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(FilmDrunk)   "Roadhouse If Dalton Was The Villain" is exactly what it sounds like (i.e. awesome) (Not safe for work language)   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) divider line 53
    More: Amusing, roadhouses, card tricks, villains, Guy Fieri  
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4302 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Nov 2012 at 3:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-14 04:02:57 PM
I couldn't have guessed that something with such a title would be exactly what it sounded like.
 
2012-11-14 04:03:44 PM
I'm awaiting TMLO's review
 
2012-11-14 04:05:36 PM
He does make an awesome villain.

wesleyfenlon.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-14 04:13:46 PM
Wait... Dalton wasn't the villain? But he killed that nice man and threw those people out of their own town just so someone else could make money off of a business. Dalton was a socialist, and socialists are bad, mm'kay?!
 
2012-11-14 04:17:39 PM
Still the best Road House story:

Kelly Lynch:
"By the way, speaking of Bill Murray, every time "Road House" is on and he or one of his idiot brothers are watching TV- and they're always watching TV - one of them calls my husband and says [In a reasonable approximation of Carl Spackler (Murray's character in "Caddyshack")], 'Kelly's having sex with Patrick Swayze right now. They're doing it. He's throwing her against the rocks,'" Lynch said in an interview with AVClub.com"

BFM
 
2012-11-14 04:22:12 PM

"Roadhouse If Dalton Was The Villain"


"Pain actually does hurt."

"BE. VILLAINOUS. Be villainous until it is time NOT to be villainous."
 
2012-11-14 04:28:40 PM
also NSFW titties about 5 seconds in
 
2012-11-14 04:33:02 PM

HaywoodJablonski: also NSFW titties about 5 seconds in


16 actually
 
2012-11-14 04:36:52 PM

HaywoodJablonski: HaywoodJablonski: also NSFW titties about 5 seconds in

16 actually


16 seconds or 16NSFW titties? This will figure into whether I watch this again...
 
2012-11-14 04:43:22 PM

loonatic112358: I'm awaiting TMLO's review


I'm sufficiently intrigued and delighted!

I love perspective-shifting edits like this, and I don't mind telling you that I would see the hell out of this movie.


The All-Powerful Atheismo: He does make an awesome villain.

[wesleyfenlon.files.wordpress.com image 600x419]


Indeed.

My thoughts, before Hot Fuzz: "Oh, Dalton's a fun actor. He made a good James Bond, and it's always nifty seeing him crop up here and there."

My thoughts, after Hot Fuzz: "DALTON'S THE BEST ACTOR ALIVE PLEASE SURROUND HIM WITH AN AVALANCHE OF OSCARS"


INeedAName: Wait... Dalton wasn't the villain? But he killed that nice man and threw those people out of their own town just so someone else could make money off of a business. Dalton was a socialist, and socialists are bad, mm'kay?!


Heh, you know, oddly enough, I've seen this mode of thought around here before.

I remember one TotalFarker in the past saying that Road House amounts to thinly-veiled communist propaganda.

I'd love to have some socioeconomic theorists and analysts take a look at this movie and have a long discussion about it.


SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Still the best Road House story:

Kelly Lynch:
"By the way, speaking of Bill Murray, every time "Road House" is on and he or one of his idiot brothers are watching TV- and they're always watching TV - one of them calls my husband and says [In a reasonable approximation of Carl Spackler (Murray's character in "Caddyshack")], 'Kelly's having sex with Patrick Swayze right now. They're doing it. He's throwing her against the rocks,'" Lynch said in an interview with AVClub.com"

BFM


You have no idea how this revelation made my day when I learned about it.

No. Idea.


Englebert Slaptyback: "Pain actually does hurt."

"BE. VILLAINOUS. Be villainous until it is time NOT to be villainous."


"Nobody ever wins a fight... BUT ME."
 
2012-11-14 04:47:50 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: My thoughts, before Hot Fuzz: "Oh, Dalton's a fun actor. He made a good James Bond, and it's always nifty seeing him crop up here and there."

My thoughts, after Hot Fuzz: "DALTON'S THE BEST ACTOR ALIVE PLEASE SURROUND HIM WITH AN AVALANCHE OF OSCARS"


My thoughts after Hot Fuzz: "Wow Timothy Dalton looks exactly like my farking step father. wtf."

Also, I've always thought he was a great Bond. I'd rate him #3 or #4.
 
2012-11-14 04:53:48 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: My thoughts after Hot Fuzz: "Wow Timothy Dalton looks exactly like my farking step father. wtf."


I hope he's not a slasher of prices, either.


The All-Powerful Atheismo: Also, I've always thought he was a great Bond. I'd rate him #3 or #4.


I'd be set with that ranking.

I've said it elsewhere and often: Timothy Dalton took a lot of crap for the same stuff we're praising Daniel Craig for. His Bond was ahead of his time (which made for a hell of a contrast after the jokier, campier Moore years).
 
2012-11-14 04:54:40 PM
I used to fark guys like you in prison.

/still best line ever
//Yippee Kay-yay Mr. Falcon a close second.
 
2012-11-14 04:57:59 PM

TheLopper: I used to fark guys like you in prison.

/still best line ever
//Yippee Kay-yay Mr. Falcon a close second.


My favorite line from Road House has to be "YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO HAVE A GOOD TIME," if only for the sheer vehemence Swayze puts into its delivery.
 
2012-11-14 04:58:55 PM
First few times I saw that movie I thought his name was Dog
 
2012-11-14 05:02:22 PM
Roadhouse is Swayze's 3rd best movie.

This is a fact.
 
2012-11-14 05:04:14 PM

mitchcumstein1: Roadhouse is Swayze's 3rd best movie.

This is a fact.


*raises quizzical eyebrow*


Klippoklondike: First few times I saw that movie I thought his name was Dog


First time I saw that movie, I thought he'd be bigger.
 
2012-11-14 05:05:59 PM
So sick of '80s nostalgia. The '80s are OVER, and they weren't that great to begin with. Why are you aging Gen X'ers always shoving this crap down our throats? You're as bad as the generation before you.
 
2012-11-14 05:07:14 PM
Someday they'll refer to me as the best damn cooler in the business.
 
2012-11-14 05:08:42 PM
ok now do this to his greatest movie, Point Break, and I will be happy.
 
2012-11-14 05:09:47 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: Why are you aging Gen X'ers always shoving this crap down our throats?


Because a polar bear fell on me.


HaywoodJablonski: Someday they'll refer to me as the best damn cooler in the business.


I love it that, in the world of Road House, one can be a world-famous cooler, and be sought across the country by savvy entrepreneurs.
 
2012-11-14 05:16:36 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I love it that, in the world of Road House, one can be a world-famous cooler, and be sought across the country by savvy entrepreneurs.


Actually, what I love is that there's a number one cooler AND a number two cooler. Wade Garrett. Never forget.
 
2012-11-14 05:21:36 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: *raises quizzical eyebrow*


Point Break.
Next of Kin.

They are all three American cinematic masterpieces, don't get me wrong.
 
2012-11-14 05:25:40 PM

mitchcumstein1: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: *raises quizzical eyebrow*

Point Break.
Next of Kin.

They are all three American cinematic masterpieces, don't get me wrong.


WTF? RED DAWN, man! Red Effin' DAWN! WOLVERINES!!! Better than both o' those.
 
2012-11-14 05:27:06 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Why are you aging Gen X'ers always shoving this crap down our throats?

Because a polar bear fell on me.


Sorry for the harsh words. I just do. not. get. it. This Joel Silver...stuff...What's the appeal? And I was reading just yesterday that he's producing a new movie with Sean Penn. I mean, he's still in the business! I just...Why?? You guys HAVE to know this stuff is bad. It's just so...ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, there's always a place for ridiculous movies, but the amount of love this stuff gets...It's almost like you think it's GOOD. I mean, MST3K's Mike Nelson called it "the single finest American film" (Link). So what's the difference between a movie like this and, say, Batman & Robin? Why are there no B&R cultists? (Or is that coming 10 years from now? I shudder to think about it.)
 
2012-11-14 05:32:48 PM

Ceiling Moran: mitchcumstein1: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: *raises quizzical eyebrow*

Point Break.
Next of Kin.

They are all three American cinematic masterpieces, don't get me wrong.

WTF? RED DAWN, man! Red Effin' DAWN! WOLVERINES!!! Better than both o' those.


I don't see Red Dawn or The Outsiders as Swayze movies. The are ensemble pieces.

And they are glorious.
 
2012-11-14 05:33:08 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Why are you aging Gen X'ers always shoving this crap down our throats?

Because a polar bear fell on me.

Sorry for the harsh words. I just do. not. get. it. This Joel Silver...stuff...What's the appeal? And I was reading just yesterday that he's producing a new movie with Sean Penn. I mean, he's still in the business! I just...Why?? You guys HAVE to know this stuff is bad. It's just so...ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, there's always a place for ridiculous movies, but the amount of love this stuff gets...It's almost like you think it's GOOD. I mean, MST3K's Mike Nelson called it "the single finest American film" (Link). So what's the difference between a movie like this and, say, Batman & Robin? Why are there no B&R cultists? (Or is that coming 10 years from now? I shudder to think about it.)


Road House had tits, violence, blues, rednecks, blind guitarists, Sam Elliott, Mustangs, monster trucks, hot nurses, mugs, pugs, thugs, buggerers and Protestants.
 
2012-11-14 05:39:44 PM
The greatest Road House write-up there is:

http://www.whatever-dude.com/posts/335.shtml
 
2012-11-14 05:43:22 PM
I have never watched Roadhouse.
I also skipped Point Break and Footloose.
And there is no way anyone will ever get me to watch The Bodyguard.
 
2012-11-14 05:45:43 PM

bv2112: Actually, what I love is that there's a number one cooler AND a number two cooler. Wade Garrett. Never forget.


The cooler community was dealt a savage blow that day...


mitchcumstein1: Point Break.
Next of Kin.

They are all three American cinematic masterpieces, don't get me wrong.


I'm fine with this.

I'm a Ghost man myself, but that's neither here nor there.


B.L.Z. Bub: Sorry for the harsh words.


Bah, no worries, man.


B.L.Z. Bub: Why are there no B&R cultists?


Give them time.


B.L.Z. Bub: Don't get me wrong, there's always a place for ridiculous movies, but the amount of love this stuff gets...It's almost like you think it's GOOD.


It's a movie that's so wonderfully implausible that loops back the way around to awesomeness.


HaywoodJablonski: The greatest Road House write-up there is:


One of my favorite Road House quotes comes from Roger Ebert himself:

"Road House is the kind of movie that leaves reality so far behind that you have to accept it on its own terms."


Also, Albert from The Agony Booth has this gem of a paragraph, which I referenced earlier:

"What makes Road House such a great movie? The answer is easy: It's quite simply the most implausible film ever made. This is a movie that expects you to believe a man can be famous the world over for being a bouncer. This is a movie that wants you to believe a small-town crime lord can afford a Bigfoot 4x4 monster truck, and that he will actually use it to intimidate local businesses. This is a movie that wants you to believe it's possible to rip a man's throat out with your bare hands. Compared to Road House, Star Wars is a documentary."

THAT'S why we love it, B.L.Z. Bub. See also: HaywoodJablonski's post.
 
2012-11-14 05:46:19 PM

ZeroCorpse: I have never watched Roadhouse.


*gasp*

ZC.

ZC.

We need to change this.
 
2012-11-14 05:48:46 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I'm a Ghost man myself, but that's neither here nor there.


Hey, who doesn't love Ghost? If it doesn't get you, you are dead inside.

Plus, Tony Goldwyn plays an incredible asshole.
 
2012-11-14 05:50:22 PM
I just bought Roadhouse today, sadly it came with Roadhouse 2.

Say what you will about Old Hollywood, but Fred Astaire would never have ripped someone's throat out in a movie. Swayze über alles
 
2012-11-14 05:52:45 PM

mitchcumstein1: Hey, who doesn't love Ghost? If it doesn't get you, you are dead inside.


True that. It got a Best Picture nod for a REASON.


mitchcumstein1: Plus, Tony Goldwyn plays an incredible asshole.


Quintessential movie asshole, too.


steve_lou: I just bought Roadhouse today, sadly it came with Roadhouse 2.


I caught that on Spike once.

ONCE.

I was suitably horrified.


steve_lou: Say what you will about Old Hollywood, but Fred Astaire would never have ripped someone's throat out in a movie. Swayze über alles


Preach it, brother.
 
zez
2012-11-14 05:58:34 PM
Wasn't sure what to go with so I posted them both

24.media.tumblr.com

images3.wikia.nocookie.net

PAAAAATRIIICK SWAAAAAAZZZZZZZEEEEEEEE
 
2012-11-14 06:02:33 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Also, Albert from The Agony Booth has this gem of a paragraph, which I referenced earlier:


Wait, did you already know about The Agony Booth? If so, that is just so awesome. I thought I was one of 10 people left that knew about that site. At its peak, it was one of the best written bad movie review sites out there. It's really fallen apart the last few years, though. No more written reviews, only video reviews, which saddens me. I'd much rather suffer through amateur writing than amateur performing. I tried a few of their videos, and some of those guys just don't have any screen charisma. (OK, so I only tried one guy, but he was bad enough to turn me off to the rest.)
 
2012-11-14 06:04:00 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: Wait, did you already know about The Agony Booth? If so, that is just so awesome. I thought I was one of 10 people left that knew about that site. At its peak, it was one of the best written bad movie review sites out there. It's really fallen apart the last few years, though. No more written reviews, only video reviews, which saddens me. I'd much rather suffer through amateur writing than amateur performing. I tried a few of their videos, and some of those guys just don't have any screen charisma. (OK, so I only tried one guy, but he was bad enough to turn me off to the rest.)


Oh, the Agony Booth is all sorts of awesome!

Their recaps are really detailed and dead-on.

And yeah, like yourself, I'm a purist. I'm a written review kinda guy.

*shrugs*

In any event, you're Favorite'd accordingly - cheers!
 
2012-11-14 06:04:08 PM

HaywoodJablonski: The greatest Road House write-up there is:

http://www.whatever-dude.com/posts/335.shtml


I have to disagree:

Chuck Klosterman on Guilty Pleasures 

Read it. You won't regret it.
 
2012-11-14 06:18:24 PM
"Dirty Dancing" is one of Swayze's best movies. And I'm pretty sure I'm not gay.
 
2012-11-14 07:06:31 PM
The Rifftrax of Roadhouse is amazing.. Thats all..
 
2012-11-14 07:17:11 PM
Best quotes were from Sam Elliott
"Well I sure ain't gonna' show you my dick"
"The double dooouusche"
 
2012-11-14 07:25:12 PM

laid back w/bud light: Best quotes were from Sam Elliott
"Well I sure ain't gonna' show you my dick"
"The double dooouusche"


Ooh, and...

"That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that."


Shadow Blasko: The Rifftrax of Roadhouse is amazing.. Thats all..


You're preaching to the choir there, amigo.
 
2012-11-14 07:33:45 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: laid back w/bud light: Best quotes were from Sam Elliott
"Well I sure ain't gonna' show you my dick"
"The double dooouusche"

Ooh, and...

"That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that."


Shadow Blasko: The Rifftrax of Roadhouse is amazing.. Thats all..

You're preaching to the choir there, amigo.


Maybe you would like some Beef with that.
 
2012-11-14 07:44:46 PM

mitchcumstein1: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: *raises quizzical eyebrow*

Point Break.
Next of Kin.

They are all three American cinematic masterpieces, don't get me wrong.


oh hells yeah. just replay the 3 all weekend long, have pizza and beer delivered, just leave teh money on the porch. ---if girlfriend stops by keep telling her Ghost and Dirty Dancing are also on teh TiVo, probably playing next.
 
2012-11-14 07:58:53 PM

mitchcumstein1


I don't see Red Dawn or The Outsiders as Swayze movies. The are ensemble pieces.


Counterpoint: in Red Dawn, Swayze was the leader of the ensemble and he was (nearly) the only one to survive. 

Agreed on The Outsiders, though.
 
2012-11-14 08:46:27 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: ...It's almost like you think it's GOOD. I mean, MST3K's Mike Nelson called it "the single finest American film" (Link). So what's the difference between a movie like this and, say, Batman & Robin? Why are there no B&R cultists? (Or is that coming 10 years from now? I shudder to think about it.)


The difference between Roadhouse and Batman and Robin is that the people who made Roadhouse knew they were making a fundamentally stupid movie while they were making it, whereas the people making Batman and Robin didn't realize their movie was stupid until after they released it.
 
2012-11-14 08:46:30 PM
If you can't go into a small town bar and score dope or get kickbacks for every third drink then why would I even want to drink in such an establishment.

he WAS the bad guy
 
2012-11-14 10:18:02 PM
haha so awesome I already just can't shut the hell up about it.
 
2012-11-14 10:35:35 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: "What makes Road House such a great movie? The answer is easy: It's quite simply the most implausible film ever made. This is a movie that expects you to believe a man can be famous the world over for being a bouncer. This is a movie that wants you to believe a small-town crime lord can afford a Bigfoot 4x4 monster truck, and that he will actually use it to intimidate local businesses. This is a movie that wants you to believe it's possible to rip a man's throat out with your bare hands. Compared to Road House, Star Wars is a documentary."


And it plays it straight the whole time. No hip irony or winking at the audience because there's no joke to be in on.
 
2012-11-15 01:07:21 AM
Leaded, or unleaded?
 
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