FARK.com: (7436464) Old and busted: Sharktopus. New hotness: Bearantula

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		Old and busted: Sharktopus. New hotness: Bearantula (io9.com)		38
		More: Cool, Sharktopus, Bearantula, Ray Harryhausen, Ron Burkle, meteor showers, tarantulas, hybrid cars, college kids

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4425 clicks; posted to Geek » on 15 Nov 2012 at 6:11 PM | Favorite | share:

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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener		2012-11-15 04:59:57 PM

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY TIME

ArkAngel		2012-11-15 05:27:11 PM

The first step is to realize that Sharktopus is not the ultimate predator, and that we humans do not live in the water. The ultimate predator would have to be a land creature, with enough legs to move hella fast, some kind of poisonous sacs, and huge freaking bear claws and teeth.

Why? Sharks haven't changed in 150 million years. They are, essentially, the ultimate predator. But if you're all butthurt, how about Landsharktopus? The ultimate Candygram deliverer

Sin_City_Superhero		2012-11-15 05:36:43 PM

I'd watch that movie.

scottydoesntknow		2012-11-15 05:46:04 PM

The first step is to realize that Sharktopus is not the ultimate predator, and that we humans do not live in the water.

So much fail here

A) Over 50% of the US population lives in coastal watershed counties (less than 20% of USA's landmass).

B) Sharktopus is not a fully aquatic animal, as evidenced by these photographs:

www.monstersoftelevision.com

I think Sharktopus is doing just fine on the "Fantasy Apex Predators" list

Shadow Blasko		2012-11-15 05:52:52 PM

Sharktopus was amazing.

As was this when it was written 2 years ago.

But I aint gonna biatch about that, because I wanna see this movie MADE!

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener		2012-11-15 05:53:10 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: I'd watch that movie.

Hell yeah!

The channel's mostly gone to hell, but if you make a Syfy Original Movie and it features a hybrid monster of some kind, I'M THERE.

DicksWii		2012-11-15 06:14:27 PM

So ...

hogans		2012-11-15 06:21:32 PM

A bearantula would quickly lose to the wily manther.

The Stealth Hippopotamus		2012-11-15 06:21:58 PM

Was it Ursiel??

/now that's obscure

Osomatic		2012-11-15 06:29:41 PM

DAMN YOU, BEARANTULA!

N.B.: I am not Ralph Garman.

kiteless		2012-11-15 06:31:07 PM

I was going to be a wet blanket about this, but as seen above, the people have spoken. Begin production immediately.

maxheck		2012-11-15 06:37:13 PM

No, it's just not working, SciFi.... Sharktopus is a name to conjure with.... Berantula, notsomuch.

maxheck		2012-11-15 06:40:09 PM

RON PAUL
LUNAR OP
PORNULA

just saying, so long as we're shuffling names. We haven't had a good exploitation film in a while.

Grote-Man		2012-11-15 06:40:49 PM

DicksWii: So ...

[i.crackedcdn.com image 333x496]

I would pay good money to see a movie with Steve McQueen, Alfred Molina, Cillian Murphy, Billy Dee Williams and Helen Mirren

Mugato		2012-11-15 06:50:39 PM

So they're throwing darts at pictures of animals to come up with their movies now? Hey, far be it from me to rip on a sci-fi channel movie. It just seems like they could be making new tv shows instead. Even a show like Firefly that they seemingly purposefully cocked up would seem to be a better investment if they didn't do the cocking up thing, just saying.

Old enough to know better		2012-11-15 06:53:54 PM

Jesus Christ this shiat is stupid.

TheOther		2012-11-15 07:05:38 PM

Old enough to know better: Jesus Christ this shiat is stupid.

and old...

This io9 flashback originally appeared in September 2010.

/would still watch

dready zim		2012-11-15 07:44:37 PM

Oh, I thought it would be the other way round. Much scarier to have a huge bear body with a spiders face and eight eyes...

Mr. Eugenides		2012-11-15 07:49:35 PM

At first I was doubtful, but I was convinced this is genius when I reached "and then the guy from Wang Chung gets killed."

But only if they can get Danny Trejo to play the geeky scientist that's nervous around hot lab techs.

FunkOut		2012-11-15 07:58:32 PM

There was a Fringe episode about someone making an ultimate land predator chimera. It was a lizard-bat-wasp and somewhat disturbing.

Mega Steve		2012-11-15 08:11:10 PM

Mr. Eugenides: But only if they can get Danny Trejo to play the geeky scientist that's nervous around hot lab techs.

That would make a great movie unto itself! Danny Trejo IS El Profesor Loco!

andrewagill		2012-11-15 08:39:29 PM

Oh, bearantula!

Arachnophobe		2012-11-15 09:08:53 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Was it Ursiel??

/now that's obscure

Nothing is obscure on Fark.

/Likest thou jelly within thy donut?
//12 more days!

WizardofToast		2012-11-15 09:31:55 PM

Sharknado will be better.

Yes. The movie I just said exists.

WordsnCollision		2012-11-15 10:02:52 PM

corq		2012-11-15 10:46:23 PM

ArkAngel: The first step is to realize that Sharktopus is not the ultimate predator, and that we humans do not live in the water. The ultimate predator would have to be a land creature, with enough legs to move hella fast, some kind of poisonous sacs, and huge freaking bear claws and teeth.

Why? Sharks haven't changed in 150 million years. They are, essentially, the ultimate predator. But if you're all butthurt, how about Landsharktopus? The ultimate Candygram deliverer

Favorite. SNL. Skit. Evar.

Old Man Winter		2012-11-15 11:27:19 PM

dready zim: Oh, I thought it would be the other way round. Much scarier to have a huge bear body with a spiders face and eight eyes...

surbrook.devermore.net

Mr. Eugenides		2012-11-15 11:33:18 PM

Old Man Winter:
[surbrook.devermore.net image 500x400]

That looks too much like an ewok to be a bearantulla.

DarkPascual		2012-11-15 11:49:18 PM

Old Man Winter: dready zim: Oh, I thought it would be the other way round. Much scarier to have a huge bear body with a spiders face and eight eyes...

[surbrook.devermore.net image 500x400]

AWWWW... Who's a cutesy little abomination against the creation? Who's a meanie killing machine?

/Seriously, that thing is adorable...

Mantour		2012-11-16 12:12:27 AM

Piranhaconda is the sequel of Sharkotopus.:

Trailer of Piranhaconda

3.bp.blogspot.com

Mantour		2012-11-16 12:23:22 AM

dready zim		2012-11-16 05:21:51 AM

Old Man Winter: dready zim: Oh, I thought it would be the other way round. Much scarier to have a huge bear body with a spiders face and eight eyes...

[surbrook.devermore.net image 500x400]

Not bad but instead of cute bear fur it has spider bristles and the eyes look more like eight eyes more on the sides instead of two big care bear ones where normal bear eyes are..
www.photomacrography.net

like this

Also no cute bear ears.

SkunkWerks		2012-11-16 07:43:56 AM

Garko		2012-11-16 07:56:27 AM

Iblis824		2012-11-16 08:15:00 AM

SkunkWerks		2012-11-16 08:47:39 AM

Iblis824: [robot6.comicbookresources.com image 650x859]

www.hrwiki.org

Osomatic		2012-11-16 03:17:42 PM

Mantour: [i2.cdnds.net image 618x347]

I swear when I first looked at this I thought the snake had thrown up a helicopter.

improvius		2012-11-18 12:20:50 PM

From the creator of Axe Cop: Bearmageddon .

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