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(White House)   Old and busted: Texas filing petition to secede from United States. New hotness: Austin filing petition to secede from Texas and remain part of the Union   (petitions.whitehouse.gov) divider line 84
    More: Amusing, Austin Texas, United States, political freedom, petitions, original idea  
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2319 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Nov 2012 at 3:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-14 01:53:58 PM
I'd sign this petition but I'm not a citizen of Austin or Texas.

/Loved that place back when I was stationed at Bergstrom AFB.
//Concerts at the Armadillo World Headquarters, Hippie Hollow, Barton Springs, good times.
 
2012-11-14 02:01:07 PM
Didn't El Paso do this yesterday?
 
2012-11-14 02:18:04 PM
This is just getting silly now! Can't they just have a hootenanny/BBQ party and simmer the f**k down?
 
2012-11-14 02:18:25 PM
Keep Austin Wierd
 
2012-11-14 02:29:07 PM

GGracie: Keep Austin Wierd


Saw that shirt/bummer sticker/poster all over Austin a few weekends ago. I really didn't want to tell them they are damn near exactly the same as Houston and Dallas.
 
2012-11-14 02:30:01 PM
We'll end up having to airlift-in supplies. Are there any C-47s left?
 
2012-11-14 02:35:43 PM
Okay, this is just getting potato now. Wait, it was potato from the start

Carry on
 
2012-11-14 02:37:13 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: GGracie: Keep Austin Wierd

Saw that shirt/bummer sticker/poster all over Austin a few weekends ago. I really didn't want to tell them they are damn near exactly the same as Houston and Dallas.


I lived in Austin for a few years. It is really unique. It is fairly liberal with lots of good BBQ :-)
 
2012-11-14 02:37:28 PM

AirForceVet: I'd sign this petition but I'm not a citizen of Austin or Texas.


Like that stops anyone.
 
2012-11-14 02:38:14 PM
I'm getting a lot of use out of this lately.
o.onionstatic.com
 
2012-11-14 02:49:24 PM

GGracie: I lived in Austin for a few years. It is really unique. It is fairly liberal with lots of good BBQ :-)


Yeah you can't find BBQ anywhere else in Texas. As far as the liberal part goes it really doesn't matter in the party places. There is no difference between 6th street and Dallas' west end.

Was on 6th street the weekend before Halloween. It rocked.

img688.imageshack.us


And always have breakfast take Kevin. Chicken and waffle sandwich.
 
2012-11-14 02:55:47 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: And always have breakfast take Kevin.



wat.
 
2012-11-14 03:07:06 PM
Austin is the way it is because the rest of Texas surrounding it. Take Austin out of Texas and you will have the equivelant of Lafayette, IN or Ames, IA, with a few more hookers.
 
2012-11-14 03:29:12 PM

minoridiot: Austin is the way it is because the rest of Texas surrounding it. Take Austin out of Texas and you will have the equivelant of Lafayette, IN or Ames, IA, with a few more hookers.


Houston respectfully disagrees.
 
2012-11-14 03:30:02 PM
Gotta remember about all these "deeply red" southern states; they're usually only 60 percent Republican. And most of the money (and Democratic) centers are the big cities. Good luck operating your conservative utopia without any major cities and their tax base and infrastructures.
 
2012-11-14 03:32:13 PM
We love you Austin!!!!
 
2012-11-14 03:32:23 PM
How about we skip secession and just go straight to Snow Crash and let everyone individually decide their citizenship regardless of geographical location?
 
2012-11-14 03:32:30 PM
This just in: When you allow any idiot to start online petitions, any idiot will.
Can we stop with this please?
 
2012-11-14 03:32:42 PM
They can't secede, so why not split up?

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-14 03:35:45 PM

minoridiot: Austin is the way it is because the rest of Texas surrounding it. Take Austin out of Texas and you will have the equivelant of Lafayette, IN or Ames, IA, with a few more hookers.


Hey now. Austin doesn't have the shiat stench in the air or loser mentality like West Lafayette. And it has better basketball players, too.
 
2012-11-14 03:36:29 PM
Sure Austin, do that. But you'll need a passport to leave town. But it's a liberal college town, don't expect them to think for themselves just repeat talking points from Maddow.
 
2012-11-14 03:36:39 PM

Steigen: This just in: When you allow any idiot to start online petitions, any idiot will.
Can we stop with this please?


I agree. I think "direct democracy" type stuff like this isn't helpful. You have problems call up your rep. In fact I believe we should have more house members. House members should be someone that anyone can call up and talk with to have there voice represented in the government.

Could you imagine if we had 1000 house representatives? I think it would be very difficult to have as much partisanship as we have now because of the more diversity.
 
2012-11-14 03:36:52 PM

This About That: We'll end up having to airlift-in supplies. Are there any C-47s left?


That's the first thing that came to my mind too. They'll have to airlift in unicycles and vinyl records in order to keep Austin weird!
 
2012-11-14 03:37:54 PM

SithLord: Sure Austin, do that. But you'll need a passport to leave town. But it's a liberal college town, don't expect them to think for themselves just repeat talking points from Maddow.


pssst it's a joke making fun of the people in Texas wanting to secede. I find it funny you are made at the people doing it tongue in check but are silent about the crazies who are actually taking it seriously.
 
2012-11-14 03:39:06 PM

Snarfangel: They can't secede, so why not split up?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 395x360]


Won't work. All the mini-Texases (Texaii?) would constantly be figthing amongst themselves over the crucial issue of who gets custody of the giant belt buckles.
 
2012-11-14 03:39:07 PM
Come on, City of Austin. Just like your namesake, you're surrounded by the enemy, about to be put to death by violent hordes closing on you holy place of refuge.

Your only hope lies in whores. Send them out among your enemy and let them seduce your leaders. It's your only hope.

/Shush, compadre. At this place brave men fried clearing a roadway for Citra
 
2012-11-14 03:40:44 PM

SithLord: Sure Austin, do that. But you'll need a passport to leave town. But it's a liberal college town, don't expect them to think for themselves just repeat talking points from Maddow.


Uh oh, it looks like somebody needs some soothing balm...
 
2012-11-14 03:41:03 PM

SithLord: Sure Austin, do that. But you'll need a passport to leave town. But it's a liberal college town, don't expect them to think for themselves just repeat talking points from Maddow.


This coming from someone who probably lauds trickle-down economics even though all empirical evidence shows it has failed.

See also: man-made climate change.

See also: legitimate rape

It's ok to parrot talking points if the empirical data used by the person drawing the conclusion is sound.

It's not ok to back rational thought-hating buffoons, except apparently around your dinner table.
 
2012-11-14 03:41:31 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Bah gawd thats why they call him the Rattlesnake King! DTA! Dont Trust Anybody!
 
2012-11-14 03:42:08 PM
Bob wills unavailable for Comment

/obscure?
 
2012-11-14 03:42:27 PM

serial_crusher: I'm getting a lot of use out of this lately.
[o.onionstatic.com image 250x449]


Kurt Russell in "Escape From Texas"
 
2012-11-14 03:42:37 PM
I intend to secede from Texas immediately upon their secession from the Union. I shall myself New Duke Phillips land. Our national dish will be chicken and biscuits. We'll have a small GDP, but we'll be the only all-nude country on the planet, I can promise you that.
 
2012-11-14 03:44:51 PM

SithLord: Sure Austin, do that. But you'll need a passport to leave town. But it's a liberal college town, don't expect them to think for themselves just repeat talking points from Maddow.


You are so right. It is so incredibly likely that Texas will successfully secede from the United States that this was a useful thing to say.
 
2012-11-14 03:47:05 PM
Just wondering, but how many of those signatures for Texas to secede came from those outside of Texas?

Kind of like the idea that we can vote them off the island.
 
2012-11-14 03:47:09 PM
Dear White House,

THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T LET THE INTERNET IN!
 
2012-11-14 03:48:15 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: GGracie: Keep Austin Wierd

Saw that shirt/bummer sticker/poster all over Austin a few weekends ago. I really didn't want to tell them they are damn near exactly the same as Houston and Dallas.


That's because all those shiny shirt sumbiatches moved here.
 
2012-11-14 03:49:09 PM

deeyablo: minoridiot: Austin is the way it is because the rest of Texas surrounding it. Take Austin out of Texas and you will have the equivelant of Lafayette, IN or Ames, IA, with a few more hookers.

Houston respectfully disagrees.


Easy there. He was saying that Austin has more hookers than Lafayette IN, not that Austin has more hookers than Houston.
 
2012-11-14 03:49:11 PM

serial_crusher: I'm getting a lot of use out of this lately.
[o.onionstatic.com image 250x449]


Looks good...but given jumping range of motorized scooters, I think you can bring the height of the wall down to about a foot.
 
2012-11-14 03:49:56 PM

thurstonxhowell: SithLord: Sure Austin, do that. But you'll need a passport to leave town. But it's a liberal college town, don't expect them to think for themselves just repeat talking points from Maddow.

You are so right. It is so incredibly likely that Texas will successfully secede from the United States that this was a useful thing to say.


I lawled.

SithLord, do me a favor, shut the hell up.
 
2012-11-14 03:52:13 PM

deeyablo: thurstonxhowell: SithLord: Sure Austin, do that. But you'll need a passport to leave town. But it's a liberal college town, don't expect them to think for themselves just repeat talking points from Maddow.

You are so right. It is so incredibly likely that Texas will successfully secede from the United States that this was a useful thing to say.

I lawled.

SithLord, do me a favor, shut the hell up.


t1.gstatic.com

Don't hurt his feelings...he's had a rough week.
 
2012-11-14 03:55:40 PM

Snarfangel: They can't secede, so why not split up?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 395x360]


Okay, why is the southern splinter of Texas called "The North"? Is it purely for the lulz?
 
2012-11-14 03:58:23 PM
 
2012-11-14 03:59:20 PM
I've been to Austin a few times, and always left in a good mood. Being from New Orleans, I notice you folks have a "whatever" attitude. I dig that we have that in common. It's the sort of place where a really piss-poor 6'5 tranny doesn't look out of place, and no one cares that you're stoned.
 
2012-11-14 03:59:51 PM
New hotness my arse.

Winston county, Alabama says welcome to 1861 Austin.
 
2012-11-14 03:59:57 PM
I have such a love-hate relationship with my own state. The rabid far right wingers are an embarrassment and a silliness I have to deal with on a daily basis. It's still worth it.
 
2012-11-14 04:02:02 PM
Oh how I wish they would actually do this. Let them take Alabama, Oklahoma, and Kansas when they go.
 
2012-11-14 04:03:40 PM
This secession arms race is getting highly amusing.
 
2012-11-14 04:03:51 PM
Maybe some "Texans" should move back to California, Oregon, & Washington state?

Sounds like Vegas... mostly democrats now due to all of the people that moved there after they voted & farked up California
 
2012-11-14 04:03:54 PM
What do you bet the White House takes that part of their site down before Thanksgiving?
 
2012-11-14 04:04:55 PM

Corvus: Steigen: This just in: When you allow any idiot to start online petitions, any idiot will.
Can we stop with this please?

I agree. I think "direct democracy" type stuff like this isn't helpful. You have problems call up your rep. In fact I believe we should have more house members. House members should be someone that anyone can call up and talk with to have there voice represented in the government.

Could you imagine if we had 1000 house representatives? I think it would be very difficult to have as much partisanship as we have now because of the more diversity.


We'd be better off with 1250 or so house representatives. I would prefer 1:250000 rep:constituent ratio.
 
2012-11-14 04:05:17 PM

kinkkerbelle: I have such a love-hate relationship with my own state. The rabid far right wingers are an embarrassment and a silliness I have to deal with on a daily basis. It's still worth it.


Louisiana is the same way. We're simultaneously the funnest and most fark-tarded red state in the union.

The fun makes up for it.
 
2012-11-14 04:12:07 PM
This is why I said the GOP only wants to do away with the electoral college because they have no clue how it also helps them. I even said Austin TX was first to go not far behind Lawrence KS. Remember Gore had more votes than Bush but GWB won in the electoral college format.
 
2012-11-14 04:12:11 PM
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-11-14 04:13:11 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: GGracie: Keep Austin Wierd

Saw that shirt/bummer sticker/poster all over Austin a few weekends ago. I really didn't want to tell them they are damn near exactly the same as Houston and Dallas.


Did they at least spell "Weird" correctly on the bumper sticker?
 
2012-11-14 04:13:47 PM

LucklessWonder: [sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 500x361]


Laughed. Loudly.

/co-workers think I'm crazy.
 
2012-11-14 04:14:13 PM

Peter von Nostrand: Okay, this is just getting potato now. Wait, it was potato from the start

Carry on


Meet the new potato: same as the old potato.
 
2012-11-14 04:14:55 PM
pjmedia.com
 
2012-11-14 04:42:56 PM
I wouldn't mind splitting up Texas. It takes half of the road trip worth of driving just to get out of Texas on my way to my hometown back in Colorado. Having more than three state lines to cross in an 18 hour drive might make the drive feel less tedious. I hate driving through north Texas, it's flat and boring forever. I go through El Paso now instead. San Antonio and Austin both are more Democrat leaning as well as pretty much any city over about 200,000 people tends to be. Plus keeping San Antonio associated with Austin means they get to keep that cool toll road you can go 85 mph between them on.

I saw the petition to make El Paso part of New Mexico and having been through El Paso a couple of times, I'd say it seems to fit better with New Mexico than it does Texas. It's not that far from Las Cruces either.
 
2012-11-14 04:44:55 PM
Everyone's missing the best line of the petition:

"We would also like to annex Dublin Texas, Lockhart Texas, & Shiner Texas."
 
2012-11-14 04:46:24 PM

oldfarthenry: This is just getting silly now! Can't they just have a hootenanny/BBQ party and simmer the f**k down?


Seconded.
 
2012-11-14 04:50:39 PM
Again, "some random asshole who may or may not be from Texas signs" =/= "Texas signs". The petition site is just a troll site and you know it.

Similarly "some random jerk who may or may not be from Austin filing" =/= "Austin filing".

AirForceVet: I'd sign this petition but I'm not a citizen of Austin or Texas.


Go for it, I doubt it's stopped anyone else, there's no location restriction on internet petitions, or at least no really enforceable ones.
 
2012-11-14 04:51:12 PM
Not so much news. Austin voted to stay in the union around 150 years ago. Lots of confederacy recruiting in Texas was done at the business end of a gun barrel.

Ask around where the confederate draft dodgers hung out in the San Antonio-Austin-Houston triangle. Lots of immigrants came here through Galveston and New Orleans (not Ellis Island) to escape from the Napoleonic Wars. They were pretty tired or war and the after war famines. The last thing they wanted was more war.
 
2012-11-14 05:06:50 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: GGracie: Keep Austin Wierd

Saw that shirt/bummer sticker/poster all over Austin a few weekends ago. I really didn't want to tell them they are damn near exactly the same as Houston and Dallas.


you shut your whore mouth. Card Carrying member of SNATCH, so its ok that I say that
 
2012-11-14 05:10:45 PM

dickfreckle: I've been to Austin a few times, and always left in a good mood. Being from New Orleans, I notice you folks have a "whatever" attitude. I dig that we have that in common. It's the sort of place where a really piss-poor 6'5 tranny doesn't look out of place, and no one cares that you're stoned.


I notice you omitted those details from yr profile
 
2012-11-14 05:14:34 PM

Mad_Radhu: Snarfangel: They can't secede, so why not split up?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 395x360]

Okay, why is the southern splinter of Texas called "The North"? Is it purely for the lulz?


According to Nate Silver, who made the map,

To our final region we give the ironic name El Norte -- ironic because, although 'El Norte' is the Spanish term for 'The North', this would actually be Texas' southermost (and westernmost) region. But it would be impossible to define El Norte by anything other than through reference to its Hispanic culture and its proximity to Mexico, as about 85 percent of its residents have Hispanic ancestry. El Norte would also be the poorest state in the Union, with one-third of its residents living below the poverty line.
 
2012-11-14 05:23:27 PM

GGracie: Keep Austin Wierd


I love how this implies that effort is somehow required.
 
2012-11-14 05:32:06 PM
Texas does have the Right to break up into smaller states, iirc.
 
2012-11-14 05:36:02 PM
Are we seriously going to green light every petition some ass hat posts on the White House website now?

...Well, I suppose it might be a refreshing change from green lighting every conservative website on the internet.
 
2012-11-14 05:45:58 PM
These petitions will get out of hand. They will get out of hand and we'll have to petition to live through it.
 
2012-11-14 06:00:26 PM

Surool: Are we seriously going to green light every petition some ass hat posts on the White House website now?

...Well, I suppose it might be a refreshing change from green lighting every conservative website on the internet.


Here, why don't you sign my petition to stop Fark from green lighting every petition posted on the white house website. It's here. If we can get 25,000 signatures, it may help.
 
2012-11-14 06:31:07 PM
Texas-A good place to be from.

//For state that has a lot of pride, you'd think that they'd have better beer.
//Fark Texass.
 
2012-11-14 06:41:15 PM
Louisville has a petition to secede from Kentucky. Something I wouldn't mind, in fact, I've already signed it. I don't like that my tax dollars are going to a creationist museum rather than education or whatever can be done to get The Turtle out of the Senate.

Link
 
2012-11-14 07:12:47 PM

IntertubeUser: Texas-A good place to be from.

//For state that has a lot of pride, you'd think that they'd have better beer.
//Fark Texass.


There's already 3 people on death row for insulting our beer. Care to make it 4?
 
2012-11-14 07:20:04 PM
Oh Austin, you were always the one I really loved! Break up with Texas and I will make sweet love to you.
 
2012-11-14 07:53:42 PM
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-11-14 08:08:42 PM
Hey guy's... everyone I have talked to says that if Texas does this, it will turn into Mexico... so why dont we sell Texas to Mexico? Say to the tune of what our debt is?

Win win...
 
2012-11-14 08:21:00 PM
GGracie: Keep Austin Wierd

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Saw that shirt/bummer sticker/poster all over Austin a few weekends ago. I really didn't want to tell them they are damn near exactly the same as Houston and Dallas.

So you were here for a weekend and know exactly what it's like? I assume you were here for ACL, meaning you saw Zilker Park, your hotel and maybe a few restaurants. And that's it.

A lot of what makes Austin a great place to live is not evident from a brief visit. There's plenty of weird here and no, it's not exactly the same as Houston and Dallas. It's not even close.

I bet you're one of those people who thinks it makes you sound cool to say things like that. Everyone thinks Austin is unique and great but you, Mr. Cool, dismissively yet authoritativly say it's the same as other cities in Texas. Not impressed. I know your type and you're not cool, you're boring.
 
2012-11-14 08:26:41 PM

Phins: GGracie: Keep Austin Wierd

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Saw that shirt/bummer sticker/poster all over Austin a few weekends ago. I really didn't want to tell them they are damn near exactly the same as Houston and Dallas.

So you were here for a weekend and know exactly what it's like? I assume you were here for ACL, meaning you saw Zilker Park, your hotel and maybe a few restaurants. And that's it.

A lot of what makes Austin a great place to live is not evident from a brief visit. There's plenty of weird here and no, it's not exactly the same as Houston and Dallas. It's not even close.

I bet you're one of those people who thinks it makes you sound cool to say things like that. Everyone thinks Austin is unique and great but you, Mr. Cool, dismissively yet authoritativly say it's the same as other cities in Texas. Not impressed. I know your type and you're not cool, you're boring.


Hipster-like typing detected.
 
2012-11-14 08:48:16 PM
i180.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-14 08:49:28 PM
Austin is wonderful. From the downtown area where the river is to the techy parts up on Research Road. The schools there are amazing. They really have a strong community that shows itself proudly every Friday night. The people are friendly. I couldn't get out of a store in under two hours just from all the conversations that people would strike up with me. The music makes Austin even better. And the burnt orange "Hook'em Horns" was loved by all even if they didn't like sports. Austin is a wonderful place. I moved from there to live near Seattle to be with a person. I weep frequently for this.

And Austin has Conan's pizza... so game over! Austin Rocks! :-)
 
2012-11-14 09:26:17 PM
They can't secede, so why not split up?

Into Right Texas and Left Texas. I'm in.
 
2012-11-14 11:10:41 PM
I hope my state secedes so i can be a dictator.
 
2012-11-15 12:40:36 AM
You know, every time I get fed up with all of the entitled, old-money TCU dickholes and their families full of helmet-headed, polo shirt wearin', no personality havin' dads and botox-and-big-hair moms and their Escalades here in Ft. Worth and start hating Texas, I take the 2.5 hour (2 if I-35 is clear) trip down to ATX and remember why I'm proud to be a Texan.

Two more years and I'll be moving there permanently. It's a lovely city full of fun and friendly people and there's never a shortage of good music in good venues with good crowds. Perfect.
 
2012-11-15 11:09:41 AM
the only people who still love austin are the people who have not lived here longer than 5-10 years watching the city go to fark from the influx of out of towners making it their own.

keep austin weird? sure that was a fitting motto 10-20 years ago. now it's keep austin cookie cutter california hipster.
 
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