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(The Windsor Star)   Just how friendly is Canada? Stephen Colbert calls Windsor, Ontario the "Earth's Rectum." Windsor responds by inviting him to lead the Christmas Parade this year   (windsorstar.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Christmas Parade, Earth  
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7224 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2012 at 10:21 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Pud
2012-11-16 09:02:16 AM  
It has sort of an "Oh yea, why don't you come up here and say that" kind of feel to it
 
2012-11-16 09:09:13 AM  
He just said that because it's across the river from Detroit, which Colbert loves ripping on.
 
2012-11-16 09:18:25 AM  
Have some self-respect, Canada. Geez.
 
2012-11-16 09:36:41 AM  
Windsor's just mad because they know he's right.
 
2012-11-16 09:36:45 AM  
Everyone knows its Houston anyway.
 
2012-11-16 10:00:41 AM  
It's certainly Canada's rectum.
 
2012-11-16 10:14:24 AM  
Slow news day.
 
2012-11-16 10:23:07 AM  
Rectum? He didn't even know 'em!
 
2012-11-16 10:24:23 AM  
Colbert has never been to Pittsburgh.
 
2012-11-16 10:25:25 AM  
That was a funny bit on the show.
 
2012-11-16 10:25:54 AM  
Mr. Colbert did not claim Windsor, Ontario, to be "Earth's Rectum". Mr. Colbert asked, by way of a question within a footnote, whether Windsor, Ontario is "Earth's Rectum". Mr. Colbert was not making a declaration; he was only asking a question.
 
2012-11-16 10:26:07 AM  
Wait till he "accidently" gets run over by a reindeer during the parade.
 
2012-11-16 10:26:33 AM  

Pud: It has sort of an "Oh yea, why don't you come up here and say that" kind of feel to it


Really? Because according to the article it seems more like the guy finds Colbert hilarious.
 
2012-11-16 10:26:50 AM  
And,Detroit is the turd that came out of it.
 
2012-11-16 10:27:52 AM  
No no no. The Earth's Rectum is El Paso.

I spent a very long week there one night. Never again.
 
2012-11-16 10:28:17 AM  
Windsor is NOT the Earth's rectum. It is, however, right across the river from it. Maybe that is where the confusion came from.
 
2012-11-16 10:28:50 AM  
Have you ever been to South Detroit, Canada (aka Windsor, Ontario)? If you have, you would know that Colbert isn't too far off the mark here.
 
2012-11-16 10:29:05 AM  
Seeing as Windsor is right across the river from Detroit he may have been confused where he was at.
 
2012-11-16 10:30:12 AM  
Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website
 
2012-11-16 10:30:40 AM  
Ackbar.jpg
 
2012-11-16 10:33:08 AM  
"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" -- Abraham Lincoln
 
2012-11-16 10:33:14 AM  
What is particularly amusing is that Windsor is well known as being one of the most anti-US cities in Canada... being that on any given Friday night there are more Yanks than Canadians there, they've had plenty of experience with hordes of obnoxious, beer swilling 19 and 20 years old drunkards from across the river.

Places where the economy is based primarily on tourism are always populated by people who hate tourists. Florida is the same way.

Once you get deeper into Canada everyone becomes more stereotypically super-friendly, though.
 
2012-11-16 10:33:38 AM  
www.likecool.com
 
2012-11-16 10:33:44 AM  

dcigary: No no no. The Earth's Rectum is El Paso.

I spent a very long week there one night. Never again.


There's been quite an infusion of capital and economic activity and it's actually improved quite a bit over the last decade or so. It's now probably only about half as much of a shiathole as it used to be.
 
2012-11-16 10:40:06 AM  
I always thought Nashville, TN was the earth's rectum. You mean there's worse places?
 
2012-11-16 10:41:10 AM  

WhippingBoy: I always thought Nashville, TN was the earth's rectum. You mean there's worse places?


Perth Amboy, NJ
 
2012-11-16 10:42:58 AM  
The last time I visited Windsor, it was exactly like a little Detroit. Canada should definitely know better.
 
2012-11-16 10:45:42 AM  
I thought it was understood that ciidad juarez was earths rectum
 
2012-11-16 10:45:54 AM  

wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.


Never been to Welland, huh?
 
2012-11-16 10:45:58 AM  
Clearly Colbert has never been to Edmonton.
 
2012-11-16 10:46:28 AM  

dcigary: No no no. The Earth's Rectum is El Paso.

I spent a very long week there one night. Never again.


Did you go to Rose's Cantina, fall in love with a Mexican girl, shoot a cowboy, steal a horse, and flee to the badlands of New Mexico?

You'll be back. You miss her. Admit it.
 
2012-11-16 10:46:58 AM  
You know what? Good on em. Most city officials would have responded in a completely different and far less productive way. Now the city will get the Colbert rump bump and maybe even draw in some extra dollars from additional attendees to their parade.

Well played Mr. Mayor.
 
2012-11-16 10:47:46 AM  
Topeka looks at your proposals of what is the Earth's rectum and laughs.

/right before pinching off a fresh loaf in the form of a WBC protest
 
2012-11-16 10:50:31 AM  
Well, I went to undergrad at the University of Windsor and really enjoyed the school and city. Hell, I even had fun hopping across the river to go to the DIA, Cobo Hall, St Andrew's Hall, King Bookstore. Watching Detroit flare up on Hallowe'en from the safety of Windsor was always fun, too.
 
2012-11-16 10:51:20 AM  

Resolute: Clearly Colbert has never been to Edmonton.


I would have gone with Winnipeg, but we'll accept Edmonton.
 
2012-11-16 10:51:37 AM  
So Windsor is the home of goatse?
 
2012-11-16 10:52:21 AM  

cgraves67: dcigary: No no no. The Earth's Rectum is El Paso.

I spent a very long week there one night. Never again.

Did you go to Rose's Cantina, fall in love with a Mexican girl, shoot a cowboy, steal a horse, and flee to the badlands of New Mexico?

You'll be back. You miss her. Admit it.


Just wear some kevlar when you go back to her
 
2012-11-16 10:52:35 AM  
Muncie Indiana, however, is the earth's armpit.
 
2012-11-16 10:53:31 AM  

trackerbri: wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.

Never been to Welland, huh?


Or Sarnia? Or Hamilton?
 
2012-11-16 10:53:35 AM  

wambu: So Windsor is the home of goatse?


Oh no.. that which must never be mentioned..

amog.com
 
2012-11-16 10:53:39 AM  

NephilimNexus: Places where the economy is based primarily on tourism are always populated by people who hate tourists. Florida is the same way.


I can vouch for this.
 
2012-11-16 10:54:49 AM  
What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums.
 
2012-11-16 10:56:51 AM  
As an American, I have to say I've always liked Canada and Canadians, even when they beat the Black Hawks at hockey. As a kid, my folks drove us to visit a distant relative in Windsor. My everlasting impressions of WIndsor from that time were: BOY, this place is kept spotlessly clean - not a speck of trash on any road or sidewalk, everything looks swept and dusted and tidy, compared to Chicago, and everyone is SO DAMNed Polite.

My second impression was how patriotic the people were: we went to the movies and they played a clip of the Maple Leaf Flag and everyone stood and sang their anthem, which sounds very nice, by the way; firm, yet understated, confident and reverent. As a kid, I sat back down and thought, as the film started to play, why don't we do that in our theaters, only at sports events?

Do Canadian theaters still do that? I'd like to think they do, but I expect that's no longer the case today.
 
2012-11-16 10:58:21 AM  

trackerbri: wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.

Never been to Welland, huh?


I don't know, I've been to Welland and Windsor and I would choose Sault Ste. Marie as Canada's butt hole.

/Canada's awesome, just not all the big cities.
 
2012-11-16 10:58:24 AM  
GranoblasticMan: "What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums."

Many of which spend their time trolling internet message boards.
 
2012-11-16 10:58:27 AM  

indarwinsshadow: Resolute: Clearly Colbert has never been to Edmonton.

I would have gone with Winnipeg, but we'll accept Edmonton.


You guys are spelling "Nisku" wrong.
 
2012-11-16 10:58:46 AM  
www.brucellama.com

Meanwhile, on the road to Windsor...
 
2012-11-16 11:00:27 AM  

ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website


How is the Pinery? Still awesome?
 
2012-11-16 11:00:30 AM  
d23

Muncie Indiana, however, is the earth's armpit

I might say Americas armpit, there are places abroad that make Muncie look like Laguna Beach.
 
2012-11-16 11:01:08 AM  
What, no hate for Staten Island?

/pre-storm Staten Island
//post-storm, it's more like a case of the runs.
 
2012-11-16 11:02:36 AM  

GranoblasticMan: What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums.


24.media.tumblr.comlh3.ggpht.com
 
2012-11-16 11:02:43 AM  

Any Pie Left:
My second impression was how patriotic the people were: we went to the movies and they played a clip of the Maple Leaf Flag and everyone stood and sang their anthem, which sounds very nice, by the way; firm, yet understated, confident and reverent. As a kid, I sat back down and thought, as the film started to play, why don't we do that in our theaters, only at sports events?

Do Canadian theaters still do that? I'd like to think they do, but I expect that's no longer the case today.


HaHa never heard of the theatre thing. But we do drink milk from plastic bags. It doesn't get any more patriotic than that.
 
2012-11-16 11:04:37 AM  
On my criss-crossing trips of Canada, I always enjoyed flying over other parts of Ontario more than Windsor. Even from 35,000 feet in a pressurized cabin, there was a.... smell.
 
2012-11-16 11:06:32 AM  

GranoblasticMan: What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums.


Well, each country has a rectum.

/What's the rectum of Romania, btw?
 
2012-11-16 11:06:35 AM  
Sure this house isn't great, but at $720, your monthly payment will be $1.53

p.rdcpix.com

For anyone who believes government doesn't make all that much difference. Drive down 8-mile...look left, look right.
 
2012-11-16 11:07:03 AM  

starsrift: On my criss-crossing trips of Canada, I always enjoyed flying over other parts of Ontario more than Windsor. Even from 35,000 feet in a pressurized cabin, there was a.... smell.


Actually that was downriver Detroit. Seriously.
 
2012-11-16 11:07:27 AM  

CygnusDarius: GranoblasticMan: What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums.

Well, each country has a rectum.

/What's the rectum of Romania, btw?


I believe the answer is, "Romania".
/ I kid
 
2012-11-16 11:07:34 AM  

Prevailing Wind: You know what? Good on em. Most city officials would have responded in a completely different and far less productive way. Now the city will get the Colbert rump bump and maybe even draw in some extra dollars from additional attendees to their parade.

Well played Mr. Mayor.


I prefer the town that, after being insulted by Dave Barry, named a sewage pumping station after him. (Dave went to the ribbon-cutting and wrote about it in his column, naturally).
 
2012-11-16 11:07:38 AM  

Any Pie Left:
Do Canadian theaters still do that? I'd like to think they do, but I expect that's no longer the case today.


I'm gonna say yes, but only because its such a warm memory you have that I hate to despoil it. I'm going to the movies tonight- I'll see if I can't get the crowd into a rousing version of O' Canada before the show. Just for you.
 
2012-11-16 11:10:33 AM  

rwfan: ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website

How is the Pinery? Still awesome?


Yep. We go every Thanksgiving and May 2-4 weekend. (The former of course being much better on account of no alcohol limit.)
 
2012-11-16 11:12:47 AM  
Saw a lot of fine rectums when the Windsor strip club scene was off the hook during the mid-90s.
 
2012-11-16 11:13:10 AM  
I spent a few weeks in Windsor playing baseball and thought it was a very nice city.
 
2012-11-16 11:15:08 AM  

SevenizGud:

For anyone who believes government doesn't make all that much difference. Drive down 8-mile...look left, look right.


Not familiar with 8-mile. Can you elaborate?
 
2012-11-16 11:15:45 AM  

Decillion: Any Pie Left:
My second impression was how patriotic the people were: we went to the movies and they played a clip of the Maple Leaf Flag and everyone stood and sang their anthem, which sounds very nice, by the way; firm, yet understated, confident and reverent. As a kid, I sat back down and thought, as the film started to play, why don't we do that in our theaters, only at sports events?

Do Canadian theaters still do that? I'd like to think they do, but I expect that's no longer the case today.

HaHa never heard of the theatre thing. But we do drink milk from plastic bags. It doesn't get any more patriotic than that.


I remember the anthem in the movie theatre from my childhood. I am 40 in a month so that tells you how long ago that was.
 
2012-11-16 11:16:49 AM  
Grew up in Windsor so getting a kick

\not that bad of a place
\\weather is nice
\\\great strip bars
\\
 
2012-11-16 11:18:36 AM  
As a resident of El Paso, DO NOT go to Rosa's Cantina. It's worse than a dive and the food is barely considered.

Have I mentioned the floor is peel and stick linoleum on dirt?

/They're proud of being the inspiration for that damned song...
 
2012-11-16 11:20:26 AM  
I always thought that Battle Mountain, Nev. was the "armpit of America."
 
2012-11-16 11:22:32 AM  
Damn near killed him!
 
2012-11-16 11:26:25 AM  

nucular bum: I always thought that Battle Mountain, Nev. was the "armpit of America."


That would be any town named "Fayetteville" - particularly the one in North Carolina, but the Farkers from Arkansas will swear theirs is even worse.
 
2012-11-16 11:28:16 AM  

starsrift: CygnusDarius: GranoblasticMan: What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums.

Well, each country has a rectum.

/What's the rectum of Romania, btw?

I believe the answer is, "Romania".
/ I kid


Is that like New York, NY?
 
2012-11-16 11:40:51 AM  

ds_4815: rwfan: ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website

How is the Pinery? Still awesome?

Yep. We go every Thanksgiving and May 2-4 weekend. (The former of course being much better on account of no alcohol limit.)


I've been in and around all 5 Great Lakes and Huron is hands down the best. While I love the Pinery, the Georgian Bay is incredible. I love how you can follow the Niagara escarpment all the way up the Bruce peninsula and watch it disappear under the water then come up again at Manitoulin. Ever been to Killarney or sailed in the Georgian Bay? The provincial parks in Ontario are the best, IMHO. I have many found memories of Algonquin. I hope I can take my kids backpacking/canoeing in either Killarney or Alqonquin in the next couple of years.
 
2012-11-16 11:41:21 AM  

zialu: trackerbri: wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.

Never been to Welland, huh?

Or Sarnia? Or Hamilton?


Here in Hamilton, we like to say "at least we're not Windsor". It's a small comfort.
 
2012-11-16 11:42:02 AM  
Colbert is wrong

The earth's rectum is Here
 
2012-11-16 11:42:43 AM  

NephilimNexus: What is particularly amusing is that Windsor is well known as being one of the most anti-US cities in Canada... being that on any given Friday night there are more Yanks than Canadians there, they've had plenty of experience with hordes of obnoxious, beer swilling 19 and 20 years old drunkards from across the river.

Places where the economy is based primarily on tourism are always populated by people who hate tourists. Florida is the same way.

Once you get deeper into Canada everyone becomes more stereotypically super-friendly, though.


Pffft... you want to see hoards of loud, drunk 18 year old Americans? Come to Montreal. We're importing French citizens at a break-neck pace to try to off-set the influx.
 
2012-11-16 11:46:00 AM  
I think we've finally learned the English method of world domination. Don't fight, manipulate. Groom your guy, make sure he gets in power, then enjoy pulling one set of strings instead of sending millions to die in war.

/Farking Begin was an English agent in Russia
/Juan Pujol García, a British double agent fed bullshiat to Nazi Germany for years. Probably responsible for preventing the Normandy invasion from being pushed into the sea by maintaining the Pas de Calais/Patton hoax even after the Normandy landings.
 
2012-11-16 11:46:45 AM  
Noticed that comparison when I first read his latest book--wondering when it would hit the media.


/Raised in Windsor
//getting a kick, etc.
 
2012-11-16 11:47:31 AM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: I think we've finally learned the English method of world domination. Don't fight, manipulate. Groom your guy, make sure he gets in power, then enjoy pulling one set of strings instead of sending millions to die in war.

/Farking Begin was an English agent in Russia
/Juan Pujol García, a British double agent fed bullshiat to Nazi Germany for years. Probably responsible for preventing the Normandy invasion from being pushed into the sea by maintaining the Pas de Calais/Patton hoax even after the Normandy landings.


Oops. I think I've blown my cover! Wrong thread.
 
2012-11-16 11:49:02 AM  

Rev.K: Windsor's just mad because they know he's right.


yuppers
 
2012-11-16 11:49:41 AM  

Decillion:
HaHa never heard of the theatre thing. But we do drink milk from plastic bags. It doesn't get any more patriotic than that.


I've never done the theatre thing.

I've also NEVER seen milk in a plastic bag. Maybe it's an Ontario thing because I never saw it in Saskatchewan or Manitoba. I grew up seeing milk in cartons and, eventually, in plastic jugs.
 
2012-11-16 11:51:19 AM  
Jeez...no where in Canada is the Earth's rectum.

I have been all over the world and the one place that everyone agrees is where the enema needs to go is Karachi Pakistan. An alternative would be Bangladesh.

For Africa- Banjul the Gambia
Asia (not subcontinent)- most of China is filthy. Geographically though, the delta between myanmar and thailand fits...i mean the rectum is located close to the pleasure center (bangkok!).
Central America- Tijuana? CJ? don't know. I actually like Central America and everywhere I've been there...including Mexico.
South America- Buenos Aires...just full of arrogant pieces of erectile tissue. dog poop everywhere.
Europe- ideas?
Oceana- Port Moresby. with all the Beetle juice spit it looks like the city is already menstruating. maybe that is where the douche would go.

North America...florida is the schlong that needs a tissue to clean off all the splooge. geographically...san fran fits but its too much of a fun place. oakland? Detroit? Newark? I'm always up for putting down philly. DC with all thepoliticians?

/i've rambled enough.
 
2012-11-16 11:52:43 AM  
Everybody knows St Louis is the rectum of the world. The two things it has given the world are gooey butter cake and toasted ravioli. Not exactly giving us much
 
2012-11-16 11:55:19 AM  

Pud: It has sort of an "Oh yea, why don't you come up here and say that" kind of feel to it


Yeah, real friendly until they have him isolated on Canadian territory. Then the crosscut saws come out.
 
2012-11-16 11:57:08 AM  
I think Colbert must have been referring to Scranton.

media1.policymic.com
 
2012-11-16 11:57:29 AM  

ringersol: GranoblasticMan: "What I'm learning in this thread is that the earth clearly has many rectums."

Many of which spend their time trolling internet message boards.


Interesting bit of etymology, actually: We proud internet rectums actually come from the phrase "wrecked them," as in, "What did you do to those threads?" "I wrecked them."

/Pulling that out of my ass, so to speak
 
2012-11-16 11:58:21 AM  
They did do that in theatres my Dad told me, but they haven't for a LONG time, probably over 40 years. I still see milk bags, but I've always disliked them, and jugs are becoming more popular it seems. I agree windsor sucks, I don't see the hate on Hamilton though, its always been nice when I've been there.
 
2012-11-16 12:08:40 PM  

oryx: Colbert has never been to Pittsburgh.


Actually, he has. The guy who found the Stephen Colbert Super Fun Pac is a student at the University of Pittsburgh.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/416051/june-28 - 2012/sign-off---colbert-super-pac---super-fun-pack-treasure-box-finder
 
2012-11-16 12:11:59 PM  

VonKraut: They did do that in theatres my Dad told me, but they haven't for a LONG time, probably over 40 years. I still see milk bags, but I've always disliked them, and jugs are becoming more popular it seems. I agree windsor sucks, I don't see the hate on Hamilton though, its always been nice when I've been there.


You just haven't been to the right places. Barton St. is...interesting.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-16 12:15:52 PM  

Cyberluddite: Have you ever been to South Detroit, Canada (aka Windsor, Ontario)? If you have, you would know that Colbert isn't too far off the mark here.


True, Just one bridge off.
 
2012-11-16 12:29:32 PM  
Dhaka, Bangladesh. I saw shyte on a stick there many times. End of thread.
 
2012-11-16 12:29:46 PM  

chuckufarlie: Windsor is NOT the Earth's rectum. It is, however, right across the river from it. Maybe that is where the confusion came from.


So Windsor is the Earth's "taint"?
 
2012-11-16 12:31:58 PM  

dywed88: Cyberluddite: Have you ever been to South Detroit, Canada (aka Windsor, Ontario)? If you have, you would know that Colbert isn't too far off the mark here.

True, Just one bridge off.


Pretty much, yeah.

Windsor kinda sucks by Canadian city standards, but compared to many of our shiattiest American cities--certainly including but certainly not limited to the one across the river--it's not bad at all.

I was born in Detroit but we moved out west when I was a baby, but I spent many, many summer trips and holidays there visiting family. And going across the river to Windsor was actually a highlight of those trips.
 
2012-11-16 12:35:55 PM  
Went to a kareoke bar there once....

It was better than Detroit, that's for sure
 
2012-11-16 12:39:52 PM  

Tanukis_Parachute: Oceana- Port Moresby. with all the Beetle juice spit it looks like the city is already menstruating. maybe that is where the douche would go.


I haven't been since the early 90s but I remember very well the beetle juice spit everywhere. And the teeth. Ugh!
 
2012-11-16 12:54:38 PM  

Cyberluddite: dywed88: Cyberluddite: Have you ever been to South Detroit, Canada (aka Windsor, Ontario)? If you have, you would know that Colbert isn't too far off the mark here.

True, Just one bridge off.

Pretty much, yeah.

Windsor kinda sucks by Canadian city standards, but compared to many of our shiattiest American cities--certainly including but certainly not limited to the one across the river--it's not bad at all.

I was born in Detroit but we moved out west when I was a baby, but I spent many, many summer trips and holidays there visiting family. And going across the river to Windsor was actually a highlight of those trips.


THIS. Gambling (in the day before Detroit had casinos), Cuban cigars and the "Canadian Ballet". Plus I'd go over the border just to get those McDonalds hockey card sets.

Windsor may be Canada's rectum, but the entire U.S. is Earths' rectum. All you need to do is to go to any major city in Canada and you'll see just how farking backwards and outdated the U.S. really is.

And don't give me the "S-word". The U.S. is at least as much or more Socialist than Canada. Of course, OUR government wants to demand the same thin of it's citizens as Canada, but without the "rights" Canada supplies its people (e.g. complete and quality healthcare).

The only things you can count on from the U.S. federal government are enormous farkups and total mismanagement.
 
2012-11-16 12:57:23 PM  

WI241TH: He just said that because it's across the river from Detroit, which Colbert loves ripping on.


I suspect you are right. I thought the same thing when I first heard of the jab. Of course, even a pseudo-conservative can't get away with saying that kind of thing about Detroit because it is full of artist colonies taking advantage of low, low, rents and lots of abandoned properties to occupy (possibly even claim under the Homesteaders Act).

It makes sense for Colbert to mock Canadians as part of his schtick. This is not the first time that a Canadian town has engaged him in polite bad-mouthing or rivalry and it probably won't be the last.

And, of course, if Colbert does join the parade, Windsor can mock Detroit itself: "Ha! ha! We got Steve Colbert and you didn't!"

I would expect Steve Colbert to go to Detroit any way, though, because he was in the neighbourhood and can get more bang for his location-shooting buck by combining pleasure in Windsor with business in Detoit or vice versa. Windsor is to Detroit what Gatineau (formerly Hull, Quebec) is to Ottawa: the place over the river where the bars are cheaper and stay open later.
 
2012-11-16 01:10:49 PM  

wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.


WARNING: LEWDNESS AND NOT SAFE FOR WORK LANGUAGE

It's awfully close to America's rectum, isn't it? I Thought Windsor was the hole in the tip of Canada's penis.

I don't know what gay shiat you're getting into down there, Windsor and Detroit, but knock it off!

Hasn't Detroit been screwed enough for one century any way? Give Mo Town a break. Think of all the music they gave us! And think of the jobs that will otherwise go to Alabama or some useless Southern state if they don't go to Ontario-Quebec, which have the skills and education to do them right.

There's a war on between Detroit and its Northern American-car building colonies, and the South, which is occupied by the Japanese and a few Korean or Euro-car makers. Our side must win, or else you might as well just call off the Second American Revolution and surrender to the Whang-doodles and Kleptocrats of the GOP.

Detroit may be a rectum, but dammit, it's one of our rectums! Go screw America's other hole, New Orleans. Not that I have any animus against New Orleans, you understand. Lots of distant, ninth and tenth cousins in New Orleans, not to mention lots of poor black people who don't really deserve to live in New Orleans but can't afford to get out, not to mention their tight community, culture, and family ties to the Delta and Lake New Orleans itself.

All in all, Colbert is such a likeable schmuck he can get away with talking like a Republican because nobody feels he means a word he says, no matter how insulting. Well, nobody who matters.
 
2012-11-16 01:22:31 PM  
Well, Canada has some very welcoming rectums. . .
 
2012-11-16 01:27:02 PM  

trackerbri: wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.

Never been to Welland, huh?


Ahahaha! That's where I grew up.

And yes. Sigh. You are correct.
 
2012-11-16 01:27:50 PM  
Leave my shiathole town alone........for the lulz
 
2012-11-16 01:37:15 PM  
So, it makes sense for an a-hole to join up with a parade in a rectum?
 
2012-11-16 01:45:37 PM  

rwfan: ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website

How is the Pinery? Still awesome?


no the pinery has been run down a bit by kids wanting to drink on holiday weekends
 
2012-11-16 02:03:30 PM  
I guess it all depends on whether your idea of the world's rectum looks like this

photos1.blogger.com
Markham, ON

or like this...

3.bp.blogspot.com
Windsor, ON

Either way, Ontario has it all!
 
2012-11-16 02:34:31 PM  

Boris S. Wort: I guess it all depends on whether your idea of the world's rectum looks like this

[photos1.blogger.com image 500x373]
Markham, ON

or like this...

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON

Either way, Ontario has it all!


Meh, check out Sault Ste. Marie, ON if you want industrial wasteland.
 
2012-11-16 02:36:59 PM  
born and raised in windsor and I quite like it. has everything you need in a medium sized city. Sports and shows right across the river. plus the economy is picking up.
 
2012-11-16 02:39:50 PM  

rwfan: Boris S. Wort: I guess it all depends on whether your idea of the world's rectum looks like this

[photos1.blogger.com image 500x373]
Markham, ON

or like this...

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON

Either way, Ontario has it all!

Meh, check out Sault Ste. Marie, ON if you want industrial wasteland.


Oh and if Windsor is the rectum and Detroit is the turd, Zug Island across the river is a special little turdlette.
 
2012-11-16 02:40:52 PM  
Meh. It's a bit of a shiathole but I can think of a lot of worse places.

/Canadian
 
2012-11-16 02:45:49 PM  
Lived in Kingsville and loved it. Moved to Windsor and hated it. Now I'm back in the States. Michigan is somewhere in between the two.

/6th grade teacher was an unabashed 'Yank Hater'
//His favorite person was Sir John A McDonald
///His least favorite person was me, cause I was a 'Yank'
 
2012-11-16 02:51:14 PM  

rwfan: Ever been to Killarney or sailed in the Georgian Bay? The provincial parks in Ontario are the best, IMHO. I have many found memories of Algonquin. I hope I can take my kids backpacking/canoeing in either Killarney or Alqonquin in the next couple of years.


Can't say as I've done Killarney or the Georgian Bay area, but Algonquin's always held great memories for me; caught about 70 fish in 90 minutes in the Madawaska as a kid. Haven't been in 6 years, though, should probably correct that this summer.

Boris S. Wort: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON


Er... pretty sure that's actually Zug Island in Detroit. The Canadian side is the little sliver on the right with about 90% of the entire green part of this photo.

/Not that we don't live downwind from all the pollution, of course
//Hooray, dying 3 years earlier on average
 
2012-11-16 03:01:11 PM  

ds_4815: Boris S. Wort: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON

Er... pretty sure that's actually Zug Island in Detroit. The Canadian side is the little sliver on the right with about 90% of the entire green part of this photo.


LOL, you're right!
 
2012-11-16 03:16:18 PM  
Yeah, Zug Island is the source of a lot of the "bad smell" you get in Windsor.

/grew up too in Windsor, 8-13 yrs old
//Villages of Riverside ftl
//Riverside High School alumni
 
2012-11-16 03:30:29 PM  

Boris S. Wort: I guess it all depends on whether your idea of the world's rectum looks like this

[photos1.blogger.com image 500x373]
Markham, ON

or like this...

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x297]
Windsor, ON

Either way, Ontario has it all!


Did you notice that big international border on the right hand side your picture? That is not a picture of Windsor (except maybe that tiny sliver in the corner). And I would be shocked if you can't find similar subdivisions in Windsor suburbs as your one from Markham.
 
2012-11-16 03:40:05 PM  

roughridersfan: Decillion:

I've also NEVER seen milk in a plastic bag. Maybe it's an Ontario thing because I never saw it in Saskatchewan or Manitoba. I grew up seeing milk in cartons and, eventually, in plastic jugs.


Yeppers, it's an Eastern thing. We had milk-bags when I was a kid in Ontario, but then when we moved one province over to Manitoba it was cartons only.

This is awesome:

"We warmly welcome Mr. Colbert to lead the parade and go where no man has gone before."

heh.
 
2012-11-16 03:45:11 PM  

gund goat: born and raised in windsor and I quite like it. has everything you need in a medium sized city. Sports and shows right across the river. plus the economy is picking up.


When I was living in Detroit (late 70s) a typical Saturday was to go over the Ambassador Bridge into Windsor and spend the afternoon shopping, bar hopping, dinner, etc. I even had a "local" - a place called the Red Lion on Sandwich Street. Wonder if it's still there?

Anyway, I thought Windsor was a damned nice place to hang out. Even thought about moving over there but the writing was already on the wall about Detroit. Too bad . . .
 
2012-11-16 03:49:36 PM  

gopher321: Yeah, Zug Island is the source of a lot of the "bad smell" you get in Windsor.

/grew up too in Windsor, 8-13 yrs old
//Villages of Riverside ftl
//Riverside High School alumni


In the up left hand corner of the "Windsor" picture, which is really Zug Island, you can see part the Detroit's massive waste water treatment plant. That's directly upwind of Windsor. There is where your Eau de Rectum smell is coming from.
 
2012-11-16 04:01:47 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: I even had a "local" - a place called the Red Lion on Sandwich Street. Wonder if it's still there?


Rings a bell. Do you remember roughly where it would've been in the city?
 
2012-11-16 04:08:15 PM  

ds_4815: OldManDownDRoad: I even had a "local" - a place called the Red Lion on Sandwich Street. Wonder if it's still there?

Rings a bell. Do you remember roughly where it would've been in the city?


Heh - yeah, you could see the city jail (a block or so away) from the front door of the pub. Not exactly a pinpoint locator, but that was always a subject of discussion.

Actually, I found the Windsor cops to be a lot easier to deal with than the Detroit guys. And the guards on the American side of the bridge were always dicks for some reason. I mean, why risk smuggling weed to the US when all you had to do was go to Belle Isle and ask one of the friendly local dealers hanging out? I think they just liked making us all get out of the car and stand around.
 
2012-11-16 04:10:42 PM  

Reverend Monkeypants: It was better than Detroit, that's for sure


methinks you damn it with faint praise.
 
2012-11-16 04:15:42 PM  

Decillion: HaHa never heard of the theatre thing. But we do drink milk from plastic bags. It doesn't get any more patriotic than that.


I haven't done this myself. Although the poor kids across the street have.

What century do you live in?
 
2012-11-16 04:19:21 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: Heh - yeah, you could see the city jail (a block or so away) from the front door of the pub. Not exactly a pinpoint locator, but that was always a subject of discussion.


I'm almost never down that way (and no, the occasions I am do NOT involve the jail), but a quick Google Street View perusal yields nothing. Plenty of newer pubs in older buildings in that area of town, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if it still operates under a different name.
 
2012-11-16 04:23:57 PM  

ds_4815: OldManDownDRoad: Heh - yeah, you could see the city jail (a block or so away) from the front door of the pub. Not exactly a pinpoint locator, but that was always a subject of discussion.

I'm almost never down that way (and no, the occasions I am do NOT involve the jail), but a quick Google Street View perusal yields nothing. Plenty of newer pubs in older buildings in that area of town, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if it still operates under a different name.


Yeah, wouldn't be surprised. Nice neighborhood, some offices (doctors, dentists, and such) and small shops. That was the area I was thinking of buying in, but decided to head back South after it became apparent that Detroit wasn't working out. The owner wasn't exactly young then, I can see him retiring and selling out to someone who thought "Red Lion" was a little old-fashioned.
 
2012-11-16 04:33:39 PM  

Any Pie Left: As an American, I have to say I've always liked Canada and Canadians, even when they beat the Black Hawks at hockey. As a kid, my folks drove us to visit a distant relative in Windsor. My everlasting impressions of WIndsor from that time were: BOY, this place is kept spotlessly clean - not a speck of trash on any road or sidewalk, everything looks swept and dusted and tidy, compared to Chicago, and everyone is SO DAMNed Polite.

My second impression was how patriotic the people were: we went to the movies and they played a clip of the Maple Leaf Flag and everyone stood and sang their anthem, which sounds very nice, by the way; firm, yet understated, confident and reverent. As a kid, I sat back down and thought, as the film started to play, why don't we do that in our theaters, only at sports events?

Do Canadian theaters still do that? I'd like to think they do, but I expect that's no longer the case today.


It was a British custom (you can see references to it in Monty Python's Flying Circus) to sing "God Save the King (or Queen)" before performances of plays and later film showings.

This probably ended in most places by the late 60s or early 70s but they even did it in the British equivalent of Vaudeville shows, where it probably led to audience restlessness in less patriotic times.

A patriotic image (such as the famous 1950s image of the Queen on a horse) was probably displayed at the time and the theatre piano player or sound system would provide the music.

I don't recall this being done when I was a child in the 1960s and 70s, so it must have been abandoned to shorten the length of programmes, and was most likely discarded along with the news reel and cartoon(s) as theatres sought greater profits, faster turnaround, and gave up keeping people out of the theatre until a break in the programme.

Going to the theatre, even for a movie, was once an event that evoked a sense of occasion and back when men still wore hats and suits on the street and ladies wore their hats in church, the anthem was part of the pomp and ceremony, although resented by the same sort of yahoos who boo the national anthem today (Quebequers and Philadelphia Fliers fans).

Just kidding. A lot of other people are yahoos, too.

The fact that you remember hearing "Oh, Canada" suggests that either Windsor was more with it than much of small town Ontario or that you were there after 1967. Earlier it might have been "God Save the Queen", "God Save the King", or even "the Maple Leaf Forever", which like the Canadian Red Ensign (a naval flag) was belovèd in Ontario and difficult to supplant with more recent and less British emblems and symbols.

When I was a child there were a lot of old people who insited on "God Save the Queen" and either the Red Enseign or the UK Union Jack. I thing some of them were flying an early version. Many of these, as public school substitute teachers, would insist on singing the national anthem (almost always "God Save the Queen") at the beginning of the day and a reading from the Bible although they weren't supposed to do that. We'd tell them that they weren't supposed to do that, but they'd do that anyway. What the Heck, it was a waste of a good ten or fifteen minutes at the beginning of class. We didn't circle the desks and drive them out of the classroom, even though many of the students were French.

Canadian Republicans were Monarchists in those days.

This patriotism was deeply embued in them before the Liberals took over their rural world but it may have been partly due to American immigrants living next to British immigrants in great numbers. The percentage of Canadians who were of British ancestry peaked in 1871, while the percentage who were French peaked around the early Sixties. I suspect the rambunctiousness of both populations at or near their peak was partly demographic--a lot of young people with ants in their pants and a lot of older people worried about the coming fall.

This may also explain American politics since 1988 or thereabouts.

But this is no doubt too much information for most readers, even the Canuckistanis, so I will stop with that thought.
 
2012-11-16 06:39:12 PM  

brantgoose: It was a British custom (you can see references to it in Monty Python's Flying Circus) to sing "God Save the King (or Queen)" before performances of plays and later film showings.


Not really surprising and (at least in North America) it is customary to sing the national anthem before major sporting events.
 
2012-11-16 07:46:43 PM  
The anus is Bismarck, ND -- after all, it is just south of Regina.
 
2012-11-16 08:19:33 PM  

Max Awesome: roughridersfan: Decillion:

I've also NEVER seen milk in a plastic bag. Maybe it's an Ontario thing because I never saw it in Saskatchewan or Manitoba. I grew up seeing milk in cartons and, eventually, in plastic jugs.

Yeppers, it's an Eastern thing. We had milk-bags when I was a kid in Ontario, but then when we moved one province over to Manitoba it was cartons only.

This is awesome:

"We warmly welcome Mr. Colbert to lead the parade and go where no man has gone before."

heh.


We had them in BC back in the eighties when I was a kid, I remember putting the milk bag into the plastic container and snipping the end off to make a spout. Maybe you're too young to remember them?
 
2012-11-17 12:27:28 AM  
And it won't be the first time Colbert has traveled up a rectum.
 
2012-11-17 12:30:14 AM  

ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website


My condolences; I fled in 1995. Was back in town recently, noticed the population is now over 220,000. Asked my family about it and they swear up and down that Windsor is growing again. (I decided against asking if this was akin to a corpse bloating in the sun as I was spending almost a week staying with them and I really wanted Mom to cook me breakfast.)
 
2012-11-17 12:37:51 AM  

NephilimNexus: What is particularly amusing is that Windsor is well known as being one of the most anti-US cities in Canada... being that on any given Friday night there are more Yanks than Canadians there, they've had plenty of experience with hordes of obnoxious, beer swilling 19 and 20 years old drunkards from across the river.

Places where the economy is based primarily on tourism are always populated by people who hate tourists. Florida is the same way.

Once you get deeper into Canada everyone becomes more stereotypically super-friendly, though.


Amusingly (or sadly), this came up for me just a month ago. A really nice American was giving a few of us a tour of an interesting project they're involved with, and while we were waiting for everyone to show up we got to talking about ourselves to pass the time. I mentioned that I was from Windsor and no one knew where that was. So I said "Right across the river from Detroit." to which a Canadian University student asked "Are you American?". Without thinking I said "Hell no!" then spent the next five minutes apologizing to the American giving us the tour and explaining that I'm from Windsor, and we really don't like being called Americans. Been out of Windsor for 17 years and it's still an automatic reaction for me.

/I do miss getting drunk in the parks near the Ambassador Bridge, talking about all the cars coming across from Detroit as if they were full of 19yr old college guys coming over here to get drunk while watching Canadian strippers. I'm told we had some really good nights doing that.
 
2012-11-17 12:43:29 AM  

Techhell: ds_4815: Maybe we can show him the sights. Bingo parlours... the casino... crippling unemployment... more bingo parlours...

/Windsorite
//For more information, visit our website

My condolences; I fled in 1995. Was back in town recently, noticed the population is now over 220,000. Asked my family about it and they swear up and down that Windsor is growing again. (I decided against asking if this was akin to a corpse bloating in the sun as I was spending almost a week staying with them and I really wanted Mom to cook me breakfast.)


While I'm not quite as cynical about the city as a whole ("hole"?), that's pretty damn funny.

/I'm actually "out in the county", but you probably know well by now the motions of "it's easier just to say you're from Windsor".
 
2012-11-17 01:59:29 AM  

trackerbri: wxboy: It's certainly Canada's rectum.

Never been to Welland, huh?


Hey! I was born there..... it truly is earth's rectum.
 
2012-11-17 04:57:04 PM  

brantgoose: It was a British custom (you can see references to it in Monty Python's Flying Circus) to sing "God Save the King (or Queen)" before performances of plays and later film showings.

This probably ended in most places by the late 60s or early 70s but they even did it in the British equivalent of Vaudeville shows, where it probably led to audience restlessness in less patriotic times.

A patriotic image (such as the famous 1950s image of the Queen on a horse) was probably displayed at the time and the theatre piano player or sound system would provide the music.

I don't recall this being done when I was a child in the 1960s and 70s, so it must have been abandoned to shorten the length of programmes, and was most likely discarded along with the news reel and cartoon(s) as theatres sought greater profits, faster turnaround, and gave up keeping people out of the theatre until a break in the programme.

Going to the theatre, even for a movie, was once an event that evoked a sense of occasion and back when men still wore hats and suits on the street and l ...


My understanding was that this custom was (and maybe still is) fairly common in any country that does not grant it's citizens the right to assemble freely. Singing the anthem, or other patriotic display, before a gathering of any size is a way to indicate to anyone who may be watching that the purpose of the gathering is not to plot against the government. From this perspective I find it odd that Americans always play their anthem before sporting events - but I have heard this was not common practice before the McCarthy-era. Perhaps someone can confirm?

Personally I find all the jingoistic flag waving pointless, but I stand for the anthem anyway because not doing so so can still earn you a beat-down.
 
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