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(CNN)   Apparently CNN's readers are too dumb to know what a solar eclipse is. From the main page: "What causes this remarkable event?" What indeed   (edition.cnn.com) divider line 107
    More: Stupid, solar eclipses, focal lengths, telephoto lens, eclipses, autofocus, general relativity  
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5320 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2012 at 10:11 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-14 08:33:44 AM  
It's caused when Cheech goes to the theatre and sits behind the guy with the Darnell Hillman afro.
 
2012-11-14 08:40:08 AM  
It's caused by magnets.
 
2012-11-14 08:40:41 AM  
This is what happens when a significant portion of the population disdains knowledge in favor of mouth drooling ignorance.
 
2012-11-14 08:56:30 AM  
And here I thought everyone spent a few years being fascinated with star charts and planetary phenomena. No?
 
2012-11-14 09:03:51 AM  
You know, it's not that I don't believe that there a lot dumb people reading CNN, because there are, but if the confusion is based around not being entirely sure of the distinction between a "lunar" and a "solar" eclipse, I'm inclined to forgive that as somewhat legitimate confusion.

If the confusion stems from the word "eclipse," though, and encompasses a mindset built around the vague notion that some great demon goat is eating the sun, well, that's a different story.
 
2012-11-14 09:20:36 AM  

Aarontology: This is what happens when a significant portion of the population disdains knowledge in favor of mouth drooling ignorance.


The word of the Lord is not Mouth Drooling Ignorance! The bible tells us that Moses darkened the sky, and I suppose you're here to tell us all it was just an eclipse and the writers of the bible embellished the length of time to make God seem more powerful than he was for propaganda to make them join the religion? Pshaw, yeah right! What did they have to gain from this aside from power, money and influence? Get your facts straight!
 
2012-11-14 09:23:08 AM  

Cythraul: It's caused by magnets.


How do they work?
 
2012-11-14 09:28:59 AM  

Pocket Ninja: You know, it's not that I don't believe that there a lot dumb people reading CNN, because there are, but if the confusion is based around not being entirely sure of the distinction between a "lunar" and a "solar" eclipse, I'm inclined to forgive that as somewhat legitimate confusion.

If the confusion stems from the word "eclipse," though, and encompasses a mindset built around the vague notion that some great demon goat is eating the sun, well, that's a different story.



Shhh!

www.naderlibrary.com
 
2012-11-14 09:55:16 AM  
M-O-O-N, that spells CNN.
 
2012-11-14 10:06:13 AM  
img.metro.co.uk

Mr. Burns
 
2012-11-14 10:11:57 AM  
CNN providing science education? More please. Especially compared to their usual 24-hour dreck.
 
2012-11-14 10:12:59 AM  
Clearly we need to do way instain moon.
 
2012-11-14 10:14:11 AM  
farking eclipses, how do they work?
 
2012-11-14 10:14:27 AM  

Aarontology: This is what happens when a significant portion of the population disdains knowledge in favor of mouth drooling ignorance.


You mean like when people don't know how to use hyphens?
 
2012-11-14 10:14:41 AM  
CHA
 
2012-11-14 10:15:00 AM  

ArkAngel: [img.metro.co.uk image 636x336]

Mr. Burns


24.media.tumblr.com

Wrong Simpson's reference.
 
2012-11-14 10:17:29 AM  
Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.
 
2012-11-14 10:18:20 AM  
It's caused by your GOD demanding a virgin sacrifice, preferably on an altar. Throwing her into a volcano is also acceptable.
 
2012-11-14 10:18:29 AM  

Pocket Ninja: You know, it's not that I don't believe that there a lot dumb people reading CNN, because there are, but if the confusion is based around not being entirely sure of the distinction between a "lunar" and a "solar" eclipse, I'm inclined to forgive that as somewhat legitimate confusion.

If the confusion stems from the word "eclipse," though, and encompasses a mindset built around the vague notion that some great demon goat is eating the sun, well, that's a different story.


I agree. Not with the goat thing. That had nothing to do with an eclipse and everything to do with a dirty pay phone...

but I digress. If the problem is not being able to clearly visualize why it doesn't happen more often, or how one would go about knowing when it will happen, or even why an eclipse would take away your super powers, I could understand wanting to know more. Plus even if somebody DOESN'T know what an eclipse is, why would you get upset that CNN is telling them?
 
2012-11-14 10:18:49 AM  
i208.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-14 10:19:43 AM  
It happens when a dragon eats the sun. We make a lot of noise by banging pots and pans. Eventually the dragon gets scared off by the noise and spits out the sun.
 
2012-11-14 10:20:08 AM  
I tried to watch a solar eclipse once but I picked a bad spot. The moon was in the way.
 
2012-11-14 10:20:18 AM  
Next on CNN what happens when one side of the Earth blocks the sun, when you can expect it to happen, how to prepare and the technical term for it.
 
2012-11-14 10:20:22 AM  

PsyLord: It's caused by your GOD demanding a virgin sacrifice, preferably on an altar. Throwing her into a volcano is also acceptable.


I was always curious how that was supposed to work.

The sacrifice was to bring the sun back, right? But eclipses only last a couple of minutes. Those priests must have been just itching to sacrifice someone, what with sacrifice, altar, and sharpened knives just waiting for some transient calamity to provide an excuse for a quick vivisection.

Because if you just dally too long, the sun comes back on its own. 

\Then again, it's not like virgins are good for anything else
 
2012-11-14 10:20:39 AM  
Maybe, just maybe CNN panders to the lowest common denominator. I am waiting for the article "Everybody Poops"
 
2012-11-14 10:22:42 AM  

quantum_csc: Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.


People would find Snookie more interesting. Sad.
 
2012-11-14 10:23:26 AM  

quantum_csc: Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.


On the internet? My word, what a brilliant concept. I simply must subscribe to your newsletter.
 
2012-11-14 10:23:34 AM  
Bullshiat. Every one knows that an eclipse is the result of the gods being angry for our having failed to sacrifice a virgin on a regular basis. Eclipses bring pestilence and death to the derelicts. Stupid CNN.

/we used to learn this stuff in the 4th grade
 
2012-11-14 10:25:06 AM  

quantum_csc: Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.


THIS

/you can't feed a baby steak
 
2012-11-14 10:25:24 AM  
Samuel Clemens was born during a visit from Haley's comet and died during the next. In 1959, when I was born, Venus occulted Regulus. Wonder if I will be around for the next time, 2044.
 
2012-11-14 10:26:17 AM  

Brockman: All Springfielders should now move off the streets and inside their homes. Please avoid the superstitious panic that marked the recent lunar eclipse.
[a picture of Homer rioting, standing on Abraham Simpson is shown]

Homer: Heheh. Sorry dad. I was afraid the dragon wouldn't cough the moon back up.

Grampa: You idgit! The dragon always coughs the moon back up!
 
2012-11-14 10:27:39 AM  
PsyLord
It's caused by your GOD demanding a virgin sacrifice, preferably on an altar. Throwing her into a volcano is also acceptable.
Fresh outta virgins 'round here!
 
2012-11-14 10:28:31 AM  
True story:

Mars rover send back picture of martian sunset.

Facebook reply: Wow, I didn't know mars had a sun too! That's beautiful!
 
2012-11-14 10:29:33 AM  

signaljammer: Samuel Clemens was born during a visit from Haley's comet and died during the next. In 1959, when I was born, Venus occulted Regulus. Wonder if I will be around for the next time, 2044.


Nah, you'll probably be dead, LOL
 
2012-11-14 10:29:50 AM  
An eclipse is caused when you stop providing food to Christopher Columbus and his god becomes angry and turns the moon red in His rage.
 
2012-11-14 10:30:07 AM  

The Repeated Meme: quantum_csc: Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.

THIS

/you can't feed a baby steak


You could serve me a baby steak though, and I'll feed myself.

/I'll be here all week, try the...
 
2012-11-14 10:30:55 AM  
I thought a giant wolf ate the sun chariot.
 
2012-11-14 10:32:26 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Maybe, just maybe CNN panders to the lowest common denominator. I am waiting for the article "Everybody Poops"


They're making a move to take Fox News' viewers.
 
2012-11-14 10:35:50 AM  
What an Umbra might look like.

livedoor.blogimg.jp
A sexy goth-librarian Umbra.

/Don't fark with a witch. 
//Especially an Umbra witch.
 
2012-11-14 10:36:09 AM  
The Sun is there.
 
2012-11-14 10:36:56 AM  
1 in 4 people in the US can't identify the planet Earth, this may just confuse them even more.
 
2012-11-14 10:40:02 AM  
www.freescapes.net
 
2012-11-14 10:41:53 AM  
I think I will run for office and have a speech outside during an eclipse and tell them to vote for me or I wont bring back the sun. Ill stay in office forever!! I like lunar ones more since ya dont need a welders goggles to look at it.
 
2012-11-14 10:42:39 AM  
Someday we'll know why the sky is blue.

content9.flixster.com
 
2012-11-14 10:42:57 AM  
do u like eclipse?
lets play eclipse
knocking down the pins
and get hot communication
 
2012-11-14 10:44:10 AM  

Aarontology: This is what happens when a significant portion of the population disdains knowledge in favor of mouth drooling ignorance.



Dude, the election's over. Give it a rest.
 
2012-11-14 10:48:42 AM  

MythDragon: What an Umbra might look like.


Is that supposed to be, like, and anti-Palin or something?
 
2012-11-14 10:49:37 AM  
images.wikia.com

Wanted for questioning.
 
2012-11-14 10:49:51 AM  
Turn around, bright eyes.
 
2012-11-14 10:50:30 AM  

Valiente: Dude, the election's over. Give it a rest.


?!?

I thought his comment was spot on. Election, or totalitarian rule.
 
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