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(Newser)   Florida's making it a little too easy now for the voting jokes: WSVN reports that Broward County officials have turned up a box with nearly 1,000 uncounted paper ballots in a warehouse   (newser.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, WSVN, Broward County, voting jokes  
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1131 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Nov 2012 at 4:50 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2012-11-14 04:05:08 PM  
Were they next to the box that holds the Ark of the Covenant?
 
2012-11-14 04:49:13 PM  
Is this the Allen West district? If so, no wonder he furiously refused to concede the election. He mislaid his stolen votes.
 
2012-11-14 04:52:11 PM  
Worse, these are from the year 2000.

/No, not really.
 
2012-11-14 04:52:35 PM  
Obama won by 74,000 votes--so let the butthurt heal.
 
2012-11-14 04:52:39 PM  
This state is filled to the brim with f*cking retards.
 
2012-11-14 04:53:56 PM  
If they are uncounted, how do you know it's 1,000 ballots? Check and mate.
 
2012-11-14 04:53:56 PM  
This is what we have been waiting for! Romney wins!
 
2012-11-14 04:54:05 PM  
No, West is looking for votes in St. Lucie County, which is turning into a clusterfark of its own.

Are these provisional ballots then? In my precinct, you fill in the paper ballot with a pen and then scan it into the machine. I figured it was tabulated right there... but maybe that would have been too simple.
 
2012-11-14 04:54:48 PM  
"We found these ballots...they uh...fell off the back of a truck..."
 
2012-11-14 04:57:57 PM  

valar_morghulis: This state is filled to the brim with f*cking retards.


As a Floridian I can attest that you are correct sir. This is the only state where I would be considered smart. I'm like Luke Wilson in Idiocracy except not as man pretty.
 
2012-11-14 04:58:19 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Worse, these are from the year 2000.

/No, not really.


You are a trouble-maker. LOL.
 
2012-11-14 04:58:32 PM  
Taking a look at the articles picture, something is bad when you are not only still using punch out ballots, but your election officials are so blind that they need a magnifying glass to see them.
 
2012-11-14 05:00:27 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Worse, these are from the year 2000.

/No, not really.


I wonder what would happen if such a box were found now, with enough ballots to have eliminated the 500-vote margin by which W won?
 
2012-11-14 05:01:12 PM  

Bossk'sSegway: If they are uncounted, how do you know it's 1,000 ballots? Check and mate.


Brilliant! I LOLed.
 
2012-11-14 05:01:24 PM  
When I cast a ballot in Chicago, I put the chances of it actually being counted at about 60-70%. If I lived in Florida, I'd put it at about 40%.
 
2012-11-14 05:01:52 PM  

Citrate1007: Taking a look at the articles picture, something is bad when you are not only still using punch out ballots, but your election officials are so blind that they need a magnifying glass to see them.


That image is from 2000.
 
2012-11-14 05:02:35 PM  

Myria: Martian_Astronomer: Worse, these are from the year 2000.

/No, not really.

I wonder what would happen if such a box were found now, with enough ballots to have eliminated the 500-vote margin by which W won?


Al Gore is retroactively made President, the assault weapons ban is permanently reinstated and Saddam Hussein is resurrected.

/But he still loses one point of CON.
 
2012-11-14 05:02:57 PM  

Shaggy_C: When I cast a ballot in Chicago, I put the chances of it actually being counted at about 60-70%. If I lived in Florida, I'd put it at about 40%.


You're about right, and I've lived both places.
 
2012-11-14 05:03:02 PM  

Dimensio: Citrate1007: Taking a look at the articles picture, something is bad when you are not only still using punch out ballots, but your election officials are so blind that they need a magnifying glass to see them.

That image is from 2000.


So THAT's how bush won there.
 
2012-11-14 05:03:12 PM  

Myria: Martian_Astronomer: Worse, these are from the year 2000.

/No, not really.

I wonder what would happen if such a box were found now, with enough ballots to have eliminated the 500-vote margin by which W won?


Probably nothing much - unless we can use Obama's Time Machine to change the last 12 years.
 
2012-11-14 05:04:16 PM  

TimonC346: Obama won by 74,000 votes--so let the butthurt heal.


Yeah, but if there are just 73 other warehouses out there and they are all Romney votes and if unicorns are real..!!
 
2012-11-14 05:04:18 PM  

Bossk'sSegway: If they are uncounted, how do you know it's 1,000 ballots? Check and mate.


Hah!

and they're blank, unused, not even opened, extras but ballots none the less.
 
2012-11-14 05:04:45 PM  

Myria: I wonder what would happen if such a box were found now, with enough ballots to have eliminated the 500-vote margin by which W won?


Short answer? Nothing. Long answer? Nothing. The Supreme Court said that people do not have a constitutional right to vote in a presidential election and that the votes counted and certified by the state as of based on the predetermined recount rules were binding. They could have found a million votes the day after the trial and it wouldn't have mattered.
 
2012-11-14 05:10:02 PM  
C'mon! They're saving them for the next Romney run!
 
2012-11-14 05:16:08 PM  

Scout32: C'mon! They're saving them for the next Romney run!


ROMNEY 2013
We Have No Idea What We're Doing

 
2012-11-14 05:19:25 PM  
OK, you guys don't get to vote anymore.
 
2012-11-14 05:25:23 PM  

Elandriel: Is this the Allen West district? If so, no wonder he furiously refused to concede the election. He mislaid his stolen votes.


Considering the Broward Supervisor of Elections is a Democrat, that's highly unlikely.
 
2012-11-14 05:25:55 PM  
Lets drop the name Florida and just refer to that lot of land as Disney world.
 
2012-11-14 05:28:35 PM  

Isitoveryet: Lets drop the name Florida and just refer to that lot of land as Disney world.


Disney World is a well run place.
 
2012-11-14 05:31:40 PM  
Old trick of the trade:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-14 05:31:41 PM  

Isitoveryet: Lets drop the name Florida and just refer to that lot of land as Disney world.


A little oversimplified. Parts of the state are over a seven-hour drive from Disney World, if traffic is perfect.
 
2012-11-14 05:32:23 PM  

redqueenmeg: Isitoveryet: Lets drop the name Florida and just refer to that lot of land as Disney world.

A little oversimplified. Parts of the state are over a seven-hour drive from Disney World, if traffic is perfect.


I mean, unless you'd also be OK with renaming California Disneyland.
 
2012-11-14 05:33:42 PM  

redqueenmeg: Isitoveryet: Lets drop the name Florida and just refer to that lot of land as Disney world.

A little oversimplified. Parts of the state are over a seven-hour drive from Disney World, if traffic is perfect.


When is traffic in FL ever perfect?
 
2012-11-14 05:35:26 PM  

karmaceutical: No, West is looking for votes in St. Lucie County, which is turning into a clusterfark of its own.

Are these provisional ballots then? In my precinct, you fill in the paper ballot with a pen and then scan it into the machine. I figured it was tabulated right there... but maybe that would have been too simple.


Correct me if I'm wrong but West's district used to consist of parts of Broward County but got moved up north with redistricting to include St. Lucie County which initally wasn't part of his district right?

Broward County sure has done it's best to meet the Fark Florida tag quota this week.
 
2012-11-14 05:38:15 PM  

Ed Finnerty: Scout32: C'mon! They're saving them for the next Romney run!

ROMNEY 2013
We Have No Idea What We're Doing


Well done, would chortle again.

Cheers
 
2012-11-14 05:39:43 PM  

Dimensio: Myria: Martian_Astronomer: Worse, these are from the year 2000.

/No, not really.

I wonder what would happen if such a box were found now, with enough ballots to have eliminated the 500-vote margin by which W won?

Al Gore is retroactively made President, the assault weapons ban is permanently reinstated and Saddam Hussein is resurrected.

/But he still loses one point of CON.


That was awesome.
 
2012-11-14 05:51:06 PM  
ok how about Shiatsville?
 
2012-11-14 06:04:42 PM  

valar_morghulis: This state is filled to the brim with f*cking retards.


No, there are still parts of the state with plenty of room left. Come on down.
 
2012-11-14 06:09:50 PM  
From the margin:

(Newser) - A troubled Florida man appears to have chosen death over another four years of President Obama, police say. Officers who had been requested to conduct a welfare check found the body of Henry Hamilton, 64, next to two empty bottles of anxiety and schizophrenia medication in the Key West home he shared with his male partner, the Miami Herald reports. Hamilton, owner of a tanning salon, was stressed about his business and was "very upset about the election results," his partner told police. The words "F*** Obama!" were found scrawled on Hamilton's will.
 
2012-11-14 06:14:34 PM  

Shaggy_C: Myria: I wonder what would happen if such a box were found now, with enough ballots to have eliminated the 500-vote margin by which W won?

Short answer? Nothing. Long answer? Nothing. The Supreme Court said that people do not have a constitutional right to vote in a presidential election and that the votes counted and certified by the state as of based on the predetermined recount rules were binding. They could have found a million votes the day after the trial and it wouldn't have mattered.


Clearly, there would be no legal effect. But would such a thing cause future policies to change? Would it cause a lot of discussion on W's legacy?
 
2012-11-14 06:17:34 PM  

Myria: Clearly, there would be no legal effect. But would such a thing cause future policies to change? Would it cause a lot of discussion on W's legacy?


I'm sure the "Commander in Thief" shirts the angry left were bandying about in the early months of 2001 would have seen a marked uptick in sales. But 9/11 would have still come along, and as we well know. It. Changed. EVERYTHING.
 
2012-11-14 06:17:48 PM  

redqueenmeg: Isitoveryet: Lets drop the name Florida and just refer to that lot of land as Disney world.

... if traffic is perfect.


'Perfect traffic?' Is that an oxymoron?
 
2012-11-14 06:28:59 PM  
We can send a man to the moon, kill entire armies in days. Yet we can't count votes. farking brilliant we are.
 
2012-11-14 06:44:48 PM  
This just proves that Logan's Run was a sound blueprint for a successful society.
 
2012-11-14 06:51:44 PM  

thurstonxhowell: OK, you guys don't get to vote anymore.


No shiat. Florida, the place that makes Waukesha county, WI look like a well run voting operation.
 
2012-11-14 06:53:43 PM  

Whiskey Pete: From the margin:

(Newser) - A troubled Florida man appears to have chosen death over another four years of President Obama, police say. Officers who had been requested to conduct a welfare check found the body of Henry Hamilton, 64, next to two empty bottles of anxiety and schizophrenia medication in the Key West home he shared with his male partner, the Miami Herald reports. Hamilton, owner of a tanning salon, was stressed about his business and was "very upset about the election results," his partner told police. The words "F*** Obama!" were found scrawled on Hamilton's will.


I like that 44% of the readers voted the story 'Hilarious'.
 
2012-11-14 07:12:45 PM  
 
2012-11-14 07:28:31 PM  
Oh, Florida has warehouses full of uncounted ballots from every election since it became a state. Jeb Bush can't be elected President because he insulated his house with ballots for his competitor. That and drunk-driving back and forth over his baby sitter in the drive way. Any Bush who killed a man or woman is pretty much unelectable or they would never have selected George Jr. They've been telling him he can be President of Guam when Jeb inherits the Imperial Throne.

It's not about who stole the election from whom for the last century or so. You must undo the results of this one because the wrong guy won. Just stay focused on the current talking points. Everything else is down the memory hole. What Bush? I don't remember anybody by that name except a Kate.
 
2012-11-14 07:39:05 PM  

NewportBarGuy: We can send a man to the moon, kill entire armies in days. Yet we can't count votes. farking brilliant we are.


If we could count votes, we would have a different government. Then where would we be?
 
2012-11-14 10:03:33 PM  

Isitoveryet: Bossk'sSegway: If they are uncounted, how do you know it's 1,000 ballots? Check and mate.

Hah!

and they're blank, unused, not even opened, extras but ballots none the less.


That's what they are now, but won't be by the time they're counted.
 
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