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(Globe and Mail)   Not sure what is worse, being a kid with nut allergies or having a mother who is demanding that the city cut down all the oak trees around the school because acorns are nuts   (theglobeandmail.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, Hospital for Sick Children, allergies  
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8433 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2012 at 2:49 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-14 03:09:28 AM  
7 votes:
Nuts are a serious problem though. Jenny McCarthy walked through a school once, and five kids were hospitalized.

/I'm here all week, folks. Try the veal.
2012-11-14 02:21:49 AM  
5 votes:
As someone with severe allergies I have these things to say -

Take the child from the mother and sterilize her immediately.

doglover: This woman is what's wrong with the world.


This.

It sounds like she's not getting any wood or access to nuts at home if you know what I mean and I think that you do.
2012-11-14 03:23:43 AM  
4 votes:
I inhale Krema natural peanut butter by the jar. Go through maybe three jars or more in a week. I'll bet I could just take a stroll through a random elementary school, and with just my presence, weed out the genetic weaklings.

www.pri.org
2012-11-14 12:54:23 AM  
4 votes:
Just put your genetic dead-end in a bubble, lady. After you have your tubes tied and your kid neutered, of course.
2012-11-14 07:40:46 AM  
3 votes:
I vote that we give all newborns a peanut-oil bath so we never have to hear about people like this again...
2012-11-14 03:05:09 AM  
3 votes:

Duck_of_Doom: So, if you point your finger to this kid and say "Nuts!", can the mother have you arrested for threatening her widdle pwecciouws?


Dear god, think of what might happen were he to be teabagged in Halo 4...

Nobody shoot this kid!
2012-11-14 08:33:34 AM  
2 votes:

MayoBoy: said Maria Asper, a pediatric allergist at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children

Does that mean that Toronto has a Hospital for Well Children?


There aren't enough children who fall down wells to warrant a separate hospital. So they just go to the hospital for sick children after they're rescued.
2012-11-14 04:51:13 AM  
2 votes:
Times have definitely changed since when we would bring a packet of Revels to school and make the kid with the peanut allergy play Russian roulette.
2012-11-14 04:20:36 AM  
2 votes:

Mock26: WhyteRaven74: StopLurkListen: remove the tannic acid.

And once you do that, you use the left over water, which now contains tannic acid, to tan hides.

Just use the brain. Not only is it excellent for tanning but most animals have enough brain matter to tan their own hide. It is like a free tanning gift when you kill an animal!


Each critter has just enough brains to preserve its own hide
2012-11-14 03:59:20 AM  
2 votes:
Please, think of this poor woman's child! Calling her "nuts" might trigger an anxiety attack in the child. Or worse, he might kiss her goodnight and die from having kissed a nut!
2012-11-14 03:51:42 AM  
2 votes:
Wait, if the kid is allergic to nuts, how does he avoid contact with his own mother?

I'm calling bullshiat.
2012-11-14 03:41:48 AM  
2 votes:

AbbeySomeone: It sounds like she's not getting any wood or access to nuts at home


You think the husband's withholding sex and now she's gone crazy? Or do you think this single mother of one needs a partner wielding one of these:

samstreasures.com
2012-11-14 03:32:56 AM  
2 votes:
Well, if she was worried about kids bullying her kid with acorns, this publicity will surely prevent it.
2012-11-14 03:26:36 AM  
2 votes:
Jesus F-ing Christ. We need a plague.
2012-11-14 12:27:55 AM  
2 votes:
Sounds like
*puts on sunglasses*
I'm allergic to you, mom
*dies*
2012-11-14 09:22:10 AM  
1 vote:

MayoBoy: [i.thestar.com image 357x500]

I hope she's not allergic to nuts because she would look fabulous with a pair on her chin.


i487.photobucket.com
2012-11-14 08:17:31 AM  
1 vote:

Gordon Bennett: Times have definitely changed since when we would bring a packet of Revels to school and make the kid with the peanut allergy play Russian roulette.


You sick bastard.

/I lold.
2012-11-14 08:05:57 AM  
1 vote:

AverageAmericanGuy: According to Jared Diamond, acorns are edible and but for the quirk of nature that requires the oak tree be raised for years before it bears fruit it would be a common food today.

Also, I think I saw Bear Grylls eat some once.


EATING ACORNS
...
GONNA HAVE TO DRINK MY OWN PEE

/gotta wash them down with *something*
2012-11-14 07:41:48 AM  
1 vote:
i.thestar.com

I hope she's not allergic to nuts because she would look fabulous with a pair on her chin.
2012-11-14 07:37:48 AM  
1 vote:
famousdeadmormons.com
"Move to where the nuts arn't!"
2012-11-14 07:36:59 AM  
1 vote:
The mere sight of acorns could trigger anxiety in an allergic child, she said, while the nuts themselves could be used by other students "to bully and torment children."

STOP GIVING THEM IDEAS

politicalmadness.org
2012-11-14 07:25:46 AM  
1 vote:

fini_fly: This is the nut lady:
[i.thestar.com image 357x500]


Oblig "I'd nut her" comment.
2012-11-14 07:25:16 AM  
1 vote:
said Maria Asper, a pediatric allergist at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children

Does that mean that Toronto has a Hospital for Well Children?
2012-11-14 07:24:43 AM  
1 vote:
Maybe she should just teach her kid not to eat acorns. Problem solved.

Well, besides her of course.
2012-11-14 07:21:43 AM  
1 vote:
Dear Lady,

No.

With friendly regards,
Everyone
2012-11-14 07:05:24 AM  
1 vote:
Five dollars says her kid doesn't even have nut allergies.
2012-11-14 06:49:05 AM  
1 vote:
I've a solution where they'd only have to kill one thing.
2012-11-14 06:11:04 AM  
1 vote:
The mother should just pick all the acorns off the trees.
2012-11-14 05:08:03 AM  
1 vote:

Smoking GNU: Ol' Derpy Bastard: Jesus F-ing Christ. We need a plague.

Can we get a plague that targets complete morons like this woman in TFA?


Windmill syndrome already "exists", let's just make it real.
2012-11-14 05:05:46 AM  
1 vote:

AmbassadorBooze: I posted this in a similar thread.

There are plenty of places they can live that don't have nut trees.
a. Antartica
b. Gobi desert
c. Sealab
d. Conifer forest
e. Mega city like inner LA
f. Clear cut forests
g. Northern tundra
h. Easter island


i. Hell
2012-11-14 05:05:27 AM  
1 vote:

Mock26: I just said that.


i.imgur.com
2012-11-14 04:37:08 AM  
1 vote:
Move. Just move.
2012-11-14 04:36:54 AM  
1 vote:

give me doughnuts: In my vision of the proper ironic conclusion to all this (because God is indeed an Ironist) I see this coont winning her "Death to the Oaks!" campaign. She takes her offspring down to see the felling (because the are TV cameras there, and she wants ALL of her 15 minutes), and as she is blathering on about herp and derp, her little snookems is crushed to a bloody paste under a falling oak tree.

The universe itself would shout "JUSTICE!"


Real justice would be mommy getting splatted all over the sidewalk, not her kid. Having such a nut job of a mother is punishment enough.
2012-11-14 04:35:51 AM  
1 vote:

GranoblasticMan: AbbeySomeone: Matthew Keene: middleoftheday: I guess gasbags on the Internet don't realize adults get nut allergies, too.

But you are NOT entitled to a nut free world. The morons in HR hired a nut allergy stockboy where I work. Are you kidding me? No they weren't. Sorry kid, it's a farking supermarket! Choose another line of work.

We were at Whole Foods recently and wanted a gelato out of the deli case. The guy behind the counter said he ws afraid to scoop it because he was lactose intolerant and was just watching the counter while somebody was on break. WTF? Why are you there?
I have severe alllergies and have no patience for this kind of drama.

I had a classmate in culinary school who was deathly allergic to shellfish.


I love these sort of threads

Lactose free places:
some of the recently discovered, remote amazon tribes.
eskimo tribes

Shellfish free places:
orthadox judiasm practicing places?
gobi desert (venn diagram intersection with nut nuts)
2012-11-14 04:24:56 AM  
1 vote:

AbbeySomeone: Matthew Keene: middleoftheday: I guess gasbags on the Internet don't realize adults get nut allergies, too.

But you are NOT entitled to a nut free world. The morons in HR hired a nut allergy stockboy where I work. Are you kidding me? No they weren't. Sorry kid, it's a farking supermarket! Choose another line of work.

We were at Whole Foods recently and wanted a gelato out of the deli case. The guy behind the counter said he ws afraid to scoop it because he was lactose intolerant and was just watching the counter while somebody was on break. WTF? Why are you there?
I have severe alllergies and have no patience for this kind of drama.


I had a classmate in culinary school who was deathly allergic to shellfish.
2012-11-14 04:13:10 AM  
1 vote:
Give the kid a bag of peanuts and save the city a fortune on tree removal.
2012-11-14 03:51:23 AM  
1 vote:
i258.photobucket.com
2012-11-14 03:45:17 AM  
1 vote:

AbbeySomeone: UsikFark: AbbeySomeone: It sounds like she's not getting any wood or access to nuts at home

You think the husband's withholding sex and now she's gone crazy? Or do you think this single mother of one needs a partner wielding one of these:

[samstreasures.com image 337x275]

That needs to be modified.


The original image was resized by myself from 675x530, so yeah...

skepticon.org
2012-11-14 03:44:18 AM  
1 vote:
I'm glad I'm not allergic to nuts, because I don't want to be castrated.
2012-11-14 03:42:54 AM  
1 vote:

UsikFark: AbbeySomeone: It sounds like she's not getting any wood or access to nuts at home

You think the husband's withholding sex and now she's gone crazy? Or do you think this single mother of one needs a partner wielding one of these:

[samstreasures.com image 337x275]


That needs to be modified.
2012-11-14 03:41:29 AM  
1 vote:

Matthew Keene: middleoftheday: I guess gasbags on the Internet don't realize adults get nut allergies, too.

But you are NOT entitled to a nut free world. The morons in HR hired a nut allergy stockboy where I work. Are you kidding me? No they weren't. Sorry kid, it's a farking supermarket! Choose another line of work.


We were at Whole Foods recently and wanted a gelato out of the deli case. The guy behind the counter said he ws afraid to scoop it because he was lactose intolerant and was just watching the counter while somebody was on break. WTF? Why are you there?
I have severe alllergies and have no patience for this kind of drama.
2012-11-14 03:19:14 AM  
1 vote:
What about zip lock bags? Obviously it would affect a kids mobility, and it would be hard to breathe. But the entertainment value alone would be amazing. The kid would stay fresh longer too. It's a win win.
2012-11-14 03:11:58 AM  
1 vote:
Is a joke, yes?
2012-11-14 02:58:21 AM  
1 vote:

Spad31: NUTS!

/surrounded


So, if you point your finger to this kid and say "Nuts!", can the mother have you arrested for threatening her widdle pwecciouws?

Would the mother be willing to foot the bill for all that tree removal? It's not cheap, and why should all the other taxpayers shoulder the burden?
2012-11-14 02:57:34 AM  
1 vote:
Acorns aren't even nuts. Oaks are a totally diff family from the tree nuts. This woman however is indeed nuts.
2012-11-14 02:48:11 AM  
1 vote:
NUTS!

/surrounded
 
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