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(The Atlantic)   Top ten ways we injure our genitals. Wearing shorts and sitting in a chair with wide spaces surprisingly not in list   (theatlantic.com) divider line 183
    More: Scary, U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, UCSF, space  
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18481 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 3:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-13 11:55:11 AM  
Uh, that's a list of 7 ways. Or possibly 12 if you accept the specific examples from the database, which are somewhat horrifying. But I'm not sure how you get a top ten list out of that.
 
2012-11-13 12:07:25 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-11-13 12:10:10 PM  
11) Overzealous fellatio.
 
2012-11-13 12:13:29 PM  
Ain't no way in hell imma clickin that link. :/
 
2012-11-13 12:15:38 PM  
i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-13 12:24:48 PM  
cdn1.hark.com
#7: The Zipper
 
2012-11-13 12:35:01 PM  
12: Installing a ceiling fan. (Well, the instructions weren't clear)
 
2012-11-13 12:59:51 PM  
Pick up basketball is rightfully on that list. People going for steals and people trying to save the ball from going out of bounds are the biggest offenders
 
2012-11-13 01:05:52 PM  
iamtransgendered.com
 
2012-11-13 01:07:01 PM  
CONTUSION PENIS

sounds like a good band name, leave the caps
 
2012-11-13 01:40:23 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-13 01:45:16 PM  

Sybarite: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x504]


That timeless Christmas classic, The Nutcracker
 
2012-11-13 01:50:19 PM  
Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.
 
2012-11-13 02:15:17 PM  

Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.


www.realfunfood.com
 
2012-11-13 02:22:50 PM  
Parents mutilating their male child's genitals without consent suspiciously absent.
 
2012-11-13 02:39:06 PM  
Well, that database has some scary entries:

Narrative: 15 YOM WAS RIDING A BULL IN THE RODEO AND WAS BUCKED OFF AND THE BULL STEPPED ON HIS SCROTUM. DX: TESTICULAR TRAUMA

Narrative: 15YOM PLACED SEWING NEEDLE IN PENIS, UNABLE TO PULL OUT, LODGED IN URET HRA W/PAIN, DYSURIA, NOT SELF INJURY RELATED; FB REMOVED

/O__O
 
2012-11-13 03:13:21 PM  
vh1.mtvnimages.com
 
2012-11-13 03:14:24 PM  
www.dadwagon.com
 
2012-11-13 03:21:10 PM  
=====/\ >

Circumcision
 
2012-11-13 03:22:27 PM  
i277.photobucket.com 
Lets not leave the rectum out of the discussion, please.
 
2012-11-13 03:25:44 PM  
Oh, and this:
i277.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-13 03:27:01 PM  

Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.


This is so true. I work in an ER for many years. So many stories......
 
2012-11-13 03:47:25 PM  
"Making youtube videos"?
 
2012-11-13 03:48:38 PM  
AT A CLUB LAST NIGHT AND FELL OFF A SPEAKER LANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE SPEAKER, BRUISING R LABIA

I want to party with this chick.
 
2012-11-13 03:49:15 PM  

Dumski: Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.

This is so true. I work in an ER for many years. So many stories......


Ahem...you think you can just stop at "so many stories..."?
 
2012-11-13 03:49:22 PM  
 
2012-11-13 03:49:32 PM  
crunchy peanut butter
 
2012-11-13 03:51:28 PM  
1 - check
2 - check
4 - check
5 - check
6 - check
7 - check

So, the only thing I haven't done is put my junk in a zipper and zipped it. But do piercings count as partial credit?
 
2012-11-13 03:52:14 PM  
Well, that list explains Subby's ten inch penis, even allowing for rounding up.

But list fails without auto-fellatio.
 
2012-11-13 03:53:03 PM  
It's possible to break your penis!
 
2012-11-13 03:53:09 PM  
Size tends to make these problems less of an issue, I guess some of us are just lucky.
 
2012-11-13 03:53:40 PM  

brantgoose: Well, that list explains Subby's ten inch penis, even allowing for rounding up.

But list fails without auto-fellatio.


yeah, I ain't putting my banana in the tailpipe again.
 
2012-11-13 03:54:12 PM  
pairadimes.davidtruss.com

I'm Dr. Zilman. Here at the Scrotal Institute...
 
2012-11-13 03:54:21 PM  
Growing up I played baseball a lot in the summers. I loved playing SS or 3rd base, and I was vicious at going for hard hit ground balls, and never getting out of the way and doing that ol' lay shiat. One particular ball (hit very hard) took a funny bounce and nailed me right in the crotch. I always wore a cup, but still it hurt like hell. I always wonder what could of happened if I wasn't wearing one.
/hit the cycle once, one of my happiest/greatest moments
 
2012-11-13 03:54:46 PM  

xanadian: Ain't no way in hell imma clickin that link. :/

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

SkylineRecords:
Dumski: Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.
This is so true. I work in an ER for many years. So many stories......

Ahem...you think you can just stop at "so many stories..."?


Yes. Yes he can and hopefully will.
 
2012-11-13 03:55:00 PM  
took a frozen tennis ball to the gonads from an NHL player when I was young.
My high voice still breaks crystal 30 years later.
 
2012-11-13 03:55:35 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: [i48.tinypic.com image 609x753]


Holy carp. Remember reading those in National Lampoon magazine.
Yeah, I'm old.
 
2012-11-13 03:55:40 PM  

Blues_X: [img.photobucket.com image 300x430]


I remember getting into that thread early on and saying to myself, "this is going to be epic and I can't risk being sober for it" followed by me hitting the Maker's Mark pretty hard.

Good times....
 
2012-11-13 03:56:05 PM  
VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?
 
2012-11-13 03:56:27 PM  

SnakeLee: Pick up basketball is rightfully on that list. People going for steals and people trying to save the ball from going out of bounds are the biggest offenders


In my defense, it's a lot easier to steal the ball if I punch you in the nuts before I try and take it.
 
2012-11-13 03:56:37 PM  
FTFA: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

I call bullshiat. Legs don't even bend that way.
 
2012-11-13 03:56:56 PM  
Sliding out of an SUV seat.
 
2012-11-13 03:57:10 PM  
I just skimmed the article but I didn't see "because it was stuck in the chicken" on there
 
2012-11-13 03:58:03 PM  

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


He slips off the edge of the bed and forgets to let go of your ankles.
 
2012-11-13 03:59:32 PM  
Playing roller derby sometimes we had awkward falls where we'd land on our own skates or sometimes someone else's. We call those giner shiners...
 
2012-11-13 04:00:19 PM  

redmid17: SnakeLee: Pick up basketball is rightfully on that list. People going for steals and people trying to save the ball from going out of bounds are the biggest offenders

In my defense, it's a lot easier to steal the ball if I punch you in the nuts before I try and take it.


You sound like a chucker. You're a chucker!
 
2012-11-13 04:00:43 PM  

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


F*ck Me Pumps that do what they are told?
 
2012-11-13 04:01:13 PM  

Dumski: [i277.photobucket.com image 224x224] 
Lets not leave the rectum out of the discussion, please.


Rectum? Damn near kill'em !

/sorry had to be done
 
2012-11-13 04:01:18 PM  
Bathroom falls and mishaps... surrrreeeeee

"Honest doctor! I was washing my hair when I slipped and fell and the shampoo bottle got stuck up my ass!"
 
2012-11-13 04:02:19 PM  
does herpes count? because if so

13. Subby's mom
 
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