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(Cracked)   Why the 'Anti-Obama States Secede' Story Is a Lie   (cracked.com) divider line 207
    More: Obvious, Obama States, obama  
•       •       •

21767 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2012 at 9:33 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



207 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-16 09:36:09 AM
Oooh, insta green!


/not subby
 
2012-11-16 09:36:25 AM
All I know is that Whitehouse.gov is now Yahoo Answers.

that is all.
 
2012-11-16 09:36:30 AM
I still like the idea of Austin being like West Berlin.
 
2012-11-16 09:37:39 AM
Let me wipe the shocked look off my face :|
.
.
.
.
.
.
There we go :|
 
2012-11-16 09:37:55 AM
When the motorcycle "judge, jury, executioner" jobs get created, I'm applying.
 
2012-11-16 09:38:19 AM
Your blog doesn't suck, Cracked!
 
2012-11-16 09:39:06 AM
Can't see Cracked at work. A little help?
 
2012-11-16 09:39:53 AM
Did I - did I click on the wrong tab again?
 
2012-11-16 09:40:38 AM
Only the idiots with 3 brain cells that post on the Politics tab ever believed it.
 
2012-11-16 09:41:06 AM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Can't see Cracked at work. A little help?


Basically put: we have no idea who is signing these things, really, and even if we did, equally ludicrous petitions are popping up with just as much support.

None of this is of course stopping the media from reporting on it like it's the Mayan apocalypse.

So: basically what you already knew, in an article.
 
2012-11-16 09:41:36 AM
Awww...not time for Lord Humongous yet? I was promised end times, dammit!
 
2012-11-16 09:41:51 AM

El Freak: Only the idiots with 3 brain cells that post on the Politics tab ever believed it.


...but you repeat yourself.
 
2012-11-16 09:41:51 AM

21-37-42: When the motorcycle "judge, jury, executioner" jobs get created, I'm applying.


You want to be Judge Judy and executioner? D=
 
2012-11-16 09:43:45 AM
So I guess my petition to declare war on Saskatchewan will not be taken seriously.
 
2012-11-16 09:43:56 AM

SkunkWerks: DROxINxTHExWIND: Can't see Cracked at work. A little help?

Basically put: we have no idea who is signing these things, really, and even if we did, equally ludicrous petitions are popping up with just as much support.

None of this is of course stopping the media from reporting on it like it's the Mayan apocalypse.

So: basically what you already knew, in an article.


Great. Thanks.

Yeah, I heard some clown on CNN exclaim, "There are almost 100,00 signatures on the Texas petition!" Then, someone with a more level head calmly reminded him that there are 26 MILLION people living there.
 
2012-11-16 09:44:18 AM
Establish new legal system of motorcycle riding "Judges" who serve as police, judge, jury, and executioner all in one.  

This is a petition to dissolve the current legal system and replace it with a single Hall of Justice, run by Judges; motorcycle-riding law officers who act as police, judge, jury, and executioner.

Created: Nov 13, 2012

Issues: Criminal Justice and Law Enforcement
 

only 23,348 to go
 
2012-11-16 09:46:26 AM
I just wonder how many times Heywood Jablowme and Stu Pedasso signed those petitions.
 
2012-11-16 09:46:41 AM
Anti-Obama states? All fifty eight states have now petitioned.
 
2012-11-16 09:48:01 AM
My favorite petition. It concerns Fark.

Link
 
2012-11-16 09:48:13 AM
Obama had them take down the petition to let people punch Grover Norquist in the dick. That one was near 25,000 signatures before it got pulled.

Obama hates fun.

www.anti-christ.com
 
2012-11-16 09:48:16 AM
Is this really a thing that needed to be 'debunked'?
Don't we all know that anyone can post anything they want on the internet and the vast majority of it has no bearing on reality?

Can't you just write: "supposed 'news' sites are 'reporting' on things morons and trolls posted online as if it mattered. el oh el."
And then get back to writing about little-known serial killers or urban legends or things-most-likely-to-kill-you-when-you're-drunk?
 
2012-11-16 09:48:42 AM

Nilatir: I still like the idea of Austin being like West Berlin.


Given what I've heard about Austin, I'm fairly certain that the rest of Texas would be happy to grant their wish in the case of secession.

It will be interesting to see if any of the secession talk actually gain traction. There are people who are quite serious about it and it isn't just talk to them, but they would need to be in positions of power at the state level to make it happen.
 
2012-11-16 09:48:44 AM

SkunkWerks: DROxINxTHExWIND: Can't see Cracked at work. A little help?

Basically put: we have no idea who is signing these things, really, and even if we did, equally ludicrous petitions are popping up with just as much support.

None of this is of course stopping the media from reporting on it like it's the Mayan apocalypse.

So: basically what you already knew, in an article.


You forgot the most important part: Post apocaliptic world from the future, today (new window).
 
2012-11-16 09:50:47 AM

Nilatir: I still like the idea of Austin being like West Berlin.


I'm enamored of the potential for Ahmadinejad declaring, 'Tear down this wall,' to TX President Perry.
 
2012-11-16 09:51:33 AM
You know what's weird, my dad came in the other day to tell me that all 50 states had one, even our own Liberal BastionTM Massachusetts. This led to a discussion of whether it would actually be possible if this succeeded.

I'm still not sure if he took it seriously and was with glee that the entire country despises Obama or knows it's a joke and just was having some philosophical fun with me about it all...

/I think this election has brought me closer to my father
//while also having me distance from him more at the same time
///and my mother is a bleeding heart democrat. I don't understand my family
 
2012-11-16 09:53:14 AM
Well it is a lie that these petitions are going to have any states secede. It is not a lie that there are people in red states that started these petitions after the election.
 
2012-11-16 09:53:44 AM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Can't see Cracked at work. A little help?


The story was a lie because it was obviously just farking stupid that the media decided to run with. Anyone who thought that story was worth a damn probably has mittens pinned to their jacket.
 
2012-11-16 09:54:41 AM
Judge Dredd FTW!

Best part was when the claim was that there's 60,000 signatures.. while Obama won with a lead of 3.5 million votes. So, assuming the lie were real, and that no signature is repeated on the other petitions, if you were to give both groups equal airtime in an hour time slot, you'd hear whining for exactly one minute, and then just a hair under fifty-nine minutes of folks laughing at them.
 
2012-11-16 09:54:43 AM

soj4life: Well it is a lie that these petitions are going to have any states secede. It is not a lie that there are people in red states that started these petitions after the election.


Were they in red states?

I'm hearing a lot of state petitions are being signed by out of state individuals.

Again, I'm telling you: Whitehouse.gov is now Yahoo Answers.
 
2012-11-16 09:55:21 AM
Forget secession, let's just kick the worst of the red states out of the union. We're better off without them.
 
2012-11-16 09:56:01 AM
I hope this stupid trend blows over soon. Outlier and trollolol nonsense status notwithstanding, I think all this gnashing of teeth is really starting to get to me spiritually. My in-laws seem to have stopped bringing it up (they are both very disappointed in Obama's victory) but I'm very close to them and the tension is a burden.

It is making me sad. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
 
2012-11-16 09:57:05 AM

SkunkWerks: All I know is that Whitehouse.gov is now Yahoo Answers.

that is all.


How is unnion formed
how is unnion formed
How states get saceeded?

They need to do way instain secessionists> who leave their unnion. because this unnion can't frigth back? It was on the politics tab this mroing. A freeper in ar who had sign his three petitions. they are taking the three petitions back to whitehouse.gov to lady to rest my pary are with the republicans who lost his elechthion; i am truly sorry for your lots
 
2012-11-16 09:57:11 AM
There has never been any doubt that liberals both started and supported these idiotic petitions. Even though they won the election, they are still so incredibly insecure with their fragile, broken ideology that they have to resort to childish tactics such as these.

The conservatives out there, however, are in fact going to be breaking off a nice large chunk of payback, though it most certainly will not be in the form of secession. It will be in the form of job discrimination. Why would I ever possibly hire or promote someone who is out there supporting a party dead set on destroying my business? It is not going to happen. We must make liberals second class citizens in the job market. They made their choices and those choices must have consequences. We must hold these freeloaders to account.
 
2012-11-16 09:57:25 AM

SkunkWerks: DROxINxTHExWIND: Can't see Cracked at work. A little help?

Basically put: we have no idea who is signing these things, really, and even if we did, equally ludicrous petitions are popping up with just as much support.

None of this is of course stopping the media from reporting on it like it's the Mayan apocalypse.

So: basically what you already knew, in an article.


So instead of the media telling us this is not news, Cracked is letting us know what the media is telling us is news is really not news. Cracked. The same site that gives us seven reasons why Bugs Bunny is sexy when he dresses like a woman. Cracked becomes more trustworthy than the media? Crazy pills.
 
2012-11-16 09:57:49 AM
It's cracked...can i take this seriously?
/did i just div by zero?
 
2012-11-16 09:58:06 AM

hdhale: Nilatir: I still like the idea of Austin being like West Berlin.

Given what I've heard about Austin, I'm fairly certain that the rest of Texas would be happy to grant their wish in the case of secession.

It will be interesting stupid to see if any of the secession talk actually gain traction. There are people who are quite serious about it and it isn't just talk to them, but and they are would need to be in positions of power at the state level to make it happen.


Guess what, Texas? You don't have enough idiots even in YOUR legislature to pass a bill of secession. And if you did, assuming your governor was stupid enough to sign it, your state supreme court would strike it down in about half a second. And even if the whole state gummint agreed they wanted to secede, the FBI would arrest your "leaders" and charge them with treason and sedition.

It ain't 1861, folks, with federal power in the South consisting of a few scattered forts and courthouses. The question of whether secession is constitutional was settled a LOONG time ago, first on the battlefield and later in the courts. It ain't.
 
2012-11-16 09:59:19 AM
 
2012-11-16 09:59:28 AM

fruitloop: Cracked becomes more trustworthy than the media?


Welcome to the early 2000's.

It's not a bad article, mind you. It's just not exactly hard to come to this conclusion at the moment either.
 
2012-11-16 09:59:53 AM
No one likes facts getting in the way of their little political pissing contest
 
2012-11-16 10:00:12 AM

WhoopAssWayne: There has never been any doubt that liberals both started and supported these idiotic petitions. Even though they won the election, they are still so incredibly insecure with their fragile, broken ideology that they have to resort to childish tactics such as these.

The conservatives out there, however, are in fact going to be breaking off a nice large chunk of payback, though it most certainly will not be in the form of secession. It will be in the form of job discrimination. Why would I ever possibly hire or promote someone who is out there supporting a party dead set on destroying my business? It is not going to happen. We must make liberals second class citizens in the job market. They made their choices and those choices must have consequences. We must hold these freeloaders to account.


You trying too hard son.
 
2012-11-16 10:00:51 AM
Secession will not happen soon, but it will happen. It's apparently a shocking idea to you now but you will get used to it.

You got used to $4 gas, 8-10% unemployment, and open-season on our embassies very quickly, didn't you?

Losing a few states that you never liked anyway is not going to break your stride.
 
2012-11-16 10:01:45 AM
On one hand I think that the folks signing the petition are ignorant racist tea baggers that should be stripped of their citizenship out of spite for claiming to be more patriotic than thou for 4 years. On the other hand that is a terrible precedent to set in case an actual tyrannical party got into power.
 
2012-11-16 10:02:05 AM

Sudlow: My favorite petition. It concerns Fark.

Link


I am now the 1000th signature :D
 
2012-11-16 10:02:42 AM

somedude210: You know what's weird, my dad came in the other day to tell me that all 50 states had one, even our own Liberal BastionTM Massachusetts. This led to a discussion of whether it would actually be possible if this succeeded.


All states have a petition. The problem is that, a few have already passed the threshold # to get a ballot prop. Although unlikely, if 1/10 of the signatures that Texas has are validated, it could end up on the ballot.

I doubt 50.1% would vote to secede, but stranger things have happened.

It would be a mess, a pretty big mess.
 
2012-11-16 10:03:29 AM

Pantubo: Secession will not happen soon, but it will happen. It's apparently a shocking idea to you now but you will get used to it.

You got used to $4 gas, 8-10% unemployment, and open-season on our embassies very quickly, didn't you?

Losing a few states that you never liked anyway is not going to break your stride.


The stupid gives Abraham Lincoln a sadz.

img7.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-16 10:04:42 AM
But it's fun to point and laugh.
 
2012-11-16 10:05:14 AM

Pantubo: Secession will not happen soon, but it will happen.


No.
 
2012-11-16 10:06:42 AM

El Freak: Only the idiots with 3 brain cells that post on the Politics tab ever believed it.


nuff said
 
2012-11-16 10:06:51 AM

FloydA: SkunkWerks: All I know is that Whitehouse.gov is now Yahoo Answers.

that is all.

How is unnion formed
how is unnion formed
How states get saceeded?

They need to do way instain secessionists> who leave their unnion. because this unnion can't frigth back? It was on the politics tab this mroing. A freeper in ar who had sign his three petitions. they are taking the three petitions back to whitehouse.gov to lady to rest my pary are with the republicans who lost his elechthion; i am truly sorry for your lots


Are you ok? You seem to be having a stroke or something by the way you are typing.
 
2012-11-16 10:07:35 AM
I signed the petition for Texas. Alabama and Utah too.

/ok, I didn't, but the just the fact that I could shows that they're not worth the internet they're printed on
 
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