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(The New York Times)   The NY Times reviews Guy Fieri's new restaurant and, well... "Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?"   (nytimes.com) divider line 268
    More: Amusing, Guy Fieri, American Kitchen, nuclear waste, Jamaican patty, Emily Dickinson, American food, Small Magellanic Cloud, watermelon margarita  
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13302 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2012 at 10:27 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-14 10:46:08 AM
What if there were no rhetorical questions?
 
2012-11-14 10:47:04 AM

LockeOak: At least Jimmy Buffet doesn't pretend to be a chef.


No, but he pretends to be a song writer. And it's a hell of a lot easier to avoid Guy Fieri's restaurants than it is to avoid Jimmy Buffet's music. Ugh.
 
2012-11-14 10:47:07 AM
Writing an article in all questions seems like a great idea, this totally won't make anyone want to slap me and disregard everything I'm saying.
 
2012-11-14 10:47:33 AM
I want to try an Almond Joy cocktail.
 
2012-11-14 10:47:58 AM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

BOLD FLAVORS!
 
2012-11-14 10:48:07 AM

Grither: HotWingConspiracy: Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.

Guess what the highest grossing restaurant in Manhattan is!


My girlfriend's mom lives on a houseboat in the Bronx (don't ask) and she will only dine at TGI Fridays.
 
2012-11-14 10:48:07 AM
Am I the only one who thinks improv games are the lowest form of comedy?
 
2012-11-14 10:48:36 AM

The Third Man: AngryPanda: fireclown: WTF Indeed: Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.

Great. Now can we do something about the various Jimmy Buffet restaurants?

Or Buffalo Wild Wings?

It is a source of bewilderment to me that Buffalo Wild Wings has locations in Buffalo. It can't be for the tourist trade, because Buffalo has no tourists. And every local knows that even the local sub shop will have wings twice as good for less than half the price. How the hell do they stay in business?


I bet Santa Fe has Chili's, NYC and Chicago have Domino's and Papa John's.. hell, I live down the block from a Pizzeria Uno... Chicago chain pizza in my town? That's like stepping on a church here!
 
2012-11-14 10:48:46 AM

The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?


"We add just a little for-mal-dee-hyde for flavor."


Home of shiny green suit!
 
2012-11-14 10:49:34 AM
Why the hell do you douchily wear sunglasses on your head backwards like a douche?
 
2012-11-14 10:49:35 AM
Bleg. Just give me a nice dark beer.

On the rare occasion that I do want a drink drink, it's an Extra Dirty Sapphire Martini. Yum.
 
2012-11-14 10:50:44 AM

Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?


i171.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-14 10:51:17 AM
Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.
 
2012-11-14 10:51:28 AM
Why does everyone feel the need to ask questions? Aren't articles supposed to answer questions?
 
2012-11-14 10:51:42 AM

The Third Man: AngryPanda: fireclown: WTF Indeed: Anyone that walks into that place thinking it's not a money trap for middle-aged couples who DVR his show, then they are dumber than the Guy Fieri's persona.

Great. Now can we do something about the various Jimmy Buffet restaurants?

Or Buffalo Wild Wings?

It is a source of bewilderment to me that Buffalo Wild Wings has locations in Buffalo. It can't be for the tourist trade, because Buffalo has no tourists. And every local knows that even the local sub shop will have wings twice as good for less than half the price. How the hell do they stay in business?


20 years ago they were pretty damn good - the wings were large and cheap, the beer was varied and reasonable. Hell, much like most bars the food was there to give you something to do while you drank. Now the wings look like the chickens had polio and the cost went from a complete afterthought to "hmmm I could have had a steak somewhere for what I paid for 20 wings....."
 
2012-11-14 10:51:51 AM

Yanks_RSJ: damageddude: Rule 1 when eating in the TImes Square area: avoid theme/chain/celebrity restaurants at all costs.
Rule 2: See Rule 1

Seriously, walk just a block or two on any side street and you will find plenty of moderately priced, good restaurants.

Guy Fieri may be an enormous douche, but he's not an idiot. Open a restaurant in Times Square and wait for all the fat flyover tourist humps to flock through the doors and pile generic food into their mouths. The fact that people travel to this city and willingly restrict themselves to Times Square's overpriced garbage is amazing.

Christ, walk out past 8th avenue and even Restaurant Row has better options. It's only two blocks, it won't kill ya.


that's how toursits are. come to new orleans, a place visited for its food, and you see the tourist traps brimming over the top with out-of-towners savoring the worst food the city has to offer. and getting charged for it. and there are good restaurants within walking distance. sometimes, just next door. but they don't have "Best gumbo in new orleans" on a poster and picture of really big drink specials

/ as a general rule, if the place says home of the best _____, it is not the home of the best _____.
 
2012-11-14 10:52:54 AM

skullkrusher:


I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?


I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.

I hate Olive Garden, but as I get older I get it. Sometimes you just want to eat...not be the lame kid sitting at the cool kid table sticking out like a soar thumb.
 
2012-11-14 10:52:57 AM

WarszawaScream: Writing an article in all questions seems like a great idea, this totally won't make anyone want to slap me and disregard everything I'm saying.


Looking around, the review looks to be going viral, so, yes, it was a great idea.
 
2012-11-14 10:53:02 AM
Yelp would have probably filtered that review.
 
2012-11-14 10:53:14 AM

topcon: Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.


i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-14 10:53:28 AM

Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?


Sour mix and blue curacao go a long way.
 
2012-11-14 10:53:29 AM

Grither: HotWingConspiracy: Why anyone would travel to a food haven and plop their asses down at a TGI Fridays is more than I can comprehend.

Guess what the highest grossing restaurant in Manhattan is!



Yeah well your Mom may go down on twenty-five johns a night but it's not hard to find someone who does it better.
 
2012-11-14 10:53:44 AM
You mean a touristy eatery run by celebrity in Times Square isn't the pinnicle of culinary perfection? I'm shocked, SHOCKED!
 
2012-11-14 10:54:23 AM
Shocking... an overpriced shiatty restaurant in Times Square... I'll get to the RomeroCopter.
 
2012-11-14 10:55:23 AM
"How, for example, did Rhode Island's supremely unhealthy and awesomely good fried calamari - dressed with garlic butter and pickled hot peppers - end up in your restaurant as a plate of pale, unsalted squid rings next to a dish of sweet mayonnaise with a distant rumor of spice? "


Indeed, how the fark do you fark up fried calimari? Every pizza joint and diner around me knows how to make it. It's the simplest thig in the world to make outside of toast.

Also, RI calimari can come with marinara sauce on the side as a dip. I do both.
 
2012-11-14 10:55:37 AM
Only a couple paragraphs into that douchey article, I had to stop. A series of questions is not good writing.

Hard to pick who's more annoying: Fieri or NYT guy.

I actually don't mind his Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives show. I don't watch the others.
 
2012-11-14 10:55:46 AM

Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?


www.fallout3.net

Nuka-Cola Quantum?
 
2012-11-14 10:56:29 AM
It is for tourists who do not know any better.

Why is the watermelon blue?

Peter Wells is much better writer than Sam Sifton. I;m glad he is gone.
 
2012-11-14 10:57:11 AM

pute kisses like a man: / as a general rule, if the place says home of the best _____, it is not the home of the best _____.


You did it! Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody!
 
2012-11-14 10:58:23 AM

Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?


Uranium.

Barring that, a mixture of iodine and vinegar
 
2012-11-14 10:58:35 AM
You want character and good food?

The Meatball Shop
 
2012-11-14 10:59:09 AM

thomps: Staffist: What the fark is going on here?

i'm sorry, did you come in here expecting engaging conversation? is that more or less dumb than going to time square and expecting a quality dining experience?


They're the same people who come to San Francisco and ask where to eat at Pier 39.

Hint: if locals don't eat there, run away.
 
2012-11-14 10:59:33 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?


"We add just a little for-mal-dee-hyde for flavor."


Home of shiny green suit!


Earl! Earl! You bring me the Walter Brennan tape? I give you my bah!
 
2012-11-14 11:00:00 AM
When a writer fills their article/letter with questions, it's a sign of anger. That the reviewer "asked" so many questions tells me they had moved past giving a bad review, and stepped squarely into revenge territory - as in "Guy Fierri must Pay for this outrage".

Anger aside, the review describes the exact kind of restaurant I like to avoid: pretentious with crappy food.

At least you can't accuse them of being overrated!
 
2012-11-14 11:00:02 AM

topcon: Who do you love to hate more:

Guy Fieri or Nancy Grace?

It's a tough question.


Wait... those are two different people?
 
2012-11-14 11:01:32 AM

fireclown: Joe Peanut: Actually, as New Yorker I would say "Rule 1: Avoid Times Square".

I disagree. It's something that you should see at least once.


Well, sure, assuming your idea of a good time is seeing a dozen Elmos basking in a warm Neon glow...
 
2012-11-14 11:01:45 AM

Langdon Alger: and the rules of 20 questions flew right out the door for this author.


THIS. As much as I dislike Guy Fieri, the author sounds like a whiny biatch. I stopped reading about 4 paragraphs down and just scrolled to see how many more paragraphs began with a question. How about not asking all those rhetorical snarky questions and give me a G-D review.

Review: Poor.
 
2012-11-14 11:01:51 AM
I dunno, I thought the menu looked pretty good

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-11-14 11:01:59 AM

tricycleracer: I think that fictional character Nadia G could take fictional character Guy Fieri in a fight.


Of course she could, she's really Andrew Dice Clay in drag
 
2012-11-14 11:03:22 AM
I had some friends go to NY for the marathon years ago and they mentioned they had dinner at the Olive Garden in Times Square. Their rationale was that they had a race the next morning and wanted to eat somewhere they were familiar with.

I'm blaming it on the fact they're from Iowa.
 
2012-11-14 11:03:30 AM

Mart Laar's beard shaver: I, for one, would like to know how to make my drinks glow like they're radioactive.

Any Fark tutorials?


One part vodak, one part green fluid from a glowstick.

\enjoy your stomach cancer
 
2012-11-14 11:04:00 AM

thomps: Staffist: What the fark is going on here?

i'm sorry, did you come in here expecting engaging conversation? is that more or less dumb than going to time square and expecting a quality dining experience?


WHO WANTS DONKEY SAUCE?
 
2012-11-14 11:04:16 AM
I want to know why a majority of dudebros who host shows on food network are such tools. that sandwich guy aggravates the crap out of me. Guy Fieri, goes without saying. there is a guy in chicago, ted Brunson who is a massive douche.


and yes Alton Brown is awesome. I know.
 
2012-11-14 11:04:49 AM
Cee-rist, Could Food Network do MORE to destroy taste in America? Paula Deen, Rachael Ray, Buttered Diabetes Lady, Shill McProductbacking, Sandra "Hate You Die" Lee, or Dee, or whatever the hell...

/and everyone in my stupid town is THRILLED over the opening of a goddamn Cheesecake Factory...
 
2012-11-14 11:04:50 AM
So let me get this straight, tourists don't know where the best local restaurants are?
 
2012-11-14 11:04:51 AM

joaquin closet: What if there were no rhetorical questions?


If there were no rhetorical questions, would that mean that philosophy would not exist?
 
2012-11-14 11:05:19 AM

Cythraul: Paris1127: Cythraul: xanadian: Paris1127: Is it just me or was every sentence in that article a question? Oh god, am I ending my sentences with question marks now? Jesus H. Christ, WTF do I do now?

How do you feel about playing a game of "Questions Only" on Whose Line?

Is this a difficult game?

Do you have a basic idea of the rules based solely off the title?

/of course, perhaps "Questionable Impressions" on Whose Line? is harder?

Wouldn't the nature of playing this game through the internet make the game less challenging? Wouldn't having ample time to think of a response in the form of question, removed from the spontaneity of in-person participation reduce the skill required?


Foul! Rhetorical questions. 15-Love.
 
2012-11-14 11:06:27 AM

busy chillin': skullkrusher:


I used to work in TS and would get tourists almost every day asking for directions to the Olive Garden. You are in the middle of NYC. You are in Times Square... restaurant row is a 2 block walk from where you are. You want Italian food? We have that here. There are literally dozens of little, awesome bistros and cafes and restaurants lining both sides of the street and you are asking for directions to the all you can eat breadsticks?

I agree that sucks...but lots of people aren't cool and don't want to be cool. They aren't adventurous and don't want to go into a place they don't know where snobby foodies are going to look down their noses as they mispronounce menu items.

I hate Olive Garden, but as I get older I get it. Sometimes you just want to eat...not be the lame kid sitting at the cool kid table sticking out like a soar thumb.


If they're already adventurous enough to find themselves in NYC, I don't think it would take them out of a comfort zone to eat at a non-chain restaurant.

And it's NYC, nobody pays attention to you and nobody cares. They're busy eating or thinking about what to eat next.
 
2012-11-14 11:07:06 AM
I used to like Triple D but Fieri's gotten so damn obnoxious lately, All he does is mug for the camera. It's not at all about the food any more, just GF cracking wise. Plus, half the places he goes to now are not diners, drive-ins OR dives. They're just plain restaurants. Can't remember the last drive-in he went to. And stop with wearing the same outfit all the time, esp. the flip-flops. We don't care and making jokes about your own outfit makes you look like a bigger tool than you actually are.

Give me Adam Richman of Man vs Food. He, at least, is genuinely entertaining and seems to love food. And of course, Alton Brown rocks...speaking of which, when will Alton do a new Feasting on Asphalt?
 
2012-11-14 11:07:19 AM

KatjaMouse: Am I the only one who thinks improv games are the lowest form of comedy?


Nope, it's actually puns used during improv games
 
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