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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Roger Ebert on Breaking Dawn 2: "At the very least, the movie deserves credit for having a mother completely botch her daughter's name, confusing 'Renesmee' for the Loch Ness Monster"   (rogerebert.suntimes.com) divider line 89
    More: Amusing, Roger Ebert, renesmee  
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4657 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 15 Nov 2012 at 12:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-15 09:03:14 AM
Lllllllllllladies.
 
2012-11-15 09:32:33 AM

Sybarite: Lllllllllllladies.


I'm Harpo. I'M HARPO.
 
2012-11-15 10:01:37 AM
Line?
 
2012-11-15 12:35:04 PM
 
2012-11-15 12:36:32 PM
Seriously, the Rifftrax made that movie not only watchable, but hilarious.

/It's why Mike was always my favorite.
 
2012-11-15 12:38:17 PM
Am I the only one who read that as a review for Red Dawn?

WOLVERINES!!!
 
2012-11-15 12:38:36 PM
Taking my wife to see it this weekend.
Will be very worth my time (wink).

/they're just chick flicks, Earth needs to relax
 
2012-11-15 12:40:03 PM
TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?
 
2012-11-15 12:40:05 PM
2 things I expect from this movie.

1) The Rifftrax.

2) Spoony reviewing it while drinking it into oblivion.
 
2012-11-15 12:41:29 PM
Saw it last night.

Bad bad acting.

Except for the evil vampire leader who thought he was in a remake of Harry Potter.

Nice robes though.
 
2012-11-15 12:44:22 PM
From the trailer I'm guessing that they changed the end of the book, which is disappointing. I was looking forward to the Rifftrax of a movie where two sides get ready for a battle they decide not to have at the end.
 
2012-11-15 12:54:01 PM

Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?


Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?
 
2012-11-15 12:54:09 PM

Lumbar Puncture: From the trailer I'm guessing that they changed the end of the book, which is disappointing. I was looking forward to the Rifftrax of a movie where two sides get ready for a battle they decide not to have at the end.


I don't know; it depends on how they change it. If the ancient sect of uber-powerful vampires decides to slaughter the entire Cullen clan, and then commit mass suicide in shame over not knowing what the fark a dhampir is, I could get behing that.
 
2012-11-15 01:00:40 PM

Lumbar Puncture: From the trailer I'm guessing that they changed the end of the book, which is disappointing. I was looking forward to the Rifftrax of a movie where two sides get ready for a battle they decide not to have at the end.


I am hoping for a battle starting on the snowy battle field, then we hear a voice call out "Bella...Bella..." Then the scene cuts to an autistic child starring into a snow globe.
 
2012-11-15 01:00:46 PM

DarkPascual: 2 things I expect from this movie.

1) The Rifftrax.

2) Spoony reviewing it while drinking it into oblivion.


The "Breaking Dawn, Part1" review/drunken rant was the first video of his I ever saw. I eagerly await the one for part 2 (and his Final Fantasy XIII review).
 
2012-11-15 01:01:11 PM
Thank God the idea of Pretty Teen Vampires is finished......
 
2012-11-15 01:02:07 PM
i171.photobucket.com 

Mr. Ebert's review.
 
2012-11-15 01:02:29 PM

Millennium: Lumbar Puncture: From the trailer I'm guessing that they changed the end of the book, which is disappointing. I was looking forward to the Rifftrax of a movie where two sides get ready for a battle they decide not to have at the end.

I don't know; it depends on how they change it. If the ancient sect of uber-powerful vampires decides to slaughter the entire Cullen clan, and then commit mass suicide in shame over not knowing what the fark a dhampir is, I could get behing that.


Vampire Hunter D would kick all their asses.
 
2012-11-15 01:07:25 PM

Millennium: Lumbar Puncture: From the trailer I'm guessing that they changed the end of the book, which is disappointing. I was looking forward to the Rifftrax of a movie where two sides get ready for a battle they decide not to have at the end.

I don't know; it depends on how they change it. If the ancient sect of uber-powerful vampires decides to slaughter the entire Cullen clan, and then commit mass suicide in shame over not knowing what the fark a dhampir is, I could get behing that.


Only is it's completely out of nowhere ultra gore.
 
2012-11-15 01:08:04 PM
I heard Ebert's jaw dropped when he watched this abonimation.
 
2012-11-15 01:08:57 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?


Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?
 
2012-11-15 01:11:02 PM

Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?


Sun Tzu's The Art of War?
 
2012-11-15 01:12:40 PM

Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?


The Necronomicon?
 
2012-11-15 01:14:36 PM

Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?


The first Twilight novel?
 
2012-11-15 01:16:51 PM

Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?


I'd bet Romeo and Juliet.
 
2012-11-15 01:18:41 PM
Seeing Breaking Dawn Part 2 get decent reviews. My guess is that people are thankful it's the final movie and that we can move on to The Hobbit next month.
 
2012-11-15 01:18:44 PM

Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?


Everyone Poops?
 
2012-11-15 01:22:12 PM

Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?


Go, Dog, Go?
 
2012-11-15 01:22:56 PM

Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?


Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?
 
2012-11-15 01:25:06 PM
"Renesmee"

Attention Twitards: In the unlikely and unfortunate event that you do spawn sometime in your future, before naming your future crotchfruit "Renesmee", please consider drowning it instead.


You'd be doing it a favor.
 
2012-11-15 01:29:44 PM

SuperChuck: Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?


Blade, the graphic novel version?
 
2012-11-15 01:35:59 PM

WizardofToast: Seeing Breaking Dawn Part 2 get decent reviews. My guess is that people are thankful it's the final movie and that we can move on to The Hobbit next month.


hooray! A franchise! Let's attach ourselves despite the mediocre quality!
 
2012-11-15 01:41:09 PM

Snapper Carr: "Renesmee"

Attention Twitards: In the unlikely and unfortunate event that you do spawn sometime in your future, before naming your future crotchfruit "Renesmee", please consider drowning it instead.


You'd be doing it a favor.


Given the hate non-fans have for the series, I can see job applicants with that name being treated like those named Fuquan and Shabeeze.
 
2012-11-15 01:41:40 PM

MysticSavage: SuperChuck: Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?

Blade, the graphic novel version?


Goodbye, Mr. Chips?
 
2012-11-15 01:43:39 PM

moothemagiccow: WizardofToast: Seeing Breaking Dawn Part 2 get decent reviews. My guess is that people are thankful it's the final movie and that we can move on to The Hobbit next month.

hooray! A franchise! Let's attach ourselves despite the mediocre quality!


What, precisely, makes you think The Hobbit will be mediocre?
 
2012-11-15 01:45:15 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: MysticSavage: SuperChuck: Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?

Blade, the graphic novel version?

Goodbye, Mr. Chips?


The 1967 greater metropolitan Memphis telephone directory and yellow pages?
 
2012-11-15 01:50:38 PM

Snapper Carr: "Renesmee"

Attention Twitards: In the unlikely and unfortunate event that you do spawn sometime in your future, before naming your future crotchfruit "Renesmee", please consider drowning it instead.


You'd be doing it a favor.


Too late.
 
2012-11-15 01:54:42 PM

Uzzah: To The Escape Zeppelin!: MysticSavage: SuperChuck: Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?

Blade, the graphic novel version?

Goodbye, Mr. Chips?

The 1967 greater metropolitan Memphis telephone directory and yellow pages?


Midnight Sun?
 
2012-11-15 01:55:34 PM

Uzzah: To The Escape Zeppelin!: MysticSavage: SuperChuck: Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?

Blade, the graphic novel version?

Goodbye, Mr. Chips?

The 1967 greater metropolitan Memphis telephone directory and yellow pages?


The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?
 
2012-11-15 01:58:35 PM

Snapper Carr: Attention Twitards: In the unlikely and unfortunate event that you do spawn sometime in your future, before naming your future crotchfruit "Renesmee", please consider drowning it instead.


You're waaaaaaaaaaay too late for that.
 
2012-11-15 02:01:00 PM

Snapper Carr: Attention Twitards: In the unlikely and unfortunate event that you do spawn sometime in your future, before naming your future crotchfruit "Renesmee", please consider drowning it instead.


Actually, it occurred to me--do the Twitard mothers get all mopey because the infant didn't get chewed out of their uteruses, or do they get a C-section and have the attending wear pointy fangs and make OMNOMNOM noises while working?
 
2012-11-15 02:01:10 PM

whosits_112: Seriously, the Rifftrax made that movie not only watchable, but hilarious.

/It's why Mike was always my favorite.


I couldn't get through the 3rd movie all the way through with the Rifftrax, it's just way to farking long man.

It makes me not want to watch these ones because:

1) There was no reason why they had to break it up into 2 movies
2) Boring..... just boring
 
2012-11-15 02:02:24 PM

twat_waffle: Uzzah: To The Escape Zeppelin!: MysticSavage: SuperChuck: Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?

Blade, the graphic novel version?

Goodbye, Mr. Chips?

The 1967 greater metropolitan Memphis telephone directory and yellow pages?

The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?


101 garlic recipes? Link
 
2012-11-15 02:06:14 PM

twat_waffle: Uzzah: To The Escape Zeppelin!: MysticSavage: SuperChuck: Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?

Blade, the graphic novel version?

Goodbye, Mr. Chips?

The 1967 greater metropolitan Memphis telephone directory and yellow pages?

The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?


Slarbifast's compendium of Vogon poetry?
 
2012-11-15 02:13:14 PM

twat_waffle: Uzzah: To The Escape Zeppelin!: MysticSavage: SuperChuck: Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?

Blade, the graphic novel version?

Goodbye, Mr. Chips?

The 1967 greater metropolitan Memphis telephone directory and yellow pages?

The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?


Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom?
 
2012-11-15 02:22:27 PM

shortymac: whosits_112: Seriously, the Rifftrax made that movie not only watchable, but hilarious.

/It's why Mike was always my favorite.

I couldn't get through the 3rd movie all the way through with the Rifftrax, it's just way to farking long man.

It makes me not want to watch these ones because:

1) There was no reason why they had to break it up into 2 movies
2) Boring..... just boring


Well so far, I have only seen the first one with the Rifftrax (refuse to see it without). I'll withhold judgement until I see the others. As for the reason behind splitting the last two up? $$$$$$$$. Gotta fleece the Twitards.
 
2012-11-15 02:26:25 PM

whosits_112: Well so far, I have only seen the first one with the Rifftrax (refuse to see it without). I'll withhold judgement until I see the others. As for the reason behind splitting the last two up? $$$$$$$$.


See also: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Parts 1 and 2; The Hobbit, Parts 1, 2, and 3(!).
 
2012-11-15 02:32:04 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: Am I the only one who read that as a review for Red Dawn?

WOLVERINES!!!


No, you're not, and unfortunately it doesn't look much better. How seriously can you take North Korea as an enemy?? After Soviet Union + Communist Latin America.
 
2012-11-15 02:32:08 PM

verbaltoxin: twat_waffle: Uzzah: To The Escape Zeppelin!: MysticSavage: SuperChuck: Big Beef Burrito: Polish Hussar: Great Janitor: Dr. Whoof: Flappyhead: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Millennium: TFA: Edward shows Bella their new honeymoon cottage, which unlike most brides, she decides is "perfect" even before looking inside. When she does, it's stocked with wall to wall books, and you'll never guess which one she eventually takes down from its shelf. Never ever.

50 Shades of Grey?

Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding?

Gibbons History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire?

The Necronomicon?

The first Twilight novel?

Everyone Poops?

Go, Dog, Go?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?

Blade, the graphic novel version?

Goodbye, Mr. Chips?

The 1967 greater metropolitan Memphis telephone directory and yellow pages?

The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?

Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom?


Schindler's List?
 
2012-11-15 02:33:46 PM

ColSanders: whosits_112: Well so far, I have only seen the first one with the Rifftrax (refuse to see it without). I'll withhold judgement until I see the others. As for the reason behind splitting the last two up? $$$$$$$$.

See also: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Parts 1 and 2; The Hobbit, Parts 1, 2, and 3(!).


SERIOUSLY! I was flabbergasted when I found out it was split in two, but how they hell did they figure to bust it into a trilogy??
 
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