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(Team Coco) Video Conan O'Brien reviews Hitman: Absolution. Wants to know two things: 1) Can the game just be about the hot naked girl in the shower, and 2) WHEN did he get so RIPPED?   (teamcoco.com) divider line 76
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12731 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2012 at 12:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-15 03:00:31 PM

tlchwi02: you could unlock the slienced ballers by completing challenges in most of the hitman games i played. also i seem to recall you could dual weild one of the ballers with the silenced 9mm and then just shoot the beretta, but still having the "oh crap he saw me" firepower available.


alright. I'll take my pessimist's hat off.

And yeah a game that encourages me to be not use guns when they're available are always adored. I'm looking at you Mirror's Edge and Half Life 2 Episode 1.
 
2012-11-15 03:02:09 PM

inner ted: thecpt: moothemagiccow: These are the best conan bits, probably ever

I don't know, the cut to car chases and of course chuck norris lever are classics. Can't find good videos as it seems NBC universal found and killed everyone who ever kept them.

inner ted: gamersadface

Yeah. This game might still be true to the core but making him ripped, naked lady in shower, seemingly forgiving stealth system, and I don't know the story yet but not have 47 always struggling with his concept of existence kind of alienate me.

Not going to hate, its just I really liked what made Hitman the Hitman series what it was.

that's just it - foregoing the main element: stealth is just how they ruined Splinter Cell.

i always loved the "ballers" (twin chrome .45's) but i don't think i ever even equipped them (except for plinking in the church yard) cause they aren't exactly 'stealthy'

Treygreen13: inner ted: is that the mission at the theater??

Yep.

And of course, the guy getting his face exploded on stage for an audience lures the other mark out... and then OOPS a lighting rig falls on him. Such an unfortunate accident. Really, just a bad string of luck for those two.

Your character isn't even really under any suspicion. There's a couple of other ways to do it, but that's the best in my opinion.

goddamitsomuch - now i'm going to have to put halo4 on hold when i get home and reboot that (after digging it out of the piles of games i don't play but can't trade in for $3) cause i only remember doing the pistol swap & watching the show.

now there i learn i missed another target and could have done an even MORE elaborate "show"

well done sir, well done indeed.


There's a few ways, replacing the gun and dropping the lights is the best way, simply because it's the most stealthy and leaves the least evidence and only kills the two targets. You can also kill/knock out the co-star, take his costume, and perform the show yourself, killing the guy on stage in front of everyone without anyone noticing, at least until they notice he's not getting back up. You can also take up position with a sniper rifle and take the guy out at the exact same moment he's supposed to be shot. Or you can drop lights both targets, but that takes out several non-targets as well.
 
2012-11-15 03:11:55 PM

Treygreen13: inner ted: also: the mission (like the first one iirc) at the vineyard - i got such a freaking kick out of pushing dudes over the railing to *splat* on the floor below... which made such a great distraction & was just freaking hilarious.

There's a guy in the snowy level with the Christmas orgy.. you're supposed to get him while he sits in the hot tub. There are about a dozen witnesses just standing there and he never leaves. The way you're "supposed" to get him is poison his beverage... but if you're lucky you can throw a remote mine from the floor above into the hot tub and then explode everyone in it as soon as it lands. Hilarious stuff to see everyone just scatter. Sometimes the game spots you, sometimes it doesn't.

Also, in Curtains Down - it's not effective for your final mission, but one of the more badass things you can do in that mission is knock out the co-star, put on his uniform, and then stand on your mark and just splatter the target from a foot away while everyone watches. And everyone claps and applauds for about 15 seconds and then they realize that he's really dead and you're not the co-star and then you spin around and ice the 2nd target and just run out.


i seriously need to play through this again. i know i'm all nostalgic now, but dang... so many good things in that game. i want to say i put on the other costume and did the shooting myself - but i know i missed the 'drop the lighting on the targets'

and killing the guy in the hottub was hard - it took me forever to figure out the poison - tossing the mine into the tub is just genius

this is why i love fark
 
2012-11-15 03:14:15 PM

inner ted: and killing the guy in the hottub was hard - it took me forever to figure out the poison - tossing the mine into the tub is just genius


There's another way to do the hot tub thing but it also kills a lot of innocents. You can go down below the hot tub (it has a glass bottom) and shoot it with a silenced weapon. It cracks, and everyone in it falls to their death.
 
2012-11-15 03:26:53 PM

DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW


She even has a tat that screams, "Put hands here."

How many other chicks do you know (that aren't strippers) who would put something educational on their body?

Let's wait until we see more evidence...
 
2012-11-15 03:38:48 PM

Treygreen13: inner ted: and killing the guy in the hottub was hard - it took me forever to figure out the poison - tossing the mine into the tub is just genius

There's another way to do the hot tub thing but it also kills a lot of innocents. You can go down below the hot tub (it has a glass bottom) and shoot it with a silenced weapon. It cracks, and everyone in it falls to their death.


But you have to sing 'It's raining men' when you do that.

/replayed so many missions just to find new ways to kill the target
//rigging the bbq grill was fun
///stupid teddy bear inside the window blowing my cover
 
2012-11-15 03:39:35 PM

kcfarker: DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW

She even has a tat that screams, "Put hands here."

How many other chicks do you know (that aren't strippers) who would put something educational on their body?

Let's wait until we see more evidence...


She had a matching tattoo on the other hip. The message it conveyed was pretty clear.

I do have a few more pics of her, but I'm not sure if I have any more that I'm not in. I'll check later.
 
2012-11-15 03:44:01 PM

thecpt: alright. I'll take my pessimist's hat off.

And yeah a game that encourages me to be not use guns when they're available are always adored. I'm looking at you Mirror's Edge and Half Life 2 Episode 1.


thing was, if you wanted to, you could shoot every single thing on the map in every map- often openly. sometimes it was actually easier to complete the missions that way (because of the silly accuracy of some of the weapons.) I know in hitman 2, i would take the LMG and go hog wild on some of the early maps for the proverbial "lulz." they even had a specific title if you killed every living thing on the map (chaos bringer or some such.) I always liked that in hitman you could do it any way you wanted to. you could do it the ultra sneaky way, the full bore psycho route, or (if you were a normal person like me) some combination of trying to be super sneaky, and having to shoot your way out when/if you failed (or reload a save.) I'm fairly confident hitman will still allow you to be the sneakiest of sneaky murder folk or start shooting wildly with equal aplomb as always.
 
2012-11-15 03:49:48 PM

tlchwi02: thecpt: alright. I'll take my pessimist's hat off.

And yeah a game that encourages me to be not use guns when they're available are always adored. I'm looking at you Mirror's Edge and Half Life 2 Episode 1.

thing was, if you wanted to, you could shoot every single thing on the map in every map- often openly. sometimes it was actually easier to complete the missions that way (because of the silly accuracy of some of the weapons.) I know in hitman 2, i would take the LMG and go hog wild on some of the early maps for the proverbial "lulz." they even had a specific title if you killed every living thing on the map (chaos bringer or some such.) I always liked that in hitman you could do it any way you wanted to. you could do it the ultra sneaky way, the full bore psycho route, or (if you were a normal person like me) some combination of trying to be super sneaky, and having to shoot your way out when/if you failed (or reload a save.) I'm fairly confident hitman will still allow you to be the sneakiest of sneaky murder folk or start shooting wildly with equal aplomb as always.


That's really the beauty of it, and hopefully they keep playing that up. There are a lot of ways to go about doing all the missions, and you can make it as difficult (and rewarding) or as easy as you want. Part of the fun of the game is going back and doing it in such a way that everyone who is supposed to be dead is, and everyone else is unaware that it happened and there's no evidence.

It's like the Sniper from Team Fortress 2 says - "I'm not a 'crazed gunman', I'm an assassin! The difference bein' one is a job and the other's mental sickness!"
 
2012-11-15 04:10:56 PM
Has anyone here played Hitman 2, on the last gen of systems?

If so, how was it?
 
2012-11-15 04:13:54 PM

doczoidberg: Has anyone here played Hitman 2, on the last gen of systems?

If so, how was it?


I did it on the original Xbox. I liked it a lot as it's not an FPS that requires fast twitch shooting responses.
 
2012-11-15 04:39:29 PM

DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW


Mind sharing the context of this picture?
 
2012-11-15 04:42:05 PM

Ebenator: DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW

Mind sharing the context of this picture?


Tatted up bag of bones takes outdoor shower whilst dateless pervs take pictures
 
2012-11-15 04:59:23 PM

zerkalo: Ebenator: DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW

Mind sharing the context of this picture?

Tatted up bag of bones takes outdoor shower whilst dateless pervs take pictures


I could piece that much together myself. Was this a porn shoot? Fark party? Bukkake? Photographer convention?
 
2012-11-15 05:01:21 PM

Ebenator: zerkalo: Ebenator: DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW

Mind sharing the context of this picture?

Tatted up bag of bones takes outdoor shower whilst dateless pervs take pictures

I could piece that much together myself. Was this a porn shoot? Fark party? Bukkake? Photographer convention?


Judging from who posted it, it's probably that same nudity event that he posts pictures from every possible chance.
 
2012-11-15 05:13:08 PM

meat0918: RoboZombie: You know, i watched the 'documentary' about Conan and thought, "Gee, this guy is a colossal douchebag!" I didn't really have an opinion on him one way or the other before that movie, but now, screw him and whatever he does.

I stopped that documentary about half way through with the same assessment.

I still find him funny, but given the situation he was in, where a lot of his material became NBC's, yeah, I'd be a dick too as I worked through my emotions.


This is a good article on how he felt about that documentary.
 
2012-11-15 05:37:59 PM

tlchwi02: thecpt: alright. I'll take my pessimist's hat off.

And yeah a game that encourages me to be not use guns when they're available are always adored. I'm looking at you Mirror's Edge and Half Life 2 Episode 1.

thing was, if you wanted to, you could shoot every single thing on the map in every map- often openly. sometimes it was actually easier to complete the missions that way (because of the silly accuracy of some of the weapons.) I know in hitman 2, i would take the LMG and go hog wild on some of the early maps for the proverbial "lulz." they even had a specific title if you killed every living thing on the map (chaos bringer or some such.) I always liked that in hitman you could do it any way you wanted to. you could do it the ultra sneaky way, the full bore psycho route, or (if you were a normal person like me) some combination of trying to be super sneaky, and having to shoot your way out when/if you failed (or reload a save.) I'm fairly confident hitman will still allow you to be the sneakiest of sneaky murder folk or start shooting wildly with equal aplomb as always.


That was the genius of the series, you could do it however you wanted. BUT, the highest rewards and ratings always came from only firing one bullet per round, only killing the intended mark, and not alerting the NPC's to your presence. Of course once you did it the "hard" way, it was always satisfying to go back and shoot every one who deserved it.
 
2012-11-15 05:42:46 PM
My favorite thing to do in Blood Money was to go back through the missions and whenever possible, kill every single NPC and guard so it just gets down to the final target cowering in a corner. The challenge is to to garrote wire or use accidents to kill as many as possible before resorting to your silenced gun...and of course never having your cover blown. I enjoy watching the body bags start to pile up until there are no more guards to collect the bodies. I have successfully killed every single party guest without being seen in the "wedding" mission which took me several hours but it was a blast.
 
2012-11-15 06:30:04 PM

Treygreen13: Ebenator: zerkalo: Ebenator: DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW

Mind sharing the context of this picture?

Tatted up bag of bones takes outdoor shower whilst dateless pervs take pictures

I could piece that much together myself. Was this a porn shoot? Fark party? Bukkake? Photographer convention?

Judging from who posted it, it's probably that same nudity event that he posts pictures from every possible chance.


That's the one.
 
2012-11-15 06:33:32 PM

DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW




Is there a back story here?

One woman at an outdoor shower, surrounded by a random assortment of dudes with cameras and one shirtless fat guy.
 
2012-11-15 06:38:24 PM

bikerific: DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW



Is there a back story here?

One woman at an outdoor shower, surrounded by a random assortment of dudes with cameras and one shirtless fat guy.


Send me an email.
 
2012-11-15 06:43:24 PM

bikerific: DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW



Is there a back story here?

One woman at an outdoor shower, surrounded by a random assortment of dudes with cameras and one shirtless fat guy.


Q: Is she naked?
A: Yes
Q: What's the problem?
 
2012-11-15 06:47:10 PM

Fark In The Duck: bikerific: DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW



Is there a back story here?

One woman at an outdoor shower, surrounded by a random assortment of dudes with cameras and one shirtless fat guy.

Q: Is she naked?
A: Yes
Q: What's the problem?


No problem with the naked. But neither is it that great a novelty. I guess I just don't consider naked women to be such a rare and precious commodity that photographers will gather like wildebeest at a watering hole.
 
2012-11-15 08:56:36 PM

LrdPhoenix: There's a few ways, replacing the gun and dropping the lights is the best way, simply because it's the most stealthy and leaves the least evidence and only kills the two targets. You can also kill/knock out the co-star, take his costume, and perform the show yourself, killing the guy on stage in front of everyone without anyone noticing, at least until they notice he's not getting back up. You can also take up position with a sniper rifle and take the guy out at the exact same moment he's supposed to be shot. Or you can drop lights both targets, but that takes out several non-targets as well.


What's great with the sniper rifle strategy is that if you shoot the target at the same moment that he's supposed to be "shot" on stage, nobody notices that he's really dead. You get the same result as if you did the pistol swap. His friend runs down and then you can blow out the chandelier for him, too, or use the rifle.

I always did the pistol swap/chandelier thing. The most badass moment for me in gaming is calmly walking out of that theatre while the entire place is on full-on panic mode, my contract done.
 
2012-11-16 08:54:58 AM

inner ted: Treygreen13: It's coming out in 5 days. Already pre-ordered. Very excited.

thecpt: Hitman 2 was unforgiving once your cover was blown. That game looks significantly easier with more attractions for the lowest common denominator. Kind of sad and might not pick it up now, but that review was pretty damn funny.

Hitman: Blood Money was the best in the series. If you never got a chance to play it, it's probably dirt cheap right now. Curtains Down was the best mission I've ever played in any game. Ever.

**spoiler of old ass game**

is that the mission at the theater??

swapping pistols and watching the ensuing "drama" was easily in the top 10 gaming moments


Nothing more satisfying than pulling off the pistol swap, then triggering the c4 you attached to the chandelier right as the second target runs to check on the actor. Took me many tries to get the timing right, but when I did, man, it was beautiful.
 
2012-11-16 05:59:33 PM

dv-ous: DirkTheDaring: swahnhennessy: DirkTheDaring: What a hot naked woman in the shower may look like. NSFW

The row of perverts really classes it up. And made me ashamed to be looking at it.

You should have seen the crowd when she started soaping up.

Meh. She doesn't strike me as the type to use soap.


She probably has realized the mouth is so much more effective for cleaning.....
 
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