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(Yahoo)   Think Fido is going to protect your house? Think again. Your dog wants to play with the burglar   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, Jeff Schettler, dog trainer, rottweiler, Kevlar, Wesson, German Shepherd, burglary, dogs  
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4300 clicks;  Favorite

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-11-14 02:28:54 PM  
2 votes:

Dancin_In_Anson: My Golden would not only want to play, but for a treat she'd serve up the combination to the gun safe.

why did you tell the dog the combination to begin with.
2012-11-14 02:09:15 PM  
2 votes:
It all depends, I had a malamute who was a giant baby, right up until a burglar tried to break into my house via the window right next to the crib. The dog was stabbed by the burglar's knife and needed stitches, the burglar was found by the police a block or so away, passed out behind a small shed from lack of blood (the cops just followed the blood trail).

I don't care if my dog won't protect the flat screen when I'm not home, after all I have home owners insurance and I'd rather not have some dog prone to overreacting when people come onto his territory. What I do what is a dog that will fark shiat up when I'm not home, but my wife and six month old son are.

Basically my malamute was unhappy about the whole "strange man comes through window next to baby" thing and the moment my wife screamed he went from unhappy to "you know what solves all kinds of problems? Biting this dude repeatedly." When no one is around, he's welcome to help the guy load the TV for all I and my 750 dollar deductible care.

/the day the dog came back from the animal hospital he limped over to the easy chair by the window the burglar came through, sat down behind it and locked his eyes on the window, ready for round two
2012-11-14 02:05:41 PM  
2 votes:
REPEAT from a few days ago. Looks like modmins stop repeats about as well as these dogs stop the burglars.
2012-11-14 04:32:07 PM  
1 vote:
We own three attack terriers. I can only hope the burglars are either squirrels or mice.
2012-11-14 04:08:28 PM  
1 vote:
Would not let anyone get in, can crack a gun safe.
2012-11-14 03:25:12 PM  
1 vote:

tweek46420: why did you tell the dog the combination to begin with.

She asked! And it's hard to tell a face like this "no"

vballer: Ditto. They'd get away with everying but my golden's toys.

They're funny that way.
2012-11-14 03:13:25 PM  
1 vote:
When someone comes to the door, I let the dogs go up and bark while I see who it is, also letting them see what they would deal with if they are caseing the place. 2 Irish Wolfhounds, 2 Jack Russells, and a Chuhuahua (that the Wolfhounds are convinced is their puppy). Its comical watching the power co. guys check to see if the yard is safe to come into.

If you leave them alone, they probably won't do anything to you. Hit/hurt one, and you are on your own and may God have mercy on your soul. I'll be right behind them with something to end the pain.
2012-11-14 03:02:15 PM  
1 vote:
German Shepherd - 85 pounds of hidey hole cowardice till you mess with one of her people...
2012-11-14 02:39:31 PM  
1 vote:
We have 2 dogs, a big intimidating German Shepherd and a short, frumpy Bassett Hound. One day I got a letter from the scooper service that they would not be coming out anymore until we did something about our "aggressive dog" .

Now, I knew the Shepherd looks vicious, but I have never once seen him act it. I gave the service a call to get this hashed out.

Wasn't him. Only thing he was guilty of was pestering the scooper techs with tennis balls. But apparently every single one of them is scared to death of the Bassett. According to them she lies in ambush and goes for the back of the legs when they get close enough.

/has to go to doggie day camp on those days
//apparently her attitude improves when she isn't on "her turf"
2012-11-14 02:38:23 PM  
1 vote:
There was a hilarious Richard Pryor routine about his dog letting a burglar into his house... the dog's friendly and accommodating, shows where the silverware is, all that... when the burglar gets to the door, "that's when the motherfarker turned into the Exorcist.  'YOU CAN'T LEAVE!  I WANT TO PLAY!'"
It's funny in context, anyway.  Someone probably remembers it.
2012-11-14 02:37:21 PM  
1 vote:
125 pound Rottie. He is trained to guard. He obeys VERY well.
B&E on my premises and he WILL play with you, like you are a chew-toy. Seriously.

The reason he will do this? TRAINING, lots and lots of it. Wasn't easy or cheap but he is sweet when off-point and relaxed.
But watch out for ON-POINT and in 'you-just-effed-up-and-threatened-my-human' mode.

Otherwise, he is just a big goofey, sweetipie, lick-fest on four feet. And as old as he is he will fetch that damned ball til your arms falls the fark off.
2012-11-14 02:23:12 PM  
1 vote:
You're a burglar and slightly open the door to my apartment. You see an 80lb german shepherd sitting and staring at you, about two feet away. There is a slight growling sound coming from her. You can either continue into the apartment and hope she's friendly, or you can close the door as fast as possible and retreat from the building hoping she doesn't follow.

If you choose to continue into the apartment, turn to page 7. If you choose to try and quickly close the apartment door and leave, turn to page 15.

/She'd just jump up and lick you

She actually gets whiny when she sees kids outside playing cause they're her size and she wants to go run and play and dance with them.
2012-11-14 02:19:59 PM  
1 vote:
You know what's really scary........

The burglar went to your kitchen cabinet and got a jar of peanut butter....

2012-11-14 02:14:03 PM  
1 vote:

kisseswookies: My dog takes that as her sign to run in the opposite direction as fast as she can.

My shar-pei consistently runs away from threats as fast as possible in the completely opposite direction. If I want to see what may be in my yard all I have to do is walk directly opposite his path when he bolts.

So far the list of things he consistently run from:
Deer - Scary to run into these guys at 5:00 AM...
Coyotes - I usually run with him on this one...
Skunks - he got sprayed once. Safe to say he did not like it.

He's like a reverse tracking hound.
2012-11-14 02:06:15 PM  
1 vote:
"Hey, you guys are great!"
2012-11-14 01:59:50 PM  
1 vote:
Well, my Cocker Spaniel would wiggle at a burgler. No help there.
The Springer on the other hand, she might cause a burglar some problems. Not because she'd be trying to protect the house, but because she'd be jumping up on them and, assuming they're male, hitting them square in the nuts like she regularly does to me.
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