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(Wonkette)   Genius Alabama fella starts secession petition because city officials shut down his ladies-naked-boobies carwash (Warning: pic is Not safe for work)   (wonkette.com ) divider line 137
    More: Cool, Alabama, car washes, car wash, city managers, fascists, working poor, Derrick Belcher, petitions  
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33783 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2012 at 6:10 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



137 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-15 05:59:38 PM  
bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron.
 
2012-11-15 06:02:58 PM  
I dunno, I think this guy has a case.
 
2012-11-15 06:04:20 PM  

Aarontology: I dunno, I think this guy has a case.


I agree. i support this cause.
 
2012-11-15 06:07:29 PM  
i786.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-15 06:13:46 PM  
This is the only secession movement I can get behind.
 
2012-11-15 06:14:15 PM  
As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".
 
2012-11-15 06:14:46 PM  
I'm sympathetic, but I'd have to see the boobies to properly judge the legality of that.
 
2012-11-15 06:15:29 PM  
I suspect his Cadillac may have one wheel in the ditch, and one on the track.
 
2012-11-15 06:16:01 PM  
Oh, and...thanks, Obama!
 
2012-11-15 06:16:42 PM  

costermonger: As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".


I don't know about that. Sure, "because Obama" is a stupid farking reason for secession, but at least it's an issue secession would actually solve. No matter if Alabama's in the USA, the CSA, or the UCAS, the city council are still going to be the same people.
 
2012-11-15 06:16:53 PM  
citizented.com

/stripper thread
 
2012-11-15 06:17:04 PM  
I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.
 
2012-11-15 06:17:10 PM  
He has a point. Any country that forbids naked ladies is just not America anymore....
 
2012-11-15 06:17:26 PM  
That article was more poorly-written than the petition.
 
2012-11-15 06:18:16 PM  
so this is what I takes for a united Fark? Never saw it coming.
 
2012-11-15 06:19:34 PM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: so this is what I takes for a united Fark? Never saw it coming.


If Romney had only run on the "Naked boobies, all the time!" platform, Obama would be back on the street.
 
2012-11-15 06:20:59 PM  

maxheck: I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.


Shut up and take my money!
 
2012-11-15 06:21:46 PM  
I absolutely love all this secession business. If every single Red State secedes, the remaining US will still have the world's largest economy, still almost doubling China's. The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany. Good luck with that one, guys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_by_GDP
 
2012-11-15 06:22:46 PM  

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: That article was more poorly-written than the petition.


And not funny at all. Surely we can make fun of the lowest common denominator without actually writing like them, right?
 
2012-11-15 06:22:52 PM  
I have never seen those first three words of the headline in a row before.
 
2012-11-15 06:23:26 PM  
Came for the Homer Simpson country pic.

leaving with a sad.
 
2012-11-15 06:24:25 PM  

jso2897: I suspect his Cadillac may have one wheel in the ditch, and one on the track.


Swing low down in Alabama.
 
2012-11-15 06:24:44 PM  
The funny thing is, it was probably his bible thumping co-conservatives that got him shut down for obscenity.
 
2012-11-15 06:25:15 PM  
Obongos strikes again.
 
2012-11-15 06:25:33 PM  
was obama ever on the street?
 
2012-11-15 06:25:49 PM  

costermonger: As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".


Except he's blaming 0bama for Mobile, Alabama's city officials. That's double the stupid.
 
2012-11-15 06:26:06 PM  

AcneVulgaris: The funny thing is, it was probably his bible thumping co-conservatives that got him shut down for obscenity.


I would assume you're right. I'd also assume this guy's IQ is firmly in the double digits.
 
2012-11-15 06:27:02 PM  
Topless car wash?!?!

...oh, staffed by women from Alabama.

Hmmph.
 
2012-11-15 06:28:22 PM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-11-15 06:28:44 PM  
I liked the picture, but couldn't understand the article.
 
2012-11-15 06:28:51 PM  
But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.
 
2012-11-15 06:29:34 PM  

caramba421: The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany.


That's much bigger than I would have guessed.
 
2012-11-15 06:29:41 PM  

Delawheredad: This is the only secession movement I can get behind.


Nah, no point(s) in being behind, this is something we all need to be ahead of.
 
2012-11-15 06:30:06 PM  

traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.


Not really. Obama's Time Machine makes it back to 2001 easily.
 
2012-11-15 06:31:10 PM  

JasonThomasX: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 282x180]


thank you!!!1111
 
2012-11-15 06:31:19 PM  
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2012-11-15 06:32:02 PM  
So... they took away his jerb in 2001. During Dubya's illegitimate reign.
And he starts a petition _now_?
Someone should charge these idiots for every petition they start.
 
2012-11-15 06:32:28 PM  

St_Francis_P: traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.

Not really. Obama's Time Machine makes it back to 2001 easily.


Time machine? Eh, more like Kenyan Voodoo Magic.
 
2012-11-15 06:34:04 PM  

St_Francis_P: I'm sympathetic, but I'd have to see the boobies to properly judge the legality of that.


It said "bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron."
 
2012-11-15 06:34:17 PM  

St_Francis_P: traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.

Not really. Obama's Time Machine makes it back to 2001 easily.


Obama's time machine specializes in the Bush years.
 
2012-11-15 06:36:08 PM  
The town that I went to college in had nothing in the form of entertainment, really; but it was the town that had the highest per-capita amount of strip clubs throughout the whole State. So, when my friends and I discovered that there was a "Topless Car Wash" we decided we had to go check it out. Turns out it was just a regular strip club that washed your car while you were inside the building... no boobies washing the windows. We were incredibly disappointed, even while being a group of penis-loving straight metal chicks.
 
2012-11-15 06:36:09 PM  

Misch: St_Francis_P: I'm sympathetic, but I'd have to see the boobies to properly judge the legality of that.

It said "bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron."


Ba bum tsssh...
 
2012-11-15 06:37:01 PM  

St_Francis_P: AcneVulgaris: The funny thing is, it was probably his bible thumping co-conservatives that got him shut down for obscenity.

I would assume you're right. I'd also assume this guy's IQ is firmly in the double digits.


Let us not speak of his dentition or lineage.
 
2012-11-15 06:38:41 PM  
i question the mind of one who considers breasts to be obscene. everything of the body is 100% natural. breasts aren't obscene, some peoples minds are obscene. they should have to stand up and explain their minds. i suspect they are in need of psychological counseling. they are deeply damaged people who deserve our help and sympathy.
 
2012-11-15 06:38:57 PM  

a ***NSFW*** warning would have been nice, thanks!

 
2012-11-15 06:40:55 PM  
I think the problem is more "Alabama" than "Obama," fella.
 
2012-11-15 06:41:25 PM  
No pictures, only a blurry screenshot from an adult video. I is disappoint.

/ as long as you cannot see the goodies from the outside, what is the problem with the carwash?
// dnrtfa
 
2012-11-15 06:41:25 PM  
Derrick Belcher, 45, is a truck driving, knife collecting former owner of a topless car wash who describes himself as "an absolute Libertarian."

media.al.com

That is a rough, rough 45 years there.
 
2012-11-15 06:41:34 PM  
Ok...easy fix. He just needs to tweak his petition a bit. Instead of "Alabama secede from the US," it should read "I secede from Mobile."

Done and done.
 
2012-11-15 06:42:50 PM  
He wants to secede now because he was arrested 11 years ago? Yeah, bullshiat. He's pissed the President is black.
 
2012-11-15 06:43:07 PM  

StopLurkListen: a ***NSFW*** warning would have been nice, thanks!


Sorry you work for puritans, but wasn't the "naked boobies carwash" in the headline enough warning?

Besides, that was SFW, the woman in the picture is wearing a thong. I think.
 
2012-11-15 06:46:11 PM  

Mr. Eugenides: StopLurkListen: a ***NSFW*** warning would have been nice, thanks!

Sorry you work for puritans, but wasn't the "naked boobies carwash" in the headline enough warning?

Besides, that was SFW, the woman in the picture is wearing a thong. I think.


1) You don't generally expect articles to have a gratuitous "what a naked person doing this may look like" pic.
2) Looked nude enough for me when I closed the tab. HR generally has a strict sense of "inappropriate" to satisfy the lowest-common-denominator.

Please add a "May be NSFW" for the viewers who haven't shown up yet.
 
2012-11-15 06:46:45 PM  

big_pth: bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron.


To add, their #1 football team beak got spanked over the weekend. The burn, it hurts!
 
2012-11-15 06:47:12 PM  
He was quoted saying: "I'm gonna make my own country, with blackjack and hookers!".
 
2012-11-15 06:51:00 PM  
As a resident and native of Mobile I am outraged that my right to have bare soapy breasts rubbed all over my windshield is being stripped away from me!
Still, I don't think he really thought this through very well.

/the south will rise again! derp!
 
2012-11-15 06:55:05 PM  

CygnusDarius: He was quoted saying: "I'm gonna make my own country, with blackjack and hookers!".


Okay, maybe not blackjack...LOL
 
2012-11-15 06:58:07 PM  
American smart.
 
2012-11-15 06:58:12 PM  
Al!

Shut up, Peg! I'm going to Alabama to fight for the Republican Revolution.

But Al! We're Democrats.

You're a Democrat, Peg. I'm a fan of Nekkid Boobies.
 
2012-11-15 06:58:34 PM  

maxheck: I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.


Not quite "no pants fry cook" or "topless machine shop" dangerous but walking a bit close to the line.

/Points for the name though
 
2012-11-15 07:01:43 PM  

El Pachuco: Derrick Belcher, 45, is a truck driving, knife collecting former owner of a topless car wash who describes himself as "an absolute Libertarian."

[media.al.com image 380x239]

That is a rough, rough 45 years there.


An "absolute libertarian" using the internet in a library.
 
2012-11-15 07:02:15 PM  
With the Bentfin Boomer Boys on Little Ole New Alabama.
 
2012-11-15 07:02:57 PM  

HeartBurnKid: I don't know about that. Sure, "because Obama" is a stupid farking reason for secession, but at least it's an issue secession would actually solve. No matter if Alabama's in the USA, the CSA, or the UCAS, the city council are still going to be the same people.


Hickory-smoked: Except he's blaming 0bama for Mobile, Alabama's city officials. That's double the stupid.


Oh way to go guys, now I had to go RTFA.

This petition thing the White House has going seems to be a glorious success if the goal was to allow idiots to self-identify.
 
2012-11-15 07:03:56 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-15 07:08:50 PM  
If you hover over the picture the subcaption says "Gross".

/article author must be gay
/NTTAWWT
 
2012-11-15 07:09:43 PM  
regretfulmorning.com
 
2012-11-15 07:11:18 PM  
ProfessorOhki:

maxheck: I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.

Not quite "no pants fry cook" or "topless machine shop" dangerous but walking a bit close to the line.

/Points for the name though


The screaming involved in either endeavor would probably kill any attraction. I even pointed out to the ex... "Um, you know that motor oil is hot as fark if you've warmed the engine, right?"

Ok, maybe that would *enhance* it.
 
2012-11-15 07:14:01 PM  
TOPLESS CAR THREAD!
 
2012-11-15 07:14:36 PM  
Well, the picture was tossed and I didn't hit 'Preview' first...

Soooooo, I will be seeing myself out...thanks.
 
2012-11-15 07:18:24 PM  

Hobodeluxe: [regretfulmorning.com image 600x431]


Nice rims.
 
2012-11-15 07:22:55 PM  
Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.
 
2012-11-15 07:23:00 PM  

KrispyKritter: i question the mind of one who considers breasts to be obscene. everything of the body is 100% natural. breasts aren't obscene, some peoples minds are obscene. they should have to stand up and explain their minds. i suspect they are in need of psychological counseling. they are deeply damaged people who deserve our help and sympathy.


Oh really? Then why is it against the law in every state to be nude in public? (barring nudist resorts, strip clubs, etc.)
 
2012-11-15 07:23:52 PM  

El Pachuco: Derrick Belcher, 45, is a truck driving, knife collecting former owner of a topless car wash who describes himself as "an absolute Libertarian."

[media.al.com image 380x239]

That is a rough, rough 45 years there.


Holy crap. I'm 45. That guy is my age? Jesus.

I'm not about to post a picture for comparison, but let's just say I still occasionally get carded, and that guy looks like he's 65.

Genetics is weird, man. But I guess i have to be happy with the hand I've been dealt.
 
2012-11-15 07:24:43 PM  

Testiclaw: TOPLESS CAR THREAD!


crow202.org
I'm unsure how taking this car's top off would improve anything.

I'm sure this would be relevant to Farkers' interests, though (possibly NSFW.)
 
2012-11-15 07:25:42 PM  

Testiclaw: TOPLESS CAR THREAD!


Ooh, yeah, baby!
www.allfordmustangs.com
 
2012-11-15 07:28:32 PM  
Maybe it's been said already, I haven't been reading all the secession threads; the people who sign these petitions should be identified publicly so we KNOW WHO THEY ARE.

There should be a public database where an employer, SSA employees or state unemployment workers can enter someone's name, address and SSN to find out if they have signed this shiat.

I don't like that the whitehouse.gov petition page only provides first name, last initial if you're going to put your name on something so stupid, have the balls to stand up and say it.
 
2012-11-15 07:29:41 PM  

pup.socket: No pictures, only a blurry screenshot from an adult video. I is disappoint.

From what I know of 1970s cinema, that's a still from Bikini Car Wash. (Also because it says so in the data.)
 
2012-11-15 07:29:58 PM  

Big Man On Campus: Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.


He's complaining about being charged with obscenity in 2001. 11 years ago. So........
 
2012-11-15 07:32:22 PM  
So wait, I thought women had the right to determine what they wanted to do with their own bodies. Unless, of course, what they want to do is make money, I suppose.
 
2012-11-15 07:33:05 PM  

Big Man On Campus: Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.


There's no Federal law against nudity, and in general nudity on Federal lands (beaches, for instance) results in a request from the park ranger to move to a less conspicuous place, not an arrest.

Also, I'm in San Francisco, and there are nude people in public often. San Francisco is very tolerant of public nudity, probably because of it's Republican Freedom Values.
 
2012-11-15 07:35:54 PM  

stu1-1: Anyone else get this warning when clicking on the comments for this thread?

[img132.imageshack.us image 750x500]


Nope. Maybe because I use adblock. It might be from a malicious ad.
 
2012-11-15 07:45:24 PM  

Jaws_Victim: Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: That article was more poorly-written than the petition.

And not funny at all. Surely we can make fun of the lowest common denominator without actually writing like them, right?


Low hanging fruit, indeed. I refer to both the idiot being written about and the writer.

The question I have is a bit more subtle:

"Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they..."

So..... did the writer mindlessly repeat a stupid meme from Fark? Or did Fark Libs catch it from Wonkette? Curious minds want to know...
 
2012-11-15 07:46:13 PM  
i1162.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-15 07:46:56 PM  
I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!
 
2012-11-15 07:48:17 PM  

bookman: "Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they..."


What a US Merkin might look like:

profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-11-15 07:48:36 PM  

cougs4ever: I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!


i1162.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-15 07:49:29 PM  
i.imgur.com

Slavery is never coming back. Sounds like an excellent time to do shiat better than the federal government can.

/Waits for content to fill in the Barack Obama Vampire Hunter movie.
 
2012-11-15 07:52:16 PM  

bmihura: KrispyKritter: i question the mind of one who considers breasts to be obscene. everything of the body is 100% natural. breasts aren't obscene, some peoples minds are obscene. they should have to stand up and explain their minds. i suspect they are in need of psychological counseling. they are deeply damaged people who deserve our help and sympathy.

Oh really? Then why is it against the law in every state to be nude in public? (barring nudist resorts, strip clubs, etc.)


Because our country was founded by the most uptight people ever on the face of the Earth, the Puritans. Remember, they fled England because it was way too liberal...
 
2012-11-15 07:58:20 PM  

bmihura: Oh really? Then why is it against the law in every state to be nude in public? (barring nudist resorts, strip clubs, etc.)


because it isn't. In fact, I'd venture a guess that it is against state law in very few states. And several states have officially struck down (judicially) even local laws which make it illegal for a woman to be topless but a man not. NY, for instance. Heck, even the federal capital can't outlaw toplessness.

Now, skivies on the other hand...
 
2012-11-15 08:01:22 PM  

mrshowrules: Hobodeluxe: [regretfulmorning.com image 600x431]

Nice rims.


After hours of intense study, I noticed there are rims in that photo and determined that they are stock Viper rims.
 
2012-11-15 08:04:27 PM  

Whiskey Pete: cougs4ever: I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!

[i1162.photobucket.com image 193x261]


Is that . . . is that . . . oh god, no, is that a nip slip?
 
2012-11-15 08:07:03 PM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: Whiskey Pete: cougs4ever: I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!

[i1162.photobucket.com image 193x261]

Is that . . . is that . . . oh god, no, is that a nip slip?


Nope. Just a vein.
 
2012-11-15 08:10:04 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: mrshowrules: Hobodeluxe: [regretfulmorning.com image 600x431]

Nice rims.

After hours of intense study, I noticed there are rims in that photo and determined that they are stock Viper rims.


I better check that photo again to confirm.
 
2012-11-15 08:11:52 PM  

Whiskey Pete: cougs4ever: I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!

[i1162.photobucket.com image 193x261]


Why the fark would you farking do something as farked as that? fark!
 
2012-11-15 08:15:47 PM  
That is so wrong!!!!

Need some eye bleach, STAT
 
2012-11-15 08:16:23 PM  
Is anyone else bothered that the author did not invest the ten seconds necessary to get the name of his hometown correct?

It is not Chuncula.

The correct spelling is Chunchula.
 
2012-11-15 08:17:02 PM  

mrshowrules: IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: mrshowrules: Hobodeluxe: [regretfulmorning.com image 600x431]

Nice rims.

After hours of intense study, I noticed there are rims in that photo and determined that they are stock Viper rims.

I better check that photo again to confirm.


Please...by all means..better to have another set of eyes confirm my findings. I'll check again as well.
 
2012-11-15 08:23:29 PM  
what a NSFW car wash might look like
 
2012-11-15 08:26:14 PM  

SilentStrider: Aarontology: I dunno, I think this guy has a case.

I agree. i support this cause.


I don't have a problem with this.
 
2012-11-15 08:44:51 PM  
i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-11-15 08:47:39 PM  

maxheck: I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.


How about a wrecking yard called Pull Your Part?
 
2012-11-15 08:53:00 PM  
busterjames: From what I know of 1970s cinema, that's a still from Bikini Car Wash. (Also because it says so in the data.)

1990's. I recognized it from Skinemax. Damn that just took me back.
 
2012-11-15 09:01:54 PM  

StopLurkListen: Big Man On Campus: Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.

There's no Federal law against nudity, and in general nudity on Federal lands (beaches, for instance) results in a request from the park ranger to move to a less conspicuous place, not an arrest.

Also, I'm in San Francisco, and there are nude people in public often. San Francisco is very tolerant of public nudity, probably because of it's Republican Freedom Values.


It's not nudity that's the problem it's modesty because quite frankly, some of you should never be nude in public. Ever.
 
2012-11-15 09:11:13 PM  

danceswithcrows: Testiclaw: TOPLESS CAR THREAD!


I'm unsure how taking this car's top off would improve anything.

I'm sure this would be relevant to Farkers' interests, though (possibly NSFW.)


Most certainly NSFW, but thanks I especially like the Cammy cosplay.
 
2012-11-15 09:13:41 PM  

Big Man On Campus: Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.


You have never been to Portland...Oregon
 
2012-11-15 09:14:08 PM  
Finally, a solid reason for seceding from the Union. Teh boobies are always worth it.
 
2012-11-15 09:16:42 PM  

caramba421: I absolutely love all this secession business. If every single Red State secedes, the remaining US will still have the world's largest economy, still almost doubling China's. The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany. Good luck with that one, guys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_by_GDP


You can source your food from China then. Eat up!
 
2012-11-15 09:16:45 PM  

Wally007: bmihura: KrispyKritter: i question the mind of one who considers breasts to be obscene. everything of the body is 100% natural. breasts aren't obscene, some peoples minds are obscene. they should have to stand up and explain their minds. i suspect they are in need of psychological counseling. they are deeply damaged people who deserve our help and sympathy.

Oh really? Then why is it against the law in every state to be nude in public? (barring nudist resorts, strip clubs, etc.)

Because our country was founded by the most uptight people ever on the face of the Earth, the Puritans. Remember, they fled England because it was way too liberal...

"

The New England area was settled by the most uptight people ever on the face of the earth, but early america was much more than just that.

Also it has as far as I know been legal for women to walk around bare breasted in every place I have lived in the US, as long as it is not being done for money or sexual gratification.
 
2012-11-15 09:20:55 PM  

PluckYew: Maybe it's been said already, I haven't been reading all the secession threads; the people who sign these petitions should be identified publicly so we KNOW WHO THEY ARE.


So says a person posting on Fark using a pseudonym. *slow sarcastic clap*

What you're advocating is retaliation against people seeking redress. (Idiotic as it is in this instance.) But let's take a more immediate example: someone signing a petition to ban a discriminatory workplace practice. Openly signing that petition means that person's employer can retaliate against that person for seeking redress. (Walmart's hostile relationship with their employees comes immediately to mind. Those folks are pretty much up shiat's creek without tangible help.)

We've already seen that certain employers are quite willing to discriminate against people based on their vote (or who their employer thinks they voted for.)

My high school math teacher married his guy a while back (and good for him). He was among the first in Canada to do so when our Supreme Court ruled that the government couldn't stop folks from doing so. But because he was a teacher, the very fact that he had a guy at all was a closely guarded secret until he retired, for what should be obvious reasons. I'm bi. I'm a teacher. I don't (and won't) post publicly on this topic using my real name. Nor could I (or others like me) participate in seeking redress without the threat of misguided retaliation.

Kids who've experienced abuse (or are at risk of abuse) often need to seek redress (by various means) while carefully guarding their identities from even their parents.

So yeah, it's true that jackasses can abuse anonymity, but exposing everybody can have some seriously chilling and detrimental effects.
 
2012-11-15 09:28:00 PM  

ClintonKun: stu1-1: Anyone else get this warning when clicking on the comments for this thread?

[img132.imageshack.us image 750x500]

Nope. Maybe because I use adblock. It might be from a malicious ad.


I did, too. I reported it and got a response saying they removed the offending hotlink, whatever it was.
 
2012-11-15 09:37:20 PM  

danceswithcrows: Testiclaw: TOPLESS CAR THREAD!

[crow202.org image 462x308]
I'm unsure how taking this car's top off would improve anything.

I'm sure this would be relevant to Farkers' interests, though (possibly NSFW.)


That car looks like Guy Fieri.
 
2012-11-15 09:50:11 PM  
Naked, ladies, and boobies you say? Well now, let's just hear this fellow out.
 
2012-11-15 10:04:10 PM  
How did it happen that the New York petition was more misspelled than the Alabama or Mississippi petition:

"Allow New York to Secede from the United State Goverment peacefully and allow it to form it's own government"
 
2012-11-15 10:07:55 PM  

Fart_Machine: maxheck: I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.

How about a wrecking yard called Pull Your Part?


we have U Pull It around here
 
2012-11-15 10:15:49 PM  

OooShiny: How did it happen that the New York petition was more misspelled than the Alabama or Mississippi petition:

"Allow New York to Secede from the United State Goverment peacefully and allow it to form it's own government"


Firstly, overall I doubt that the secessionists are highly regarded members of the intellectual elite.

Secondly, I have no doubt that you can find intelligent, erudite and articulate people living in Alabama and Mississippi. You can find abject morons in New York, despite what stereotypes would have you believe.
 
2012-11-15 10:24:06 PM  

traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.


It means Obama got his DeLorean up to 88 mph.

StopLurkListen: a ***NSFW*** warning would have been nice, thanks!


She's got a thong on the bottom, her breast is blurred out.
 
2012-11-15 10:28:19 PM  
oblig... topless car wash. not suitable for well anyone...
 
2012-11-15 10:35:52 PM  

caramba421: I absolutely love all this secession business. If every single Red State secedes, the remaining US will still have the world's largest economy, still almost doubling China's. The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany. Good luck with that one, guys.


Not really though. The problem is that a huge part of the South's economy is dependent on defense spending. It's that southern non-union labor that builds our war machine, but it's the blue state economies that pay for it all. If there is a secession, the blue state coalition will move all defense manufacturing out of the south -- possibly revitalizing Detroit and the the steel belt. Meanwhile, the Confederacy will have to engage in massive deficit spending in order to maintain a military.

As much as I'd love the South to just go the fark away, I can't actually support succession. The Confederacy would rapidly turn into our own version of Pakistan. A corrupt, belligerent state with a third world economy that can only maintain order by promulgating hate of its more liberal, more powerful, more successful neighbor - hate which translate into a steady stream of terrorist acts.
 
2012-11-15 10:39:51 PM  
I liked this place. They had a great special for $50.00 they would clean you stick shift.
 
2012-11-15 10:49:10 PM  
Normally I'd laugh at the stupidity, but hey, boobies!
 
2012-11-15 11:01:59 PM  

SilentStrider: Aarontology: I dunno, I think this guy has a case.

I agree. i support this cause.


Then get down there are do some supporting!! You men are WORTHLESS!
 
2012-11-15 11:13:03 PM  

Sofa King Smart: oblig... topless car wash. not suitable for well anyone...


DAMN YOU!
 
2012-11-15 11:23:35 PM  
I recognize that movie.
That has to be Bikini Car Wash.

Oh Skinemax, you treated me well but the internet has rendered you obsolete.
 
2012-11-16 12:39:51 AM  
Damn communists! Small businessmen have enough problems without prudish killjoys taking over government.
 
2012-11-16 02:27:48 AM  

Hickory-smoked: costermonger: As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".

Except he's blaming 0bama for Mobile, Alabama's city officials. That's double the stupid.


And according to the article, his most excellent car wash in the world was shut down in 2001. I'm pretty sure Clinton wouldn't shut down a topless car wash, so I'm thinking maybe... Jimmy Carter? Yeah, I'm pretty sure Jimmy Carter did this.
 
2012-11-16 04:58:29 AM  
Look I know my state deserves all the heat and jokes it gets here and other places. It deserves every bit of it and you can throw a dart and hit an idiot or religious nut/zealot somewhere. There used to be several boobie washes in Mobile and the beach areas. I started to use one in Mobile while I was passing through once. I went by one and quickly decided there wasn't even a single boob I wanted to look at there. I also noticed they were mobile and remember wondering how the fark they pulled that off. They weren't showing up at a tourists condo and getting away with that in the parking lot. Can't imagine showing up in a neighborhood and some housewife storming out of the house screaming about the kids seeing some boobies. Anyway I really doubt that picture was taken at his business or any boobie car wash in Alabama. If it really was he wouldn't of been shut down. Lots of customers, sell some beer and bingo-tax revenue and higher business license cost. He would of been fine.Just don't operate to close to a school or a church so the kids, the virginal and the pure of heart and oh, almost forgot the uncorrupted soul, didn't accidently see a boob or the sign and all is well.
 
2012-11-16 06:13:49 AM  

danceswithcrows: Testiclaw: TOPLESS CAR THREAD!

[crow202.org image 462x308]
I'm unsure how taking this car's top off would improve anything.

I'm sure this would be relevant to Farkers' interests, though (possibly NSFW.)


Thank you so much.....
 
2012-11-16 06:39:33 AM  
Good luck getting THIS out of your head, here on FM station KGYS...
 
2012-11-16 06:39:47 AM  
One would think that in order for the secession to succeed they would have to have something of value to base their economy on. Should something like that actually happen (doubt it) the US would put heavy taxes on any products coming in from alabamistan and those businesses would leave.
 
2012-11-16 08:04:02 AM  

Big Man On Campus: Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.


Yeah, just abortion. Not marriage equality, not voter rights, not collective bargaining, not civil rights, not affirmative action, not help for the working poor, not education. Just abortion.

Besides, all those mean nothing compared to my right to see topless women.
 
2012-11-16 09:36:40 AM  
Oh Lord, whatever I done, don't let me be struck blind in the next two minutes.
 
2012-11-16 11:12:42 AM  

caramba421: I absolutely love all this secession business. If every single Red State secedes, the remaining US will still have the world's largest economy, still almost doubling China's. The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany. Good luck with that one, guys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_by_GDP


And if the US rewrites trade laws and imposes stiff tariffs on goods imported into the US from Biblestan, good luck sustaining that 4th place status.

Most of the South's industry is due to most of its people being poor and easily -- and willingly -- exploited by corporations.
 
2012-11-16 11:15:33 AM  
The girls are hot, but the carwash is in AL?

I claim file photo shenanigans.
 
2012-11-16 01:17:29 PM  

Nick Nostril: caramba421: I absolutely love all this secession business. If every single Red State secedes, the remaining US will still have the world's largest economy, still almost doubling China's. The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany. Good luck with that one, guys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_by_GDP

You can source your food from China then. Eat up!


California is the top agriculture-producing State in the Union. Thanks for playing!
 
2012-11-16 01:32:43 PM  

caramba421: Nick Nostril: caramba421: I absolutely love all this secession business. If every single Red State secedes, the remaining US will still have the world's largest economy, still almost doubling China's. The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany. Good luck with that one, guys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_by_GDP

You can source your food from China then. Eat up!

California is the top agriculture-producing State in the Union. Thanks for playing!


Well, sure. Your false liberal "math" may lead you to mistakenly believe that six of the top ten agricultural production states are blue (California, Iowa, Minnesota, Illinois, Wisconsin, and Florida). But the RomneyMath -- the kind of knowledge that comes only from your gut -- leads us to the only truth that matters. Conservatives do all the real work, and liberals just yammer on obamaphones all day. When conservatives go galt, all the liberals will starve. This must be true, because we think it's true.
 
2012-11-16 04:42:14 PM  

MooseUpNorth: PluckYew: Maybe it's been said already, I haven't been reading all the secession threads; the people who sign these petitions should be identified publicly so we KNOW WHO THEY ARE.

So says a person posting on Fark using a pseudonym. *slow sarcastic clap*

What you're advocating is retaliation against people seeking redress. (Idiotic as it is in this instance.) But let's take a more immediate example: someone signing a petition to ban a discriminatory workplace practice. Openly signing that petition means that person's employer can retaliate against that person for seeking redress. (Walmart's hostile relationship with their employees comes immediately to mind. Those folks are pretty much up shiat's creek without tangible help.)

We've already seen that certain employers are quite willing to discriminate against people based on their vote (or who their employer thinks they voted for.)

My high school math teacher married his guy a while back (and good for him). He was among the first in Canada to do so when our Supreme Court ruled that the government couldn't stop folks from doing so. But because he was a teacher, the very fact that he had a guy at all was a closely guarded secret until he retired, for what should be obvious reasons. I'm bi. I'm a teacher. I don't (and won't) post publicly on this topic using my real name. Nor could I (or others like me) participate in seeking redress without the threat of misguided retaliation.

Kids who've experienced abuse (or are at risk of abuse) often need to seek redress (by various means) while carefully guarding their identities from even their parents.

So yeah, it's true that jackasses can abuse anonymity, but exposing everybody can have some seriously chilling and detrimental effects.


Seeking redress? Where is Jeebus' name are they seeking redress? They're crying because the black man won again.

They are engaging in sedition, nothing you describe is remotely similar.

They have to put a name and location down to sign these "petitions" they aren't anonymous like Fark. I think they should be publicly identified for if nothing else, so we know they don't think things over rationally before SIGNING THEIR NAME to a crazy petition.
 
2012-11-16 05:22:16 PM  

PluckYew: They have to put a name and location down to sign these "petitions" they aren't anonymous like Fark. I think they should be publicly identified for if nothing else, so we know they don't think things over rationally before SIGNING THEIR NAME to a crazy petition.


Who, exactly, decides which petitions are too irrational?

/ You either protect them all, even the idiots, or you've created an environment where seeking redress for legitimate, sensitive issues becomes subject to whim or ideology.
 
2012-11-17 01:30:28 AM  
If getting my car washed by topless women is wrong, I do not want to be right!
 
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