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(The Atlantic)   Top ten ways we injure our genitals. Wearing shorts and sitting in a chair with wide spaces surprisingly not in list   (theatlantic.com) divider line 183
    More: Scary, U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, UCSF, space  
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18481 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 3:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-13 04:02:22 PM
Getting told during a break up that it wasn't an easy decision since you are apparently "kinda the perfect guy" and getting confused and hung up on that statement. Repeated self ball kicking should be on the list.
 
2012-11-13 04:02:39 PM
How can I be the first to link to this epic Fark thread? You people are slipping.

/saw the pic above
//not the same as a link to story
 
2012-11-13 04:02:44 PM

LeroyBourne: I always wonder what could of happened if I wasn't wearing one.


The sound would have been much less impressive, and the pain much more.
 
2012-11-13 04:04:18 PM
fubegra.net
 
2012-11-13 04:06:42 PM

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


Million to one shot, doc.
 
2012-11-13 04:07:11 PM
Zipper, chair, toilet seat, and the classic 'pissed recent ex's knee'...

Could be worse I suppose... I once saw a guy catch a line drive with his nads, sans cup /shudder
 
2012-11-13 04:07:28 PM

karmaceutical: AT A CLUB LAST NIGHT AND FELL OFF A SPEAKER LANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE SPEAKER, BRUISING R LABIA

I want to party with this chick.


Yeah, she still has an unblemished, left one to play with.
 
2012-11-13 04:07:46 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: FTFA: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

I call bullshiat. Legs don't even bend that way.


It doesn't say it was her shoe.
 
2012-11-13 04:07:57 PM

Dead for Tax Reasons: CONTUSION PENIS

sounds like a good band name, leave the caps


Testicular Torsion

Scrotal Contusion

Fellatio Concussion
 
2012-11-13 04:08:42 PM

Radak: Parents mutilating their male child's genitals without consent suspiciously absent.


Amos Quito: =====/\ >

Circumcision


Don't you DARE turn this into another one of THOSE threads!
 
2012-11-13 04:09:17 PM
I was riding a barrel racing horse and it came to an extremely abrupt stop. My boys came down right on the pommel.
It was excruciating, but I managed to dismount and walk away...[Falsetto]"Welp....'bout time for me to be hitting the ol' dusty trail"[\Falsetto]
 
2012-11-13 04:11:43 PM
VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

anybody mention this. One in a million doc. one in a million
 
2012-11-13 04:12:16 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: FTFA: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

I call bullshiat. Legs don't even bend that way.


Nowhere does it state that said vagina and said shoe belonged to the same individual.
 
2012-11-13 04:12:40 PM
FTFA: We had this patient who suffered penile fracture after running across the room and trying to penetrate his wife with a flying leap.

And then?
 
2012-11-13 04:13:39 PM
The surgery to fix testicular torsion leaves a scar that's hard to explain.
 
2012-11-13 04:16:22 PM
This reminds me of the near-fatal abscess I developed in my scrotum, post-vasectomy. It seems 2% of patients develop an infection secondary to vasectomy surgery. Of those, some tiny percentage fails to respond to antibiotics and becomes an abscess. In my case this lead to a week in the hospital undergoing three surgeries in an episode we now know as...

The Passion of My Ballsack
 
2012-11-13 04:17:53 PM
25.media.tumblr.com 
i1125.photobucket.com
i1125.photobucket.com
[/PSA]

/Just a few that I thunked of.
 
2012-11-13 04:18:35 PM
Also missing: "Hold my beer and watch this!"
 
2012-11-13 04:18:39 PM
16.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-13 04:24:32 PM

LeroyBourne: redmid17: SnakeLee: Pick up basketball is rightfully on that list. People going for steals and people trying to save the ball from going out of bounds are the biggest offenders

In my defense, it's a lot easier to steal the ball if I punch you in the nuts before I try and take it.

You sound like a chucker. You're a chucker!


You snuck a peak didn't you?
 
2012-11-13 04:26:41 PM
My sister is an RN who worked in the emergency room for a few years. Once she told me about the 12 year old girl who was brought into the ER after she attempted to climb over one of those old fashioned spike top iron fences. I'll spare you the details, but after the doctors got everything sewn back up, she made a full recovery..........physical recovery.
 
2012-11-13 04:27:05 PM

Dumski: [i277.photobucket.com image 224x224] 
Lets not leave the rectum out of the discussion, please.


a248.e.akamai.net
 
2012-11-13 04:27:29 PM

99sportster: Fluorescent Testicle: FTFA: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

I call bullshiat. Legs don't even bend that way.

Nowhere does it state that said vagina and said shoe belonged to the same individual.


Shoes can fall off and heels can break.
 
2012-11-13 04:28:51 PM
the worst thing I've ever done to my genitals (other than go out with a couple of my ex-gf's) is cut up a bunch of jalapeno peppers, then go pee right after while all the pepper juice was on my hands. It was unfortunate to say the least. Much ridiculousness followed which included me in the bath tub with a gallon of milk.

/I'm surprised piercings aren't listed but I supposed they aren't counting purposeful injury
 
2012-11-13 04:29:12 PM

Odd Bird: xanadian: Ain't no way in hell imma clickin that link. :/
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

SkylineRecords: Dumski: Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.
This is so true. I work in an ER for many years. So many stories......

Ahem...you think you can just stop at "so many stories..."?

Yes. Yes he can and hopefully will.


If ER/EMT stories are your thing, you can find nine(!) years' worth here: Link

/not a doctor
//didn't write any of them
///read the whole thread though
 
2012-11-13 04:30:43 PM
cdn.trendhunterstatic.com
 
2012-11-13 04:32:50 PM
Black guys.
 
2012-11-13 04:35:34 PM

kxs401: Black guys.


White guys.
 
2012-11-13 04:36:09 PM
What happened to "I was vacuuming the stairs wearing only a dressing gown when it came untied, flapped open and ..."
 
2012-11-13 04:37:13 PM
I've hurt myself a couple of times just winding up an extension cord. When you go really fast and get toward the end and the damn thing comes up from underneath and...oh gawd.
 
2012-11-13 04:37:41 PM

Dead for Tax Reasons: [iamtransgendered.com image 279x281]


No laughing matter.

/emergency surgery when I was 16
//not a CSB.
 
2012-11-13 04:38:10 PM
#23 Sitting on a blazing hot leather car seat while going commando.
 
2012-11-13 04:39:18 PM

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


I never had one end up there, but I did fall down steps ass-over-teakettle and have my left spike heel make a nice puncture wound in my inner right thigh. It hurt like hell as did the sprained left ankle. But I was lucky that was the worst of the damage considering they were concrete steps.
 
2012-11-13 04:40:23 PM

LeroyBourne: Growing up I played baseball a lot in the summers. I loved playing SS or 3rd base, and I was vicious at going for hard hit ground balls, and never getting out of the way and doing that ol' lay shiat. One particular ball (hit very hard) took a funny bounce and nailed me right in the crotch. I always wore a cup, but still it hurt like hell. I always wonder what could of happened if I wasn't wearing one.
/hit the cycle once, one of my happiest/greatest moments


One of the positions I played was catcher. One day at practice, the batter foul tips the ball. It bounced straight down then gor the underside of my nuts right where the cup ends.
 
2012-11-13 04:41:01 PM

Gramma: I never had one end up there, but I did fall down steps ass-over-teakettle and have my left spike heel make a nice puncture wound in my inner right thigh. It hurt like hell as did the sprained left ankle. But I was lucky that was the worst of the damage considering they were concrete steps.


weirdestboner.jpg
 
2012-11-13 04:41:45 PM
Near miss I had as a teenager:

There was a low rock outcropping (barely above grade) in our back yard that I'd spent a summer attacking with a sledge and sometimes a chisel, sometimes a star drill. I have the chisel firmly wedged in a crevasse and I'm kneeling with my knees apart, going to town with a small sledgehammer.

The only thing that saved my boys when it popped out was the fact that I hadn't pulled up my jeans; the crotch of which was stretched taut an inch or two from my sack. Got a hell of a bruise on my thigh though. I'm going to guess that the somewhat mushroomed head of the chisel impacted first so it didn't cut through the fabric.

If things had gone differently, I wouldn't have needed that vasectomy years later...
 
2012-11-13 04:42:34 PM

bingo the psych-o: kxs401: Black guys.

White guys.


Backin' up, backin' up, backin' up, backin' up -
 
2012-11-13 04:43:42 PM
The original "Please help me, my balls are stuck in this chair" thread was possibly the funniest one of all time. I'll never forget sitting in my cubicle at my shiatty call center job laughing my ass off. 
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v224/tiltedkilt/20060417nutsack 1.jpg">
 
2012-11-13 04:43:59 PM

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


I'm still trying to figure that one out... Unless the patient's leg snapped in half I'm gonna call BS on that being a slip and fall "accident".
 
2012-11-13 04:45:12 PM

redmid17: LeroyBourne: redmid17: SnakeLee: Pick up basketball is rightfully on that list. People going for steals and people trying to save the ball from going out of bounds are the biggest offenders

In my defense, it's a lot easier to steal the ball if I punch you in the nuts before I try and take it.

You sound like a chucker. You're a chucker!

You snuck a peak didn't you?


I snuck a peak, but it was so fast it was just a blur.
 
2012-11-13 04:47:04 PM

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


If you GIS "high heel in vagina" without safesearch you'll see a few pictures of women doing in on purpose.

But actually I can very much imagine how you'd fall in such a way. If you fall down in more of a 'collapse' manner than in a backwards/forwards manner and land with your foot/heel under your crotch, it can easily bruise or scrape the labia no matter what style of shoe, and depending on the shape and length of the heel, could also go inwards.
 
2012-11-13 04:50:27 PM

KingKauff: LeroyBourne: Growing up I played baseball a lot in the summers. I loved playing SS or 3rd base, and I was vicious at going for hard hit ground balls, and never getting out of the way and doing that ol' lay shiat. One particular ball (hit very hard) took a funny bounce and nailed me right in the crotch. I always wore a cup, but still it hurt like hell. I always wonder what could of happened if I wasn't wearing one.
/hit the cycle once, one of my happiest/greatest moments

One of the positions I played was catcher. One day at practice, the batter foul tips the ball. It bounced straight down then gor the underside of my nuts right where the cup ends.


That's the kind of pain that just induces vomiting right then and there. Yikes.
 
2012-11-13 04:50:48 PM
In Amsterdam, they have stanchions to prevent cars from going down certain streets. I'm kind of a tall guy, enough that I could walk right over one with about 2-3" clearance.

So we're planning our next moves, when I turn around to begin walking...right into one of those posts. Caught me right under the hip, only a few centimeters from paydirt.

// I celebrated later with one of the nice ladies standing in the windows - I assume to warn pedestrians of the hazards of those posts
// she also made sure there was no damage to the affected area
 
2012-11-13 04:51:44 PM

I should be in the kitchen: I'm still trying to figure that one out... Unless the patient's leg snapped in half I'm gonna call BS on that being a slip and fall "accident".


It doesn't say she was wearing the shoe. Perhaps she was cleaning her closet, shoes were strewn about, and she slipped and fell on one.
 
2012-11-13 04:51:47 PM
14. Injecting them with a substance?

hollywoodbrief.com
 
2012-11-13 04:54:42 PM
Had a great dane with a wicked tail that put more than one guy to his knees.
 
2012-11-13 04:57:18 PM
Nothing about paying a girl with six inch stiletto heels to jump on em? hmmmmmmmmm
 
2012-11-13 04:57:20 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: FTFA: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

I call bullshiat. Legs don't even bend that way.


Actually, I slipped and somehow heeled myself in the vag before. (I was wearing tennis shoes, so nothing got lodged.) You slip just right and one leg goes straight out and the other kind of bends up under you. Luckily I'm felixible enough that the odd limb position doesn't hurt. Slamming your vag down on your foot so hard that it feels like someone's kicked you? Now that hurts like hell.
 
2012-11-13 04:57:30 PM

LesterB: Odd Bird: xanadian: Ain't no way in hell imma clickin that link. :/
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

SkylineRecords: Dumski: Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.
This is so true. I work in an ER for many years. So many stories......

Ahem...you think you can just stop at "so many stories..."?

Yes. Yes he can and hopefully will.

If ER/EMT stories are your thing, you can find nine(!) years' worth here: Link

/not a doctor
//didn't write any of them
///read the whole thread though


Thanks for the link. I'm really enjoying all the stories.

One thing that keeps coming into my mind through the whole thing is that I'd wager a lot of these people don't have health insurance and the ER is the only place they know to go to. (Many of the descriptions are of poor people)
 
2012-11-13 04:57:44 PM

LeroyBourne: KingKauff: LeroyBourne: Growing up I played baseball a lot in the summers. I loved playing SS or 3rd base, and I was vicious at going for hard hit ground balls, and never getting out of the way and doing that ol' lay shiat. One particular ball (hit very hard) took a funny bounce and nailed me right in the crotch. I always wore a cup, but still it hurt like hell. I always wonder what could of happened if I wasn't wearing one.
/hit the cycle once, one of my happiest/greatest moments

One of the positions I played was catcher. One day at practice, the batter foul tips the ball. It bounced straight down then gor the underside of my nuts right where the cup ends.

That's the kind of pain that just induces vomiting right then and there. Yikes.


It wasn't fun, that's for sure
 
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