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(The New York Times)   The NY Times reviews Guy Fieri's new restaurant and, well... "Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?"   (nytimes.com) divider line 268
    More: Amusing, Guy Fieri, American Kitchen, nuclear waste, Jamaican patty, Emily Dickinson, American food, Small Magellanic Cloud, watermelon margarita  
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13306 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2012 at 10:27 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



268 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-14 08:36:14 AM  
Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.
 
2012-11-14 08:46:57 AM  
"That's Money!"
 
2012-11-14 08:49:26 AM  
Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?
 
2012-11-14 08:53:33 AM  
Watch less TV. Not a question.
 
2012-11-14 08:59:14 AM  
"Donkey Sauce" will be the name of my niche erotica punk-styled garage band.
 
2012-11-14 09:01:22 AM  

Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?


How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?
 
2012-11-14 09:02:39 AM  

xanadian: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?


Is this a difficult game?
 
2012-11-14 09:15:50 AM  

Cythraul: xanadian: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?

Is this a difficult game?


Do you have a basic idea of the rules based solely off the title?

/of course, perhaps "Questionable Impressions" on Whose Line? is harder?
 
2012-11-14 09:18:49 AM  

Paris1127: Cythraul: xanadian: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?

Is this a difficult game?

Do you have a basic idea of the rules based solely off the title?

/of course, perhaps "Questionable Impressions" on Whose Line? is harder?


Wouldn't the nature of playing this game through the internet make the game less challenging? Wouldn't having ample time to think of a response in the form of question, removed from the spontaneity of in-person participation reduce the skill required?
 
2012-11-14 09:19:14 AM  
And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce,which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?
 
2012-11-14 09:28:02 AM  

Cythraul: Paris1127: Cythraul: xanadian: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?

Is this a difficult game?

Do you have a basic idea of the rules based solely off the title?

/of course, perhaps "Questionable Impressions" on Whose Line? is harder?

Wouldn't the nature of playing this game through the internet make the game less challenging? Wouldn't having ample time to think of a response in the form of question, removed from the spontaneity of in-person participation reduce the skill required?


But in this case isn't it necessary to make do with what we have? Shouldn't the purpose of this game be just to have fun? Weren't the points on [the American version of] Whose Line? worthless?
 
2012-11-14 09:38:32 AM  
Oh dear, did I start this mess?
 
2012-11-14 09:54:48 AM  
c-c-c-c-combo breaker?

sh*t, i f*cked that up, didn't i?
 
2012-11-14 09:58:39 AM  
What the fark is going on here?
 
2012-11-14 10:07:28 AM  

Staffist: What the fark is going on here?


i'm sorry, did you come in here expecting engaging conversation? is that more or less dumb than going to time square and expecting a quality dining experience?
 
2012-11-14 10:08:09 AM  

Paris1127: Cythraul: Paris1127: Cythraul: xanadian: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?

Is this a difficult game?

Do you have a basic idea of the rules based solely off the title?

/of course, perhaps "Questionable Impressions" on Whose Line? is harder?

Wouldn't the nature of playing this game through the internet make the game less challenging? Wouldn't having ample time to think of a response in the form of question, removed from the spontaneity of in-person participation reduce the skill required?

But in this case isn't it necessary to make do with what we have? Shouldn't the purpose of this game be just to have fun? Weren't the points on [the American version of] Whose Line? worthless?


The hell are you talking about?
 
2012-11-14 10:16:26 AM  
Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.
 
2012-11-14 10:17:07 AM  

xanadian: Oh dear, did I start this mess?


Yeah, did you?
 
2012-11-14 10:17:44 AM  

xanadian: Oh dear, did I start this mess?


Or was it I? Wasn't I the first person to post only questions? Even if I didn't know the thread would (d)evolve into Questions Only?
 
2012-11-14 10:30:20 AM  

Cythraul: Paris1127: Cythraul: xanadian: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?

Is this a difficult game?

Do you have a basic idea of the rules based solely off the title?

/of course, perhaps "Questionable Impressions" on Whose Line? is harder?

Wouldn't the nature of playing this game through the internet make the game less challenging? Wouldn't having ample time to think of a response in the form of question, removed from the spontaneity of in-person participation reduce the skill required?


All you have to do is raise your pitch at the end of the sentence?
 
2012-11-14 10:30:29 AM  
am I the only one who thinks antifreeze looks tasty? Could be due to my childhood love of EctoCooler

/never tried antifreeze
 
2012-11-14 10:31:25 AM  

damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.


Agreed. In my younger and more vulnerable years, my wife (then-girlfriend) and I ate at the Hard Rock Cafe, because why not? Sincerely average food that cost twice what a normal HRC cost (which is high to begin with).

The pizza we had across the water in North Bergen was absolutely fantastic, though.
 
2012-11-14 10:32:14 AM  

skullkrusher: am I the only one who thinks antifreeze looks tasty? Could be due to my childhood love of EctoCooler

/never tried antifreeze


animals think it's tasty too.

/ that's why you should really take care of any antifreeze leaks or spills, because and can kill all the animals around.
 
2012-11-14 10:33:02 AM  

damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.


Guy Fieri may be an enormous douche, but he's not an idiot. Open a restaurant in Times Square and wait for all the fat flyover tourist humps to flock through the doors and pile generic food into their mouths. The fact that people travel to this city and willingly restrict themselves to Times Square's overpriced garbage is amazing.

Christ, walk out past 8th avenue and even Restaurant Row has better options. It's only two blocks, it won't kill ya.
 
2012-11-14 10:33:26 AM  
Uhhhmmmm?
 
2012-11-14 10:33:32 AM  
and the rules of 20 questions flew right out the door for this author.
 
2012-11-14 10:33:36 AM  
Ouch.
 
2012-11-14 10:33:52 AM  

skullkrusher: am I the only one who thinks antifreeze looks tasty? Could be due to my childhood love of EctoCooler

/never tried antifreeze


It tastes sweet, which is why it's used to poison people so often. True story.

And he put it in Times Square to collect rube tourist money, in case that was lost on anyone. Of course it's terrible, he only has to compete with the TGI Fridays.

Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.
 
2012-11-14 10:34:31 AM  
Restaurant Review: Guy's American Kitchen & Bar in Times Square

All you need to know to stop reading.
 
2012-11-14 10:34:51 AM  
How would you picky folks prefer a reviewer skewer the impressively awful business decisions of that Ed Hardy-clad, over-roasted douche?
 
2012-11-14 10:35:19 AM  

damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.


Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".
 
2012-11-14 10:35:27 AM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce,which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?


The sauce part, maybe?
 
2012-11-14 10:37:15 AM  

Freudian_slipknot: How would you picky folks prefer a reviewer skewer the impressively awful business decisions of that Ed Hardy-clad, over-roasted douche?


by reviewing the higher quality alternatives in the area and giving them free press instead?
 
2012-11-14 10:37:21 AM  

WTF Indeed: Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.


Great. Now can we do something about the various Jimmy Buffet restaurants?
 
2012-11-14 10:38:18 AM  

Yanks_RSJ: damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.

Guy Fieri may be an enormous douche, but he's not an idiot. Open a restaurant in Times Square and wait for all the fat flyover tourist humps to flock through the doors and pile generic food into their mouths. The fact that people travel to this city and willingly restrict themselves to Times Square's overpriced garbage is amazing.

Christ, walk out past 8th avenue and even Restaurant Row has better options. It's only two blocks, it won't kill ya.


Wait a minute. You want the fat flyover humps in line in front of you at the good restaurants?

The restriction to the tourist area isn't surprising. People continue to visit las vegas
 
2012-11-14 10:38:32 AM  

Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".


I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.
 
2012-11-14 10:39:00 AM  

fireclown: WTF Indeed: Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.

Great. Now can we do something about the various Jimmy Buffet restaurants?


Or Buffalo Wild Wings?
 
2012-11-14 10:39:25 AM  
I cannot stand that guy. So farking annoying.
 
2012-11-14 10:39:40 AM  
I know women that have crushes on him. Shudder.
 
2012-11-14 10:40:20 AM  
Well, there's your problem. You tried to EAT the food. You were supposed to just watch the food on TV.
 
2012-11-14 10:41:22 AM  

Yanks_RSJ: damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.

Guy Fieri may be an enormous douche, but he's not an idiot. Open a restaurant in Times Square and wait for all the fat flyover tourist humps to flock through the doors and pile generic food into their mouths. The fact that people travel to this city and willingly restrict themselves to Times Square's overpriced garbage is amazing.

Christ, walk out past 8th avenue and even Restaurant Row has better options. It's only two blocks, it won't kill ya.


Yeah, Guy didn't open this place for the elite New Yorker. Tourists have no idea where to go to eat, so they go to Times Square and pick something familiar. In a previous post, I explained how I fell victim to this once.

On my first trip to New York (I was 12 or so), my family ate at a McDonald's. We're from West Virginia. Tourists don't know any better.
 
2012-11-14 10:41:35 AM  

fireclown: WTF Indeed: Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.

Great. Now can we do something about the various Jimmy Buffet restaurants?


At least Jimmy Buffet doesn't pretend to be a chef.
 
2012-11-14 10:41:56 AM  

Frankenstorm: I know women that have crushes on him. Shudder.


Do any of them, perchance, have two feet?
 
2012-11-14 10:42:56 AM  
I think that fictional character Nadia G could take fictional character Guy Fieri in a fight.
 
2012-11-14 10:43:07 AM  

moothemagiccow: Wait a minute. You want the fat flyover humps in line in front of you at the good restaurants?


No, that's why I sent them to restaurant row.
 
2012-11-14 10:44:53 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.


Guess what the highest grossing restaurant in Manhattan is!
 
2012-11-14 10:45:16 AM  

LockeOak: At least Jimmy Buffet doesn't pretend to be a chef.


I'm not sure Fieri does either. I'm not an expert on his show, but I think he pretty much just goes around to other peoples restaurants, watches them cook, try some food and tell them how awesome it is.
 
2012-11-14 10:45:22 AM  
I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?
 
2012-11-14 10:45:36 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: skullkrusher: am I the only one who thinks antifreeze looks tasty? Could be due to my childhood love of EctoCooler

/never tried antifreeze

It tastes sweet, which is why it's used to poison people so often. True story.

And he put it in Times Square to collect rube tourist money, in case that was lost on anyone. Of course it's terrible, he only has to compete with the TGI Fridays.

Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.


I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?
 
2012-11-14 10:45:52 AM  

AngryPanda: fireclown: WTF Indeed: Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.

Great. Now can we do something about the various Jimmy Buffet restaurants?

Or Buffalo Wild Wings?


It is a source of bewilderment to me that Buffalo Wild Wings has locations in Buffalo. It can't be for the tourist trade, because Buffalo has no tourists. And every local knows that even the local sub shop will have wings twice as good for less than half the price. How the hell do they stay in business?
 
2012-11-14 10:46:08 AM  
What if there were no rhetorical questions?
 
2012-11-14 10:47:04 AM  

LockeOak: At least Jimmy Buffet doesn't pretend to be a chef.


No, but he pretends to be a song writer. And it's a hell of a lot easier to avoid Guy Fieri's restaurants than it is to avoid Jimmy Buffet's music. Ugh.
 
2012-11-14 10:47:07 AM  
Writing an article in all questions seems like a great idea, this totally won't make anyone want to slap me and disregard everything I'm saying.
 
2012-11-14 10:47:33 AM  
I want to try an Almond Joy cocktail.
 
2012-11-14 10:47:58 AM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

BOLD FLAVORS!
 
2012-11-14 10:48:07 AM  

Grither: HotWingConspiracy: Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.

Guess what the highest grossing restaurant in Manhattan is!


My girlfriend's mom lives on a houseboat in the Bronx (don't ask) and she will only dine at TGI Fridays.
 
2012-11-14 10:48:07 AM  
Am I the only one who thinks improv games are the lowest form of comedy?
 
2012-11-14 10:48:36 AM  

The Third Man: AngryPanda: fireclown: WTF Indeed: Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.

Great. Now can we do something about the various Jimmy Buffet restaurants?

Or Buffalo Wild Wings?

It is a source of bewilderment to me that Buffalo Wild Wings has locations in Buffalo. It can't be for the tourist trade, because Buffalo has no tourists. And every local knows that even the local sub shop will have wings twice as good for less than half the price. How the hell do they stay in business?


I bet Santa Fe has Chili's, NYC and Chicago have Domino's and Papa John's.. hell, I live down the block from a Pizzeria Uno... Chicago chain pizza in my town? That's like stepping on a church here!
 
2012-11-14 10:48:46 AM  

The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?


"We add just a little for-mal-dee-hyde for flavor."


Home of shiny green suit!
 
2012-11-14 10:49:34 AM  
Why the hell do you douchily wear sunglasses on your head backwards like a douche?
 
2012-11-14 10:49:35 AM  
Bleg. Just give me a nice dark beer.

On the rare occasion that I do want a drink drink, it's an Extra Dirty Sapphire Martini. Yum.
 
2012-11-14 10:50:44 AM  

Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?


i171.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-14 10:51:17 AM  
Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.
 
2012-11-14 10:51:28 AM  
Why does everyone feel the need to ask questions? Aren't articles supposed to answer questions?
 
2012-11-14 10:51:42 AM  

The Third Man: AngryPanda: fireclown: WTF Indeed: Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.

Great. Now can we do something about the various Jimmy Buffet restaurants?

Or Buffalo Wild Wings?

It is a source of bewilderment to me that Buffalo Wild Wings has locations in Buffalo. It can't be for the tourist trade, because Buffalo has no tourists. And every local knows that even the local sub shop will have wings twice as good for less than half the price. How the hell do they stay in business?


20 years ago they were pretty damn good - the wings were large and cheap, the beer was varied and reasonable. Hell, much like most bars the food was there to give you something to do while you drank. Now the wings look like the chickens had polio and the cost went from a complete afterthought to "hmmm I could have had a steak somewhere for what I paid for 20 wings....."
 
2012-11-14 10:51:51 AM  

Yanks_RSJ: damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.

Guy Fieri may be an enormous douche, but he's not an idiot. Open a restaurant in Times Square and wait for all the fat flyover tourist humps to flock through the doors and pile generic food into their mouths. The fact that people travel to this city and willingly restrict themselves to Times Square's overpriced garbage is amazing.

Christ, walk out past 8th avenue and even Restaurant Row has better options. It's only two blocks, it won't kill ya.


that's how toursits are. come to new orleans, a place visited for its food, and you see the tourist traps brimming over the top with out-of-towners savoring the worst food the city has to offer. and getting charged for it. and there are good restaurants within walking distance. sometimes, just next door. but they don't have "Best gumbo in new orleans" on a poster and picture of really big drink specials

/ as a general rule, if the place says home of the best _____, it is not the home of the best _____.
 
2012-11-14 10:52:54 AM  

skullkrusher:


I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?


I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.

I hate Olive Garden, but as I get older I get it. Sometimes you just want to eat...not be the lame kid sitting at the cool kid table sticking out like a soar thumb.
 
2012-11-14 10:52:57 AM  

WarszawaScream: Writing an article in all questions seems like a great idea, this totally won't make anyone want to slap me and disregard everything I'm saying.


Looking around, the review looks to be going viral, so, yes, it was a great idea.
 
2012-11-14 10:53:02 AM  
Yelp would have probably filtered that review.
 
2012-11-14 10:53:14 AM  

topcon: Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.


i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-14 10:53:28 AM  

Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?


Sour mix and blue curacao go a long way.
 
2012-11-14 10:53:29 AM  

Grither: HotWingConspiracy: Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.

Guess what the highest grossing restaurant in Manhattan is!



Yeah well your Mom may go down on twenty-five johns a night but it's not hard to find someone who does it better.
 
2012-11-14 10:53:44 AM  
You mean a touristy eatery run by celebrity in Times Square isn't the pinnicle of culinary perfection? I'm shocked, SHOCKED!
 
2012-11-14 10:54:23 AM  
Shocking... an overpriced shiatty restaurant in Times Square... I'll get to the RomeroCopter.
 
2012-11-14 10:55:23 AM  
"How, for example, did Rhode Island's supremely unhealthy and awesomely good fried calamari - dressed with garlic butter and pickled hot peppers - end up in your restaurant as a plate of pale, unsalted squid rings next to a dish of sweet mayonnaise with a distant rumor of spice? "


Indeed, how the fark do you fark up fried calimari? Every pizza joint and diner around me knows how to make it. It's the simplest thig in the world to make outside of toast.

Also, RI calimari can come with marinara sauce on the side as a dip. I do both.
 
2012-11-14 10:55:37 AM  
Only a couple paragraphs into that douchey article, I had to stop. A series of questions is not good writing.

Hard to pick who's more annoying: Fieri or NYT guy.

I actually don't mind his Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives show. I don't watch the others.
 
2012-11-14 10:55:46 AM  

Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?


www.fallout3.net

Nuka-Cola Quantum?
 
2012-11-14 10:56:29 AM  
It is for tourists who do not know any better.

Why is the watermelon blue?

Peter Wells is much better writer than Sam Sifton. I;m glad he is gone.
 
2012-11-14 10:57:11 AM  

pute kisses like a man: / as a general rule, if the place says home of the best _____, it is not the home of the best _____.


You did it! Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody!
 
2012-11-14 10:58:23 AM  

Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?


Uranium.

Barring that, a mixture of iodine and vinegar
 
2012-11-14 10:58:35 AM  
You want character and good food?

The Meatball Shop
 
2012-11-14 10:59:09 AM  

thomps: Staffist: What the fark is going on here?

i'm sorry, did you come in here expecting engaging conversation? is that more or less dumb than going to time square and expecting a quality dining experience?


They're the same people who come to San Francisco and ask where to eat at Pier 39.

Hint: if locals don't eat there, run away.
 
2012-11-14 10:59:33 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?


"We add just a little for-mal-dee-hyde for flavor."


Home of shiny green suit!


Earl! Earl! You bring me the Walter Brennan tape? I give you my bah!
 
2012-11-14 11:00:00 AM  
When a writer fills their article/letter with questions, it's a sign of anger. That the reviewer "asked" so many questions tells me they had moved past giving a bad review, and stepped squarely into revenge territory - as in "Guy Fierri must Pay for this outrage".

Anger aside, the review describes the exact kind of restaurant I like to avoid: pretentious with crappy food.

At least you can't accuse them of being overrated!
 
2012-11-14 11:00:02 AM  

topcon: Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.


Wait... those are two different people?
 
2012-11-14 11:01:32 AM  

fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.


Well, sure, assuming your idea of a good time is seeing a dozen Elmos basking in a warm Neon glow...
 
2012-11-14 11:01:45 AM  

Langdon Alger: and the rules of 20 questions flew right out the door for this author.


THIS. As much as I dislike Guy Fieri, the author sounds like a whiny biatch. I stopped reading about 4 paragraphs down and just scrolled to see how many more paragraphs began with a question. How about not asking all those rhetorical snarky questions and give me a G-D review.

Review: Poor.
 
2012-11-14 11:01:51 AM  
I dunno, I thought the menu looked pretty good

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-11-14 11:01:59 AM  

tricycleracer: I think that fictional character Nadia G could take fictional character Guy Fieri in a fight.


Of course she could, she's really Andrew Dice Clay in drag
 
2012-11-14 11:03:22 AM  
I had some friends go to NY for the marathon years ago and they mentioned they had dinner at the Olive Garden in Times Square. Their rationale was that they had a race the next morning and wanted to eat somewhere they were familiar with.

I'm blaming it on the fact they're from Iowa.
 
2012-11-14 11:03:30 AM  

Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?


One part vodak, one part green fluid from a glowstick.

\enjoy your stomach cancer
 
2012-11-14 11:04:00 AM  

thomps: Staffist: What the fark is going on here?

i'm sorry, did you come in here expecting engaging conversation? is that more or less dumb than going to time square and expecting a quality dining experience?


WHO WANTS DONKEY SAUCE?
 
2012-11-14 11:04:16 AM  
I want to know why a majority of dudebros who host shows on food network are such tools. that sandwich guy aggravates the crap out of me. Guy Fieri, goes without saying. there is a guy in chicago, ted Brunson who is a massive douche.


and yes Alton Brown is awesome. I know.
 
2012-11-14 11:04:49 AM  
Cee-rist, Could Food Network do MORE to destroy taste in America? Paula Deen, Rachael Ray, Buttered Diabetes Lady, Shill McProductbacking, Sandra "Hate You Die" Lee, or Dee, or whatever the hell...

/and everyone in my stupid town is THRILLED over the opening of a goddamn Cheesecake Factory...
 
2012-11-14 11:04:50 AM  
So let me get this straight, tourists don't know where the best local restaurants are?
 
2012-11-14 11:04:51 AM  

joaquin closet: What if there were no rhetorical questions?


If there were no rhetorical questions, would that mean that philosophy would not exist?
 
2012-11-14 11:05:19 AM  

Cythraul: Paris1127: Cythraul: xanadian: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?

Is this a difficult game?

Do you have a basic idea of the rules based solely off the title?

/of course, perhaps "Questionable Impressions" on Whose Line? is harder?

Wouldn't the nature of playing this game through the internet make the game less challenging? Wouldn't having ample time to think of a response in the form of question, removed from the spontaneity of in-person participation reduce the skill required?


Foul! Rhetorical questions. 15-Love.
 
2012-11-14 11:06:27 AM  

busy chillin': skullkrusher:


I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?

I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.

I hate Olive Garden, but as I get older I get it. Sometimes you just want to eat...not be the lame kid sitting at the cool kid table sticking out like a soar thumb.


If they're already adventurous enough to find themselves in NYC, I don't think it would take them out of a comfort zone to eat at a non-chain restaurant.

And it's NYC, nobody pays attention to you and nobody cares. They're busy eating or thinking about what to eat next.
 
2012-11-14 11:07:06 AM  
I used to like Triple D but Fieri's gotten so damn obnoxious lately, All he does is mug for the camera. It's not at all about the food any more, just GF cracking wise. Plus, half the places he goes to now are not diners, drive-ins OR dives. They're just plain restaurants. Can't remember the last drive-in he went to. And stop with wearing the same outfit all the time, esp. the flip-flops. We don't care and making jokes about your own outfit makes you look like a bigger tool than you actually are.

Give me Adam Richman of Man vs Food. He, at least, is genuinely entertaining and seems to love food. And of course, Alton Brown rocks...speaking of which, when will Alton do a new Feasting on Asphalt?
 
2012-11-14 11:07:19 AM  

KatjaMouse: Am I the only one who thinks improv games are the lowest form of comedy?


Nope, it's actually puns used during improv games
 
2012-11-14 11:08:04 AM  
BAM!

/is that the guy? yeah, that's him, I think
 
2012-11-14 11:08:09 AM  

kombat_unit: So let me get this straight, tourists don't know where the best local restaurants are?


Yeah, if only there was a way for people to look things up before arriving in town. Or helpful people at the hotel desk who I'm sure would not suggest eating at Olive Garden or Guy Fieri's High Density Tourist Feed Lot.
 
2012-11-14 11:08:34 AM  

Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?


You sound Irish?
 
2012-11-14 11:08:45 AM  
Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace? Wait... those are two different people?

Yes. Guy Fieri looks like he stuck his wiener in a light socket. Nancy Grace looks like she wants to put someone's wiener into a light socket.
 
2012-11-14 11:08:53 AM  

The Third Man: It is a source of bewilderment to me that Buffalo Wild Wings has locations in Buffalo.


For the same reason Dominos and Papa Johns have locations in NYC. Some people are too stupid to even feed themselves fast food properly.
 
2012-11-14 11:09:08 AM  

ColSanders: LockeOak: At least Jimmy Buffet doesn't pretend to be a chef.

No, but he pretends to be a song writer. And it's a hell of a lot easier to avoid Guy Fieri's restaurants than it is to avoid Jimmy Buffet's music. Ugh.


I work in the Florida Keys. Believe me, I know.
 
2012-11-14 11:09:09 AM  
Are we still playing this game?

Why would someone on facebook share this article as a RECOMMENDATION to try this restaurant to a mutual friend on travel to NYC near Times Square? Why would they do that when I'd already summarized the article as "Eat Elsewhere?"

Private_Citizen: That the reviewer "asked" so many questions tells me they had moved past giving a bad review, and stepped squarely into revenge territory - as in "Guy Fierri must Pay for this outrage".


Was it too hard to phrase this in the form of a question? Could it be that Guy Fieri's other restaurants are consistently and across the board well above this one?

Private_Citizen: Anger aside, the review describes the exact kind of restaurant I like to avoid: pretentious with crappy food.


Is it too late to completely agree?
 
2012-11-14 11:10:49 AM  
Why does the reviewer not follow his rating system?

WHAT THE STARS MEAN Ratings range from zero to four stars and reflect the reviewer's reaction primarily to food, with ambience, service and price taken into consideration.

Then he rates it POOR?

So whats a poor? 3 1/2 stars?

I can haz questions too?
 
2012-11-14 11:11:03 AM  
FTFA Guy's American Kitchen & Bar in Times Square

And I stopped right there. Its in Time Square - so of course its going to be a tourist trap for middle aged housewives from Cleveland with god awful food.
 
2012-11-14 11:11:38 AM  

pute kisses like a man: that's how toursits are. come to new orleans, a place visited for its food, and you see the tourist traps brimming over the top with out-of-towners savoring the worst food the city has to offer. and getting charged for it. and there are good restaurants within walking distance. sometimes, just next door. but they don't have "Best gumbo in new orleans" on a poster and picture of really big drink specials


Partly that's because in New Orleans, about 12 square blocks of the city are safe, and the better restaurants are typically wedged between two strip clubs.

\what a festering shiathole of a city. I don't understand what the nutria see in the place
 
2012-11-14 11:11:40 AM  
They just described every chain restaurant within 3 blocks of Times Square.
 
2012-11-14 11:12:08 AM  
thechive.files.wordpress.com
I tried watching his show, it gave me a seizure. Now I black out whenever I see blinking lights.

fark you Guy Fieri.
 
2012-11-14 11:12:56 AM  
While we have our dander up about how lousy chain resturaunts are, is there a GOOD droid app for finding good non chain resturaunts? Apart from YELP, WHERE, and the other big 'uns. It seems like there should be one, but I haven't found a good one yet.

It would do a lot toward my eating better when I travel.
 
2012-11-14 11:13:16 AM  
I always get a chuckle with Red Lobster commercials and their 'this pricing doesn't count in Times Square or Hawaii'. WTF would go to Times Square and eat at Red Lobster?
 
2012-11-14 11:13:44 AM  

The Third Man: AngryPanda: fireclown: WTF Indeed: Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.

Great. Now can we do something about the various Jimmy Buffet restaurants?

Or Buffalo Wild Wings?

It is a source of bewilderment to me that Buffalo Wild Wings has locations in Buffalo. It can't be for the tourist trade, because Buffalo has no tourists. And every local knows that even the local sub shop will have wings twice as good for less than half the price. How the hell do they stay in business?


We don't. The only locations in the city of Buffalo closed a couple years ago, and the new one that replaced them is in Williamsville.

I don't dislike BWW, and the place that keeps winning 'awards' for its subs in Buffalo...is Wegmans, FFS. My local pizza place makes wings that suck hard, and the last "sub shop" I saw was in 1990 or so.

I just like more choices in my 'flavors' than margarine+franks red hot or margarine and A LOT of franks red hot....but BWW is a "restaurant" like Dunkin' Donuts is a "restaurant." You go there because you can get a few dozen wings for a party in about 30 minutes, as opposed to waiting hours for LaNova.
 
2012-11-14 11:14:03 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: busy chillin': skullkrusher:


I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?

I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.

I hate Olive Garden, but as I get older I get it. Sometimes you just want to eat...not be the lame kid sitting at the cool kid table sticking out like a soar thumb.

If they're already adventurous enough to find themselves in NYC, I don't think it would take them out of a comfort zone to eat at a non-chain restaurant.

And it's NYC, nobody pays attention to you and nobody cares. They're busy eating or thinking about what to eat next.


Just going to NYC isn't adventurous. Maybe they are there on business or to see family. Anyway, it was you do there that makes it adventurous. You can go to NYC and stay in your hotel room the whole time,,,that ain't adventurous.

And it doesn't matter if people actually sneer at you ...it is the internal feeling knowing that you yourself feel out of place.

I'm not really defending people that do this...i am just saying I get it. I have felt dumb in restaurants... all of a sudden you realize you don't belong here. But I'm not cool and don't really get into food much, so YMMV
 
2012-11-14 11:15:45 AM  

The_Fuzz: Why does the reviewer not follow his rating system?

WHAT THE STARS MEAN Ratings range from zero to four stars and reflect the reviewer's reaction primarily to food, with ambience, service and price taken into consideration.

Then he rates it POOR?

So whats a poor? 3 1/2 stars?

I can haz questions too?


Do you see any stars? Then it's zero stars.
 
2012-11-14 11:16:10 AM  

NashMcNash: On my first trip to New York (I was 12 or so), my family ate at a McDonald's. We're from West Virginia. Tourists don't know any better.


I found stopping into a McDonalds and a Burger King in Germany to be fascinating.

1. Really popular (the free wi-fi helped)
2. It's educational to observe the differences
 
2012-11-14 11:16:14 AM  

TheGreatGazoo: I always get a chuckle with Red Lobster commercials and their 'this pricing doesn't count in Times Square or Hawaii'. WTF would go to Times Square and eat at Red Lobster?


Who would go to Times Square to begin with? Why, the people who eat at Red Lobster, of course!
 
2012-11-14 11:16:16 AM  

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: topcon: Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.

Wait... those are two different people?


Or are you thinking of paula dean?
 
2012-11-14 11:16:24 AM  

factoryconnection: Are we still playing this game?

Why would someone on facebook share this article as a RECOMMENDATION to try this restaurant to a mutual friend on travel to NYC near Times Square? Why would they do that when I'd already summarized the article as "Eat Elsewhere?"

Private_Citizen: That the reviewer "asked" so many questions tells me they had moved past giving a bad review, and stepped squarely into revenge territory - as in "Guy Fierri must Pay for this outrage".

Was it too hard to phrase this in the form of a question? Could it be that Guy Fieri's other restaurants are consistently and across the board well above this one?

Private_Citizen: Anger aside, the review describes the exact kind of restaurant I like to avoid: pretentious with crappy food.

Is it too late to completely agree?


It's never too late to completely agree?
 
2012-11-14 11:16:38 AM  

Hoboclown: I dunno, I thought the menu looked pretty good

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 625x809]


Is that supposed to be funny? Should I feel bad for chuckling?

kombat_unit: So let me get this straight, tourists don't know where the best local restaurants are?


Would you feel better giving them points for not choosing a chain they have in their hometown? There aren't many Guy Fieri restaurants anywhere, so can we give them a pass for going for a little bit familiar?
 
2012-11-14 11:16:51 AM  

BrianGriffin: I used to like Triple D but Fieri's gotten so damn obnoxious lately, All he does is mug for the camera. It's not at all about the food any more, just GF cracking wise. Plus, half the places he goes to now are not diners, drive-ins OR dives. They're just plain restaurants. Can't remember the last drive-in he went to. And stop with wearing the same outfit all the time, esp. the flip-flops. We don't care and making jokes about your own outfit makes you look like a bigger tool than you actually are.

Give me Adam Richman of Man vs Food. He, at least, is genuinely entertaining and seems to love food. And of course, Alton Brown rocks...speaking of which, when will Alton do a new Feasting on Asphalt?


read that as Fisting on Asphault

/So did alton
 
2012-11-14 11:18:24 AM  
Food Network hires the worst actors i have ever seen.

Watch the completely fake "Mystery Diners" sometime.

"right there, that guy is STEALING FROM YOU"
"Owner, I know, i know. I am mad."
(camera pans around the place as the manager "empties" the safe)
"He's stealing from you!"

lolz
 
2012-11-14 11:18:30 AM  

TheGreatGazoo


I always get a chuckle with Red Lobster commercials and their 'this pricing doesn't count in Times Square or Hawaii'. WTF would go to Times Square and eat at Red Lobster?


WTF would go to Hawaii and eat at Red Lobster?


a little off-topic but still a valid question
 
2012-11-14 11:18:39 AM  

tricycleracer: My girlfriend's mom lives on a houseboat in the Bronx (don't ask) and she will only dine at TGI Fridays.


City Island?

If nothing else at least TGI Friday's started in New York. It's not much, but it's something.

I take it back, got nuthin'
 
2012-11-14 11:19:13 AM  

busy chillin': skullkrusher:


I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?

I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.

I hate Olive Garden, but as I get older I get it. Sometimes you just want to eat...not be the lame kid sitting at the cool kid table sticking out like a soar thumb.


it's not like that at all. These aren't 4 star restaurants. They're largely casual little places with good, reasonably priced (for midtown manhattan) food
 
2012-11-14 11:19:25 AM  

Grither: HotWingConspiracy: Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.

Guess what the highest grossing restaurant in Manhattan is!


Yeah, I contributed to it. Wife didn't want to walk any farther, we'd just spent about five hours walking around on the stone floors of the Cloisters and I couldn't convince her to get any farther from Penn Station than TGIF's. Oh well.
 
2012-11-14 11:20:40 AM  

busy chillin':

I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.


I agree with this 100%. People just want sustenance at a decent price, which is cool.

It's only lame when someone gets pissy about people being cooler than them. If you're cool with eating at Olive Garden then you should be cool with not being cool.
 
2012-11-14 11:20:41 AM  

fireclown: While we have our dander up about how lousy chain resturaunts are, is there a GOOD droid app for finding good non chain resturaunts? Apart from YELP, WHERE, and the other big 'uns. It seems like there should be one, but I haven't found a good one yet.

It would do a lot toward my eating better when I travel.


Opentable is a useful starting place.
 
2012-11-14 11:20:49 AM  
I love cooking shows, and love cooking. I have no problem experimenting with things like sous-vide.

Guy Fieri is a blight on the landscape. His hyper-caffeinated, pseudo-regular-guy schtick is so blatantly "commercial" that I would never, ever trust his restaurant or his recommendations without some other proof.

He's the cooking equivalent of Jersey Shore. I'm surprised that anyone takes him seriously in any way - including giving him seed money for a restaurant.

/Alton Brown disciple
//Really, Graham Kerr disciple. Genius.
 
2012-11-14 11:21:56 AM  

CheekyMonkey: TheGreatGazoo: I always get a chuckle with Red Lobster commercials and their 'this pricing doesn't count in Times Square or Hawaii'. WTF would go to Times Square and eat at Red Lobster?

Who would go to Times Square to begin with? Why, the people who eat at Red Lobster, of course!


See, you don't want those people to come to the cool trendy food eateries anyways...so why are all hating on them? Let them eat the Corporate chain food.

/has eaten McDonald's in Manhattan. F*ck it.
//also eaten at Grey's Papaya.
///been to Time's Square. Ate at Planet Hollywood...ahahahahaha
 
2012-11-14 11:22:26 AM  

busy chillin': I have felt dumb in restaurants... all of a sudden you realize you don't belong here.


I go the other way. I purposely go to these places. My money is farking green, I belong anywhere I can spend it. And I like trying new foods, for better or worse.
 
2012-11-14 11:24:24 AM  
Do not eat in or near Times Square (mostly). That's a rule NY'ers follow, but I can't speak for the tourists...
 
2012-11-14 11:24:39 AM  

busy chillin': Grey's Papaya


Grey's Papaya is a New York institution, as long as you get a papaya drink with your hotdog to do it right.
 
2012-11-14 11:26:16 AM  

skullkrusher:
it's not like that at all. These aren't 4 star restaurants. They're largely casual little places with good, reasonably priced (for midtown manhattan) food


I hear ya...but again it comes down to a comfort zone. Olive Garden is comfortable to them. They see no need to break free from that.

Rapmaster2000: busy chillin':

I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.

I agree with this 100%. People just want sustenance at a decent price, which is cool.

It's only lame when someone gets pissy about people being cooler than them. If you're cool with eating at Olive Garden then you should be cool with not being cool.


I imagine they are cool with being not cool. Or they don't even know they aren't cool because being cool isn't even on their radar....they just want to eat some Italian food with their friends.


/can't believe I am defending this
//I'm going to Applebee's tonight in honor of this thread
 
2012-11-14 11:27:49 AM  

orclover: [thechive.files.wordpress.com image 500x208]
I tried watching his show, it gave me a seizure. Now I black out whenever I see blinking lights.

fark you Guy Fieri.


That farking faker is a farking pig.
When I was a chef, no one ate in the kitchen.
Farking pig.

Also, he's and ass.
 
2012-11-14 11:28:03 AM  

Prevailing Wind: /So did alton


LOL
 
2012-11-14 11:28:17 AM  

skullkrusher: HotWingConspiracy: skullkrusher: am I the only one who thinks antifreeze looks tasty? Could be due to my childhood love of EctoCooler

/never tried antifreeze

It tastes sweet, which is why it's used to poison people so often. True story.

And he put it in Times Square to collect rube tourist money, in case that was lost on anyone. Of course it's terrible, he only has to compete with the TGI Fridays.

Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.

I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?


This is why i do not travel with my wife.
 
2012-11-14 11:29:07 AM  

dopekitty74: Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: topcon: Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.

Wait... those are two different people?

Or are you thinking of paula dean?


Oh no... being from Savannah, I am well aware of the tragedy that is Paula Deen. I just think Guy looks like Nancy Grace in drag.
 
2012-11-14 11:29:18 AM  
blogs.houstonpress.com

Review author?
 
2012-11-14 11:29:25 AM  

skullkrusher:

it's not like that at all. These aren't 4 star restaurants. They're largely casual little places with good, reasonably priced (for midtown manhattan) food


You live in NYC, so you're generally cool with being adventurous. You don't know a lot of people that aren't. I work with engineers in a suburban office park. There will be a new place and I'll say "let's eat there for lunch today" and someone will say "but we don't know if its good" to which I say "well, let's eat there and find out."

Once another guy (who is really a nice guy and I like) was amazed that I would just order something I'd never eaten off of a menu. He only eats chicken burritos at a Cuban place we sometimes go to.

Another guy thinks I'm a snob because I won't go to Applebee's. I say it's because they microwave their burgers. His wife gives him Applebee's gift cards as a Christmas gift.

So now I mostly eat lunch with the Chinese guys.
 
2012-11-14 11:30:01 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: WTF would go to Hawaii and eat at Red Lobster?


a little off-topic but still a valid question


My mother. When surrounded with new, different, and sometimes confusing environment - people just want something safe and predictable.

/growing up - Red Lobster was the restaurant we would go to for a "nice night out"
 
2012-11-14 11:31:10 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: busy chillin': I have felt dumb in restaurants... all of a sudden you realize you don't belong here.

I go the other way. I purposely go to these places. My money is farking green, I belong anywhere I can spend it. And I like trying new foods, for better or worse.


In my experience, you go into a mom n pop place, and theyre much more welcoming than the big chains with bored waitstaff.

It's not that folks feel out of place, they just want to be anonymous.

/there used to be (10 years ago) a surprisingly good sushi place within a douchey bar on TS.
 
2012-11-14 11:31:14 AM  
My wife and I ate at the Tex Wasabi's in Sacramento several years ago, mostly because it was a Guy Fieri restaurant, and we wanted to see whether . The food wasn't bad, but wasn't great, but the service was enough to never want to set foot into any of his restaurants ever again.

/Putting it in Times Square is a double no for me
 
2012-11-14 11:32:00 AM  

skullkrusher: busy chillin': skullkrusher:


I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?

I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.

I hate Olive Garden, but as I get older I get it. Sometimes you just want to eat...not be the lame kid sitting at the cool kid table sticking out like a soar thumb.

it's not like that at all. These aren't 4 star restaurants. They're largely casual little places with good, reasonably priced (for midtown manhattan) food


I definitely see where you're coming from, busy, but skullkrusher is right. There are places within just a block or two of the Times Square Olive Garden which serve essentially the same menu but fresher, better, in a more friendly environment and even cheaper, if you can believe it. (those $12 specials or whatever that chains advertise are rarely applicable to their NYC restaurants.)
 
2012-11-14 11:32:01 AM  

busy chillin': I hear ya...but again it comes down to a comfort zone. Olive Garden is comfortable to them. They see no need to break free from that.


I have family like that - petrified of trying something new. I just don't get it. It's not scary and as HWC, no one gives a shiat what you do unless you go to a really nice place (or a crappy one run by dicks)

It's Restaurant Row. Pretty much everyone working there in the front of the house is struggling to make it on Broadway. They have a lot more to worry about than you do :)
 
2012-11-14 11:32:21 AM  
SERVICE The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.

This was my favorite part?
 
2012-11-14 11:32:32 AM  
Now, I would never go to a ridiculous place like this, but I would not be above going to the Costco food court if by some misfortune I found myself in New York City.

Only been to a Buffalo Wild Wings in Corpus Christi, and that was pretty ghetto. Might be the Corpus Christi, though.
 
2012-11-14 11:33:09 AM  
I found stopping into a McDonalds and a Burger King in Germany to be fascinating.

1. Really popular (the free wi-fi helped)
2. It's educational to observe the differences


I didn't make it a point to go to a McDonald's when I was in Germany. It just kind of happened. I was in Stuttgart at the Porsche Museum (terrible by the way, the Mercedes Museum is awesome, though) and it was late and the only place open. I agree and I'm glad I went just to see the differences.
 
2012-11-14 11:33:19 AM  

busy chillin':

I imagine they are cool with being not cool. Or they don't even know they aren't cool because being cool isn't even on their radar....they just want to eat some Italian food with their friends.


That's not entirely what I mean. I was getting at the X amount of people who say "I don't care what food hipsters think" because they care what food hipsters think.
 
2012-11-14 11:34:51 AM  

kombat_unit: So let me get this straight, tourists don't know where the best local restaurants are?


Even tourists can fire up Yelp.

/Used it when we were waaaaay downtown last summer.
//Wound up eating some reasonably priced, absolutely delicious Indian food.
 
2012-11-14 11:34:55 AM  

gingerjet: Englebert Slaptyback: WTF would go to Hawaii and eat at Red Lobster?


a little off-topic but still a valid question

My mother. When surrounded with new, different, and sometimes confusing environment - people just want something safe and predictable.

/growing up - Red Lobster was the restaurant we would go to for a "nice night out"


We always took Grandma there, until she loudly announced at the table "I just don't see why we can't call them coloreds anymore."
 
2012-11-14 11:35:02 AM  
For those that didn't make it to the end, here's the portion of the review that did not include question marks. $17 minimum for a friggin sandwich. Oh my.

Guy's American Kitchen & Bar

POOR

220 West 44th Street (Seventh Avenue), (646) 532-4897, guysamerican.com.

ATMOSPHERE 500 seats, three levels, three bars, one chaotic mess.

SERVICE The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.

SOUND LEVEL Rawk and roll, but at moderate volumes.

RECOMMENDED Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, General Tso's Crispy Pork Shank, Cedar Plank Salmon with Jalapeño Apricot Jam.

DRINKS AND WINE Margaritas, while too sweet and strong, are the best cocktails. Draft beers are better than the largely dull wines.

PRICES Soups, salads and appetizers, $8.95 to $16.50; sandwiches, pastas and main courses, $16.95 to $31.50.

HOURS Sunday to Wednesday, 11:30 a.m. to midnight; Thursday to Saturday, 11:30 a.m. to 1 a.m.

RESERVATIONS Accepted.

WHEELCHAIR ACCESS The bar area and an accessible restroom are on street level.

WHAT THE STARS MEAN Ratings range from zero to four stars and reflect the reviewer's reaction primarily to food, with ambience, service and price taken into consideration.
 
2012-11-14 11:36:05 AM  
I don't know about the rest of you, but what I got from this review is that the service was terrible. Food can be mediocre, or even awful, in a tourist trap, but the service? You get better food and service at a hot dog cart.
 
2012-11-14 11:36:58 AM  

Rapmaster2000: You live in NYC, so you're generally cool with being adventurous. You don't know a lot of people that aren't. I work with engineers in a suburban office park. There will be a new place and I'll say "let's eat there for lunch today" and someone will say "but we don't know if its good" to which I say "well, let's eat there and find out."


We just moved to a new city and created a list of restaurants based on google maps. Over the two months we've been going through them one by one. For instance - last night we ate at a wine bar near our new apartment. It was awful. Checked off the list and won't be going back. I've also been to 10 different sushi places for lunch since I've been here and have found at least two favorites. People who only go to one or two restaurants or eat the same thing every day confuse the hell out of me.

/like my parents
 
2012-11-14 11:37:26 AM  
What's interesting is it looks like the NYT just pulled the review.

Pretty damn uncommon, so...Wonder what's going on behind the scenes.
 
2012-11-14 11:38:59 AM  

dmax:
He's the cooking equivalent of Jersey Shore. I'm surprised that anyone takes him seriously in any way - including giving him seed money for a restaurant.


It's simple supply and demand. The mouth-breathing masses are attracted to loud and flashy things. If you managed to attract dupes willing to plop down good money for microwaved food, sugary cocktails, and cheap fillers, you're making a good bet.

It's the niche restaurants that are risky because that market segment is fickle.

1. The cool place with great food opens up.
2. People swarm.
3. The lines and wait seem intriguing. More people come.
4. People get tired of having to plan a wait (reservation or not) and slowly stop going.
5. The fetish wears off and the place sees a slowdown in customers.
6. Soon they can't pay their high-cost kitchen staff. People are let go. The menu changes. Cheaper ingredients are used.
7. Place folds. Owner may or may not try to spin another fad restaurant.
8. It becomes a Subway or Starbucks.

When in NYC I have my favorite places to go which are off the beaten path and are usually owner/chef places with a small staff. Il Violino at W 68th and Columbus is a sure hit for a good Italian meal every time. Not expensive. Good wine list. Friendly staff.
 
2012-11-14 11:39:03 AM  
btw, here's the Yelp page for this place. Not much more accommodating that the NYT was.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/guys-american-kitchen-and-bar-new-york-2
 
2012-11-14 11:39:06 AM  
Never mind, it's back up.

Hiccup with the site, I guess.
 
2012-11-14 11:39:09 AM  

fireclown: LockeOak: At least Jimmy Buffet doesn't pretend to be a chef.

I'm not sure Fieri does either. I'm not an expert on his show, but I think he pretty much just goes around to other peoples restaurants, watches them cook, try some food and tell them how awesome it is.


Guys Big Bite, he cooks stuff on that show.

He's still a douchebag.
 
2012-11-14 11:39:46 AM  

busy chillin': CheekyMonkey: TheGreatGazoo: I always get a chuckle with Red Lobster commercials and their 'this pricing doesn't count in Times Square or Hawaii'. WTF would go to Times Square and eat at Red Lobster?

Who would go to Times Square to begin with? Why, the people who eat at Red Lobster, of course!

See, you don't want those people to come to the cool trendy food eateries anyways...so why are all hating on them? Let them eat the Corporate chain food.

/has eaten McDonald's in Manhattan. F*ck it.
//also eaten at Grey's Papaya.
///been to Time's Square. Ate at Planet Hollywood...ahahahahaha



I've walked through Times Square, on my way to somewhere else. Never eaten there, but I will admit to going into the the M&Ms store. 3 floors of M&Ms merchandise is ridiculous, but I'll admit, it is pretty neat that they have M&Ms in about a hundred different colors...
 
2012-11-14 11:39:57 AM  

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: dopekitty74: Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: topcon: Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.

Wait... those are two different people?

Or are you thinking of paula dean?

Oh no... being from Savannah, I am well aware of the tragedy that is Paula Deen. I just think Guy looks like Nancy Grace in drag.


To be fair, I don't have a clue what Nancy Grace looks like, but Guy Fieri and Paula Dean ARE both fat, blonde and annoying, so I'm sure you can understand my confusion?
 
2012-11-14 11:40:20 AM  
cdn2-b.examiner.com

..could have provided a better alternative..
 
2012-11-14 11:40:33 AM  

TheGreatGazoo: I always get a chuckle with Red Lobster commercials and their 'this pricing doesn't count in Times Square or Hawaii'. WTF would go to Times Square and eat at Red Lobster?


For that matter, who in hell would go to Hawaii and eat at Red Lobster? It's in the middle of the friggin' Pacific Ocean and full of decently priced hole in the wall restaurants that serve damned good food. See Helena's.
 
2012-11-14 11:40:57 AM  

Rapmaster2000: We always took Grandma there, until she loudly announced at the table "I just don't see why we can't call them coloreds anymore."


Had the same experience with my grandfather - but it was at the Old Country Buffett and he didn't use the word 'coloreds'.
 
2012-11-14 11:41:16 AM  

Rapmaster2000: skullkrusher:

it's not like that at all. These aren't 4 star restaurants. They're largely casual little places with good, reasonably priced (for midtown manhattan) food

You live in NYC, so you're generally cool with being adventurous. You don't know a lot of people that aren't. I work with engineers in a suburban office park. There will be a new place and I'll say "let's eat there for lunch today" and someone will say "but we don't know if its good" to which I say "well, let's eat there and find out."

Once another guy (who is really a nice guy and I like) was amazed that I would just order something I'd never eaten off of a menu. He only eats chicken burritos at a Cuban place we sometimes go to.

Another guy thinks I'm a snob because I won't go to Applebee's. I say it's because they microwave their burgers. His wife gives him Applebee's gift cards as a Christmas gift.

So now I mostly eat lunch with the Chinese guys.


yeah I know people like that. They're letting life pass them by though. I can see not going on safari or eating chocolate covered crickets but this is just trying Italian food in a place that isn't a chain. I guess I just figure that a big part of the reason people come to NY is to experience the food. Italian food is Italian food - it's not exotic. I just wish more people would make themselves a little more uncomfortable and give something a shot. If you don't like the experience then at least you know you don't like it. I didn't know that picklebacks were gonna be the most awesome thing ever til I tried them. They are. Dehydrate the fark outta you though
 
2012-11-14 11:42:07 AM  

This text is now purple: NashMcNash: On my first trip to New York (I was 12 or so), my family ate at a McDonald's. We're from West Virginia. Tourists don't know any better.

I found stopping into a McDonalds and a Burger King in Germany to be fascinating.

1. Really popular (the free wi-fi helped)
2. It's educational to observe the differences


Observing differences between different fast food places would be difficult for those of us who don't go into any in the first place.
 
2012-11-14 11:43:25 AM  

Rapmaster2000: You live in NYC, so you're generally cool with being adventurous. You don't know a lot of people that aren't. I work with engineers in a suburban office park. There will be a new place and I'll say "let's eat there for lunch today" and someone will say "but we don't know if its good" to which I say "well, let's eat there and find out."


I live and hate that reality, although since we're in a "food city" our regular rotation is pretty damn good and I've forced the group off of any chains. I had to work so hard to get a failing place off of the rotation; they'd been decent in the past but the place was just getting slower, dirtier, and more decrepit. The outdoor chairs would break constantly and dump people onto the oyster-shell-strewn deck, and still the lunch crew would want to go back ever few weeks or so.
 
2012-11-14 11:43:55 AM  

This text is now purple: I found stopping into a McDonalds and a Burger King in Germany to be fascinating.


The McDonalds in Mumbai is not to be missed.
 
2012-11-14 11:43:59 AM  

Broktun: skullkrusher: HotWingConspiracy: skullkrusher: am I the only one who thinks antifreeze looks tasty? Could be due to my childhood love of EctoCooler

/never tried antifreeze

It tastes sweet, which is why it's used to poison people so often. True story.

And he put it in Times Square to collect rube tourist money, in case that was lost on anyone. Of course it's terrible, he only has to compete with the TGI Fridays.

Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.

I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?

This is why i do not travel with my wife.


relatedly, I had a group of these cute little blue hairs come up to me one time. They were 5 little old ladies from Georgia, none under 75. One came up to me and shyly asked "Sir, can I ask you a question? Could you tell us where we might find the Naked Cowboy?"
Of course I laughed but I pointed them out to where he'd probably be. She smiled and thanked me and started to walk away. She then turned and whispered to me "One more thing? Is he white?"

*facepalm*

yeah, he's white lady. Have fun
 
2012-11-14 11:44:03 AM  

Karma313th: What's interesting is it looks like the NYT just pulled the review.


Nope ... still there ... I save a copy just in case tho.
 
2012-11-14 11:44:05 AM  

vudukungfu: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

You sound Irish?


How the hell did I sound Irish?
 
2012-11-14 11:44:56 AM  

skullkrusher: I didn't know that picklebacks were gonna be the most awesome thing ever til I tried them. They are. Dehydrate the fark outta you though


I've only done that with vodak. I have half a jar of Claussens brine in my fridge for that reason. I will try whiskey tonight.
 
2012-11-14 11:46:17 AM  

CheekyMonkey: busy chillin': CheekyMonkey: TheGreatGazoo: I always get a chuckle with Red Lobster commercials and their 'this pricing doesn't count in Times Square or Hawaii'. WTF would go to Times Square and eat at Red Lobster?

Who would go to Times Square to begin with? Why, the people who eat at Red Lobster, of course!

See, you don't want those people to come to the cool trendy food eateries anyways...so why are all hating on them? Let them eat the Corporate chain food.

/has eaten McDonald's in Manhattan. F*ck it.
//also eaten at Grey's Papaya.
///been to Time's Square. Ate at Planet Hollywood...ahahahahaha


I've walked through Times Square, on my way to somewhere else. Never eaten there, but I will admit to going into the the M&Ms store. 3 floors of M&Ms merchandise is ridiculous, but I'll admit, it is pretty neat that they have M&Ms in about a hundred different colors...


We did the whole tourist trap thing. Went through the M&Ms store and Toys 'R Us...then ate at Planet Hollywood. There was some Cowboy themed joint that just reeked of bullsh*t marketing so skipped it. Just soaked up the madness of all the people and lights. Won't go back but it was cool to see.

But on another trip we went further downtown and ended up eating at some mexican place around 1st Street and 1st avenue. It was pretty good.
 
2012-11-14 11:48:20 AM  
Is this thread retarded?
 
2012-11-14 11:48:38 AM  

Rapmaster2000: skullkrusher: I didn't know that picklebacks were gonna be the most awesome thing ever til I tried them. They are. Dehydrate the fark outta you though

I've only done that with vodak. I have half a jar of Claussens brine in my fridge for that reason. I will try whiskey tonight.


never tried with vodak but it is amazeballs with whiskey.

/yes, I said 'amazeballs'
//15 year old girl
 
2012-11-14 11:50:10 AM  

Paris1127: vudukungfu: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

You sound Irish?

How the hell did I sound Irish?


hehe, I got what he meant. That's how them micks talk
 
2012-11-14 11:51:12 AM  

busy chillin': CheekyMonkey: busy chillin': CheekyMonkey: TheGreatGazoo: I always get a chuckle with Red Lobster commercials and their 'this pricing doesn't count in Times Square or Hawaii'. WTF would go to Times Square and eat at Red Lobster?

Who would go to Times Square to begin with? Why, the people who eat at Red Lobster, of course!

See, you don't want those people to come to the cool trendy food eateries anyways...so why are all hating on them? Let them eat the Corporate chain food.

/has eaten McDonald's in Manhattan. F*ck it.
//also eaten at Grey's Papaya.
///been to Time's Square. Ate at Planet Hollywood...ahahahahaha


I've walked through Times Square, on my way to somewhere else. Never eaten there, but I will admit to going into the the M&Ms store. 3 floors of M&Ms merchandise is ridiculous, but I'll admit, it is pretty neat that they have M&Ms in about a hundred different colors...

We did the whole tourist trap thing. Went through the M&Ms store and Toys 'R Us...then ate at Planet Hollywood. There was some Cowboy themed joint that just reeked of bullsh*t marketing so skipped it. Just soaked up the madness of all the people and lights. Won't go back but it was cool to see.

But on another trip we went further downtown and ended up eating at some mexican place around 1st Street and 1st avenue. It was pretty good.


At Christmastime I actually go down to TS to go to Toys R Us and Nintendo World. You may ask why I would subject myself to the hordes of tourists. I guess it makes me feel like a kid with the huge ass displays and people everywhere leading up to Christmas.
 
2012-11-14 11:51:27 AM  

fireclown: This text is now purple: I found stopping into a McDonalds and a Burger King in Germany to be fascinating.

The McDonalds in Mumbai is not to be missed.


I went to McDonalds in Tokyo for a Teriyaki McBurger. I don't really eat at McD's in the US but I'm glad I went.

skullkrusher: yeah, he's white lady. Have fun


Am I bad to think that she might have been wondering just for reference purposes? That she didn't want to get pictures with the fake "Naked Cowboy?"
 
2012-11-14 11:52:24 AM  

hulk hogan meat shoes: Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?

Sour mix and blue curacao go a long way.


Or Midori and pineapple.
 
2012-11-14 11:52:43 AM  

factoryconnection: Am I bad to think that she might have been wondering just for reference purposes? That she didn't want to get pictures with the fake "Naked Cowboy?"


hehe, there's only one dumbass standing in the middle of TS with a hat, boots, guitar and tightie whities and he's a cracker ass cracker. I think she was just an old racist
 
2012-11-14 11:53:48 AM  

factoryconnection: Am I bad to think that she might have been wondering just for reference purposes? That she didn't want to get pictures with the fake "Naked Cowboy?"


The idea of counterfeit, race inappropriate naked cowboys is amazing.
 
2012-11-14 11:55:33 AM  
So, the only time I've gotten to go to NYC was with my ex. Due to budgetary constraints, we only had about a day there or so. I knew i wouldn't see much, but I thought I'd see something.

No. I didn't realize what a freaking pussycat I was dating at the time. He refused to get on a subway. DIdn't want to pay for a cab. Was afraid to walk anywhere that wasn't flocked with tourists. Everything was too dangerous or too expensive for him. So what did I get to see? Times Square. That was it. No Central Park. No great museums. No landmarks. Nothing. Times Freaking Square.

/the relationship didn't last long after that.
//not a cool story, sis, I know. But I am still very pissed.
 
2012-11-14 11:57:32 AM  

This text is now purple


Partly that's because in New Orleans, about 12 square blocks of the city are safe, and the better restaurants are typically wedged between two strip clubs.

\what a festering shiathole of a city. I don't understand what the nutria see in the place


Agree, one big toilet and scam central. I think its in their DNA, scam any tourist you can.
 
2012-11-14 11:58:25 AM  

lohphat: dmax:
He's the cooking equivalent of Jersey Shore. I'm surprised that anyone takes him seriously in any way - including giving him seed money for a restaurant.

It's simple supply and demand. The mouth-breathing masses are attracted to loud and flashy things. If you managed to attract dupes willing to plop down good money for microwaved food, sugary cocktails, and cheap fillers, you're making a good bet.

It's the niche restaurants that are risky because that market segment is fickle.

1. The cool place with great food opens up.
2. People swarm.
3. The lines and wait seem intriguing. More people come.
4. People get tired of having to plan a wait (reservation or not) and slowly stop going.
5. The fetish wears off and the place sees a slowdown in customers.
6. Soon they can't pay their high-cost kitchen staff. People are let go. The menu changes. Cheaper ingredients are used.
7. Place folds. Owner may or may not try to spin another fad restaurant.
8. It becomes a Subway or Starbucks.

When in NYC I have my favorite places to go which are off the beaten path and are usually owner/chef places with a small staff. Il Violino at W 68th and Columbus is a sure hit for a good Italian meal every time. Not expensive. Good wine list. Friendly staff.


content6.flixster.com

/agrees
 
2012-11-14 12:00:20 PM  

Mad Scientist: You want character and good food?

The Meatball Shop


Where are my Buffalo Chicken meatballs?!?!?! It has been at least 8 months since they've had them.
 
2012-11-14 12:00:27 PM  

Paris1127: Cythraul: Paris1127: Cythraul: xanadian: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?

Is this a difficult game?

Do you have a basic idea of the rules based solely off the title?

/of course, perhaps "Questionable Impressions" on Whose Line? is harder?

Wouldn't the nature of playing this game through the internet make the game less challenging? Wouldn't having ample time to think of a response in the form of question, removed from the spontaneity of in-person participation reduce the skill required?

But in this case isn't it necessary to make do with what we have? Shouldn't the purpose of this game be just to have fun? Weren't the points on [the American version of] Whose Line? worthless?


WTF?

/For the win?
 
2012-11-14 12:02:18 PM  

Allornone:
//not a cool story, sis, I know. But I am still very pissed.


That sucks. You have to go back. Central Park is one of my favorite places.

Thankfully my wife is adventurous...we rode the subway all over. We got in one car and were immediately smacked in the face with that putrid urine smell. We get in further and everyone is at the back of the car and this homeless looking stinky dude is riding at the front...but nobody really flinched...just sitting there reading their papers or what not. It was fantastic.
 
2012-11-14 12:05:34 PM  

Allornone: So, the only time I've gotten to go to NYC was with my ex. Due to budgetary constraints, we only had about a day there or so. I knew i wouldn't see much, but I thought I'd see something.

No. I didn't realize what a freaking pussycat I was dating at the time. He refused to get on a subway. DIdn't want to pay for a cab. Was afraid to walk anywhere that wasn't flocked with tourists. Everything was too dangerous or too expensive for him. So what did I get to see? Times Square. That was it. No Central Park. No great museums. No landmarks. Nothing. Times Freaking Square.

/the relationship didn't last long after that.
//not a cool story, sis, I know. But I am still very pissed.


that sucks. TS is obviously a must see for a first timer but there's more to it than that. I encourage everyone to move to New York. Don't visit. Come here forever. You like super busy, active places? Check. You like quiet, tree lined streets? That too. Want to have a quiet drink at a local hole and then be able to be on line outside an absurdly packed club in 15 minutes? Yep. Food, museums, sports, music. Just no Big Gulps or transfats.

/Bloomie should hire me
 
2012-11-14 12:06:34 PM  

Allornone: So, the only time I've gotten to go to NYC was with my ex. Due to budgetary constraints, we only had about a day there or so. I knew i wouldn't see much, but I thought I'd see something.

No. I didn't realize what a freaking pussycat I was dating at the time. He refused to get on a subway. DIdn't want to pay for a cab. Was afraid to walk anywhere that wasn't flocked with tourists. Everything was too dangerous or too expensive for him. So what did I get to see? Times Square. That was it. No Central Park. No great museums. No landmarks. Nothing. Times Freaking Square.

/the relationship didn't last long after that.
//not a cool story, sis, I know. But I am still very pissed.


It's amazing, that in much of the USA (and the world), NYC still has a reputation for being dangerous. Friends from freaking Cincinnati have asked me about NYC being dangerous.

I blame Death Wish 3.
 
2012-11-14 12:07:23 PM  

Moopy Mac: Where are my Buffalo Chicken meatballs?!?!?! It has been at least 8 months since they've had them.


That appears to be today's special at the 64 Greenwich location.
 
2012-11-14 12:08:47 PM  

Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?


I don't know, maybe you can try a period? Do you think this may be contagious? Oh my dear Lord, am I doing it too now? How can we make it stop? Will you help me please?
 
2012-11-14 12:13:16 PM  

damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.


If you are going to NYC and eating at ANY theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all you are doing it wrong.

Here's what you need to know about Guy Fieri...

1. His TV shows (at least the ones I've seen) consist of him fawning over other people's food in a way that tells you almost nothing about how to prepare it properly, but instead acts more as an advertisement for you to visit the restaurant.

2. You're much better off going online, looking up the recipes he posts on the Food Network site and preparing them yourself. You can do it cheaper and it'll probably taste better than anything you order at a casual dining establishment. Plus, you won't have someone getting butthurt for not leaving a 20% gratuity (even though the custom was always 15% back in the day, 20% for exception service...I guess all service is now considered 'exceptional') on your table.

3. If you think that Guy Fieri has anything to do with anything you eat at any of his restaurants or restaurants he endorses, I have some beach front property I'd like to sell you New Jersey. Don't mind the wrecked ferris wheel.
 
2012-11-14 12:13:55 PM  

skullkrusher: I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden.


I have this experience with my family when we travel. They are oddly petrified of having a bad meal. If I suggest going somewhere local and unknown, they say "well what if it's bad?" Then it's bad and we don't go there again. They would rather go for guaranteed mediocrity than risk something they don't know.
 
2012-11-14 12:17:35 PM  

Karma313th: What's interesting is it looks like the NYT just pulled the review.

Pretty damn uncommon, so...Wonder what's going on behind the scenes.


Pay to play.

You can't pay the NYT staff if you piss off a restaurant owner who's apart of a large media company who may (or may not) have a stake in the NYT.

There's no such thing as independent journalism.

/this place is not a restaurant, it's an eatery.
 
2012-11-14 12:17:49 PM  

braedan: WHO WANTS DONKEY SAUCE?


ny.eater.com

This guy chugs donkey sauce.
 
2012-11-14 12:18:34 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: Moopy Mac: Where are my Buffalo Chicken meatballs?!?!?! It has been at least 8 months since they've had them.

That appears to be today's special at the 64 Greenwich location.


I am extremely loyal to my LES location.
 
2012-11-14 12:26:18 PM  

cookiefleck: Is this thread retarded?


No, but you must be. Didn't you learn anything from Ann Coulter?
 
2012-11-14 12:28:59 PM  
As somebody who is on the road fairly freqently, I need to share some information that big-city foodies seem to be unaware of.

Whenever you outside of an urban area or the directly surrounding suburbs of an urban area, all of the local restaurants suck baboons ass. If you are in Bumfark, ND and your choice is Olive Garden or any local establishment, trust me - THE OLIVE GARDEN WILL BE BETTER. Or Applebees. Or Chilis, etc. I have never had anything I truly enjoyed at Applebees, but for some reason, local restaurants in rural outposts are EVEN WORSE. ALWAYS. (Sorry for the shouting.)

However, when you are in any fairly sizable city, the local places are far, far better than any of the chains. Eating at a chain restaurant in NYC is kind of defeating one of the reasons to go there.
 
2012-11-14 12:37:45 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.

Guy Fieri may be an enormous douche, but he's not an idiot. Open a restaurant in Times Square and wait for all the fat flyover tourist humps to flock through the doors and pile generic food into their mouths. The fact that people travel to this city and willingly restrict themselves to Times Square's overpriced garbage is amazing.

Christ, walk out past 8th avenue and even Restaurant Row has better options. It's only two blocks, it won't kill ya.


Yeah, but those cross-town blocks are long blocks.
 
2012-11-14 12:44:13 PM  
/i submitted this with a better headline
//bitter
 
2012-11-14 12:51:40 PM  
There's a greasy place across the street from me that uses the fryer for just about everything on the menu, so of course it was on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. They put up a giant poster with Guy Fieri's face in the window saying he'd eaten there. A week later it was gone. I wonder if it was hurting business.

Spaghettiows: As somebody who is on the road fairly freqently, I need to share some information that big-city foodies seem to be unaware of.

Whenever you outside of an urban area or the directly surrounding suburbs of an urban area, all of the local restaurants suck baboons ass. If you are in Bumfark, ND and your choice is Olive Garden or any local establishment, trust me - THE OLIVE GARDEN WILL BE BETTER. Or Applebees. Or Chilis, etc. I have never had anything I truly enjoyed at Applebees, but for some reason, local restaurants in rural outposts are EVEN WORSE. ALWAYS. (Sorry for the shouting.)

However, when you are in any fairly sizable city, the local places are far, far better than any of the chains. Eating at a chain restaurant in NYC is kind of defeating one of the reasons to go there.


I grew up in the middle of nowhere. The local restaurants were not very good. However, there aren't any chains either. Anywhere that is big enough for an Olive Garden or Applebees has good restaurants. I do concede that they're difficult to find. Even now in 2012 with tools like Yelp it can be hard to find listings and reviews for the places worth going in those areas and stumbling into a random local establishment may get you something better or far worse. Even asking a local will get you to the chains 9/10 times.
 
2012-11-14 12:52:10 PM  
I only like his show when they show the chefs making the food otherwise it's not very entertaining.
 
2012-11-14 12:54:36 PM  
If you are dining at a Guy Fieri's restaurant, you should already know what to expect. Having said that, I did dine at Emeril's in Orlando at Universal Studio and was pleasantly surprised. Both the food and service were good.
 
2012-11-14 01:06:23 PM  

Spaghettiows: I have never had anything I truly enjoyed at Applebees


Apple Chimicheesecake.
 
2012-11-14 01:15:49 PM  

fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.


If you live in the city, you can't help but see it. But you should still avoid it as much as possible.
 
2012-11-14 01:16:46 PM  

lohphat:
1. The cool place with great food opens up.
2. People swarm.
3. The lines and wait seem intriguing. More people come.
4. People get tired of having to plan a wait (reservation or not) and slowly stop going.
5. The fetish wears off and the place sees a slowdown in customers.
6. Soon they can't pay their high-cost kitchen staff. People are let go. The menu changes. Cheaper ingredients are used.
7. Place folds. Owner may or may not try to spin another fad restaurant.
8. It becomes a Subway or Starbucks.


9. We all die anyway, and each moment is important, so why waste time with things and places and people that aren't ultimately valuable.
 
2012-11-14 01:22:56 PM  

dmax: lohphat:
1. The cool place with great food opens up.
2. People swarm.
3. The lines and wait seem intriguing. More people come.
4. People get tired of having to plan a wait (reservation or not) and slowly stop going.
5. The fetish wears off and the place sees a slowdown in customers.
6. Soon they can't pay their high-cost kitchen staff. People are let go. The menu changes. Cheaper ingredients are used.
7. Place folds. Owner may or may not try to spin another fad restaurant.
8. It becomes a Subway or Starbucks.


9. We all die anyway, and each moment is important, so why waste time with things and places and people that aren't ultimately valuable.


It's is why god created fly-over states, to house people who can't or won't enjoy quality experiences during their precious brief existence.
 
2012-11-14 01:24:12 PM  

PsyLord: If you are dining at a Guy Fieri's restaurant, you should already know what to expect. Having said that, I did dine at Emeril's in Orlando at Universal Studio and was pleasantly surprised. Both the food and service were good.


My BIL, a chef, said the same thing about Emeril's
 
2012-11-14 01:26:32 PM  

thomps: Staffist: What the fark is going on here?

i'm sorry, did you come in here expecting engaging conversation? is that more or less dumb than going to time square and expecting a quality dining experience?


Wouldn't you generally think that if you went to someplace that expensive you'd get a damn fine meal? And isn't the entire point of reviews to be able to do things like rip an idiot who tries to rip people off a new one, thus making TFA an unusually good review?

/Would you believe I always sucked at the Question Game?
 
2012-11-14 01:26:53 PM  

Ivandrago: I found stopping into a McDonalds and a Burger King in Germany to be fascinating.

1. Really popular (the free wi-fi helped)
2. It's educational to observe the differences

I didn't make it a point to go to a McDonald's when I was in Germany. It just kind of happened. I was in Stuttgart at the Porsche Museum (terrible by the way, the Mercedes Museum is awesome, though) and it was late and the only place open. I agree and I'm glad I went just to see the differences.


I got a vanilla cone at the McDonalds in Dachau.

That was odd.
 
2012-11-14 01:28:01 PM  

Joe Peanut: fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.

If you live in the city, you can't help but see it. But you should still avoid it as much as possible.


I go months without seeing TS
 
2012-11-14 01:41:36 PM  

skullkrusher: Joe Peanut: fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.

If you live in the city, you can't help but see it. But you should still avoid it as much as possible.

I go months without seeing TS


Remind me to hit you up for NYC eatery recommendations sometime... granted I'm usually out there for late-night shows or parties but if the food's good enough, I'll venture out early to grab food.
 
2012-11-14 01:47:51 PM  
the only thing worse than bleached-out brodudes hamming off on food shows that have drifted way of script are ostentatious food critics who write restaurant reviews demonstrating an affected snarkiness cultivated through four years of trust-fund soaked matriculation through coursework on derridean post-modernism, which is even worse than the pseudo-intellectual uber-fanatical pretentiousness of the gastronauts of food tourism.
 
2012-11-14 01:48:23 PM  

Lost Thought 00: Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?

Uranium.

Barring that, a mixture of iodine and vinegar


Actually....tonic water (the quinine) fill fluoresce under UV light (or direct sunlight).

The more you know....

upload.wikimedia.org 
/hot
 
2012-11-14 01:49:34 PM  

kombat_unit: So let me get this straight, tourists don't know where the best local restaurants are?


Seriously are you guys surprised by this? I know people who refuse to eat anywhere but Applebees when they travel. Because if he tried something new it might surprise him.

My thought is- yea but Applebees is going to be awful, at least if you try something new it might be good. Plus, if you can spend 2 minutes on Yelp you can get an idea of some good places.

I know some other guys who travel for work and their first stop in a new city is always the grocery store because bread and cheese or salad is better than the nastly little restaurants in small towns.
 
2012-11-14 01:50:58 PM  

Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?


Eeyup. We had a thread about glowing drinks last month. Use quinine for blue, riboflavin for yellow, chlorophyll for red, and a ultraviolet LED throwie embedded in or beneath the coaster or serving container. So start thinking of things to do with gin and tonic...

AntonChigger:
[www.fallout3.net image 800x600]

Nuka-Cola Quantum?


i.imgur.com

Featuring twice the calories, twice the carbohydrates, twice the caffeine and twice the taste, we've got that too!
 
2012-11-14 01:57:30 PM  

Spaghettiows: As somebody who is on the road fairly freqently, I need to share some information that big-city foodies seem to be unaware of.

Whenever you outside of an urban area or the directly surrounding suburbs of an urban area, all of the local restaurants suck baboons ass. If you are in Bumfark, ND and your choice is Olive Garden or any local establishment, trust me - THE OLIVE GARDEN WILL BE BETTER. Or Applebees. Or Chilis, etc. I have never had anything I truly enjoyed at Applebees, but for some reason, local restaurants in rural outposts are EVEN WORSE. ALWAYS. (Sorry for the shouting.)


Really? If you're in a cattle growin' state (e.g. Nebraska), you can find well prepared beef in almost any podunk town.

Let's not even mention small town BBQ places.

/Had an eye-crossingly good prime rib in Hastings
 
2012-11-14 01:57:47 PM  

skullkrusher: Joe Peanut: fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.

If you live in the city, you can't help but see it. But you should still avoid it as much as possible.

I go months without seeing TS


Same here. But every once in a while you have to cross it on the way to somewhere else. Or you have friends from out of town who want to see it, and others who even stay in hotels there despite your insistence otherwise.
 
2012-11-14 02:02:12 PM  
dunno about the food or the restaurant, but that article is a cluster.
 
2012-11-14 02:04:44 PM  

BalugaJoe: Why is the watermelon blue?


Watermelon flesh is red, and watermelon skin is green. If you mix them together in a cocktail glass...

Just kidding, I'm sure DeKuyper's Schnapps-Style Corn Syrups figure heavily in the recipe.
 
2012-11-14 02:05:25 PM  

skullkrusher: Allornone: So, the only time I've gotten to go to NYC was with my ex. Due to budgetary constraints, we only had about a day there or so. I knew i wouldn't see much, but I thought I'd see something.

No. I didn't realize what a freaking pussycat I was dating at the time. He refused to get on a subway. DIdn't want to pay for a cab. Was afraid to walk anywhere that wasn't flocked with tourists. Everything was too dangerous or too expensive for him. So what did I get to see? Times Square. That was it. No Central Park. No great museums. No landmarks. Nothing. Times Freaking Square.

/the relationship didn't last long after that.
//not a cool story, sis, I know. But I am still very pissed.

that sucks. TS is obviously a must see for a first timer but there's more to it than that. I encourage everyone to move to New York. Don't visit. Come here forever. You like super busy, active places? Check. You like quiet, tree lined streets? That too. Want to have a quiet drink at a local hole and then be able to be on line outside an absurdly packed club in 15 minutes? Yep. Food, museums, sports, music. Just no Big Gulps or transfats.

/Bloomie should hire me


I like living in the middle of the woods, within driving/train ride distance of NYC. Can't I just stay in NJ?

NYC is a great place to live NEAR, but I could never live there. Too many humans.
 
2012-11-14 02:15:45 PM  

WarszawaScream: skullkrusher: Joe Peanut: fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.

If you live in the city, you can't help but see it. But you should still avoid it as much as possible.

I go months without seeing TS

Remind me to hit you up for NYC eatery recommendations sometime... granted I'm usually out there for late-night shows or parties but if the food's good enough, I'll venture out early to grab food.


If you're looking for a place near Time's Square, I would suggest BXL cafe at 125 West 43rd Street. Great selection of Belgium beers, and great steak & fries.
 
2012-11-14 02:16:28 PM  

topcon: Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.


Not really. Nancy Grace is a wretched slug of a human being with zero redeeming value. Guy Fieri at least knows how to cook and has a cool car.
 
2012-11-14 02:29:05 PM  

Joe Peanut: WarszawaScream: skullkrusher: Joe Peanut: fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.

If you live in the city, you can't help but see it. But you should still avoid it as much as possible.

I go months without seeing TS

Remind me to hit you up for NYC eatery recommendations sometime... granted I'm usually out there for late-night shows or parties but if the food's good enough, I'll venture out early to grab food.

If you're looking for a place near Time's Square, I would suggest BXL cafe at 125 West 43rd Street. Great selection of Belgium beers, and great steak & fries.


More often than not I'm either on the lower west side or the east village, know anything good nearby?
 
2012-11-14 02:32:37 PM  

WarszawaScream: skullkrusher: Joe Peanut: fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.

If you live in the city, you can't help but see it. But you should still avoid it as much as possible.

I go months without seeing TS

Remind me to hit you up for NYC eatery recommendations sometime... granted I'm usually out there for late-night shows or parties but if the food's good enough, I'll venture out early to grab food.


sure thing. Being a bit older than I used to be and with child I can't help so much with the cool late night spots as well as I could before but I still like food
 
2012-11-14 02:44:35 PM  

pute kisses like a man: Yanks_RSJ: damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.

Guy Fieri may be an enormous douche, but he's not an idiot. Open a restaurant in Times Square and wait for all the fat flyover tourist humps to flock through the doors and pile generic food into their mouths. The fact that people travel to this city and willingly restrict themselves to Times Square's overpriced garbage is amazing.

Christ, walk out past 8th avenue and even Restaurant Row has better options. It's only two blocks, it won't kill ya.

that's how toursits are. come to new orleans, a place visited for its food, and you see the tourist traps brimming over the top with out-of-towners savoring the worst food the city has to offer. and getting charged for it. and there are good restaurants within walking distance. sometimes, just next door. but they don't have "Best gumbo in new orleans" on a poster and picture of really big drink specials

/ as a general rule, if the place says home of the best _____, it is not the home of the best _____.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-14 02:45:06 PM  

Bartleby the Scrivener: the only thing worse than bleached-out brodudes hamming off on food shows that have drifted way of script are ostentatious food critics who write restaurant reviews demonstrating an affected snarkiness cultivated through four years of trust-fund soaked matriculation through coursework on derridean post-modernism, which is even worse than the pseudo-intellectual uber-fanatical pretentiousness of the gastronauts of food tourism.


None of which is as bad as a run-on sentence.
 
2012-11-14 02:45:56 PM  
Shorter version of article:

"Would the owner sue me if I described in detail how atrocious an experience I had?
Would he?
Would people believe my column/review if I merely gave it one star with three words: DON'T EAT HERE ?
Am I just wasting everyone's time by trying to appear clever, when really, this article is a pretty practical source of information for the curious?
Does my life have meaning?
Why am I still alone?
God? Are you there?"
 
2012-11-14 02:54:19 PM  
Donkey Sauce? Is it fresh? Do they real donkeys in the back that some jerks off? Sounds like the Times Square of 30 years ago..

/Good times
 
2012-11-14 02:54:49 PM  

Sasquach: Lost Thought 00: Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?

Uranium.

Barring that, a mixture of iodine and vinegar

Actually....tonic water (the quinine) fill fluoresce under UV light (or direct sunlight).

The more you know....

[upload.wikimedia.org image 600x600] 
/hot


just learned that the other day. Wife got me a SodaStream for my bday (awesome, btw) and I've been looking into making my own tonic and stuff. Quinine is awesome, apparently

/glow in the dark malaria free belly
 
2012-11-14 03:08:17 PM  

Buffalo77: This text is now purple

Partly that's because in New Orleans, about 12 square blocks of the city are safe, and the better restaurants are typically wedged between two strip clubs.

\what a festering shiathole of a city. I don't understand what the nutria see in the place

Agree, one big toilet and scam central. I think its in their DNA, scam any tourist you can.


well, sorry you guys didn't enjoy your night on bourbon street. but, it's nice to know that bourbon street is still there to keep your type distracted from the real people. enjoy times square when you get to new york.
 
2012-11-14 03:21:06 PM  

Danger Mouse: Donkey Sauce? Is it fresh? Do they real donkeys in the back that some jerks off? Sounds like the Times Square of 30 years ago..

/Good times


They tried to show an episode where the contestants on Fear Factor had to drink a cup of donkey sauce. They pulled the episode before it aired. The female contestant was interviewed and said that it tasted less salty than human sauce (IIRC).
 
2012-11-14 03:28:13 PM  
This makes me sound like a snobbish arrogant New Yorker -- which I guess I am -- but I really find it tragic that so many tourists come to NYC and never venture outside of the Times Square area. It's the least interesting part of the city. Go to the West Village, East Village, SoHo, Brooklyn, etc.
 
2012-11-14 03:44:02 PM  

hulk hogan meat shoes: Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?

Sour mix and blue curacao go a long way.


Curaçao is artificially colored blue.
 
2012-11-14 03:47:33 PM  
A chef with no taste.

Fascinating.
 
2012-11-14 03:47:54 PM  

WarszawaScream: Joe Peanut: WarszawaScream: skullkrusher: Joe Peanut: fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.

If you live in the city, you can't help but see it. But you should still avoid it as much as possible.

I go months without seeing TS

Remind me to hit you up for NYC eatery recommendations sometime... granted I'm usually out there for late-night shows or parties but if the food's good enough, I'll venture out early to grab food.

If you're looking for a place near Time's Square, I would suggest BXL cafe at 125 West 43rd Street. Great selection of Belgium beers, and great steak & fries.

More often than not I'm either on the lower west side or the east village, know anything good nearby?


East Village:

Katz's for Pastrami
Frank's (Second Ave and 4th Street) for Italian
Mission on Orchard Street for Chinese
Blue Ribbon Sushi
Ippuddo for Ramen
Momofuku for Chinese/Southern fusion
Motorino for Pizza
La Montanara for fried pizza

Need more?
 
2012-11-14 03:51:56 PM  

GRCooper: HotWingConspiracy: busy chillin': I have felt dumb in restaurants... all of a sudden you realize you don't belong here.

I go the other way. I purposely go to these places. My money is farking green, I belong anywhere I can spend it. And I like trying new foods, for better or worse.

In my experience, you go into a mom n pop place, and theyre much more welcoming than the big chains with bored waitstaff.

It's not that folks feel out of place, they just want to be anonymous.

/there used to be (10 years ago) a surprisingly good sushi place within a douchey bar on TS.


I've been to more than a few Mom-n-Pop places that treat you like family.

The family they evidently hate and despise.
 
2012-11-14 03:55:29 PM  

skullkrusher: Joe Peanut: fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.

If you live in the city, you can't help but see it. But you should still avoid it as much as possible.

I go months without seeing TS


I work in TS. fark my life it sucks.
 
2012-11-14 04:01:39 PM  

downtownkid: Katz's for Pastrami
Frank's (Second Ave and 4th Street) for Italian
Mission on Orchard Street for Chinese
Blue Ribbon Sushi
Ippuddo for Ramen
Momofuku for Chinese/Southern fusion
Motorino for Pizza
La Montanara for fried pizza


EV & LES both have a LOT of great restaurants.

PS: I also used to call it Frank's, but it is just "Frank". Love that place. And funny enough I've seen lance Armstrong in there twice. Once just days after he "won but not really" the TDF around 2003 or 2004..
 
2012-11-14 04:05:11 PM  
Forgot to mention Sapporo at E10th & 1st. Great sushi. Be prepared to wait but worth it.
 
2012-11-14 04:07:13 PM  

Sasquach: Lost Thought 00: Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?

Uranium.

Barring that, a mixture of iodine and vinegar

Actually....tonic water (the quinine) fill fluoresce under UV light (or direct sunlight).

The more you know....

 
/hot


And keep you safe from Malaria!
 
2012-11-14 04:10:10 PM  

This text is now purple: NashMcNash: On my first trip to New York (I was 12 or so), my family ate at a McDonald's. We're from West Virginia. Tourists don't know any better.

I found stopping into a McDonalds and a Burger King in Germany to be fascinating.

1. Really popular (the free wi-fi helped)
2. It's educational to observe the differences


i love going to mcdonalds in other countries. my daughter had eating problems from birth until 6 years old (was tube fed) and the first thing that got her to eat was mc d's fries. she still has a limited menu. she is fascinated by the differences. i travel a lot for work and try to hit it once during a trip.

here is where i have been to one-
1. canada
2. us
3. mexico
4. curacao
5. england
6. ireland
7. northern ireland
8. belgium
9. luxemburg
10. germany
11. france
12. lithuania
13. romania (had an awesome pork patty style big mac with cabbage instead of lettuce)
14. dubai
15. jordan
16. kuwait (city and us air base..air base still had fried pies) the chicen arabia was pretty good
17. india
18. thailand
19. costa rica
20. guatemala
21. san salvador
22. nicaragua
23. argentina (hands down the worst i have ever been to)


there are some more that are escaping me right now. this isn't the only place i eat. i do find wonderful local places.
 
2012-11-14 04:10:48 PM  

louiedog: There's a greasy place across the street from me that uses the fryer for just about everything on the menu, so of course it was on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. They put up a giant poster with Guy Fieri's face in the window saying he'd eaten there. A week later it was gone. I wonder if it was hurting business.

Spaghettiows: As somebody who is on the road fairly freqently, I need to share some information that big-city foodies seem to be unaware of.

Whenever you outside of an urban area or the directly surrounding suburbs of an urban area, all of the local restaurants suck baboons ass. If you are in Bumfark, ND and your choice is Olive Garden or any local establishment, trust me - THE OLIVE GARDEN WILL BE BETTER. Or Applebees. Or Chilis, etc. I have never had anything I truly enjoyed at Applebees, but for some reason, local restaurants in rural outposts are EVEN WORSE. ALWAYS. (Sorry for the shouting.)

However, when you are in any fairly sizable city, the local places are far, far better than any of the chains. Eating at a chain restaurant in NYC is kind of defeating one of the reasons to go there.

I grew up in the middle of nowhere. The local restaurants were not very good. However, there aren't any chains either. Anywhere that is big enough for an Olive Garden or Applebees has good restaurants. I do concede that they're difficult to find. Even now in 2012 with tools like Yelp it can be hard to find listings and reviews for the places worth going in those areas and stumbling into a random local establishment may get you something better or far worse. Even asking a local will get you to the chains 9/10 times.


Having watched Resteraunt Impossible, it appears only the chain places clean out the ice makers.
 
2012-11-14 04:21:19 PM  

tricycleracer: Nadia G


Nadia from biatchin Kitchen? she would shred Guy to pieces, cuss him out in perfect Italian, whip up a marinade and serve him to his camera crew
 
2012-11-14 04:31:27 PM  

Joe Peanut: Forgot to mention Sapporo at E10th & 1st. Great sushi. Be prepared to wait but worth it.

Wow. I don't want to embarrass you...and a lot of people make this mistake by putting an "a" in the word, but it's actually S'pporo. They make the best Pizza!!!!!! When ever I got to NY I make sure to get some authentic NYC picca at S'pporora!!!!!

 
2012-11-14 04:37:25 PM  

H31N0US:

I work in TS. fark my life it sucks.


Lace?

/gets out a $20
 
2012-11-14 04:47:13 PM  

Danger Mouse: Donkey Sauce? Is it fresh? Do they real donkeys in the back that some jerks off? Sounds like the Times Square of 30 years ago..

/Good times


I think Kevin Meaney covered this one in the '90s:

'Do you want Jack Sauce on your burger?'

'No! No, I don't want Jack Sauce! Some fat hairy guy in a hot steamy kitchen making Jack Sauce! That's not right!"
 
2012-11-14 04:55:09 PM  

Danger Mouse: Joe Peanut: Forgot to mention Sapporo at E10th & 1st. Great sushi. Be prepared to wait but worth it.

Wow. I don't want to embarrass you...and a lot of people make this mistake by putting an "a" in the word, but it's actually S'pporo. They make the best Pizza!!!!!! When ever I got to NY I make sure to get some authentic NYC picca at S'pporora!!!!!


Errrrr - http://www.yelp.com/biz/sapporo-east-new-york - It is called Sapporo East. And they do sushi, not pizza.
 
2012-11-14 05:00:42 PM  

GRCooper: PsyLord: If you are dining at a Guy Fieri's restaurant, you should already know what to expect. Having said that, I did dine at Emeril's in Orlando at Universal Studio and was pleasantly surprised. Both the food and service were good.

My BIL, a chef, said the same thing about Emeril's


Went a few years ago because my kids had been watching Emeril's show and wanted to go to a "fancy" restaurant. The service was top-notch and the food was pretty good. Of course the kids were bored witless and don't request "fancy" much these days.

/Guy Fairy is an ass-clown
 
2012-11-14 05:04:42 PM  

Joe Peanut: Danger Mouse: Joe Peanut: Forgot to mention Sapporo at E10th & 1st. Great sushi. Be prepared to wait but worth it.

Wow. I don't want to embarrass you...and a lot of people make this mistake by putting an "a" in the word, but it's actually S'pporo. They make the best Pizza!!!!!! When ever I got to NY I make sure to get some authentic NYC picca at S'pporora!!!!!

Errrrr - http://www.yelp.com/biz/sapporo-east-new-york - It is called Sapporo East. And they do sushi, not pizza.


Yeah, I think he was trying to make a Sbarro joke. You ever try Hasaki for sushi, on 9th Street at Stuyvesant? Very solid joint.
 
2012-11-14 06:57:08 PM  
The food the reviewer got sucked because the cooks sucked, not because Fieri sucks. Had Fieri personally prepared or overseen the preparation of the food, maybe it would not have been as bad. The reviewer makes it about Fieri and his obnoxious persona, and that is legitimate because that's the brand. But it impossible for the celeb chef to oversee the line at every restaurant, and in truth it is very difficult even for a great chef to have multiple great restaurants. It requires another skill set. McD's has a consistent food product, if not very high quality, because the preparation is simple enough that very little cooking skill is required. For dishes that require some culinary skills, it is hard. If the line cook is sullen and indifferent, having a bad day, or just lacks skills, you get bad food.
 
2012-11-14 07:03:49 PM  

Keigh: tricycleracer: Nadia G

Nadia from biatchin Kitchen? she would shred Guy to pieces, cuss him out in perfect Italian, whip up a marinade and serve him to his camera crew


And since she's from Quebec, she'd also do it in French, just for good measure.
 
2012-11-14 07:53:41 PM  

4tehsnowflakes: The food the reviewer got sucked because the cooks sucked, not because Fieri sucks. Had Fieri personally prepared or overseen the preparation of the food, maybe it would not have been as bad. The reviewer makes it about Fieri and his obnoxious persona, and that is legitimate because that's the brand. But it impossible for the celeb chef to oversee the line at every restaurant, and in truth it is very difficult even for a great chef to have multiple great restaurants. It requires another skill set. McD's has a consistent food product, if not very high quality, because the preparation is simple enough that very little cooking skill is required. For dishes that require some culinary skills, it is hard. If the line cook is sullen and indifferent, having a bad day, or just lacks skills, you get bad food.


And in the reviewer's defense, that's exactly what Fieri is supposed to manage? Moody line cook? Go work somewhere else. shiatty servers? Find another job. If you want your brand to succeed, much like Emeril's or Brennan's, you have to be in touch enough with your restaurants so reviewers don't come in and get mediocre food, mediocre service, while paying $30 a plate for it.

Dried out meatloaf with sugar sauce isn't worth $5, much less $17-30. And if the celeb chef can't or won't oversee his own restauarants, then he/she deserves no-star reviews like this.
 
2012-11-14 08:22:06 PM  

Hoboclown: I dunno, I thought the menu looked pretty good

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 625x809]


The very concept of "Guy's Thighs" chills me to the marrow.

/brrrrr!
 
2012-11-14 09:34:14 PM  

Hoboclown: I dunno, I thought the menu looked pretty good

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 625x809]


Holy crap, I did not know "froyo" was just short for "frozen yogurt." I have learned something today.
 
2012-11-15 12:08:27 AM  

downtownkid: You ever try Hasaki for sushi, on 9th Street at Stuyvesant? Very solid joint.


Haven't been in a while, but...yes. Once again proving you know where to find good food in the city.
 
2012-11-15 12:44:34 AM  
He probably named the Donkey Sauce after the bodily fluids that were ejected after he donkey punched his secret homosexual love interest a little too hard. It probably tastes about the same, too. At least how I would imagined a mixture of feces and ejaculate to taste. This guy came to a place near where I live called Cafe Rakka which actually is a pretty nice place to eat. That is until about a month ago when they doctored a recipe to add more tip money than they deserved for their clusterfrak of a service.
 
2012-11-15 02:33:49 AM  
donkey sauce is trending


/no it's not
//dafuq am i talking about
///i read this at dlisted and about fell out of my chair
 
2012-11-15 04:35:47 AM  

LeafyGreens: 4tehsnowflakes: The food the reviewer got sucked because the cooks sucked, not because Fieri sucks. Had Fieri personally prepared or overseen the preparation of the food, maybe it would not have been as bad. The reviewer makes it about Fieri and his obnoxious persona, and that is legitimate because that's the brand. But it impossible for the celeb chef to oversee the line at every restaurant, and in truth it is very difficult even for a great chef to have multiple great restaurants. It requires another skill set. McD's has a consistent food product, if not very high quality, because the preparation is simple enough that very little cooking skill is required. For dishes that require some culinary skills, it is hard. If the line cook is sullen and indifferent, having a bad day, or just lacks skills, you get bad food.

And in the reviewer's defense, that's exactly what Fieri is supposed to manage? Moody line cook? Go work somewhere else. shiatty servers? Find another job. If you want your brand to succeed, much like Emeril's or Brennan's, you have to be in touch enough with your restaurants so reviewers don't come in and get mediocre food, mediocre service, while paying $30 a plate for it.

Dried out meatloaf with sugar sauce isn't worth $5, much less $17-30. And if the celeb chef can't or won't oversee his own restauarants, then he/she deserves no-star reviews like this.


Agree that the failure of the restaurant is his responsibility, but some of the staff at the restaurant may be the ones fired, while Camaro boy rolls on like a juggernaut. Anyway, tonight I am having some homemade coconut banana cashew ice cream. Ingredients cream, milk, mushed banana, TJ's cream of coconut, diced roasted salty cashews, sweetener (stevia/sugar). Mixer with freezer bowl and dasher.
 
2012-11-15 08:46:56 AM  
Donkey sauce must be a rip off of this: www.businessweek.com

I have always found his stuff, regardless of how tasty something he puts out looks, gimmicky. So when I read the review yesterday, I thought well, that's about what I expect from him, blue margaritas. I was a little surprised the food is that bad tho. Overpriced? Absolutely. But didn't expect terrible.

So CBS This Morning just did a fluff piece on Fieri full of a bunch of stock footage. It reported on the viral effects of this review. I would imagine Yelp is adding servers for as many people that want to get in on the gang rape. One apologist even claimed such a poor review could be good for business. Something I don't understand -I never would have gone their in the first place, how would this change my mind again?

But the piece ends with apparently the only quip on the matter they could get from Guy. In a kitchen with his chef jacket on he basically said you can't own that many restaurants and have bad food.

I LMFAO.
 
2012-11-15 09:36:23 AM  

busy chillin': HotWingConspiracy: busy chillin': skullkrusher:


I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?

I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.

I hate Olive Garden, but as I get older I get it. Sometimes you just want to eat...not be the lame kid sitting at the cool kid table sticking out like a soar thumb.

If they're already adventurous enough to find themselves in NYC, I don't think it would take them out of a comfort zone to eat at a non-chain restaurant.

And it's NYC, nobody pays attention to you and nobody cares. They're busy eating or thinking about what to eat next.

Just going to NYC isn't adventurous. Maybe they are there on business or to see family. Anyway, it was you do there that makes it adventurous. You can go to NYC and stay in your hotel room the whole time,,,that ain't adventurous.

And it doesn't matter if people actually sneer at you ...it is the internal feeling knowing that you yourself feel out of place.

I'm not really defending people that do this...i am just saying I get it. I have felt dumb in restaurants... all of a sudden you realize you don't belong here. But I'm not cool and don't really get into food much, so YMMV


I've been to NYC once. Wife and I stayed a few blocks north of Times Square and after an early supper with her aunt, she and I decided we'd go find a bar and have a drink. Started moving toward TS but discovered that, for the city than never sleeps, apparently they don't much care for bars. Only one we saw was a Hard Rock Cafe that had a ridiculous cover charge. Wandered a little north and east and eventually happened across a little (by little I mean tiny) Italian restaurant in the basement of a walkup. Went in and they had a little (maybe 6-8 foot) bar. Great, we thought. Sit down, no drink menu or list but no problem...bartender will be done in a moment. Sure enough, he finishes what he was doing ends up in front of us and then:

"What do you want?" (Not "can I help you" or "hi, what can get for you"...and in a slavic accent of some kind)

Undeterred, I answer (in my southern accent) "Um, what do you have for beer here" (a fair question as there are two taps but down the way and the place isn't lit all that well so I can't read them from where I am).

His answer, jerking his thumb back at the two taps "What, you can't see?"

My response: "I can see them fine...I can't read them from here. How about you drop the 'I'm a farking obnoxious New Yawker' routine and decide whether you want to sell a customer some drinks? If so, how bout you tell me what you have?"

He cops a look but he tells us the two he had. We order one of each, make some small talk with a nice older couple (the lady is a regular and seeing as we're tourists for some reason apologizes for the obnoxious bartender), pay and head back to our hotel.

To be entirely fair, he was the sole example of the stereotypical asshole New Yorker most folks expect when they go there. The vast majority of the people we encountered there were friendly and outgoing folk. That said, we were tourists in the city and we had a hell of a time locating non-touristy places to eat/drink. The bar and grille across the street from our hotel wasn't even open during supper hours and nobody in the hotel knew shiat when we'd ask "where's a decent place to eat around here".

Anyway, my 2c.
 
2012-11-15 10:44:40 AM  
""I mean, we're trying to. We're trying as hard as we can to make it right, to do it right. ... Is it perfect right now? No. ... Let's see where we are in six months."
"

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2012/11/15/guy-fieri-strikes-back-afte r -scathing-nyts-restaurant-review/

uhh.. dude... YES actually at two months people should be getting the best possible idea of the place, maybe not from a first time ever chef opening a place.. but for someone who has opened as many as you?

yes..
 
2012-11-15 11:14:10 AM  

mcreadyblue: louiedog: There's a greasy place across the street from me that uses the fryer for just about everything on the menu, so of course it was on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. They put up a giant poster with Guy Fieri's face in the window saying he'd eaten there. A week later it was gone. I wonder if it was hurting business.

Spaghettiows: As somebody who is on the road fairly freqently, I need to share some information that big-city foodies seem to be unaware of.

Whenever you outside of an urban area or the directly surrounding suburbs of an urban area, all of the local restaurants suck baboons ass. If you are in Bumfark, ND and your choice is Olive Garden or any local establishment, trust me - THE OLIVE GARDEN WILL BE BETTER. Or Applebees. Or Chilis, etc. I have never had anything I truly enjoyed at Applebees, but for some reason, local restaurants in rural outposts are EVEN WORSE. ALWAYS. (Sorry for the shouting.)

However, when you are in any fairly sizable city, the local places are far, far better than any of the chains. Eating at a chain restaurant in NYC is kind of defeating one of the reasons to go there.

I grew up in the middle of nowhere. The local restaurants were not very good. However, there aren't any chains either. Anywhere that is big enough for an Olive Garden or Applebees has good restaurants. I do concede that they're difficult to find. Even now in 2012 with tools like Yelp it can be hard to find listings and reviews for the places worth going in those areas and stumbling into a random local establishment may get you something better or far worse. Even asking a local will get you to the chains 9/10 times.

Having watched Resteraunt Impossible, it appears only the chain places clean out the ice makers.


No one ever cleans out the ice maker, lol, it's too much of a pain in the ass to do anytime until after closing but it's so time consuming no one wants to do it at closing.
 
2012-11-15 01:03:10 PM  

kvinesknows: YES actually at two months people should be getting the best possible idea of the place, maybe not from a first time ever chef opening a place.. but for someone who has opened as many as you?

yes..



And four times over two months? Hell, anybody can figure out if a place is good or not after four visits.
 
2012-11-16 07:03:17 PM  

YixilTesiphon: Now, I would never go to a ridiculous place like this, but I would not be above going to the Costco food court if by some misfortune I found myself in New York City.

Only been to a Buffalo Wild Wings in Corpus Christi, and that was pretty ghetto. Might be the Corpus Christi, though.


They're all right next to colleges, in my experience, so most opinions of them are probably formed entirely based on what one thinks of beer guzzling students.

/I don't care, it's not like we have many options for good wings here. Good BBQ is everywhere, though.
 
2012-11-16 09:24:16 PM  

shortymac: No one ever cleans out the ice maker, lol, it's too much of a pain in the ass to do anytime until after closing but it's so time consuming no one wants to do it at closing.


That's true, but you give me ice with dirt or roaches in it and I'm definitely never coming back.

/RI seems to only go for roach-infested hellholes.
 
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