Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NYPost)   Gen. Allen helped out Jill Kelley's twin in a nasty custody battle, leaving subby totally confused as to which general slept with Elmo   (nypost.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, case citation, Petraeus, tainted evidence, John Allen  
•       •       •

5196 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 2:32 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



157 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-13 11:51:23 AM  
Subby wins all the internets.
 
2012-11-13 12:18:31 PM  
I think I'm going to need one of those cork boards with photos and bits of colored string to keep track at this point.
 
2012-11-13 12:30:51 PM  
I lol'd. +1
 
2012-11-13 12:41:32 PM  
So, Petreaus slept with Broadwell who threatened Kelley who emailed with Allen who helped out Kelley's twin sister.  So who shot the deputy?
 
2012-11-13 01:00:03 PM  
i63.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-13 01:08:29 PM  

Sybarite: I think I'm going to need one of those cork boards with photos and bits of colored string to keep track at this point.


Heh. I came to say the same thing. Diagrams, b*tches! Use them. It's like a Soap opening up in here.
 
2012-11-13 01:27:43 PM  

coco ebert: Sybarite: I think I'm going to need one of those cork boards with photos and bits of colored string to keep track at this point.

Heh. I came to say the same thing. Diagrams, b*tches! Use them. It's like a Soap opening up in here.


If you can get Bravo On Demand, you can catch up on all the episodes of "The Real Housewives of CENTCOM."
 
2012-11-13 01:46:59 PM  
This thing is going to keep going for a while and catching more and more people in it's net, isn't it?
 
2012-11-13 01:51:44 PM  
So what "-gate" name should this be given?

Poongate?
 
2012-11-13 02:02:20 PM  

GAT_00: This thing is going to keep going for a while and catching more and more people in it's net, isn't it?



I heard that Malia Obama once sent a note to a classmate named Ben Gazi.
 
2012-11-13 02:02:40 PM  
The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.
 
2012-11-13 02:04:44 PM  

Blues_X: So what "-gate" name should this be given?

Poongate?


Snatchgate
 
2012-11-13 02:16:51 PM  

I_C_Weener: So, Petreaus slept with Broadwell who threatened Kelley who emailed with Allen who helped out Kelley's twin sister.  So who shot the deputy?


The shirtless FBI agent.

/not Scully
 
2012-11-13 02:20:09 PM  
I can't wait to see this story done in Taiwanese news animation.
 
2012-11-13 02:21:06 PM  

Diogenes: I can't wait to see this story done in Taiwanese news animation.


Oh God, yes.
 
2012-11-13 02:35:24 PM  

cannotsuggestaname: Blues_X: So what "-gate" name should this be given?

Poongate?

Snatchgate


weeklystandard.com
 
2012-11-13 02:35:28 PM  
A classic "Much ado about nothing' scenario... the much ado is certainly titillating, but is nothing - and perhaps a waste of time - compared to the bigger issues we face.
 
2012-11-13 02:36:13 PM  
extras.mnginteractive.com

She should have just put on some diapers and gone over to kill the biatch
 
2012-11-13 02:36:22 PM  

Blues_X: Diogenes: I can't wait to see this story done in Taiwanese news animation.

Oh God, yes.



I hope they give it a few more days. I have the feeling that it's going to get even nuttier. Seriously: a TWIN? Who saw THAT coming?
 
2012-11-13 02:37:50 PM  

cannotsuggestaname: Blues_X: So what "-gate" name should this be given?

Poongate?

Snatchgate


Pic related

thebiglead.fantasysportsven.netdna-cdn.com
 
2012-11-13 02:39:29 PM  
Peachesgate

because Petraeus's nickname is "Peaches" Petraeus.
 
2012-11-13 02:39:31 PM  
I believe this is a vast conspiracy by the shadowy guild of late-night comedy writers, just like Monica Lewinski, Tiger Woods, and Anthony Weiner.
 
2012-11-13 02:39:46 PM  

AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.


i also feel bad for Mr. Broadwell
 
2012-11-13 02:39:59 PM  

AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.


media-cache-ec4.pinterest.com

She's had a rough week.
 
2012-11-13 02:40:27 PM  
"The Guiding Light" never had stories as wacky as this one is turned into.
 
2012-11-13 02:40:57 PM  

BONERGATE '12

 
2012-11-13 02:40:58 PM  
Last week, former Army General and now former CIA director David Petraeus resigned when he admitted to cheating on his wife with his biographer - the hot one who sells guns, not the ghost-writer who says he had no clue it was going on. The adultery, announced right after the elections but before the Benghazi hearings, became known when his mistress threatened another possible mistress - a Florida housewife with the hots for 4-star flag officers. For some reason, the FBI knew all this yet they might not have told anyone. Or, they told everyone. Or, they told everyone but the President. But it's possible they didn't have the right to tell anyone. Now an FBI investigator and the Marine Corps General who relieved Petraeus in Afghanistan were allegedly stalking and/or sleeping with the alleged possible second mistress and now they're under investigation by the CIA, FBI, NSA, and several Florida Homeowners Associations. Can Navy and Air Force flag officers be far behind? And where is the Coast Guard in all of this? Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of Soap!
 
2012-11-13 02:41:08 PM  
I just can't keep up with this story. I need someone to fashion it into a manageable 10 minutes long Soap Opera so I can just watch it on youtube and catch up with the rest of you.
 
2012-11-13 02:41:47 PM  
has turned into!
 
2012-11-13 02:42:12 PM  
Bill Clinton should probably thank Hillary for not going all coo coo bananas on monica
 
2012-11-13 02:42:35 PM  

fireclown: I hope they give it a few more days. I have the feeling that it's going to get even nuttier. Seriously: a TWIN? Who saw THAT coming?


Every day gives a new layer of goodness; I agree they should be patient.

I just read in a similar article that the original emails to Kelly that sparked the FBI investigation weren't even particularly threatening nor catty. Also that Petraeus and Broadwell shared a Gmail account and would draft emails w/o sending them to hide the paper trail. They'd both use the same account and just read the drafts.

That's some real cloak and dagger sh*t, sure.
 
2012-11-13 02:43:18 PM  
images.huffingtonpost.com
 
2012-11-13 02:43:57 PM  
as far as Holly Petrarus is concerned, My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Holly pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.


/Thank you, Simone.
 
2012-11-13 02:44:03 PM  
This is really, really reminding me of high school. Including the need for diagrams.
 
2012-11-13 02:44:22 PM  

Cybernetic: cannotsuggestaname: Blues_X: So what "-gate" name should this be given?

Poongate?

Snatchgate

[weeklystandard.com image 640x409]


Don'tstickyourdickincrazygate.
 
2012-11-13 02:44:28 PM  

coco ebert: Sybarite: I think I'm going to need one of those cork boards with photos and bits of colored string to keep track at this point.

Heh. I came to say the same thing. Diagrams, b*tches! Use them. It's like a Soap opening up in here.


Personally, I want to see the Glenn Beck chalkboard version.

Petraeus + Allen = Peter Allen => Gay and Australian



Foreign gay powers threaten to bring Down US military all thanks to Obama's repeal of DADT.
 
2012-11-13 02:45:16 PM  

Rapmaster2000: [images.huffingtonpost.com image 570x335]


Damn you.
 
2012-11-13 02:45:46 PM  

GAT_00: This thing is going to keep going for a while and catching more and more people in it's net, isn't it?


It has that look, yes
 
2012-11-13 02:46:21 PM  
weeklystandard.com

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-13 02:48:14 PM  

GAT_00: This thing is going to keep going for a while and catching more and more people in it's net, isn't it?


Yurp.
 
2012-11-13 02:49:41 PM  
Subby-

Elmo slept with General Disarray.
 
2012-11-13 02:50:48 PM  

jigger: Peachesgate

because Petraeus's nickname is "Peaches" Petraeus.


Peaches is just a man.
Doing everything he can
Since his wife won't go downtown.
 
2012-11-13 02:51:01 PM  
I don't know what i've been told...
No seriously, I don't follow at all...
Can we start again at the beginning?
something something canteen
 
2012-11-13 02:51:22 PM  
This chick must have an amazing vagina... it has killed 2 careers, and counting.

It's still just one chick, yeah? I heard something about a crazy sister.
 
2012-11-13 02:51:42 PM  

cloud_van_dame: This is really, really reminding me of high school. Including the need for diagrams.


Yes, it is essentially a high school catfight that is going to end up shaping our top tier command structure for a couple of years.
 
2012-11-13 02:51:43 PM  
Came for Jilly Kelly pic/reference, leaving.....well let's just say I'm leaving now
 
2012-11-13 02:52:23 PM  

GORDON: This chick must have an amazing vagina... it has killed 2 careers, and counting.

It's still just one chick, yeah? I heard something about a crazy sister.


so far only his. the other chick was apparently banging general allen.
 
2012-11-13 02:52:59 PM  

MFAWG: cloud_van_dame: This is really, really reminding me of high school. Including the need for diagrams.

Yes, it is essentially a high school catfight that is going to end up shaping our top tier command structure for a couple of years.


i guess you could say its...generally confusing

YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
 
2012-11-13 02:53:29 PM  
An evil twin? I keep getting images of a writer at "The Onion" with a full basket of discarded copy muttering, "I can't keep up!"
 
2012-11-13 02:53:38 PM  
I'm still waiting on some explanation of how Petreus got married to Newt Gingrich without anyone noticing and why he cheated on him with a woman???
 
2012-11-13 02:53:39 PM  
sostupiditsperfect.com
 
2012-11-13 02:54:30 PM  

MFAWG: cloud_van_dame: This is really, really reminding me of high school. Including the need for diagrams.

Yes, it is essentially a high school catfight that is going to end up shaping our top tier command structure for a couple of years.


Still not as good as the diaper-clad NASA woman driving cross country to kidnap her rival. Though if these emails were never reported, who know what kind of meltdown we would have been treated to. Broadwell is clearly prone to making some emotional decisions.
 
2012-11-13 02:54:34 PM  

coffeetime: An evil twin? I keep getting images of a writer at "The Onion" with a full basket of discarded copy muttering, "I can't keep up!"


I like to think they had already written all of this out, and some dude is yelling "CALLED IT!"
 
2012-11-13 02:54:39 PM  

Sybarite: I think I'm going to need one of those cork boards with photos and bits of colored string to keep track at this point.


Buy some more supplies. There's a report in the Wall Street Journal this morning that the FBI agent who got the investigation started once emailed a shirtless pic of himself to Jill Kelley. I think the safest assumption is that everyone in the government is sleeping with everyone else.
 
2012-11-13 02:54:47 PM  
img716.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-13 02:55:33 PM  

fireclown: Seriously: a TWIN? Who saw THAT coming?


The Latino priest.
 
2012-11-13 02:55:53 PM  

I_C_Weener: So, Petreaus slept with Broadwell who threatened Kelley who emailed with Allen who helped out Kelley's twin sister.  So who shot the deputy?


It was the FBI agent kicked off the case for being obsessed with Kelley and sending her shirtless photos of himself. He later ran to the Republican congressional leadership when he thought the case was being swept under the rug by the President.
 
2012-11-13 02:57:03 PM  

pag1107: I_C_Weener: So, Petreaus slept with Broadwell who threatened Kelley who emailed with Allen who helped out Kelley's twin sister.  So who shot the deputy?

It was the FBI agent kicked off the case for being obsessed with Kelley and sending her shirtless photos of himself. He later ran to the Republican congressional leadership when he thought the case was being swept under the rug by the President.


my life pretty much sucks, and this story is both fascinating and hilarious to me. i know its terrible, but its a bit of a distraction.
 
2012-11-13 02:57:44 PM  
The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.
 
2012-11-13 02:57:55 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: MFAWG: cloud_van_dame: This is really, really reminding me of high school. Including the need for diagrams.

Yes, it is essentially a high school catfight that is going to end up shaping our top tier command structure for a couple of years.

Still not as good as the diaper-clad NASA woman driving cross country to kidnap her rival. Though if these emails were never reported, who know what kind of meltdown we would have been treated to. Broadwell is clearly prone to making some emotional decisions.


That was a standard love triangle. This is more like a dodecahedron.
 
2012-11-13 02:59:18 PM  

themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.



She will be when we get done writing the script.
 
2012-11-13 02:59:19 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: MFAWG: cloud_van_dame: This is really, really reminding me of high school. Including the need for diagrams.

Yes, it is essentially a high school catfight that is going to end up shaping our top tier command structure for a couple of years.

Still not as good as the diaper-clad NASA woman driving cross country to kidnap her rival. Though if these emails were never reported, who know what kind of meltdown we would have been treated to. Broadwell is clearly prone to making some emotional decisions.


Don't be too sure, this thing is far from over. Everyday the paperboy brings more.
The biggest mistake was being involved with high maintenece b*tches that are still emotionally in high school.
 
2012-11-13 03:00:12 PM  

I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.


hows this for a title: "General Admission"
 
2012-11-13 03:00:32 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

This scandal has got everything.
 
2012-11-13 03:01:20 PM  

Biness: I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.

hows this for a title: "General Admission"



Top Brass...Balls.
 
2012-11-13 03:02:23 PM  

themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


Bonus : The sister is a lawyer that is in trouble for denying the custodial father visitation, essentially she defied court orders are kidnapped her own son.
 
2012-11-13 03:03:28 PM  

AbbeySomeone: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.

Bonus : The sister is a lawyer that is in trouble for denying the custodial father visitation, essentially she defied court orders are kidnapped her own son.


this is like all the lifetime movies rolled into one.
 
2012-11-13 03:03:32 PM  

jjorsett: Sybarite: I think I'm going to need one of those cork boards with photos and bits of colored string to keep track at this point.

Buy some more supplies. There's a report in the Wall Street Journal this morning that the FBI agent who got the investigation started once emailed a shirtless pic of himself to Jill Kelley. I think the safest assumption is that everyone in the government is sleeping with everyone else Jill Kelley.

 
2012-11-13 03:03:47 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 480x270]

This scandal has got everything.



The new brunettes are in early.
 
2012-11-13 03:04:20 PM  

AbbeySomeone: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.

Bonus : The sister is a lawyer that is in trouble for denying the custodial father visitation, essentially she defied court orders are kidnapped her own son.


dammit - and
 
2012-11-13 03:04:55 PM  
www.reactiongifs.com
 
2012-11-13 03:05:28 PM  

I_C_Weener: So, Petreaus slept with Broadwell who threatened Kelley who emailed with Allen who helped out Kelley's twin sister.  So who shot the deputy?


I shot the sheriff... but, I didn't shoot the deputy.
 
2012-11-13 03:05:44 PM  
Shaving David's Generals?
 
2012-11-13 03:06:18 PM  
So my conclusion from all of this is that anyone who is on tv for more than a few minutes has groupies. Including Elmo
 
2012-11-13 03:06:25 PM  

I_C_Weener: Biness: I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.

hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.


Bangley, VAgina
 
2012-11-13 03:08:26 PM  

AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.


what does she expect for marrying a man whose name sounds like 'betray us'.
 
2012-11-13 03:10:08 PM  

xenophon10k: Subby wins all the internets.


+1
 
2012-11-13 03:13:12 PM  

Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Biness: I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.

hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina


General Surge
 
2012-11-13 03:14:34 PM  

AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.


+1 but only if The View hasn't gotten there first.

/you know it's coming
 
2012-11-13 03:14:46 PM  
I do feel bad for her. He has to be wondering if he shouldn't have just arranged a car accident at this point
 
2012-11-13 03:16:43 PM  

I_C_Weener: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Biness: I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.

hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge


Zero Dark Titty
 
2012-11-13 03:19:06 PM  

Biness: AbbeySomeone: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.

Bonus : The sister is a lawyer that is in trouble for denying the custodial father visitation, essentially she defied court orders are kidnapped her own son.

this is like all the lifetime movies rolled into one.


Well, no, since none of the generals have been stalking any of the women with a knife.
 
2012-11-13 03:19:58 PM  

Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Biness: I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.

hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty


Cock and Awe
 
2012-11-13 03:20:52 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Biness: AbbeySomeone: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.

Bonus : The sister is a lawyer that is in trouble for denying the custodial father visitation, essentially she defied court orders are kidnapped her own son.

this is like all the lifetime movies rolled into one.

Well, no, since none of the generals have been stalking any of the women with a knife.


give it a few hours.
 
2012-11-13 03:21:11 PM  

Sofa King Smart: AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.

what does she expect for marrying a man whose name sounds like 'betray us'.


Women who look like Karl Rove in a wig ought to be grateful to have a man to share with better-looking women.
 
2012-11-13 03:21:26 PM  

Diogenes: fireclown: Seriously: a TWIN? Who saw THAT coming?

The Latino priest.


Well of COURSE he did. The lesbian periodontist told him.

/bonus points if we can work Penn State into this.
 
2012-11-13 03:23:08 PM  

I_C_Weener: TofuTheAlmighty: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 480x270]

This scandal has got everything.


The new brunettes are in early.


I thought I was familiar with this 'Jill Kelly' from her 'acting' work... this is not the 'Jill Kelly' I am familiar with.
 
2012-11-13 03:24:18 PM  
I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?
 
2012-11-13 03:26:51 PM  

AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.


Yep. Although I may feel sorry for others after all the details come out.
 
2012-11-13 03:27:39 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Sofa King Smart: AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.

what does she expect for marrying a man whose name sounds like 'betray us'.

Women who look like Karl Rove in a wig ought to be grateful to have a man to share with better-looking women.


point made.

decisions, decisions...

i.telegraph.co.uk 
From left: Gen David Petraeus, Scott Kelley and his wife, Jill, and Holly Petraeus
 
2012-11-13 03:27:57 PM  

rtaylor92: Came for Jilly Kelly pic/reference, leaving.....well let's just say I'm leaving now



I too came for Jill Kelly. References that is.

But seriously! C'mon Farkers! A chance to post a bunch of porn star pics/links/references in multiple vaguely-political-conspiracy-to-hide-sex-scandal threads and nobody delivers!? Granted, this is the first of these threads I actually clicked on, but still. This blows. Loads.
 
2012-11-13 03:28:38 PM  

Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?


Go tell that to Mrs. Thunderpipes.

Kelley's book should be interesting if she's allowed to write it.
 
2012-11-13 03:29:10 PM  

Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?


CIA and other such security sensitive employees have too much to lose when the illicit relationship tanks and blackmail rears its head. Makes it hard to effectively do your job.
 
2012-11-13 03:29:56 PM  

AbbeySomeone: Bonus : The sister is a lawyer that is in trouble for denying the custodial father visitation, essentially she defied court orders are kidnapped her own son.


I'm sorry for every time in my life before this point that I've ever wasted the saying "this just keeps getting better and better." Nothing has been as worth it as this story; it just has so much to give!
 
2012-11-13 03:31:30 PM  

EyeballKid: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Biness: I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.

hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe


Sofa King Smart: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Sofa King Smart: AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.

what does she expect for marrying a man whose name sounds like 'betray us'.

Women who look like Karl Rove in a wig ought to be grateful to have a man to share with better-looking women.

point made.

decisions, decisions...

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387] 
From left: Gen David Petraeus, Scott Kelley and his wife, Jill, and Holly Petraeus



Uh huh.  Uh huh.  Ooo la la.  AAAARGGHH!!!
 
2012-11-13 03:33:07 PM  
AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.

what does she expect for marrying a man whose name sounds like 'betray us'.

Women who look like Karl Rove in a wig ought to be grateful to have a man to share with better-looking women.


I wouldn't feel too bad for her. She automatically gets half his retirement and there's going to be a book deal. Yes. "Betray Us" will be part of the title.
 
2012-11-13 03:33:10 PM  

Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?


It was a actually some derper at the FBI that made this a thing, aided by Fox News
 
2012-11-13 03:33:31 PM  
A Mom wanted to spend more time with her child and used what connections she had to try to achieve that. Will this national security nightmare never end? We used double the budgets for the FBI and CIA.
 
2012-11-13 03:33:47 PM  

Bruce the Deuce: Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?

CIA and other such security sensitive employees have too much to lose when the illicit relationship tanks and blackmail rears its head. Makes it hard to effectively do your job.


If being a spy means no hot chicks, why would anyone want to be one, let alone the spy in charge? I expect spies to get hot chicks. That is part of the movie.
 
2012-11-13 03:34:23 PM  

Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?


I agree with you based on a lot of what I've seen coming out, but Petraeus resigned ahead of the story; the director of the CIA resigning because of an affair discovered by an FBI investigation is going to be news. Petraeus put himself in a compromising position, and he made the right call to resign.

But it is just so juicy and yet might actually be a heaping dose of fluff, which is a nice change.
 
2012-11-13 03:36:18 PM  
Sofa King Smart

One has to wonder what the general did or showed to earn all those beads. Of course, the hottest one in the pack got the most beads.
 
2012-11-13 03:37:04 PM  

coffeetime: An evil twin? I keep getting images of a writer at "The Onion" with a full basket of discarded copy muttering, "I can't keep up!"


If they simply republish and credit a mainstream press story on the matter without comment or embellishment, I'll subscribe.
 
2012-11-13 03:39:29 PM  

Lunaville: A Mom wanted to spend more time with her child and used what connections she had to try to achieve that. Will this national security nightmare never end? We used double the budgets for the FBI and CIA.


should
 
2012-11-13 03:42:22 PM  

Thunderpipes: If being a spy means no hot chicks, why would anyone want to be one, l


singleblink.files.wordpress.com
I know, right!
 
2012-11-13 03:43:38 PM  

Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?


because they cheat at everything, Einstein.
 
2012-11-13 03:46:26 PM  

EyeballKid: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Biness: I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.

hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe


+1
 
2012-11-13 03:53:10 PM  

EyeballKid: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Biness: I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.

hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe


Operation Anaconda
 
2012-11-13 03:58:16 PM  

Biness: AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.

i also feel bad for Mr. Broadwell


Even when he makes up that dreadful list of worst dressed people?
 
2012-11-13 03:58:44 PM  

Sybarite: I think I'm going to need one of those cork boards with photos and bits of colored string to keep track at this point.


i.imgur.com
Better book a whole loft.

/my head hurts
 
2012-11-13 04:02:52 PM  

wombatsrus: A classic "Much ado about nothing' scenario... the much ado is certainly titillating, but is nothing - and perhaps a waste of time - compared to the bigger issues we face.


Are you saying that the "powers that be" are trying to distract the American people from our wars on drugs,
terrorism,poverty;the dilution of our constitutional rights,etc,etc?Distract us with sordid,soap opera sex?
Never happen,I say.The American people are to smart to fall for such a simple plot. :(
 
2012-11-13 04:05:29 PM  
a few points, maybe I am wrong:

1) no confirmation of Kelly and Allen shagging, correct? I have seen the emails classified as "flirtatious" and "inappropriate", but I don't think a physical relationship has been confirmed.

2) Betray-us-gate?

3) Petraeus and his mistress were using terrorist tactics to communicate...draft emails in a dummy joint account...essentially never 'transmitting' the content...i don't know back-up protocol on draft emails, especially those that get deleted by the user...but I would imagine they felt they were covering their tracks pretty good.

4) Petraeus got brought down because his married mistress, got possessive of something that didn't belong to her...unfortunately the person she thought was trying to steal her man was 'possibly' in a emotional relationship with another man of power, who then used his power to investigate the threatening comments.

5) still wondering what is being covered up...Petraeus initially lying to congress and blaming a video? secret illegal CIA detention center? if either are true, who knew what...and when?
 
2012-11-13 04:10:52 PM  

I_C_Weener: So, Petreaus slept with Broadwell who threatened Kelley who emailed with Allen who helped out Kelley's twin sister.  So who shot the deputy?


I think we can rule out the guy who shot the sheriff.
 
2012-11-13 04:13:38 PM  
Don't forget General Carter Ham, formerly of AFRICOM.
 
2012-11-13 04:16:18 PM  

YixilTesiphon: Don't forget General Carter Ham, formerly of AFRICOM.


Actually, ignore that, it looks like the connection I had heard about there was just rumor.
 
2012-11-13 04:20:30 PM  

aiiee: Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?

because they cheat at everything, Einstein.


So you people don't like Clinton? I do.

Men like women, I don't trust an old guy who turns down good looking women, especially when their wives look like my foot.
 
2012-11-13 04:22:54 PM  

YixilTesiphon: Don't forget General Carter Ham, formerly of AFRICOM.



Or Senator Kerry MA (Possible next Sec Def nominee)

Senator Whitehouse RI

The use of United States Senate stationary by a Jerry Harrington (A fundraiser for both Kerry and Whitehouse)

and a $300,000 loan to Kelly's sister.
 
2012-11-13 04:28:19 PM  

YixilTesiphon: Don't forget General Carter Ham, formerly of AFRICOM.



Retired...or not depending on which news source.  Also, he may or may not have been asked to stand down and ignored orders and then was relieved of duty...yet is still in charge of AFRICOM.  Got that?
 
2012-11-13 04:29:29 PM  
I demand an independent prosecutor.  Preferably one who leaks stuff a lot...especially nude photos.
 
2012-11-13 04:34:23 PM  

I_C_Weener: YixilTesiphon: Don't forget General Carter Ham, formerly of AFRICOM.


Retired...or not depending on which news source.  Also, he may or may not have been asked to stand down and ignored orders and then was relieved of duty...yet is still in charge of AFRICOM.  Got that?


Yeah, I heard that too, but just from some random dude. Do you have a link?
 
2012-11-13 04:39:48 PM  

YixilTesiphon: I_C_Weener: YixilTesiphon: Don't forget General Carter Ham, formerly of AFRICOM.


Retired...or not depending on which news source.  Also, he may or may not have been asked to stand down and ignored orders and then was relieved of duty...yet is still in charge of AFRICOM.  Got that?

Yeah, I heard that too, but just from some random dude. Do you have a link?



I read it...but I think it was a pajamas media type link.  I know that I saw a legit story that had him called back to D.C. with only a brief explanation that it had to do with his failure to perform his official duty. 
 
This appears to be a more likely story.
 
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/nov/7/head-of-africa-comman d- not-forced-out/
 
2012-11-13 04:41:37 PM  
hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe

Operation Anaconda

The Longest Dave
 
2012-11-13 04:43:03 PM  

pag1107: I_C_Weener: So, Petreaus slept with Broadwell who threatened Kelley who emailed with Allen who helped out Kelley's twin sister.  So who shot the deputy?

It was the FBI agent kicked off the case for being obsessed with Kelley and sending her shirtless photos of himself. He later ran to the Republican congressional leadership when he thought the case was being swept under the rug by the President.


This FBI "friend" was not in charge of the investigation, he was not even involved, but kept putting his nose in it and eventually his superiors "told him to stay the hell away from it, and he was not invited to briefings,"

Later, the agent became convinced - incorrectly, the official said - that the case had stalled. Because of his "worldview," as the official put it, he suspected a politically motivated cover-up to protect President Obama. The agent alerted Eric Cantor, the House majority leader, who called the F.B.I. director, Robert S. Mueller III, on Oct. 31 to tell him of the agent's concerns.

Link

It is not a good thing when an official from your law enforcement agency uses a term like "your worldview" to describe your behavior. I don't think this guy is going to be an FBI agent for long. I hope at least he got some tail for it.
 
2012-11-13 04:49:17 PM  
Why the Post?

They had a simple story that, for some reason, needed to be stretched to include John Kerry (intentionally inserted to be confused with Jill Kelley) and Sheldon Whitehouse (to be confused with THE White House) for no apparent reason.

By GEOFF EARLE and DAN MANGAN

Two more names to put on the list of hack 'journalists'
 
2012-11-13 04:55:40 PM  
Anyone go into the injured genitals thread, and if so, why? Why?
 
2012-11-13 04:57:40 PM  

Hots_Kebabs: hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe

Operation Anaconda

The Longest Dave


A Broad Too Far
 
2012-11-13 05:00:24 PM  
Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe

Operation Anaconda

The Longest Dave

A Broad Too Far

War Whores
 
2012-11-13 05:01:12 PM  

Biness: hows this for a title: "General Admission"


I like "General Disarray" better.
 
2012-11-13 05:02:07 PM  
Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe

Operation Anaconda

The Longest Dave

A Broad Too Far

War Whores

General Strangelove
 
2012-11-13 05:05:01 PM  
somebody stop me

/Moe..Larry, cheese
// no limburger
 
2012-11-13 05:07:30 PM  

Thunderpipes: aiiee: Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?

because they cheat at everything, Einstein.

So you people don't like Clinton? I do.

Men like women, I don't trust an old guy who turns down good looking women, especially when their wives look like my foot.


Pat Robertson agrees with you.
 
2012-11-13 05:12:47 PM  
Whar sex videos? Whar
 
2012-11-13 05:22:07 PM  
Blackcock Down
The Sands of Iwo 'Gina
They Grind with the Boots On
 
2012-11-13 05:30:21 PM  
pag1107: I_C_Weener: So, Petreaus slept with Broadwell who threatened Kelley who emailed with Allen who helped out Kelley's twin sister. So who shot the deputy?

It was the FBI agent kicked off the case for being obsessed with Kelley and sending her shirtless photos of himself. He later ran to the Republican congressional leadership when he thought the case was being swept under the rug by the President.


And it never occurred to this agent how this could all backfire on him in light of his own actions. Soapgate is getting more and more interesting.
 
2012-11-13 05:30:31 PM  
Tinker Gigilo, Soldier, Spy
 
2012-11-13 05:32:01 PM  
Sofa King Smart: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Sofa King Smart: AbbeySomeone: The only one I feel sorry for here is Holly Petraeus.

what does she expect for marrying a man whose name sounds like 'betray us'.

Women who look like Karl Rove in a wig ought to be grateful to have a man to share with better-looking women.

point made.

decisions, decisions...

i.telegraph.co.uk
From left: Gen David Petraeus, Scott Kelley and his wife, Jill, and Holly Petraeus


All those beads make them look like members of a street gang.
 
2012-11-13 05:37:03 PM  
Thunderpipes: Bruce the Deuce: Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?

CIA and other such security sensitive employees have too much to lose when the illicit relationship tanks and blackmail rears its head. Makes it hard to effectively do your job.

If being a spy means no hot chicks, why would anyone want to be one, let alone the spy in charge? I expect spies to get hot chicks. That is part of the movie.


They agree
t2.gstatic.com

t3.gstatic.com

www.conqueryourbeing.com

t0.gstatic.com

www.iusb.edu
 
2012-11-13 05:48:01 PM  

Latinwolf: Thunderpipes: Bruce the Deuce: Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?

CIA and other such security sensitive employees have too much to lose when the illicit relationship tanks and blackmail rears its head. Makes it hard to effectively do your job.

If being a spy means no hot chicks, why would anyone want to be one, let alone the spy in charge? I expect spies to get hot chicks. That is part of the movie.

They agree


You forgot one.

www.007magazine.co.uk
 
2012-11-13 05:57:24 PM  
Das Boob
 
2012-11-13 06:00:53 PM  
Edit: they died with their boots on was a western.

Resume teh funny.
 
2012-11-13 06:05:21 PM  
The Dame Busters
Whore-a Whore-a Whore-a
Sergeant Pork
 
2012-11-13 06:05:37 PM  

Latinwolf: pag1107: I_C_Weener: So, Petreaus slept with Broadwell who threatened Kelley who emailed with Allen who helped out Kelley's twin sister. So who shot the deputy?

It was the FBI agent kicked off the case for being obsessed with Kelley and sending her shirtless photos of himself. He later ran to the Republican congressional leadership when he thought the case was being swept under the rug by the President.

And it never occurred to this agent how this could all backfire on him in light of his own actions. Soapgate is getting more and more interesting.


Look, this guy claimed that Obama was sweeping this investigation, which his superiors dismissed as a catfight, under the. I don't think forward thinking was one of his strong suits.
 
2012-11-13 06:21:59 PM  

Hots_Kebabs: Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe

Operation Anaconda

The Longest Dave

A Broad Too Far

War Whores

General Strangelove


The Big Red One

Full Metal Condom

Apoca-tits Now

Wads and Generals

Das Boot(y)
 
2012-11-13 06:37:51 PM  

Sofa King Smart: Hots_Kebabs: Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe

Operation Anaconda

The Longest Dave

A Broad Too Far

War Whores

General Strangelove

The Big Red One

Full Metal Condom

Apoca-tits Now

Wads and Generals

Das Boot(y)


Operation Snatch
 
2012-11-13 06:53:35 PM  

Sybarite: I think I'm going to need one of those cork boards with photos and bits of colored string to keep track at this point.


boingboing.net
 
2012-11-13 06:58:09 PM  
I thought Jill Kelly was blonde...
content9.flixster.com
 
2012-11-13 07:08:59 PM  
Which -gate?

Broadgate
 
2012-11-13 09:51:41 PM  

sid244: I thought Jill Kelly was blonde...
[content9.flixster.com image 600x493]


I was disappointed in the lack of good Jill Kelly pics in this thread, and then sid244 saved the d...

Ahem.

I said good pics of Jill Kelly! Y'all are letting me down! :-p
 
2012-11-13 10:18:18 PM  

over_and_done: sid244: I thought Jill Kelly was blonde...
[content9.flixster.com image 600x493]

I was disappointed in the lack of good Jill Kelly pics in this thread, and then sid244 saved the d...

Ahem.

I said good pics of Jill Kelly! Y'all are letting me down! :-p


Better?
NSFW
 
2012-11-13 10:45:12 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Biness: AbbeySomeone: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.

Bonus : The sister is a lawyer that is in trouble for denying the custodial father visitation, essentially she defied court orders are kidnapped her own son.

this is like all the lifetime movies rolled into one.

Well, no, since none of the generals have been stalking any of the women with a knife.


And no fires being set.
 
2012-11-13 10:47:15 PM  

EyeballKid: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Trocadero: I_C_Weener: Biness: I_C_Weener: themeaningoflifeisnot: The twin sister sounds like an evil, manipulative biatch.


She will be when we get done writing the script.

hows this for a title: "General Admission"


Top Brass...Balls.

Bangley, VAgina

General Surge

Zero Dark Titty

Cock and Awe


You guys are going too porno for a big theater release.

/release. heh-heh
 
2012-11-13 10:53:10 PM  
OK this is getting weirder. Why did Paula drop her drivers license in a park in North Carolina?
 
2012-11-14 03:02:07 AM  
i42.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-14 09:13:16 AM  

Thunderpipes: aiiee: Thunderpipes: I really think the press makes too much of this. People cheat, get over it. As long as they do their jobs, who cares?

because they cheat at everything, Einstein.

So you people don't like Clinton? I do.

Men like women, I don't trust an old guy who turns down good looking women, especially when their wives look like my foot.


I don't trust guys whose spouse cannot trust them and who would risk their career, reputation and marriage for a piece of ass.

/Same with pot smokers. Till its legal you are weapons grade stupid for smoking it. Whatever buzz you get cannot be worth the consequences if caught.
 
2012-11-14 09:41:39 AM  

Hots_Kebabs: Whore-a Whore-a Whore-a


Winner.

Has anyone included "F*ck Privates"? (check Abbott and Costello)
 
2012-11-14 12:06:22 PM  

cloud_van_dame: OK this is getting weirder. Why did Paula drop her drivers license in a park in North Carolina?


That would be the North Carolina driver's license in a park in Washington, D.C.

Rock Creek Park, to be specific. Indeed, it is most peculiar that it should appear there at this moment, amidst all the scandalizing and News Coverage and WhatNot with the Convenient Finding and why didn't it sit concealed in the tangle of ivy until some Spring rainstorm washed it out onto the footpath where some elderly gentleman, out exposing himself to young ladies finds it as he stoops to catch an up-skirt glimpse of a leggy Congressional intern. Hmmmmmm?
 
2012-11-14 07:41:52 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: That would be the North Carolina driver's license in a park in Washington, D.C.


Are North Carolina drivers licenses equipped with RFID tags? If so, I could see how someone trained in intelligence might want to misplace it.
 
2012-11-14 07:42:41 PM  
Though, maybe she should have just left it in the house, or put it in a duck tape wallet.
 
Displayed 157 of 157 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report