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(Wonkette)   Genius Alabama fella starts secession petition because city officials shut down his ladies-naked-boobies carwash (Warning: pic is Not safe for work)   (wonkette.com) divider line 139
    More: Cool, Alabama, car washes, car wash, city managers, fascists, working poor, Derrick Belcher, petitions  
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33761 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2012 at 6:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



139 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-15 05:59:38 PM
bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron.
 
2012-11-15 06:02:58 PM
I dunno, I think this guy has a case.
 
2012-11-15 06:04:20 PM

Aarontology: I dunno, I think this guy has a case.


I agree. i support this cause.
 
2012-11-15 06:07:29 PM
i786.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-15 06:13:46 PM
This is the only secession movement I can get behind.
 
2012-11-15 06:14:15 PM
As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".
 
2012-11-15 06:14:46 PM
I'm sympathetic, but I'd have to see the boobies to properly judge the legality of that.
 
2012-11-15 06:15:29 PM
I suspect his Cadillac may have one wheel in the ditch, and one on the track.
 
2012-11-15 06:16:01 PM
Oh, and...thanks, Obama!
 
2012-11-15 06:16:42 PM

costermonger: As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".


I don't know about that. Sure, "because Obama" is a stupid farking reason for secession, but at least it's an issue secession would actually solve. No matter if Alabama's in the USA, the CSA, or the UCAS, the city council are still going to be the same people.
 
2012-11-15 06:16:53 PM
citizented.com

/stripper thread
 
2012-11-15 06:17:04 PM
I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.
 
2012-11-15 06:17:10 PM
He has a point. Any country that forbids naked ladies is just not America anymore....
 
2012-11-15 06:17:26 PM
That article was more poorly-written than the petition.
 
2012-11-15 06:18:16 PM
so this is what I takes for a united Fark? Never saw it coming.
 
2012-11-15 06:19:34 PM

Zeb Hesselgresser: so this is what I takes for a united Fark? Never saw it coming.


If Romney had only run on the "Naked boobies, all the time!" platform, Obama would be back on the street.
 
2012-11-15 06:20:59 PM

maxheck: I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.


Shut up and take my money!
 
2012-11-15 06:21:46 PM
I absolutely love all this secession business. If every single Red State secedes, the remaining US will still have the world's largest economy, still almost doubling China's. The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany. Good luck with that one, guys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_by_GDP
 
2012-11-15 06:22:46 PM

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: That article was more poorly-written than the petition.


And not funny at all. Surely we can make fun of the lowest common denominator without actually writing like them, right?
 
2012-11-15 06:22:52 PM
I have never seen those first three words of the headline in a row before.
 
2012-11-15 06:23:26 PM
Came for the Homer Simpson country pic.

leaving with a sad.
 
2012-11-15 06:24:25 PM

jso2897: I suspect his Cadillac may have one wheel in the ditch, and one on the track.


Swing low down in Alabama.
 
2012-11-15 06:24:44 PM
The funny thing is, it was probably his bible thumping co-conservatives that got him shut down for obscenity.
 
2012-11-15 06:25:15 PM
Obongos strikes again.
 
2012-11-15 06:25:33 PM
was obama ever on the street?
 
2012-11-15 06:25:49 PM

costermonger: As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".


Except he's blaming 0bama for Mobile, Alabama's city officials. That's double the stupid.
 
2012-11-15 06:26:06 PM

AcneVulgaris: The funny thing is, it was probably his bible thumping co-conservatives that got him shut down for obscenity.


I would assume you're right. I'd also assume this guy's IQ is firmly in the double digits.
 
2012-11-15 06:27:02 PM
Topless car wash?!?!

...oh, staffed by women from Alabama.

Hmmph.
 
2012-11-15 06:28:22 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-11-15 06:28:44 PM
I liked the picture, but couldn't understand the article.
 
2012-11-15 06:28:51 PM
But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.
 
2012-11-15 06:29:34 PM

caramba421: The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany.


That's much bigger than I would have guessed.
 
2012-11-15 06:29:41 PM

Delawheredad: This is the only secession movement I can get behind.


Nah, no point(s) in being behind, this is something we all need to be ahead of.
 
2012-11-15 06:30:06 PM

traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.


Not really. Obama's Time Machine makes it back to 2001 easily.
 
2012-11-15 06:31:10 PM

JasonThomasX: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 282x180]


thank you!!!1111
 
2012-11-15 06:31:19 PM
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2012-11-15 06:32:02 PM
So... they took away his jerb in 2001. During Dubya's illegitimate reign.
And he starts a petition _now_?
Someone should charge these idiots for every petition they start.
 
2012-11-15 06:32:28 PM

St_Francis_P: traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.

Not really. Obama's Time Machine makes it back to 2001 easily.


Time machine? Eh, more like Kenyan Voodoo Magic.
 
2012-11-15 06:34:04 PM

St_Francis_P: I'm sympathetic, but I'd have to see the boobies to properly judge the legality of that.


It said "bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron."
 
2012-11-15 06:34:17 PM

St_Francis_P: traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.

Not really. Obama's Time Machine makes it back to 2001 easily.


Obama's time machine specializes in the Bush years.
 
2012-11-15 06:36:08 PM
The town that I went to college in had nothing in the form of entertainment, really; but it was the town that had the highest per-capita amount of strip clubs throughout the whole State. So, when my friends and I discovered that there was a "Topless Car Wash" we decided we had to go check it out. Turns out it was just a regular strip club that washed your car while you were inside the building... no boobies washing the windows. We were incredibly disappointed, even while being a group of penis-loving straight metal chicks.
 
2012-11-15 06:36:09 PM

Misch: St_Francis_P: I'm sympathetic, but I'd have to see the boobies to properly judge the legality of that.

It said "bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron."


Ba bum tsssh...
 
2012-11-15 06:37:01 PM

St_Francis_P: AcneVulgaris: The funny thing is, it was probably his bible thumping co-conservatives that got him shut down for obscenity.

I would assume you're right. I'd also assume this guy's IQ is firmly in the double digits.


Let us not speak of his dentition or lineage.
 
2012-11-15 06:38:41 PM
i question the mind of one who considers breasts to be obscene. everything of the body is 100% natural. breasts aren't obscene, some peoples minds are obscene. they should have to stand up and explain their minds. i suspect they are in need of psychological counseling. they are deeply damaged people who deserve our help and sympathy.
 
2012-11-15 06:38:57 PM
a ***NSFW*** warning would have been nice, thanks!
 
2012-11-15 06:40:55 PM
I think the problem is more "Alabama" than "Obama," fella.
 
2012-11-15 06:41:25 PM
No pictures, only a blurry screenshot from an adult video. I is disappoint.

/ as long as you cannot see the goodies from the outside, what is the problem with the carwash?
// dnrtfa
 
2012-11-15 06:41:25 PM
Derrick Belcher, 45, is a truck driving, knife collecting former owner of a topless car wash who describes himself as "an absolute Libertarian."

media.al.com

That is a rough, rough 45 years there.
 
2012-11-15 06:41:34 PM
Ok...easy fix. He just needs to tweak his petition a bit. Instead of "Alabama secede from the US," it should read "I secede from Mobile."

Done and done.
 
2012-11-15 06:42:50 PM
He wants to secede now because he was arrested 11 years ago? Yeah, bullshiat. He's pissed the President is black.
 
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