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(Starpulse)   11 stars who will never be named People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive"   (starpulse.com) divider line 69
    More: Amusing, people, Channing Tatum, People magazine, Hugh Jackman, George Clooney, Denzel Washington  
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8701 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 15 Nov 2012 at 5:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-15 04:09:52 PM
Geoffrey Arend doesn't care.

And don't you dare ever say John C. Reilly isn't hot. His awesomeness makes him hot.
 
2012-11-15 04:54:11 PM
Green?

Really?
 
2012-11-15 04:54:21 PM
Alpha Centauri strangely absent

/what?
 
2012-11-15 05:42:00 PM
11 people who will never be in my kitchen.
 
2012-11-15 05:42:40 PM
"11 ugly people who are more successful than we will ever be, in an industry that favors physical attractiveness over anything else."
 
2012-11-15 05:50:03 PM
Eye of the beholder. I know some women who would jump Ron Perlman and Willem Dafoe's bones in a heartbeat if given the opportunity.
 
2012-11-15 05:50:09 PM
If they ever do a movie about The Cars, Adam Driver (#10 on the list) would be a shoo-in to play Ric Ocasek.
 
2012-11-15 05:58:13 PM
huh, what a dickish, pointless article.
 
2012-11-15 06:03:07 PM

Lollipop165: Geoffrey Arend doesn't care.

And don't you dare ever say John C. Reilly isn't hot. His awesomeness makes him hot.


If you mean by Fark's standard of "hot", which pretty much means a warm body, then yes he is hot. But in real life, he is not hot. That's why he was so believable as a male porn star.in Boogie Nights
 
2012-11-15 06:03:13 PM
"How you doin'?"
splitsider.com
 
2012-11-15 06:07:41 PM
The slideshow:

i.imgur.com

No, I didn't add that last one.
 
2012-11-15 06:08:30 PM
Dammit, people. First one into the pool needs to cough up a deslidified link.

It'd be even better if the submitter did it..
 
2012-11-15 06:10:36 PM
I'm going to guess TFA was written by a straight man with self esteem issues.
 
2012-11-15 06:11:48 PM
No Danny Devito? List fails then. Thou Rosie at the end was funny
 
2012-11-15 06:21:09 PM
Nice troll on #11.
 
2012-11-15 06:30:32 PM
Frank Stallone?
 
2012-11-15 06:44:21 PM
Buscemi and Dafoe aren't ugly, per se, they are just angular and different looking.
 
2012-11-15 07:03:16 PM
I think Ron Pearlman is kinda hot.
 
2012-11-15 07:04:40 PM
I totally thought that picture of Steven Tyler was my grandma.
 
2012-11-15 07:05:14 PM
What are their fark handles?
 
2012-11-15 07:07:18 PM
I used to find Willem Dafoe very attractive. He comes across quite charming which adds to his attractiveness.
 
2012-11-15 07:08:10 PM
#12 - Anybody who isn't white.
 
2012-11-15 07:10:05 PM
You would think none of those folks would be People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" but then again, this happened:

img2.timeinc.net
 
2012-11-15 07:21:54 PM
Funny... the first name that popped in my head was Buscemi, and sure enough, he's first on the list.
 
2012-11-15 07:26:46 PM
www.invisibledisabilities.org

Screw yo list!
 
2012-11-15 07:35:57 PM
i.imgur.com
www.mclol.com
She wears underwear with dick holes.
 
2012-11-15 07:43:33 PM
You know what? I would totally do Buscemi - in a heartbeat. Giamatti too.
 
2012-11-15 07:47:58 PM

See My Az Go: You know what? I would totally do Buscemi - in a heartbeat. Giamatti too.


hmm... hot with low standards. My kind of girl.
 
2012-11-15 08:03:15 PM
Really expected to see Dinklage on the list.
 
2012-11-15 08:10:56 PM
Channing Tatum has all the acting chops of Reb Brown.
 
2012-11-15 08:20:17 PM

goatleggedfellow: Channing Tatum has all the acting chops of Reb

the color Brown.

ftfy
 
2012-11-15 08:23:44 PM
So, it was just a list of ugly actors. Thought there might be something clever here, but I guess not.
 
2012-11-15 08:26:24 PM

Obiwontaun: I totally thought that picture of Steven Tyler was my grandma.


Dude looks like a lady.
 
2012-11-15 08:27:44 PM
I was hoping for a list of dead guys.
 
2012-11-15 08:51:39 PM

RevMercutio: #12 - Anybody who isn't white.

 
2012-11-15 08:56:55 PM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: RevMercutio: #12 - Anybody who isn't white.


i1127.photobucket.com

Junezel Washington
 
2012-11-15 09:08:18 PM
Although few here are old enough to remember this, when Ron Perlman played 'Vincent' in the TV show 'Beauty and the Beast', women went INSANE for him.

They even sold a ton of albums of him reading poetry in character.
 
2012-11-15 09:29:15 PM
Take it from me, being beautiful isn't always all that it's cracked up to be. Sometimes I'm envious of you ugly people.
 
2012-11-15 09:44:03 PM
Came for Steve Buscemi. Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-11-15 09:48:00 PM
Yeah, some of these guys aren't unattractive-- They're just getting older.

Tell you what, Starpulse... You get back to me about Channing Tatum in about 30 years and tell me how sexy he is. Need I remind you that age can claim the hottest people and beat them with the ugly/fat stick?

Look... I'd probably seriously consider stepping outside of my sexual-identity boundaries for 1983 Val Kilmer, because he was really good looking, but 2012 Val Kilmer? No, I'm happy being straight, thanks. We can be friends (He does seem like a really cool guy) but I'm not into anything else.

You could also insert "Cary Elwes" in the place of Val Kilmer. He was really good looking in the early-mid 80s. Even now he's not bad looking, but he's obviously older and bigger and not the tight, hot young man he once was.

I bet the author of the article was some snot-nose in their 20s. Just wait, Junior. It will catch up to you, too.
 
2012-11-15 09:57:37 PM
www.exposay.com

Strangely absent...
 
2012-11-15 10:30:05 PM
No Carrot-top?
 
2012-11-15 10:43:51 PM
srsly wtf

images.starpulse.com
 
2012-11-15 10:53:34 PM
torinelson.files.wordpress.com

Demands a recount.
 
2012-11-15 11:02:45 PM
many women had a crush on Ron Perlman when he was on Beauty and the Beast, he was so romantic, sigh
 
2012-11-16 12:03:36 AM

plushpuppy: many women had a crush on Ron Perlman when he was on Beauty and the Beast, he was so romantic, sigh


Not to mention he's Hellboy.
 
2012-11-16 12:30:03 AM

thisiszombocom: srsly wtf

[images.starpulse.com image 470x688]


It says that he's a Marine veteran... I couldn't imagine going through boot camp with dem ears... though maybe without the mop top and sporting a high and tight would help those ratios some...
 
2012-11-16 01:17:16 AM
media.sundancechannel.com

Can't win on account of being dead.
 
2012-11-16 01:55:58 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

Michael Berryman laughs at your list. He laughs from his mountain.
 
2012-11-16 02:37:55 AM

raidersofthelostfark: Really expected to see Dinklage on the list.


I dunno, I've heard plenty of women say he's very attractive.
 
2012-11-16 03:04:07 AM

thisiszombocom: srsly wtf

[images.starpulse.com image 470x688]


He looks like he's made of wax and someone left him in the oven too long
 
2012-11-16 04:00:23 AM
I thought at first that Tyler was an old lady.

images.starpulse.com

I know of a few women who think Dafoe is plenty sexy

images.starpulse.com

And this may be the ugliest man currently in show business, if this is not just a particularly not unflattering picture

images.starpulse.com
 
2012-11-16 04:23:59 AM
Giamatti and Perlman aren't HOT.... but they are handsome. There's a difference. If you're going to be totally superficial (and given the subject, yes, yes you are), then no they will never be listed as such. But they are handsome guys.
 
2012-11-16 06:12:22 AM
Since I'm a dead ringer for Paul Giamatti, It's hard to not pay attention to how people refer to his looks.

CSB: my wife and brother-in-law went to see the illusionist and couldn't believe what they saw. Apparently, I look, walk, smile, react just like him. The very next day all 3 of us saw it together and they spent the last 10 minutes watching me instead of the movie as I "reacted" to last part of the movie.

/lady at work said "you look like that dude from Shoot 'em up, he was a BAD dude" (haven't seen it yet)
//former sales rep use to always say "You look like Pig Vomit"
///Never knew about the guy until "The Illusionist", but it explains some weird stares and "HEEEYs" in the distance that happen
 
2012-11-16 10:09:59 AM

T.rex: Funny... the first name that popped in my head was Buscemi, and sure enough, he's first on the list.


Me too.
 
2012-11-16 10:20:23 AM
www.exposay.com
The guy's like a human/giraffe hybrid.
 
2012-11-16 10:44:31 AM
I was just talking about this yesterday with my Farker boyfriend and I think I am the only person alive who does not look at ANY actor or actress as being hot or physically attractive. My brain just does not see them like that. To me their job is to entertain me with their acting not their looks. I wouldn't bang out your Brad Pitts, Channing whatever his name is, anymore then I would your Willem Defoes and Steve Buscemis. They are like carboard cutouts to me and I just don't understand why actors and actresses HAVE to be these smoking hot individuals to be on screen and those that are not are just the subject of ridicule or at the very least "not as good" as the ones who are better looking. In all honesty many of these super hot actors/actresses are horrible at what is suppose to be their art.
 
2012-11-16 10:55:12 AM

raidersofthelostfark: Really expected to see Dinklage on the list.


Hush your mouth.

//Paul Giamatti, Willem Dafoe, and Geoffrey Arend can all call me.
///This list is dumb.
 
2012-11-16 11:00:06 AM
James Van Der Beek?
 
2012-11-16 11:46:21 AM

Fano: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x285]

Michael Berryman laughs at your list. He laughs from his mountain.


I see your Berryman, and raise you one Z'Dar:
aznbadger.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-16 01:02:45 PM

timujin: See My Az Go: You know what? I would totally do Buscemi - in a heartbeat. Giamatti too.

hmm... hot with low standards. My kind of girl.


It's not that my standards are low, it's just that Buscemi is just ugly enough, smart enough, and funny enough, that he seems like he would know how to do all sorts of wicked things to me.

Modified Cornstarch: Since I'm a dead ringer for Paul Giamatti, It's hard to not pay attention to how people refer to his looks.



How YOU doin'?
 
2012-11-16 02:23:25 PM

See My Az Go: timujin: See My Az Go: You know what? I would totally do Buscemi - in a heartbeat. Giamatti too.

hmm... hot with low standards. My kind of girl.

It's not that my standards are low, it's just that Buscemi is just ugly enough, smart enough, and funny enough, that he seems like he would know how to do all sorts of wicked things to me.

Modified Cornstarch: Since I'm a dead ringer for Paul Giamatti, It's hard to not pay attention to how people refer to his looks.



How YOU doin'?


i.imgur.com
Fine Thanks.
 
2012-11-16 03:34:56 PM

Modified Cornstarch: Fine Thanks.


Man, your wife's right, you do look like just him.



See My Az Go: timujin: See My Az Go: You know what? I would totally do Buscemi - in a heartbeat. Giamatti too.

hmm... hot with low standards. My kind of girl.

It's not that my standards are low, it's just that Buscemi is just ugly enough, smart enough, and funny enough, that he seems like he would know how to do all sorts of wicked things to me.


that's all good, I'm just ugly enough, I work for NASA and I know some killer knock knock jokes. I'm quite certain I am capable of doing wicked things.
 
2012-11-16 09:22:29 PM

Summoner101: plushpuppy: many women had a crush on Ron Perlman when he was on Beauty and the Beast, he was so romantic, sigh

Not to mention he's Hellboy.



I would do so many naughty things to that man, and have felt that way since the first time I saw him as Vincent. Love him even more now in Sons of Anarchy.
 
2012-11-17 06:45:17 AM

ZeroCorpse: Yeah, some of these guys aren't unattractive-- They're just getting older.

Tell you what, Starpulse... You get back to me about Channing Tatum in about 30 years and tell me how sexy he is. Need I remind you that age can claim the hottest people and beat them with the ugly/fat stick?

Look... I'd probably seriously consider stepping outside of my sexual-identity boundaries for 1983 Val Kilmer, because he was really good looking, but 2012 Val Kilmer? No, I'm happy being straight, thanks. We can be friends (He does seem like a really cool guy) but I'm not into anything else.

You could also insert "Cary Elwes" in the place of Val Kilmer. He was really good looking in the early-mid 80s. Even now he's not bad looking, but he's obviously older and bigger and not the tight, hot young man he once was.

I bet the author of the article was some snot-nose in their 20s. Just wait, Junior. It will catch up to you, too.


The Saddest Example

www.images22.com


RIP, sweet sexy Irish Prince

www.hotflick.net 


/he's lucky his acting talent supercedes whether he looks good or not
//I agree with you on Val: the hotness of Tombstone/Doors era Kilmer gives me a sad
///All 70 million of the Baldwin Boys also currently fall into that level with Kilmer
 
2012-11-17 06:47:51 AM
Jared Leto and Jude Law have honorable mentions.....

Special mention goes to Vince Vaughn.

handson.provocateuse.com
That hottie just can't be the same person, just can't.


Aging sucks ass. Oh well, such is life.
 
2012-11-17 07:19:40 AM

padraig: I thought at first that Tyler was an old lady.

[images.starpulse.com image 470x705]

I know of a few women who think Dafoe is plenty sexy

[images.starpulse.com image 399x644]

And this may be the ugliest man currently in show business, if this is not just a particularly not unflattering picture

[images.starpulse.com image 470x688]


Speaking of Defoe........... more looking back past the sands of time and cragginess..............

img6.imageshack.us

www.jonathanrosenbaum.com
William Defoe: Hot Jesus

www.monstersandcritics.de
Jurgen Prochow: Hot German (NSFW: 70s bush at site)

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
Rutger Hauer: Hot Dane 

25.media.tumblr.com
This innocent young inexperienced naif


/Shocker: Rob Lowe still holds up - in a plastic surgery kind of way; he, Tom Cruise, CZ Jones and Halle Berry must go to the same doctor
//No black men on the list cuz black don't crack (much)
///pouring one out for the youth of white homies 
/all links hot like Chamberlain in the Thorn Birds
 
2012-11-17 02:03:28 PM

ExperianScaresCthulhu:
Rutger Hauer: Hot Dane Dutchman 

FTFY.
 
2012-11-17 02:33:48 PM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: ZeroCorpse: Yeah, some of these guys aren't unattractive-- They're just getting older.

Tell you what, Starpulse... You get back to me about Channing Tatum in about 30 years and tell me how sexy he is. Need I remind you that age can claim the hottest people and beat them with the ugly/fat stick?

Look... I'd probably seriously consider stepping outside of my sexual-identity boundaries for 1983 Val Kilmer, because he was really good looking, but 2012 Val Kilmer? No, I'm happy being straight, thanks. We can be friends (He does seem like a really cool guy) but I'm not into anything else.

You could also insert "Cary Elwes" in the place of Val Kilmer. He was really good looking in the early-mid 80s. Even now he's not bad looking, but he's obviously older and bigger and not the tight, hot young man he once was.

I bet the author of the article was some snot-nose in their 20s. Just wait, Junior. It will catch up to you, too.

The Saddest Example

[www.images22.com image 360x445]


RIP, sweet sexy Irish Prince

[www.hotflick.net image 720x540] 


/he's lucky his acting talent supercedes whether he looks good or not
//I agree with you on Val: the hotness of Tombstone/Doors era Kilmer gives me a sad
///All 70 million of the Baldwin Boys also currently fall into that level with Kilmer


To be fair, that wasn't just the ravages of time. Boy genius there decided to get into boxing and got his pretty mug punched until it resembled a Picasso painting, then made it worse with a plastic surgery that was apparently done while the surgeon was having a seizure. If he had stayed out of the ring, he Mickey might have avoided looking like Joan River's ass.
 
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