This doesn't surprise me in the least. I've had a tendency to self-isolate frequently over the past few years and social interactions now are significantly more difficult for me.

Isolation from other humans can lead to inability to relate. I'm curious how loneliness factors in.

I'm used to isolation. I was an unwanted and neglected child. For a few years, I was doing okay. But after she died, I started building a wall. I'm lonely as hell, but some nights, there isn't enough money in the world to get me out of the house.

/Love is for other people.

Jesus Hotdog Christ. This thread already depresses me.

hell is other people

Uh, the inability to relate to morons others is the cause of loneliness, not the other way around. If only there weren't so goddam many morons others.

I don't mind relating, I just rarely get much out of it. I don't read people's cues well, so I don't get a lot of insight on who they are.

Or maybe they are lonely because they are less able to relate to others

DNRTFA

GranoblasticMan: This doesn't surprise me in the least. I've had a tendency to self-isolate frequently over the past few years and social interactions now are significantly more difficult for me.

I'm this way. I'm capable of being rather good socially, but I tend to go long stretches with limited interaction. There is always an awkward phase filled with gaffes when I get back to being around people more.

i upped my meds-up yours: I don't mind relating, I just rarely get much out of it. I don't read people's cues well, so I don't get a lot of insight on who they are.

I read other people's social cues really well, actually. It's just that the social cues generally mean "We don't want to hang out with you."

I work tech support. I interact with people as much I ever care to. At the end of the day I'm so emotionally drained I often just stare at a wall. Or Fark.

farking Farker farks.

When I was in college I took a gig as a Resident Assistant over Winter Break. There were only about 15 students in the one dorm that remained open, they were all from Japan and couldn't make it home. But they did have enough to go on a ski vacation from the day after classes ended until the day before they started again.

It was about three weeks of bliss. I spoke to my boss once a day for a few seconds; she just wanted to check on me to see if I needed anything. Once a week I would go and buy groceries at a place that was open 24 hours. I'd usually go at 2 AM.

Mostly I spent the time playing Final Fantasy VII, reading, playing music and working on a few projects.

Skarekrough: When I was in college I took a gig as a Resident Assistant over Winter Break. There were only about 15 students in the one dorm that remained open, they were all from Japan and couldn't make it home. But they did have enough to go on a ski vacation from the day after classes ended until the day before they started again.

It was about three weeks of bliss. I spoke to my boss once a day for a few seconds; she just wanted to check on me to see if I needed anything. Once a week I would go and buy groceries at a place that was open 24 hours. I'd usually go at 2 AM.

Mostly I spent the time playing Final Fantasy VII, reading, playing music and working on a few projects.

From the article:

In an experiment, adult mice - normally social animals - were isolated for eight weeks to induce a depressive-like state, before being introduced to a mouse they hadn't met before.

Five more week and you would have been begging for those exchange students to come back and grind out some levels for you.

...with pic of hot chick pretending to be lonely for the camera might look like.

dragonchild: I work tech support. I interact with people as much I ever care to. At the end of the day I'm so emotionally drained I often just stare at a wall.

And yet again, they never say how exactly you are supposed to reintegrate after isolation. How to get people to show the patience required to not look at you as if you are a complete sociopathic loser who is setting off all of their evolutionary signals to run. How to make eye contact without the shame of the knowledge that you can not make it in their world without their pity.

Too_many_Brians: And yet again, they never say how exactly you are supposed to reintegrate after isolation. How to get people to show the patience required to not look at you as if you are a complete sociopathic loser who is setting off all of their evolutionary signals to run. How to make eye contact without the shame of the knowledge that you can not make it in their world without their pity.

Because that wasn't the scope of the study, it was done with rats, and rats don't have sociopaths.

Also try furries. Wearing fur suits should help with body signals.

dragonchild: I work tech support. I interact with people as much I ever care to. At the end of the day I'm so emotionally drained I often just stare at a wall.

Wife did that until recently for Comcast. It was the most soul-sucking job imaginable, talking to crass morons of the highest caliber who didn't want help, they just wanted to scream at someone. It's probably a good thing she's not doing that anymore, or she likely would've wound up atop a tower with an AK-47, picking people off.

GibbyTheMole: dragonchild: I work tech support. I interact with people as much I ever care to. At the end of the day I'm so emotionally drained I often just stare at a wall.

Wife did that until recently for Comcast. It was the most soul-sucking job imaginable, talking to crass morons of the highest caliber who didn't want help, they just wanted to scream at someone. It's probably a good thing she's not doing that anymore, or she likely would've wound up atop a tower with an AK-47, picking people off.

So this is why Comcast's customer support blows ass. You are there to help people who are pissed off because their over priced cable and internet arent working.

kroonermanblack: Too_many_Brians: And yet again, they never say how exactly you are supposed to reintegrate after isolation. How to get people to show the patience required to not look at you as if you are a complete sociopathic loser who is setting off all of their evolutionary signals to run. How to make eye contact without the shame of the knowledge that you can not make it in their world without their pity.

Because that wasn't the scope of the study, it was done with rats, and rats don't have sociopaths.

Also try furries. Wearing fur suits should help with body signals.

How do you know rats don't have sociopaths? They might just be better at hiding it then humans.

I would rather stay locked in my room then deal with furries in the florida heat. urg.

Too_many_Brians: And yet again, they never say how exactly you are supposed to reintegrate after isolation. How to get people to show the patience required to not look at you as if you are a complete sociopathic loser who is setting off all of their evolutionary signals to run. How to make eye contact without the shame of the knowledge that you can not make it in their world without their pity.

speaking as somebody who went through several years of depression and had to start over with new friends and relationships, public service is the best starting point

GibbyTheMole: dragonchild: I work tech support. I interact with people as much I ever care to. At the end of the day I'm so emotionally drained I often just stare at a wall.

Wife did that until recently for Comcast. It was the most soul-sucking job imaginable, talking to crass morons of the highest caliber who didn't want help, they just wanted to scream at someone. It's probably a good thing she's not doing that anymore, or she likely would've wound up atop a tower with an AK-47, picking people off.

An AK-47 is not the gun you want to be doing that with.

It also probably bumps up their paranoia and makes them more apt to be a border line personality. Just sayin.

MasterPython: An AK-47 is not the gun you want to be doing that with.

Actually properly maintained, with single shot selected and a scope the AK-47 will be accurate enough to do the job and have the range to hit targets. Although it will depend on how skilled the marksmen is obviously.

It's actually a pretty good assault rifle, it's just usually depicted as a POS in TV and movies because it's the weapon 'the bad guys' use and thus must be horribly inaccurate, jam, run out of bullets and fall apart at random.

Sure the right tool for the right job applies I agree and I also agree there are much better things for distance work. But if all you've got is a hammer... everything is a nail.

Gunny Highway

"So this is why Comcast's customer support blows ass. You are there to help people who are pissed off because their over priced cable and internet arent working."

It is overpriced, and it does suck. I sure wouldn't have Comcast. But for instance, when some jackoff calls in and just starts screaming, and refuses to give the customer support agent their account info so the agent can actually maybe find out what the problem is and fix it, that is the fault of the idiot customer.

Believe me when I say there are a lot of farking idiot customers.

Once you've been alone long enough, it becomes extremely difficult to be with someone.
I've learned this the hard way.

After a day at work I prefer to be alone in quiet silence. I would go out an interact more but Im saving up money so I just tend to stick around the house. Problem is the nights where I want to be left alone the most are when my roomate is at her drunkest and has to have hours of biatching about EVERRRRYTHING. She yelled at me because I didnt clean up the burnt mess she left on/in the oven. If I woulda started to talk to her it woulda ended in her death so I just turned up the volume on the TV.

AdamK: Too_many_Brians: And yet again, they never say how exactly you are supposed to reintegrate after isolation. How to get people to show the patience required to not look at you as if you are a complete sociopathic loser who is setting off all of their evolutionary signals to run. How to make eye contact without the shame of the knowledge that you can not make it in their world without their pity.

speaking as somebody who went through several years of depression and had to start over with new friends and relationships, public service is the best starting point

As someone who is forced to accept help due to a disability, I sympathize. Regarding pity, half a loaf is better than none. If being the recipient of pity bothers you so much, then start keeping a list of who did what for you. Whether you choose to pay it back or pay it forward, it negates the inequality that pity engenders in the first place.

That's probably why I took AdamK's advice years ago and went into ESL tutoring.

I don't mind the whole being alone part since I prefer to spend time alone or at least with my husband in the house. However, I have noticed after isolating myself for a few years due to a depression in my early 20's, I found I was unable to talk to people like a normal human being. I didn't have a lot of problems with this before, at least it never felt awkward. Afterwards, it always felt awkward to talk to people unless I'm really comfortable/familiar with them. Also, I got into the habit of talking to myself and sometimes I just say stuff out loud that I'm thinking and don't realize I'm doing it until after/during it's happened and I'm afraid it makes me look crazy. Also I don't articulate myself as good as I think I used to. It really was damaging for me.

I find it hard after being isolated by my abusive now ex-wife for 4.5 years to get myself back out there. The time restrictions with raising two kids at the same time isn't helping.

Plant Rights Activist: hell is other people

And life is a room with no exit.

Hell, no need for a study, they just coulda called me.
Or visited Fark.

gulogulo: Jesus Hotdog Christ. This thread already depresses me.

this

MasterPython: GibbyTheMole: dragonchild: I work tech support. I interact with people as much I ever care to. At the end of the day I'm so emotionally drained I often just stare at a wall.

Wife did that until recently for Comcast. It was the most soul-sucking job imaginable, talking to crass morons of the highest caliber who didn't want help, they just wanted to scream at someone. It's probably a good thing she's not doing that anymore, or she likely would've wound up atop a tower with an AK-47, picking people off.

An AK-47 is not the gun you want to be doing that with.



Agrees.

I agree with this article 100%. I have a great job that allows me to work from home, which I do three days a week. Over the last decade I've managed to carve out a niche that not one other person at the company wanted to do (automation scripting) and it's something I enjoy, and it's something I do alone. I live alone and generally only get social interaction at work and with my few close friends I work with. I'm 100% ok with this. The rest of the time I'm by myself doing whatever interests me. I'm completely happy with my life. The thing that gets me is articles like this always have sad looking people sitting on the edges of their beds or curled up in tiny balls wailing away at how bad things are. I firmly believe some people were genetically programmed to be happier alone and I believe I'm one of those people.

Too_many_Brians: And yet again, they never say how exactly you are supposed to reintegrate after isolation. How to get people to show the patience required to not look at you as if you are a complete sociopathic loser who is setting off all of their evolutionary signals to run. How to make eye contact without the shame of the knowledge that you can not make it in their world without their pity.

I Kinda have this problem. Getting out to "socialize" is really really hard for me. I have a few really good and really loyal friends - but they fall into the bad stereotype of hardcore game geeks. Literally they are satisfied with life just playing video games when off work. They are great friends - just REALLY boring ones. I can somewhat socialize at work but It is still quite hard. Few share my interests, and there are zero females within 10 years of my age. When I was finishing up my BS degree I realized that I had zero social interaction with but a handful of friends and none of them female. (I was doing my BS degree at an Air Force Base that had classes made up of 100% enlisted men). I purposely took classes at my community collage to re-aquiant myself with some old acquaintances hoping to forge new bonds of friendship and maybe find a girlfriend - or at least find some female fiends just to hang out with at times (that could eventually lead me to a girlfriend) Sadly this was thwarted by the acquisition of the full time job that I now work at. I know that I could take night classes - but currently I feel to stubborn to let go of my precious free time at the end of the day. Yet I feel that I need to go back eventually - at least before I turn 30.

Coelacanth: I'm used to isolation. I was an unwanted and neglected child. For a few years, I was doing okay. But after she died, I started building a wall. I'm lonely as hell, but some nights, there isn't enough money in the world to get me out of the house.

/Love is for other people.

[kitten hugs Ancient Fishy]

I don't mind being alone for long stretches of time. But sometimes I feel like the walls close in and I NEED to get out and just go peoplewatching for a few hours.

Kittypie070: Coelacanth: I'm used to isolation. I was an unwanted and neglected child. For a few years, I was doing okay. But after she died, I started building a wall. I'm lonely as hell, but some nights, there isn't enough money in the world to get me out of the house.

/Love is for other people.

[kitten hugs Ancient Fishy]

I don't mind being alone for long stretches of time. But sometimes I feel like the walls close in and I NEED to get out and just go peoplewatching for a few hours.

Peoplewatching is fun! Humans far fascinating, from afar.

MayoSlather: I'm this way. I'm capable of being rather good socially, but I tend to go long stretches with limited interaction. There is always an awkward phase filled with gaffes when I get back to being around people more.

This.

Martian_Astronomer: I read other people's social cues really well, actually. It's just that the social cues generally mean "We don't want to hang out with you."

This.

Too_many_Brians: And yet again, they never say how exactly you are supposed to reintegrate after isolation. How to get people to show the patience required to not look at you as if you are a complete sociopathic loser who is setting off all of their evolutionary signals to run. How to make eye contact without the shame of the knowledge that you can not make it in their world without their pity.

And in my darker moments, this.


I'm know that I'm super late to this and that no one will probably read it, but I'll say this anyway. I realize that in many ways I'm fortunate. I'm not without things like food or shelter and I have the means to attempt to pursue happiness. But at the same time I'm so very unable to mesh with and genuinely connect to people. I'm different than most. From my personality to my interests. Part of me doesn't want to stop being me but part of me desperately wishes that I could be like other people so that I could find happiness.

For the most part I do prefer a measure of solitude. But I also desire to have that one person who is able to make me feel not alone. To make me feel wanted. So, I'm in my own personal hell that exists solely within my mind but yet I can't fully complain about my life because outwardly I'm much better off than most.

It's... hard to find reasons to give a shiat about anything, myself included, some days.

I want to get out there and try to meet people. I just don't know how. Most people meet their friends at either school or work. Neither are an option for me. Unless I go to the local community college in an attempt to force interaction. Which I might end up doing.

I'm lonely as hell and I don't know what to do about it. I'm such a capable person in many regards. But when it comes to healing a heart, I'm lost and afraid.

/27 years old and never known what it's like to be genuinely loved.
//There was one girl, but she was just using me (for years) to get out of her bad family situation. She loved what I represented, but not me.
///I thought she loved me, she told me that she loved me, but it was all lies.
//Shattered my heart.
/The internet is the only place that where I can find people to talk to about it. Which is extra depressing.

Kittypie070: [kitten hugs Ancient Fishy]

I don't mind being alone for long stretches of time. But sometimes I feel like the walls close in and I NEED to get out and just go peoplewatching for a few hours.


Thank you, sweetheart.

CtrlAltDestroy: /27 years old and never known what it's like to be genuinely loved.

I know that feel bro.