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(Yahoo)   Since it has exceeded the 25,000 signature threshold, the White House by its own rules, may have to formally respond to the TX secession petition on WhiteHouse.gov. Aides say possible responses include "aww hell Naw" and "No. Fark You"   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 95
    More: Followup, naw, White House, Texas Secession, Grandma's, original idea, petitions, federal courts, enumerated powers  
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10695 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 12:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-13 12:12:44 PM
21 votes:
My thought is that we should let them go, and then invade them for their oil a week later.
2012-11-13 12:37:28 PM
12 votes:
i.i.com.com

Dear Micah H,

Thank you for your petition. It is always good to see citizens using the Federal government's website to ask to secede from the Federal government.

You mentioned you were a member of the Tea Party. I regret to inform you that the Tea Party is actually against secession. Since you are politically active, and I support my political opponents' right to express their views, I would direct you to the Lemon Party. As supporters of secession, they may have something to offer you.

Sincerely,
President Barack Obama

1.bp.blogspot.com

Dear Mr. Soetoro,

At first I ignored your suggestion, because you're not my President. My family shares my E-Mail, and my grandmother says she likes the Lemon Party, so I will research it, but only because she suggested that I do - not because of you.

- Micah H.

i.imgur.com
2012-11-13 12:01:21 PM
12 votes:
Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.
2012-11-13 12:11:07 PM
8 votes:

AFKobel: Please let them go.


Bismillah! We will not let them Go!
2012-11-13 12:33:24 PM
6 votes:

rufus-t-firefly: The response should just be a photo of Gen. Sherman.


They should make it a "Save the Date" post card...

24.media.tumblr.com

On reverse:

Dear Texas,

Thank you for your petition requesting secession from the Union. At this time, we are unable to accommodate your request, but as a token of our appreciation, we will add Texas to our "Uncle Billy's 2012 Southern BBQ Tour".

Please advise which consecutive series of dates you will be available for participation.

Reminder: Hiding of valuables in the garden will just make Uncle Billy angry.

Yours,

The United States of America"
2012-11-13 12:07:51 PM
6 votes:
www.performanceboats.com
2012-11-13 12:07:09 PM
6 votes:
"Get your legislature to send me a request, then we'll talk."

Then sit back and watch the fun erupt.
2012-11-13 01:20:04 PM
5 votes:

tinderfitles: Anyone else really excited at the prospect of Joe Biden: Road Warrior?


i46.tinypic.com
There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your Camaro, the oil, the TexMex food, and the whole of your Amtrak Eagle routes, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror. And there will be ice cream.
2012-11-13 12:16:53 PM
5 votes:
The response should be:

It is no role of the President of the United States to consider the secession of the States of the Union from that Union. The matter should be considered by Congress upon lawful petition by a plurality of citizens of a State. Congress may, upon a vote of its members, put forward to the President for his signature a Bill allowing that State to secede from the Union. At which point, President Barack Hussain Obama will veto that Bill, as it is no role of the President of the United States to consider the secession of States of the Union from that Union, in the other sense of the word 'consider'.

He will then return to Presidenting while black, and if any of you traitors want to see him outside, he will beat you like red-headed stepchildren.

/job done
2012-11-13 12:14:30 PM
5 votes:

Perducci: FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.

Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.


The national cuisine would be awesome. Chili Poutine with a maple glazed 20 oz. ribeye.
2012-11-13 12:13:45 PM
5 votes:
My favorite part is the gloating on some of the freeper sites.

LOL he HAS TO RESPOND NOW!!! HA HA WE'VE FINALLY CORNERED THAT MOOSLIM COMMIE AND WE USED HIS OWN WEBSITE TO DO IT lololololol... WHATCHA GONNA DO, BARRY?

Oh, yeah, I'm sure the White House is furious that they're going to get to tee off on crazed secessionists drunk on their own stupid. And in a public forum! Oh, no, please don't cover this, media. Please don't camp out on our website waiting for the response... that would be terrible!
2012-11-13 12:13:24 PM
5 votes:
If Texas leaves the union where will I, as a liberal Tennesseean, be able to point and laugh at someone who is more backward than my home state?

/Mississippi I'm looking at you
2012-11-13 12:12:35 PM
5 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2012-11-13 12:07:23 PM
5 votes:
What about "Fine but only if you take Oklahoma with you"? That'll sour the deal real fast.
2012-11-13 12:07:16 PM
5 votes:
I think he should just walk into the press room, go behind the podium, pick up the mic, recite Bill Pullman's speech from Independence Day, drop it, and leave. But that's just me.

They're entitled to their opinion and they shouldn't be punished for it. However, I will fight for my own right, as an American, to laugh at them.
2012-11-13 12:06:07 PM
5 votes:
The response should just be a photo of Gen. Sherman.
2012-11-13 01:09:21 PM
4 votes:
i1357.photobucket.com 
how was this not posted yet?
2012-11-13 12:35:55 PM
4 votes:

TV's Vinnie: 25,000 rock-stupid Texans.

And THIS is why you didn't get a Space Shuttle, Texas.

IMO, the Smithsonian ought to ask for their Saturn V back.

And move the JSC to Florida as well.

/F*CK TEXAS!
//Don't want to hear any crap about parts of Texas being Progressive either. If you saw a pair of pants with crap all over it except for one back pocket that's clean, you wouldn't put them on because it's still a pair of pants covered in sh*t.


Stupid is right. Hell, they'd probably pay $5 a month for a free message forum.
2012-11-13 12:22:00 PM
4 votes:
These guys sure do love America and the Constitution.
2012-11-13 12:18:32 PM
4 votes:
The Dems should troll them and draw up a resolution. Make the GOP have to vote it down and piss off some of their base. All the Dems should vote 'present'.
2012-11-13 12:16:10 PM
4 votes:
He should tell the signers to self-deport if they want to. I know someone that did during the last election. It isn't going very well for them in spite of the web sites that they looked at that told them it would be a libertarian paradise.
2012-11-13 12:11:13 PM
4 votes:
You go be Democrats in the blue states and try out all your new theories. We'll secede, and then clean up when you implode like your inspiration, the Soviet Union.
2012-11-13 12:10:22 PM
4 votes:
Bullets are technically a form of response.
2012-11-13 12:05:52 PM
4 votes:
They could also go with a classy "Secession: NOT YOURS" animated GIF.
2012-11-13 12:04:35 PM
4 votes:
"All you have to do is pay off your share of the national debt and we'll let you go"
2012-11-13 12:45:50 PM
3 votes:
s11.postimage.org

"I Am Disinclined To Acquiesce Your Request."
2012-11-13 12:27:17 PM
3 votes:
Obama comes to the Podium:

"As you all know, in order to foster an open dialogue with the American people, my administration has set in place a rule that mandates a response to any and all petitions that are able to gather in excess of 25,000 signatures. This week such a petition has been brought to my desk requesting the secession of the great state of Texas from the Union. As we are required to address the petition based on our own, self-imposed rules, I have prepared a response."

*clears throat*

"No"

Walks off stage
2012-11-13 12:20:53 PM
3 votes:
The best part of that petition are the signatures from Massachusetts, Illinois, Pennsylvania, etc...
2012-11-13 12:20:20 PM
3 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2012-11-13 12:19:20 PM
3 votes:
25,000 rock-stupid Texans.

And THIS is why you didn't get a Space Shuttle, Texas.

IMO, the Smithsonian ought to ask for their Saturn V back.

And move the JSC to Florida as well.

/F*CK TEXAS!
//Don't want to hear any crap about parts of Texas being Progressive either. If you saw a pair of pants with crap all over it except for one back pocket that's clean, you wouldn't put them on because it's still a pair of pants covered in sh*t.
2012-11-13 12:17:08 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com

would be my response.
2012-11-13 12:16:59 PM
3 votes:
I think this is the official White House response.

i2.kym-cdn.com
2012-11-13 12:15:55 PM
3 votes:
To: Change.org
From: B­oba­ma[nospam-﹫-backwards]esuoh­e­tih­w*go­v
Subject: Re:Seccession Petition
_______________________________________________________

i0.kym-cdn.com

- B
2012-11-13 12:10:50 PM
3 votes:
The White House Response should be short enough:

"Dear Texas:

Remember Texas vs. White? No? Then look it up.

By the way, no.

Sincerely,

The White House"
2012-11-13 12:06:27 PM
3 votes:
Please, we insist.
2012-11-13 03:13:18 PM
2 votes:
Meanwhile, in texas...

i50.tinypic.com
2012-11-13 02:12:07 PM
2 votes:
www.recaption.com
2012-11-13 12:56:28 PM
2 votes:

CygnusDarius: FirstNationalBastard: CPennypacker: Obama comes to the Podium:

"As you all know, in order to foster an open dialogue with the American people, my administration has set in place a rule that mandates a response to any and all petitions that are able to gather in excess of 25,000 signatures. This week such a petition has been brought to my desk requesting the secession of the great state of Texas from the Union. As we are required to address the petition based on our own, self-imposed rules, I have prepared a response."

*clears throat*

"No"

Walks off stage

Can he, at least, walk out on stage surrounded by a rainbow coalition of hot broads in bikinis, wearing a fur coat and pimp hat, and with Biden in tow wearing his Kiss Crazy Crazy Nights '87 Tour T-Shirt, leather pants, and rocking a mullet?

You forgot Biden's bird.


Jill Biden can also wear bikini if she want too.
2012-11-13 12:49:40 PM
2 votes:

Infernalist: As said before, go ahead and pull out all national forces, claim as much federal property as possible, drone-strike the bridges and highways at the borders and give Mexico the go-ahead to reclaim Tejas.


I'm not sure which way I'd bet if it came down to a fight between Los Zetas and the TNG.

Actually we should let them secede AS a State, but then invoke the Monroe Doctrine, and inform them that we are claiming them as a US protectorate with a status somewhat similar to Puerto Rico's
2012-11-13 12:40:22 PM
2 votes:

mark12A: Of course, when the Mexicans take over California, and start agitating for secession, Farkistan will cheer them on as they correct an historic wrong, i.e., Mexico's loss of California to the US....

/politically correct disintegration of USA is the best kind of disintegration


With this new batch of trolls, I imagine an airhorn that just blares "DEEEEERRRRRRRRRRP" when activated; that noise is then translated into a random assortment of words using poorly written voice recognition software. The result is then translated from Derp to English and posted here.
2012-11-13 12:37:37 PM
2 votes:

DeltaPunch: Texas can round up all their young, corn-fed boys into a militia, and we send in the US military. Winner gets to keep Texas.


how about a shuffleboard match between Obama and Willie Nelson, and the winner gets to roll the next joint?
2012-11-13 12:37:23 PM
2 votes:
Let's give them a trial period, say, by immediately removing all federal security at the border for a week. Let's see how that goes for them.

Also we should carpet bomb Dallas. Just in general, I mean, whether they secede or not.
2012-11-13 12:19:37 PM
2 votes:
As said before, go ahead and pull out all national forces, claim as much federal property as possible, drone-strike the bridges and highways at the borders and give Mexico the go-ahead to reclaim Tejas.
2012-11-13 12:18:34 PM
2 votes:
fark the Lone Stars in their brown stars.
2012-11-13 12:17:10 PM
2 votes:
www.gagbay.com
2012-11-13 12:14:12 PM
2 votes:

doubled99: Why do so many of you have a problem with this? Let em do it.


Because the land is American. Their options are "suck it up," "die," and "leave." No one cares which they pick.
2012-11-13 12:10:59 PM
2 votes:
In other news, you can find 25,000 people in TX who think that the world is flat and was created in 6 days, but that doesn't make them any less idiots.
2012-11-13 12:08:57 PM
2 votes:
I think a proportional response is called for. Time to move a military base up north. We're just trying to make them happy.
2012-11-13 12:07:11 PM
2 votes:
Before everyone says 'no way', think about it.

1) Obama hates Texas as much, if not more, then Texas hates Obama.
2) With the loss of 30 something guaranteed red state votes, he would make the path to the Whitehouse much easier for Nancy Pelosi.
2012-11-13 12:06:29 PM
2 votes:
Dismember the Alamo.
2012-11-13 12:06:23 PM
2 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.


Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.
2012-11-13 04:45:46 PM
1 votes:
How in the hell did Obama get back in? Didn't the last 4 years prove enough for all you idiots? He will ruin the country!!! Mark my words 4 years from now! A huge "I told you so," is coming!!! Uneducated voters!
2012-11-13 02:52:09 PM
1 votes:
Wow. 25k sigs out of 25M in Texas. That's like, an overwhelming majority, about 0.1%.

We should all take this very seriously.
2012-11-13 02:19:31 PM
1 votes:

SocraticIrony: Texas seceding would be the greatest thing that's ever happened to the US. Without Texas's Congressmen, the Democrats would take the House and further their control of the Senate. Not to mention that without it's 38 electoral votes the Republicans would never have a chance at the White House ever again.


I think the biggest 'problem' is that if Texas secedes there may be 25 or so states that would gladly joint the new republic it created. Before you laugh, look at a globe from 30 years ago and then one from today, countries do it all the time.
2012-11-13 01:22:24 PM
1 votes:

Mija: KarmicDisaster: He should tell the signers to self-deport if they want to. I know someone that did during the last election. It isn't going very well for them in spite of the web sites that they looked at that told them it would be a libertarian paradise.

I would like more details please so I can enjoy their failure.


I can't say because they might lurk. They live in Panama now. First the emails were gloating, now they are pitiful and pleading. I guess that the expected collapse it taking a bit too long.
2012-11-13 01:11:30 PM
1 votes:
"Dear Texas
Door
Ass
Don't let it hit you,..or do, who cares.

You have a sandyvag over an election... good riddance, get the fark out, your sense of self-importance has 0 basis in reality.

1. Repossession:
We now repossess our federal lands/holdings/monies/educational facilities.
Any access to same is now illegal for your population. The US will now take over access ways to our holdings via imminent domain.
- 1a. Military:
All military bases/assets/holdings/equipment will be returned to the US government control, no Texas citizens may serve or operate within US facilities. These holdings and access to same are property of the US government (see sec 1) We do however have a special purchase program if you'd like to buy your own military hardware, unfortunately the current holdings would eat up your GDP for the next 50 years. We will leave some bayonets for you gratis.
- 1b. Nuclear Assets
All nuclear materials/facilities/equipment will be returned to the US government control, no Texas citizens may serve or operate within US facilities. These holdings and access to same are property of the US government (see sec 1). Any attempt to create a nuclear facility or obtain nuclear materials will be seen as an act of aggression against the US government and will be dealt with in accordance.
- 1c. Oil Reserves.
As much of the oil land holdings in the country of Texas are currently owned/partially owned by companies existing in the USA and/or the US government, these holdings will be considered US soil and their control will remain that of US citizens and/or the US government. If you would like to purchase this land an agreement can be reached for a fee and a % of assets in perpetuity.

2. Immigration:
No passports will be issued to Texas due to the hostile nature of this act.
And hindrance of US citizens with access to US assets will be seen as an act of war.

3. Debt
The state of Texas shall continue to pay the US government until their current debt is paid off, the USA will allow Texas to pay this debt off in installments with a 9.8% APR.

4. Assistance:
The US does not consider Texas an enemy per say but will not devote any of it's local military assets to the defense of Texas excepting whereas that defense would be fairly compensated for with land or money, or in which case a threat is posed to the USA in which case no authorization from Texas will be needed to carry out our defense initiatives.

4. Competitive Sports:
You are no longer part of any American sports leagues at the state or national level, nor will you be able to compete in these events. We suggest you specialize in soccer now as no one will ever care about your sports teams ever again. (that realization alone would make the people revolt and kiss Uncle Sam's Dangly bits.)

5. Return:
The state of Texas will have a grace period of 2 years to return to the USA, When you do return there will be "Penalties and restrictive conditions" in measure to being self-important whiney biatches.

-Yours Truly
Barry (glad I never have to see big hats and boots again" Obama

P.S. Have fun with that immigration issue, we'll just call you Mexas from now on."



The Texas financial structure looks good on paper, but I would LOVE to see "go it alone" Texas doesn't paint a picture of a country that can survive on it's own, nor of one that can garner the co-operation of others, they would be North Mexico in under two years.


Never liked the ignorant indignation of the south, and this is just cementing those feelings.
2012-11-13 01:08:23 PM
1 votes:
Again, sent last night from my boss:

Texas succeeding the Union is exactly the wake up call the rest of this country needs! And Texas is the only state that has the balls (and therefore the obligation) to do it! Consider this: the popular vote ratio of Texas voters in this last election was approximately 60% Republican vs 40% democrat. The California vote was almost exactly the reciprocal of that. Now, consider the fact that Texas has created the most jobs in the last four years of any other state in the Union and has had a balanced state budget with no state income tax during that time, versus California (the poster child state for liberals), which has had one of the worst job records, highest percentage of population in the country on entitlement programs, one of the highest state income tax rates, and a bankrupt state budget, and the choice is clear. I mean how do you argue with that without sounding like you're totally out of touch with reality? It just disturbs and enrages me that so many "Americans" don't see this obvious and simple truth. Texas succeeding the Union? HELL YES!!! WHERE DO WE SIGN UP???
2012-11-13 01:00:56 PM
1 votes:
25,000 signatures? Big deal. Over 400,000 have signed a petition asking Macy's to severe its ties with Donald Trump. Call back when you can beat that.
2012-11-13 12:51:26 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.


SO. MUCH. THIS.

/This is why I fav'd FNB - Magnificent Bastard!
2012-11-13 12:47:35 PM
1 votes:
And it seems the official response is coming in now...

volcanolady1.files.wordpress.com

"Prepare to die!"

/I must have posted pictures of Sherman in ten related threads by now, this is ridiculous
2012-11-13 12:45:27 PM
1 votes:
Obama should go up to the podium, say "The issue of secession was settled in the Appomattox Courthouse on April 9th, 1865" and then walk away.
2012-11-13 12:39:55 PM
1 votes:
I didn't get what I wanted.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sane Texans, I'm sorry you have to live with these chucklefarks.
2012-11-13 12:38:25 PM
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: Texas doesn't even want to know the amount of money the US government would be hitting them for if they seceded. Newly independent countries start out with way more debt than they have money in the Treasury. It's why Texas joined the Union the first time.


Well, that and Santa Anna was rallying his armies for a rematch of 1836. Sam Houston saw the writing on the wall and begged to be annexed before the Mexican army could cross the Rio Grande.
2012-11-13 12:33:39 PM
1 votes:

Infernalist: mark12A: Of course, when the Mexicans take over California, and start agitating for secession, Farkistan will cheer them on as they correct an historic wrong, i.e., Mexico's loss of California to the US....

/politically correct disintegration of USA is the best kind of disintegration

If you're going to try to troll, at least put some effort into it.

FFS, this is sad. Whatever happened to the 'good' trolls? The ones that could at least make you feel 'something' other than sad for the would-be troller...


Agreed, if I had the sound turned on, all I would've heard while reading were fart noises coming through the speakers.

Remember when Fark trolls had more to offer than fart noises as words?
2012-11-13 12:32:26 PM
1 votes:
Ideal White House response: Please proceed, Texas.
2012-11-13 12:32:23 PM
1 votes:
The official response should be a photo of the President taking a leak on Jefferson Davis's grave.
2012-11-13 12:30:48 PM
1 votes:

CPennypacker: Obama comes to the Podium:

"As you all know, in order to foster an open dialogue with the American people, my administration has set in place a rule that mandates a response to any and all petitions that are able to gather in excess of 25,000 signatures. This week such a petition has been brought to my desk requesting the secession of the great state of Texas from the Union. As we are required to address the petition based on our own, self-imposed rules, I have prepared a response."

*clears throat*

"No"

Walks off stage


Can he, at least, walk out on stage surrounded by a rainbow coalition of hot broads in bikinis, wearing a fur coat and pimp hat, and with Biden in tow wearing his Kiss Crazy Crazy Nights '87 Tour T-Shirt, leather pants, and rocking a mullet?
2012-11-13 12:29:33 PM
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org
2012-11-13 12:28:34 PM
1 votes:

ActivKino: I know it's idiocy, but has this particular flavor of idiocy happened before? Is there secessionist wharrgarbl every time a president is elected/re-elected and I just haven't been paying attention?


You're forgetting this president is stubbornly remaining black.
2012-11-13 12:28:09 PM
1 votes:
A quick glance at all these petitions (including for such redneck havens as New Jersey, New York, California, and my home state of Colorado) show they are almost all identical boilerplate, sometimes submitted by non-residents of the state concerned, with multiple identical petitions for some states because the teatards can't read, and all being cross-signed by the same group of morans from various other states.
2012-11-13 12:27:27 PM
1 votes:
Because secession worked out so well the last time some states tried it.

History books, not just for resting your head...
2012-11-13 12:27:12 PM
1 votes:

mark12A: Of course, when the Mexicans take over California, and start agitating for secession, Farkistan will cheer them on as they correct an historic wrong, i.e., Mexico's loss of California to the US....


in my fever dreams, farkers will be too drunk to be politically correct.

i guess for clarity, it's worth asking - is mooning or wagging of genitalia generally considered politically correct?
2012-11-13 12:25:12 PM
1 votes:
Well to be fair... the president's skin is rather dark.
2012-11-13 12:24:32 PM
1 votes:
"We've reviewed your request and the answer is no. Here, have a lollipop"
2012-11-13 12:22:27 PM
1 votes:
So, seeing as how you are declaring your intent to secede by signing one of these petitions, does that mean you're renouncing your citizenship? And if so, what does that mean for question j on form 4473? Link. Wouldn't be surprised to find out that the people who signed these petitions don't realize they just gave Barry and the BATFE a list of people who technically won't pass their NICS check anymore.....
2012-11-13 12:21:56 PM
1 votes:
Texas seceding would be the greatest thing that's ever happened to the US. Without Texas's Congressmen, the Democrats would take the House and further their control of the Senate. Not to mention that without it's 38 electoral votes the Republicans would never have a chance at the White House ever again.
2012-11-13 12:19:14 PM
1 votes:
I say, let them go.

Without Texas and all its electoral votes, the Republicans will never win another national election again. The Texas School Board won't get to dictate textbook standards to the rest of the nation anymore. There will be a lot fewer oil billionaires influencing our national environmental and energy policy. We won't any longer have to poor federal money into the state for basic social services because those "low-tax patriots" refuse to spend any state money on social services for their own sick and destitute.

Just think how much greater America would be without Texas. I'm really not seeing the downside here.
2012-11-13 12:19:06 PM
1 votes:

ModernPrimitive01: /Mississippi I'm looking at you


MS's whole reason for existing is for the other shiatty states to feel better about themselves. It's like the turd you leave alone near your picnic because it keeps the flies off your food. I know it worked wonders when I was in LA.
2012-11-13 12:19:01 PM
1 votes:
Don''t at least a few of those signers have to actually be legal residents of Texas?
2012-11-13 12:18:51 PM
1 votes:

Matt Foley: Perducci: FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.

Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.

The national cuisine would be awesome. Chili Poutine with a maple glazed 20 oz. ribeye.


The Maple-Glazed Ribeye already exist in Texas.. and the Chili Poutine exists in Toronto
2012-11-13 12:16:37 PM
1 votes:

CygnusDarius: Perducci: FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.

Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.


Derp Twins Activate!.
2012-11-13 12:13:10 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.


Also tell them (before they go): You wanna leave? Fine, your part of the 2013 budget will now be split between the other 49 states.

/will see them say "Uh, wait. On second thought..."
2012-11-13 12:12:19 PM
1 votes:

garandman1a: Obama hates Texas as much, if not more, then Texas hates Obama.


Actually, Texas is one of the best fundraising states for Obama. The GOP has such a lock on statewide offices here that liberals tend to give more money to national Democratic candidates. Obama hit Austin pretty regularly to fill up the campaign coffers.

And all the big cities in Texas (except for Fort Worth, maybe) voted for Obama. It's just that we have vaster derpish hinterlands than most states, so our population centers aren't enough (yet) to outvote Whargarbl-Americans.
2012-11-13 12:11:46 PM
1 votes:
Hey guys, really, we should all be on board. Here is a great case for having two Americas
2012-11-13 12:11:46 PM
1 votes:
Largest recipient of FEMA dollars gone, one budget closer to fixed.
2012-11-13 12:10:14 PM
1 votes:
Perry, you pussy.
2012-11-13 12:10:00 PM
1 votes:
i1.kym-cdn.com
2012-11-13 12:09:48 PM
1 votes:

wildcardjack: "All you have to do is pay off your share of the national debt and we'll let you go"


Ah yes and all the federally owned land- which is a lot of the state- of course still belongs to the USA. That includes the offshore oil leases.
2012-11-13 12:09:32 PM
1 votes:

LabGrrl: I think a proportional response is called for. Time to move a military base up north. We're just trying to make them happy.


I like you.
2012-11-13 12:09:07 PM
1 votes:
Expel them from the union, for the lulz
2012-11-13 12:08:31 PM
1 votes:

jayhawk88: What about "Fine but only if you take Oklahoma with you"? That'll sour the deal real fast.


Aw, prairie sh-t...
2012-11-13 12:08:12 PM
1 votes:

Raging Whore Moans: Done in one.


Bullshiat. This is well settled. The land stays. They're free to pack their shiat up and drag it to whatever hell-hole will take them.
2012-11-13 12:08:11 PM
1 votes:
Secession is unconstitutional. QED.
2012-11-13 12:05:31 PM
1 votes:
I'm guessing it'll be more of a "Haha no." type response.
2012-11-13 12:03:56 PM
1 votes:
Done in one.
 
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