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(Wonkette)   Genius Alabama fella starts secession petition because city officials shut down his ladies-naked-boobies carwash (Warning: pic is Not safe for work)   (wonkette.com) divider line 139
    More: Cool, Alabama, car washes, car wash, city managers, fascists, working poor, Derrick Belcher, petitions  
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33766 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2012 at 6:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



139 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-15 06:43:07 PM

StopLurkListen: a ***NSFW*** warning would have been nice, thanks!


Sorry you work for puritans, but wasn't the "naked boobies carwash" in the headline enough warning?

Besides, that was SFW, the woman in the picture is wearing a thong. I think.
 
2012-11-15 06:46:11 PM

Mr. Eugenides: StopLurkListen: a ***NSFW*** warning would have been nice, thanks!

Sorry you work for puritans, but wasn't the "naked boobies carwash" in the headline enough warning?

Besides, that was SFW, the woman in the picture is wearing a thong. I think.


1) You don't generally expect articles to have a gratuitous "what a naked person doing this may look like" pic.
2) Looked nude enough for me when I closed the tab. HR generally has a strict sense of "inappropriate" to satisfy the lowest-common-denominator.

Please add a "May be NSFW" for the viewers who haven't shown up yet.
 
2012-11-15 06:46:45 PM

big_pth: bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron.


To add, their #1 football team beak got spanked over the weekend. The burn, it hurts!
 
2012-11-15 06:47:12 PM
He was quoted saying: "I'm gonna make my own country, with blackjack and hookers!".
 
2012-11-15 06:51:00 PM
As a resident and native of Mobile I am outraged that my right to have bare soapy breasts rubbed all over my windshield is being stripped away from me!
Still, I don't think he really thought this through very well.

/the south will rise again! derp!
 
2012-11-15 06:55:05 PM

CygnusDarius: He was quoted saying: "I'm gonna make my own country, with blackjack and hookers!".


Okay, maybe not blackjack...LOL
 
2012-11-15 06:58:07 PM
American smart.
 
2012-11-15 06:58:12 PM
Al!

Shut up, Peg! I'm going to Alabama to fight for the Republican Revolution.

But Al! We're Democrats.

You're a Democrat, Peg. I'm a fan of Nekkid Boobies.
 
2012-11-15 06:58:34 PM

maxheck: I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.


Not quite "no pants fry cook" or "topless machine shop" dangerous but walking a bit close to the line.

/Points for the name though
 
2012-11-15 07:01:43 PM

El Pachuco: Derrick Belcher, 45, is a truck driving, knife collecting former owner of a topless car wash who describes himself as "an absolute Libertarian."

[media.al.com image 380x239]

That is a rough, rough 45 years there.


An "absolute libertarian" using the internet in a library.
 
2012-11-15 07:02:15 PM
With the Bentfin Boomer Boys on Little Ole New Alabama.
 
2012-11-15 07:02:57 PM

HeartBurnKid: I don't know about that. Sure, "because Obama" is a stupid farking reason for secession, but at least it's an issue secession would actually solve. No matter if Alabama's in the USA, the CSA, or the UCAS, the city council are still going to be the same people.


Hickory-smoked: Except he's blaming 0bama for Mobile, Alabama's city officials. That's double the stupid.


Oh way to go guys, now I had to go RTFA.

This petition thing the White House has going seems to be a glorious success if the goal was to allow idiots to self-identify.
 
2012-11-15 07:03:56 PM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-15 07:08:50 PM
If you hover over the picture the subcaption says "Gross".

/article author must be gay
/NTTAWWT
 
2012-11-15 07:09:43 PM
regretfulmorning.com
 
2012-11-15 07:11:18 PM
ProfessorOhki:

maxheck: I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.

Not quite "no pants fry cook" or "topless machine shop" dangerous but walking a bit close to the line.

/Points for the name though


The screaming involved in either endeavor would probably kill any attraction. I even pointed out to the ex... "Um, you know that motor oil is hot as fark if you've warmed the engine, right?"

Ok, maybe that would *enhance* it.
 
2012-11-15 07:14:01 PM
TOPLESS CAR THREAD!
 
2012-11-15 07:14:36 PM
Well, the picture was tossed and I didn't hit 'Preview' first...

Soooooo, I will be seeing myself out...thanks.
 
2012-11-15 07:18:24 PM

Hobodeluxe: [regretfulmorning.com image 600x431]


Nice rims.
 
2012-11-15 07:22:55 PM
Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.
 
2012-11-15 07:23:00 PM

KrispyKritter: i question the mind of one who considers breasts to be obscene. everything of the body is 100% natural. breasts aren't obscene, some peoples minds are obscene. they should have to stand up and explain their minds. i suspect they are in need of psychological counseling. they are deeply damaged people who deserve our help and sympathy.


Oh really? Then why is it against the law in every state to be nude in public? (barring nudist resorts, strip clubs, etc.)
 
2012-11-15 07:23:52 PM

El Pachuco: Derrick Belcher, 45, is a truck driving, knife collecting former owner of a topless car wash who describes himself as "an absolute Libertarian."

[media.al.com image 380x239]

That is a rough, rough 45 years there.


Holy crap. I'm 45. That guy is my age? Jesus.

I'm not about to post a picture for comparison, but let's just say I still occasionally get carded, and that guy looks like he's 65.

Genetics is weird, man. But I guess i have to be happy with the hand I've been dealt.
 
2012-11-15 07:24:43 PM

Testiclaw: TOPLESS CAR THREAD!


crow202.org
I'm unsure how taking this car's top off would improve anything.

I'm sure this would be relevant to Farkers' interests, though (possibly NSFW.)
 
2012-11-15 07:25:42 PM

Testiclaw: TOPLESS CAR THREAD!


Ooh, yeah, baby!
www.allfordmustangs.com
 
2012-11-15 07:28:32 PM
Maybe it's been said already, I haven't been reading all the secession threads; the people who sign these petitions should be identified publicly so we KNOW WHO THEY ARE.

There should be a public database where an employer, SSA employees or state unemployment workers can enter someone's name, address and SSN to find out if they have signed this shiat.

I don't like that the whitehouse.gov petition page only provides first name, last initial if you're going to put your name on something so stupid, have the balls to stand up and say it.
 
2012-11-15 07:29:41 PM

pup.socket: No pictures, only a blurry screenshot from an adult video. I is disappoint.

From what I know of 1970s cinema, that's a still from Bikini Car Wash. (Also because it says so in the data.)
 
2012-11-15 07:29:58 PM

Big Man On Campus: Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.


He's complaining about being charged with obscenity in 2001. 11 years ago. So........
 
2012-11-15 07:32:22 PM
So wait, I thought women had the right to determine what they wanted to do with their own bodies. Unless, of course, what they want to do is make money, I suppose.
 
2012-11-15 07:33:05 PM

Big Man On Campus: Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.


There's no Federal law against nudity, and in general nudity on Federal lands (beaches, for instance) results in a request from the park ranger to move to a less conspicuous place, not an arrest.

Also, I'm in San Francisco, and there are nude people in public often. San Francisco is very tolerant of public nudity, probably because of it's Republican Freedom Values.
 
2012-11-15 07:35:54 PM

stu1-1: Anyone else get this warning when clicking on the comments for this thread?

[img132.imageshack.us image 750x500]


Nope. Maybe because I use adblock. It might be from a malicious ad.
 
2012-11-15 07:45:24 PM

Jaws_Victim: Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: That article was more poorly-written than the petition.

And not funny at all. Surely we can make fun of the lowest common denominator without actually writing like them, right?


Low hanging fruit, indeed. I refer to both the idiot being written about and the writer.

The question I have is a bit more subtle:

"Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they..."

So..... did the writer mindlessly repeat a stupid meme from Fark? Or did Fark Libs catch it from Wonkette? Curious minds want to know...
 
2012-11-15 07:46:13 PM
i1162.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-15 07:46:56 PM
I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!
 
2012-11-15 07:48:17 PM

bookman: "Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they..."


What a US Merkin might look like:

profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-11-15 07:48:36 PM

cougs4ever: I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!


i1162.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-15 07:49:29 PM
i.imgur.com

Slavery is never coming back. Sounds like an excellent time to do shiat better than the federal government can.

/Waits for content to fill in the Barack Obama Vampire Hunter movie.
 
2012-11-15 07:52:16 PM

bmihura: KrispyKritter: i question the mind of one who considers breasts to be obscene. everything of the body is 100% natural. breasts aren't obscene, some peoples minds are obscene. they should have to stand up and explain their minds. i suspect they are in need of psychological counseling. they are deeply damaged people who deserve our help and sympathy.

Oh really? Then why is it against the law in every state to be nude in public? (barring nudist resorts, strip clubs, etc.)


Because our country was founded by the most uptight people ever on the face of the Earth, the Puritans. Remember, they fled England because it was way too liberal...
 
2012-11-15 07:56:35 PM

Big Man On Campus: Actually, this guy has the best point ever made against the Democrats. They're supposed to be social liberals helping to defend and expand our social freedoms. However, outside of Abortion, they just don't give a flying fark. I mean, the U.S. is the only developed nation that basically forbids any women walking around topless, anywhere, and forget about clothing-optional beaches (A common thing in Europe and elsewhere). This is a very basic encroachment of protestant morals onto American freedom, but the Democrats don't care.


As far as I know it's 100% legal for a woman to be topless in NYC.
 
2012-11-15 07:58:17 PM

Wally007: bmihura: KrispyKritter: i question the mind of one who considers breasts to be obscene. everything of the body is 100% natural. breasts aren't obscene, some peoples minds are obscene. they should have to stand up and explain their minds. i suspect they are in need of psychological counseling. they are deeply damaged people who deserve our help and sympathy.

Oh really? Then why is it against the law in every state to be nude in public? (barring nudist resorts, strip clubs, etc.)

Because our country was founded by the most uptight people ever on the face of the Earth, the Puritans. Remember, they fled England because it was way too liberal...


Don't worry, we godless liberals are doing our best to destroy America. Maybe then the secessionists will flee to Iran or something.
 
2012-11-15 07:58:20 PM

bmihura: Oh really? Then why is it against the law in every state to be nude in public? (barring nudist resorts, strip clubs, etc.)


because it isn't. In fact, I'd venture a guess that it is against state law in very few states. And several states have officially struck down (judicially) even local laws which make it illegal for a woman to be topless but a man not. NY, for instance. Heck, even the federal capital can't outlaw toplessness.

Now, skivies on the other hand...
 
2012-11-15 08:01:22 PM

mrshowrules: Hobodeluxe: [regretfulmorning.com image 600x431]

Nice rims.


After hours of intense study, I noticed there are rims in that photo and determined that they are stock Viper rims.
 
2012-11-15 08:04:27 PM

Whiskey Pete: cougs4ever: I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!

[i1162.photobucket.com image 193x261]


Is that . . . is that . . . oh god, no, is that a nip slip?
 
2012-11-15 08:07:03 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: Whiskey Pete: cougs4ever: I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!

[i1162.photobucket.com image 193x261]

Is that . . . is that . . . oh god, no, is that a nip slip?


Nope. Just a vein.
 
2012-11-15 08:10:04 PM

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: mrshowrules: Hobodeluxe: [regretfulmorning.com image 600x431]

Nice rims.

After hours of intense study, I noticed there are rims in that photo and determined that they are stock Viper rims.


I better check that photo again to confirm.
 
2012-11-15 08:11:52 PM

Whiskey Pete: cougs4ever: I was hoping for carwash, girls with wet t-shirts thread!

[i1162.photobucket.com image 193x261]


Why the fark would you farking do something as farked as that? fark!
 
2012-11-15 08:15:47 PM
That is so wrong!!!!



Need some eye bleach, STAT
 
2012-11-15 08:16:23 PM
Is anyone else bothered that the author did not invest the ten seconds necessary to get the name of his hometown correct?

It is not Chuncula.

The correct spelling is Chunchula.
 
2012-11-15 08:17:02 PM

mrshowrules: IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: mrshowrules: Hobodeluxe: [regretfulmorning.com image 600x431]

Nice rims.

After hours of intense study, I noticed there are rims in that photo and determined that they are stock Viper rims.

I better check that photo again to confirm.


Please...by all means..better to have another set of eyes confirm my findings. I'll check again as well.
 
2012-11-15 08:23:29 PM
what a NSFW car wash might look like
 
2012-11-15 08:26:14 PM

SilentStrider: Aarontology: I dunno, I think this guy has a case.

I agree. i support this cause.


I don't have a problem with this.
 
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