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(The Atlantic)   Top ten ways we injure our genitals. Wearing shorts and sitting in a chair with wide spaces surprisingly not in list   (theatlantic.com) divider line 57
    More: Scary, U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, UCSF, space  
•       •       •

18493 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 3:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-13 04:04:18 PM  
6 votes:
fubegra.net
2012-11-13 06:02:26 PM  
5 votes:

Oreminer: Radak: Parents mutilating their male child's genitals without consent suspiciously absent.

Amos Quito: =====/\ >

Circumcision

Don't you DARE turn this into another one of THOSE threads!



I was going to, then you cut me off.
2012-11-13 05:07:02 PM  
4 votes:
i3.photobucket.com
2012-11-13 04:17:53 PM  
4 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com 
i1125.photobucket.com
i1125.photobucket.com
[/PSA]

/Just a few that I thunked of.
2012-11-13 04:00:43 PM  
4 votes:

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


F*ck Me Pumps that do what they are told?
2012-11-13 01:40:23 PM  
4 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2012-11-13 04:30:43 PM  
3 votes:
cdn.trendhunterstatic.com
2012-11-13 03:59:32 PM  
3 votes:
Playing roller derby sometimes we had awkward falls where we'd land on our own skates or sometimes someone else's. We call those giner shiners...
2012-11-13 03:14:24 PM  
3 votes:
www.dadwagon.com
2012-11-14 01:07:29 AM  
2 votes:
Top ten ways we injure our genitals

i158.photobucket.com


I usually have my Banker take care of that sort of thing for me.
2012-11-13 07:02:02 PM  
2 votes:

99sportster: Fluorescent Testicle: FTFA: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

I call bullshiat. Legs don't even bend that way.

Nowhere does it state that said vagina and said shoe belonged to the same individual.


They do now.
2012-11-13 05:36:26 PM  
2 votes:

ModernPrimitive01: the worst thing I've ever done to my genitals (other than go out with a couple of my ex-gf's) is cut up a bunch of jalapeno peppers, then go pee right after while all the pepper juice was on my hands. It was unfortunate to say the least. Much ridiculousness followed which included me in the bath tub with a gallon of milk.


That was yet another of the Classic Epic Fark Threads back in the day. (I know that you weren't subby for that one, but I'm sure you're not the only person here who's had it happen.)

Tfer is soaking his man parts in milk due to a jalapeno mishap. How is your day going?. (New window.)
2012-11-13 05:20:02 PM  
2 votes:
i220.photobucket.com
Not impressed.
2012-11-13 05:17:32 PM  
2 votes:

redmid17: Captain obvious to the rescue:

Trimming != shaving.

I'm talking about Dr. Evil "breathtakingly shorn scrotum"-type hairlessness.
2012-11-13 04:42:34 PM  
2 votes:

bingo the psych-o: kxs401: Black guys.

White guys.


Backin' up, backin' up, backin' up, backin' up -
2012-11-13 04:37:13 PM  
2 votes:
I've hurt myself a couple of times just winding up an extension cord. When you go really fast and get toward the end and the damn thing comes up from underneath and...oh gawd.
2012-11-13 04:28:51 PM  
2 votes:
the worst thing I've ever done to my genitals (other than go out with a couple of my ex-gf's) is cut up a bunch of jalapeno peppers, then go pee right after while all the pepper juice was on my hands. It was unfortunate to say the least. Much ridiculousness followed which included me in the bath tub with a gallon of milk.

/I'm surprised piercings aren't listed but I supposed they aren't counting purposeful injury
2012-11-13 04:18:39 PM  
2 votes:
16.media.tumblr.com
2012-11-13 03:54:12 PM  
2 votes:
pairadimes.davidtruss.com

I'm Dr. Zilman. Here at the Scrotal Institute...
2012-11-13 03:48:38 PM  
2 votes:
AT A CLUB LAST NIGHT AND FELL OFF A SPEAKER LANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE SPEAKER, BRUISING R LABIA

I want to party with this chick.
2012-11-13 03:21:10 PM  
2 votes:
=====/\ >

Circumcision
2012-11-13 02:22:50 PM  
2 votes:
Parents mutilating their male child's genitals without consent suspiciously absent.
2012-11-13 01:05:52 PM  
2 votes:
iamtransgendered.com
2012-11-13 12:15:38 PM  
2 votes:
i48.tinypic.com
2012-11-13 12:10:10 PM  
2 votes:
11) Overzealous fellatio.
2012-11-14 01:51:42 AM  
1 votes:
Finally, some bicycle awareness! I hate it when my penis gets caught in the wheel spokes.
2012-11-13 11:13:33 PM  
1 votes:
www.mtv.com
2012-11-13 09:01:22 PM  
1 votes:

phedex: PT SITTING ON PORCH-FELT STING TO GENITALS,SCORPION FELL OUT OF PTS PANTS,C/O THROAT FEELS DRY,DX SCORPION ENVENOMATION


The others you've posted were good, but that one got a proper LOL. "Sitting on porch" sounds quite close to "standing on corner/street/steps, minding own business." I don't doubt it as truth, but I wouldn't be surprised. :D
2012-11-13 08:07:28 PM  
1 votes:
PT FELL ASLEEP WITH "SUCTION DEVICE"O N PENIS, AWOKE AND TOOK HOURS TO REMOVE, NOW HAS PAIN TO FORESKIN.
2012-11-13 08:05:16 PM  
1 votes:
PT STUCK A PIECE OF PLASTIC PEN UP PT'S PENIS, NOW HAVING PAIN DX;* URETHRAL INJURY / FB
2012-11-13 07:56:02 PM  
1 votes:
278 PATIENT DANCING CLOSE TO GIRLS AT HOMECOMING DANCE, DEVELOPED TESTICLE PAIN AFTER DANCE, SWELLING; HYDROCELE, VARICOCELE
2012-11-13 07:29:42 PM  
1 votes:

kg2095: 99sportster: Fluorescent Testicle: FTFA: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

I call bullshiat. Legs don't even bend that way.

Nowhere does it state that said vagina and said shoe belonged to the same individual.

They do now.


I really don't think we want to start a rule that says 'once something goes in a vagina, it belongs to the owner of the vagina'
2012-11-13 06:45:26 PM  
1 votes:
media.sacbee.com
2012-11-13 06:27:23 PM  
1 votes:
Surprised to see overenthusiastic-and-uncoordinated girl-on-top is not on the list.
2012-11-13 06:19:11 PM  
1 votes:

JonnyG: I've been to the ER twice after receiving significant injuries during unbelievable sex. Have you? Didn't think so.


I had a bruised cervix once. Didn't notice until an hour after sex because it was so good and intense, I passed right out after haha
2012-11-13 06:09:58 PM  
1 votes:

NutWrench: It's possible to break your penis!


Holy shiat, I farking laughed soooo hard at this gem...

"We had this patient who suffered penile fracture after running across the room and trying to penetrate his wife with a flying leap."

Hahahaha
2012-11-13 06:02:38 PM  
1 votes:

LanguageLikeBonsais: kiwimoogle84: I should think you should know your body well enough, and know your way around a razor well enough, to not have to ask for pointers. I'm just saying.

Unlike many people, I've never checked out my anus using a handheld mirror.

Some things are still a mystery to me. Just sayin'.


Meh, don't have to. Maybe I just fap more than most women and therefore know every square inch of skin. *shrugs* glad you're taking initiative though. Some men just go au naturel. Not a good look for most of ya.
2012-11-13 05:27:37 PM  
1 votes:
all i have to say is never trim your ball hair with an electric beard trimmer
2012-11-13 05:27:15 PM  
1 votes:

LanguageLikeBonsais: Any advice for us guys on the best way to shave down there?


www.buxtons.net
2012-11-13 05:23:56 PM  
1 votes:
onemansblog.com
2012-11-13 05:04:13 PM  
1 votes:
1. Bicycles (1,212)

s11.postimage.org
2012-11-13 04:58:54 PM  
1 votes:

Nina Haagen Dazs: I've hurt myself a couple of times just winding up an extension cord. When you go really fast and get toward the end and the damn thing comes up from underneath and...oh gawd.


I too have been a victim of this phenomenon
2012-11-13 04:57:18 PM  
1 votes:
Nothing about paying a girl with six inch stiletto heels to jump on em? hmmmmmmmmm
2012-11-13 04:51:47 PM  
1 votes:
14. Injecting them with a substance?

hollywoodbrief.com
2012-11-13 04:41:01 PM  
1 votes:

Gramma: I never had one end up there, but I did fall down steps ass-over-teakettle and have my left spike heel make a nice puncture wound in my inner right thigh. It hurt like hell as did the sprained left ankle. But I was lucky that was the worst of the damage considering they were concrete steps.


weirdestboner.jpg
2012-11-13 04:38:10 PM  
1 votes:
#23 Sitting on a blazing hot leather car seat while going commando.
2012-11-13 04:16:22 PM  
1 votes:
This reminds me of the near-fatal abscess I developed in my scrotum, post-vasectomy. It seems 2% of patients develop an infection secondary to vasectomy surgery. Of those, some tiny percentage fails to respond to antibiotics and becomes an abscess. In my case this lead to a week in the hospital undergoing three surgeries in an episode we now know as...

The Passion of My Ballsack
2012-11-13 04:07:46 PM  
1 votes:

Fluorescent Testicle: FTFA: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

I call bullshiat. Legs don't even bend that way.


It doesn't say it was her shoe.
2012-11-13 04:06:42 PM  
1 votes:

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


Million to one shot, doc.
2012-11-13 04:02:39 PM  
1 votes:
How can I be the first to link to this epic Fark thread? You people are slipping.

/saw the pic above
//not the same as a link to story
2012-11-13 04:01:18 PM  
1 votes:
Bathroom falls and mishaps... surrrreeeeee

"Honest doctor! I was washing my hair when I slipped and fell and the shampoo bottle got stuck up my ass!"
2012-11-13 03:57:10 PM  
1 votes:
I just skimmed the article but I didn't see "because it was stuck in the chicken" on there
2012-11-13 03:49:32 PM  
1 votes:
crunchy peanut butter
2012-11-13 03:13:21 PM  
1 votes:
vh1.mtvnimages.com
2012-11-13 02:39:06 PM  
1 votes:
Well, that database has some scary entries:

Narrative: 15 YOM WAS RIDING A BULL IN THE RODEO AND WAS BUCKED OFF AND THE BULL STEPPED ON HIS SCROTUM. DX: TESTICULAR TRAUMA

Narrative: 15YOM PLACED SEWING NEEDLE IN PENIS, UNABLE TO PULL OUT, LODGED IN URET HRA W/PAIN, DYSURIA, NOT SELF INJURY RELATED; FB REMOVED

/O__O
2012-11-13 02:15:17 PM  
1 votes:

Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.


www.realfunfood.com
2012-11-13 12:07:25 PM  
1 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
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