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(Delaware Online)   Union: Hell no we won't take pay or benefit cuts. Hostess Inc.: Fine. We're out of business. I'd have a better headline but I'm running to the store to stock up on Ding Dongs   (delawareonline.com ) divider line
    More: News, Wonder Bread, work stoppages, bankruptcy court, plant operations  
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4580 clicks; posted to Business » on 16 Nov 2012 at 8:14 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-16 07:36:45 AM  
Loser, Hostess doesn't make Ring Dings, they make Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, and Twinkies.

/rushes to store
 
2012-11-16 07:46:52 AM  
The $700 million in debt is what killed Hostess. Their hedge fund managers hollowed out the company, and used the cash to purchase their next victim. When Hostess couldn't make their loan payment, it was up to the employees to pony up the difference. The owners had already made their loot.

America, fark yeah.
 
2012-11-16 07:50:39 AM  
Hostess is owned and ran by two hedge fund companies. I'm sure they will come out of this quite nicely.

Hostess is about to get Romney'd

/Sell Mortimer, SELL!
 
2012-11-16 07:54:15 AM  

PreMortem: Hostess is owned and ran by two hedge fund companies. I'm sure they will come out of this quite nicely


They already did. Where do you think the $700 million in debt went?

And who the hell loans $700 million to a cupcake company to begin with?
 
2012-11-16 07:56:42 AM  
What? No more Twinkies?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
 
2012-11-16 08:00:35 AM  
News flash?
 
2012-11-16 08:00:52 AM  
So I guess next time gold eating aliens invade, we're all farked.

i76.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-16 08:02:12 AM  
I'm pretty sure I haven't bought one of their products in 25 years.
 
2012-11-16 08:04:06 AM  
Woody Harrelson will be inconsolable
 
2012-11-16 08:04:34 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: The $700 million in debt is what killed Hostess. Their hedge fund managers hollowed out the company, and used the cash to purchase their next victim. When Hostess couldn't make their loan payment, it was up to the employees to pony up the difference. The owners had already made their loot.

America, fark yeah.


So Bain bought them?
 
2012-11-16 08:07:25 AM  
Little Debbie must be cackling with glee.
 
2012-11-16 08:07:32 AM  

GAT_00: Marcus Aurelius: The $700 million in debt is what killed Hostess. Their hedge fund managers hollowed out the company, and used the cash to purchase their next victim. When Hostess couldn't make their loan payment, it was up to the employees to pony up the difference. The owners had already made their loot.

America, fark yeah.

So Bain bought them?


Not Bain. It's a hodge podge of hedge funds, if I'm not mistaken, but I couldn't tell you which ones.
 
2012-11-16 08:08:06 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: The $700 million in debt is what killed Hostess. Their hedge fund managers hollowed out the company, and used the cash to purchase their next victim. When Hostess couldn't make their loan payment, it was up to the employees to pony up the difference. The owners had already made their loot.

America, fark yeah.


The company was struggling for years going back to their first bankruptcy in 2004 (and before they were purchased by the hedge funds). Obviously profitability was an issue long before this bankruptcy.
 
2012-11-16 08:10:34 AM  
Anticipated reactions:
Right wing: Unions kill jobs!
Left wing: Hedge Funds kill jobs!
Impacted workers: fark
Everyone else: Meh, there is other junk food available
 
2012-11-16 08:12:30 AM  

slayer199: Marcus Aurelius: The $700 million in debt is what killed Hostess. Their hedge fund managers hollowed out the company, and used the cash to purchase their next victim. When Hostess couldn't make their loan payment, it was up to the employees to pony up the difference. The owners had already made their loot.

America, fark yeah.

The company was struggling for years going back to their first bankruptcy in 2004 (and before they were purchased by the hedge funds). Obviously profitability was an issue long before this bankruptcy.


Which is of course why the hedge fund intentionally drove them to bankruptcy.

Marcus Aurelius: Not Bain. It's a hodge podge of hedge funds, if I'm not mistaken, but I couldn't tell you which ones.


Oh I know. If it was Bain it would be in the headlines.
 
2012-11-16 08:14:40 AM  
Once again everybody lines up to pick just one side to blame.
 
2012-11-16 08:17:24 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: The $700 million in debt is what killed Hostess. Their hedge fund managers hollowed out the company, and used the cash to purchase their next victim. When Hostess couldn't make their loan payment, it was up to the employees to pony up the difference. The owners had already made their loot.

America, fark yeah.


isn't this the essence of "vulture" capitalism? buy a company, run up its debt, and declare bankruptcy while absconding with the loot. this was bain's MO for years. it's the business equivalent of the goodfellas restaurant insurance scam.
 
2012-11-16 08:18:10 AM  
Sure, they'll liquidate. A new entity will buy up their name and profitable products, and the liabilities (like the unions) will be cast off.
 
2012-11-16 08:18:10 AM  
Quick stock up on ho-hos so you can make froyooreohos!
 
2012-11-16 08:19:10 AM  
Guess I better stock up on some of my favs while I go out shopping
 
2012-11-16 08:20:10 AM  
Thanks obamacare
 
2012-11-16 08:21:19 AM  
Sucks that management got them in to this position.
 
2012-11-16 08:21:54 AM  

TheHighlandHowler: Sure, they'll liquidate. A new entity will buy up their name and profitable products, and the liabilities (like the unions) will be cast off.


I'd be in for this.
 
2012-11-16 08:22:58 AM  
Not to worry, there are plenty of other artery clogging diabeetus inducing products on the shelves.
 
2012-11-16 08:23:26 AM  

KingVJ: TheHighlandHowler: Sure, they'll liquidate. A new entity will buy up their name and profitable products, and the liabilities (like the unions) will be cast off.

I'd be in for this.


Yeah, who needs workers that actually want to get paid what they were promised? Fark them!
 
2012-11-16 08:23:30 AM  
It's not the end of Twinkies and all the other garbage. One of the things they will sell off, along with factories, trucks and other equipment, will be the rights to the various products in their lineup. Kind of like how Chrysler ended up with Jeep, or how Avanti kept going after Studebaker shut down.

Cars are not Twinkies, but the nutritional value and ingredients are similar.
 
2012-11-16 08:23:39 AM  
If you need to cut your staffs wages by 10%, reduce their pensions, and cut their health insurance o stay in business, then maybe you need to be liquidated. Let someone else capture their market share that is ran better.
 
2012-11-16 08:25:58 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: The $700 million in debt is what killed Hostess. Their hedge fund managers hollowed out the company, and used the cash to purchase their next victim. When Hostess couldn't make their loan payment, it was up to the employees to pony up the difference. The owners had already made their loot.

America, fark yeah.


I don't think you are on board with the correct narrative. This is about the evil Unions that bankrupt 'Murica by being greedy. Imagine, factory peasants wanting to make a good living!
 
2012-11-16 08:26:56 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: The $700 million in debt is what killed Hostess. Their hedge fund managers hollowed out the company, and used the cash to purchase their next victim. When Hostess couldn't make their loan payment, it was up to the employees to pony up the difference. The owners had already made their loot.

America, fark yeah.


But... but... but... UNIONS!
 
2012-11-16 08:27:13 AM  

Earguy: Loser, Hostess doesn't make Ring Dings, they make Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, and Twinkies.

/rushes to store


Heh. Looks like you struck a nerve.
 
2012-11-16 08:27:14 AM  

Devolving_Spud: It's not the end of Twinkies and all the other garbage. One of the things they will sell off, along with factories, trucks and other equipment, will be the rights to the various products in their lineup. Kind of like how Chrysler ended up with Jeep, or how Avanti kept going after Studebaker shut down.

Cars are not Twinkies, but the nutritional value and ingredients are similar.


I'll bet there's already a line of buyers for the Twinkies brand. Somebody else will be making them by the first of the year. Myself, I'm going to make an offer for Twinkie the Kid.
 
2012-11-16 08:27:28 AM  
Ugh, how do you people eat that shiat in the first place? Go to a bakery.
 
2012-11-16 08:28:17 AM  
Somebody will buy their assets and reopen. Perhaps the US will bail them out to protect the unions like we did with GM.

Difficulty- Michelle hates junk food
 
2012-11-16 08:28:22 AM  

slayer199: Marcus Aurelius: The $700 million in debt is what killed Hostess. Their hedge fund managers hollowed out the company, and used the cash to purchase their next victim. When Hostess couldn't make their loan payment, it was up to the employees to pony up the difference. The owners had already made their loot.

America, fark yeah.

The company was struggling for years going back to their first bankruptcy in 2004 (and before they were purchased by the hedge funds). Obviously profitability was an issue long before this bankruptcy.


Hmmm, with $700 million in debt, I wonder why? Think, think....
 
2012-11-16 08:30:26 AM  
Imagine this Twinkie is the normal amount of Farks given. Based on today's reading it would be 35 feet long and weigh 600 pounds.
 
2012-11-16 08:31:40 AM  

RminusQ: KingVJ: TheHighlandHowler: Sure, they'll liquidate. A new entity will buy up their name and profitable products, and the liabilities (like the unions) will be cast off.

I'd be in for this.

Yeah, who needs workers that actually want to get paid what they were promised? Fark them!


But the CEO's severance is a holy contract, he needs to get paid that. It would be wrong to cheat him.
 
2012-11-16 08:31:53 AM  
No more shiatty white bread or snacky cakes?

I can live with this

/too bad for the workers who got farked
 
2012-11-16 08:32:19 AM  
The best Hostess product is as processed bear anus to the glory that is Tastykake.
 
2012-11-16 08:33:15 AM  

Mugato: Ugh, how do you people eat that shiat in the first place? Go to a bakery.


But I like sugary sponges fill with spackle.
 
2012-11-16 08:33:54 AM  
They just told the people on the picket line in Sacramento on live tv

/they cheered
 
2012-11-16 08:34:26 AM  

I_C_Weener: Imagine this Twinkie is the normal amount of Farks given. Based on today's reading it would be 35 feet long and weigh 600 pounds.


What about the twinkie?
 
2012-11-16 08:35:41 AM  
Aand greenlit. Let the Ghostbuster, Zombieland, and stoner jokes roll in. We certainly haven't seen them by the boatload in the TF queue.

/not subby
//the other headlines also suck
 
2012-11-16 08:35:53 AM  
... and thus, unions were remembered not for the labor riots but for the Great Twinkie Riots.
 
2012-11-16 08:36:58 AM  
"Look, workers, you can either have less money or no money."

"WE WANT MORE MONEY!"

"OK, no money, then."

"DURRRR"
 
2012-11-16 08:36:59 AM  
Ah, the job creators at work.

When times are good, they endlessly extol their virtuous selves as creators of employment and all-around do gooders for society's betterment.

When times are bad, they tell us the unions are evil and that politicians policies are running them out of business.

Just another take on "Privatize the profits, socialize the losses"
 
2012-11-16 08:37:53 AM  

NickelP: If you need to cut your staffs wages by 10%, reduce their pensions, and cut their health insurance o stay in business, then maybe you need to be liquidated. Let someone else capture their market share that is ran better.


It's called restucturing.

However Obamas union thug dicks sent 18,500 people to the unemployment line. Yeah... They are much better off now with no job than a pay cut....

Unions need to farking die. They destroy everything they touch. Especially schools. Chicago schools are just patheric.
 
2012-11-16 08:38:06 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: They just told the people on the picket line in Sacramento on live tv

/they cheered



They're pleased their company is going under?
 
2012-11-16 08:39:07 AM  

TheHighlandHowler: Sure, they'll liquidate. A new entity will buy up their name and profitable products, and the liabilities (like the unions) will be cast off.


Don't forget the current management liability. Sure, they'll get golden parachutes, but they'll be pushed out of the plane too.
 
2012-11-16 08:39:25 AM  
When was the last time someone bought their products ironically? I mean, what type of moron still eats the HFCS infused white bread?
 
2012-11-16 08:39:39 AM  
What? No...no...NO.

Dolly Madison is owned by Hostess!
 
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