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(Yahoo)   Since it has exceeded the 25,000 signature threshold, the White House by its own rules, may have to formally respond to the TX secession petition on WhiteHouse.gov. Aides say possible responses include "aww hell Naw" and "No. Fark You"   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 412
    More: Followup, naw, White House, Texas Secession, Grandma's, original idea, petitions, federal courts, enumerated powers  
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10702 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 12:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-13 01:16:09 PM  

lennavan: Biness: Obama actually has a big incentive to let them go. The loss of Texas' pretty reliable electoral college votes would pretty much guarantee democrat presidents for the near to mid term future.

Fme, I thought I would be the first person to post this. This really is one of those cases where we actually would be better off without them.


Not we. He.
 
2012-11-13 01:18:05 PM  

doubled99: Don't be so self-righteous. We stole the land.


Self-rightious? No. Realistic. Might doesn't make right, but it does make the rules.
 
2012-11-13 01:18:08 PM  

rufus-t-firefly: The response should just be a photo of Gen. Sherman.


I think you mean Gen. Sheridan
 
2012-11-13 01:18:43 PM  

doubled99: Why do so many of you have a problem with this? Let em do it.


In all fairness, it would take a lot of expense to get them back. Manpower, etc.--other countries are less happy about releasing claimed territory than us, and Mexico would try a land grab as soon as possible.
 
2012-11-13 01:19:52 PM  

Matt Foley: Perducci: FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.

Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.

The national cuisine would be awesome. Chili Poutine with a maple glazed 20 oz. ribeye.


i359.photobucket.com

i267.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-13 01:20:04 PM  

tinderfitles: Anyone else really excited at the prospect of Joe Biden: Road Warrior?


i46.tinypic.com
There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your Camaro, the oil, the TexMex food, and the whole of your Amtrak Eagle routes, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror. And there will be ice cream.
 
DGS [TotalFark]
2012-11-13 01:21:53 PM  

sodomizer: You go be Democrats in the blue states and try out all your new theories. We'll secede, and then clean up when you implode like your inspiration, the Soviet Union.


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That is all.
 
2012-11-13 01:22:24 PM  

Mija: KarmicDisaster: He should tell the signers to self-deport if they want to. I know someone that did during the last election. It isn't going very well for them in spite of the web sites that they looked at that told them it would be a libertarian paradise.

I would like more details please so I can enjoy their failure.


I can't say because they might lurk. They live in Panama now. First the emails were gloating, now they are pitiful and pleading. I guess that the expected collapse it taking a bit too long.
 
2012-11-13 01:22:32 PM  

sprawl15: Secession is unconstitutional. QED.


So is unreasonable search and seizure.
So are a lot of things people put up with because they are pussies.
Now, If those pussies want to quit out nation, fine. We keep the real estate, and they may git.
Deportation is not unconstitutional.
 
2012-11-13 01:23:27 PM  

Wadded Beef: Hear them out!


What butt hurt people who are crying because they lost. Make up bullshiat that Obama is a "socialist" even though he is to the right of almost all Republicans before the 80's and probably right to some of those after.

What haven't we heard from these nutballs? We've heard what they have to say. They live in a delusional fantasy world.
 
2012-11-13 01:24:57 PM  
This is what happens when regular Internet dwellers stumble onto something like this....

*what a hoot.....I'll sign this for the lulz...."
 
2012-11-13 01:25:02 PM  

DarnoKonrad: Doc Daneeka: I say, let them go

Why let them go when we could sell them back to Mexico?


I really don't want to have to wear Pemex orange when I travel to Houston.
 
2012-11-13 01:25:07 PM  

wildcardjack: Oznog: wildcardjack: "All you have to do is pay off your share of the national debt and we'll let you go"

Ah yes and all the federally owned land- which is a lot of the state- of course still belongs to the USA. That includes the offshore oil leases.

That's one of the funny things. Not much of Texas is Federal land.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x262]

A couple national parks, a bit of troublesome land along the Rio Grande that changes sides every couple of years, and some military bases.


3000 decommissioned nuclear warheads.
 
2012-11-13 01:25:38 PM  

lennavan: Biness: Obama actually has a big incentive to let them go. The loss of Texas' pretty reliable electoral college votes would pretty much guarantee democrat presidents for the near to mid term future.

Fme, I thought I would be the first person to post this. This really is one of those cases where we actually would be better off without them.


In the short term perhaps.


But shifting demographics mean that Texas will probably be a swing state within a few election cycles. If current trends hold out over the long term, it'll be a solidly blue state eventually. The only way to reverse this is if the Republicans figure out how to win the Hispanic vote, which is possible as long as they don't take the opposite lesson from the 2012 election...which they probably will and turn even harder to the right.
 
2012-11-13 01:27:06 PM  

MrPenny: This is what happens when regular Internet dwellers stumble onto something like this....

*what a hoot.....I'll sign this for the lulz...."


We need ones making fun of the Tea Party people like.


Petition to make people who say to follow the Constitution read what actually is in the Constitution and have them realize secession is not in there.
 
2012-11-13 01:27:20 PM  

phritz: Let's give them a trial period, say, by immediately removing all federal security at the border for a week. Let's see how that goes for them.

Also we should carpet bomb Dallas. Just in general, I mean, whether they secede or not.


Can we wait til the weekend? Get to open for The Wailers on Thursday, and I'd hate to miss that.
 
2012-11-13 01:27:48 PM  
IIRC, Texas had the right to break into 5 or so separate states. Don't know if that right is still valid after joining the CSA and rejoining the Union. If so, they should do that and let the new Texas decide on secession individually. It wont be any new state with Dallas, Austin, San Antonio or Houston.
 
2012-11-13 01:27:55 PM  

lennavan: Biness: Obama actually has a big incentive to let them go. The loss of Texas' pretty reliable electoral college votes would pretty much guarantee democrat presidents for the near to mid term future.

Fme, I thought I would be the first person to post this. This really is one of those cases where we actually would be better off without them.


As I said,.. if we boot them while keeping our assets and making them pay their debt, I can't see a downside.

As a country we get smarter, leaner, we keep the best parts of texas (oil/nuclear/reservations/preservations/military) and you've got the party line GOP shills, some billionaires and the rest of the population looking like deer in the headlights as they watch barbed wire go up around our federal parks, nuclear facilities, and oil fields, then get lost in the dust of miltary vehicles heading north with our bombs/guns/tanks.
 
2012-11-13 01:28:54 PM  

FeedTheCollapse: I'm guessing it'll be more of a "Haha no." type response.


This. Maybe look into enough of the IPs to add a comment about most of the signatures being the result of the shiat getting posted to FARK and so on and not being, y'know, from Texas.

doubled99: Don't be so self-righteous. We stole the land.


Nope, acquisition of land by conquest/colonization wasn't universally illegal until 1974. Before then, it was only banned for a limited set of nations (the treaty of Nuremburg in the late 1940s). At the time that the US gained basically all of its territories, colonization and conquest were considered the most legitimate methods of expansion, both in European and in pre-colonial American tradition (the Eastern nations were conquering each other all over the damned place until the late 1600s, and obviously the Aztecs in central America kinda rode a wave of blood to dominance, to give a couple examples).

There's a a Wiki page about this if you want to try having some elementary-school level of what you're discussing before you type something mind-numbingly stupid at us again. Maybe follow some links and shiat?
 
2012-11-13 01:30:37 PM  
 
2012-11-13 01:31:53 PM  

Renart: It's just that we have vaster derpish hinterlands than most states, so our population centers aren't enough (yet) to outvote Whargarbl-Americans.



That's assuming that your views are actually right, which is a big leap of faith, comrade...
 
2012-11-13 01:33:42 PM  
Oh goddamn it. Can we just send all those idiots who signed the petition somewhere else? Once we kick the crazies out of Texas, this'll be a great state.

/fark you for continuing to make Texas a punchline
//at least I live in Austin
 
2012-11-13 01:33:52 PM  
People, people! Please!

The Texas vs. White 76 U.S. 700 (1869) decision clearly puts into law that a State may not unilaterally secede from the Union.

susanhenschen.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-13 01:34:03 PM  

Sock Ruh Tease: [i.i.com.com image 620x350]

Dear Micah H,

Thank you for your petition. It is always good to see citizens using the Federal government's website to ask to secede from the Federal government.

You mentioned you were a member of the Tea Party. I regret to inform you that the Tea Party is actually against secession. Since you are politically active, and I support my political opponents' right to express their views, I would direct you to the Lemon Party. As supporters of secession, they may have something to offer you.

Sincerely,
President Barack Obama

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x278]

Dear Mr. Soetoro,

At first I ignored your suggestion, because you're not my President. My family shares my E-Mail, and my grandmother says she likes the Lemon Party, so I will research it, but only because she suggested that I do - not because of you.

- Micah H.

[i.imgur.com image 570x238]


LOL. I love the boot-strappyness of Micah H.
 
2012-11-13 01:34:13 PM  

Kuroshin: wildcardjack: Oznog: wildcardjack: "All you have to do is pay off your share of the national debt and we'll let you go"

Ah yes and all the federally owned land- which is a lot of the state- of course still belongs to the USA. That includes the offshore oil leases.

That's one of the funny things. Not much of Texas is Federal land.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x262]

A couple national parks, a bit of troublesome land along the Rio Grande that changes sides every couple of years, and some military bases.

Texas is primarily worthless nothing. Vast tracts of...nothing. Texas oil fields aren't what they once were, and beyond that, there's just...nothing.

Offshore oil fields, on the other hand...

Of course, rights to those belong to the US - not Texas. Texas can't support itself without oil money. Take away the oil, and you've just got a giant worthless desert.


That map WAS interesting, I didn't realize it was so little here.

Austin does have a very strong economy. Got Houston and Dallas, too.

The odd part is that Austin is very... different than the surrounding state. Pretty conservative outside of Austin, and Austin as a whole wouldn't really be on board with this secession thing. Ironically, yes, Austin is the capitol of Texas, yet we pretty much hate Rick Perry and the Legislature seated here. Let's not forget Texas is the state driving the revisionist/creationist textbook problem across the nation.

I'm not sure how to imagine how this would go down. Austin-area would essentially be Texas' bread-and-butter, but the conservative bulk of the state would probably try to sideline it and smother it in a blanket of "conservative reform".
 
2012-11-13 01:35:01 PM  

Scruggy: rufus-t-firefly: The response should just be a photo of Gen. Sherman.

I think you mean Gen. Sheridan


Din't those Texas surrendermonkeys give up before Sheridan even reached their state?
 
2012-11-13 01:36:24 PM  

Bendal: "Get your legislature to send me a request, then we'll talk."

Then sit back and watch the fun erupt.


I would love to see this. Turn them on their City, County and State Reps and say "SIKEM".

What would you do Perry? What would you do?
 
2012-11-13 01:37:29 PM  

NetOwl: //I don't want to hear any poutine about parts of America being Progressive, either. If you saw a pair of pants with manure all over the lower half except for the urban pockets, with an annoyingly archaic design that caused your wang to hang out in 2000, leading to eight years of voter-sanctioned death and destruction, you wouldn't put them on.


LOL
 
2012-11-13 01:37:40 PM  

sodomizer: That's assuming that your views are actually right, which is a big leap of faith, comrade...


You're not my comrade, guy!
 
2012-11-13 01:37:42 PM  
Two sentences into the Wikipedia article it's clear that seceding is not an option.

Loosen the bone Wilma, loosen the bone.

Who knew so many conservatives were such drama queens?
 
2012-11-13 01:38:56 PM  

kumanoki: People, people! Please!

The Texas vs. White 76 U.S. 700 (1869) decision clearly puts into law that a State may not unilaterally secede from the Union.

[susanhenschen.files.wordpress.com image 320x353]


You're getting a lot out of that image today in this post-election-GOP-rage-begets-Liberal-rage-at-the-audacity-and-stupidi ty-of-the-GOP-rage wasteland
 
2012-11-13 01:41:24 PM  
Besides, the US paid Mexico for big chunks of Texas. Who's got title?
 
2012-11-13 01:41:58 PM  

kumanoki: People, people! Please!

The Texas vs. White 76 U.S. 700 (1869) decision clearly puts into law that a State may not unilaterally secede from the Union.


But isn't the point of the petition so that they aren't unilaterally leaving the Union without permission (or expressed written consent of the NBA)?
 
2012-11-13 01:42:37 PM  
Aides say possible responses include "aww hell Naw" and "No. Fark You"

Making this case no different to how the Obama administration handles relations with pretty much anyone else who isn't a major donor.
 
2012-11-13 01:45:00 PM  

hatelabs: We will leave some bayonets sporks for you gratis.


The only necessary change. That was beautiful.
 
2012-11-13 01:46:47 PM  

Infernalist: mark12A: Of course, when the Mexicans take over California, and start agitating for secession, Farkistan will cheer them on as they correct an historic wrong, i.e., Mexico's loss of California to the US....

/politically correct disintegration of USA is the best kind of disintegration

If you're going to try to troll, at least put some effort into it.

FFS, this is sad. Whatever happened to the 'good' trolls? The ones that could at least make you feel 'something' other than sad for the would-be troller...


...or mark12a could have been making what yhey thought to be a funny/witty comment (subjective criteria).

Not everyone you disagree with is a troll.
 
2012-11-13 01:46:54 PM  

coeyagi: kumanoki: People, people! Please!

The Texas vs. White 76 U.S. 700 (1869) decision clearly puts into law that a State may not unilaterally secede from the Union.

[susanhenschen.files.wordpress.com image 320x353]

You're getting a lot out of that image today in this post-election-GOP-rage-begets-Liberal-rage-at-the-audacity-and-stupidi ty-of-the-GOP-rage wasteland


I am, aren't I?

I feel like I should be using this picture instead:

static.flickr.com

"I won't ask for my glasses back as a favour. I won't ask Jack to be a sport, I'll say not because he's strong but because what's right's right."
 
2012-11-13 01:47:19 PM  

Amy Winehouse's Ghost: Who knew so many conservatives were such drama queens?


Anyone who has been paying attention since the Clinton years? : )
 
2012-11-13 01:47:59 PM  

jonasborg: super_grass: You say that like the White House will actually respond to the petition with something meaningful.

Remember the petition asking for marijuana legalization?

This


^^^^
 
2012-11-13 01:49:17 PM  

thunderbird8804: And it seems the official response is coming in now...

[volcanolady1.files.wordpress.com image 390x544]

"Prepare to die!"

/I must have posted pictures of Sherman in ten related threads by now, this is ridiculous



Me too.
snarkerati.com
 
2012-11-13 01:51:05 PM  
You think there would be enough room left over for the rest of these neo-jebus tinfoil hatters?

/crosses fingers
 
2012-11-13 01:51:51 PM  

Buck Henderson: They mention being able to keep a balanced budget in the petition. Googling "Texas state balanced budget" returns a bunch of articles about accounting tricks and federal money. I'm not sorting through this stuff at the moment, but it seems that this tidbit may not quite be the case.


Most every State has such a requirement in their constitutions. It's a horrible idea - it guarantees that State and local government spending will be procyclical rather than countercyclical, so it makes recessions worse.

A better idea would be to have a budget that's balanced when averaged over many years, to allow for some recession-fighting (and corresponding savings in good times). Admittedly that sort of requirement would be difficult to enumerate in a precise legal way.
 
2012-11-13 01:53:50 PM  
Folks, 'Cheaters' has been filmed in the state for over the past decade. I think it's clear, Texas has to go...
 
2012-11-13 01:53:57 PM  

sirgrim: Please, we insist.


Sure, why not. I also agree with:

www.sectalk.com
 
2012-11-13 01:55:43 PM  

verbaltoxin: doubled99: " I despise and mock these farkin people and all they stand for, but I INSIST they remain part of our collective"

Well yes, they deserve to be mocked. That doesn't mean they can't stay and continue to be mocked! Texas will sit here and listen to the hilarious things I have to say about them!


I live in Texas yet I share none of the views which you are against. Are you saying you're somehow superior to me based on geography alone?
 
2012-11-13 02:00:29 PM  

sethen320: I live in Texas yet I share none of the views which you are against. Are you saying you're somehow superior to me based on geography alone?


a texan poo-poo-ing somebody else over claims of geographical superiority.

i think we can unplug the internet now, we've now played out every possible scenario.
 
2012-11-13 02:02:24 PM  

SuperJonnyC: There was a time when Texas was a Blue state, and if going by this last election there may be a shift towards it again,most of the major cities voted Democrat. I have lived here in Houston for the past 11 years and it has some of the nicest people in the country. Sure there are a lot of knuckleheads running around and one of the unfortunate things is that there are many in public office but don't be suprised to see that shift in the next decade. One of the major things to come out of this election was that minorites are voting in greater number and most mexican/americans are Democrats.

And you don't want Texas to secede. Just because there is a very vocal minority of idiots running things doesnt mean we can't work this stuff out. Just give us some time to get Texas back in good standing.


Say what you want, but I'm not apologizing because people can't do simple math and realize that 25,000 people is a pretty insignificant number of people and certainly not an indicator of popular opinion.
 
2012-11-13 02:03:34 PM  
Let em go. Next time we feel the itch to have an oil driven war, we don't have to go as far.
 
2012-11-13 02:05:48 PM  

garandman1a: Before everyone says 'no way', think about it.

1) Obama hates Texas as much, if not more, then Texas hates Obama.
2) With the loss of 30 something guaranteed red state votes, he would make the path to the Whitehouse much easier for Nancy Pelosi.


You're projecting.

I can't recall Obama making any statement or action that would lead you to believe that, so I am gonna just chalk it up to you needing to make shiat up to justify your own hatred.
 
2012-11-13 02:10:47 PM  

Jaws_Victim: Why on earth is there a petition to secede in the first place? Shouldn't they be doing some kind of armed revolution instead? Why would the president look at 25k signatures and say "Oh yes, these people should decide what 25 million people in the state want!" And then allow the secession to take place?

Just showing how stupid they are. Again.


Actually what you just pointed out in your comment is showing how stupid everyone here is acting. I think you pretty much just showed why this is not a big deal and really shouldn't even be news.
 
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