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(Yahoo)   Since it has exceeded the 25,000 signature threshold, the White House by its own rules, may have to formally respond to the TX secession petition on WhiteHouse.gov. Aides say possible responses include "aww hell Naw" and "No. Fark You"   ( news.yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Followup, naw, White House, Texas Secession, Grandma's, original idea, petitions, federal courts, enumerated powers  
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10724 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 12:03 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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KIA
2012-11-13 07:17:35 PM  

sprawl15: Secession is unconstitutional. QED.


Actually, it is not addressed in the Constitution. It may have been addressed vi et armis in the Civil War, but has never been actually resolved by any kind of rational analysis. The Union, after all, is not a gang from which one must be beaten out.

What would be really entertaining is if Texas exercised its' Constitutional right to split itself into four states. Four more red states. That would liven things up.
 
2012-11-13 07:19:18 PM  
I vote that Israel and Texas swap populations. Problems solved.
 
2012-11-13 07:25:41 PM  
This petition as well as the others is nothing more than ignorant, petulant butthurt manifest.
The short answer is no
The long answer is NNNNnnnOOOOOOOOOOOO.

The fact is, we are stuck with them and they us. Period.

As an official Presidential statement he would not have the luxury of an appropriate flippant reply.
He could however use this occasion to appeal for unification and a willingness to work to together for the betterment of the country.

The question is, is he a statesman or merely a politician.
This is actually a big opportunity for the administration.
 
2012-11-13 07:39:19 PM  

ciberido: Matt Foley: Perducci: FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.

Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.

The national cuisine would be awesome. Chili Poutine with a maple glazed 20 oz. ribeye.

[www.operatorchan.org image 500x375]
So hungry now for Téxécoise cuisine.


My husband puts creton on my buttermilk biscuits and I eat cornbread with his soupe aux pois.
 
2012-11-13 08:13:25 PM  

signaljammer: When Virginia joined the Union it was with the written understanding that they were free to secede.

That said, all of this is racism pure and simple. Obama is just a shade to the right of Andrew Jackson.


This is probably a dumb question, but does that have anything to do with being a "commonwealth" rather than a "state"?
 
2012-11-13 08:13:40 PM  

Gleeman: Because secession worked out so well the last time some states tried it.

History books, not just for resting your head...


Yeah but last time, a Republican President kicked their ass down the block. This time a Democratic President will have that pleasure.

Failure. How does it work?
 
2012-11-13 08:19:39 PM  

BgJonson79: More_Like_A_Stain: mark12A: Of course, when the Mexicans take over California, and start agitating for secession, Farkistan will cheer them on as they correct an historic wrong, i.e., Mexico's loss of California to the US....

/politically correct disintegration of USA is the best kind of disintegration

So let me get this straight. Mexicans will endure the hardship and risk of illegally crossing the border presumably in order to build a better life for themselves than they could have in Mexico. And then they will decide that the best way to create that life is to live in Mexico?

What makes you think they'd join Mexico? Why not their own country?


Because
1) Texas used to belong to México until they rebelled. México might want it back.
2) We sell Texas back to México for a little cash
 
2012-11-13 08:22:59 PM  

Honest Bender: StreetlightInTheGhetto: I think he should just walk into the press room, go behind the podium, pick up the mic, recite Bill Pullman's speech from Independence Day, drop it, and leave. But that's just me.

Podium

Lectern

/TMMK!


Actually, one definition of podium IS lectern. So, while you're correct, so, technically, is StreetlightInTheGhetto.
 
2012-11-13 09:05:23 PM  

doubled99: Why do so many of you have a problem with this? Let em do it.


Because there are a lot of people in TX who AREN'T wackjobs. With all this said, we're hardly witnessing Civil War 2.0. We're talking a tiny group of people, not the whole friggin state. I'm all for reducing the scope of the Federal Government in favor of more local control (regardless of what administration is administering it), but I can't see "secession" as either sane, or productive.
 
2012-11-13 09:40:58 PM  

grimlock1972: Imma be serious on this. if i was the president i would put out a group response to all the succession petitions and close them all down, the response would simply be a cut and paste of the Constitution making succession illegal and nothing else as it doesn't matter how nice you are these nitwits are gonna be pissed with anything short of what the president has no reason or authority to grant.


What exact part of the Constitution would you cut and past? Just curious which clause states "Blood in. Blood out. " I forget.
 
2012-11-13 10:22:13 PM  

Gosling: I blogged my response. I'll just link it because, well, first, I get hits that way and ha ha ha, and second, I spare you a tl;dr moment.


It was longer than the average Fark post but worth the read, I thought. So enjoy your hit.
 
2012-11-13 10:26:04 PM  

Daniels: I think you are vastly overestimating how much of a stomach the remaining US would have for sanctioning them. First of all, current Texans would still be citizens under pretty much every definition of the 14th Amendment so they wouldn't have to apply for visas. Secondly, Congress would be under tremendous economic pressure to add trade treaties for American companies who have clients in Texas. Yes, they would absolutely pull out military assets and contracts would have to be renegotiated. Third, as assholy as the people on Fark are, I don't think most normal people in the country would be OK with the US acting like a spurned boyfriend toward a former state.

 

I really think (and hope) that most of this "don't let the door hit you on the way out" talk is just hyperbole.

I don't think most Farkers are really as spiteful as we sometimes pretend to be.
 
2012-11-13 10:43:25 PM  
United we stand. Divided we should still stand.
 
2012-11-13 10:54:35 PM  

ciberido: sodomizer: You go be Democrats in the blue states and try out all your new theories. We'll secede, and then clean up when you implode like your inspiration, the Soviet Union.

Oh, you're still here after the election? You're a plucky fella.  Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Didn't I hear that the red states were largely a net drain on the US economy? You think Texas can make it on its own without the rest of the USA?


Interestingly, Texas is one of the few red states with a decent chance and making it as an Independent. Already a donor state, their oil and oil infrastructure (refineries) combined with large amounts of trade with Mexico would provide sizable wealth. Further the trade that currently goes THROUGH Texas would have to re-route or (presumably) pay nominal fees for transit, and that includes both International trade from the southern nations and interstate trade that is most easily routed through Texas' rail and highway system.

Problem, aside from America and Mexico being disinclined to put up with that kind of shiat, Texas' current government is RIFE with corruption and graft, and the rapidly increasing amount of pollution we'd be pumping out (yes, we, I live here for the foreseeable future) as a result of no more federal oversight would rapidly lead to serious diplomatic problems.

Also all the obvious OTHER problems of being rebel traitors to America.

I don't know, it's interesting in the same way post-apocalyptic fiction is interesting.
 
2012-11-13 11:17:21 PM  

Valiente: Dismember the Alamo.


I laughed very very hard over this. Thanks!
 
2012-11-14 12:17:37 AM  

Infernalist: Say what you like but the image of Sherman 'still' scares the hell out of the average southern 'patriot'.


Scares the fark out of me, and all of my people fought for the Union.
 
2012-11-14 12:37:04 AM  

Daniels: FormlessOne: You couldn't have drained the fun out of my satire faster if you'd actually held it underwater and throttled it while screaming in a high-pitched voice about how Kevin Spacey gets all your parts. Honestly, you didn't actually take my post as actual speculation, did you?

Not really. I just kinda want to a state to start secession proceedings just to see what happens. I think it would be amusing to watch as long as it's kept to courtrooms.


Not being a constitutional lawyer, I think it might go something like:

(1) Texas Legislature proposes a state-wide referendum to determine if Texans want independence.
(2) IF the referendum passes, the Governor would submit a formal request to the US Congress to reverse the resolution that annexed Texas.
(3) IF the House passed a resolution to de-annex Texas (with a tremendous amount of clauses outlining all the financial and relationship issues to be addressed and agreed), the request would go the Senate,
(4) IF the Senate accepted the resolution it would go to the President (with whatever amendments they wanted)
(5) IF the President signed the bill, hilarity (and a great deal of WTF do we do now) would ensue
(6) There would be a national Fark Party on Sixth Street (as Austin would be a US enclave inside Texas).

Texan by the way, pro-independence as well. So go ahead Farkers, I await your Nobel-worthy responses.

//not going to happen, but thanks for playing.
 
2012-11-14 12:39:04 AM  
Sorry I messed up the bolding. I'm from Texas. BOE doesn't allow any training in HTML.
 
2012-11-14 12:41:34 AM  

frunjer: Daniels: FormlessOne: You couldn't have drained the fun out of my satire faster if you'd actually held it underwater and throttled it while screaming in a high-pitched voice about how Kevin Spacey gets all your parts. Honestly, you didn't actually take my post as actual speculation, did you?

Not really. I just kinda want to a state to start secession proceedings just to see what happens. I think it would be amusing to watch as long as it's kept to courtrooms.

Not being a constitutional lawyer, I think it might go something like:

(1) Texas Legislature proposes a state-wide referendum to determine if Texans want independence.
(2) IF the referendum passes, the Governor would submit a formal request to the US Congress to reverse the resolution that annexed Texas.
(3) IF the House passed a resolution to de-annex Texas (with a tremendous amount of clauses outlining all the financial and relationship issues to be addressed and agreed), the request would go the Senate,
(4) IF the Senate accepted the resolution it would go to the President (with whatever amendments they wanted)
(5) IF the President signed the bill, hilarity (and a great deal of WTF do we do now) would ensue
(6) There would be a national Fark Party on Sixth Street (as Austin would be a US enclave inside Texas).

Texan by the way, pro-independence as well. So go ahead Farkers, I await your Nobel-worthy responses.

//not going to happen, but thanks for playing.


Well, for one, I would guess the annexation agreement is voided by Texas joining the CSA. Texas already left the Union once.
 
2012-11-14 12:43:43 AM  

wildcardjack: phritz: Also we should carpet bomb Dallas. Just in general, I mean, whether they secede or not.

Actually, if you could nail the freeways on the south side of downtown, where I-35E, I-30, US75 and I-45 get all jumbled because it was hip to run major freeways next to downtowns in the 1950's, we could finally get those redone in a fashion that works. Maybe get things so the through traffic goes down Loop12 to I-20 back to I-35E instead of through the downtown.

If you hit Frisco while you're at it we could use some help with our infestation of Californians.

But if you hit Lakewood or Oak Cliff we'd lose the old neighborhoods and have nothing but McMansions rebuilt in their place.


Also a drone strike on Jerry Jones and/or Tony Romo
 
2012-11-14 01:04:57 AM  

Daniels: Philip Francis Queeg: Of course all those issues go both ways. If you think Texas could go without being absolutely devastated economically, you are fooling yourselves.

A lot would depend on how coonty the US decided to be. If the US decided to apply crippling economic sanctions, which I don't know if the rest of the country would have the stomach for, it would be really hard. If they decided to just treat them like an EU-type neighbor, they'd be generally OK.

There is no reason to believe Texas could not survive as a country after a few very difficult transition years. They have oil, agriculture, infrastructure, functioning cities, and healthy shipping industry. They would have a tremendous amount of difficulty transitioning out of the federal government's budget. And then they would probably be fine.


Your forgetting that their would be a mass exodus of skilled labor, collage educated professionals, and people who other wise work and live in Texas but are not from Texas.
 
2012-11-14 02:11:20 AM  

TheBigJerk: ciberido: Didn't I hear that the red states were largely a net drain on the US economy? You think Texas can make it on its own without the rest of the USA?

Interestingly, Texas is one of the few red states with a decent chance and making it as an Independent. Already a donor state, their oil and oil infrastructure (refineries) combined with large amounts of trade with Mexico would provide sizable wealth. Further the trade that currently goes THROUGH Texas would have to re-route or (presumably) pay nominal fees for transit, and that includes both International trade from the southern nations and interstate trade that is most easily routed through Texas' rail and highway system.


Well, color me misinformed. But I learned something today, so it's not a total waste.
 
2012-11-14 02:16:34 AM  

rufus-t-firefly: The response should just be a photo of Gen. Sherman.

 
2012-11-14 02:26:32 AM  

tallen702: So, seeing as how you are declaring your intent to secede by signing one of these petitions, does that mean you're renouncing your citizenship? And if so, what does that mean for question j on form 4473? Link. Wouldn't be surprised to find out that the people who signed these petitions don't realize they just gave Barry and the BATFE a list of people who technically won't pass their NICS check anymore.....


Including the yahoos who signed it and don't live anywhere near Texas?
 
2012-11-14 02:30:49 AM  
farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-11-14 04:50:00 AM  
Fark Response: Aren't there guns and religion you guys not clinging to?

Real Response: The only way for our country to move forward is together as one.
 
2012-11-14 08:49:17 AM  
so could some one out side of texas sign this thing with the aim of getting texas booted out of the union.
just a thought.
 
2012-11-14 09:48:47 AM  
I thought Texas could secede without consequence at any time. Ask any "real" Texan and they will tell you that.
 
2012-11-14 10:04:13 AM  
Texas, please proceed!
 
2012-11-14 10:11:53 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com 
Someone somewhere just had a wet dream come true.
 
2012-11-14 10:43:30 AM  

Nuc_E: I thought Texas could secede without consequence at any time. Ask any "real" Texan and they will tell you that.


That was before Texas did in fact secede to join the CSA. I have no idea what the terms of re-admission to the Union were.
 
2012-11-14 11:50:47 AM  
"When the South raised its sword against the Union's Flag, it was in defense of the Union's Constitution."

Confederate General John B. Gordon
 
2012-11-14 12:51:54 PM  
How I would love to see this.

"You are free to secede, go with our blessings."
"In other news, people of the world, this state is no longer part of the USA and is no longer under our military protection. Please don't attack them right away, as they don't have any form of standing army, navy, or air force, and they would probably crumple before you in surrender within hours of the declaration of hostilities. Give 'em a few years to get on their feet, alright?"
 
2012-11-14 04:02:40 PM  
I like the idea
..and while the number of people signing the petition is nowhere near the main of the texas populace
I would really like to see how this would work out.

You are grossly underestimating the pride of a texan in being a texan.
and let's be honest, the government doesn't care about what happens on the borders of mexico anyway. Let's just increase that
 
2012-11-14 04:18:03 PM  

whidbey: Pretty sure that wouldn't even cover most highway/road repairs.

Try again.


They could tax the gasoline sold at the pump to pay for their roads.

You know, like every state and county does....
 
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