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(Deadspin)   ESPN: All Tebow, ALL the time   (deadspin.com) divider line 69
    More: Amusing, Tim Tebow, ESPN, irrelevance  
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2626 clicks; posted to Sports » on 16 Nov 2012 at 8:39 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-16 08:55:11 AM
Bob Wischusen is a longtime Jets broadcaster, since before ESPN Radio took over the rights to the Jets games. Good guy, and long-suffering Jets fan.
 
2012-11-16 08:56:04 AM
"All he does is win" *acoustic edition*

/original
//I feel dirty for saying this.... *sigh* Bayless is right.
///*gag*
 
2012-11-16 09:07:15 AM

Jim from Saint Paul: Bayless is right.


If you say a million goddamn stupidly absurd things you're bound to be right with at least one thing.

Anyways that was actually funny and its not like there was anything to talk about in that game.
 
2012-11-16 09:21:19 AM

Arkanaut: long-suffering Jets fan


Steller analysis, bro but that statement is redundant. Oh the pain!
 
2012-11-16 09:23:32 AM
Thank God for that rant. There was absolutely no reason to bring up Tebow, at all. Who the hell cares about a shiatty quarterback who's not playing for a shiatty team?


I know, I know, he just wins. The dude is a winner.
 
2012-11-16 09:25:04 AM
Brett Favre is retired so ESPN needs somebody's shlong to guzzle.
 
2012-11-16 09:29:20 AM

Gunny Highway: Arkanaut: long-suffering Jets fan

Steller analysis, bro but that statement is redundant. Oh the pain!


It's like one of those things where the adjective is obligatory. Kind of like how Homer always says "grey-eyed Athena" or "wine-dark sea".

/pretty much all I remember from freshman English class.
 
2012-11-16 09:30:23 AM
They mentioned the contractual obligation on the ESPN Fantasy Focus Podcast yesterday.
 
2012-11-16 09:32:22 AM
The Jets not playing Tebow is killing me because I know the media won't shut up about him until he's given a shot and blows it badly.
 
2012-11-16 09:36:04 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: The Jets not playing Tebow is killing me because I know the media won't shut up about him until he's given a shot and blows it badly.


I think at this point Tebow is the only thing that is saving Sanchez' job because it's splits the fan base into people who want Tebow to start and people who want McElroy to start. I for one would prefer either as I am forced to watch Jets broadcasts due to where I live.
 
2012-11-16 09:45:01 AM

Jim from Saint Paul:
//I feel dirty for saying this.... *sigh* Bayless is right.


A stopped clock is right twice a day...an accomplishment Skip Brainless hopes to match sometime.
 
2012-11-16 09:46:31 AM

thecpt: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: The Jets not playing Tebow is killing me because I know the media won't shut up about him until he's given a shot and blows it badly.

I think at this point Tebow is the only thing that is saving Sanchez' job because it's splits the fan base into people who want Tebow to start and people who want McElroy to start. I for one would prefer either as I am forced to watch Jets broadcasts due to where I live.


I was forced to watch them every week (along with the Bills and Giants). Until last week, which was the only damn week I wanted to watch them, as they were playing my Seahawks. F*ck you, NFL coverage map.
 
2012-11-16 09:47:03 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: The Jets not playing Tebow is killing me because I know the media won't shut up about him until he's given a shot and blows it badly.


Even then they won't shut up

Right now it's talk about when they're going to start Tebow, if they start him, then they'll talk incessantly about who on the Jets coaching staff should shoulder the blame for his failure to be the great player they all know he could be when he inevitably blows it, then it'll be talk of where he should be traded to because his continued failure can only mean that the Jets aren't building an offense he can thrive in, and on and on and on it will go, as every trade rumor will be talked up into front page news while actual games of importance will be lucky to get a brief mention because Tebow Nation is still waiting patiently for him to start shiatting nuggets of pure gold that they know he can... any second now...........
 
2012-11-16 10:00:17 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: The Jets not playing Tebow is killing me because I know the media won't shut up about him until he's given a shot and blows it badly.


The Jets have a pretty soft schedule to end the season. You put Tebow in and the Jets start winning, then what are they going to do?
 
2012-11-16 10:02:25 AM

IAmRight: thecpt: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: The Jets not playing Tebow is killing me because I know the media won't shut up about him until he's given a shot and blows it badly.

I think at this point Tebow is the only thing that is saving Sanchez' job because it's splits the fan base into people who want Tebow to start and people who want McElroy to start. I for one would prefer either as I am forced to watch Jets broadcasts due to where I live.

I was forced to watch them every week (along with the Bills and Giants). Until last week, which was the only damn week I wanted to watch them, as they were playing my Seahawks. F*ck you, NFL coverage map.


Two CCs of NFL Sunday Ticket, stat.

/cable? That sucks. I had cable for awhile and the bare minimum satellite package so I could get the Ticket too
//absent that I'd probably go to a bar every weekend if I was stuck watching the Bills and Jets
 
2012-11-16 10:04:39 AM

LTRM35A2: Tebow Nation is still waiting patiently for him to start shiatting nuggets of pure gold that they know he can... any second now...........


Next on The Discovery Channel: Tebowl Gold. Rival prospecting crews fight the elements, each other, and Tebow's high-fiber diet for shares of the morning dump mother load.
 
2012-11-16 10:05:07 AM
I really really want to watch the ESPN apoplectic head asplosion when they start McElroy. Especially if he does well.
 
2012-11-16 10:06:08 AM

js34603: Two CCs of NFL Sunday Ticket, stat.

/cable? That sucks. I had cable for awhile and the bare minimum satellite package so I could get the Ticket too
//absent that I'd probably go to a bar every weekend if I was stuck watching the Bills and Jets


I can't get Direct, but I found out NFL ticket is available at the same price through Playstation Streaming. A little too late but it's clearly necessary for next season. Hopefully it's price will go down again too.
 
2012-11-16 10:06:35 AM

KingKauff: Brett Favre is retired so ESPN needs somebody's shlong to guzzle.


Well to be fair...

Tom Brady - Patriots suck (for them), didn't Teddy Bear Bruschi die?

PeyPey - Mountain Time Zone. It was hard enough getting people to care when he was running the best offense in the Central.

Breesus - Bountygate, underperforming

Discount Double Check It - Not Brett Favre

Russell Wilson - Oh wait, you're serious, let me laugh even harder

St. Tebow - Team in the biggest media market, Sanchez sucks out loud, Rex Ryan, all he does is win

Who else would they talk about?
 
2012-11-16 10:07:26 AM
www.theblaze.com

/all he does is win
 
2012-11-16 10:13:16 AM

roc6783: KingKauff: Brett Favre is retired so ESPN needs somebody's shlong to guzzle.

Well to be fair...

Tom Brady - Patriots suck (for them), didn't Teddy Bear Bruschi die?

PeyPey - Mountain Time Zone. It was hard enough getting people to care when he was running the best offense in the Central.

Breesus - Bountygate, underperforming

Discount Double Check It - Not Brett Favre

Russell Wilson - Oh wait, you're serious, let me laugh even harder

St. Tebow - Team in the biggest media market, Sanchez sucks out loud, Rex Ryan, all he does is win

Who else would they talk about?


I'm genuinely surprised they aren't taking turns hand-wringing and crucifying Cam Newton.
 
2012-11-16 10:14:45 AM

js34603: Two CCs of NFL Sunday Ticket, stat.


Nah, I just watch RedZone and it's fine. Then I stream the game for those in-between periods.
 
2012-11-16 10:16:31 AM

UNC_Samurai: roc6783: KingKauff: ***snip***
I'm genuinely surprised they aren't taking turns hand-wringing and crucifying Cam Newton.


Who? Oh you mean that guy that was breaking rookie records last year, but is looking mediocre this year due to an incompetent coaching staff? Ya, there's no story there.
 
2012-11-16 10:18:09 AM

roc6783: KingKauff: Brett Favre is retired so ESPN needs somebody's shlong to guzzle.

Well to be fair...

Tom Brady - Patriots suck (for them), didn't Teddy Bear Bruschi die?

PeyPey - Mountain Time Zone. It was hard enough getting people to care when he was running the best offense in the Central.

Breesus - Bountygate, underperforming

Discount Double Check It - Not Brett Favre

Russell Wilson - Oh wait, you're serious, let me laugh even harder

St. Tebow - Team in the biggest media market, Sanchez sucks out loud, Rex Ryan, all he does is win

Who else would they talk about?


RGIII?
 
2012-11-16 10:20:06 AM

roc6783: UNC_Samurai: roc6783: KingKauff: ***snip***
I'm genuinely surprised they aren't taking turns hand-wringing and crucifying Cam Newton.

Who? Oh you mean that guy that was breaking rookie records last year, but is looking mediocre this year due to an incompetent coaching staff? Ya, there's no story there.


That Ginger quarterback...nah nobody likes ginger guys.
How awful Blaine Gabbert is...
Batman Cutler
I think the Vikes have a quarterback. Give me a second to check.
 
2012-11-16 10:22:22 AM

DrewCurtisJr: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: The Jets not playing Tebow is killing me because I know the media won't shut up about him until he's given a shot and blows it badly.

The Jets have a pretty soft schedule to end the season. You put Tebow in and the Jets start winning, then what are they going to do?


acquire a Manning?
 
2012-11-16 10:22:54 AM

Arkanaut: roc6783: KingKauff: ***snip***

RGIII?


Is there an incredibly polarizing figure that is currently on the bench behind him that couldn't have done worse, but likely could not have done better either? No, well then there's your answer.
 
2012-11-16 10:24:26 AM
Well, he's no Demarcus Ware, that's for sure.
 
2012-11-16 10:26:12 AM

thecpt: roc6783: UNC_Samurai: roc6783: KingKauff: ***snip***


That Ginger quarterback...nah nobody likes ginger guys.
How awful Blaine Gabbert is...
Batman Cutler
I think the Vikes have a quarterback. Give me a second to check.


Exactly.

No one in Jacksonville even realizes there is a team there. If you took all of the Rays fans and Jaguars fans and put them in either stadium, you'd still have to tarp 2 sections so the game wasn't blacked out.

His defense is better at scoring TDs than he is. He is better at scoring skanks though.

No, they have a Jugs machine they reprogrammed to hand it to AP.
 
2012-11-16 10:29:58 AM
There's more Tebow talk on Fark than there is on ESPN.
 
2012-11-16 10:34:27 AM

roc6783: UNC_Samurai: roc6783: KingKauff: ***snip***
I'm genuinely surprised they aren't taking turns hand-wringing and crucifying Cam Newton.

Who? Oh you mean that guy that was breaking rookie records last year, but is looking mediocre this year due to an incompetent coaching staff? Ya, there's no story there.


It was FOX instead of ESPN, but dammit, they're trying.

/never heard Daryl Johnston be an insufferable douche like that
 
2012-11-16 10:35:11 AM

KingKauff: Brett Favre is retired so ESPN needs somebody's shlong to guzzle.


I don't know if you listened to the audio clip but he actually mentions Favre, sarcastically, at the end. They should have quoted that part too because it made a great punchline.
 
2012-11-16 10:37:11 AM

roc6783: If you took all of the Rays fans and Jaguars fans and put them in either stadium, you'd still have to tarp 2 sections so the game wasn't blacked out.


No, the tarps are there to change the stadium between NFL and College football configurations.

You're apparently too stupid to realize this, but college football stadiums are much, much larger than NFL stadiums. EverBank hosts two college football games a year, and so the tarps are removed to put the stadium in college football configuration. The NFL mandates certain stadium sizes and facilities, which are not available when the tarps are removed. Jacksonville is the second-smallest NFL market, and thus it would be stupid to have the NFL's largest stadium (which it would be without the tarps.)
 
2012-11-16 10:41:06 AM

roc6783: Arkanaut: roc6783: KingKauff: ***snip***

RGIII?

Is there an incredibly polarizing figure that is currently on the bench behind him that couldn't have done worse, but likely could not have done better either? No, well then there's your answer.


Sexy Rexy? He's from Florida too.
 
2012-11-16 10:45:54 AM

bubbaprog: roc6783: ***snip***
You're apparently too stupid to realize this, but college football stadiums are much, much larger than NFL stadiums. EverBank hosts two college football games a year, and so the tarps are removed to put the stadium in college football configuration. The NFL mandates certain stadium sizes and facilities, which are not available when the tarps are removed. Jacksonville is the second-smallest NFL market, and thus it would be stupid to have the NFL's largest stadium (which it would be without the tarps.)


i.qkme.me
 
2012-11-16 10:50:23 AM

bubbaprog: roc6783: If you took all of the Rays fans and Jaguars fans and put them in either stadium, you'd still have to tarp 2 sections so the game wasn't blacked out.

No, the tarps are there to change the stadium between NFL and College football configurations.

You're apparently too stupid to realize this, but college football stadiums are much, much larger than NFL stadiums. EverBank hosts two college football games a year, and so the tarps are removed to put the stadium in college football configuration. The NFL mandates certain stadium sizes and facilities, which are not available when the tarps are removed. Jacksonville is the second-smallest NFL market, and thus it would be stupid to have the NFL's largest stadium (which it would be without the tarps.)


And one of those is not just a "college football game" - that stadium was built specifically for the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. In 1993, Orlando and the Citrus Bowl were courting UGA and UF to have the game move there, and in response Jacksonville tore down most of the old stadium and built what is now EverBank. Once the stadium agreement was in place, the Jacksonville NFL group asked them to tweak the facilities so they could sweeten their proposal - but the expansion group that was lobbying for the Jaguars got handed a golden goose by the Gator Bowl folks.
 
2012-11-16 10:50:34 AM

IAmRight: js34603: Two CCs of NFL Sunday Ticket, stat.

Nah, I just watch RedZone and it's fine. Then I stream the game for those in-between periods.


Is it possible to get RedZone without the Sunday Ticket now?

Before the advent of RedZone I would watch the channel with like 8 games going at once in little screens and flip between the sound, but since RedZone I find myself usually watching nothing but that unless the Steelers are playing.

I love not having to watch commercials and seeing every team play every week.
 
2012-11-16 10:52:12 AM

roc6783: Who? Oh you mean that guy that was breaking rookie records last year, but is looking mediocre this year due to an incompetent coaching staff? Ya, there's no story there.


Um, he wasn't really "record-breaking" after his first four games of a historic season wherein no one had a full training camp and defenses were also historically awful across the league for the first four weeks...and he played the worst of them...and they usually came in games where his team was losing big and he had to throw a lot.

They're best when he doesn't throw - if he throws 23 or fewer passes, they are 6-0. If he throws 24+, they're 2-17. The two times they won with him throwing more than 23 passes were against the Jaguars (Gabbert) and Colts (Painter) last year. One day maybe they'll realize that they shouldn't put the ball in Newton's hands so much.
 
2012-11-16 10:52:48 AM
I am interested to see if the Jets play Tebow at Jacksonville on 12/9. Ticket sales for that game are relatively high for a non-divisional opponent (save for the Pats). If he plays, and the crowd responds favorably, we may see a trade. If not, he can always walk home from his NFL career.
 
2012-11-16 10:56:31 AM

js34603: Before the advent of RedZone I would watch the channel with like 8 games going at once in little screens and flip between the sound, but since RedZone I find myself usually watching nothing but that unless the Steelers are playing.

I love not having to watch commercials and seeing every team play every week.


Honestly, the no commercials is probably the No. 1 reason I watch. I was just upset because I saw the Seahawks were playing the Jets and I was excited all week, thinking "f*ck yeah, I don't really care about the other evening games, the Bills played early, the Giants aren't playing - I'm gonna get a Seahawks game!" And then I find out that they're letting FOX run with the Cowboys/Eagles game and CBS isn't even going to have football.

At least I should get Seahawks/Bills.

/FFS the Jets have training camp like a half-hour away, dammit
//also wouldn't mind catching their game this week since I got the coveted "whoever is playing the Jets" defense in FFB this week
 
2012-11-16 11:04:57 AM

IAmRight: They're best when he doesn't throw - if he throws 23 or fewer passes, they are 6-0. If he throws 24+, they're 2-17. The two times they won with him throwing more than 23 passes were against the Jaguars (Gabbert) and Colts (Painter) last year. One day maybe they'll realize that they shouldn't put the ball in Newton's hands so much.


Well generally when you're losing you throw the ball more but those records are pretty lopsided. I think the continuation of "record setting" hype was from how productive he was ff wise. Even when he wasn't passing well last year, he would find a way to run it in twice during junk time or hit Smith 10 yards away and he would run 60 yards to the endzone miraculously. Yeah, if the panthers had a defense like the broncos I think the panthers would be an extremely effective ground and pound team. Its not an awful defense but still not even average.
 
2012-11-16 11:07:08 AM

Super Chronic: KingKauff: Brett Favre is retired so ESPN needs somebody's shlong to guzzle.

I don't know if you listened to the audio clip but he actually mentions Favre, sarcastically, at the end. They should have quoted that part too because it made a great punchline.


I didn't because the clip is blocked at work. Thanks, though. I still stand by my original statement.
 
2012-11-16 11:11:55 AM
Ask a guy what he thinks about Tebow and odds are he'll say he sucks as a QB, is a great athlete (but shouldn't be running an NFL offense) and something about his Christianity.

Ask a woman about Tebow and the loons start juicing and they admit they don't care how good he is, he's just a hunk of a man, the kind they wouldn't be afraid to take home to meet their parents, and he happens to be rich, too.

Or at least that's how it is in my office. Not sure what gay guys think of him.
 
2012-11-16 11:17:52 AM

HST's Dead Carcass: Ask a guy what he thinks about Tebow and odds are he'll say he sucks as a QB, is a great athlete (but shouldn't be running an NFL offense) and something about his Christianity.

Ask a woman about Tebow and the loons start juicing and they admit they don't care how good he is, he's just a hunk of a man, the kind they wouldn't be afraid to take home to meet their parents, and he happens to be rich, too.

Or at least that's how it is in my office. Not sure what gay guys think of him.


So where does Skip Bayless fit in there? He definitely starts juicing when discussing Tebow.

/he shattered the mould! All he does is win! All he does is win!
//except when he loses
 
2012-11-16 11:18:42 AM

roc6783: UNC_Samurai: roc6783: KingKauff: ***snip***
I'm genuinely surprised they aren't taking turns hand-wringing and crucifying Cam Newton.

Who? Oh you mean that guy that was breaking rookie records last year, but is looking mediocre this year due to an incompetent coaching staff? Ya, there's no story there.


Last year the Panthers faces one of the easier defensive slates. This year one of the hardest. They also faced, so far, one of the best slates of offenses. So a year of film, and massively better competition, the table was set for a rather painful regression. Cam schedule gets easier from here on out (I think, not 100% sure) so we might forecast some "After struggling early, Cam gets it" stories. Not that what I mention is the only factor, just one of many that gets overlooked.
 
2012-11-16 11:22:05 AM

js34603: So where does Skip Bayless fit in there? He definitely starts juicing when discussing Tebow.

/he shattered the mould! All he does is win! All he does is win!
//except when he loses


I don't know the talking heads, to be honest, so I'm not completely familiar with his knobslobbing.

I used to say the same thing about Flutie, that dude was just a winner, plain and simple. Tebow? Maybe he can win games, but it's so unorthodox conventional playstyle, which I enjoy watching and consider it to be the entertaining part of the game, goes out the window and before you know it, you have 22 guys on the field trying to 'wing it', and it becomes a mess to watch, like baseball.
 
2012-11-16 11:26:28 AM

thecpt: Well generally when you're losing you throw the ball more but those records are pretty lopsided. I think the continuation of "record setting" hype was from how productive he was ff wise. Even when he wasn't passing well last year, he would find a way to run it in twice during junk time or hit Smith 10 yards away and he would run 60 yards to the endzone miraculously.


Oh, there's no doubt it's from FFB. It's really annoying because people pretend like there's no talent on that team - there is. The only times DeAngelo Williams ever got 200+ carries in a season, he broke the 1000 yard barrier, averaging 5.5 and 5.2 YPC. The only time Stewart got the ball 200+ times, he went for 1100 yards at a 5.1 YPC clip. But they insist on splitting carries between those two and Newton, and only run the ball a dozen times a game or so combined. How the hell are you going to be successful when you're refusing to use your most talented players and putting the game on your "I'm a really good QB when Steve Smith is burning every DB on the field, but if he's not open by five yards, I have problems" QB?

It's funny that people will blame his staff and yet no one will apologize about Chris Johnson and everyone hates him. BTW, he's been doing pretty well recently. And remember when he was averaging 1.1 YPC? He was averaging 1.2 yards after contact. Yeah, on average, he was getting hit behind the line every play. That's gonna f*ck up everyone's rushing. But that was all on CJ.

Also, you COULD claim that he's got to pass so much...but the Panthers have been in most of their losses. Hell, they were ahead of the Bears and if they just run the ball three times into the line and punt, the Bears' offense wasn't doing anything...but instead Newton throws a pick-six.

/also, the Panthers defense isn't really that bad - they're decidedly mediocre. They seem to either give up 27+ (four games) or below 20 (five games - the Bears game is the only one they gave up in between those numbers, and the Bears scored a DTD that game, so that's not on the D)
 
2012-11-16 11:41:52 AM

Crewmannumber6: Well, he's no Demarcus Ware, that's for sure.


OK I'm assuming there's some relevant meme or something you're referencing here...care to enlighten me?

Thanks!

////Big sports fan that hasn't watched ESPN since the mid 1990's
 
2012-11-16 11:45:46 AM

Tickle Mittens: roc6783: UNC_Samurai: roc6783: KingKauff: ***snip***
I'm genuinely surprised they aren't taking turns hand-wringing and crucifying Cam Newton.

Who? Oh you mean that guy that was breaking rookie records last year, but is looking mediocre this year due to an incompetent coaching staff? Ya, there's no story there.

Last year the Panthers faces one of the easier defensive slates. This year one of the hardest. They also faced, so far, one of the best slates of offenses. So a year of film, and massively better competition, the table was set for a rather painful regression. Cam schedule gets easier from here on out (I think, not 100% sure) so we might forecast some "After struggling early, Cam gets it" stories. Not that what I mention is the only factor, just one of many that gets overlooked.


So I just Poe's Lawed myself. I haven't checked the rulebook lately, but does that mean I should dial it back or crank that shiat to 11?
 
2012-11-16 11:53:21 AM

IAmRight: Oh, there's no doubt it's from FFB. It's really annoying because people pretend like there's no talent on that team - there is. The only times DeAngelo Williams ever got 200+ carries in a season, he broke the 1000 yard barrier, averaging 5.5 and 5.2 YPC. The only time Stewart got the ball 200+ times, he went for 1100 yards at a 5.1 YPC clip. But they insist on splitting carries between those two and Newton, and only run the ball a dozen times a game or so combined. How the hell are you going to be successful when you're refusing to use your most talented players and putting the game on your "I'm a really good QB when Steve Smith is burning every DB on the field, but if he's not open by five yards, I have problems" QB?


Yeah, I've always resorted to DeAnglo and JS for quick fill-ins at RB. I have no clue why, to this day, neither is used consistently. I didn't think JS would convert well to the NFL but happy he proved me wrong. And yeah, I didn't mean the defense was awful but it looks to be below average in almost every category. Their last few drafts have been underwhelming, especially a wasted first round pick on Clausen. I'm not a professional analyst here, but who in their right mind thought that was going to work out. Looks like they have pieces in place to be good if they build a defense and Cam actually learns.
 
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