, beer swilling 19 and 20 years old drunkards from across the river.

Places where the economy is based primarily on tourism are always populated by people who hate tourists. Florida is the same way.

Once you get deeper into Canada everyone becomes more stereotypically super-friendly, though.


Pffft... you want to see hoards of loud, drunk 18 year old Americans? Come to Montreal. We're importing French citizens at a break-neck pace to try to off-set the influx.
 
2012-11-16 11:46:00 AM  
I think we've finally learned the English method of world domination. Don't fight, manipulate. Groom your guy, make sure he gets in power, then enjoy pulling one set of strings instead of sending millions to die in war.

/Farking Begin was an English agent in Russia
/Juan Pujol García, a British double agent fed bullshiat to Nazi Germany for years. Probably responsible for preventing the Normandy invasion from being pushed into the sea by maintaining the Pas de Calais/Patton hoax even after the Normandy landings.
 
2012-11-16 11:46:45 AM  
Noticed that comparison when I first read his latest book--wondering when it would hit the media.


/Raised in Windsor
//getting a kick, etc.
 
2012-11-16 11:47:31 AM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: I think we've finally learned the English method of world domination. Don't fight, manipulate. Groom your guy, make sure he gets in power, then enjoy pulling one set of strings instead of sending millions to die in war.

/Farking Begin was an English agent in Russia
/Juan Pujol García, a British double agent fed bullshiat to Nazi Germany for years. Probably responsible for preventing the Normandy invasion from being pushed into the sea by maintaining the Pas de Calais/Patton hoax even after the Normandy landings.


Oops. I think I've blown my cover! Wrong thread.
 
2012-11-16 11:49:02 AM  

Rev.K: Windsor's just mad because they know he's right.


yuppers
 
2012-11-16 11:49:41 AM  

Decillion:
HaHa never heard of the theatre thing. But we do drink milk from plastic bags. It doesn't get any more patriotic than that.


I've never done the theatre thing.

I've also NEVER seen milk in a plastic bag. Maybe it's an Ontario thing because I never saw it in Saskatchewan or Manitoba. I grew up seeing milk in cartons and, eventually, in plastic jugs.
 
2012-11-16 11:51:19 AM  
Jeez...no where in Canada is the Earth's rectum.

I have been all over the world and the one place that everyone agrees is where the enema needs to go is Karachi Pakistan. An alternative would be Bangladesh.

For Africa- Banjul the Gambia
Asia (not subcontinent)- most of China is filthy. Geographically though, the delta between myanmar and thailand fits...i mean the rectum is located close to the pleasure center (bangkok!).
Central America- Tijuana? CJ? don't know. I actually like Central America and everywhere I've been there...including Mexico.
South America- Buenos Aires...just full of arrogant pieces of erectile tissue. dog poop everywhere.
Europe- ideas?
Oceana- Port Moresby. with all the Beetle juice spit it looks like the city is already menstruating. maybe that is where the douche would go.

North America...florida is the schlong that needs a tissue to clean off all the splooge. geographically...san fran fits but its too much of a fun place. oakland? Detroit? Newark? I'm always up for putting down philly. DC with all thepoliticians?

/i've rambled enough.
 
2012-11-16 11:52:43 AM  
Everybody knows St Louis is the rectum of the world. The two things it has given the world are gooey butter cake and toasted ravioli. Not exactly giving us much
 
2012-11-16 11:55:19 AM  

Pud: It has sort of an "Oh yea, why don't you come up here and say that" kind of feel to it


Yeah, real friendly until they have him isolated on Canadian territory. Then the crosscut saws come out.
 
2012-11-16 11:57:08 AM  
I think Colbert must have been referring to Scranton.

media1.policymic.com
 
2012-11-16 11:57:29 AM  

ringersol: GranoblasticMan: "What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums."

Many of which spend their time trolling internet message boards.


Interesting bit of etymology, actually: We proud internet rectums actually come from the phrase "wrecked them," as in, "What did you do to those threads?" "I wrecked them."

/Pulling that out of my ass, so to speak
 
2012-11-16 11:58:21 AM  
They did do that in theatres my Dad told me, but they haven't for a LONG time, probably over 40 years. I still see milk bags, but I've always disliked them, and jugs are becoming more popular it seems. I agree windsor sucks, I don't see the hate on Hamilton though, its always been nice when I've been there.
 
2012-11-16 12:08:40 PM  

oryx: Colbert has never been to Pittsburgh.


Actually, he has. The guy who found the Stephen Colbert Super Fun Pac is a student at the University of Pittsburgh.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/416051/june-28 - 2012/sign-off---colbert-super-pac---super-fun-pack-treasure-box-finder
 
2012-11-16 12:11:59 PM  

VonKraut: They did do that in theatres my Dad told me, but they haven't for a LONG time, probably over 40 years. I still see milk bags, but I've always disliked them, and jugs are becoming more popular it seems. I agree windsor sucks, I don't see the hate on Hamilton though, its always been nice when I've been there.


You just haven't been to the right places. Barton St. is...interesting.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-16 12:15:52 PM  

Cyberluddite: Have you ever been to South Detroit, Canada (aka Windsor, Ontario)? If you have, you would know that Colbert isn't too far off the mark here.


True, Just one bridge off.
 
2012-11-16 12:29:32 PM  
Dhaka, Bangladesh. I saw shyte on a stick there many times. End of thread.
 
2012-11-16 12:29:46 PM  

chuckufarlie: Windsor is NOT the Earth's rectum. It is, however, right across the river from it. Maybe that is where the confusion came from.


So Windsor is the Earth's "taint"?
 
2012-11-16 12:31:58 PM  

dywed88: Cyberluddite: Have you ever been to South Detroit, Canada (aka Windsor, Ontario)? If you have, you would know that Colbert isn't too far off the mark here.

True, Just one bridge off.


Pretty much, yeah.

Windsor kinda sucks by Canadian city standards, but compared to many of our shiattiest American cities--certainly including but certainly not limited to the one across the river--it's not bad at all.

I was born in Detroit but we moved out west when I was a baby, but I spent many, many summer trips and holidays there visiting family. And going across the river to Windsor was actually a highlight of those trips.
 
2012-11-16 12:35:55 PM  
Went to a kareoke bar there once....

It was better than Detroit, that's for sure
 
2012-11-16 12:39:52 PM  

Tanukis_Parachute: Oceana- Port Moresby. with all the Beetle juice spit it looks like the city is already menstruating. maybe that is where the douche would go.


I haven't been since the early 90s but I remember very well the beetle juice spit everywhere. And the teeth. Ugh!
 
2012-11-16 12:54:38 PM  

Cyberluddite: dywed88: Cyberluddite: Have you ever been to South Detroit, Canada (aka Windsor, Ontario)? If you have, you would know that Colbert isn't too far off the mark here.

True, Just one bridge off.

Pretty much, yeah.

Windsor kinda sucks by Canadian city standards, but compared to many of our shiattiest American cities--certainly including but certainly not limited to the one across the river--it's not bad at all.

I was born in Detroit but we moved out west when I was a baby, but I spent many, many summer trips and holidays there visiting family. And going across the river to Windsor was actually a highlight of those trips.


THIS. Gambling (in the day before Detroit had casinos), Cuban cigars and the "Canadian Ballet". Plus I'd go over the border just to get those McDonalds hockey card sets.

Windsor may be Canada's rectum, but the entire U.S. is Earths' rectum. All you need to do is to go to any major city in Canada and you'll see just how f(cking backwards and outdated the U.S. really is.

And don't give me the "S-word". The U.S. is at least as much or more Socialist than Canada. Of course, OUR government wants to demand the same thin of it's citizens as Canada, but without the "rights" Canada supplies its people (e.g. complete and quality healthcare).

The only things you can count on from the U.S. federal government are enormous f(ckups and total mismanagement.
 
2012-11-16 12:57:23 PM  

WI241TH: He just said that because it's across the river from Detroit, which Colbert loves ripping on.


I suspect you are right. I thought the same thing when I first heard of the jab. Of course, even a pseudo-conservative can't get away with saying that kind of thing about Detroit because it is full of artist colonies taking advantage of low, low, rents and lots of abandoned properties to occupy (possibly even claim under the Homesteaders Act).

It makes sense for Colbert to mock Canadians as part of his schtick. This is not the first time that a Canadian town has engaged him in polite bad-mouthing or rivalry and it probably won't be the last.

And, of course, if Colbert does join the parade, Windsor can mock Detroit itself: "Ha! ha! We got Steve Colbert and you didn't!"

I would expect Steve Colbert to go to Detroit any way, though, because he was in the neighbourhood and can get more bang for his location-shooting buck by combining pleasure in Windsor with business in Detoit or vice versa. Windsor is to Detroit what Gatineau (formerly Hull, Quebec) is to Ottawa: the place over the river where the bars are cheaper and stay open later.
 
2012-11-16 01:10:49 PM  

wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.


WARNING: LEWDNESS AND NOT SAFE FOR WORK LANGUAGE

It's awfully close to America's rectum, isn't it? I Thought Windsor was the hole in the tip of Canada's penis.

I don't know what gay shiat you're getting into down there, Windsor and Detroit, but knock it off!

Hasn't Detroit been screwed enough for one century any way? Give Mo Town a break. Think of all the music they gave us! And think of the jobs that will otherwise go to Alabama or some useless Southern state if they don't go to Ontario-Quebec, which have the skills and education to do them right.

There's a war on between Detroit and its Northern American-car building colonies, and the South, which is occupied by the Japanese and a few Korean or Euro-car makers. Our side must win, or else you might as well just call off the Second American Revolution and surrender to the Whang-doodles and Kleptocrats of the GOP.

Detroit may be a rectum, but dammit, it's one of our rectums! Go screw America's other hole, New Orleans. Not that I have any animus against New Orleans, you understand. Lots of distant, ninth and tenth cousins in New Orleans, not to mention lots of poor black people who don't really deserve to live in New Orleans but can't afford to get out, not to mention their tight community, culture, and family ties to the Delta and Lake New Orleans itself.

All in all, Colbert is such a likeable schmuck he can get away with talking like a Republican because nobody feels he means a word he says, no matter how insulting. Well, nobody who matters.
 
2012-11-16 01:22:31 PM  
Well, Canada has some very welcoming rectums. . .
 
2012-11-16 01:27:02 PM  

trackerbri: wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.

Never been to Welland, huh?


Ahahaha! That's where I grew up.

And yes. Sigh. You are correct.
 
2012-11-16 01:27:50 PM  
Leave my shiathole town alone........for the lulz
 
2012-11-16 01:37:15 PM  
So, it makes sense for an a-hole to join up with a parade in a rectum?
 
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