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(CBS4Denver - KCNC)   Sideshow Bob made a half-hearted suicide attempt in his prison cell   (denver.cbslocal.com) divider line 86
    More: Fail, Sideshow Bob, suicide attempts, prison cells, gag orders, suicides  
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12250 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2012 at 12:12 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-15 09:56:07 AM  
I thought we'd given up on the Sideshow Bob thing weeks ago.
 
2012-11-15 10:32:15 AM  
someone should help him with that.
 
2012-11-15 10:39:21 AM  
Did he use a rake?

Hahahaha. I'm just kidding. I don't really care.
 
2012-11-15 10:40:34 AM  
Do it.
 
2012-11-15 10:53:28 AM  
Ashame he didn't just do that first and spare everyone else instead.

I still think his mom is probably deeply involved in why he's such a messed up punk, but the media seems to have bought into her crap and left her alone.
 
2012-11-15 11:10:46 AM  
I truly wish more sociopaths would just kill themselves.
 
2012-11-15 12:15:17 PM  
I want to read the story on how he choked to death on his own detached penis.
 
2012-11-15 12:15:36 PM  
You know what? Do the opposite, don't help him to die, force him to live

/best torture is life sometimes
 
2012-11-15 12:17:36 PM  
He wasn't successful?

Damn.
 
2012-11-15 12:17:37 PM  
That picture is creepier than the carrot-top ones
 
2012-11-15 12:17:47 PM  
FTA: "CBS4 has learned from reliable law enforcement sources that James Holmes has made multiple suicide attempts in recent days, and at least one of the attempts led to a brief hospitalization."

Translation: "We beat the ever-livin' dogshiat outta that guy"
 
2012-11-15 12:18:15 PM  
FTFA: another involving him jumping off his bed.

HE COULD HAVE SPRAINED AN ANKLE!
 
2012-11-15 12:18:52 PM  
I'm sure the families of the victims would love to finish the job for him.

Too morbid for a Thursday?
 
2012-11-15 12:19:47 PM  
Put him alone in a locked room with a gun and one bullet. If he wants to kill himself let him.
 
2012-11-15 12:20:06 PM  

gilgigamesh: Did he use a rake?

Hahahaha. I'm just kidding. I don't really care.


www.dudemeetsdad.com

Came for this. kind of disappoined.

/hot
 
2012-11-15 12:20:08 PM  
Did they award him a Nobel Prize?
 
2012-11-15 12:21:34 PM  
oh... side SHOW bob

arcadeartlibrary.com
 
2012-11-15 12:22:34 PM  

Carth: Put him alone in a locked room with a gun and one bullet. If he wants to kill himself let him.


Won't happen. These aren't suicide attempts; at best, they're cries for attention.
 
2012-11-15 12:22:37 PM  

FinFangFark: Too morbid for a Thursday?


I'm in a foul mood this Thursday so the morbid-er the better-er.
 
2012-11-15 12:24:21 PM  
Holmes jailhouse suicide attempts were viewed as being "half-hearted," with one of them involving him running into a wall in his jail cell, another involving him jumping off his bed.

LOL WUT?
 
2012-11-15 12:24:31 PM  
I can see it now. He kills himself, and his family sues the city, state, and everyone in the world for criminal negligence, wrongful death, and loss of notoriety. They get a fat payout, splurge on a house they can't afford the taxes for, 10 cars, and finally die penniless in a gutter sucking cold gravy out of old Kentucky fried chicken containers.

//could happen.
 
2012-11-15 12:25:05 PM  
So he's a sad clown, then?
 
2012-11-15 12:25:33 PM  

Buck Henderson: Did they award him a Nobel Prize?


No, because he's obviously not a liberal. He might win a prize from the Koch brothers though.
 
2012-11-15 12:27:32 PM  
One police issued one of these
www.enemyforces.net

theeffortlesschic.com

one of these
www.policemag.com

www.decodeunicode.org

Taxpayer money well spent
 
2012-11-15 12:27:57 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I can see it now. He kills himself, and his family sues the city, state, and everyone in the world for criminal negligence, wrongful death, and loss of notoriety. They get a fat payout, splurge on a house they can't afford the taxes for, 10 cars, and finally die penniless in a gutter sucking cold gravy out of old Kentucky fried chicken containers.

//could happen.


Getting a jury to award a family money for a guy committing suicide would be nigh impossible here in Colorado.
 
2012-11-15 12:28:22 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: FinFangFark: Too morbid for a Thursday?

I'm in a foul mood this Thursday so the morbid-er the better-er.


*hugs and squeezes* feel better?

And yeah, I think some inmates should help him out with this. There's a special level of hell for people who kill children.

Unavailable for comment:

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2012-11-15 12:28:28 PM  
I once read a great science fiction story about using the brains of criminals to guide interplanetary probes. Eternal life, the complete inability to move or control anything...all systems were controlled through the autonomic system of the brain...out of your control and totally conscious the entire time. this dude is a candidate. Not wishing death for him...not wishing him locked up forever...sending him on a LOOOOOOOng mission to the next star system.
 
2012-11-15 12:28:36 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: I truly wish more sociopaths would just kill themselves.


That is basically 180o against their nature.
 
2012-11-15 12:30:32 PM  
I was reading through Game of Thrones, and really liked the description of the sky prison thing.

We could do something similar in real life. Take an antenna tower about 50-60 stories high, and put a 7x7 box on top of it. Remove one wall. Tilt box 5 degrees towards open wall. Provide food daily, and wait for the "blue to call him".

Start a pool on how long it takes til he swan dives, and give the proceeds to his victims and their families.
 
2012-11-15 12:31:13 PM  

GranoblasticMan: Carth: Put him "alone" in a locked room with a gun and one bullet. If he wants to kill himself let him.

Won't happen. These aren't suicide attempts; at best, they're cries for attention.


Better?
 
2012-11-15 12:33:06 PM  

kiwimoogle84: *hugs and squeezes* feel better?


A little bit, thaaank you!

The Muthaship: CapeFearCadaver: I truly wish more sociopaths would just kill themselves.

That is basically 180o against their nature.


I know. Maybe we could implant something in their brains when their diagnosed that makes them want to hurt themselves instead of others? Like a quick dart gun when their not looking...
 
2012-11-15 12:33:09 PM  
Robin Lopez frowns leaves mouth agape upon your comparison.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-15 12:33:34 PM  
Stepping on a rake?
 
2012-11-15 12:34:12 PM  
Dang - should read the thread first
 
2012-11-15 12:34:31 PM  
He has a smile like Paul Ryan.
 
2012-11-15 12:34:38 PM  

special20: Buck Henderson: Did they award him a Nobel Prize?

No, because he's obviously not a liberal. He might win a prize from the Koch brothers though.


Not a fan of chemistry?
 
2012-11-15 12:34:42 PM  
*they're

ugg.
 
2012-11-15 12:36:31 PM  
How much must it suck to be a public defender for a pos like this?
 
2012-11-15 12:37:05 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Maybe we could implant something in their brains when their diagnosed that makes them want to hurt themselves instead of others? Like a quick dart gun when their not looking...


I am all for it.
 
2012-11-15 12:37:52 PM  

Private_Citizen: I was reading through Game of Thrones, and really liked the description of the sky prison thing.

We could do something similar in real life. Take an antenna tower about 50-60 stories high, and put a 7x7 box on top of it. Remove one wall. Tilt box 5 degrees towards open wall. Provide food daily, and wait for the "blue to call him".

Start a pool on how long it takes til he swan dives, and give the proceeds to his victims and their families.


I second this. If they can toss a Lannister in there, the criminals should be right at home.
 
2012-11-15 12:38:02 PM  
Take care to assure he DOES NOT kill himself.

I want him to stare at four walls every day for 60 years, and realize the only way he is getting out of that place is in a coffin.

Not to mention all the fun the other cons will have with him.
 
2012-11-15 12:39:02 PM  

olddinosaur: Not to mention all the fun the other cons will have with him.


I bet he never spends a day in genpop.
 
2012-11-15 12:40:54 PM  

farbiez: How much must it suck to be a public defender for a pos like this?


A local POS has already had two public defenders withdraw: Link

I feel for the next one.
 
2012-11-15 12:42:15 PM  
Do or do not, there is do try.
 
2012-11-15 12:42:32 PM  

Buck Henderson: special20: Buck Henderson: Did they award him a Nobel Prize?

No, because he's obviously not a liberal. He might win a prize from the Koch brothers though.

Not a fan of chemistry?


I'm an avid practioner of attempted chemistry.

/half-hearted? Which half, atria or ventricles?
 
2012-11-15 12:46:36 PM  

Sybarite: I thought we'd given up on the Sideshow Bob thing weeks ago.


You'll get over it. ®
 
2012-11-15 12:47:12 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: I want to read the story on how he choked to death on his own detached penis.


"MacGruber it's coonth"
 
2012-11-15 12:49:09 PM  
normally for the death penalty and would like to see someone like this go out painfully but in his case he wants to die and I would rather see him sit in a cell and go ape shiat crazy (I know, I know) forever..
or until someone gets their hands on him and takes him out very painfully..


/tax payers money well spent IMHO
 
2012-11-15 12:54:23 PM  
Good... Let him do it!
 
2012-11-15 01:04:56 PM  
FTA: Law enforcement contacts, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told CBS4 investigator Brian Maass that Holmes jailhouse suicide attempts were viewed as being "half-hearted," with one of them involving him running into a wall in his jail cell, another involving him jumping off his bed."

lol
There has got to be tape of this somewhere.
 
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