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(Oregon Live)   The Washington town where "Twilight" takes place in hopes it will sparkle in fame for eternity   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely, Port Angeles, visitor center, Bingham  
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3714 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2012 at 8:14 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-11-14 04:44:34 PM  
5 votes:
2012-11-14 09:41:18 PM  
1 vote:
Last year around this time, I got it in my head to travel across the country. Not just across the country like get on the interstate and drive to San Francisco, but find the easternmost and westernmost points of the continental US and drive between them.

Well, it turns out that the former's in Maine (no big surprise there) but the latter's a remote spit of land just west of Ozette, WA. After two weeks meandering about (I avoided interstates and Canada, and I had all the time in the world), I got to Ozette.

Now, I knew that walking to the actual westernmost point of land would be a bit of a hike - turns out to be 3.5 miles. Each way. Now, I've done some hiking, but remember: I'd been sitting on my ass, driving or drinking beer, for half a month.

I made the slow, slippery walk down the path to the Pacific, but then I saw the sun's proximity to the horizon. I was alone, no towns for miles (Ozette isn't a town; it's a ranger station), in the great western temperate rainforest. Worse, I had crappy shoes and jeans on, but I ran that slippery, moss-covered trail all the way back to Ozette, which I reached just as the last dim gleam of... I can't say the word. That dimness that happens around sunset. It's crepuscular. Anyway, I got in my car, breathing hard, just ahead of a bear. No, okay, I'm lying about the bear, but that's what kept me running - I imagined a great Western grizzly had decided I was going to be dinner, and I had to run to outpace it. Yeah, yeah, I know, but it kept me motivated. Being on that trail in the darkness would have been Bad.

Anyway, the shakes set in as I drove off into the night. Not from fear or residual bear-thinking, but from exhaustion. Running over 3 miles when you haven't been training and you're on the wrong side of 45 will do that. My heart beat irregularly in my chest, and even with my seat heaters turned all the way up and the dash heater going full blast, I was cold.

I became keenly aware of my own mortality - and an incredible, head-pounding thirst. You see, like a moron, I'd forgotten water.

Now, I have a GPS and a road atlas - I'm only unprepared when it comes to hiking, not driving - so I looked for the nearest town with a motel.

Imagine my dismay (I was already in shock) when I discovered that town was Forks.

"No," I breathed.

"Oh, please. No."

But it was true.

I could sleep in my car (too cold), or I could beg at the reservation (yeah, right), or I could drive through Forks and on to the next town - a hundred miles further (I didn't think I could make it.)

I found a convenience store after driving for a half an hour and loaded up on water, carbs and electrolytes, but now in addition to being in shock, I was driving tired, and I never knew what the next spasm in my right foot would do to the gas or brake pedal.

Forks, then.

I drove into town, swerving to miss all of the movie merchandise, and found the motel. Decent enough place, honestly, but I had to meander around cardboard cutouts of Edward and Bella.

"Hi, please tell me you have a room for the night."

"Yes, we do. Twilight fan?" (I can say it if it's in a quotation, dammit)

I stood there, shaking, and blinked at her.

"Well, that's okay, we have a room anyway."

I'd almost rather have been eaten by the bear.
2012-11-14 08:46:37 PM  
1 vote:

Arachnophobe: The Stealth Hippopotamus: I say we loot, burn then rape that town as a warning to other who would support this level of stupid.

Rape the horses and then ride off on the women?

No, we eat the dogs, drink the wine, and use the paper for musket wadding.
2012-11-14 08:38:39 PM  
1 vote:

NobleHam: The people I know from Forks mostly wish those books had never been written.

I think they, instead, should turn the fame against the books. Make the stories a little more bloodthirsty, say that the books a romanticizing version of a serial killer/unexplained disappearances, and make the story gruesome.
2012-11-14 08:33:11 PM  
1 vote:
2012-11-14 08:21:37 PM  
1 vote:
I say we loot, burn then rape that town as a warning to other who would support this level of stupid.
2012-11-14 07:25:26 PM  
1 vote:
Washington town hopes glow of 'Twilight' saga never dies

No, no, no. No more. They made Eclipse and we fall back. They make Breaking Dawn and we fall back. They make part 2 and we fall back. The line must be drawn HERE! This far, no further! And I... will make them PAY for what they've done!
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