If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Study shows "old age" has less to do with how many spins around the sun you have, and more to do with when you start feeling the urge to defend your lawn   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 67
    More: Obvious, Stop Shopping, Michelle Barnhart, Journal of Consumer Research, private bills, sense of wonder, good citizen, consumer researches, Oregon State University  
•       •       •

7698 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2012 at 3:11 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-11-15 04:54:53 PM  
A good example of this is an 80-year old man running a marathon, but a fat-ass teenager too lazy to reach the remote one cushion over.
 
2012-11-15 04:56:14 PM  

MythDragon: Private_Citizen: You're only as old as your back feels.

I am 37 and I play video games 2 hours a day during the week and 4-6 hours a day on the weekends. I like to play practical jokes on random strangers. Like when some random Indian (dot) guy wasgoing into a resturant in front of me gave his name, I saw him on the way out and got him to admit he knew me.
"Hey! Mr Patel! How've you been?"
*quizzical look*
"It's me, Ryan!"
*shakes hand*
"I haven't seen you in a while"
'Oh....uh yes. I've been busy.'
"You remember me, right? From the store?"
'Oh, yes. yes.'
As he left he was confused as hell.

So I feel young in that aspect, but my back hurts like hell. Maybe Vicodin helps keep you youngracist?


You win
 
2012-11-15 04:59:22 PM  
I'm 35 and one of my best friends is 26. Her body is falling to pieces. Literally everything that could go wrong with a human has or is happening to her. She's like an 80 year old.

/makes me feel young
//would feel that way anyway
 
2012-11-15 05:05:04 PM  
I'll be 53 Dec 27. Well, I rarely get birthday presents. My sons are 33 and 30. A coupla New Years ago I was sitting with a young lady in a bar. I said to her that my problem is that I was born long, long ago. She replied with the question "So who has surpassed you?"

My younger son tells me I am only as old as my youngest gf. By that metric, well I don't wanna brag.

I still can win playing the whites and earn a draw playing the blacks against the machine-taught twentysomethings down at the Uni. I still acquit myself decently on the bike trail against them as well.

For me, by-and-large, this adventure of living has become ever more enjoyable. Being able to grasp my own unimportance has really helped.

SO has both kinds of nasty arthritis and is being investigated for Parkinson's. Many of my friends are dead and many that remain are a little crippled somehow. I do have a little 'survivors guilt' and life is a little bit weird now. . .
 
2012-11-15 05:16:52 PM  
I am 62 and can still dunk a basketball. I will be old when I can't do that anymore. I am rather tall, so it won't be for a while.
 
2012-11-15 05:19:44 PM  

evaned:
We may not yet be to where you could say that most college freshmen don't have strong memories of 9/11... but we're not that far away either.



That's ok they'll still get a chance to fight in that war.
 
das
2012-11-15 05:21:23 PM  
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was???

SP
 
2012-11-15 05:34:33 PM  

genner: evaned:
We may not yet be to where you could say that most college freshmen don't have strong memories of 9/11... but we're not that far away either.


That's ok they'll still get a chance to fight in that war.


Delicious Onion

/You know, for belts
 
2012-11-15 05:42:04 PM  

Point02GPA: 68 year old here...and what were we talking about????

/is Matlock on yet?


How old did you say you are?

How old did you say you are?

How . . .
 
2012-11-15 05:43:29 PM  
I pride myself on coming from a long line of crazy old people. Both in the "Damn, that lady is CRAZY old" sense and the "Damn, that lady is pretty crazy" sense.

My grandmother used to refer to "that old woman next door" and cheered when said "old woman" was escorted back home by the police after getting involved in some drama on their street. She had decided that this neighbor (another old Irish bird) was her mortal enemy, to be mocked and derided at every opportunity. My Grandmother was 99 at the time, and her neighbor was 101. Ridic.

Grandma's greatest hits:

At 95 yrs old, upon picking up my Mom's call after a second attempt to reach her (Mom was SURE she was dead):
GM: "What do you want?"
M: "Um, to talk to you (aka make sure you weren't dead). Why didn't you answer the first time?"
GM: "I was on a ladder."
M: "What were you doing on a ladder?!?!"
GM: "Painting the ceiling. What else would I be doing?"

Other hits:
GM: "I am going to get a new car. Imagine, me...in a brand new car!"
M: "You can't see and you don't have a license anymore."
GM: "So what? If I run someone over, I'll just drag it out in court until I'm dead. Man, I would really enjoy a new car."

GM: "I tried to get myself declared legally blind. Apparently the State of NY gives you free cab rides if you're blind."
- - 2 months later - -
GM: "Damn...I'm not blind enough. Sons of biatches..."
 
2012-11-15 06:30:13 PM  

Felgraf: So, wait, I'm going to live forever then?

If I ever *have* to retire (around.. maybe 90?), I think I'd love to spend my time crafting and running a pen and paper session at a game store.

Come on, how awesome would it be to be the 100 year old Game Master? I'd probably have to put something in my will to resolve things should I expire before the campaign can be completed.

/And to my bereaved friends at the store: Rocks fall, everyone dies. No, alright, seriously, here's what happens...



...

And to my son, my dearst wife having departed, I leave my properties and assets not otherwise prescribed in this document

And lastly, to my dear friends of "Dwayne's Dice and Collectables", I leave the following:
To Farenfell the Dwarf and Alastia Cinthlenos, High Elf, thank you for the years we shared in our realm of Mira, and wish many happy adventures befall you, till at last we might meet again. In death, I elevate each of you to the godhood you sought so long, and wish only I was there to share with you the joy of its finally happening. If circumstances had but differed by a few choice rolls, this would have happened years ago, but alas, it was not in the dice.
To Merrymel, Gnomeish Beastrider, and his "Dire Turkey" Beloxis, I leave only scorn. I have tried for years to kill you, and that I have died before succeeding in this task fills me with a regret few men will ever know. Your infernal luck with dice I could ascribe only to the most heinous of cheating, if I had not prohibited your use of any but my own dice years ago. Know that your survival in being dropped alone into the ninth layer of the deepest of twelve hells was a great personal affront, and took such from my spirit that before it was the last year of good health that I can remember. Your annoying antics, cryptic and perversely lacking sense of humor, but mostly your unending squeaking imitation of your avatars voice filled me, through these long years, with near crippling anxiety leading to each weeks session. I don't know how Farenfell and Alastia managed their unaffected nature in your presence. Enduring you has certainly led to whatever grave I lay in during this reading, whether it be by the gods or my own reprieving hand I cannot say, but so long as my long agony is done, so be it. Merrymel, you and your "steed" were unfortunate enough to be standing in Mira when a wizard, dabbling in things he ought not, as wizards are wont, opened a portal into the Prime Material Plane. In a blast of unmatched energy, all of Mira, out to the very stars in the heavens above, has perished, that you might die with it. There is no save allowed. Farenfell and Alastia, pray do not begrudge me the loss of your birth realm. Your godhoods attained, all of the realms are yours to do with as you will.

Goodbye my friends, I know it must pain all of you that my orders were for this reading to occur a month after my death, but I had my reasons for leaving you in ignorance. Specifically, I've had a dead man's switch active for years. Each month, it required my private code, else a large sum be released to an interested third party. While I did not wish to burden my family with this in life, but in death, Merrymel, you shall finally get what you deserve you bastard.

Already he moves.
 
2012-11-15 06:45:48 PM  

SueDisco: I'm 35 and one of my best friends is 26. Her body is falling to pieces. Literally everything that could go wrong with a human has or is happening to her. She's like an 80 year old.

/makes me feel young
//would feel that way anyway


It almost sounds like you're happy about her situation.
 
2012-11-15 06:54:06 PM  
Does this mean that if I fap myself instead of having a hottie do it for me I'll stay young?
 
2012-11-15 07:55:55 PM  

The Ghost of Tom Ace: When I turned 30, I felt like I was healthier than I ever been and quite happy that I never got married in my twenties. There was so much more fun to be had. But then I started losing my hair a few months ago and now I feel like I'm in my fifties and my self esteem is at an all time low, progressively getting worse each day. Women won't talk to me and I don't have the courage to talk to them anymore. I should have gotten married when I had the chance.


yesterday you were leaning toward suicidal thought, today you only regret not getting into the marriage that would have led to a miserable divorce. you're making excellent progress and i'm very proud of you.

PS: my eldest sister will be 60 in a few months. she dates more now than when she was in HS or college. it's all up to you pooh bear. life is what you make it. how you spend your days is how you spend your life. get up, get out and get down.
 
2012-11-15 08:25:11 PM  

KrispyKritter: The Ghost of Tom Ace: When I turned 30, I felt like I was healthier than I ever been and quite happy that I never got married in my twenties. There was so much more fun to be had. But then I started losing my hair a few months ago and now I feel like I'm in my fifties and my self esteem is at an all time low, progressively getting worse each day. Women won't talk to me and I don't have the courage to talk to them anymore. I should have gotten married when I had the chance.

yesterday you were leaning toward suicidal thought, today you only regret not getting into the marriage that would have led to a miserable divorce. you're making excellent progress and i'm very proud of you.

PS: my eldest sister will be 60 in a few months. she dates more now than when she was in HS or college. it's all up to you pooh bear. life is what you make it. how you spend your days is how you spend your life. get up, get out and get down.


I appreciate your sentiment. :) Though I can't say I won't someday do it, some days are better than others. Reading through your bio, I gotta tell you that I'm sad to hear the situation at home and I hope things get better for everyone.
 
2012-11-15 09:19:32 PM  
Most of my relatives had all their marbles to the end, so I am hopeful that there will be another interesting book to read no matter how old I get.
 
2012-11-16 12:30:47 AM  
Old Age begins when you no longer have working receptors to react to a young lady's pheromone output
 
Displayed 17 of 67 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report