If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Globe and Mail)   Not sure what is worse, being a kid with nut allergies or having a mother who is demanding that the city cut down all the oak trees around the school because acorns are nuts   (theglobeandmail.com) divider line 152
    More: Asinine, Hospital for Sick Children, allergies  
•       •       •

8411 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2012 at 2:49 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



152 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-11-14 04:17:41 AM
In my vision of the proper ironic conclusion to all this (because God is indeed an Ironist) I see this coont winning her "Death to the Oaks!" campaign. She takes her offspring down to see the felling (because the are TV cameras there, and she wants ALL of her 15 minutes), and as she is blathering on about herp and derp, her little snookems is crushed to a bloody paste under a falling oak tree.

The universe itself would shout "JUSTICE!"
 
2012-11-14 04:18:04 AM

UsikFark: AbbeySomeone: It sounds like she's not getting any wood or access to nuts at home

You think the husband's withholding sex and now she's gone crazy? Or do you think this single mother of one needs a partner wielding one of these:

[samstreasures.com image 337x275]


Wow...just wow.
 
2012-11-14 04:20:36 AM

Mock26: WhyteRaven74: StopLurkListen: remove the tannic acid.

And once you do that, you use the left over water, which now contains tannic acid, to tan hides.

Just use the brain. Not only is it excellent for tanning but most animals have enough brain matter to tan their own hide. It is like a free tanning gift when you kill an animal!


Each critter has just enough brains to preserve its own hide
 
2012-11-14 04:21:44 AM
I posted this in a similar thread.

There are plenty of places they can live that don't have nut trees.
a. Antartica
b. Gobi desert
c. Sealab
d. Conifer forest
e. Mega city like inner LA
f. Clear cut forests
g. Northern tundra
h. Easter island
 
2012-11-14 04:22:13 AM

Matthew Keene: I inhale Krema natural peanut butter by the jar. Go through maybe three jars or more in a week. I'll bet I could just take a stroll through a random elementary school, and with just my presence, weed out the genetic weaklings.

[www.pri.org image 300x225]


I totally want that on a t-shirt.
 
2012-11-14 04:24:56 AM

AbbeySomeone: Matthew Keene: middleoftheday: I guess gasbags on the Internet don't realize adults get nut allergies, too.

But you are NOT entitled to a nut free world. The morons in HR hired a nut allergy stockboy where I work. Are you kidding me? No they weren't. Sorry kid, it's a farking supermarket! Choose another line of work.

We were at Whole Foods recently and wanted a gelato out of the deli case. The guy behind the counter said he ws afraid to scoop it because he was lactose intolerant and was just watching the counter while somebody was on break. WTF? Why are you there?
I have severe alllergies and have no patience for this kind of drama.


I had a classmate in culinary school who was deathly allergic to shellfish.
 
2012-11-14 04:35:51 AM

GranoblasticMan: AbbeySomeone: Matthew Keene: middleoftheday: I guess gasbags on the Internet don't realize adults get nut allergies, too.

But you are NOT entitled to a nut free world. The morons in HR hired a nut allergy stockboy where I work. Are you kidding me? No they weren't. Sorry kid, it's a farking supermarket! Choose another line of work.

We were at Whole Foods recently and wanted a gelato out of the deli case. The guy behind the counter said he ws afraid to scoop it because he was lactose intolerant and was just watching the counter while somebody was on break. WTF? Why are you there?
I have severe alllergies and have no patience for this kind of drama.

I had a classmate in culinary school who was deathly allergic to shellfish.


I love these sort of threads

Lactose free places:
some of the recently discovered, remote amazon tribes.
eskimo tribes

Shellfish free places:
orthadox judiasm practicing places?
gobi desert (venn diagram intersection with nut nuts)
 
2012-11-14 04:36:54 AM

give me doughnuts: In my vision of the proper ironic conclusion to all this (because God is indeed an Ironist) I see this coont winning her "Death to the Oaks!" campaign. She takes her offspring down to see the felling (because the are TV cameras there, and she wants ALL of her 15 minutes), and as she is blathering on about herp and derp, her little snookems is crushed to a bloody paste under a falling oak tree.

The universe itself would shout "JUSTICE!"


Real justice would be mommy getting splatted all over the sidewalk, not her kid. Having such a nut job of a mother is punishment enough.
 
2012-11-14 04:37:08 AM
Move. Just move.
 
2012-11-14 04:39:31 AM

give me doughnuts: Mock26: WhyteRaven74: StopLurkListen: remove the tannic acid.

And once you do that, you use the left over water, which now contains tannic acid, to tan hides.

Just use the brain. Not only is it excellent for tanning but most animals have enough brain matter to tan their own hide. It is like a free tanning gift when you kill an animal!

Each critter has just enough brains to preserve its own hide


I just said that.
 
2012-11-14 04:51:13 AM
Times have definitely changed since when we would bring a packet of Revels to school and make the kid with the peanut allergy play Russian roulette.
 
2012-11-14 04:58:16 AM
The tree has been there a lot longer than you have been alive, Lady.

Get over it.
 
2012-11-14 05:02:38 AM
And these are oaks.

We need to factor this into the caring equation.

I'm not real good at math, but I would warrant an oak with a 50 foot tall trunk could make a mast and a lot of dog furniture.
 
2012-11-14 05:04:35 AM

libranoelrose: And these are oaks.

We need to factor this into the caring equation.

I'm not real good at math, but I would warrant an oak with a 50 foot tall trunk could make a mast and a lot of dog furniture.


It also probably has a branch or two strong enough to hold the rope to hang this biatch.
 
2012-11-14 05:05:27 AM

Mock26: I just said that.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-14 05:05:46 AM

AmbassadorBooze: I posted this in a similar thread.

There are plenty of places they can live that don't have nut trees.
a. Antartica
b. Gobi desert
c. Sealab
d. Conifer forest
e. Mega city like inner LA
f. Clear cut forests
g. Northern tundra
h. Easter island


i. Hell
 
2012-11-14 05:07:30 AM

Matthew Keene: libranoelrose: And these are oaks.

We need to factor this into the caring equation.

I'm not real good at math, but I would warrant an oak with a 50 foot tall trunk could make a mast and a lot of dog furniture.

It also probably has a branch or two strong enough to hold the rope to hang this biatch.


White oak is much stronger than red oak.

I'm talking about a burr oak, that's a white one, and the branches won't buckle under an ice storm.

Don't plant Pin Oaks.
 
2012-11-14 05:08:03 AM

Smoking GNU: Ol' Derpy Bastard: Jesus F-ing Christ. We need a plague.

Can we get a plague that targets complete morons like this woman in TFA?


Windmill syndrome already "exists", let's just make it real.
 
2012-11-14 05:36:21 AM
This is the logical extent of the liberal utopia. Nobody can be harmed by anthing. In the past, people like this would be weeded out.;
 
2012-11-14 05:37:24 AM

Matthew Keene: But you are NOT entitled to a nut free world.


Uh... I wasn't referring to myself, sunshine.

Also, Flaritin.
 
2012-11-14 06:11:04 AM
The mother should just pick all the acorns off the trees.
 
2012-11-14 06:12:54 AM
My wife is a school psychologist. This sort of story about a crazed parent does not surprise me in the least. A great new label for special education should be "Parent Impaired."
 
2012-11-14 06:15:25 AM
Oh look, another little snowflake article

/when exactly did nut products become more dangerous than guns?
//guns don't kill people... I kill people... With guns
 
2012-11-14 06:19:43 AM
FTFA
The mere sight of acorns could trigger anxiety in an allergic child, she said, while the nuts themselves could be used by other students "to bully and torment children."

Step 1: Educate precious snowflakes that acorns cause no harm.
Step 2: Teach precious snowflakes how to deal with obvious bullies.
Step 3: Sit back and enjoy your precious snowflakes growing into well adjusted, mature adults.

I swear parenting has gone the way of stonemasonry and coopery; an ancient art that no one remembers how to do.
 
2012-11-14 06:30:50 AM
As someone who is allergic to tree nuts, biatch is crazy. I cannot eat almonds or hazelnuts. Oak trees have NEVER caused a problem. She needs to properly educate herself on what actually causes a reaction. I miss pistachios.
 
2012-11-14 06:45:57 AM
All trees create some sort of seed. They are not all peanuts. They aren't really even that closely related. Hell, peanuts grow under ground.

With any luck, someone with some sense will shut this woman up and educate her that acorns are a completely different type of seed, and completely harmless. And then she can tell her child that so the other kids won't mess with him. That seems like a more reasonable solution.
 
2012-11-14 06:47:25 AM
I wanted to post a picture from the pistachio ad campaign of R. Lee Ermey but it says I can't.

\Jackwagons.
 
2012-11-14 06:49:05 AM
I've a solution where they'd only have to kill one thing.
 
2012-11-14 06:49:36 AM

Jamrock: This is the logical extent of the liberal utopia.


Really? Because this is pretty damn similar to "My kid's school school teaches something that I don't want him to learn, so I demand it be banned for ALL the kids!", which conservatives are known to do.

/teh crazy comes from across the spectrum.
 
2012-11-14 06:55:03 AM

libranoelrose: Mock26: I just said that.

[i.imgur.com image 226x188]


Hadn't seen that one. Guffawed a little too loudly in my office. I'm pretty sure the folks in the adjacent offices are questioning both my parentage and sanity simultaniously. That so needs to be in the politics tab.
 
2012-11-14 07:05:24 AM
Five dollars says her kid doesn't even have nut allergies.
 
2012-11-14 07:12:04 AM

durbnpoisn: All trees create some sort of seed. They are not all peanuts. They aren't really even that closely related. Hell, peanuts grow under ground.

With any luck, someone with some sense will shut this woman up and educate her that acorns are a completely different type of seed, and completely harmless. And then she can tell her child that so the other kids won't mess with him. That seems like a more reasonable solution.


That's the best part of all this "nut" allergy nonsense. Peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes.

Link
 
2012-11-14 07:18:02 AM

Basily Gourt: durbnpoisn: All trees create some sort of seed. They are not all peanuts. They aren't really even that closely related. Hell, peanuts grow under ground.

With any luck, someone with some sense will shut this woman up and educate her that acorns are a completely different type of seed, and completely harmless. And then she can tell her child that so the other kids won't mess with him. That seems like a more reasonable solution.

That's the best part of all this "nut" allergy nonsense. Peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes.

Link


Came here to say this. Why they are called nuts is puzzling.
 
2012-11-14 07:21:43 AM
Dear Lady,

No.

With friendly regards,
Everyone
 
2012-11-14 07:22:23 AM

AbbeySomeone: Basily Gourt: durbnpoisn: All trees create some sort of seed. They are not all peanuts. They aren't really even that closely related. Hell, peanuts grow under ground.

With any luck, someone with some sense will shut this woman up and educate her that acorns are a completely different type of seed, and completely harmless. And then she can tell her child that so the other kids won't mess with him. That seems like a more reasonable solution.

That's the best part of all this "nut" allergy nonsense. Peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes.

Link

Came here to say this. Why they are called nuts is puzzling.


Uh, most people with a tree nut allergy are also have peanut allergy.
 
2012-11-14 07:22:48 AM
This is the nut lady:
i.thestar.com
 
2012-11-14 07:24:43 AM
Maybe she should just teach her kid not to eat acorns. Problem solved.

Well, besides her of course.
 
2012-11-14 07:25:16 AM
said Maria Asper, a pediatric allergist at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children

Does that mean that Toronto has a Hospital for Well Children?
 
2012-11-14 07:25:46 AM

fini_fly: This is the nut lady:
[i.thestar.com image 357x500]


Oblig "I'd nut her" comment.
 
2012-11-14 07:34:07 AM
Gig103
Any other species and we'd give the runt of the litter away or shoot it. You know why nobody had peanut or milk allergies 300 years ago? Because modern science didn't have the luxury of trying to save them. Evolution and survival of the fittest is trying to work and we're stifling it.

Eugenics was wildly popular before WWII.
 
2012-11-14 07:36:59 AM
The mere sight of acorns could trigger anxiety in an allergic child, she said, while the nuts themselves could be used by other students "to bully and torment children."

STOP GIVING THEM IDEAS

politicalmadness.org
 
2012-11-14 07:37:48 AM
famousdeadmormons.com
"Move to where the nuts arn't!"
 
2012-11-14 07:40:46 AM
I vote that we give all newborns a peanut-oil bath so we never have to hear about people like this again...
 
2012-11-14 07:41:48 AM
i.thestar.com

I hope she's not allergic to nuts because she would look fabulous with a pair on her chin.
 
2012-11-14 07:43:31 AM
Poor kid, it would suck to be allergic to your own mother.
 
2012-11-14 07:44:48 AM
fini_fly: This is the nut lady:
[i.thestar.com image 357x500]


She probably has been given everything she's ever wanted on the basis of her looks.
 
2012-11-14 08:03:25 AM
Not willing to do any research into the matter, but isn't that a mug of the Time magazine breastfeeder mom?
 
2012-11-14 08:04:02 AM

doglover: This woman is what's wrong with the world.


I could not agree more.
 
2012-11-14 08:05:57 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: According to Jared Diamond, acorns are edible and but for the quirk of nature that requires the oak tree be raised for years before it bears fruit it would be a common food today.

Also, I think I saw Bear Grylls eat some once.


EATING ACORNS
...
GONNA HAVE TO DRINK MY OWN PEE

/gotta wash them down with *something*
 
2012-11-14 08:07:30 AM
One can brew beer from acorns.
 
Displayed 50 of 152 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report